S3 E12: Power/Control

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Springfield's most prolific serial killer was found dead at 3.15 this morning. Caleb Gutierrez, aged 57, was pronounced dead at Springfield County Penitentiary after guards found him restrained in the prison library. Cause of death is currently unknown, but Gutierrez's body is being transported for an autopsy. Gutierrez, formerly known as the Springfield Reaper, terrorized the town in the early 1980s before eventually being caught and found guilty on seven counts of first-degree murder.

He was sentenced to over 140 years in prison with no chance of parole, thanks to the maximum penalty during his trial. Family members of Gutierrez's victims had previously called for the death penalty. Something not conducted in Springfield since the 1960s, Gutierrez served only 35 years out of his sentence. Audio Media presents How I Die.

Dr. Spacer? Mendez. Uh, what's up with all the officers? We've got an important autopsy for you. Oh? Crowley didn't fill me in on anything. I'm filling you in now. Right. This is Springfield County Penitentiary Warden Buffett. Warden Buffett. Nice to meet you, Dr. Spacer. I hear you're the best. More like only. But I'm here. What can I help with?

Have you been watching the news? I don't have a TV. Oh, yeah, that's right. This prisoner was Caleb Gutierrez, one of our highest priority inmates. He's a former... Actually, just because he's caught doesn't mean he's former anything. He's not a recovering addict. Well, I don't have a psych degree, so I'll trust you on that. I just push the bodies from one place to another. So why does the county want an autopsy on an inmate? Seems like a waste of funding.

We don't think his death was natural. I like to know for certain what's going on inside my walls, and my medical staff is less than partial to Mr. Gutierrez. See that you aren't swayed by your findings, and keep whatever they are confidential until we speak. Understood? Of course. Good. Corrections Officer Cook will be happy to accompany you throughout the day.

Dr. Spacer, I need a watchdog. Easy, Doc. The SPD has a great relationship with the county prison. You're our biggest supplier. Look, let's just keep things on the up and up, okay? And everyone stays happy. Right. I'll, uh, get started now. You mind if I... It's your rodeo. Ah. Okay. Is there anything else? That's it. Give me a call when you're done and I'll come back.

Thanks, Mendez. Hey, Mendez, real quick. Do you know what's up with Crowley? I gave her your files, but I haven't seen her since. Why? Isn't that weird? Yeah, I think she's avoiding me. It's fine. I'm avoiding her, too. Got it. Listen about the other day. We don't need to talk about it, Doc. Are you sure? Dr. Spacer, it's fine. We're not friends. The other day never happened. Dr. Spacer.

Sorry about that. So, what's it like to be a security officer in prison? We don't need to talk. Sure. Yeah, well... Just as a heads up, I sometimes talk to the body just as I'm getting my bearings. Sort of helps with the autopsy. Just pretend I'm not here. So... Caleb, right? Let's see if we can figure out what killed you, huh? Caleb, over here. By your very subtle eye movements and head nods...

I'm assuming you can see me. Mm-hmm. So far, so good. Interesting. You know, I thought no one would notice me again. And we can't talk because of our little, uh... Watchdog, right? Fucking officer cook. I'm gonna begin with the external exam. Again, not here. You know, he can actually not be here. How? Look at that. Just tell him to fuck off. He's a lazy son of a bitch anyway. Likes to sleep on duty. You know the type. Doesn't deserve the power he has.

You know, Officer Cook, there's a doctor's lounge right across the hall. They have a sofa, snacks, all that crap. I'm fine here. How fucking prick. Look, I can't concentrate with someone looking over my shoulder. If this is so important to your boss, fuck off into the lounge and let me do my job. No one's going to bother me and I won't tell them you left the morgue. A sofa, huh? Wow.

You know, I didn't expect you to really tell him to fuck off. I don't have time to mess around. I need to know your cause of death ASAP. We've got another more pressing case to worry about.

Oh, no. No, no. There is no other case more important than mine. Warden's order, right? Yeah, well, I've been working with the Sheriff's Department on catching a serial killer. Oh, a serial killer, huh? Hmm. Maybe I can help. How? What? You really don't know who I am, do you? Dr. Spacer, was it? John. Ah, a pleasure. You can call me the Reaper. Excuse me? I'm the Springfield Reaper, kid. Come on, you know who I am. I'm not from here. I killed seven people in the 80s.

I mean, I bet this new killer doesn't have me beat. I mean, there's nothing in the news or anything. You're... You were a serial killer? I am a serial killer. So, uh... What's the body count up to, Doc? I'm not... I think we should stop talking. I'll focus on the exam. No, no, no. We are going to talk. This is Dr. Jonathan Spacer on case... 3698 Caleb Gutierrez. I said we're going to talk. I'm beginning the external exam. Have you ever done anything?

Bad, Dr. Spacer. I see a few ligature marks on the neck. But nothing significant enough to cause a break. It looks more like... You know, I used to open people up. Mostly young boys. Mostly for sexual pleasure. Stop. Oh, I made him mad. I'm not engaging with you. And whatever you say isn't going to scare or intimidate me. Ah, you're probably right. I mean, you're the only other person here who knows what it's like to be elbow deep inside someone's stomach.

