¶ Intro / Opening
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¶ The Quest for Springfield Corp
I'm not finding anything on purple bodies in these medical journals. No, this is not normal DCOM. Jeez. You know what? Let's try something else. Springfield Corporation. Wow. They actually have a website. Bunch of generic pictures of people working, scientists, factory workers. It's super basic. Honestly, it looks like stock photos.
How about the About Us? Springfield Corp. was founded in 1862 with a passion for science and development. Today, they work in the private sector as a government contractor. Government contractor? Like, with the US government? What are they working on? All it says is science and development. But I guess with a name as generic as Springfield Corporation, I shouldn't expect much, huh? There's a contact number. Well, here goes nothing.
for calling Springfield Corporation the leading developer of scientific advancement since 1862. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Seriously? If you know your party's extension, you can enter it at any time. For contract bids and opportunities, press 1. For product information, press 2. For our public relations department, press 3.
The public relations department is experiencing higher than average call volume. I bet it is. Please stay on the line for the next available representative. Paul with Springfield Public Relations. How may I help you today? Hi, Paul. My name is Jack. I'm looking for information about Springfield Corp. Well, firstly, what is it exactly that you guys do? We develop technologies for the advancement of scientific research. Right, I got that from the website. I was just wondering what that means.
means exactly what I said. But that doesn't really say anything, does it? Are you familiar with an incident in 1989 where a part of a facility exploded and killed three employees? An agreement? Do you know what that was? No. Well, what was the reason for the explosion? And what did you say your name was again? Uh, Jack. Huh. Well, maybe Crowley was right. I really don't know what I'm doing. Let's try again.
¶ Unveiling the 'Bubble' Project
for calling Springfield Corporation the leading developer of scientific advancement since 1862. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Product information. Hmm. Please say the name of the product. What was that thing that Mike told me about? The bubble. I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Can you try again? Bubble. And where did you hear that term? The bubble? It's not a secret around here. Around here meaning...
Street. It doesn't matter. I'm surprised anyone from that Springfield area is calling us, to be honest. I thought the deal was pretty clean. I mean, you're all supposed to keep your mouth shut. A deal? With who? I'd imagine whoever gave you the information. Obviously. Keep up. Probably not. But let's see.
If you're calling us, you're obviously both curious and naive. Or perhaps you just heard this term or found a stray document we forgot to clean up. In which case, I've gone and made things worse. Oops. That's fine. Yes, we have a lot of fun with our whistleblowers. So, what do you want to know? Just as simple as that? Well, of course. Yes, it doesn't matter now anyway. It won't be a problem for very long now that we know there's one to solve. How do we solve a problem like? Hmm?
Okay. What is Springfield Corp? Boo. Gotcha. Oh, please. That's your first question. Oh, bless you. Maybe, yeah. Maybe he shouldn't even be considered a problem. More like a prankster asking you if my fridge is running. No, no, no, no. You need to do a little bit more research first. Call me back when you do. I'd love to talk. Extension 1174. Are they all? What the fuck?
¶ Decoding Coronal Mass Ejections
Okay, back to doing some basic research. The Springfield Corp. website is absolutely no help, but then again, I wouldn't expect a shady organization to tell you on the front page, Hey, we killed a bunch of people and caused immeasurable environmental damage to a town before we left. Alright. Let's backtrack Springfield corp bubble project No, nothing also figures 1989 world events. Too many. March 1989. Lowest unemployment rate since 1973.
Time Warner is created. That's interesting. Probably unrelated, but... Oh. March 9th, Eastern Airlines files for bankruptcy protection. March 13th, a geomagnetic storm causes a collapse of power grid across the hemisphere. Geomagnetic? That's what Mike told me at the facility, right?
A geomagnetic storm, commonly referred to as a solar storm, is a temporary disturbance of the Earth's magnetosphere caused by a solar wind shockwave and or a cloud of magnetic fields that interacts with the Earth's magnetic field. Disturbance that drives the magnetic storm may be a solar coronal mass ejection or a co-rotating interaction region, CIR.
A high-speed stream of solar wind originating from a coronal hole. The frequency of geomagnetic storms increases and decreases with the sunspot cycle. During solar maximum, geomagnetic storms occur more often, with the majority driven by CMEs. That means almost nothing to me. But I guess that sounds right, right? The bubble was supposed to help dissipate the geomagnetic frequencies or something. Hmm. Reports in Canada of a nine-hour power outage.
Screwed up military plans in Australia. That sounds huge. Why was this not a bigger deal? The storm forced legislation that power grids must somehow be protected from solar storms. Equipment would be continuously tested since 1996. Geomagnetic storms have been monitored in a joint project of NASA. and other government contractors. Now that is actually interesting.
¶ The Truth and Its Cover-Up
Thank you for calling Springfield Corporation the leading developer of scientific advancement since 1862. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. If you know your party's extension, you can enter it at any time. For contract bids and opportunity... Extension 1174. Hello! Hi, it's me again. The guy you love? Yes. It's not like we have nosy people calling every day. Mr. Nosey Bonk. What was your name? What was yours?
Jack. Well, Jack, you can call me king. I think I'm ready to talk. Oh, good. Good, good, good. Me too. Yes. What is it that you do at Springfield Corp? Oh, come on. Again? No, I mean you specifically. What is your job? Dealing with whistleblowers? Oh. Hardly. I'm the Director of Laboratory Operations, also known as the King of the Lab. Hence the nickname. Oh, you're a smart one. Good job.
You're not even going to tell me your real name? But you're not telling me yours. I mean, how can we establish trust if we're lying about such petty things? The relationship? My name is John. Levant. Maureen Levant, but I go by my last name. You can Google me all you want, but... Well, you won't find anything. You, on the other hand. Hmm. Well. I thought we were establishing trust. Oh, fair enough. Fair enough, John.
Okay, well I suppose I'll only look you up if you become a problem. So, next question. How did Springfield Corp get involved in solar flare research? And why here? Mass ejection, first of all. Solar flare. Such a basic term, you know. Primary school stuff. Okay, but how did it get involved? Our founder has, um... Let's say a bit of a stake in the research. Don't you mean did? You were founded in 1860-something. Fine. Did. Let's just say the passion...
Lives on, John. The research I did said that the US and Canadian governments were spearheading the research. Springfield Corp. became a government contractor. No, no. No, Springfield Court is spearheading the research. The government just likes to take the credit, you know? I mean, we started long before CMAs became an issue. And your work is too?
What? Prevent more from happening? They'll never stop, John. We aren't trying to stop them. It can't be done. Instead, we're hoping to use their power for good. And dissipate the effects of a CME using a product called the bubble. That was our most recent attempt, yes. And what happened? Well, it didn't work, John. As I'm sure you know.
Do you know the ramifications of what happened here? Do you? I... What do you mean? Oh, John, I have to go. We'll talk again soon. But... And clear out your internet history. There's a good boy. Damn it. Thank you for calling Springfield Corporation, the leading developer of scientific advancement since 1862. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. If you know your party's extension, you can enter it at any time. Ah, extension 1174. This number has been disconnected.
If the geomagnetic solar flares were happening across the globe, people knew about them. Springfield Corp. is apparently a government contractor, and they were building the bubble to help lessen the damage of the storms, so... Maybe they didn't have any bad intentions to start. Maybe the bubble accident really was just an accident. But then why the cover-up? Why is it such a big thing to hide from everyone around here?
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