Erotic Blueprint

Thank you? Okay, Well, here's the thing. Last week, at the end of the show, we had Ryan's friend. Ryan proposed a situation that his friend was going through and we had an enormous response and out just an outrageous amount of emails about what to do in this situation. So, Ryan, can you tee up for anybody that didn't listen to the last episode, can you tee up the scenario? Scenario? And then we're gonna give our response to what we think we would do in that. So they should go

back and listen to the last episode. Wait, wait, well done, You're a better salesman than I and pause. Yeah, So what is the scenario and then we'll give our response. So the scenario is a buddy of mine um he and his now wife were having a lot of trouble

to conceive. They've gone through two rounds of IVF. She was previously married uh, and after the second failed round of IVF, she said to him, look, I really want to start a family with you, and we've gone through two rounds of IVF and we're unsuccessful and I'm, you know, getting older, and I don't know if it's ever going to happen. I don't biologically, I don't know if it's in the cards for us. But I have a solution,

hear me out. The solution is my ex husband and I went through IVF as well, and I have three viable embryos on ice with his sperm that I could implant tomorrow and we could have a baby together and raise that baby as our own, the only copulation being it will be my ex husband's sperm and technically his baby. And there's resentment for the X right from the current husband. There's resently does not like this guy. Yes, exactly right, I mean yes, yes. So a lot of people weighed

in right because with a ton of emails. So we had a ton of emails, and everybody the over overwhelmingly, I shouldn't say everybody overwhelmingly people said no. They could not get to the point of like, because we asked the question, if you were that guy in this relationship, would you say to your wife, yes, let's take the embryo from you and your ex and implant and try and get pregnant that way, And overwhelmingly you guys responded with no. What do you what is your what is

your feeling on the situation? What would you guys do? My feeling is what I started. What I said a little bit at the last the end of the last episode was um, you know, there's a lot of kids that that need home. So I think you look at adoption if this is a real problem. But what I think is the bottom line when it comes to is there's nothing more incredible than the feeling of being a dad. Okay, so it sounds like these two really want to be parents.

I say, figure out what's best for you. Whether that's adoption, I don't. What I will say is, if you're going to use these embryos from a from a man that you have resentment towards you have to make sure that you're okay with it because once that baby is born, that's your baby and you cannot have any of those feelings towards that baby. Well that you really got to think this through, is what I'm saying. So you have

to be a d percent sure before you do this. Okay, But here's the thing, Like I said, people are people become Um, you know stepfathers two kids that are that are from someone else, and they they love them and they they accept them, whether they like the father or not. So it can be done. But what I'm saying is you look at adoption and you figure out and if this is what you want to do, then you do it and you be and you be the best parent that you could. Difference with the stepfather of it all

is is there no choice, no choice? This is a choice to get Yes, but yes, I agree, but this you're being presented with a situation where you have a choice and you're being asked are you okay with this? And so he struggled with this exact thing, which is his wife laid out everything on the line said, I want in my life, I want to be able to have my own child. Adoption is not really what I want.

And while that's an option for some people, I want to know that I have my my son or daughter is my own biologically, and then I've given birth to this child and that it is my own, and so do not take that from me. We have an option and it just happens to be my ex is sperm and our embryo, but like, we will raise this baby as our own. And he felt so conflicted because he said, well, if I don't allow her this, she's going to resent me. But if I do allow it, I'm going to resent

her and potentially the child. So it's a zero sum game. There's going to be resentment from either side. So how how do you proceed? So okay, here's one thought on this. They've tried IVF twice, I believe, right, Could they go around for one more shot at IVF? Could they do it one more time? I know you, I said last time she had fears that she wouldn't be able to do it. But like they've tried twice, I get that,

but try one more time. Maybe. By the way, there are situations where let alone that, there are situations where people are told they can't have a baby, they do and then they have a baby. Nts like things can can It's a lot. I say that. I say that having been through IVF with my wife, knowing that it's financially expensive, and it's a lot as far as your time and your energy and what it puts a woman's body through. It is a massive undertaking. So anybody listening

it says, oh, it's easy to just say that. No, I understand what it's like to go through it. So I say that, knowing fully what it's like to go through IVF, but a shot to have a baby together, maybe try it one more time. But here here's the question. If it was you, Dmitri, there's no political answer here, yes or no, Like, could you say yes to your wife in that situation take the embryo from the X and implanted I don't. I don't know that I could. I honestly, it would depend on on me knowing this

other person. But if it was just straight up generic resentment towards this other guy, I would I would have a problem knowing that I was bringing someone into the world based on that, and and and my feelings would be conflicted. I if I had to give a quick answer, I would say no, Ryan, I would say no. And by the way, I don't think that makes either of us a bad person. I think that's just the honest truth.

Like we're human beings, and if we're gonna look at that kid and constantly be constantly be reminded of an X that we're not fond of, then I don't think that's unfair. But that's just the honest truth. I I as well, would say no. I don't think I could get there. And as much as I and I mentioned this on the podcast last week, as much as I would love to see a representation of my wife in a child, to see those qualities and to imagine if the child looks like your wife, even like how cool

would that be? Um, I just don't think I could get past the fact that it's an embryo with an X and that there's resentment between me and that man already whatever. I just don't see myself getting there. So in the current position, I would say no, and I would say try. I would like to try IVF one more time, and if it doesn't work, I would look at so I'll talk to at all. It all shipped up, which is wow. He he said exactly what all of us would have said, which is, really, I love you,

but I can't. I cannot do it. I'm sorry, and I don't want that to ruin our marriage, but like I can't. If I'm being honest, I can't it. She was upset by that, admittedly, but they came to an agreement, was like, we will do it one more time. Go have you have one more time. She went to a different fertility doctor in Colorado, the leading guy in the nation, and got come on, really, yes, Wow, is that amazing? It's amazing. Wow. Didn't they know what they having boy

or girls? So they just literally, like two weeks ago, had a girl. Come on, dank, So we didn't know that. Wow. That fires me up, man, because you know why, So this is why that really fires me up. My wife and my wife. I'll give her credit because she was the first person that I heard that said this and I adopted it on the spot. She said no is not an answer. Will always find a way, and she applies that in her business, in her career, in her life. She says, no is not an answer that I will accept.

I will always find a way. And these two did that. You know, they could have went that way and it could have caused who knows what that would have caused in their relationship, but they just they I just love it. They dug in and they found a way to do it together. And now that baby is their own. That fires me up. I love that. Welcome everybody. My name is Brooks, like and this is how men think. Right now.

We are missing our buddy in studio, Mr Gavin de Gross so I cannot introduce him right here, but we've got Ryan Rick and Dmitri fear not, fear not. Gavin will be on later. Should have a moment to do. We need a smile like Gavin does every time he gets. Will be checking in from the road. Thanks Brooks. It feels good to be I'm smiling, you know. I'm happy every day. Had a good meal before it got here where I ordered a shrimp cocktail at a steakhouse. I missed him, though, I miss what We are going to

call him. He's out on tour. Fantastic performer, so we're going to touch base with him. Kind of upset that we're not on tour with him right now. So I don't know, maybe maybe do we even call him or do we cut him from this show? Oh never, how dare you to my tree? And Gavin had a little bit of a romantic adventure in lake talk. I don't

know what romantic is that. Well, actually it was pretty romantic. Well, we had some downtime, there was other stuff going on, and you know, we're just looking around and Gavin said, it's such a beautiful area, isn't it? And um? And I said yeah, And I normally don't fall for this, but he said, do you want to go for a drive? And I was like and I giggled like a schoolgirl and I was like, I think I do. Yeah, I

felt good. Yeah, So we drove around the lake and then he did the old well this is look how beautiful. Let's pull over and then get out and take pictures. And again I was like, not something I normally do, but sure. But so what happened was we just got out and looked. It was actually a very beautiful, um scene. But what I His dog Buddy was in the car too, and I think he was mad because I got the front seat. So when we got out, we got back

in and Buddy had taken my seat. Oh no, And at that point I was like, okay, well, Buddy, I know this is your car. But I can't go back. I can't go back to camp and be riding the back seat with your upfront because I'm gonna look like I don't know if I can say bitch, but that's what I'm gonna look like. So um So we compromised. I got in the car, we put you know, Buddy got down on the floor, and then I got there,

and then Buddy jumped up on my lap. So every stoplight we stopped at, everybody's looked over and saw Gavin, myself and Buddy on my lapt and I'm gonna be honest, I think we look pretty cute. I have a I have a burning question. I don't know this whole time. This has been in my mind. What music did he play for you? It was weird he played all his music. No, I'm just kidding, Um, you know, I don't know. I don't know that there was music playing. And then we

just had the windows down, smelling the Tahoe air. Deep conversation, Yeah we were. We were talking was like real good eye contact. I mean it was made it dangerous, but yes, he did keep we kept making eye contact, and I was like, should you be looking at the road. But it was, um, there was no it was. It was

actually a very nice ride. And I got to know, um, a little bit about Gavin, a little bit about Tahoe because I had never been to Tahoe, and um, you know, Rick was was warming up because he was he was swimming the next day and he was. He spent the whole weekend in a speedo, which I thought unnecessary. I want to channel my inner Gavin right now. Let me ask you a question. Is his car stick shift or an automatic? Hypothetically speaking if the car broke down? Um, no,