Have you ever done it while they were alive? If you talk to me, I'll tell you exactly who killed me. I already know. Why do you want to talk to me?

You know, jail isn't too great for serial killers. At least not ones like me. See, I was doing a lot of reading in jail. Mostly psychology books. Did you know there are four types of serial killers? No. Oh, yeah, yeah. See, there's visionary, mission-oriented, hedonistic, and power-slash-control killers. I mean, I wish I was the visionary or the mission-oriented kind. You know, they're a lot smarter, better at planning, and harder to catch. You're just the perverted kind.

Don't fucking diminish me, John. Otherwise, I'll keep you here and annoy you with stories of all the things I did. You said jail isn't kind to serial killers like you, right? Meaning hedonistic. Maybe a little bit of power and control. You can't intimidate me with the crap you've done. I guarantee I've seen worse. And that's probably also true of the other inmates.

No one was scared of you, were they? Like I said, I've done a lot of reading. I mean, I've come to understand myself better. Mm-hmm. Sure. The warden was wrong. You're totally reformed. It wouldn't matter anyway. The whole system is corrupt. They're not trying to reform anyone. Oh, boo-hoo. You don't think you should have been trapped in there?

I shouldn't have gotten convicted in the first place. There wasn't enough evidence against me. Right, because you were so smart and careful. Thought you said the mission-oriented killers were better organized. I got appointed a state defense attorney. I told him what I did, and that bastard ratted me out. Seriously. That's fantastic. Oh, fuck you, John. Do you know Grant? He's district attorney now. I do.

DA Grant was your defense attorney? Fresh out of law school. I thought even shitty people like you were covered by attorney-client privilege. Well, there may have been some extenuating circumstances. Like what? In a fit, I might have told him that I planned to keep killing and even had someone tied up in my basement at the time.

Apparently that information let him flip and turn me in. And now he's a prosecutor. I love that. But he's up to shady shit again now, apparently. This podcast you're listening to, it was once... Just a dream. A dream that became reality not by accident, but because someone decided not to let the what-ifs keep them from creating something they believed in. Starting your own business is a dream lots of us share.

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I can't say that I blame him, though. I mean, if I had a high-powered job, I might not have killed. That's the thing with us power seekers, apparently. Usually we have such little importance in our daily life that we seek out power in creative ways. So... What type of killer is yours? Mission-oriented, I think. She injects victims with poisons. Ooh, she. That's even more rare. What's the mission?

The sheriff isn't sure yet, but I think it's to kill people who lived through the 1989 storm sickness. Oh, God. Mission-oriented serial killers take all the fun out of it. I swear. Yeah, all the fun of killing people. You know, you won't know the rush until you do it. Who said I never killed anyone? Oh, so you do get it. No, I don't.

There was no fucking rush to it. It was the worst and scariest moment of my life. And the only reason I'm able to talk to you is because the other guy isn't. Well... There's your first mistake. Killing another grown adult. You're disgusting. Yeah, I know. Keep it going. How much do I disgust you, John? You're only 57? Stress isn't good for the skin. No, I mean, you said you killed in the 80s. That would make you like... 22 when I was caught. You killed seven people at 22 years old.

I was a prodigy. I wasn't sounding impressed. But you kind of are, right? No. You were just so young. You had your entire life ahead of you. So did those little boys. Stop fucking saying things like that. You know, I just can't when I get a reaction out of you, John.

You act so big and tough, telling me you won't be upset by the things I say, but there you go. Being afraid of me. I'm not afraid of you. You're powerless. I am never powerless. Can I get back to my exam now? Don't bother. One of Mendelssohn's goons killed me. Came up behind me in the library with a belt and strung me to the door like a suicide. Fucking dumb COs couldn't tell it wasn't.

I thought the ligature marks looked too shallow to be suicide. I'll have to find more evidence to prove who did it, though, even if I can show it was strangulation. Don't bother! They're lifers anyway, and the warden doesn't care who. He just wants to know if it was drug-related. Was it? I mean, technically. I owed Mendelssohn 20 Vicodin, but I took him all myself.

God. Don't use the Lord's name in vain. You turn to religious in prison? You better hope there's no such thing as heaven or hell. Huh. Hell can't be much worse than prison. Oh, come on. Yet a library, leisure time, a place to sleep and eat. If there's anything waiting for someone like you after this life, it better be much, much worse than prison. As long as I get to keep being me, I'll be fine wherever I go.

And what if there's nothing after this? What if this is the last moment you'll ever be, you? Then it's just darkness, with no one to intimidate, no way to make yourself feel powerful. Then I'll stay like this forever. You don't have a choice, Caleb. Don't call me that. You can only stay as a ghost for so long. Your mind will slowly start to degrade and then you'll forget whole moments of time. You'll start to forget who you were.

