First Night Stand

Looks that looks like a wonderful painting that you have in the back there you've been just kind of throw it over my shoulder and what happened? One of those? Just all and then call it arts? Thank you? Um Dmitri, how are you doing? Brother? I'm doing well, thank you. I came down. I came down to the try to give it a little more of a manly field that I say. I got a work bench behind me, even brought out the drill. I see the drill. Yeah yeah,

I rented all that for this. And then it has to go back in about an hour received and then we have a special guest with us today. He is I actually kind of want to learn from him from on how to co host a show? Um, if you have a television, you have seen this man all over it for sure an actor a host? Um man, I could I'm looking at your bio here we have Dan

Cortes with us. Yeah, welcome. I don't have I don't have a work bench and Dmitri, how about if I just put the pencil behind my does that look like let's do like, let's do two to three quarters? That that works for me? Okay, And as far as anybody can tell from now, you have a tool belt on, we just do that's and that's all I'm wearing from the way. So it's just a tool belt. And I just don't have the accolades that you have in your background to sign jerseys, to sign football, I don't have

that stuff. So I had to rent this. You know what's great is none of that's mine. It's everybody else's signature. It's not mine, So it's any words. Indeed, like I when you popped on there, I was just like, that's kind of what I want my home office to look like. There you like a book with my face on it? Like I see your book right there? Hey, I should

have saved it that that's my new book. But when I initially started promoting the book, the publishers had kept telling me like you needed why don't you have the book and in the background of anything book because you haven't sent me any So I literally took my older son's NBA two K xbox game, printed out a piece of paper that had the book ever and taped it to it and would sit it back there and just tell Pep it was the book. Yeah, awesome. Well dude, we're gonna get more into that book. But Um, I

want to get to your opinion. So Dan's coming on as a respected gentleman UM who has some insight for us. We had a Dan last week. We had a hot topic on the how men thinks showing and uh Dmitri and uh Rick weren't with us. Ryan was with us, but producer Tory, our lovely producer, Um opened up about her dating life and ask the question about should people hook up on the first date? Yeah, should they hook up on the first date? Is that frowned upon from

a guy's standpoint if the woman does that? Or is it me you mean you're being a little churchgoer here? You mean hook up as in have sex, go all the way. Yeah, yeah, I guess I guess we should clarify what um so the hell men think community has just exploded. There's a wild debate going on right now. Some people say yes, some people say no. Some people say, um, they that yes, they absolutely judge somebody for going that

far on the first date. But I want to get your guys opinions on this um As a gentleman going out on a date, first date with the lady, Dan will lead with you, what are you looking for on a first date? And would you even pursue? Be honest? Brother, be honest with you, would you even pursue physical conto physical intimacy on the first date? Okay, being honest. If you're a guy and you're attracted to someone, obviously that is in your mind somewhere. It's it's not like you go, hey,

I'm really attracted to as a person. I hope it doesn't go any further now. I I also think though, the first thing I look for on any first date is if there's any sort of compatibility. Now, if there's no compatibility, then you don't that doesn't cross your mind. But if you if there's some sort of compatibility. There, you're getting along, she's laughing at my dumb jokes. I think this is great. Then obviously that will start to

any guy's mind. It's gonna cross your mind. I mean, I mean, and you guys know it crosses your mind to meet. You don't say no, you know it does. No, No, it crosses your mind for sure. But what you're not You're going up to the pool, but you're not jumping in. The question is would you judge a woman not? It's not does a guy I want to have sex? Yes? He does, So I'll say when I was younger, I

used to think that was something I wasn't interested. I would think if a girl wanted to, you know, was having sex on the first date with me, then clearly she would have sex with somebody else on the first date. So when I was younger, I would think that that bothered me. But I've I've grown older, and I've matured, and I've realized that, you know, but sured as much as I probably can, and I've realized that there's so

much more to relationships than that. So to judge somebody on feeling their way through life just doesn't make sense. So I actually have a lot of friends or quite a group of friends that have that did it on the first date and are happily married with kids for for for a long time. So the question is what I judge them? No, in the past, I may have, but I don't think that should be a deal break. Okay, wait, so the question was do you judge the woman not?

Does it cross my mind both both? Like if you're going out on a date, like, let's be honest here, So if I'm going on on a date, like you're you're wanting to be physical with this person, that's probably why you're going on a date with them. You're not going on on a date with somebody you're not physically attract. But are you trying to lead the night in that direction?

Or are you are you respectfully keeping a physical distance in like honoring getting to know somebody, wanting to move it in the physical element, like wanting to have sex with this person, but down the road tonight is just about seeing if our chemistry is on and if I really like you, Well, I don't think I don't think you should try and lead a date whatsoever. I think you just gotta see where it goes. You shouldn't go into it with a predetermined notion of, Hey, I'm really

attracted to her. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna throw a few feelers out there. I'm gonna say this and see if she responds in a certain way or not. I'm more of the like mind of, hey, let's just see where the night takes us and and if you get along. But I'm also with Dmitri. I think it's when I was younger, I agreed the same thing. It was, Oh jeesus, she's gonna sleep with me on the first day. Who

else has she slept with on the first date? But then the same thing as you get older and I don't know about wiser, but you just get older and so have been around a little bit, you, you know, before it gets to that point, if there's some sort of connection with this person. I appreciate that you kind of made a similarity between us, Dan, but I guarantee there's women that would have sex with you on the first date that would not have sex with me on

the first day. So appreciate question. I have a question, were you guys really thinking about that when you were younger? Like m I wonder what she's going to think about and I'm gonna do this, and you know, what's she going to think? It wasn't I'm going to do this, and what's gonna think? My my? In my perfect world.