I'm having fun with it. We did have a nice time though, Yeah. Uh, here's actually we we had a whole nice time the whole weekend. Right, it was fantastic. Yeah, thank everyone for supporting and it was it was a blast. How did you do? Great race? We did well? Yeah, the weather was perfect. Team buil everybody in on what she could just competed in. Yeah. So we just finished the Trance Tahoe Race, which is a twelve mile race

across Lake Tahoe. There's six people participate Pinson. It's a relay race, so everybody swims a half an hour and then after you do your first half hour, you go increments of ten minutes until you finish. Uh. It was eighty degree day. There was no wind, so the lake was perfectly flat. We started off. We ended up finishing sixty three out of two hundred and sixty seven teams. I think it was total UM six in our age bracket. So we were we were pleased with the results. It

was it was exciting. Lady I did not mind the speedos at all. Enjoyed saw the photos. It looked like the water must have been cold. It's definitely cold, but putting everybody else down to make yourself feel better. We dubbed it um I will say though I was on the boat, I was kind of would you call me an honorary team? Uh oh yeah, yeah I was. I was ready to jump in, you know, for anybody that could not finish for any reason. Um I did not have a speedo, but um Amy said the speedos were

not bad. You were not on a boat with with six of them just staring at you, just for those of you that aren't watching, so I can't see. She just hit her mouth on the mic because I wanted to say I wish I was question for you. Rick in a thirty minute swim. It's a twelve mile race in a thirty minute swim. How far would you swim in thirty minutes? I we did not measure it, but I estimated we'd probably swam about a mile and a half. I have each half each, so each partner did thirty minutes,

so that's six times through. And then how many increments of ten minutes did you do? I had to do three ten minutes after that, so yeah, um, but I started the race, So basically the race starts started at seven fifty am. They dropped me off around seven. I sat on the beach for a while I had closed on and then you put your clothes in a bag and then the sponsorship brings it over to the end

of the race and you grab your clothes after. But the beginning of the race is kind of hectic, like there's everyone's jumping in the water at one time, everyone's running. It's cold. It was was a gorgeous David. We're on the east side of the lay and so it's still shadow. The sun hasn't come up yet, water is cold, and I was heading around the first booie and I think I got like either altitude sickness, or maybe it was the three fingers rum the night before. I'm not sure

you heard drinking the night before. We had a couple of SIPs. Yeah, just a couple of SIPs. It's like, tin cup, It's like, what do you think I should do? Like, you gotta get drunk, you always play better. We're talking about it because I was like, because obviously I was drinking the night before because I didn't have to, you know, as an alternate, you don't really have to. Um. But then I was like, I was actually surprised at how much these guys were drinking. But I wasn't gonna be like, guy,

should you stop? Because then I would have been drinking alone, and that's an awkward feeling. UM. I will say, all joking aside, you guys were you did a phenomenal job. Like all the jokes I'm making about the speedos and is that you guys were in there and you were swimming and it was pretty impressive swimming through that that lake? Was it what you say? It was twelve miles? I was impressed, and I have to tip my captain. You'll see pictures I was in the boat drinking beer, is

cheering them on, So maybe I was. It was it was you guys did a great job. It was impressive, Thank you, It was. It was great to see like every time you would you would turn and stroke and breathe. Dmitri on the boat like sipping his Coors Light, and it was like, oh, okay, just another nine more minutes until we get to have one of those. For anybody that hasn't or isn't a swimmer, try swimming thirty minutes straight in a lake that as hard as hell. Yeah,

minutes straight in a pool and front crawl the whole way. Canadian. So Dan, Yelle and I would love nothing more than to hear you guys talk about swimming the whole time, But instead we'd rather know how long do you wait to have sex with someone that you have just begun dating? Did you meet somebody you mean like asking for a friend. It actually is from a listener, Okay, listener questions after the race or before the race, the night before. There's a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot

of theory behind that. Save your legs, don't do it. Let me ask you that on that topic, did you abstain from sex before NHL games? Like was there a policy team wide? It's like night before game, guys, there was never a policy. No, you're grown man, you can do what you want. There's grown men with families, wives, kids. Just you're in control of your careers. Show up and your performance is going to reflect your preparation usually. So I never had anything like that, was single most of

my life. So, um, I wasn't really doing much. And you already admitted that after the games you would go and work out, So clearly you weren't getting much before the games because you had so much energy even after. I just have a lot of energy in general. Brother, So let's focus. So here's the question. Is the success of the relationship determined in any way by how long

you wait? Do you know what I mean? Like, you know how some women, Oh I made him wait for three months and then he married me, you know what I mean? This is seriously a question from her, and then she also wants to know this might be a lot of inn formation, but did you wait longer with your wives than maybe a previous relationship. Well, so you're asking, like when you're first dating somebody, that's what you're asking. How long how long do you wait to have sex.

How long do you wait to have sex? I mean you want you don't care about what you do want want or like, I mean like the guy you want to like I did it right there? Right? I mean I mean right, isn't what you want to hear? Right? Like, yeah, we want to have sex that night if she's ready to go. But see, I think it depends on what I think it depends on what you're expecting or what you want from that situation. If it's like obviously you're saying, yea guy wants to have sex all the time, so

first aid he'd like to have sex. But in my you know, in my opinion, it's like, all right, if this is someone you can see spending, you're gonna have that Like, oh, she just had sex right away? So is that something that affects you? I I agree with

what he's saying. So when you meet somebody that you have a an intellectual connection with an emotional connection with, um something Because you meet somebody that you're physically attracted to, and then you meet somebody else that you're intrigued by, and when you meet that person that really intrigues you. From a man's standpoint, I think it's actually more enjoyable

to not rush to the physical. Um, because you, as Dmitri said, you probably see this person, you see yourself with this person long term, so you don't want to know, oh, we just hooked up on the first night. You kind of want to have according period there. This is from my my life anyway. In my standpoint, you want to have a cording period where it's maybe one to three dates, um,

whatever it is before you get really physical. Uh, and it's actually a really exciting time versus rushing right to it and then oh yeah, yeah, maybe that you haven't learned this person enough, or maybe that just tarnishes the the intrigue a little bit. That's so I found yeah, being respectful also because if you if you really appreciating our intrigued by this person, you want to respect them and you're probably not going to push those boundaries right

out of the blocks. And that's that's the way I feel. That's a preference. But um, I'm it doesn't mean it doesn't work. Like I do have friends that that hooked up, slept together on the first date and they're happily married, they have a bunch of kids and and things are going great. So it is possible, but it's just really probably just a preference. Then I think what what you were saying Brooks, there is there's an excitement to the anticipation of actually having sex. It's it goes back to

what I said weeks ago on about Christmas morning. I dread Christmas morning because it's here and then it's gonna go away. It's supposed to be the happiest day in the year, but it's like, once it's there, it's done. So it's the build up that leads to the moment. To me, that's probably more exciting than the actual moment itself. You're saying you get sex for Christmas. The chase, I think what you're saying is the chase. So for a guy,

the chase is really enjoyable. And I'm sure I can't speak from a female standpoint, but I'm sure for them it's the same thing. But the chase of getting plus you're just infatuated by somebody, You're getting to know them, and that's going to amplify the physical experience when it comes to that. But that chase is really exciting. I agree.

I think the chase is really exciting. But I think you're all kind of wrong because I feel like if you're actually sitting there and you're at a very nice dinner and you're having the time of your life and she is too or he or whatever, and like that, you just want to get at it, like why not? Well, maybe like that's the whole point, was not the whole point. If Gavin was here, he'd say, hold on, hold on,

what am I having for dinner? Because if it's a nice steak, maybe I can put off this, And he'd say, who's paying for dinner? But yeah, I think it's I think go either way. As as Demetri said, I do have friends that have hooked up on the first night, have been married fifteen years and have kids. So that doesn't mean that that's going to dictate the quality of the relationship. But I think it's just a personal preference. Do you want to advance the physical part of it

sooner or later? I prevard later, And I'll wrap it up with this. I think the older you get, the more you know what you want. So when you find that person, if you're older, you're like, yeah, I know this, I want to be I want to have sex with this person. Like I'm not gonna waste any time. It's let's just I know what I want, he has what I want. Let's do this. We'll be right back in just a second. Okay, we're gonna get into today's topic.

We've covered this before on the show. So you guys remember the episode where my wife Julianne was on and she had mentioned about a special lady named Miss Jaia who is a sex therapist. See, I'll be honest, I thought that was a metaphor. I didn't realize that was a real person. I realized that, yes, she's a sexologist, not a sex therapist. I got that. I just want

to clear that up. But we talked about this lady named Miss Jaya, and she has an erotic blueprint UM, and it's an erotic blueprint or erotic bre Through dot com, you can take this erotic blueprint and it sort of gives you a little background about what you are essentially sexually. UM, just your erotic blueprint. And so my wife and I have have both taken this UM and did you guys take it? Have you guys taken it? Now? We have taken it. We have taken it UM. And the response

from this that show was incredible. We had so many people email us and jump on our Instagram page saying they want to hear more from Miss Jaya. So today we actually have Miss Jaya coming on with us, which is Rick's eyes just lit up. He's like, oh boy, all your answers are all your questions, your whole life? What blueprints? You know? How I gave you one word describing you. I was a shape shifter? What is that? That's what Miss Jaia is gonna answer. I was a

kid that wass sorry? I was a shape shifter. Also a shape shifter, shape shifter shape my wife was also a shape shift. Well, that's what I want to know. Is it is an ideal situation that you and your partner are the same? Or does a shape shifter pair well with a kinky? I think actually in the test, I think it does say who you pair well with? I believe, but I could be mistaken. It sounds like a question. Can't wait, what do you get? I got kinky?

