8 Months Pregnant and Ryan Returns

have these two fine stirs here with me. I'm so glad we don't have to hear that the dead weight is gone, the three finest, the three hosts you all have been clamoring for our finally here Sands Brooks, Sands Gavin, and we're gonna have a great time today. Am I right? So we have a good show today. I have been summoned here um as a part two to an episode we did a few months back. When I gave my wife gave birth to our second child. I was in

a dark, dark state of mind, very st stout. Amy had told me it was unreasonable stress, but it was stressed nonetheless. Uh, and I'm in a similarly dark state of mind today. So Amy telling you your stress was unreasonable didn't make your stress go it. Actually it annoys me. Well, there are some dark clouds outside, so maybe it's part of that. I don't know, it could be. Uh, what are you worried about? What's going on? So I'll tell you. Okay, this past weekend, so our what what was our newborn

back in October is now four and a half months? Um, congratulations than four and a half months and you're still bitching. That is correct. And here's why, dmitri. So this weekend, Uh, a week ago, our two year old two and a half year old started puking. He had some stomach bug. Fine, we it was a twenty four hour thing. Luckily he got it through a system. All was okay. Three days later, I myself got sick, then my wife got sick, and

then this weekend. Uh, it all came to a head when it had been five days of our four and a half month year old who had been vomiting every single day for the past five days, and diarrhea. He was refusing any liquids whatsoever, was not taking his bottle. We were nervous because he was scary. He was dropping weight. He as a result of being severely dehydrated, he had no circulation to his hands into his feet, so his his hands and feet were both purple. Uh. And it

was getting stressful. So we took him to the pediatrician and uh. The pediatrician looked at him and said, look, you know, we need to get fluids in him, Try pedialyite, try rice water. I'm boiling rice and straining the rice kernels. I'm trying everything. Pediatricians said, Ryan, You're being unreasonable. The pediatrician actually was like, don't worry, guys. He's not severely severely dehydrated yet. He's on the way. But if you look in his eyeballs, they're still moist, so he's not

it's not dire. And I'm like, well, I don't want to get to the point where his eyeballs are dry. Stop it exactly. Um. So we on Saturday had to go to urgent care because he had taken in like three ounces of liquid in the past forty eight hours, which is really not good. That was affecting his sleep. He was not sleeping whatsoever because he was starving, and he wasn't taking fluids in because presumably his throat was hurting and he was puking anytime he took in any

liquor whatsoever. But what was it. Did he have a virus? Is that why he couldn't take into The pediatrician told us there was a stomach bug going around l A and it was such that because it was a virus, it's not bacterial. You can't give an antibiotic. Uh, there was nothing you could do. You had to just let it run its course. And with the other kids that had come in, it had lasted up till two weeks of every day vomiting and diarrhea. Well, I will say

number one, that sounds horrible. Number two, I hope you didn't bring any of that here. There was a lot of Number two. Okay, Well, I don't mean that, I mean the germs. Um. I will say this. My family got hit with the stomach bug. It was twenty four hours, but it was my oldest she got it, then my wife got it, then the next kid. So there was about thirty six to forty eight hours where I was

the only one that didn't get it. Where I was I think I threw up once, but it was non stop and I slept on the living room floor because it was the most central location so I could hear. I finally got the time of the sound down. Whereas like they come and tell me, like Dad, I think I want to be saying who, And I was like, don't tell me, just go straight to the bathroom. Believe me, I'll figure it out. But so I slept on the

living room floor. And it was like that scene in the Princess Bride when they're in that thing and they hear the popping sound and they know that the flame's gonna shoot up. I would hear one of the kids in the middle of the night, uh, and and I'd run and I'd grab him and I bring in the bathroom and I go and I laid back down after I got him all cleaned up, and i'd hear from like the other directions ship and I have to run.

And it was thirty six. I was just NonStop puking. Well, and you're the ld person in the out of the whole family, yet you want to stay away from it as far as you can because you know that you're an next in line to get sick. That's the other reason I slept in the living room. Flora, well, sometimes on the couch my daughter. My daughter had the same not really the same thing as long, but it was like a twenty four hour flu. But basically to your point,

Dmitri she was sitting on. She was like, my stomach careers, my stomach is okay, Well let's you know. So we take her to the bathroom kind of prepare and she's like she sits down on the toilet and then it starts barfing down on this floor and I'm like, what the hell are you doing? Like turn around like and then it's like, you know, everyone's screaming, and I don't feel bad for her and how old is the daughter? That? Yeah?

And so my what is challenging for me is like eleven, you can have you can communicate with her first and foremost, but like that didn't work though, But you're not worried about he doesn't talk to women so well. But but you're not fearing that she's going to die. And when when you have a four month old like that is a real genuine thought that we're having, which is like

he's not taking in any fluids. You go to urgent care over the weekend and they're looking at you saying, if you don't get something down impedially or whatever, which we had tried at that point for seventy two hours to no avail. She's saying, he's going to need to go to the e er and get an IVY and with a four month old, it's going to take seven pricks minimum to find a vein which is going to destroy his Okay, hold on, so that's not now we're getting to Ryan. That's well, no, that's not what they

said to you. No, with that tone and those statistics, that's you googling ship. No, that is exactly what she said. They so they said, and by the way, this is gonna take seven stabs in your son's arms. She didn't say it in that aggressive tone. She said, look, you need to you need to just keep trying to force fluids. I cannot impress upon but it was the drama after this. Now I'm going back to when you fake your own death with your doctor. This is that Ryan's coming out.