When I was younger, I was a bit of a romantic and I wanted to like if I was if it was somebody that I was interested in having relationship with, my preference would have been to not do it on the first date. But as I said, I've realized that there's a lot when you're younger. There's a lot of stuff that importance that you put on certain things that really in life that it's not as big a deal

as you may be thinking. And that's your preference, not what you could have been taught maybe by your parents. Just got deep that got yeah, that was good, Uh, not what I saw. I don't think that I was taught with my parents, but from my parents, like don't do something on a first date. I think I was taught to be a gentleman um so maybe that factors into it somewhere. But yeah about your parents rick to like respect and like obviously you're talking, I think what

were you taught like first night date ethics? No, definitely not taught first night date date ethics. But I think going into with what I was taught was be respectful, be nice, you know, treat the woman very you know, like a woman, and then you know, you know, then figure out what's going on in terms of what's the next move, right, I don't think I really I think personally I would always try to depending on how the

date goes. I agree with Dan, you know, you just kind of start putting your feelers out there and then is it going good? And you know what's the next step? You kissed? You, you know, you go to the bar the next time or or whatever, but and then see where that leads us. But um, I think going in that was something the way that I was brought up, and those were the things that that was telling me inside to not go have sex the first time. That

makes sense. Yeah, So Dr Harrianna, you guys remember dr V. DRV is wonderful And she commented on this post because we had this, we shared this on her how Many Things podcast community, and she said, if the chase is after a lasting, loving, intimate relationship, then sleeping together soon after meeting doesn't make a big difference. But if the chase is after sex, then yes, of course it will

make a difference because the goal has been met. So, UM, I agree with what Dmitri said, is I if I'm going on a date, I'm going after the chase of pursuing something longer term with this person. Um is how I would look at it. So I actually, like Demetri said, I actually I prefer it to be like maybe more of a traditional guy and that I don't think I would force it or even try to steer it that

way on night one. Um, just because in my own mindset, to be truthfully honest, in my own mindset, I'm like, just what you guys said, like how many other guys have she slept with on date one? Or is this is this the type of woman that I want to end up with. I have a question. Let's say we're all, you know, because we're all kind of on the same page. What if you get to that point at the end of the night and it's going around well and she

wants to take it. Would you, as a guy then go no, no, no no, no, I don't feel real good head first. Would you would you tell the lottery that you have enough money? No? You would? Are you guys being serious? I'll say, you really like this girl, would you would you actually go for it? Or would you um?

Would you out of respect and to maybe like with your values or like be like, I don't want to go there yet, you know, like you having a conversation where they're during dinner or when you're meeting of how many times have you had tex? Is that is that a differentiator? You're like, Hey, you know, look, I think if that's coming up, if you're having that conversation on the first date, I'm out. I'm like, okay, I don't want to be question. But then again, okay, let's be honest.

It says she's this gorgeous girl and you're and she says to you know, every guy is gonna go really it means double yeah, yeah, exactly, gonna Let's add here's another on a show or where I heard it. But it's like, if a girl tells you how many guys she's been with you, multiply it by three. And for a guy, if he tells you how many girls he's been with you, divide it by three. You guys ever heard that? Yeah, I could. I could see that I've

done what I've done. What Dan is saying you know you could a zero to mine, but you added to the beginning, not to the end. Okay, So UM, last touch point, last touch point on this because I want to move on. Um, because we actually have another guest coming in that's gonna help Rick with appending issue. Um. But what do you think my lasting point on this is? Um?

I don't believe I would pursue it truthfully on night one on a first date, UM, because my goal with the date is not such to just have sex with this person. My goal with the date would be to discover the person, be curious about the person and about what the possibility of of a partnership with this person could be. And so respectfully, I would keep a physical distance and not try and lead it that way. And

that's just my personal preference. Um. Even though the person might be insanely attractive and of course I want to get there, I think I would probably pump the brakes on that for a couple of days. You guys, Yeah, it's like you're idiot. Hey, Look, if I was a woman, I date you, That's that's the kind of guide one a date. UM. I just know I agree with you to a certain extent, but I'm also like a hundred years old. So I look at it this way. I don't know if I got tomorrow coming, but I got

today right now. So what you said, I think it has changed with the age too. Yeah, yeah, but definitely. But to that point, see, I wouldn't pursue it. If there was a connection and we felt that way, then I would probably I would probably do it. I mean, look around, like I said before, they're they're bigger things to to face. Life on the world around us is burning right now. I don't think having sex on the first date is the worst thing that someone can do anymore.

If you have that connection, fine, and if you find out later that I was a mistake and that's not somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you adapt from that. But to go in there saying this is this is a deal breaker. I'm not doing it because it's only the first time. This bigger fish tofright, I have one Look, but do you think this is I mean, this is how many things?

But do you think it makes that big of a difference to the woman if you were to back off and in her mind, if she's thinking I want to have sex with him, and you're like, no, is she thinking that okay, I respect him? Or is she going what's wrong with him? Um? Producer Tori, Tori, can you

answer that question? So say, say you're on a date with a guy to Tori and you're really vibing with this guy, You're really into him, and you're like, dang, I usually don't do this, but like, I'm really attracted to this guy and you want to take it physical that evening and he says, I'm just not comfortable with this. I actually want to I love that you're attracted to me, but like, I think we need a little more time till we get to that stage. What are your thoughts

on this guy? Then? That's so hot? Really? Yeah, that's sexy. Why is that? Because you gotta work for it and it's like you got some some backbone in you and you're not just like the guy that you just think is the cookie cutter guy. Now what if what if it doesn't make a difference. If he's doing that because he truly believes that and he wants to cherish a relationship, or is he doing that because that's kind of part of his game and he knows it's going to be

real sexy to you. It doesn't matter. It's still sexy unless it's like he's not attracted to you, then you could kind of maybe go there. But I think it's hot.