You're kinky? Obviously? Wow? No, he got kinky taking the quiz? What did you get? Wait? Is that when you're you guys are a match? You're asking he's a shape shifter and I'm a kinky there's and I was not expecting that. But look, uh sexual sexual, which I don't know if you read the fine print after he said this is the best thing to be but I'm pretty sure. And then Amy's face is really read over here because she is kinky. I just get a text message from her.

Oh God, of course I'm kinky. It's all that said. She hadn't even taken the quiz yet. I feel like you even changed. You changed your voice when you said that word to to try to you know, did I sound kinkier? You have a big smile on right now. I won wear it like a badge of honor? Would you get Danielle? I got sensual? Sensual? And Tory and Hanna took it to right? What did you guys get? So if you guys want to take this, you can go to Erotic breakthrough dot com. Miss Jaya can talk

more about it. But this is an erotic blueprint to give you a little idea into how you look at intimacy and sex. Um. This is producer Tori and I had energizer or energetic, it's whatever. I also think it's also what miss Jaya is because she said we share the same erotic blue parents young. This is young Hanna and I got sexual okay, so kind of neat that we have like a mixture, that we have all different

kinds on this panel. So I'm I'm interested to ask questions to miss Jaya um and find out what this means for us. And so we have Jaya on the show with us. Welcome Jaya. Hello, it's so pleased to be here. Yeah, welcome, round of applause. I cannot state this enough. I'm so excited that you're here. Um. We have four gentlemen here that are extremely lost in this area, um and are looking for some answers. And and and also

I just want to pass on to you. I don't know if you heard the episode with my wife Julianne Huff where she mentioned your name and that we took your erotic blueprint quiz. UM. My wife doesn't fangirl over many people, but last night when I told her that we were speaking with you on the podcast today, she tried to literally clear her schedule to come meet you. So she wanted me to pass that on that she is a ass a fan of yours and she hopes

that we can connect and talk. Um. She just loves what you do loves your work and has so many questions for you. So sometime after the show we'll have to continue the conversation. But um one, we just want to introduce you to our listeners. Um And you're often mistaken for a sex therapist, but you're actually referred to as a sexologist. Can you elaborate on that for us please. So I have the great pleasure of not just talking

about sex, but I help people hands on. So my practice is somatic, meaning you know, people come into my office, we talk a little, and then I actually see how they touch each other. So I can say, hey, you're touching her like a piece of meat. You need to start touching her more like very gently, like a tulip, for like you're dropping a pebble into a pond, So that we can start to really get this not sex and just something we can talk about, it's something that

we actually need to get hands on and hands in with. Wow, so you actually get to watch and coach real time. I watched and coach real time. I work with the physical body. We work with biochemistry, so we're working with hormones, we're working with the emotional aspects, and we work with the energetic aspects. Wow, okay, so I just want to read here um your mission, So it says your mission

is to help people gain access to erotic ecstasy. You're committed to shifting the cultural view of sexuality from being something that is bad, wrong, or shameful to something seemed as healthy, worth cultivating and celebrating, which I think is an incredible mission mission. And you've been doing this work for now over two decades. Over two decades. I really want to acknowledge you guys. You know people kind of

judge like, oh, they're working on their sex life. You know, things must be going wrong or self stuff like that, and it's like, no, this is something that we need to bring out of the dark and start talking about because people feel like they're wrong, they're broken something, you know, shameful. Let's not talk about it? When why not do this

in the beginning of your relation ship? That takes a lot of courage, And I just really want to acknowledge you guys, because that's amazing that you took steps to really improve talk about these things, have conversations because I see couples thirty or forty years into their relationship and they've never had the conversation about sex, and they're both really really suffering in this area. Well, and you this is dmitri Um. You might know me as sexual from

the results. But it's kind of like a car, right, Like you don't wait for your car to break down to get it tuned up right, You bring it in and you get you get it tuned up so that it doesn't break down. And I imagine that's what the

same thing with the relationship and a sexual relationship. And if you get a hyper sports car, you want to know how the thing works, you know, like some people are like some people have a McLaren and you've got to learn you know, how to all the buttons and how to drive it in the right gas to put in it. And that's a more sophisticated blueprint. So you mentioned your sexual blueprint, but that would be like an energetic shape shifter. Is that fine automobile? You've got to

know how to play it just right. So I have a question for Ugia. So when my wife first, she came home one day and she said, I found this quiz that gives you an erotic blueprint. Um, I've read up on it. I've started studying her stuff she's watched videos. Um. She was really informed on you when she brought you to me. And originally, as you said, I pushed away. I was like, wait, don't like why we don't need that? UM? Our sex is great? UM Like why do we need

to what? What is this? I was uncomfortable with it? Just full transparency. I was uncomfortable with this. It was something that my wife had never mentioned before. UM did you feel inadequate? No, I was just I was I was curious, like why is she? Is she not happy? I kind of started thinking like, is she not happy in our sex life? I don't. And then I started thinking about it more and I was like, well, I go to I'm extremely well versed in nutrition, but I

still go to a nutritionist. I'm extremely well versed in athletics and training, but I still seek advice from anthon conditioning coaches and this other um. Kinds of areas of my life that I still I might be proficient at, but I still want to grow in that area. And I'm not saying I'm proficient sexually. But when I started thinking about it that way, I was like, Oh, actually, I'm just seeking some growth in the area versus something

is wrong. But why do we tend to look at for maybe listeners that think, oh, I could never go to a sexologist or something. Why do we tend to think that that's sort of taboo? And which I love your mission is you're trying to change that. But what is our mindset to try and think that that's taboo. Yeah, we have this history of let's put it under the rug, let's not talk about sex when we're taught from an

early age about sex. And I asked people this question all over what were you taught about sex growing up? And a lot of people say, oh, I didn't get sex education, but you were taught about sex. You were taught let's not talk about it. You were taught this is how we behave. You were taught close your legs, be good, don't you know, hash hash hash hashash Again then like, don't talk about it, peace creates the taboo around it, which either becomes an erotic charge like oh

it's naughty. That's one of the blueprints as well, and like that naughty, let's not talk about it, and that turns me on. Hey, Ji, I just wanted to ask you, you know, what the benefit of do going to you know, as uh, sexology sexologists Early on in the relationship, when you're with somebody and you guys both think you may have everything kind of going on the right way, and

what's the advantage of that. So the beginning of a relationship, everything is kind of hot sexually, biochemically, you know, you're like, oh, new hormones, new energy. And then what happens is we go into the default of how we're wired erotically, and so after like six months eighteen months, biochemistry changes, the limerince wears off, and now we're like, maybe this person

isn't right for me. But what we do when we have preventative, which is we really love this person, And I want to bust a myth here, which is about sexual compatibility. We think when we go talk to somebody about our sexuality, or we like it isn't super hot in the bed, or we're not having the orgasms that we might think we should be having, we say, oh, I'm incompatible with that person. But it's not incompatibility. If

you love someone, you're gonna learn their language. So think about it more as a language, and so wouldn't it be better at the beginning of the relationship, Oh my gosh, you speak Spanish and I speak French. Let me learn French and let me learn Spanish. Now we know each other's languages. As we go into the relationship, we can keep it much hotter. Or if things change. So you have a baby, I hear one of you has a baby on the way? Um or is your you know

your partner gets pregnant. Blueprints can change, sexuality can change. And now you have a language to go. Oh, my partner just shifted to energetic. Now I know how to how to speak Chinese versus I have no idea what's going on. I don't know how to touch my partner anymore. I don't understand why things have changed. And we're at a loss. And before you know what, you're in a sexist situation or you're just dissatisfied and not talking about

it and you're going through the motions. So what is what is one thing that the most common problem that you you see in couples when they contact you, they aren't having sex, or the sex isn't enjoyable or is it um a partner is giving sex or acts of sex how they want to receive them, and it's not how their partner receives them or prefers like, what are some common problems that maybe um our listeners are facing, and maybe we're facing that we don't know. We actually

have an epidemic on our hands of sexist relationships. You'd be really surprised. Last I heard, statistically, I think it was one in seven long term relationships were sexless, one of three in the US, And so this is a that's a lot of sexist relationships. And then we have the quality of sex, so we have people who aren't having se ux and then we have the I'm just not enjoying myself. I'm not saying anything. I wish my partner would read my mind. I hear this a lot

from uh. We can say the feminine energy people or people who are identify as women who say, you know, I just wish my partner would know what to do and read my mind and be able to just voila magically give me orgasms. And that's not how it works. Part of it's a communication challenge. And I had this in my own relationship. You know here I was I was a sex therapy sex I'm not a sex service. I was a sexologist who when I knew all the

sex techniques. I knew everything. I've written the book on oral I've written the book on erotic massage, I've written the book on sex positions. I couldn't get my own partner to have sex with me, and so you can, guys can imagine I'm already like fifteen years into my career and my own like we're rolling over on the opposite side of the bed, and I'm crying myself to sleep at night because I'm incongruent with what I'm doing for a living. I had to figure out what this was,

and it wasn't about another sex technique. It wasn't about me. You know, strip teasing on the floor. That wasn't my partner's blueprint. Now, the sexuals, you guys might right of luck the strip tease of the floor, but my partner is not as sexual. So I had to refigure out all of this. And that's where a part of this came from, was my own pain in my own relationship.