She said, I can tell you you need to get fluids down because if you don't, the next step is going to the emergency room. And what's going to happen there is the only thing they can do for this, because he's dehydrated and it's a virus, is they need to get fluids in him. The only way they'll do that is through an IVY. Is a wonderful story, but is a kid, Okay, he yeah, I mean it's been seven days. Neither of us have been sleeping like he's he's now taking in fluids as of yesterday. He's gotta

be here. He's gotta be better because you're standing here holding a microphone. So I imagine if he wasn't, he has gotten better as it lets you sticks something up on the web, you know what where the sun don't shut off for a four month old. But we need to get to the point of it all? Is that tell the story about when you went to o Hi uh a month or so ago, a month and a half ago, uh for my birthday. My wife and I decided, you know what, like happy birthday? Thanks? Oh yeah? Did

you get my card? That was from both of us? I actually gonna bounce back. It's an email. So I've heard all the advice from you morons and all the experts that have come on the show over the course of this podcast to tell me all the things I'm doing wrong and all of the things I need to do for my marriage and for our marriage and for my happiness and the balance we need to find, which

is all a complete joke. So what we did was we decided, you know what, like, let's heed the advice of all these people that have been telling us how we should live our lives. Great, here we go. So, because we have no family in l A, my father in law who lives in Colorado flew in for the weekend and was going to watch our two and a half year old. We were going to take the baby to two and a half hours away and spend two nights at this resort and just try to get away.

The two who said take the baby and that's how you're gonna feel better, nobody gave that. We we don't have someone that is able to watch a at the time, like three and a half month because because you're because you're a control freak, you're in Los Angeles. You can find someone to watch a baby. Correct in three and a half month old? You guys, you continue to like it's breastfeeding, jackass. I have four kids. Don't tell me. I don't know what a three and a half month

old is. I don't think you remember. I don't think that you went away when your baby was three and a half months. Uh, I think I did. Actually I think you can, but what was your thought process? Will take just the baby, and that will be easier on us. We my father in law is not going to be able to watch both of them. Our nanny that we have part time could not watch. She has three kids of her own. She could not take a baby. The panel will accept that answer. Continue with your story, except

who gets a nanny that has three kids? She's cutting up that because yeah, because Amy says, finding nanny's to help out her, it's so easy. It's such an easy especially now that we're limiting ones to those that have no kids. Continue with your stories so we can try to actually help you instead of just being like you're punching backs. Well, I'll continue if you allow me to. So, uh so we go away. Can wait till people email us and instagram US d m U S whatever. How

did the hell and defend me? Message us to give you some female to defend me and say we are so sick of hearing Amy, we do want feedback. Occasionally they say that as well. Continue. Okay, So we we decide we're gonna take our the newborn with us, and it will be half the amount of kids, and we'll be able to kind of like go away and you know, he'll take he sleeps for a good portion of the day. It is it's math. Uh, we don't need to dramatize math. So anyway, we pack up the car and we head

off for the weekend. Now again, it's supposed to be enjoyable, and we're going away to this beautiful place. We're gonna relax, we're gonna drink wine, we're gonna like hang out by the pool, do all those great things. Figure it all out. Now, I will begin by saying, the amount of stuff that you need to pack with a three and a half month old in your car for just two nights, is it a joke. It's absolutely an embarrassment. So with us, I mean, I'm talking about hours and hours of packing

up the car before we even leave. So in the car, I have to load a pack and play. Six bottles, the soap to clean the bottles, because you're doing six bottles a day minimum, a cleaning brush to to clean out the bottles, a car seat, a stroller with the bassinet, a car seat stroller adapter, the formula, diapers, aquifer, a thermometer, wipes, motor and baby biorn, stand up chair, a carrier baby born for him to sleep on our chest, while we walk around teething toys, blankets, a noise machine, my my

baby registry. I didn't have that much sho on. Why did you need two strollers? I didn't say too stroll at a stroller with the car thing and a stroller, one gets a flat tire. Well, sometimes the baby like to lay back reclined. Listen, here's the deal. If this was your first kid, I would give you. I would give you some room for for acting like this. This

is your second kid. The fact that you haven't made some cuts and and streamlined some stuff that's on you pal So the first morning that we're there, he wakes up at four am and is up. So we're awake now, getting a bottle made, warming the bottle. It's a human that has to live like yet conflated about God, When was the last time you woke up at four am? Sometimes I do. She's more of a go to bed for you. I'm kind of so that does putting you that So that's putting you in a dark place under vacation.

No one. The argument that he's not a human being, I'm stating a fact. He woke up at four a m. So we get up at four am. These are facts. We get up at four am that my wife starts making the bottle and warming the bottle. I then ache in an espresso machine in the room, each of us a coffee. And but that sounds fun. It's an adventure right there. You didn't correct me if I'm wrong. You didn't go on this thing with a three and a half month old and think we're gonna sleep till noon. No,

I didn't. But it's nice. You got up, you made coffee, So that's an adventure. So we're in the room having our coffee. She's feeding the baby. I'm now waiting till five thirty am when the lobby will put out the lobby coffee, which is the good stuff, and I can walk through the darkness to the lobby to get the five thirty am coffee. Does anybody else here think he makes it hard on himself? Yes, I think I'm not

blaming it all on you. But that's why I was trying to pick apart some of the stuff by the bathroom and then to get It's like, then I could get the good coffee. It's like, sorry, guy, you've got two kids. Good coffee is out the winter comes. What are you doing Amy then from four am, Like, what what are you doing if everything is so great at four am when the baby's up? Like what do you want me to say? How come you didn't take turns where one of you takes the baby in the other

one sleeps. You're in one room, like when you're up and the baby's crying. Like the baby's crying, you're both up, that's life. No. I think it's nice that you made an espresso and you guys so I don't know, watch something like why why does it automatically a thing? By the way, you went for two days. When you get up at four am and you're up for the whole day, that's like you had a week's vacation. You love the amenities at the hotel. I'm just trying to here. Here's

my point. Maybe if you changed your attitude about it a little bit, things could turn because you could be like, we're up at four it's it. I wasn't never seen the sun rise. I'm simply I was not miserable. We we ultimately, we had a good time and it was nice to get away and break. That's not how you tease the story. I heard the story was like, well, way do you hear what happened in OHI and frankly it sounds nice except for missing your two and a half year old. All right, we're gonna take a break

and I'm not done, just aggressive like I needed. It's it's you're aggressive break. It's Janina from Love Insight, a new I Heart Radio podcast all about the TV show Love Is Blind? Are you addicted to Love is Blind? We are here to satisfy all your Love is Blind cravings and if you haven't watched yet, join us everywhere you listen to podcasts for everything you need to know. Do you want to find out how Damian and I got back together? Yep, I'm the girl that got left

