Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the swinging lifestyle. Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences. While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their relationships.
Remember everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on this adventure. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. I'm Russ. And I'm Ashley. And this is Hot Couple Chronicles. This is going to be a fun one. It is. I'm so tired. Well, do you like my shirt? Yes. There's a story behind that we didn't tell with the secret. We didn't tell a lot of stories.
Once we came home and we really started talking about more things, like, oh my gosh, we should have said this. We should have told the story about this. I was like, there was some really hot moments that I was remembering, and then I was like, ah, I wanted to do more details about that. But that shirt has, if you're watching, that shirt has a lot of history. If the mayor is watching this, I got your shirt on. Yeah. We had stickers that we had.
It has the same, like, we have stickers made that has the same thing on it. And I gave him a sticker and he gave me a shirt. Yeah. Well, first you were like, I got stickers that have that on it. And he was like, that's so cool. And he's like, give me, here, you need the shirt there. Yeah, I went and got him a sticker. Oh yeah, you went to the room and got him a promise. And then I gave him a sticker. He's like, take my shirt. He's like, I'm not taking your shirt.
And I was like, no. And we handed it back to him and left. And then later on, saw him again, and then his wife was like, take the shirt. So then he has the shirt. I love this shirt. We now have the shirt and stickers to go with it. So yeah, that was a little start. It's a secret shirt. But this episode. Yeah, it's going to be fun. I want to break it up. It's been really serious. It's been real serious. It's been really serious. We've had some deep topics.
And we have some more deep topics coming. So I want to do something just fun, something laid back, something funny. I want to hopefully have some laughs and maybe learn some more about us. And maybe it'll be a good time for us to hang out and talk. And I feel like some of these will be good conversations for other people. Yeah, yeah. It'll get other conversations going. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah, we're going to do some rapid fire questions first.
And those are going to be pretty terrifying because we don't know what each other is saying. Yeah, I have no idea what you're going to ask. We each have eight questions. And then we are going to just rapid fire. They have to be quick, on the fly answers. And then we have more deeper discussion questions that we each have that we haven't discussed or talked about or anything. They're like on the fly. We're trying to get like just very, you know, authentic responses and feelings and thoughts.
So I'm like, this is going to be really fun. And then we have some games. Is this cheating? Am I going to talk? Yeah. And am I the asshole? Am I the asshole? And they're going to be fun. They're all lifestyle related. Yeah. And relationships. And relationships in general. So it'll be fun. It'll be fun. Hopefully we'll see.
And if you like this stuff, if you want to play more games and do some more stuff like that, we're looking for like a game or some segment in each of our podcasts that we do that's like fun, that even if it's a serious topic we do, and then we could even like include guests and stuff with, but we just don't know what that's going to be. We're hoping to find it. We'll find it. We'll find it. Or somebody will help us. Like somebody will.
I want it to happen authentic, like I want it to just be like, oh, that was so much fun. But yeah, we want to hear your reactions. We want to hear your answers to the stuff that we talk about. Because obviously we're all going to be having different opinions and stuff with different things. And then, you know, if you have your own stories, am I the asshole stories and am I cheating? Is this cheating stories? Feel free to send them in, get on socials and we want to talk more about it.
Yeah. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. Grab a drink and get comfy. And here we go. It's going to be exciting. We have our list of our questions on our phones. So it's going to be a little bit annoying. We're looking down. Rapid fire. Rapid fire questions. Are you ready? Are you going first or am I going first? Um, I don't know. It doesn't matter to me. I want to ask you first. Okay. I'll get warmed up. Okay. Here we go. All right. Rapid fire questions. Here we go.
They have to be fast. All right. Okay. I'm the fastest. Pool party, dance party. Pool party. What's your favorite memory from one of our events? Dallas Orgy. Um, one word to describe our dynamic at events. Just one word. One word? Describe us. That's to be fast. That's a one word. Describe us. Describe us. Suit or casual at lifestyle events. Suit. Of course. That was stupid. Um, night out or night in. Like together or with. Together. Yes. Night out.