I'm happy to say we have a amazing, epic sex life now, but that time period after me having a baby and me trying to figure out who he was erotically, and it wasn't the stereotype of what we think men are. We think men are all sexual and this is how they should behave I'm naked, I'm on the bed, he should be ready to go. But that's not the truth. As we've learned through seventy thousand people now taking this quiz, uh, we see that there are men who have many different blueprints,

not just a sexual blueprint. Is the beginning of the blueprint. No matter what the blueprint is, is it communication? Is that how you would start the blueprint out? So we start with taking the quiz and then figuring out from there what is it? Just mentally that you would start to type in and the quiz will give you different percentages in that map. Then we actually have physical games. So I don't have many of you been to the eye doctor. When you do, like here's a and here's

be which one can you see clear? It's a similar thing where we start to play games with the bodies. To me, it's about what how the body responds. Somebody may say, I'm not kinky. This is the one that habits the most frequently. I'm not the kinky blueprint. Which are people who are turned on by taboo, But then we get them touching and all of a sudden, their body responds like, oh my god, I love that rope or oh my like you know, I love dominated and

that doesn't lie. So for we mentioned this already before, but for people listening, they can take this quiz and find out your erotic blueprint at erotic breakthrough dot com. Um. But say somebody hasn't taken the quiz, or somebody has taken the quiz. What are the different erotic blueprints and what are characteristics of those blueprints? Great questions. So there's five erotic blueprints. The first one is energetic. It's someone

who's turned on by anticipation, space, tease, and longing. They love to yearn there's superpowers that they can have orgasms without even being touched, so they can go into high pleasure without actually having physical touch. This is a conundrum for some of the other blueprints, and I find that one really interested because there are like learning about this. There are people that they're most turned on when their partner is six ft away or across the room, like

another city, the same thing we're unavailable. That could be a shadow party. So that's an energetic. Each blueprint has a superpower, and each blueprint has a shadow. The shadow side of the energetic is they're so sensitive that they may short circuit, so if you approach them too much,

too quickly, too fast. I don't know if any of you had this experience where you're about to kiss somebody and it's so hot and like your lips are just like they're you're about you're about to do it, and then there's all this excitement and then the moment the kiss happens, it kind of fades. That could be that you're an energetic or that it was just too much and more time and that yearning and longing and tease

and edge play would be even more powerful. So that's the first one, and the second one is the sensual, and the sensual is turned on by all of their senses being ignited, so this is taste, smell, touch. Superpower is that they can have non genital orgasms, so this could be like sucking on someone's big toe or you know, bring down on the back of their knees something like that. Clearly took a shower before that sounds like sensual shadow

who just said that. He's also the one that perked up when you said there was a book on oral so he's he's a roller coaster over here. I am only a microphone, so that's sensual. So we have energetic, we have sensual, and then the sexual is someone who's turned on by what we think of in our culture as sex is penetration, erection, intercourse, that is, and there's zero to sixty like I can get turned on usually high drive, very very quickly. And sex is fun. It's simple.

So superpower is that it's just it's simple, it's easy. It's like, how can you go wrong? And sex helps the sexual relax, whereas like a sensual they need to relax first in order to have sex. So a sexual is maybe more like a primal primal feeling. Yes, sex is a need, it's a desire, it's a drive. It's like everything is right in the world if I am having sex, successful sex. I think that's Gavin, isn't it?

Dmitries sexual That's what I can thank you. I came up with that in the quiz, But I don't know that that's I don't know that that says, you know, nails me to a t there. I mean, I don't feel primal. I don't feel like I need to have sex like it sounds at least the way it was described there, it sounds a very um what's the word I'm looking for, very like transactional like yeah, and I

don't know, I don't think that's me. I'm sure you probably possess or g I you could answer this, but like Dmitri, so he's saying he's sexual, but that doesn't sound like him. He would possess elements of all these other blueprints, wouldn't he don't be embarrassed by your blueprint, Dmitri. I'm not embarrassed, um actually, But the truth is so with the way he's broke down, I do. I don't remember what they said, but I know it said, um, sexual was a certain percentage, and then you're at something

else a certain percentage. So maybe that's what you possess other blueprints. Yeah, so that's somebody who's like, like, let's say they're eighty percent sexual. They're gonna like that A is a need, desire, want if it's high on your percentages. Whereas like my my mapping used to be that I was thirty three sexual and then I was thirty energetic, So I had those two you as my high, my my bottom. My zero was kinky now my partner, that's

the next blueprint on here. Kinky is turned on by that taboo, someone who's turned on my taboo, And that can be psychological kinky with dominance and submission play, or it can be more sensation based, like spanking or the feeling of constriction on your body, something like that. My partner's highest is kinky and my zero was kinky. My highest was sexual, his zero was sexual. So we were complete opposites, which is why I'm stripped teasing for him,

and he's going, why are you doing that? That does not you know, not doing it for me? Um, that makes sense because I just pulled up my results. Sexual was it was the most dominant one, but it was only and then shape shift seventeen, kinky seventeen, and energetic eight. Is it safe to say if if you are polar opposite with your significant other? Is that are you in the most need of help? Is that? Yeah? I guess

i'd say what what I'd say? You are not help necessarily, But education, it's like learning, it's learning a language and it's just getting an education around Well, how do I speak like? You know? Meant you being eight percent there? Then energetic is the place where he could expand and develop.

So once you know your blueprint is about learning how to feed it so you feel satisfied speaking it, like what are the right words to use, Like you're not going to go to an energetic and speak sexual that's going to turn them off. And the body language that you use healing the shadow aspects of the blueprint. And then the final piece is expanding into new territory with the blueprint. So when I went to expand, I started

expanding into kinky because that was my partner's language. To learn that and start to find my own turn on and that so we can find cross over where we really love to dance. So that's four of them. So so far we have energetic, sensual, kinky, sexual, and then what is the fifth one? And the final one is the shape shifter and the shapes after there's someone who's turned on by everything. It's they they love it all, they could go forever, um, they speak all the languages,

they're great lovers. Um. The shadow side of this this is, by the way, Brooks is a shape shifter and the amount of gloating he is doing right now, I'm not doing any listeners that they can't see. It's just like the smile on his face and the way he's just sitting back like taking it all, and it's tough to watch. By the way, Botinue. By the way, Brooks speaks six languages, and he also he's made thirty million dollars in his

NHL career, but he's counting. There's a new category called Brooks now that that has nothing to do with sex. Though I was doing I was doing none of those things. Ryan just got irritated as soon as you started saying that because we had talked before, and I am a shape shifter, I've taken the test. I am a shape shifter and my wife is also a shape shifter. Wow. So is it is it good to be Is it good to be, like Ryan asked his good to be opposite? Or is it is it tough to be opposite of

your partner? Is it good to be the same erotic blueprint as your partner? Is that good hans to both? So it can be like if you get two energetics together and they both are really high energetics, it's great. But if you get when somebody who's like me, who was an energetic sexual, I really love the physical aspect of sex. So if I would just get really really frustrated if somebody didn't also have that in their blueprint map,

because I want that physical aspect now to shape. Shifters together can be great because you've got all that variety, But what if one of you is in this mood one night, but you're in the other mood, you know, like one of you is energetic one night and the other sexual, and you might need three to four hours to have sex or you know ten I had a partner who was that way, and we couldn't get sex under thirteen hours. Like every time we were having sex, and I know there's other things to do in life,

couldn't get it under thirteen hours. We were like sixteen to twenty hours. We were averaging of our love making experiences. Yeah, like in a month anything, what is that? Over winter break?

