The phone rings. It’s your friend who says, “I have cancer.” An email pops into your inbox. The subject line? “Bad news.” Your Facebook feed consistently shares stories of pets who have crossed the rainbow bridge, people who unexpectedly lose their jobs, or parents, spouses, or siblings who are having a rough time. Our question this episode: how do you respond to hard situations when you don’t know what to say or are afraid of saying the wrong thing? Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC. More information ...
Feb 01, 2019•17 min•Season 1Ep. 21
How we talk to one another is directly connected to how we feel about ourselves: our self-worth, our willingness to be open and vulnerable, and our self-compassion. We can show up more fully for others when we show up fully to ourselves. But unhealthy ego, fear of humiliation, and isolation can stop us in our tracks. The antidote is community and connection. Our question this episode: how can we hold conflict creatively in order to build stronger relationships? You’re in for a super big treat to...
Jan 24, 2019•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 20
We’ve all heard the phrase “jumping to conclusions,” but have we really stopped to think about how that jumping happens? It’s a phenomenon that we’ve all experienced: We see something, our brains quickly search for evidence that supports or refutes what we see, and we draw a conclusion. All of this happens in a split second, without even being conscious of it. The end result is often an assumption, which can lead to misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, or worse. Our question this episode...
Jan 16, 2019•19 min•Season 1Ep. 19
We all know people who exaggerate, or take liberty with the facts or know how to bluff their way through a topic they know nothing about. There are times when we might even be that person! After all, our memory isn’t perfect, and we do the best we can to remember things as they happened. But there are some people who don’t have that same desire for truth. They create their own truth, and they’re set on convincing you that you’re the one who’s wrong. There’s a term for it: gaslighting. Our questi...
Jan 02, 2019•17 min•Season 1Ep. 18
It doesn’t matter what kind of group it is. It could be members of a family, office, church, book group, or knitting circle. All of us have at one point experienced the person who sucks the oxygen out of the room by taking over the conversation and basically holding court. Our question this episode: how can we break the spell of the dominant talker without causing conflict? This is the question submitted through the online form by Suky, who wrote: I would consider myself an introvert, especially...
Dec 19, 2018•16 min•Season 1Ep. 17
We all know that the words we choose to describe situations and experiences tell a story about how we see the world. Are you a partly cloudy or partly sunny type of person? Is the glass half-empty, or half-full? Are you "so busy" or "keeping busy"? The words we use might shift depending on our mood, but most of us have a leaning towards either optimism or pessimism. While I don’t want to say one is better than the other, I’m going to say it anyway: healthy optimism, combined with a dose of healt...
Dec 05, 2018•22 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Many years ago, I was chatting with a work colleague when she brought up that she and her husband were separating. The relationship had several challenges, but guess what was an ah-ha moment for her about the root of their problems? Neither of them knew how to argue. Growing up, they rarely, if ever, saw their parents in conflict, so they thought conflict was to be avoided at all costs. Unfortunately, the cost was their marriage. How can we learn to model healthy conflict for the benefit of our ...
Nov 28, 2018•30 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Watch your tone … it’s advice we’ve all received at some point, most likely when we were children and saying, “I don’t want to” to a parent, or “give it back,” to a sibling. As adults we still have to watch our tone, as how we say something is as important as what we say. Tone takes on new meaning, not just the attitude, but the pitch and timbre. How can we be powerful communicators by using our words and our tone? How you convey your message is just as important as the message itself. Voice Coa...
Nov 15, 2018•39 min•Season 1Ep. 14
There are times when we feel stuck in our communications, that no matter what we say or how we plead our case, we make zero headway with the other person. We’re so fixated on what we need and want, we forget to consider the other person and their needs and wants. What are some ways we can turn that around and create a situation where everyone gets what they need? This episode features my lively conversation with guest Kwame Christian, who offers us some awesome insights on how to connect on a me...
Nov 07, 2018•35 min•Season 1Ep. 13
When I get nervous, I can talk… and talk and talk and talk. It’s really embarrassing sometimes, and I don’t know how to stop myself once I get going. I’m sure the other person is bored to tears or wishing I’d just shut up already. But I can’t help it. Or can I? Is it possible to gracefully stop our rambling and get the conversation back on track? In this episode, I respond to a listener question about what to do when you find yourself talking too much, as well as start an exploration of what rea...