at the altar. The Love is Blind cast will join us, telling us things they have never revealed, and you get all the behind the scenes, all the details, all the never seen footage, and the ultimate question, can and experiment like this actually work? Is love truly blind? And I Heart Radio is bringing you every little nugget Love Insight available now everywhere you listen to podcasts. Welcome back to how Men Think? Yeah, this is Ryan here and I have an entire team of people around me who are

against me. I feel isolated. I feel lonely and I feel botherable. But look at it this way, you don't need to go to therapy. Now I am going to lose it on one of you in this next segment, so alright, let me just end buy this amy. Like the last two things I want to say are so we get through the coffee. So yeah, like we get through the face of all. It's like, okay, lunch, Like the place is amazing. It's been like we've been on the air for how long and we're to lunch exactly. Yeah,

try waking up. We're on the trip with them, so you and Gavin didn't show up tonight. So you order this great lunch by the pool. This like lobster salad with crab meat and everything, and like you're just praying. You're at the adult pool and if the kid starts crying, then one of you has to leave. Whyre you with the adult pool with a baby. That's the only place that they serve lunch, the only place they serve lobster role.

Here's the problem. You aren't willing to give up everything that you need to make your life special for like you you want everything to just work together, and it just doesn't you know what, Maybe you have to go to a different pool where there's other kids screaming and playing. Maybe you can't have a lobster rule for lunch, like you gotta give shut up, man, don't mess with my lobster role to Maitri. Uh So, like again, you just

fast forward throughout the day where you're trying to time naps. Okay, he's gonna go down at two. I can wear him on my chest and the baby borna two when we walk to a winery. And then but when we get there, he's gonna need to be fed. So like you're logistically planning all those things, and then you're you're like, okay, he's gonna go down at six thirties, so we can

get room service. Call that in a five. And then you're eating right when he goes down, and you just scarf your food down, and you're like, we look at each other like do we want to watch something right now? Like no, because we're gonna have at four am tomorrow, Like it's seven now, let's just go to bed, Like

that's the truth. Honestly, I see what you're saying. But here here's what I think I think you in your mind, identify all the things that normally make you happy, right the lobster roll, they DoPT pool, to this that dinner ordered it five. All this stuff makes you happy. The problem is you're trying to fit it into a space that doesn't fit it anymore. So you're actually causing yourself

so much anxiety and so much stress. I get that you like all these things, but I think you'd be happier if you some of them, brought some of them down and fit them into what works for you. Now. Maybe, like I said, maybe don't go to the adult pool with a baby. You probably were clenched for he wound I've ever. But the other thing I will say in Ryan's defense, like or I don't know if it's an inc but you're in a storm of your life right now.

You have a two and a half year old or three and a half year old and a four months and it's like, I'm surprised you're even going on a two day or one night or two night or like that's buckled downtime. I don't even know what you probably don't even know what time it is during the day. You know, it's like life sucks, and it's like it's hard in your spot to recognize that because you want to have a lobster role and you want to sit by the little pool. So you're complaining and you're miserable

while you're in that space. But on the other hand, you're in that space and you should just be accepted of it. It is. It's it's a crazy time for you right now, and that's that's maybe that's why I'm being such a jerk to you right now, is because I appreciate that you're trying to figure out how to make it all work. But what I'm saying is, yes, no, you're it's a crazy time, but you just stop do this. We're gonna come back to you because I've got people

coming to help you. In the meantime, we have our friend Emily who is eight months pregnant and she's been listening to and now she's terrified. But she's got some serious questions that she wants men to answer about being pregnant, giving birth, Like we're talking did I poop on the table? Stuff? And the first like, let's say three to six months right in your wheelhouse, So let's do that, and then

we're going to come back and help you. Perfect. She was seven months pregnant before you started the O hi story. Now she's eight. That was actually, can someone make a note of that was the first funny thing Dmitri seven weeks weeks? You haven't been here in years? Well exactly? Can I just start with where I am? And then like progressive it? Did? You? Guys ever, just get over your wife being pregnant, like she's had the hall pass for nine months and you're just like you can't take

it anymore because I think I'm at that stage. Uh yeah, I mean it depends, honestly depends on what you're doing, like your behavior. So I have four kids, and there were sometimes when all the way through it was like this, she was great, but there was a couple where I was like, Okay, you know what, now you're like just not to be a jerk, but you're just you're bitching a little too much, like listen. It's uncomfortable for sure, but I mean, you know, you gotta work both ways

on this one a little bit. I actually I kind of enjoyed my wife being pregnant to play Devil's advocate there because she was wanting to go get like fried chicken and pancakes and stuff like. I put on the weight with her, and I was happy to do so like it we like we were just on a food tour around the city with her craving. Her cravings became mine, and I was like, yeah, let's do this, like nine months, let's go. That's so true. It was so fun. We would do this exact same thing, and the better part

of it. At the end of the night, she would go to sleep and I would stay up and then start drinking and playing video games all by myself. It was awesome. That was a little bit of alone time. Yeah, I agree with that. I did enjoy the pro but I think, are you asking like now, yeah, but now it's he got sick over the weekend and I was a terrible nurse, and then every little thing I've done has been like wrong. He's got like a short fuse, and I think he's just over me getting my way.

Are you married to Are you Ryan's wife? That's not I mean it's number one. You should if you're eight months pregnant, you shouldn't be his nurse. If he's not feeling well, you far away from him, And I said, sorry, Yeah, he needs to go quarantine. Himself, and my trip to China last week was great, though, um, did your poop on the table? Everything? I don't want to ask that, but I want to know. Every girl needs to know. So this comes from that. You hear when you give birth,

you're pushing and poop comes out. So mine did not. But I have a friend who she was, my good buddy of mine. His wife was That's all she was terrified about, like anything about the anything about the delivery. She was like, I just don't want to do that that. I'm never going to get over if that happens, that happens,

I can never get over that. So she's in labor doctors there and all of a sudden, the doctors just yells still, and she's like, oh my god, and she's like she's almost good about my buddy's telling she's almost about to cry. He's like, oh my god, I can't believe this happened. All of a sudden, the nurses running over with a stool and the doctor sits down. So apparently she did not, but I obviously it does happen.