Do you want to plan events or would you rather spontaneous? Plan. And what's one lesson you've learned from all of our experience in lifestyle? Like one lesson? Yeah, one quick lesson. Talk. Period. And then one thing you always have to bring to a lifestyle event. Rethmints. Good job. Not as yours. Pretty good. Pretty good. All right. You ready? No, not at all. All right. Quick. Very fast. Yeah. Lightning round. Yeah. I'll say about that. Favorite lifestyle event we've attended. Naughty.
One word to describe our connection. Electric. Ooh. Heels or flats. Oh. I don't know. If I had the perfect feet or if I had my feet. Heels or flats. Heels. I always would rather do heels. What event outfit would you wear in every single event if you could? The white one from Secrets. Comfortable. Like the dress. Yeah, that sheer thing. The flowy, sheer thing. Yeah, it's like a body suit and a skirt. It looks good. It's comfy. Best city we've visited for the lifestyle fun.
Naughty. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. Yeah. How do you feel before we host an event? Excited or nervous? Both. Both. You're a little bit of a nervous Nellie. Yeah, I'm nervous. But you're excited for the- Yeah, I'm very nervous. I get it. I get it. But how do you describe our relationship? Don't stop the feeling. I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say that. That's our song that, it shows itself. That's so coordinated. It's so cliché. I actually hate that.
But every single place we go, any significant moment in our life, it always is there and it plays. Yeah. It's annoying. How many times in our lifetime, it'll just randomly be gone? I kind of hate that. It shows us. All the time. Because it's so cliché. We didn't get to choose ours. I'm a cliche music person. What's a memorable story from a party we attended? Dallas Orchee is always a good story. Yeah, that's a good story. I'm sure everybody already knows that story, but yeah.
Like the 20, 30 person or dream with a nose surrounded by glass. Well, that was the first time we introduced the Cajun persuasion to everyone. Yeah, and that was the last, that was a spontaneous one for us. That was the last. Yeah, we weren't gonna do it. And then we closed down the club. No, well yeah, we closed down the club, but I'm just saying our decision to even go, we weren't even planning on going. And we're like, it was one of those last seconds. We're gonna go. We did.
We're coming home. Then we drove 13 hours to Dallas. And it took two days to get home. And then it took three days to go. And it also went on a whole road trip. We won like 300 bucks at a casino in Oklahoma. It's not too expensive. At a casino. Yeah, we used to go all the time. And his schedule was a lot easier to just spontaneously trip all of the time. So we were able to do that. That was our favorite thing to do. We would just go off on our own adventures on the way home, get stuff.
All right, that was our other questions. Now we have just general discussion questions. You want me to start or you to start? And we're just gonna read them out loud. Oh, okay. And then we both can answer them and talk more about them then. But I have, I'll do. What is most embarrassing moment in- I know this one right off the top of my head. I know what it is. I've shared it a couple times with a couple people. I've apologized to you about it. I've apologized to the person involved about it.
Everyone I know that's had a night like that. We were meeting a couple for the first time. Like we were talking like online. Like Instagram, stuff like that. And we had planned to meet up at this lifestyle bar in Atlanta. And- It was our first time. It was our first time at that club slash bar. And it was first time meeting them. And we were having a great time. It was a great night. We got to a point to play where they were, they are more of a dag vixen couple.
So she plays solo and he plays sometimes, but he wasn't feeling it that night. And so it was us, her and a single guy. And we all went to a playroom and we were having a great time. And- It was hot. It was really hot. It's hot. And he, well, before we were, everybody knows like we start getting the, you know, sexy vibe worth about the head. So I took a Viagra. And he had just, this was early on and this was like starting to take it.
And this, we've been drinking a little bit all night and I wasn't drunk, but I wasn't sober. Like I was a little tipsy, but I was feeling good. But we were in the middle of play and that Viagra kicked in and all my blood vessels dilated and that alcohol hit me all at once. That's hard. And like, I tried to shake it off and you noticed like my face change. I don't know if the color came out of my face or what.
You just know when like the person's just- And at this point we kind of switched back or I was with you and you like, are you okay? Well, he was like, luckily at that very moment it was very easy transition. And I don't even remember like that part of it as much. Like I don't know what that was happening, but he was like, if I stay in her any longer, I'm going to come. So he like, I had agreed already to like, so it was just me and you. So it was really comfortable.