I know I have friends who have who are this is when I was younger too, This is like ten years ago, who were just like when you were twelve, who are just party as hell, and and they wanted to get out of that kind of thing of like pursuing sex on the first night where they would intentionally not shave their bits so that they were like, oh, I'm too embarrassed ab what was going on down there, So again I just can't have sex tonight. So that

was there. That was there, Like governor, to stop having sex on the first night, let me just say go ahead. I was just gonna say with then if if she asked, why not, would they just be honest and say, because I chose not to shave my bits. I don't even know if it worked, funny enough. That's that's the that's the original name of my autobiography called Unshaven Bits True. By the way, well, Tori, we tried our best there. Uh. Also, I also don't think you get any less horny or

the older you get. Let's just I totally agree with that. Yeah, I mean like I don't care if years still for Yeah, And the truth is to you and asked the first time you said, does it even cross your mind? As soon as you said that, my wife had just walked out of the kitchen with the coffee, and it crossed my mind. I have one more question I want to ask you guys, So, if you're not looking for sex in the first date, or maybe you are but doesn't work out, in is the societally acceptable night to have

sex where there's no judgment, no connotations like how Saturday? Saturday? How many? How many dating? Dating somebody? Um, according to your world's in perspective, is like an agreeable number to like to consummate physically, you know, to have sexual relations? Three three, It just seems like the right number. I don't even do do people even still think about that? Like, if you don't have sex on the first date, then are you gonna say, all right, well, it's like I'm

gonna stop drinking. Okay, how many days I don't know, But if you get to day two, that's like I can do day three. So when do you finally go like I need to at least wait. I think once the first date is gone and you don't have sex, then you just let the chips fall where they may. I mean it's like, is it do you then go? Okay, I've gotta wait until number eight, number five because do you honestly think so much is going to occur and those other three dates that will change something or I

don't know. I think if there's an attraction there and you've already given it one shot with the first date, then I think once you get past that first or second then it's like, then, yes, what's the difference? What what exactly are you counting to? And on the flip side, you could get to a point where like, oh, it's stay four and we haven't done it yet, and then you start adding pressure onto it and then it's not going to be you know, as fun or as natural

as it would be just to just to do it. Rick, what are you thinking? Brother? I think the second date is pretty legit. I agree with Dan though. I mean it's like, who's really counting? I mean, if you do the first date, cool, you set the groundwork. Now she's after you again, and it's like, what you know, if things are kicking off the right way, then to go ahead,

for go for it. I see what you guys are saying, because there's also a component of like, if you guys are vibing with each other, obviously there's enough of a vibe that you're on a second date. And if you're vibing with each other, you kind of know, like, hey, whether it's date three or date six, like this is probably gonna happen. Yeah, right, So doesn't matter, like you were saying, demti doesn't matter if it's two, or doesn't

matter if it's four. In in the scope of the relationship, probably it doesn't matter anymore other than just telling the story of what night you hooked up on, whether it was two or four. And who keep who are you keeping a score for? The fact of the matter is, if Date one bothers you, once you get to day two, you've already agreed that you like each other enough to go out again, So then don't who you keep a

score for? Just let the chips fall. Date one bothers me truthfully Date one, That's what I mean though, But once you're past that, you've agreed that you that there's something more there, so just let it on day two, three, four, or five six? What if you go grab coffee? What if you go grab coffee and then go for that, don't do it in a coffee shop. Now you're now

you're defining what the date is. So maybe maybe the first date is let's grab coffee, finish the coffee, and then I'll say tomorrow, and then okay, let's get thank you, and then you're going to dinner that night. Yeah, it's a Kenny ban your situation. Soup isn't a meal. That's not a date. We had soup. That doesn't count his date too. Um. Does anybody have any like horror stories of first dates from the past they want to share? No,

I'm perfect. I mean that's pretty good. No. My my current wife, I mentioned, we've been together since our first date. We were like and haven't separated since our first date.

That's awesome. So, Um, but that was we She lived in New York, I live in l A. We had spoken over the phone for hours at a time for a couple of months prior to it, and then I went to New York for work and I said, Hey, let's finally meet in person, and UM went out and and uh went out on the date that night, and then you know, a few months later she ended up moving quitting her job and moving to l A. Could you tell on that first date, like, I'm really into

this this girl, like this is this is different ours? Our relationship was weird. By the end of the night, we were at the bar on the rooftop of this hotel I was staying, and we were referring to each other as our husband and wife. Yeah, it was it was two people we were meeting, like, and it was just we knew we both knew right then, so that uh, and it was the first time I had experienced anything like that, and so yeah, I kind of knew right away.

It was just an immediate kind of connection that, yeah, exactly. And I think truthfully though, too, what really helped us was those phone conversations long distance, getting to know each other without you know, seeing her pretty face in front of me. It was just getting to know that person and sharing things with each other. So then when we finally did meet each other, it was almost like all that groundwork had been laid, you know, those first few dates,

phone dates out of the way, whatever. It's so when we did finally meet in person, it was like we already knew each other and knew so much about each other. M M, yeah, I get what you're saying there. Yeah, I remember. Wait, Brooks, have you had a bad first date? You brought that up. You must have one. UM. To be honest, I never dated much, truthfully, like I I've shared it on this show. From from twenty to thirty.