That was good. That was the second funnal. My wife had a C section, so I did not experience any of that. My wife did not. She did not either. She did poop on the dining room table. Why don't you just going what? You know? What? Why don't you just go in the morning before you got So is this something you're afraid of? I think every girl is afraid of it, I'm sure, but I would be totally

afraid of it. I feel like, in my face if it happens, just be like that was here when I got here, and it's the same way you would in the restaurant, hotel along those lines. Were you guys up

top watching the berth or did you watch it? I gotta say I had an uncomfortable so with four, I think I've been everywhere, but there was one where I was not prepared and I was up next to my wife's head and all of a sudden, the doctor was like, here, come here and grab her leg and I was like, I don't think I'm like I had a button down on. I was like, I don't think I'm prepared for this. It's like sitting at a Laker game and all of a sudden they just turned like, come here, you're in

I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. So he had he had me hold up a leg, and I mean, I was I saw it all did you? Um? Was he doing that because he needed your helper because he thought it would be a cool experience To this day, I don't know. No, he may have just been screwing with me and been like this guy is just he's just standing here with his eyes closed. You should you should probably get involved. So I see. Yeah, So, um, I've been, I've been all around and um, it's it's fine.

It's nice. It's nice to see the baby being born, but it is it is rough. I mean, there was one time I thought I saw a jellyfish come flying up, but I guess that was a placenta. The placenta on that Like I was by my wife's head and I was doing like, you know, blowing in her ear or something. Uh, And there was no poop that came out on the table, but the placenta when it came out, I will never forget it right in life. It was like a jelly fish. See.

It was massive and like purple and red and they catch it like a garbage bag and it's like what it was like moving like it was alive or something. And I was like I had never seen anything in my life like that. It was horrifying. It was like you think it was your kid At first, No, no, no, the kid came out already. But I thought it was like the kid had a water bed or something in there and they were getting rid of it. It was

it was weird, man. And then I'm thinking, like, people make pills out of this and they bury it, they cook it. I was like, take it away. So on that note, a lot of men, this is real faint or vomit during the birth. It is actually common. I know a story of a guy who really he started to get tunnel vision and started passing out and throwing up. Do you do you have anybody like that? I didn't

throw up. But on the second from from my second kid, um, I hadn't eaten, so I got ridiculed for eating the first time, even though they said the men have to keep their strength up. So the second kid, I didn't eat. And then when she was born, she was the only one that we didn't find out whether she was a boy or a girl. Um, so there was a lot happening at that moment, and they were like, it's a girl. And then I got a little woozy and I sat down for a second. They were like, do you want

to cut the cord? And I was like sure, and I stood up and I was like, whoa. My knee started buckle. So they sat me back down and then it was fine. But the some might think this was an embarrassing moment. A few minutes later, you know how they give um. I don't know if you know this, Emily, but after you have the baby, they're gonna give you like a nice cocktail, like a it's like a juice

like it's like a long island nice tea. It's like a long island to say, without the alcohol, it's just a whole bunch of juices to really give your sugar back. So I remember after my daughter, my second daughter was born, after all that happened, I looked over. They had handed me one of these drinks with the bend destraw and I look over. My wife has one and she's just glaring at me, like we both have the recovery cocktail, and she's like, what is wrong with your an embarrassment

to this family? So yeah, um, that's helpful. I feel like my husband might pass out, so embracing myself, they'll doesn't he want to have a week's stomach or does he Like, I don't think he's prepared for what he's about to see. We took a birthing class and he was more queasy than I was. Yeah, like we were both in the corner just kind of fidgeting, but he was really I was super nervous. My wife had a C section and I was in like another little separate room before they let me go into the clean room

or the operating room. And I was just in there and I was just like sweating, and I was like breathing hard, you know, like deep breaths, just I could go in and be regular. And I went and sat down, and I was like, she's like crying and all, you know, drugged up from the medicine. And I was just like, holy what did I walk into here? You know? And then all of a sudden and there's like a sheet up. So I was near her head and there was a sheet up, and then all of a sudden, the doctor

was like, you want to see what's going on? And I was like sure, So I popped up and I looked down and it was just like orange, like just a giant cut orange blood like would you want to? I thought, that's the point that and then no, because they were they were going to pull the baby out. So that's like, we're about to pull her. We're gonna pull the baby out, and so I'm looking over and then they just start pulling the head out and everything. I was like, oh dude, what is that like? And

then they like to turn around. I was like, it's a boy, you know. So we got to that point. It was really exciting. So have we up? Do you feel ready to have a baby? Now? The closer I get, the more scared. I guess that's take a quick break because I have a lot more questions. All right, we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be back. Welcome back to how men think. Thank god Brooks and Gavin are not here. May I remind everyone of that. We have

Emily here with us, who is eight months pregnant. Welcome, Thank you. Emily's welcome. She's been here. We just talked to her. Okay, is this your first baby? That is exciting? And are you what is worrying you the most? The birthday? I think the actual physical part of the pushing and then just exhausted when get home. Yeah, like for years and are you. One thing I remember with my wife is like I think we were trying to go like all natural, and then all of a sudden she was

past her do date. I think it was my son was supposed to be born on April twenty, but he ended up being born on April or May one. Um. But she never thought in her mind about having a C section, like that was never a question. And then all of a sudden it was like getting later and later, and then finally we went in for the last checkup on a Friday and they're like Monday morning, eight am, come on in doing a C section, and it was

like whoa. And it was actually, in all honesty, we really enjoyed it because we had our second child the same way. But we liked it because it was like we knew when we there was we I guess I could say we didn't get to experience that like, oh my water broke, I'm at the supermo. How do you get the bag? You know, the movie stuff, But um, we already had everything ready to go. The family was, you know, my parents could fly up, the family was in town. It was it was awesome. It was are

you anxious at all? About the that moment and do you have a plan in place for when the water breaks? They're inducing me. So I'm hoping I make it that long because then I know I can get my nails done, I can get a blow out and look good and be prepared. It's it's if it comes to weeks early, I don't know what I'm going to do. So how did you I'm sure your harold looked great afterwards as well. Did you make the call on being induced or did

they tell doctor, yeah, got it? My well, our first we the water broke naturally, and like we had more of that moment of like, okay, we gotta go to

the hospital now. The second, my wife is very Type A and so she was like asked our doctor, can we schedule an induction at the earliest possible time that it's safe, so as to plan, like because we have to have a family member fly in to watch the two year old all that, So we knew, okay, we're gonna be checking in at like six am on Tuesday, and like had the backpack ready to go, and it was we checked ourselves in. It was so much less stressful.