Oct 31, 2018•19 min•Season 1Ep. 12
It doesn’t matter if they’re down the hall or across the street: being in community with other people can be hard work. We’ve probably all experienced a noisy neighbor or inconsiderate coworker who doesn’t seem to be aware of how their actions affect others. How do we address those problems with the people we live and work with in a way that doesn’t make things worse? My guest is Derek Pratt, founder of 4ward With Progress Inc. Hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More information at www.howcanisaythi...
Oct 23, 2018•36 min•Season 1Ep. 11
There are times in most relationships when we’re faced with one of two situations: we feel a need to protect ourselves, or we feel a need to protect someone else. Every once in a while, especially when it comes to giving feedback, those two things can happen at the same time! How can we act in a way that establishes boundaries while still being kind? In this episode, we take a look at two listener questions: dealing with negative people and sharing difficult feedback with a colleague who’s havin...
Oct 17, 2018•21 min•Season 1Ep. 10
In an ideal world, relationships that end would do so clearly and with no loose ends. Each person would walk away feeling like they’d tied a nice neat bow on the matter. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and endings can be messy and feel incomplete. What do we do when we are left with lots of loose ends and no one to help us tie them up? In this episode, we’re going to do a deep dive into a listener question about how to find relationship closure alone when it’s not possible to do it together...
Oct 09, 2018•15 min•Season 1Ep. 9
We’ve all found ourselves in arguments where we reach a stalemate. Neither person seems willing to budge on what they need, and frustration builds instead of goes away. After all, what I want is what I want! Isn’t that what I’m arguing for? Well, it turns out there’s more at stake than what we think. And one way to get past the frustration is to find out what that is. What are some ways we can get at what really matters in a disagreement? In this episode, I’m joined by mediator Veronica Cravener...
Oct 03, 2018•30 min•Season 1Ep. 8
There’s a time and place for everything, and that includes emotion and intimacy. Most of the time it’s clear when we can show emotion and wear our heart on our sleeve. But sometimes, especially in professional environments, it can be more challenging to know how to respond when a clear need for empathy presents itself. We want to connect as human beings while still respecting boundaries. What’s a healthy way to walk that line with people we care about? Leadership Coach Grace Judson joins to me t...
Sep 25, 2018•35 min•Season 1Ep. 7
How can we offer our perspective in a thoughtful way that doesn’t put someone on the defensive? In this episode, we’ll be looking at some listener questions about telling it like it is to someone you care about, intergenerational conversations, and lopsided friendships. Submit your question and find more information about this podcast can be found at howcanisaythis.com. Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Sep 18, 2018•28 min•Season 1Ep. 6
I welcome etiquette consultant Arden Clise to the show, and together we respond to listener questions on giving and receiving sensitive feedback, as well as how to establish boundaries when you value your privacy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sep 11, 2018•31 min•Season 1Ep. 5
Conflict coach Cinnie Noble joins me in conversation about what constitutes healthy and unhealthy conflict. We also offer some perspectives to a listener that's dealing with passive-aggressive behavior. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sep 04, 2018•28 min•Season 1Ep. 4
This episode features listener questions about how to gracefully exit a client relationship, tell someone their help isn’t needed, and extract yourself from a TMI conversation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sep 04, 2018•24 min•Season 1Ep. 3
Psychologist and author Laurie Helgoe joins me to talk about dealing with bullies and narcissistic types. We also respond to listener questions about someone who won't take "no" for an answer and how to connect with others as an introvert. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sep 04, 2018•38 min•Season 1Ep. 2
In this debut episode, we jump right into the fray with a conversation about how to bridge the political divide when you're talking with someone who thinks very differently than you do. My guest is Kern Beare, founder of Pop the Bubble , an initiative born in the wake of the 2016 election. After taking a cross-country “conversation road trip” with his son Will to better understand the source of our divide, Kern created a workshop called “Difficult Conversations: The art and science of thinking (...
Sep 04, 2018•30 min•Season 1Ep. 1