I was full. I was full weighted career pursuit of hockey UM that governed every decision in the course of my day. And I had no balance, no counterbalance of social life. So I've dated very little. UM. But the dates I did go on, I just remember this like

I remember it being so f and painful. I would get on a date and five minutes into the date I didn't like the girl, you know, and I'm like, oh, dear God, like all right, grinding here for another hour and forty five minutes or something when all I want to be home is resting because we play tomorrow. And now I'm grinding away on this date with this girl and it's just not going anywhere. I know I'm not gonna marry her. Just let me eat a steak and you know, kind of just have a nice conversation. Did

you ever create a situation to get yourself out of that? No? No, I did not. I have not. Just the other day, one of the best friends in l A said that her when she goes on a date, twice, she's had her roommate call him because she'll they have a code where he she texts him and that means call and then she's like oh, or he texts He's like, oh, something just happened with my dog, and then he calls her right away and on speaker phone. She puts it on speaker phone and he's like, hey, I'll let you

know that your dog is thrown up. Like what do I do about this? Right in the kitchen, it's like yellow, I don't know what I do. And then she's like ah, because then it's on speaker phone, right, it's not like, yeah, it's legit according to anymore. Yeah, yeah, I just I didn't say her name, so I haven't fully outed her. But she does have a dog. Um, but I've never pulled a stunt like that. Um. I think I would just grind it through and then go home. Yeah. Um yeah,

I don't know. I can't. I can't remember me and I didn't go on many dates. I think too. If you're if you're going creating a backup, like backup plan like that before you even go on the date, you probably shouldn't go on the date to begin this. Yeah, exactly, we're gonna come up with something that elaborate. And god forbid. She's out one night and the guy she's on the date with goes, well, actually I'm a veterinarian. It's like the episode of is there a Marine Biologist? Actually there's yellow,

that's just bio. It's fine, that fine, he probably ate some grass. Let's enjoy the rest of our meal. I'm happy to treat him. I'm more interested in the brainstorming session that's like, okay, now what if what colors? What colors the bile? Let's go with yellow. Yeah. Producer Tori, do you have any like horrific first date stories. I'm trying to think I don't have like horrific, but I've definitely had the dates where I'm like, please don't touch me,

please don't hold my hand. Um, oh, I do have one. So I was I've talked about it on another podcast before, but I went on a date with someone and we had like stayed in touch through college. He was at Stanford and I was here and he was like, hey, I'm like finally going to be in town. We had like talked for like kind of on and off for a long time. He's like, let me, can I take you to breakfast lunched in or whatever you want? I

was like, yeah, sure. It was before Father's Day, so I was like, I'll do let's do like a breakfast or later lunch. And we get to the table and we order food and like I got a latte, he just had water. And then we went to pay. And I am always the girl who like will offer to like lay a card down. I feel like that's the thing to do, which maybe you guys can comment on that. Is it attractive? Does it feel like I'm making it

a friend zone moon move? I don't know, um, but I laid my car down and then he just split it with me and I ordered or he ordered a latte and I had water, So technically I paid more for him because he had a drink and I didn't. What did that do for you? Were you? Like you asked? I was like, is this a date or is this not? But like we had like spent like a whole walk, like we spent an hour prior. Then we got lunch, and I was just like, yikes, I don't know what

this is. This is confusing. And then I but the more I talked to people, they were like, you friend zoned him by, or maybe he just thought you were an independent woman and wanted to be an independent woman. So he's like, I'm going to let her. If she wants paid for half, I'll let her pay for half. Maybe he felt he might insult you if he made you do that, because what happened, But what happened after that? Did he ask you out again? To point? Did he

ask you out again? Like we walked like I think he walked into my car, like we didn't kiss or anything. So I was like, I guess we're just friends. Like I'm so confused, and not saying that him not paying for a bill, it just it just made me more. I get it. The guy doesn't buy you water, you're not hey, I get it. We just call me your sugar mama. Here I am buying your lawte's ten bucks in l A. You know. So it's like, but in fairness, the waters are seven, so okay, so gent's uh first

date or do guys pick up the tab? Do you split? Is it the modern era where it's a split, right, Like what happens in the first date? Who's paying for that? Guys always do? I always and even like like I'll even go to have go to Starbucks with my wife and she'll be like, here, I'll treat it. Just for some reason, I don't know it bothers me. I'm like, just let me pay, like just I don't. I don't know what it is. But first date, for sure, you have to even if it's bad, even if you just yeah,

you have to pay even if it's bad. Maybe then that's another way to just be like, hey, at least I bought your dinner. It's fine. You know, it just didn't work out for me. I agree. I think that the one offer from the from the woman is nice. I would I don't ever in the past, I had never let that um you know, when I was single, I never let that deter me. I would always pay. I would always be the gentleman and pay no matter

what um. The offer was always nice. If it was a second offer or she insisted, then you start to get that friend zone field. But I think it signifies that it's an actual date. Yeah, if you if the guy pays, yes, yeah, I agree, has has um. This is just curious, Like Tori, what would happen if you go on a date with a guy and the check comes and the guy just chills. They're like, check comes, he doesn't reach for his wallet, he doesn't like grab it before you can grab it, like waiter, sets it

on the table, and the check just chills there. What would happen? Well, that's kind of what happened on this date. So I was like fiddling with my like wallet for a bit, like I was like, am I gonna this? Like? Am I gonna have an overdraft fee? Because I might? And I was like okay, and then I like laid it down and then he put his card on top of mine. So ladies fidget for a couple of minutes and hopefully he lays it first, and you're not in my situation. That happened last time. Last time I went

out for drinks with Rick. That happened, okay, And he didn't reach for it at all. I didn't even read my wallet. I knew it was going to be an easy one. Let's wall it up north and get out of persons. But I think that also goes to who invited who is. It's similar to like a client lunch, Like if you're taking out your client and he pulls out his credit card, she pulls out his creit. It's like no, no, no, like I got this, I invited you. This is what's going on, and I will pay you know.

I feel the same way with the date, like if you invited that person out or hey let's grab coffee. Okay, you buy the coffee or at least damn near offered to buy it. Unique question then, so because this doesn't happen as often, um, Tory, Let's say you ask a guy on a date. A woman asked the man on a date. Is she then expected to pay red? Uh? No, No, I think that he gets up to the gun. I lost it. Tory is gonna call me out. You start to a guys, so have to you see as Ricky's

dealing with a lot with his big toe and everything. Yeah, thanks, No, I mean I've like I've I've opened about this, I've like slid into d m s before. We're like, you've approached people, but I've never been like you me, let's go mm hmmm. So I've been asked out before and the girl said, well no, I mean you know, I asked, so let me get it. And I said no, no no, I said, you asked. That was step on to step two. Now this is my turn. Now I get to buy it.