It all four of ours were natural. It happened when it happened well, and I feel like even like our son was born at ten o'clock in the morning, so like we had are like it started out as a regular day. I mean, you're still up every single two hours feeding and as once the child is born. But we were It wasn't like we went into the hot

the water broke at nine pm. You're laboring until one am, and then the baby is born at three and you're like, you're just up you know ship creek to begin with, right with that, So it was more the baby was born, we went to our room. We were sort of like started the process of the breastfeeding and you know, taking care of the baby and the nurses and spending the night and everything, and so we had to stay four nights. It was at four nights or three nights. I think

it was three nights four days. Um, so my wife could heal because sections twice as long as you're a high vacation there you go, do you know what time

you're gonna be No, not yet. I would the morning to me to that point, like Aree, and from a staffing perspective, you if you begin in the morning, you have a new shift of nurses who are fresh, who you're the first person that they're dealing with, completely fresh good night's sleep, as opposed to being like at the tail end of the first shift and having a change over and like passing the buck like I want fresh people. First thing. Heavily stress right now, dude, you're stressing her

out like the first thing in the morning. It's gonna be great no matter when what this is exactly. I don't know if you've heard the first part of this show. Okay, he was talking about all his vacation that he and his wife went away with the baby and the and the point was my point that I was trying to tell him, was stop stressing about everything. It's better if it happens now, and if it doesn't happen, then you canna think, oh my god, it's not happen in the morning.

That guy Ryan told me it's better in the morning, because don't worried. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. So yes, maybe morning is great. Just listen, go in have the baby. If it happens at night, it happens a night, it's going to be great. You're going to be so agostatic it's it's amazing, Like, yeah, at the end of the day, I won't really know the difference, but still leading up to it, it's the anticipation. I'm kinrying like out, what else is on your mind? What

are you what else are you worried about? Okay, when when we get home and I'm going to breastfeed, but I don't want to do it like I can pump and have my husband do a bottle. How do you guys feel about getting up at night? Because I'm afraid that the argument is, well, I have to work tomorrow, you don't can you do all the nighttime feedings? Which I think is sort of crap because I will be working the next day to just not at an office,

you know, like I'm on maternity leave. But I feel like you're working with I mean, yeah, no. I when my brother when we had our when we started having kids, my brother give me some advice and he said, listen, enjoy that. So when she's breastfeeding and that's all that she's doing, enjoy that time because once it shifts to a bottle, then you're on the clock, and you're on the clock whenever she needs you to be on the clock.

If there's a bottle, then you'll So I remember with the first kid, middle of the night, she'd get up and I get up and I, you know, walk around the bed and pick up the baby and hand it and the baby tour and stuff because he had nothing else going on. But when there's at to Ryan's point, when there's another kid in the house. So when the second kid was around, when she came around, it was like, all right, well, I'm not gonna get up because I'm gonna have to be fresh in the morning. So you

know you're gonna shift that around. But yes, if you have if you're to the point we're using bottles and he can feed the baby, then yes, and he and I think the other thing is I don't get it never felt as programmed where you're like, I'm going to breastfeed and then all of a sudden, you like turn around and you pivot to the pump machine and you're you got a stockpile of milk, right Like, it took my wife a while to get the milk in and so we had to actually use some other formula and

then until that got done, and then and it was breastfeeding, and then we finally got to the point where there was enough where we could pump and store some and then I was on the night feeding. But like you think, like, okay, boom, this is how it's gonna work one, two, three, It doesn't like naturally like it's just it's different. Yeah to that, you just got to kind of play the game and see how it goes. I think what you find out is that you finish breastfeeding and then you're like, Okay,

now I'm gonna pump and bank that. But you're like that's gonna take you another thirty minutes to pump a bottle's worth when you just want to go to sleep. So you're like you get to the point in I don't know how far in where you're like, okay, now is when I have the bandwidth to like sacrifice sleep

for pumping. But it's a it's basically just my wife felt like she was a cow where she's like, I'm just I go from breastfeeding to them pumping, and then by the time I finished pumping, it's time to breastfeed again. And it's a never ending vicious site. And it also depends on how much the baby is eating, because if you if you breastfeed and then you pump, you're gonna be like, well, all of a sudden, the babies, you know, wants to eat again, and you're like, well, I don't

have anymore because I fed and pumped. So then you know, your husband goes to give the baby the bottle and you're like, no, I pumped that bottle so I could go out to lunch with my friends later. That's my stowaway bottle. So then you start to be like no, no, So it's eventually the baby's gonna stop eating so much and you'll be able to stockpile some but until that

point then it's going to be mathematical, mathematical. And to that end, I would say the benefit to the bottle feed as opposed to the breastfeed is that you can actually measure the volume intake. Like I became obsessed with like, okay, how many ounces do they need to be taking in? When you have a bottle, you can see there are three or four ounces in this bottle, whereas with your breast you're like, okay, they were on for ten minutes on each nipple, how much have they taken? I have

no idea, Like sometimes they're just there. I don't know what you call like sucking without taking it in, and it's it's they're not getting the nutrients they need and you never really know. It's um. When did you start to have sex again? When did you want to and when was appropriate for your wife? Oh? Yes, Tori producer, Tori. When did you at what point of pregnancy do you start feeling weird having sex with your pregnant wife? Fellas, it's it starts off once she's showing, it starts off.

You start you get that thought of, well, there's a kid in there, I can't be in there as well. I think it's hot, no, but I think it's total But then it becomes that. But in the beginning you're like the old the old joke of I don't want to like poke it in the head or anything. So in the beginning it's weird. But then you get past that and you and then it does become kind of hot. It becomes hot, and I also feel like it. It's not where you're like, do you stop wanting to have sex?