Wait, if he stayed inside of you. Yeah. Your vagina has that effect. And he's like, I can't anymore. And he's like, you have to go back to your husband because it's coming back. And so I was like, okay, whatever. We got condom on, I don't know. Like, I get it though. He wanted to keep playing. But so it like kind of was at a good moment. We were, it was just me and you. So it was a little bit, and it was at the end already. Yeah, it was towards the end. Yeah, like we already had fun, but yeah.
And we was early on in our, you know, our Viagra alcohol learning how to- But you looked at me and like, are you okay? I said, yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to like, I wasn't fine. And it wasn't five minutes after you asked me that question, I tried to, trying to play it off. I stood up, found the nearest trash can in the corner and just started throwing up in the middle of the playroom in this trash can. Like it was bad. And we wrapped it up. Yeah, that's not a thing that happens. That's not.
And like, we wrapped it up and we made it home. You drove home and yeah, well, so later on, I like finally talking to her and like, I apologize, she even didn't realize it happened. I know, that's not a thing. Like I must have hit it really well. It happened right at the perfect time. Cause we were like at the end, it was like me and you were together. It was kind of towards the end, we were all like wrapping up, wrapping it up.
So I was like, and then they were all kind of making their way, she had to go back to her husband and everything and everybody was kind of going back to their people and then they missed it all. Like luckily. Luckily, but I was so embarrassed for the longest time. I apologize to her. She's like, I didn't even know. I'm like, well, I'm glad you didn't know. But also I'm so sorry.
I used to, like at the very beginning, I used to be so nervous and scared that I would just like, I really would drink just out of nerves and then I wouldn't realize how much I was drinking and then I just like hit a wall. The first year it was like navigating that. Now it's like, yeah, I'd rather just not drink like that. I mean, like I just don't want to drink anymore. Like a drink to like loosen up when you get, you know, just socially, but like, I just have no interest in doing that.
It's just like. Well, like I took the Viagra and then me and the guys did like a couple shots. I think that's what did it. And the nights where I've been like that, it's because I was refeed was one of them. So like there's other, yeah, like those kinds of things you can't really help. Yeah, that sucks. And then mine is, so I have hydrogeninitis supertiva and it is a skin disease. It's a chronic illness and it affects your pores and your pores don't work.
And we're going to talk more on a whole episode and explain more about it. But I unfortunately get abscesses and my pores don't know how to filter themselves correctly. And so they don't work. So everything gets trapped and infected under my skin. So I end up with these lumps everywhere. They look like pimples or something. And then until they don't, and then they turn into like baseball size lumps. And it's a pretty embarrassing.
And it also causes tunneling because my pores are all messed up and they're trying to find a way out. And so it causes these tunnels in my skin. So even when they're done, there's like scars. And plus they're purple, they like bruises and stuff. So I'm really, really self-conscious. That's my number one thing that I've been self-conscious of my whole life. And definitely through this journey with these guys and stuff. And most people are know about it.
And I'm pretty much upfront at when we first start playing and stuff. I'm like, this is what's going on. It looks bad, but I swear it's like, I'm clean, everything's good. You know, it's not dirty or anything. It's not a dirty reason, but it's always in my head all of the freaking time. No matter if they know about it or not. No matter if they're cool about it or not. So the guy, we had been playing with a couple and then we swapped and I was with her husband.
And we've been friends with them for quite a long time. This was, they've never played. We were at Trapeze. Yeah, this was actually pretty recently. Pretty recently. And we had talked for a long time and we never played. And this was our first time playing together. And we were making out and on the bed and everything. And then he just gets up and leaves. I didn't know where he went at all. So I was like, you know, whatever. I thought he went to the bathroom or condoms or whatever.
But then of course that's where my head goes. Like my scarring, my HS and all of that. So then, I don't know, he was having problems because he had drank too much. Yes. And he had taken some medication. Same type of medication type. He does a shot. Yeah, and it hit him really hard and fast. And so he was like dealing with that and everything. And I didn't realize that. And that's why communication is important.
Yeah. I thought that I scared him because in my head I saw him look at my thighs and then like in my head he like panicked and like ran away. And that's what I saw. That was my perspective. Like I scared him with my scarring and stuff in my thighs or like gross. And then I lost all this weight. I have like extra, I don't know, it's just not the cutest. So it's like, I'm always so scared about when they see you. And I've talked to him a couple of times since. And I know mostly in my head.