So thank you? Well played good? Yeah? Yeah, And I think I think if the girl or whoever asks should pay. No, you just went literally literally just flip flopping. I feel like I'm on an on ramp in Los Angeles right now. Question for you because undoubtedly in your life you've been asked out by a girl. Oh no, come on, yeah, come on, Okay, So who pays? Well, I don't know. You get asked out? And I have always it's feel about that. Let's go with that. How do you feel

if the girl asks you out? Oh, if I like her, that's great. Yeah. I don't think that's an issue. The paying paying for the bill, I'm always I maybe it was just the way I was raised. It's like the man is supposed to pay so um. And also it's like I get I don't know, it's it's almost um um. If I'm not paying, I'd feel bad to like see a waiter, see the woman put her credit card down on me, just go alright, great, yesh. So even that

it just emasculates me. It's like, I just you know, I think the guy should always pay, even if the girl asks, ow, yeah, what if she like ordered surf and turf and that doesn't but then let me see, okay in the handbook, now you went, so you have to at least split it. That's it. It doesn't matter who you're with. I get uncomfortable even like if we were to if I were to go out with a buddy, right,

said Brooks. You and I go out and you get like a steak and a lobster, and I get like a cheeseburger, it's still uncomfortable to me to be like, well, I mean you had I will split that right down the middle, like there's just no haggling, Like it's it's very uncomfortable. That's that's j V. That's like college, Like I'm only on a strict budget, Like, dude, you got chicken in your brito, I got steak. I'm a story

for this my very first pro meal. So when I turned pro and we went out, we went to Philadelphia, playing the game in Philly, and we went out for supper as a team, and we had one guy on our team he had just turned pro as well. He's young guy had just turned pro as well. And you haven't got your paychecks yet, like you're I was making ninety buck every two weeks in junior hockey before I

turned pro, so like you're waiting for your paycheck. And the very first meal, he orders like a club sandwich, like a twelve dollars or we're at a nice restaurant, steakhouse something. He gets like a club sandwich or something whatever. It was ham and cheese, I don't know. And guys have the steaks, flaming yawns, wine coming, whatever, and then

the bill comes and everybody just divvyes it up. That's what the guys do, right, He says, twelve guys are out for supper here it's uh hunter bucks each and and he freaking loses his mind. He's like, what, like what, I don't had a freaking club sandwiches twelve bucks. It was his baptism to pro um, and he was pissed. His face was read. He probably had to take out a loan to pay for his supper that night. You know it would be great, ine, but see in hockey.

You know there's fighting in hockey. What would be great is if they would if he would have actually thrown hands at that point, like it would have been just like a hockey match where then he's like, you know what, I got a club sandwich and just starts hitting the guy next to him, and it's just the two of them. You gotta let him go. And then whoever takes the guy down, then it's like, Okay, pulls his button down

over his head, just started weiling on him. And then the local news that night as that scuffle broke out at the Master of steakhouse and I over a club sandwich. But hey, all of us have that guy in our friend group that are like that wants to divvy up and split a nine person meal. It's like, I just want my little segment and you can tell how they're

ordering too. Um. I had a buddy that used to carry quarters in his wallet, so if it came down to like fifty cents, he tossed in the fifty cents and it would make me soone comes out like just every So what I would tend to do is be like everybody just putting in what you think you will and then I'm gonna pay the rest because it was so uncomfortable to me. Would you at quarters at that point? Yeah, this is still going on with these guys. It's gonna

be like years ago, right, hopefully. We also had one guy on our team who every meal he would put it on his credit card and just take cash from the other guys every single time. Every single time he would put he's like, I got a boys put on his credit card. The other guys will pay him eighty bucks cash whatever. It was. End of the year, he had like just thousands and thousands of frequent Flyer mars,

like just he could fly all summer long. He was just on a countrywide tour flying first class just courtesy of what he put on his credit card for the boys meals over the year into a gambling rehab. This guy quite posibly. Isn't this nice to sit around and talk about when we used to go to restaurants in large groups? Right? So joining us now we Dr Neil Bart, Are you with us? Neil, I'm I'm here, I'm here. I appreciate coming on the show, my friend. You know what I've of all of the of all of the

shows we've ever done. Reading your bio was like, like Dan's bio was huge, but reading your bio was like thirty pages. And I'm like, this guy, how is he a doctor and a producer like Harvard grad and all of this stuff. And I've always been as as an athlete and ex athlete, I've always been fascinated by people who can cross over into multiple industries. And so your your medical background is exceptional, but then what you've done

in the entertainment world is equally as exceptional. So I look at you with just admiration, my friend, and I appreciate you being on the show. Thanks a lot. I used to come on right before us when you were on Veronica's Closet and I was doing e ER. So I've been following you for years. Yeah, Dan was on Veronica's Closet. Dan, Yes, Dan, Sorry, I was looking at Dan up here. Yeah, we're all looking at that. It's a handsome not the truth. So Dr Neil, we have

a question for you. Rick's got a little bit of a health issue going on um that he's been gracious enough to open up and share with our our community and our listeners, and and thank you for taking the time. First, we want you to look at him and guess what's wrong with him that. Sorry, go ahead, Dr Neil will here to help. We're here to help Rick, and I'm gonna read you just uh some text messages here, UM and the guys. We're gonna get your opinion on why

guys are kind of terrified of the doctor. The doctor. Um. But here's the text message from Rick's phone. Uh, says e K G is all good, no issues, she thinks gout on foot, but signed me up for a fluid pole, which I'll probably cancel. It sounds horrible. Blood pressure is normal. I'm just not getting enough sex, she said, uh, and in the response was dude, get the flipping fluid pole. This is a how men think episode. Women get mammograms, epidurals,