I think you always wanting to have sex. I mean, at least I did. And it was like more her being like okay, like I can't even put my shoes on, Like the last thing I'm doing is taking my clothes off and having sex. Even though you're like, well, honey, you look great. I love it. You know. You don't try to sell say anything to make her happy. It's just like her comfort level. It's less of like us being like, no, I don't want to have sex because

she's probably and that was the same with me. It's like she didn't feel great starting at a certain point where it's like I'm not going to force the issue, like she doesn't feel good and she does not want to have sex. So and did you have any weird like things after the baby was born about having sex again, like my kid came out of there and now I'm gonna like put this thing in there. It all depends

on where it does. It does depend on where you were standing during the delivery that I think that alters the time for sure. Um yeah, but I think by the time she's ready to have sex again, I think you're past anything that any thoughts that you've had that made you hesitant. So really it ends up being on her clock. I think it's on our clock. And we're dumb man, and were you just want to have sex and I mean, we don't really care when and what it looked like. We just want to have sex. So

that's my answer. What about afterwards though, Like I feel like on the way up, you're you're having you have a belly, and you're sort of supposed to so it's okay. But after I have the baby and I'm like deflating, I'm not going to feel hot or I don't. But that's why we said it's completely on her timetable, because I don't think you're gonna want to have sex for a little while. You can't for a while. But I'm saying after that point, I'm not going to be back

in like tip top shape. But I don't know how I'm gonna feel about that is going to be closed. Well, you're not supposed to have closed. You can always put the drapes up. Listen. If having sex with was was based on when people are in tip top shape, the three of us would never have sex. I mean, look at us. Such a good point, Dmitri, that is pretty good. God, as a co host, you're crushing it. Thanks buddy, It's just an honor to be here. Anything else in your mind,

Emily can ask one more? I do Okay, I said, I have my husband's turning forty two months after I give birth, and he's like a big birthday guy. And I've sort of set the table. Are you sure your husband's that Ryan? That is very true. So I've sort of planned the seed, like, if you want to do something, you have to let me know now, because once the baby comes, who knows. You're not gonna be planning a boat cruise around the harbor with a new ones to go to Pebble Beach and leave me with a two

month old. And I don't think that that's very cool. He wants to have a guys guy. I think you might be all right with like get out of here and have your mom come down. No, I actually think he's got two two bachelor parties leading up to that. I don't know. I think at two months, you're two months old, you're going to be like, get out of here, your mom's gonna come, and you're just gonna my my question.

Was his mindset going to shift because right now it's all about his birthday being the best birthday of his life. I think Amy's wrong in that point. I think yes, when he sees the baby and the whether a girl or what. He's going to be so ecstatic. He's gonna want to be with the baby. You and I do remember going to work and then like texting my wife and be like, what's she doing now? Like the baby. So he will be a little more tached. He'll still

want his birthday. But I agree with Amy, I think you might be better off to be like, listen, the bachelor party. Sorry, he's got to cut out something. Maybe the Bachelor parties that. I can't weigh in on that because that seems a little too much. But if if he wants to go have a forty at Pebble Beach, I honestly think you'd be like, get the hell out of here. It's me and the baby. Maybe you have

a relative come or friend. I can't. But then at two months, did you hear Ryan's on a road trip at two months or a boat trip, a road trip? Road trip? You Sorry, I've been blacking out most of the times you talk because it's so inane and ridiculous.

That's who's been leaving those comments. So no, at two months, like you, you are in the zone where you you have at that point developed a system that Okay, the baby eats x number of ours, like you're feeding on a clock, you're sleeping on a clock, and getting them on the road to do that. You're trying to get on that clock. And you're not even on that clock.

You're too after two months now you're in you don't even know what day it is, you don't even know what's going And you don't want to go to Pebble Beach at two months. No, you don't, honestly, and this is not us Like doing your husband a solid send you don't have to plan a forty I send him away for the weekend. By the way, at two months, you don't want the kid around a bunch of other people on a road trip, like you're kind of trying to insulate them from the outside world. Yeah, you're gonna

get home. You're not going to Pebble Beach to have scones and sit around. So you're not gonna bring a baby. But if I were, if I were him, and I feel as if in many ways I am him. Uh, we're all of question the the weighing it out going to Pebble Beach, Like the guilt when I was there would be so crippling that it would not be enjoyable.

I would be there and and you have given me permission to be there, and I'd be like just feeling horrible that you're at home alone with the baby, and maybe your mom flew in, but like I would have to be chicked. I'd call you and tell you it would just be miserable. Don't do it. Don't do it alone. Yeah, I mean that's a huge ya. Don't bring somebody else in for sure, But do this. It's a bankable moment. He's gonna feel guilty. You're gonna, I mean, this is

his forty birthday. Is gonna be a great present for you. Welcome back to how men think we are all against Ryan, and we have Christie here to be against me as well. She is our resident dietitian. She is also a mother of two, and she's here to help. I'm told Christie, welcome, Thank you, thanks for having me. We need your help. Okay, I'm here right. Ryan needs your help, and we, by the way, we did give you the hosting responsibilities. Thank you.

We're not all against you. Yeah, and also against you because of that, maybe don't introduce the guests with such snark. No, thanks for the tip. I'll remember that, so Christie helped I. I would say I have a lot of issues. I think maybe that's an understatement, but one of the things recently that I'm experiencing is like, we have two kids, Uh, like you am the weekends For me, I go through the entire work week, busy week, busy week. The weekends are supposed to be, in my mind, the time to

recharge and go into Monday feeling good. I am more exhausted by Sunday night than I am. Like it's there's no recharging whatsoever because it's full on all weekend long, and I don't know how to solve for that. So is it sports? That's no. We have a two and a half year old and a four and a half month old, so he's basically like my wife has been taking the four and a half month old and like at all feed or two and a half year old

at seven in the morning. He gets up at six and I'll take him out to the park at like eight, and then I'm out till eleven thirty to get him home to get lunch ready for I think you said it a couple episodes ago or a while ago. The best way you put it was I bring the older kid to the park and I run him like a dog, And all I think is, I can't wait till he passes out for a nap, because then I'm getting all I am doing. I live my life looking at the

clock saying, okay, how many hours till nap? Then it's nap. Then you're like, how long is he going to sleep for this nap? Then he wakes up from that? How many hours until we get through dinner and bath and then get to put him down? Well, first of all, you're not alone. I think every parent feels that exact same way. But here's what I would suggest. Do you

when he naps? What do you do? I try to get his dinner, Like I'm trying to get ahead of the curve to get his dinner ready so that when he's awake and he's wanting to do go scooter around the block and play te ball in the front yard,