We call those that's called the champion. I don't know if I like, and it's Olympic athletes, you know, like we're the shapeshifterre can be like an Olympic athlete and I'm more like an astronaut where I just like to explore all that's erotically possible, Like what are all the different things that you can do and play with because in sexuality we're only hitting the tip of the iceberg with the conversation. There's so much that's possible that we

most people just don't even know. Yeah, and if you're a majority of one of those five and like, do you want to work on the others? I mean even if like you know, you want to be a well balanced person, right, so if your partners, if you don't match your partner, but you want to maybe work on something else or I don't know, do you do you ever see somebody that's nearly for each of the five categories,

so they are the most well rounded. We do see people who are well rounded, it's usually after they've been through some of our work. Like, my goal is that everybody sort of becomes a full spectrum human and their sexuality so that they become shape shifters essentially. I think it's our true essence as human beings. I just think we get shamed out of different desires like this is okay, that's not okay, and then that starts to shape and form who we are erotically, and so we have this

conditioned erotic mask. When we start to take that mask off, you start to see that people are much more varied in their sexual desire and what they really love. They start to learn that, oh, I didn't even know that I liked that. They start to go, oh, I'm free now to express that as they start to learn more and more and more about their sexuality. I think that's

a very important point which you just touched on. There is um Sometimes I think in a relationship it could be difficult for a person or a couple to bring up topics like this to talk about what they want sexually and for people listening. Taking just from my own experience, taking this erotic blueprint quiz just sort of open the door a little bit from my wife and I. We have very good communication as it is, but it opened the door a little bit for us to just talk

about more of this. And this was a platform in a way, um too, for me to voice what I want, things that are important to be. And then because we were both shapeshifters, we started discussing things different things, specific things that turn us on, whether it's a touch or a kiss of the ear or space or like just gently rubbing your hand or like your fingertips down the

back or stuff like that. So, for if you're struggling people listening, if you're struggling in your relationship, to bring up something like this, or you want to bring up something like this. This is this Erotic Blueprint quiz is maybe a little bit of an icebreaker um that you can share with your partner to start this conversation. Should yeah, um, okay, I have one. I have a question for you then, So moving from that, jaya um, the sex quiz um,

the Erotic Blueprint quiz? Can you give everyone listening one one or two really important questions from the quiz um? Maybe what the most important one is and what that answer might tell us? Is there anything that jumps out from this quiz? Absolutely? I love to just do an exercise with my partner. I'm most turned on when and go back and forth with one another. So um, one of the examples would be something like, I'm most turned on when I'm doing something I consider edgy, naughty or taboo.

Or I'm most turned on when I'm immersed in a beautiful environment with amazing fragrances, music and sensual artistry. So how would you answer this, you guys, which which one of you are most turned on with edgy, naughty and taboo or beautiful environment with smells and music. And I have to admit I fell asleep when you were talking about the beautiful environment in the music in the artistra So what would you what would be your form deal

which is more naughty taboo? I guess yeah, as I'm watching you, I notice too, like when I'm talking about those things, you light up a little bit. So I just when I watched body language a lot to just see when people light up or so I would agree with you on that one. The truth is I lit up because I was looking at Brooks and it's it's all of us, we're victims of it. But yeah, I get it. Um, to answer your question, I like, I really like an environment, So I like, UM like some

dim lighting. I like like candles on music. Um, I like that. But then also something specifically that I that really gets me um in the mood would be when my wife wears lingerie. So when she comes, it's just there's an element of risque, there's an element of desire and lust and also a little space there. So she wears lingerie, but she's just like five or six ft away, or maybe she just walks around the bed a little bit or walks back or just creates a little bit

of space there. Um is something that's very erotic for myself. Do you need a minute? Do you need a minute? I may, I got I got nervous because Brooks was like, I like a room. It smells good, it's dimly lit, and he started describing the room we're in right now, and it kind of made me a little bit. You guys are pretty, but you're not as pretty as my wife. And with the lingerie, that can be more sensual, or

it could be sexual. You know, if it's the visual part of it, it's like seeing the body, it's like seeing the roundness of a butt or you know, seeing breasts, that that that piece is more of the sexual blueprint.

But then if it's like I like the feeling of the lease and I like the colors, then that can be more sensual in the environment we actually she was cleaning out her lingerie or two days ago, um, and I told her to throw out everything that wasn't black or red, so anything that I had to pink on it or anything. I was like, I don't, I don't, and I think maybe in the past I might like that, but now anything black or red. To me, that's very sexy.

And I think the other thing about lingerie is that to me, it emotes a feeling that she's excited and she's erotic. So when I when she puts it on, I mean I don't ask her to put on, she puts it on. I'm like, whoa, she's She's really in the mood and really erotic right now. And that, um, that stimulation mentally is a big part of the experience as well. When you say throw them away, you mean

like donate them. Uh? Yeah, donated. We always, Dmitri, We always donate everything that we give away that we have no use for. I gave it to Rick. He's wearing it right now. Uh. You two gentlemen, what about you? What is something specifically? UM? I think mine, something like a turn on, is more probably more mental, and it's more of like I find situations to be to be exciting.

So if you're out somewhere, maybe you're you know, you're I don't know, if you're out at a bar or a restaurant or with you know, and all of a sudden you realize you kind of connect with your partner and realize that you're both kind of thinking something and no one else knows that you're thinking this, and you have to go like, say, you're at a dinner party right and um, and you and you're and your wife are both aware that you're you're attracted to each other

right now, but no one else knows. To me, that's exciting and you think, Okay, well we're gonna go through this. Are you going into the bathroom by the time you get home? When you go home, then it's then it's on. And so it's just that that acknowledgement of knowing and you're both kind of turned on, but no one else knows it. And to me, that's exciting. When you're can I jump in on this first? Because to each other, are you touching each other? I have something? I have

something on this topic. So what you were just saying, I know what you're talking about. And here's a story from a teammate. I'm not going to say his name, but a teammate of mine. Brooks just winked when he said teammates continue, He bought and g I I'm interested to see what you think of this. He bought his

wife vibrating underwear that he had a remote too. And so when they would go out and sometimes two team parties, a Christmas party, he would they'd be across the room from each other and he'd hit this button on the remote and her her underwear would vibrate and you could see her move and squirm a little bit, and it turned him on, and he told us about this. But what do you think about that? Gi, I don't know. This is probably for everyone listening, that is not what

I was talking about. I was just thinking maybe you could add that indomitri, if that's what you're into. I've done this many times, and I recommend it for homework, especially for any of you who have kinky in your blueprint and you love the taboo and loved you know, the movie theaters um. And there are lots of different kinds of vibrating panties out there and all kinds of

fun things. There's even apps that you can control from far away, so you don't even have to be there, Like, there's so many fun things that you can play with, and then you can create context around it of you know, your tonight. I own you, you know, in a in a good way own you because it's consent, but I own you your mind and therefore I get to control your pleasure. You can't have an orgasm until I say so. I'm going to, you know, turn this on and off,

like these kinds of fun things where you can go. Yeah, is anybody else getting like insanely turned on your right now? I think we're all sitting down. They want complain about They won't complain about you being on your phone too much. That was That was amazing. That was amazing by the way, Gavin, he said he's the one that it's into the sucking of the big toes. So just so we cover that I do that that my wife really enjoys it when I suck on her toes. Yeah, true story. Interesting what

I'm giving signals to Danielle. But please call People magazine. Hey, we play around. Why do you like? Do you like your toes? I don't know. I would never. My toes are in skates and workout shoes and I can shower and soap them off, but I would never. Hey, there are some people who are into that too. Let's see you're not wearing shoes right now? Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely. That one looks like it has a wig on. So

that's a that's one anyway back on track here. So another great question that I like to ask is when it comes to sexual interaction, I mostly crave And if any of you go to take the quiz, you're gonna see these questions. So you can you can work with your partner and just say, tell me something that you crave when it comes to sex, and just go back and forth. This is a great exercise to start to

open up the conversation. So here's another one. When it comes to sexual interaction, I mostly crave endless, timeless, erotic sessions where I am fed in always, when my hunger is seen and as a superpower instead of as overwhelming and too much. Or I crave scratching, slapping, squeezing, or holding or being held down. You can guess which blueprint that is. Or I crave mostly sexual penetration ending in a climax more intercourse overall. Or I crave amazing touch, massage,

pleasure and my whole body. Or I crave my partner's full presence in this moment, my partner being fully present to my body, my heart, my soul, and my spirit. Wow, that's crazy, as you were just as you were talking about that, Um, do you recommend that couples take this quiz at the same time. Just a good question. I taking it separately really and then coming back and then talking about it. And and this is only if you

really have struggled communicating about sex. You're gonna feel more comfortable. You're going to answer more honestly. If your partner is not there now, if the two of you are already comfortable, then yet go ahead and take it together. And then you're gonna get enlightened and be able to like, actually, stop while you're taking the quiz and go, let's talk about that one. Let's share more about that. What about that turns you on? That's another really great question if,

for example, the big toe sucking. If you're turned on by big toe toe sucking, what about that turns you on? Yeah, So as you were just talking there, I was thinking, my wife and I have taken this quiz separately, but as you were just talking, I would like to take it with her at the same time, so we can look at the question together and voice why this I think this one and why she thinks that one. That's

got a quick question for Brooks. When you said about the sucking the toe, now you said that's obviously a big turn on for your wife. Is that a turn on for you as well? Or is it like knowing that to turn on for her makes it do? Yes? I do? And I like I enjoy giving my wife a massage. I really enjoy like, um, touching her body and giving her a massage before just getting before as like four play before getting to just straight sex. Um. So and and that's every part of her body. And

my wife's my wife's a dancer. So her whole life, her feet have been in high heels and her feet that she's a danced eight hours a day. Her feet are always sore, and so a big turn on for her because of her profession has been feet. And so there will be a lot of times where we're on the couch and she'll put her feet on me. She just like it's a it's a love language for her. If I rub her feet, she feels immensely loved and

taken care of. Tell you a secret about feet. A spot, Oh please, let me look at the screen he's getting a pen hold on. It's called the bubbling spring and it's right below the big toe. Okay, I'm gonna show you guys my feet right here. Spring, that's it there, that's it right there. Gorgeous, But I think that's where my blister is, though, can you too hard? Can you elaborate on the bubbling spring? And why you show the stuff? So I know a whole lot of different sexual modalities.