What you used to enjoy. Because everything from now on will feel like nothing. And that slight tugging feeling inside you, it's going to get worse. Every second of every minute you're still here. I don't feel like a part of you is somewhere else until it's almost all you can sense. And one day, probably without you knowing, you'll just slip away into whatever's next. No matter how hard you try.

Hmm, and who slipped away from you, John? I'm going to take pictures of the external exam before cutting into you. Hmm, was that for me or the mic? The mic is not on right now. Oh, look at you getting your power off at your day job. I don't need to feel powerful. Sure you do. You've been fighting me for dominance this entire conversation.

And I wonder why it is you got into this career at all. Was it to feel important as the last person dead people talked to? I did it to help. I'm a good person. You know... Good people don't usually have to tell themselves they're a good person. I was saying it to you. Oh, I barely exist at this point, John. And you need to defend yourself to the ghost of a serial killer? Somebody's insecure. So...

Who did you lose? Who fucked you up? Mommy? Daddy? Both. Dad was a piece of shit like you and killed my mom. Oh, so you got to watch her suffer like you just described. Hmm, I bet that hurt. I told her to go. It wasn't her. Oh, someone else then, huh? Oh, don't stop on my account. I can keep going. Little Johnny boy saw his mommy die and then was all alone. I bet your dad went to prison, right? Unless...

He was the one you killed. Did you kill Daddy and avenge Mommy? No. Maybe it was someone else. a lover you killed your girlfriend and then regretted it and she stuck around for you to cry and apologize over and over but on second thought Nah, poor Johnny was too traumatized after killing someone. He'd never break a rule or do anything bad, would he? Fuck you, you spineless waste of oxygen.

If you were alive right now, I'd kill you myself. Oh, but then you'd have to relive the scariest and worst moment of your life. What? You killed kids to make yourself feel better because you are nothing. What the fuck is going on in here? Are you yelling at a dead body? Jesus. The warden asked you to be impartial. I'm calling him and taking the body back. Zip him up. His chest is... Zip him up. Oh, this is amazing. I bet you feel nice and powerless now, huh?

The cause of death was suicide. What? I finished the exam right before you came in. It's undeniably suicide. I'm sure your prison doctors will find the same results. He took the coward's way out. Fine. I'll let him know. You fucking liar. How does that feel, Caleb? The famed Springfield Reaper took his own life. I'm sure it'll be all over the news. I hope it costs you your fucking job. I'll let you in on a little secret. I don't care if it does. I'm sick of this.

I can't do this anymore. I ran away from a part of me, and it feels like it's always coming back. I got kicked out of Hopkins for conducting an unauthorized autopsy on my ex because his death was ruled as a suicide, and I knew that it was murder. I can't help but fuck this stuff up. Every opportunity. But he's who stayed with me until he couldn't hold on anymore. So maybe it's worth it. Maybe I'll give up my job in a heartbeat to do what needs to be done.

Well played, John. Well played. Enjoy your power while it lasts. John! Crowley?

You didn't hear me talking, did you? Jesus Christ, you look like crap. Where have you been? Don't fucking touch me. Are you okay? I got attacked by Joy. I was drugged and struck to a fucking table. You escaped? Barely. No phone, no walkie. I ran through the damn woods. Why here first? The building is nearby. Call Mendez and have him round up a squad. Now, Spacer! Seriously, you know where Joy is. Better than that, I know who the bitch is. It's...

The finale of Season 3 airs next week, and we finally get our answer. I know, I know, the cliffhanger. But now's your chance. Who is Joy, and what do you think of the reveal when you hear it? Tag us at HowIDiedPod on social media with your answer or your reaction, and we'll send you a free sticker after the finale.

How I Died is an audio media original production created and written by Vince Dijani, directed by Chroma Sikora and mixed by Eric Howell. This episode was edited and sound designed by Christine Dijani. Our theme song was created by Silent Mike. Starring me as John Spacer, Shana Waring as Sheriff Crowley, Luis Bermudez as Eric Mendez, Vin Vox as Dr. Kim, and Caitlin Roberts as Amelia. This episode guest starred Jarrett Griffiths as Caleb Gutierrez.

Brandon P. Jenkins as Officer Cook, Michael New as Warden Buffett, and someone as Joy. If you're enjoying the show, please head over to your favorite podcast app and give us a rating and a review. It really helps us out a ton and we definitely appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time. Alright girls, this is the place. We'll get everything loaded over to the boat and we'll lock up the truck. Don't leave anything behind. Wait, is that it? That's where we're going?

Yeah, that's it. Seal Skin Rock. Wow. Return to the mysteries in Don't Mind, Seal Skin Rock. Subscribe now to catch the premiere, and we'll see you on The Rock. Hi, we're Meg Bashminer and Joseph Fink of Welcome to Night Vale, and on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the golden age of television. To do that, we're watching the IMDb viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows. the episode of Star Trek where Beverly Crusher has sex with a ghost.

The episode of the X-Files where Scully gets attacked by a vicious house cat. And also the really good episodes too. What can we learn from the best and worst of great television? Like for example, is it really a bad episode or do people just hate women? The Best Worst, available wherever you get your podcasts.