Like I don't have time to make his dinner. So I'm doing that, trying to help get bottles ready for with my wife for the four and a half month old, trying to like pick up all the toys that he left all around the house during the time that he was awake pre nap like there's a laundry list of things trying to do laundry. By the way, when you have a kid that still naps, you gotta you gotta nap because eventually that'll stop it, or just rest like so you're getting ahead, but then all you're doing is

free got more time to do other stuff. I'll tell you. Let me tell you what. He doesn't have to go around the block all the time. Throw him a toy in the living room and make a bottle. Here's what I do the most of the time. I don't take a nap because my wife I'm trying to give her. I'm trying to give her some sanity, and she will go to yoga. The one thing she gets to do all day on the weekend, on the Saturday and Sunday is at one o'clock go to yoga. She does it

at one o'clock to help me. Because I've said, having both kids at the same time, I want to kill myself. I think I'm going to have a panic attack. So when the two and a half year old goes down for his nap, I can just have the four and a half month old. When she goes to yoga, and I'll strap him to my chest and literally pace up and down my walkway outside because when he's crying, I don't want him to wake up, the two and a half year old to screw my entire freaking day. Wow,

that's loaded. Um, I kind of agree. I Mean, the bottom line is I hear what you're saying, and I think it's awesome. What a great husband that you're trying to relieve your wife of. You know, give her a break, But you also need that for your sanity. You're you're gonna be a better dad, in a way, better husband. So somehow, some way, I mean, I can start way

early and go to a meditation point. But there's something you have to be able to do for yourself to kind of decompress, Like you have to be able to because that what you just described sounds like hell. And if that's your weekend, every weekend, you're not gonna be You're going to fall apart. Here's the challenge. It's one

of the other. So it's like, Okay, take a nap. Well, I want to also, so my wife will give me the same time she goes to yoga, Like she'll give me in the morning time an hour to go work out, and I'll choose my time to work out, which is also good for my sanity, and I'd rather do that than take a nap. So it's one or the other. So it's a trade of like, what are you gonna choose. I'll choose to work out, otherwise I'm gonna be more miserable than if I don't take a nap. Do you

take any deep breaths during the day. I know it sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but to be honest, and I'm not being a dick. You sound so wounded, like t take a deep breath? Man Like you're like, You're like, if I don't do this one thing, what I'm supposed to do with this whole thing is going to fall apart. And it's not true. Agree, Christie, What were you asking box breathing? Do you know what box breathing is? You should try this? That was we did that during four play.

That's how we got you stick your stick your head out the bag. My wife says, I'm a great box by okay, one, probably not true to that's not what we're talking about. Then for five, hold for six and it's one one thousand two, one thousand three, and then you breathe out slowly for eight. Maybe not into the mic five six eight is that? But you you have to find a way. I agree with you. You're you're just running completely on not enough energy, that's for sure.

But it's just it's constant. So, I mean, there's not a lot of solutions. My biggest solution is going to be got to find time to just decompress during the day, like you are with the kids, even if you have to set them down like they're the parent guilt thing of giving them a toy and be like, hey, I'm gonna just be over here. You don't have to interact with them all the time, like even those little bouncy things.

Do you have that for the four month old? Do you have any like a little seat that he can just chill in for a bit. Yes, okay, But I was ridiculed for bringing that to our weekend trip away, being told I brought all these unnecessary things, but thank you for bringing that up. That's the most important thing you could ever bring with you. Ridiculed your wife, know all you morons told me that I brought too much in the car and I didn't need any of you

know that you bring. We're talking about bringing two strollers and a pack and playing a back and the stand up. The standy thing that Christie is saying is, let's let's clarify the standing thing that twirls around, that huge plastic thing. You don't need to bring out your vacations if it's a little tiny bucket thing that you you move with your foot while you're it's. Yeah, you pack like your favorite china that you like to eat, your lobster, roll

on like you went overboard. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Any questions, older guy, you have to do it like, Yeah, I got a question. Why did you refer to the older guy? Maybe why are we in the same graduating class? Oh my god, that's amazing. I'm sorry, I meant people with older children. Rick, what is your question for Christie?

I don't really have a question, but but um, I do travel quite a bit for work, and so sometimes when I come home, or a lot of times when I come home, it's really challenging for me to kind of then put myself back into the family, even with my wife, but also with my kids. And so she's been dealing. She's been doing stuff, but like I'll come home and I probably sound a lot like Ryan, where I'm like, I mean, why why is that? Why is that over there? Like what you know, like why are

the why is? Why is aren't the not? Why isn't the laundry done? Because that sounds really bad, but like why is it the laundry done? Why you've been You've been dealing with my kids for the last eight days while I've been traveling, you know, like, but it is something that's hard for me, and so like re entry is super hard, and even with my kids, it's like I'll come home and I was just on a trip recently and I came home and it literally was the first day and I was feeling good about the re entry.

I'm like calm, I was nice with everybody. And then my son came home and he's thirteen, and he was like, all of a SUDDEN'M like, hey, you gotta you know, you gotta clean up your room. And it was like I started kind of bossing him around, Like what I not bossing, I'm just telling him to do stuff right like I would normally do. And he's the first thing you said to him, Now when you know, no no, is that not the definition of bossing? Confused? I gave him, I gave him a hug and was like, hey, clean

up your room. No no, But he was like, Dad, every time you you're away, you come home and you think you own the place. And I was kind and it hurts by the way, you are kind of his boss too, and you do own the place. That kind of go through my head. Yeah, And so it's hard because I'm trying to ballo where yes, I'm also trying to pick up the slack of where my wife maybe left off, where it's like, hey, I'm coming in to

try to help you. Now his rooms like a mess, and now I'll buckle down on it and get it done for you, and I'll start helping him. Well, he's got to do it. That's good because totally backfired. There's nothing worse than coming in and being like the kid's best friend after the wife kept it together for eight days or whatever, because then she's like, then you come in and you're the Yeah, exactly, and she's the disciplinarian.