I studied a whole lot about ancient cultures and sexuality. So this is a Taoist practice and it goes in with Chinese medicine. But there's a there's an act pressure point right there, and a lot of times when I have clients will go right to that spot when we start to get into higher pleasure and we'll press on that spot and it just sends them crazy, like they'll start to get dibrasions through their whole body and kind

of like shaking. It's really fun um So so pressing in that spot stimulates one of the meridians that goes up into the kidneys and it and it's I can get into all kinds of fun stuff there, but I think that that's enough brain package there for the fun facts. And you guys get it. Just pressing right there, you can go right up into the meridian and then it can starts to get convulsions into the body. It's really

fun bubbling spring of the foot. Maybe we'll have to put a picture on our Instagram page for yeah, so you can find it easier for everybody next to the manator. Which of you will be our foot model? Probably not. Ryan claimed today he was going to be a hand model. So maybe Ryan's gonna be if we can get those orthopedic shoes off and we can probably get a picture of his feet. Jaya, can you hold your foot up again for our camera? Oh, Tori has taking a picture

right there. You. Brooks is so distracted he just called Danielle Tory. Did I just getting Tori more airtime? Do you enjoy giving a massage to Julianne If you don't, or if you know that it's not going to lead to sex, yes, yeah, I'll probably almost do that daily. Um, she like I'll be most days there will be some element of rubbing her feet or shoulders or something. I know she really appreciates it. There's other times she just comes and puts her feet right on me. So, um,

yes I do. I I would for sure. Well, thanks for making the rest of us look like, Yeah, I don't do it. Let's be honest, it's probably not every day, but it's not an in common occurrence. You're gonna do it more that you know about the bubbling spring, though I have never tried the bubbling spring. Maybe good nights the nights tonight bubbling spring and I'll and I'll stay here that it just shows blueprinting, like nobody's wrong or bad.

Like if you just like to give the shoulder massage for five seconds and then get to intercourse, that's awesome, Like that's that was me right, Like I like, get me a little bit turned on, and then I want to go straight to intercourse. I want to go straight to penetration. And there's nothing wrong or bad about that.

That's just perhaps the type that you are. Now if you like to give a five hour massage or you know, thirty minute massage and you don't need, like you feel fulfilled in that, you're great too, Like nobody is wrong, bad or broken. And I think that's one of the

messages that I really want to get across. Because we don't talk about sex, we feel we get in a comparison game like oh my god, that person is having all these different orgasms or this or that as opposed to you are just who you are erotically right now, in this moment, and that's okay. Now, can you grow absolutely, But who you are erotically is not bad and wrong

or strange or not normal. The majority of people out there feel like they're abnormal, and I'm here to say you are normal, and you're erotic mapping most likely, and you're not broken. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, I find it fascinating that you said you were a fan of the five second massage, but yet ten minutes ago you told us about your thirteen hour marathon sessions. I don't know where the rest of the time goes. But she also

said you said that erotic blueprints can change over time. Yes, So have you seen that happen in any of the couples you've worked with, where maybe they start out as one and then how long over time? How long are we talking? Is it a year? Is it five years? Or like for people Rick and Dmitri have both been married almost fifteen years. Would you say, in the course of their lives that you think their erotic blueprint is

probably shifted or their wives has shifted. Yes, So we have different things that happen in life that can create a shift in blueprint. So birth of a child can create a shift in blueprint. Longevity of the relationship can create a shift to menopause. You know, life changes, injuries, sickness, or many things that can shift our blueprint, as well as partner shifts. So if you're single and you're listening, that can also change depending upon the partner that you get.

We're looking at polarization. Oftentimes we polarized in relationship. So what I see happen is as people gain awareness of their blueprint, and they have this awareness, they're then able to go, Oh, I can expand into all these different languages. Now influent in like you said, five six different languages. I can speak all the different erotic languages. And therefore, no matter what life hits me with, or what life change happens, or how things shift, I'm able to go

in and create epics X Wow, epic sex, Ryan, epic sex. Amen, He's blown away. Your mind is blown. Um. I want to thank you so much, Jaya. Can we give her a round of applause? Um? First, I want to commend you. Just listening to you speak, You're attacking an area that socially is maybe as you said, taboo or hush hush, and you're very bold and courageous, and I want to

acknowledge that. Um, yeah, you you attack this and you try and open this platform for other people to have a voice in and to feel expressed and understood by their partners. So, um, anybody listening can take the Erotic Blueprint quiz at Erotic Breakthrough dot com. But where can they find you and get in touch with you? Because you are you are a hot topic from our listeners from the episode with my wife and now after our

listeners here you talk. I'm sure your your email is gonna be full and your phone's gonna bring it off the hook. But where is the best place for our listeners to get in touch with you? Jaya dot Love is my website, So it's j A I y A dot love l O B E. If you want to visit our website, but go take the quiz Erotic Breakthrough dot com and you'll see me talking on videos you You'll get a video with me and you'll get connected

with us there. I'm also on Facebook and all those good social media platforms, and I want to also just acknowledge you guys for having this conversation. I know that this could be edgy territory and you're opening a box. And one of my big missions in life is to have a conversation community around sexuality, and you're all putting yourselves out there too, So just thank you so much for having me on, for having this conversation. It really means a lot to me. Thank you so much. Thank you.

We appreciate and like I said, my wife, my wife, if you're ever in l A would love to take you out for dinner, have you up to the house. But some at some point we'll be in touch real soon because she's a massive fan of yours and all the work that you do, and she's very explorative and curious in this space. So that's how I got into it. So credit to her, Um, and credit to you for all the work that you do. And I'm sure that I will be seeing your face or talking to you

very soon. So thank you for the time today. Really appreciate it. Thank you, good sirs for you opening up um about some intimate topics, and we'll be right back. Is Gavin. Hello, it's Givin. What a brother? What's going on? Some ice cream cake? We miss you? Somebody? Yeah, I miss you guys. Back man what are you doing right now, hanging man, I'm on the tour bus, hanging out with my dog and uh, buddy, give us so tour kicked off on Thursday. How's it going so far, buddy, man,

it better be going good. I'm in trouble. Hopefully this podcast someday makes money and it can be your backup plan in case the vocals, in case the vocals disappear, or or the offers on the table from all four of us to turn us into like a boy band of five man band band. Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing

cooler than a man band. And I think, I think, I think we should all have our have our own independent stylists where we show up and like, you know, we do like you know, like one of us is, you know, the hot one, and one of us is not as hot one. And then there's a third one who's not as hot as the one that is. And then there's there's the one who are the one, the one who knows, but the one who everybody likes because he knows that he's not hot, but he's okay with

not being the hot one. And then there's the other one who's like girls like him just because they know that he would never even claim to accept the fact that he was. Where are you going there? There's only five of us, but that was you caught that too. That was the sixth guy. But all the cousins of the man band members who also would be out and

I'll start up their own social accounts, I think. And then back to your stylist point, buddy, I think I'd have the best stylist because right now I'm wearing a Gavin the graw T shirt, the new merch there's a big there's like a big moon behind you. I just text you the photo we did. Hey, I don't know. We made shirts for boys. Hey put it this way, you put it this way. You sold five shirts already. Dude. He cut off the sleeves. He rolled it up like I'll put I'll post it on our Instagram for you

to see everybody's best damn shirt. This might be my new date night. It's a good workout shirt. To you know, this is a date You don't wear shirts on date night. Which ones did you get? Because I tried to mail you guys a little the little half shirts were talking about should we cut the sleeves off? Cut these off? At the belly and send just the photo. Do you saying we're your biggest fans. We just did that thing where you pull it up to the neck and pull it down so it's like it it looks like a

tube top. I do got a commandia though, brother. This T shirt is extremely comfortable and I'm gonna I'm gonna share it on my Instagram page to plug your rch because we want you to get your grotto. You're not getting any checks from hell men think, so we we gotta get that merged flying off the shelves and get you your grotto. Okay, well that was death Ray Jenner seven.

Let me tell you why those are so soft because I hand washed them, so I thought you were going you hand knit them, and then they smelled so good because I call drive my dog with them before I pulled them up and put them in the boxes to distribute. You're a hard working man. Yeah. By the way, I saw a picture. I saw a picture of your dog on your Instagram um um, and then I comment, I was like, yeah, we gotta get we gotta get him

a play date with our boy Coda. You know we should do We should start a TV show that's like it's like chips, but two dogs dogs, but they're like they're they're they're canine dogs that are a duo. That's what I'm talking about. To have their own merchandizing. They can start. We could have our own video game video bubble heads. That's right. So there's there's alcohol on the

tour bus. It seems. Yeah, Hey, Gavin, yav we just talked to miss Jaya, the sexual blueprint woman, sexologists, the sexologists. Wait a second, was she the one um my wife references the dark haired girl. Yes, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, she's a sexologist. I guess we had to sum it up and give you the cliff notes. Brooks sucks Julianne's tone. It's pologist, somebody who basically makes drinks but with generals.