But that was my first thought was like he looked down. We have decided that we need a redo. Oh yeah. I get what happened. I understand what happened. And it's fine. What's funny about that whole situation, and I've talked to you about it, but I haven't talked to these people about it is. I'm just very self-conscious about my fact. Yeah. I understand that's your biggest insecurity and you're sensitive about it.
But I think that that situation itself is very funny because the day after he's texting me, apologizing to me. Apologizing to me. He's like, I'm sorry. I hope I didn't mess things up with Ashley. She's absolutely gorgeous. I drank too much. I just couldn't. He's like, we get excited when we go to these things. We go to the hotel, we start drinking and then we don't eat and the yada, yada, yada. And- Funny now, but it wasn't funny. I told you about it. I told you.
So it was fresh and I told you about it. And you're like, no, I saw it happen. I know exactly what happened. Yeah, I was not. And then it was- You're anything else. Actually, last week he texted me, because we don't live that far apart from each other. And he said, just FYI, our hot tub gets installed next week. I'm like, oh really? And we started talking back and forth and he's like, and he still thinks that he messed up so bad. And I just, I told him straight up. I'm like, I told him.
I said, it's actually hilarious to me. I thought it was beautiful. Because we, like Ashley thinks that she messed it up. You think you messed it up. I scared her away. And I think you're both ridiculous. I thought you were a good boy. Such is life, such is the lifestyle. That's why communication is very important. And none of us are actually like perfect at it. We all want to say and think we are, but there are moments where like, we should have just been like, this is what's going on.
Well, here's the- I didn't- I got scared. Comes to the conclusion. When it comes to most lifestyle awareness, a lot of left out couples, I wouldn't say most. I would just say a lot that I've seen in my experience is we pride ourselves on being excellent communicators. I know. Which we are with our partner, but we're not the best communicators with other swinging couples. Yeah, yeah. That's, I know.
Because we're comfortable having uncomfortable conversations with each other, but we don't know these other people enough. They took us years and years and years of all these things to make us this close. Swingers in general think that we're great communicators, which we are with our partner. We do a lot of us struggle. A lot of times they're afraid of some type of judgment or making somebody mad or upset, or you don't want to mess something up with another person or couple.
And so you don't communicate your wants and needs to the other people. But luckily swingers are so good at, like people in the lifestyle are so good at later on being like, I apologize. Like I've gotten so many texts and messages after weird encounters or weird things, and then like, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened or whatever. Or like we've been able to open up the discussion. And we've come across other guys having performance anxiety. Yeah, that's usually where it stems from.
And it's hard, like I get it how it's like you, it's hard for you not to take it personally. Well, that was that was with, that was that night at Trapeze. I thought I was thinking that I wasn't turning him on. That's like, and I know that is a thing. And I know it all the time, but like, it's hard sometimes when you're like, what am I doing wrong? Why am I doing, and I know it has nothing to do with it. And I also had a little bit more insight in his condition too. I know, now we'll know.
Because before we start, like we swapped or started playing with the opposite partner, you and her were on the bed, you were talking, kissing, being flirty, being super sexy. And me and him were talking, we're just, me and him were just kind of talking back and forth. Yeah, me and him didn't really talk like that. And so I knew he, like. So we just never had that conversation. So he was like, I need to go do my shot. I'm like, okay, Mike, actually Mike, he mentioned it.
Like I'm out of, like I didn't take anything that night because that was out. He's like, well, he's like, do you have, like he offered some of his, I'm like, but he, like I said, he uses the shot, which for those that know, it's an actual supplement that you put into your penis. And it makes you, it dilates those blood vessels and makes you hard. The caveat of that is there is an antidote to after three hours, you have to do it, or you can create, like it actually causes damage.
I didn't, he didn't have the antidote on him. It was at his hotel. And I'm like, well, I don't want to do that then because I don't want to risk it for the biscuit. On bad time. But yeah. We really were down. So I didn't, and say 99% of the time. I know, but like, I know that. And I struggled, that was one of my biggest struggles at the beginning was if, cause I didn't realize how many men have performance issues. I thought it was just a me thing. I thought that my thighs were ugly.