twenty whoms of blood drawn for each pregnancy. I mean, come on, do it now, everything about your situation and you're getting a colon exam this year, just trying to protect you. And yes, I agree, not enough six, not enough six just just yeah, thank you Brooks. This is this is a text message between myself and my wife right right, here's the contract. But whoever it was with? Um,

so what is this issue with gout do you have? Um? Um? So, I about a month ago, I woke up going on a fishing trip with my son up in Oregon, and I woke up in my my left big toe just started hurting and I wasn't walking right, and I just took a bunch of ivyprofen, got in the car. We went on the whole fishing trip, and it just progressively

got worse as we moved along. And so I called a buddy of mine and I was actually one of the guys, said, you know, I think you may have gout like I had it in my finger and said it was just this extreme paine and it absolutely. He's like, are you eating red meat and drinking beer and and all that? And I and I really don't drink all that much, but I do eat a lot of a lot of steak and ribs and things. Um, and I have been a little bit more so since COVID. But um,

liver do you eat liver? And oregan? No? Higher? And yeah, like cholesterol side of it in the problems that cause gaped, but the crystallization, yeah, yeah, um so you can. Do you drink a lot of water? I drink a ton of water A ton of water. Yeah, so you know, I think I'm all in favor of So it could be gap, but it's only you've had it once. I've only had it once. And through the trip We've gone for about a week and it just got worse and

worse and worse. And I couldn't even get I wear like van slip bombs for the most part um and I couldn't even get my foot into the into the vans to do when I was bobbling around. It was really it was swollen but not read. And you know, I started googling it what was gout and they said it's very red and it looks super ugly, and so I'm like, maybe it's knocked out. And I called a friend and they said that it was meta for metator soul filia or something along those lines. So yeah, it

could be. It could be a lot of different things. So I'm I'm always a believer in you know, when you have a problem going to a physician or a physician assistant or a nurse practitioner and having a work up. I did an episode once on The R where No Wiley's character spent thousands of dollars because he was afraid of missing something and and he he ended up finding something so rare in this patient it paid off. But typically we're not supposed to do that. It's like it's

called shotgunning. The patient shot and the patient. But but you know, in your case, when was the last time you had a physical exam and a full workup of you know, blood, all the blood tests that you know, testosterone that gets into the issues of sex because if you have a low testosterone level, that can be addressed. So I got your age, should you know, probably have this testosterone checked and have a complete blood work up and uh yeah, even so, and uh he was just

flexing in a plaid shirt like I don't know. And also, you know, it's been interesting for me during COVID is that, um, I stopped eating sugar, which I love, So I love sugar. So I stopped for the last three months, and I feel a lot better. And I usually think it's kind of you know, crap that people say that, but I really do sleep better and I really do feel better and I have more energy. So I have had literally no sugar. I like, look at labels and all that.

So I'm I'm, I'm do you drink soda. Yeah, okay, I each your class. I'm glad. I'm glad I asked you. So. I just thought, of course, at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government called soda politics, and I love it when somebody says they drink soda, because then I can scare the hell out of them and say there was a study done of men who drink one sweet and soda a day and it had an end or the number of

participants was in tens of thousands. Was published in the journal Cardiology, and it showed that men who drink one sweetened soda day one soda is sugar, not diet soda, had increase in heart disease. So if you do anything besides there's two things. As a physician, I recommend don't smoke cigarettes because we just know it takes years off

your life. And two, don't drink soda. Drink water because there we have so many studies now that show that is harmful for men and women, but it's particularly harmful for men. What we think happens is that um, the high fruit toast corn syrup in the soda um, when you consume it goes directly into your bloodstream. It causes fatty liver and also the liver processes to hide fruit toast corn syrup in such a way that it raises

your triglycerides. So if you could do some things to improve your health, you know, without really like harming your lifestyle, I would say the first thing to do would be to not drink soda and cut Sure, you know you don't have to cut all sugar out of your life, but just not drinking soda has a huge impact on people i've seen. Dr Neil. Thank you for your time. I appreciate we'd love to have you back sometimes. Thanks. Sorry, get your tested Yeah yeah, I know, the big old

needle out. Anyway, Dan, I appreciate your time. Worries, this is a good time. Get me into uh, give me into your book. Here this I'm being like a karate kick. They're coming off the cover because yeah, that's the actual book. It's called. It's called Step Off My Journey from Membo to Manhood, And I'm gonna cut you off real quick and then you can get back to it. My fav the title is my favorite because people know Dan from whatever you know, uh from uh MTV uh and all that.

But anybody that hasn't figured it out. Yet he is Tony, the male membo from Seinfeld clients take iconic episode, and he kept the famous line was step off. So anyway, I'm sorry that the title alone sells well and even where how we came up with that. I was approached to write the book, and I'll make this quick. I was approached to write the book, and this guy that approached me to write it kept saying I wanted to be Dan. I wanted to be more Dan. I wanted to be positive. I wanted to be so, I said,

I don't you know. We had never met in person. We had spoken on the phone a few times. I said, I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I want to know, like, what do you think I would be like in Purse? And because you keep saying you wanted to be more Dan, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. And he said what he had asked around the publishing house, he goes in as a whole, we kind of think you'd be a lot like the character you played on Seinfeld. And then he went on

to say all these nice things about me. But all I heard is Dmitri said, all I heard was he called me a membo, a male bimbo, and that's all I heard. So as he was saying all these other flattering things, I said, I'll write the book. I want to write the book. And he's like, why, it's because I think there's so much more to me than that. So but I told him, I said, I want the title to be my journey from Membo to manhood. So look,

I hope that's what achieved. I achieved throughout the story, because I even right in the introduction, if this it's Membo to manhood, I hope If it's just Membo two older Membo, that wouldn't be good. We just need to make sure that we get to the manhood part um.