Uh maybe that's I can't say no, but I mean, if that's a really profound question enough, that makes sense. But anyway, so she ran us through the have you taken the quiz? Have you taken your erotic blueprint quiz? Because we were all kind of laughing and wondering what you might be. Man, I'm not much for schoolwork. I think Gavin's Gavin's got an Eurotic tattoo. He doesn't go

for the blueprint. It's a straight tattoo. The problem with me and quizzes and the second someone even says the word quiz, I just break out sweating profusely and start feeling a little bit noxious. So anyway, it gives you this answer of whether you are energetic as as like your sexual energy is energetic, kinky, uh, sensual? Sexual sensual or a shape shifter? And so we're all all four

of us were different things. Um isn't that the nature of a shape shifter or that they would be different things? So are you all shape shifters? No? No, no, no, I'm a shape shifter. The other guys are? I was apexual? Rick shape shifter? Sap. When you say, when you say

shape shifter, does that make me like con man? Think of it like you can play you can think of it like you can play all of the instruments in the band, Like you can play the drums, the bass, the guitar, and you can suck a cringing over there. I'm trying to make sense of this analogy. But OK, so we took the question I'm going to sit next. Do you want the answer to that? Because it's you're gonna go Oh, of course Amy was kinky. A was kinky self, admittedly kinky or like, she didn't even take

the test. She just came right out with it. And there's a pole running, there's a pole running that you're probably kinky as well. Oh that's the pole. Yeah, well, what's the wager? I just made it up? Hell, I mean, I want to know the odds because all that all bet a hundred bucks that says you come out kinky. Hey man, it's very possible. I think basically, uh, if I was to discuss this in public, which I would

never do. Nobody's listening to this, No, I would say that you uh, you basically uh have to become whatever the environment is, right, But at the same time you have your own you know, your own I guess version of adapting to the moment, right. So I don't know what that makes me, but hopefully I I'm adaptable. I think that makes you a shape shifter. You're sort of you play with all these Actually I have to say that that actually kind of makes me a little bit.

They call that a one man band, son one man band. That's right, that's too funny. I think the best part about this is that probably this isn't even going on. You guys are just sent me like, yeah, so I'm what are you gavin to grow? Are you super kink super in? In our conversation with the sexologist, one of us in the group divulged that he sucks his wives

wife's toes. Which, among the four of us here today, do you believe that to be Huh, well, it wouldn't be Brooks interesting, would be talk us through your logic as you eliminate people. Somebody who gets to put their feet up on their desk at work, so they think that perhaps they have a clean foot. Somebody somebody somebody somebody who does who they have never bought open to choose for. And uh somebody who also um somebody who also must have very very nice looking feet, I mean

very nice feet. They have very very bad teeth and they don't care what coasts in their mouth. So who is your guests for? Who on our panel sucks their wives toes? Who sucks your wives toes? Uh? Ryan wrong? I take that as a compliment, thank you, but the that is not correct. Next, a process of elimination actually is that insulting? Or is that a compliment. It's not Brian. Okay, sick. Hold on a second, now, maybe Rick would do it. Why do you think Rick would do it? Because I've

seen him swim in a dirty lake. You won't even suck a lollipop. He's out what they say, a pig will always find dirt. Okay, So it's not Rick. Not so it is not Ryan. You've guessed Ryan and Ricken is not Ryan or Rick. He's sort of ruling out Brooks. But I don't know if you guys got you guys got me feeling lucky. I need to spend more time

in Las Vegas. We're going there, buddy, September nine. We're going there for the iHeart Music Fest we're doing and and I might need your weight on this, but I am leveraging Amy hard to put us at the Blaggio or the Venetian. And she's saying, we kind of have accommodation somewhere else, and I said, no, Gavin will not put up with that Blaggio. Listen, all I heard was wait, do you call me fat? That was like ten minutes ago. All the ice cream cake is gone. Okay, back to it.

Who do you think it is? Rick? Or do you think it's Dmitri or myself. Man, I don't know. Man, this is the hardest game of roulette I've ever played. Gentlemen, Um, I don't know. Well, you're the newly win, I mean newly wins, dude, see your honeymoon face. So probably everbat anything right about now. So we'll see in twenty years if you're still sucking. That's rights Brooks its Yeah, of course, I was the first word out of your mouth. It's

not Brooks's how it goes. Of course, there's a little twist. Brooks sucks Ryan's wife's toes. No, buddy, buddy, how's the tour? How's um? How's life on the tour? So it's good man. I love torns, so I love the road, and I happen to love being on the tour buses. So it's just kind of just a comfortable place for me and I I'm just somebody who likes watching the miles kicked by. Yeah, I'm not a big airplane fan. Um. I much prefer choling on tour buses. I got a question, probably for

the listeners want to hear any answer. I mean, do you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the bus. What are you? What are you doing on the bus? Do you stop over? Do you have an agenda on where you want to stop and eat and visit things? I looked some stuff up online, you know, like uh use you know, use the apps, like where do you recommend I eat such and such a town? You know, do a little research and uh find recommended places and talk to locals. Also when you get a certain places and

say what's the best place in town? And what place would you? You know, where where do the tourists go? So don't send me there? Send me where like you would go with your you know, with your friends or whatever. You know, you find exactly exactly. You find some great stuff out on the road. You know, there's some great great hole holes in the wall and places like that, and there's some great better dining and worth dining and you know taverns and pubs and stuff like that. So um,

there's just a lot. There's a lot of world to see. You know, my liver is willing to do all of it. Do you only eat at places that guy Fiery has eaten on? Diners, drivings and dives? Is that accurate? It's good enough for triple D it's good enough for the gav. You know that's correct. One way trip to flavor Town, Bud. Are you a donkey sauce on a flip flop? Do you know what the side deal with Guy Fieri here that I've always just wanted to work donkey sauce into

a flip flop. That's into a podcast, missing accomplice, goodbye. Random question. Guys in flip flops? How do you think you were perceived socially? Because I was wearing flip flops today and I was thinking to myself, well, these are pretty comfortable, and somebody took a picture and I was like, come wearing flip flops so full transparency. Brother, If you could see me, I'm kicked back on the couch with one leg crossed over the other, and I have a

pair of black flip flops on right now. That's all I wear. Are you watching the Golf Channel? No, I'm not. I've never I don't. My dad actually watches the I live. I live in flip flops. I'm either in workout shoes or flip flops. The weird thing is Brooks has socks on too, so they's a good luck. Are you? Are you rocking the sacks with the sandals right now. Yeah, I am like he likes to keep his toes free for sucking. Don't don't never tell anybody else that, Um, nobody,

You're You're fine in the flip flops. Um? Yeah, but what about what about the musician? For example, if I'm asking for a friend, if there's a musician on stage and he's wearing flip flops, how do you feel about that during this, like during the show or during Yeah, I probably wouldn't be a fan of that unless it was like Jimmy Buffett. It's like if you're okay, okay, So it has to shoot the music style. Yeah, is it like a little summer kind of festival, just kicking back, relaxed,

just chill music. Or is it like what she's wearing one? What if he's up there playing his songs, he's wearing one very nice shoe and his wife is sucking on his other foot. I don't even know how to go with that one me neither question for you, buddy. Um, just to educate, Just to educate us so we know what you're going through out there. And then also our listeners are probably really super curious. What does an average day on tour look like like, let's say, uh, what

do you have a show tonight? What does the full day on tour look like? Full day on tour? It's it's kind of it's hard to explain. It's a bit of a little bit like half hibernation, half hard work because you're you know, sitting your tour bus for a good part of the day hanging out just because it's your house. You know, your bus is your home on the road. You know, it's sort of like sort of like this just traveling cabin. Um. And then I'll go in, I'll rehearse with the band. Um, we'll do that for

an hour or two or three hours. What time? What time is that material that's in the afternoon? Um? And But but typically the hours are a little bit messed up because this sleep thing is a little bit inconsistent, depending because I don't know about what kind of sleeper

you guys are. But if the bus stops, right, and it stopped frequently throughout the night because drivers want to take a break and hop off the bus and refuel, etcetera, you may wake up a few times throughout the night or several times throughout the night, So you're kind of sleeping on and off, on and off, on and off, working, taking a nap, working rehearsal, take a nap, go overter walk, check out the town, head back to a signing, uh, you know, do a meet and greet, hang with your fans,

signed some autographs, player show, hang out after the show, sign autographs, take picture and stuff like that. Um, and then you roll out, usually very late at night because the best the best traveling time is in the middle of the night for the buses because there's no traffic. So do you guys leave I am? Do you leave it two am? That's common? That's common, you know, midnight

to UM. Depends on how long the drive is. And if it's a really long drive, well we'll go out with double drivers, will bring a couple of drivers, um, you know, and uh, you know, a couple of drivers will split the shifts like that. What's your absolute favorite thing about being on tour? I like, I like not sticking around, you know what I mean. I like just kind of checking out the scenery and then hopping on the bus and split and then go to the next place.