Like I said earlier, like I was just, I got into my head, I got in my head, it was because you're like, he saw you vulnerable and he saw what you looked like. You like turned him off immediately. And it's a hard thing to like not take it personal because I never had that issue with any man I've ever been with before the lifestyle ever. It was always the opposite. They would come like immediately. Well, I never had any of that type of issue. I've only had that problem two times.
I know the exact two times I've had that problem. And from a guy's perspective, it's- I've watched you deal with that now. Over-stimulating. Like there's so much going on a lot of these times. I get it now, but I've been here for a minute and I've talked to a lot of men and I've learned a lot of things. And when you don't, like when it doesn't happen, then you get in your head, be like, what's wrong with me, this and that. And it's a whole spiral situation. Cause you want to. I get it.
I get it now. Yeah, I get it now. But yeah, that was, I took a lot of learning. I didn't really, that was- But that's why I started taking like Viagra or you know, I call them helper pills, but it's like insurance. Like just like, I mostly don't need it. Swinger insurance for a reason. Yeah, it's most of the time I don't need it, but it's my insurance. We're taking in case you do. Just in case. Okay, we gotta keep going. Sorry. Sorry. Is that my turn? Yeah, it's your turn.
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Or we can do a fancy, pretty fancy. We like that. We like gloves, we like accessories. Yeah, and we think of the flask. We like accessories and hats. Like the flask dresses. And yeah. We like getting fancy. Sparkly headbands. I have two. One is a Goodwill party. Yeah, that was fun. That was so much fun. I wanna do it lifestyle. We did it with vanilla friends. I wanna do it a little bit life-wear. You have 15 or $20 that you can spend for your partner's outfit, and they have to wear it.
So hilarious. And the second one I actually just came across, and I think it's a really good idea because you have to think about it, is the theme was tequila mockingbird. And the whole point is to go, it's like a literature themed, but with an alcohol twist. So it'd be like Dorian Gray Goose or Old Man in the Rye doesn't need any changing. But like, or sorry, Catcher in the Rye. I was mixing Old Man in the...
But Old Man in the Seagroups, Fahrenheit 151 instead of Bacardi 151, like, you know, like puns. I like a good pun. I've given away our themes. I know, don't steal it. Totally steal that now. Someone's gonna definitely steal that one. I thought that was... I've never heard of that one. And people are getting very desperate for themes. We've done all the themes. Yeah, but I think that one, it's for a very niche, like niche crowd.
And a lot of people would have trouble thinking of something like that. But that's not something you just like... My style, very creative people. Yeah, we're very creative people. But it's not something you just like Google a costume with. You know? Yeah, that's why I like Kate. Her libertine events, I love libertine events, like themes, cause they make you really think and you can really interpret it any way you want to. And it's like, I love her theme nights.
And she does inspiration that you wouldn't have thought of. Well, like her takeovers are like a whole thing. Like when we were in Miami, it was Miami vices. It was all about people's vices. And every little activity had something to tie into it. I love it. She's really good. She's what's brought us that into it. I love that. Okay, what is your favorite inside joke we share about the lifestyle? Think of any? I mean...
The only thing I could really think of was like, it's not that serious to make it weird. That's what I was getting ready to say. It's not that serious to make it weird. Anytime it gets weird and it does get weird and we're in the middle of something that doesn't involve us, we're like... That's a them problem. That's a them problem. That's a them problem. That's an us thing. Yeah. And we say that all the time.
Like sometimes you have to check in because we've had some really messy, we haven't that a lot, but we have had some messy situations where it doesn't involve us and that's not our problem. And that's what we say all the time. That's a them thing. This is an us thing. And we have to check ourselves sometimes to not get involved too deep, but yes. Okay. What's something surprising you've learned about yourself through our lifestyle experiences? Um, I actually can speak to people.
I actually can like, I'm not good at it. I'm not really great at it. And the more I listen to the podcast, the more I hate the way that I talk over people. And I say, um, and I say, like I said, I never saw these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never saw any of this stuff and I'm learning. I am learning. I'm trying to not talk. I just get excited and I have ADHD and I'm very nervous, believe it or not. This is like very outside of my comfort zone.