But it was it was really um. Just writing it was a cathartic experience for me because like as guys, you know, it's I wanted it to be sort of this journey of taking my life as a as a puzzle, tearing it all apart, and then taking the stories that really seemed inconsequential that for some reason, I remember this Little League story from when I was ten, I don't know why, and I sort of took all those stories from my life and sort of pieced it back together

to see if that puzzle still looks the same that I think it does, because I said, truthfully, the way I think of myself, the way other people think of me, and the way I think other people think of me are three entirely different things. So I at least want to know I am who I am by the end of this. So that's sort of the And the book's broken down into three parts, my foundation, fame, and fatherhood.

And I was telling somebody the other day, so truthfully, the hardest part for me to write was the fame part, because the publishers wanted, we want stories about being an actor, and I was like, I'm not going to sit there and write, well this one time when I was on the set with Curts the alley we did, I didn't want it to be that, so you know, I tried to And another thing I told them also, each chapter I'm writing it basically for guys, I don't want to

read a chapter that's longer than five pages, like, let me be able to read that at five And so my chapters are short. They're anecdotal stories about this point in my life. This got me to this, and it's let's put a little bow on the end of you know, every story, and here's what I learned from it. So um, it was a lot of fun. It was a great

cathartic experience. And yeah, there's some there's some Seinfeld story and there the whole Even the way I got that gig, I got a call from my manager who then said it's when I was working for MTV, said, Larry uh David and Jerry Seinfeld want to meet with you. They they I thought I was auditioning for the show was my favorite show at the time. So I go in and it was in the afternoon that afternoon and they're sitting in there, just the two of them, and so, okay,

this is great. We sit there and shoot for ten fifteen minutes, and then I was like, what my do you guys have sides? What do you want me to read? And Larry just goes, no, I just need to see if you can put two words together. So we'll see you tomorrow. We're starting tomorrow. And so that was sort of how that. I was like, Okay, so I got

the job. They're like, yeah, you got the job, so um, and but what a what a great experience that was, And just you know, to meet your as what you know just from working with comedy pros, like when you get there. There was no ego there. That was Larry's whole thing and Jerry as well. They just wanted whatever's funniest,

say it, whatever's funniest, just do it. And if they had told me a story about there was one episode of Seinfeld where the episode where Jerry couldn't remember his girlfriend's name, but he remembered it rhymed with a female body part and he couldn't remember, couldn't remember, and the writers were having trouble coming up the joke wasn't landing, so on the in front of the odysse at night, couldn't come up with the so the warm up guy had asked the honest, does anybody have a joke that

maybe they could use her? What's a what's a female name that rhymes the body part? And some guy in the crowd said mulva and the crowd erupted and laughed, and Larry said that use that, Okay, writer, stop writing, just use that, And I said it's funny. I told my wife again. You know there's some guy like at a bar in Milwaukee that sits at the end of the bar. You know that episode that was me came up with that, I was Mova, that was my idea.

That's the that's the brilliance of it, though. They that's why the show was so successful because they do you want the best. When the egos get involved, then it's like, well, now you're not going for the best product, You're just going for the best. Congratulations. And you know, luckily because that episode, the one, the one when you were on you stole a lot of scenes in that in that and so when people reference that episode, they're all referencing you the and and you know what, I had no

clue what the hell I was doing. Sometimes, I mean I even and I've never really told anybody this other than my wife. I watched that episode. Sometimes when I see it a rerun and I cringe, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so bad. This was so bad. And people I'll meet people that are going, oh, the way you created the character and I was just trying to remember the lines. That was the first. That was the first sitcom m I had ever done. I've done dramas before,

but that was the first sitcom. And of course I'm working with the the uh, you know cast of Seinfeld. I was so nervous. It was just like so you know. And the weird thing about that too, that show, for the longest time was one of their highest rated shows, and that I would always tell people it was because of me, but it was apparently nothing else was ever on after that. It wasn't until like their super Bowl episode that for some reason that that sort of stayed

up there. But yeah, you do an episode of sign for when like the show I did for MTV for six years, when our first two years we were there number one show in the world's seventy two countries, and people, would you know, they'd recognize me. The day after the Seinfeld episode aired, I was in Hollywood for a cast physical for shows doing in Vancouver and I got recognized walking out of the doctor's office to my car. Some

guy yelled and called me a membo. I said, it's the difference between the power of network television and the number one show on television and basic cable percent. And that's why I interrupted you before, because if you were to say step off to somebody right now, that is exactly where their mind will go. They're like, oh, step off.

Oh I gotta make some people of sandwiches. They'll stot just rattling off random lines from that episode, and then those two words, which is why it's a perfect title. Those two words bring people straight to that well. And the weird thing with that too was they had they had a line because I've been given credit for writing that line step off. I didn't write it. I didn't go to Larry David and say I want to a

line change. It was the guy in the audience. They had a joke that wasn't landing, and then they were trying to come up with something. So then Larry asked me, he goes, you were like twenty three, you work on MTV. What do you what would kids your age say? And I don't even that was like the second or third thing I said that I said was step off. And then Jason Alexander said it with his George Costanza you know New York accent, and the crew laughed. So then

Larry was like, yeah, just say step off. That works. Wow, these these little stories are so cool awesome. Yeah, that's all I got. Those are the only two stories I got. It's only four bags, dude. One quick question, because I've I've been asked about possibly doing a book. Um, and had a conversation about it, and off, do you think that's good? Um? What did you learn about yourself in doing the book? Oh so much? And I'm not just

saying that it's you should do it. If you have the opportunity to do it, you should do it, because you know, you make your notes. Here's okay, here's what I want the book to be. Here's what But it sort of takes a life of its own. And um, as I said, it's it's anecdotal stories about my life, where I where I came from, and who I've become. But it it almost, at least for me, almost took on a spiritual thing in the third portion of the book for me and talking about parenthood and my life

and and who I've become now. And I didn't really initially plan on that to me, um, when I first started out writing the book, but I sort of you got into this and saw what journey it was taking me on. So you know, if nothing else, I mean, even if you're not going to publish it, do it because you learn a lot of stuff about yourself. If you're gonna be completely honest with the readers and yourself

to write it, um. And I think that's the only way to do it, because then if not, then you're just like, Okay, well what stories should I right now? And you're trying to be um, but you know it's to me too. I in reading a book that you would write, I'd want to hear all those stories that I don't want to hear about when you scored a game winning goal and oh then we what did you know? You want to hear all those other nuances that people wouldn't know about. And um, sook a little bit that