It's good on you for trying to do that. See, my thought was and looked by any by no means my a parenting expert. So let's just get that clear. I'm gonna have a ten year old and a twelve year old. But what I would say in that moment, because he's clearly telling you something right when he's like, Dad, what do you think you're doing? I don't know at what point it went from warming up like hey, how is the week? How did you know? Like that kind

of thing into clean your room? But I would think that if there was some good like communication, like let's sit down and I want to hear about that game or what happened in school, like really warming up to him and connecting first, and then be like, hey, buddy, I just noticed, would you know, instead of yeah, like a little bit softer versus kind of I think he probably feels like you haven't even been here all week. Now you're coming in and just telling me to claim

my real dad. Well well, and I mean, I don't know if exactly how it went down, but I'm just like, and the other thing is it's coming back from an international trip, like I didn't sleep the whole way home or get travel international. You're a big deal. No no, no, no, not at all, not at all. But I'm exhausted as well, so it's hard to come in and then like you know, I'm and then I come in and that that interaction happens, and then I might go sleep by nine o'clock. By

the way, I don't think. I just feel like kind of a dead beat dad. But as long as you're not coming in and yelling at him, in my opinion, like just because you were gone for a couple of days doesn't mean you don't come back in the same role as to where you left. So there should be nothing wrong with telling your kids to clean up. And just because you haven't been around like you were going for a few days, if you're coming in freeman at him,

that's a different story. No, and I wasn't. Here's the other thing, which is maybe a little bit layer deeper, where I feel like my wife is giving during that time, is like sure, you guys want ice cream, Let's go get ice cream. Yeah, sure, you don't need to do homework, you know, And so like I'm coming in even with that layer of like anxiety or whatever you want to

call it. That's what I said back, And I'm like, well, it's easy for you because your mom gives you everything when I'm gone, you know, and so then it's like, wait, did I just come out Ryan? You're off the hook, dude. That's more of a this is more of a marriage type of problem, because that would be that would be a real big issue. Have you too talked about that?

Like they don't speak this year? She says, since I've gone back from my trip, she said, let's talk about it over ice cream, And no, we haven't quite talked about you because that is really difficult if there is that, you know, where she's kind of doing everything and catering and not really setting down some boundaries and rules, and then you're coming in and trying to set some when you haven't been home. That that's going to make it

real for sure. But I mean, I don't know do you when you come back though, in terms of just that connection and when you're gone, do you FaceTime with the kids? Like what's the interaction while you're away? Yeah, I know that's a great question. I do FaceTime with him.

I did call him a lot more than I normally did on this particular trip, um, just for I don't I think I was a little bit gone longer than I normally am um, But yeah, I was communicating a lot more and checking in a lot more and that was good good, and those conversations go, well, they're very great, Okay, okay, awesome.

So was it just this one time that he's like, Dad, you think you're coming or is this kind of a pattern where you come back from a trip and it is sort of this like the Dad, I mean, I'm kind of getting into it and surgeon it's a pattern, but it's also I think like my behavior pattern where I'm coming in, I'm tired, I'm exhausted from a trip to travel, things aren't I'm super overly anal and so things aren't totally exactly how I like it, and so that I'm like, I start getting stressed and well that

may be something you and then I'm taking it out on you might have to let go of though. That's the other part two of like you come in and everything is not like then you're already you're exhausted, and you're annoyed by the fact that things aren't the way you left it. That kind of stuff might just have to by the way, we kind of felt that today.

We kind of felt that way, like you came in like you owned this place, and that's why we're like, you know what, give the lead, Mike Ryan, because Rick's acting like he owns a place he isn't like where everything is. And yeah, some of the small stuff you just gotta like you know what I mean. But you sound like a great doubt dad. Honestly you really do. Not a great husband, but a great dad. The marriage

could use some work, but the parent. The good news is his wife is a big fan of the podcast and she'll listen to this all and she'll she'll be so appreciative that you that you've already had the conversation before we go. Yeah, I need you all to do something. We need you three to go home and talk to your wives because they are going to host the show. My wife left me. I've already talked to Rick's wife.

She's in. Can you guys ask your wives because we are going for Mother's Day which is coming up soon, we would like them to take over. So can you get back to us on that. Sure, I'll see what I can text her right now. Oh, she said no, so it's a Mother's Day episode or it's on Mother's Day because I have a separate thing about Mother's Day, Like is that really a holiday? Hey? Control free don't. Hey, you're not our for her for what? Like for fathers, do you want to be with your family? Or it's

do you want to be by yourself? Like do you want that's a great question, Like for Father's Day? Do you want to be sent away for it's Father's Day. I'm gonna go play golf with all my buddies and get hammered. I can't be half and half. I think I would want exactly No. I would want to do something with the family, like do brunch, have like a nice brunch or something like that, and then I want you to send me to a spa for the next

couple of hours. So I would I would prefer to a married people the people in the world that really don't care to spend time with their significant other, Like wouldn't you want to maybe just have a babysitter for the kids and then you go out with just your husband? Oh yeah, no. See, married people don't like switch time spend time with Like yeah, I'm kind of like I'd rather be with the kids and Kurt versus just me

and Kurt. I don't know, I don't get a nast We will continue all these topics, but next week is sex, So everybody, everybody, go home and have sex. We gotta talk about sounds like my marriage. Alright, Hey, Rick, Ryan, go home and have sex so we can talk about it next week. Be ready, guys, because next week is juicy. Wait, Ian, can you do the sign off since Brooks isn't here. Yeah, I'm trying to harness myner Brooks. Uh, this has been

a great episode. Thank you, and remember to care for one another, love one another, touch one another, and you hold one real quick. We miss something, Christie. How can people find you if they want to get in touch with you? And Uh, she's not great at she's not, but Brooks always says, that's always and nice. Thanks for thinking of me, by the way, that's very kind. You have an Instagram. He rolled his eyes after he asked the question. It's just not an Instagram business Instagram. Let's

wrap it up. She's she's she's old. I would say Cam Sports Nutrition dot Com. Too complicated. All right, that's see you next week. We'll see you next week. Tell all your friends to download this episode. We want more listens than any of the ones that Brooks has hosted. Okay, tell your friends subscribe, unsubscribe, resubscribe, unsubscribe, and resubscribe. Okay, we need Brooks out. Goodbye everybody,