And the video portion of this thing makes me so scared more than anything. So I'm like, it was just my voice, it'd be different. But I'm like, ah, the whole time I want to get through it. And I'm like, let's go, let's do it right. And I want to make sure it's perfect. But I am learning that I can, and you know, really Miami really, really surprised me. I got in front of, we were doing a seminar. And it's a good story. We were doing a seminar.
We spent months, cause we knew about this for like a year ahead. So we spent months doing this seminar. We had cards written. We didn't go out. We didn't go to anything at the event until it was perfected. We had a plan to achieve. We had practiced and memorized. Had a whole folder and cards. We get down there, he freezes up and doesn't say anything at all. And we're sitting in front of- Five minutes in, we're going rogue. Not even, like immediately going rogue.
And then he stands up when we start panicking. I lost my cards. Cause he didn't know where his cards were. We had done lost, abandoned that way long time ago. I pulled the chairs close to the people and I was like, okay, here, this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna wing in it. And then he stands up and he's like patting himself down, turning around. And I'm trying to, I mean, a conversation that's deep and like meaningful. And he's like, I can't find my cards.
And I'm like, we're not doing cards anymore, sweetheart. We are way past Q cards. So yeah, that was, I have learned that I can actually speak to humans, turns out I can carry, at least carry a sentence or conversation, a sentence. Sometimes just a sentence, but a conversation. And what's yours? So before we got in lifestyle, I had, I was a lot like a seagull on Finding Emo. You were mine. Yes. Mine. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't realize that I liked watching you.
And watching each other, like we liked watching each other. Like that was something that was. I would have never. Yeah, before we found the lifestyle, I would have never. I heard actually saw someone on TikTok, like a TikTok the other day. And she was like, my husband is mine, mine, mine. And that makes me a selfish bitch. Wouldn't so be, it was, and she just kept repeating herself over and over and he's all mine. You look at him, I will kick your, you know, like that's very stereotypical.
I'm just like, man, that makes me so sad. Yeah. Well, I was, I'm an odd duck in a sense that you were mine, but also I liked showing you off. Like I liked it when like you dressed. Once a year on our anniversary. Yeah. That's the only time we ever saw that for like a very long time. That was when I would describe like that feeling was the only thing closest when we would always get dressed in our finest and go out to dinner for our anniversary.
Yeah. But like, I liked showing you off, but you were mine. Like that was the type of. Don't look, don't touch also. I was the same way, same way. Yeah. Do not avert your eyes or I will get you. Yeah. All right, next time, if you had to describe our lifestyle journey in a music or a movie genre, what would it be? Clifford, go. In a movie genre? What? Comedy. Yeah. Mine was dramedy. You had dramedy. Like a romantic comedy, dramedy, something like that.
Yeah. Yeah. Like it has all the twists and turns and funny, hilarious, but also like sexy and spicy and young, like a modernized version. And that's where my brain went to too. What's my next one? Oh, oh, this is this one you might have to think about for a second. You ready? Yeah, ready. If you could invite three people to a lifestyle dinner party, dead or alive. Easy. Who would it be? Zachary, Taylor, and I've... Yeah, I had a feeling you were gonna say the Handsome Brothers.
If you said three, I said pig. I mean, three in my life, those are the three people. Mine's not that different, but completely different. Are you ready? I'm a handsome fan, not hardcore for almost 30 years now. Don't like it, get over it. That's why swinging is not that weird, because I've been picked on my entire fucking life for being weird. And guess what? I love it. My history nerds gonna come out in this one, are you ready? Okay. JFK, Marilyn Monroe.
I was afraid you were gonna go like that. And Jackie O. I was not gonna take it that. All at one dinner with us. I was not gonna take it that. Cheeky. Because I feel like that could be a really cool orgy. Yeah. No, I don't really wanna do an orgy with, only Zach, just Zach. Mac, Zach, and, oh, that's a hardy. That's a hard one, hardy. That's a hard one. I don't know, I don't know. Just Zach. So Zachary Hanson, if you're listening, we'll see you next Tuesday. Tuesday. After the Atlanta.