That's just what I like to do, you know. I like the fact that it changes every day, and I actually like the small inconveniences that kind of forced you to go out, and you know, it makes the most fundamental task become a task. You're like, oh, damn, I just ran out of whatever. I don't have a car here. I need to go figure out a ride to get to such and such. And to be honest with you, just because day to day life is so much easier at home and kind of like overly convenient at home

tends to be overly convenient. Um, it's nice being down the road as it kind of the small things to do are actually pleasurable. I don't know how to I don't know how to over I can't really sell that idea to anybody. But if you just notice everything is where you're used to having it, and then you kind of get thrown into a different house in a different town every day. Um, you know, it's just it just changes your your routine sounds. I mean, it sounds like

you're it sounds like you got it down. It sounds kind of cool. It's an adventure. It's like being I've been on tour with yeah, my wife and her brother, my brother in law. Um, and it is it's an eventure. You have little many adventures in every little city, like something goes wrong, you don't know where this is and you have to figure this out, and it's every day is kind of a new little day. You get to the new venues. There's different staff, Um, different places have

you can probably attest to this. Some audiences in some places are exceptional and other ones you'll have to work harder to get them to feel some energy back from them. Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, there's certain things about it that are really predictable, but there's certain things about it also that they're they're completely uncontrollable, right, and so you know, and the reality is you can

give the same show, uh, tomorrow night. I think you give tonight and tonight's show people are next actolutely losing their minds and tomorrow night you may feel like, you know, they're you know, they're sleep at the wheel, but it doesn't mean they're not loving the show. Do you ever change the show set list from one night to the next night? Is a change? Yeah, well we'll alter some things and just to keep it fresh for ourselves up

on stage. Um, you know, you get the few maybe a first a few nights going give it a little consistency, just so you feel like you have your bearings then to begin, you know, making making changes kind of like learning anything, you know what I mean, Like learning an instrument, The same thing with kind of learning your set list, and than any technique. You learn your technique and then you start expounding on your technique, you know what I mean.

Same thing with same thing with the show the second you start, the second you get a few down and you're feeling you're really capable of it, that then you could start throwing throwing wrenches at it and uh, you know, and altering it a little bit here and there and kind of keeping it, keeping it interesting for yourself. Plus you know, there's a lot of revisitation, you know, with fans will come out. Some fans will come out to you know, one or two shows. Some fans come out

to ten shows, do you know what I mean? And just showed people who come out to eight shows, you know what I mean. So, and and you want to give them some variation so that they go, oh wow, that night he played you know, some song that they haven't heard in you know, ten years, you know. So, and I think I think you need to do that

right exactly we never know. It's like you played Chariot one night, or you know, I tend to play Chariot more often just because it was a hit, So you to play Chariot, I don't want to be not over you. Certain songs that are bigger hits, you try to you try to give those to your fans on a regular basis. Do you always save one of those for the core?

And do you leave the stage and demand the standing ovation to woo you you gonna love this, so so get this, so my so my first, my first big hit was was I Don't want to be right, I don't want to be And I remember I started becoming a hit song, and I remember I was getting all these gigs um and and a lot of the gigs that were coming were sort of, uh like college type gigs right and and which almost seemed like the jokers on me because I quit school and so you know

they're they be playing all these colleges, and I remember I wanted to change things up. So one day I go out and I played the song that's the big hit, um the first hit, and I played it like fifth song and by like the tenth song. They're like half as made people in there, and they showed up to hear one song. We got what we came herefore to see you later, sucker, you know, and so you know, but but you know, it's a little bit of a

learning curve there. But at the same time, you know, you you you must play certain songs at your show. The song is that of your biggest hits, you gotta play those. It's important. What's your what's your favorite song right now? To play the one that you just like might not be the biggest hit, but the one that you yourself enjoy singing the most most recently. It would probably be the most recent one. Uh, that I've been wanting to add to the set list for a few

years but haven't. It's called You Make My Heart Sing Louder, and uh because that was my mom's favorite song from my last record and uh yeah, now my mom is not around anymore. So it's so it was great to nail that one down in the studio or in the rehearsal studio. Um, I feel like we we finally we're executing it right, you know, to bring it out on tour this tour, will you will you intro it with that that it was your mom's favorite song and this is why you want to tell stories about the do

you get? It depends on the night, you know. Sometimes some songs you roll right through. Yeah, Sometimes you pick your certain moments in the show to stay, you know, if you if you find this is something that that's really worth telling. Sometimes you tell little bits and pieces throughout the show and you think, oh, that's not connecting or maybe I'm talking too much throughout the show and taking the flow from the actual show. You know. So there's that fine line right between um, the bits of

storytelling and the relatability stuff on stage. Uh, but also trying not to slow the showdown so much where they're like, man, this is a real snooze fest. If I thought we were too many story time, I would have gone to the bookstore, you know what I mean. So, you know, so you're trying to you try to find those sweet spots where you're we're the right times to the right

times to engage the audience. Have you have you thought about giving a shout out and being like, listen, if you guys like hearing me talk, download the How Men Think podcast? That's right, I mean, these arenas are packed, right, you do this I agree with you, and we should have a T shirt that tays Brooks sucks toes. Ryan will make one for me. That's right by the way

on your tour bus. Do you have do you This is gonna seem like a base on the side of the bus, doesn't I have like your autograph like that? That's you know what that says when you have your face on the side of your bus says I'm a big deal. I got my face on the side of a bus. Boom. It says, draw something in my mouth with the sharpie and on the outside. That's why Ryan was asking, you're gonna fly down there and do that?

So here's the real important question, um, or actually, I'm just excited to say I'll see you in a couple of days at that place where we're doing the gig together that we told that we said we wouldn't tell the other guys about you know what I'm talking about. So I'll be excited to see you there. But um, how come, how come we haven't actually been offered a

featuring gig on your tour. I thought we were good, or at least like maybe maybe there should be a day that you guys come at and we just sit on stage and we do an episode in front of the audience. So see what he did there. You see what he did there. That's a deflection. That's a classic. But I like this better. I'd rather go talking for the audience than go and sing. No. But he just said what he just said in in a polite way, was you guys can't sing worth? Yeah, no, he's right, though, No,

that's not what I said. What I meant to say was what I meant to say was what you guys show up. I'm gonna need some extra hands moving the gear, alright. But Ryan wants his face on the bus though, Man, absolutely, well, we all got sharpie. Be careful, be careful. What the portrait you put up? Man? I think yeah, I think that would be great. Come on out if you want to get up and we'll do a little jam. You guys play any instruments I do. I play guitar, I

played drums, and I play piano. Is that true? That's true? When I was seven, eight and nine, my mom said I had to take piano lessons. She took piano, and she said I had to take piano where I couldn't play hockey. So I learned piano at a very young age. And then when I turned pro, I was nineteen years old and a trainer in our room. His dad had got arthritis, and his dad played guitar and had nine guitars for sale. He was trying to sell his dad's guitar, and I said, I'll buy one, Just give me one.

All buy like I can make it. You're like I can make it. I can make a stick out of this. And then so that's how I picked up guitar. And then I used to go to the guitar center to get new strings and look at guitars and all that kind of stuff. And in the one day I was in there, there was a sale on drums, and I just bought a set of drums so I can play my drumming. I actually I love drums, man. When I had when I had drums and guitar in my basement in my house, I would go downstairs and I would

gravitate towards the drums first. I wish I would. I have never taken any lessons in in guitar or drums um and ended up giving them away when I left d c UM. But it's so much fun, man, You can lose yourself in music. It is so much fun. Yeah, absolutely, they say that. They say that, and I don't know if this is true, but they say that people who played drums and people who study martial arts that their brain actually rewires itself for for your limb independence. Oh yeah,

that's the first thing. You have to completely big time. Have you ever played drums? Have you played, like, sat down and tried to play those drums? Can you? I only do it for money, Um, it is, but you have to break everything everything, Like your limbs all move in sequence. They go up and down together, and you have to break that change so they can move in depends. He's a black belt on the snare drum. Oh yeah, um well, buddy, we appreciate you taking the time. I

know you're super busy. I know tour life is excited to talk to you guys. And we missed you at the lake man. I know, I know I missed you guys too. I heard all these stories. Um, I heard you and Dmitri had a nice little heard you and Dmitri had a nice little date around the lake. He filled us in on the dude. They started saying we had a romantic drive around the lake and finally I just gave in and I said, you know what, it

was pretty nice. That's it. That's it us. And uh, you know, a couple of solo cups and a bottle of Corbel. We got crazy and buddy and Buddy, that's it. Um, well, dude, we wish you the best. We wish you the best of luck on tour at some point, at some point we'll come out and see you. Um, just huge fan, huge out of your music. Um. Where can people get tickets for the tour right now? Where can they go?

I just go just go to my name Gavin to Grow and just type up Gavin to Grow on tour and you tickets right there and buy the v I P that's right by the v I P or not and just come on and take out the show man. It's all about the music. So we come out and we do what we do and we put some smiles on faces. We'll have fun. Man. We miss you, yeah, man, thanks, yeah, brother, miss you too, sugar man. Yeah yeah. Shout out to you. Amy. She loves you, she said she loves you. She misses

you too. Love she said she's kinky. Okay, buddy, travel safety Well, um, have a fun, have a blast out there, and for everybody else listening, take care of one another, love one another, and we will see you right back here for another episode of How Men Think Next week Licktoes. Yeah, hey guys, it's Brooks and one last thing before we let you go. If you like today's episode, we would love to get a five star review from you on iTunes and if you could possibly share it with a friend,

that would be amazing as well. We always look forward to your questions, comments, or insights, so you can send us an email at men at I heart radio dot com and also follow along with us on Instagram at how Men Think Podcast