I've dug into it. It is and I've done I've done presentations for sportsmen's dinners and stuff like that. When I do the presentations of like my hockey journey. Um, there's certain things that I learned that I never knew just in like you said, taking little segments of your life, and when you line these up, you're like the first one I did, I'm like, holy, I learned I was I was responsible for very little of my success. Yeah,

I was like, oh my god. The people that have touched my life from the age of thirteen, fifteen seventeen, nineteen twenty four, all of these people down this list have all elevated me in some way that I'm like, I'm not anywhere without all of these people, Like I'm responsible for ten percent of my success. So in doing your journey, if even and somebody to even just encouraged me to do it. A friend encouraged me to do it.

Sit down and write your book to understand yourself, and then if you want to publish it or you want to do something with it, do it. But just the process of sitting down to write that you'll really find a lot and learn a lot about yourself. So that's why I asked that questions you should and you touch upon people that are responsible for it. I even get to that in the book where it's my brother, My oldest brother, he's ten years older than me, went out one night. He likes to go out as much as

any everybody, but doesn't. He's more of the like, I'll stay home, doesn't really drink. That one out one night when I was still in high school, to a bar he'd never been in before in our hometown and hasn't been in since, and saw a guy he went to high school with. That guy said, what's going on with the family? He said, Oh, Dan's a quarterback for the high school. He goes, oh, I'm a graduate assistant coach at University North Carolina. Haven't sent a tap there. I

send the tate the University of North Carolina. I get recruited. I got a University of North Carolina. My senior year in North Carolina, I meet a producer from MTV because Janet Jackson was in concert there. I keep that guy's card. I moved to l A after graduation. Call that guy. He hooks me up with a person in l A working for MTV. That in turn, I start working as a p A at MTV. I'd hand in the treatment for MTV Sports. I'm the host of MTV Sports the Resident,

and I always saw my brother. I'm like, if you never went to that bar that night and saw Phil, Like, what journey? What would have happened with me? You know, entire journey culminated with being on the How Men Think podcast? Exactly if your brother doesn't go to the bar, we're not sitting here today. That's right, that's right, we are. We are the cherry on top. I can tell you Dan, when you said it's a it's a journey of self exploration,

exploration Brooke. I mean, you couldn't pick better keywords for Brooks. His eyes lit up as soon as we sign off. Now he's gonna take out his typewriter, slacking all the thing started. But I'm telling Dmitri the fact that you even said typewriter is beautiful. I did that on purpose. I'm trying to make fun of you for being in like a log cabin. Uh. Dan, I appreciate your time on your insight. Thank you so much, Thanks so much.

Where can our community find you? Where do you spend most times social social media at Dan Cortez on Instagram and Twitter. Um, you can go. I have a website. This you guys appreciate this. The website, though, is the Dan core Tes dot com. Not didn't Cortes dot com not because it's not available. It is. I didn't want

to pay grand for it, so that Dan Cortes. I'm paying a dollar ninety nine a month for the damn Cortes that I told you I'd give it to you for twenty there like a big deal when you have the in front of it, you know, or just I'm saving a hell of a lot of money, So I'm doing that instead but yeah, I'm on the social there and then you know, order the book on Amazon where everybody you can go through the website. But I'm pretty active,

you know. But it's funny because I've had people even talk to me about my Instagram go, yeah, it's dude, really exciting to post pictures of your baby and your kids and your wife and sunsets. I'm like, yeah, what are you supposed to? No selfies? Are you know? No selfies? I got nothing, nothing really good? What do you say though that the book? I'm like, I'm telling people the book is like you're gonna learn a lot about Dan reading it and cool stories like that, but it's it's

it's actually more than that. And as he was saying, like the self exploration and stuff like that, you're gonna learn stuff about yourself and you're gonna you're gonna think. It's gonna make you think about other things. It's not just I want to read about Dan or I don't want to. There's a lot in it um and so I yeah, I recommend it to anybody, but I appreciate that de Maitri And you know what, truthfully to that was important for me was I didn't want to write.

It's not a tell all. I don't want to write a book just about me. I even told them. I want to write something that I hopefully think readers can relate to and sort of see their own lives within it and maybe see similarities there with certain things they're going through. So thank you. I appreciate that super cool books called step Off. Grab a copy for it. Um My man, I appreciate you. We'd love to have you back. Yeah, and uh, I wanna just hear more from you at

another time about co hosting and host hosting. We'll talk about that. But we also need to have Dr Neil back. And we should have asked him about having sex on the first date. Come on, he did it. He did it for sure, Yeah, totally, he's a doctor. Come on, one of those e er stories, are you kidding? As soon as he dropped, as soon as he dropped a clooney nuggets, Yeah, it's done deal. I appreciate all of you guys and our listeners. I appreciate all of you

guys as well. That Brooks. I'll come help you with your book as soon as I'm writing a book. From the opinion from the view of Rick's Big Toe so when I'm done with that, I'll come up to where you're having. Yeah, have you seen Rick. He's been laid back in that chair the whole time. On the guys, I appreciate you, Dan, I appreciate you. I love to

have you back on some time, my friend. So until next week, everybody, take care of one another, love one another, and we'll see you back here for another episode of How Many