Actually, when you hear this, it'll be already Thursday. I've already saw you. I saw you already hooked up, hooked eyes. You know you're married. Won't do that. But man, I have a fantasy that maybe you are, and I just don't know. So, I never know. Okay, we are going to a DJ set with Taylor. So that's my shot. And it's his birthday. Maybe it's Zach's birthday. But it's Taylor's DJing. So I'm gonna show off all my swinger moves. Cause I haven't been to a DJ Taylor show since I've been a swinger.
And I love the DJ. So I am down to get funky with Taylor Hanson, Thursday in Atlanta. Or Tuesday. Tuesday. So excited. Okay. What's the most creative way you've seen people break the ice at events? Like any break the ice at like party games or any like ways that people, events have broken ice. I had to think about this one too. I mean, really it's just conversations. Like I don't see a whole lot of- The other one that we've done was at Trappies when we did the lock and key thing.
Oh, I do like the lock and key parties. That was a really good one. I don't know why we stopped doing like ice breaker games. There was actually, when we were in Secrets. I found a bunch of these. When we were in Secrets they had a lock and key meet and greet. We just didn't make it. No, did they? Oh, I didn't know. The speed dating thing. Not the nude one, but the clothing optional one. It was a lock and key one. No, I didn't know. My other answer was naked speed dating.
That's also pretty clever. Just to have strangers meet each other naked. You kind of like strip them down to nothing. And you have to be like, hi, what's your name? It's very- Interesting. I couldn't- Disarming. Yeah, I couldn't do it, but I mean- It's very disarming, because there's no hiding. But yeah, that's what I mean. You're very vulnerable. And you're just like, hi, I like to play football on Thursdays and paint on Sundays. Like, you know what I mean?
Like it's very much, you're still meeting people you've never met before. So I don't know. I think that one was pretty interesting. If you can do it, I can't. Like the card games and stuff like that. Those are- Yeah. I found a bunch of different ideas when I was, cause I got my brain started when I saw that question. And I was like, I can't even remember which one. And I was like, oh, the lock and key. That was so cute. Cause the men had the locks and the women had the keys or something.
I know the men had the keys and the women had the locks around their neck. It was something like that. It was one or the other. And then you had to go around and you had to find your lock. So here's the whole downside to that one is, I remember that party pretty well. Yeah. And I found my- Yeah, it wasn't a very good system. Or key or something. There was people with keys that unlocked every lock. And then there was people like, you know, that never found their key. Oh, I get it.
There's only so many, like, they were just like luggage locks. I know, that was a good idea. But there was a few things. And people would have multiple people that unlocked their thing. And then they'd have, like, I had no one. Kind of felt sad. It wasn't the best. No, we found yours. I don't think we ended up- It was, remember- It was the very end of the party that I finally found. I think who, effort, and who's mind was.
You did have, because I remember you had, you had like two people, two or three people that you unlocked. I had a couple. But I found the first one, like, immediately. It was like the first lock. Party we've ever been, that was a long time ago. All right, and that's the end of that one. And next, we are going to play the game, Am I an Asshole? Looking to add some excitement to your social life? Meet 3Fun, the free app that connects to open-minded singles and couples for fun adventures.
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We both just went on to the Reddit. Am I an asshole? We picked two. Each got two, so we're going to take turns. Sharing is caring. So first, go on ahead. Me first? I'll let you go ahead and we'll see. Usually they're usually- This one's SWE related. Oh, am I or not? This one, this is the only one that is SWE related. Okay. Am I the asshole for outing my SWE parents? Yes. I, 22F, recently found out a lot about my mother, 40F, and stepfather, 49M.
As some background, I don't live with them, but my brother, 15M, my sister, 18F, I shared a Life360 with my parents from when I did live with them. My siblings are on there and I never left it. My parents have been apparently having financial issues, including asking my grandparents for some help paying rent for multiple months, falling behind on payments, asking me for money, et cetera.
Parents have also been going on trips, including going to the closest largest city, the closest largest city, coming home late, going to the beach in another state, but anytime we ask where they're going, they refuse to tell us. They're also turning off their location anytime they go somewhere. Well, duh. Sounds like every Swinger I've ever heard. Late August, they went to a state away for a vacation, leaving my sister home to take care of everything. Multiple dogs and farming.
They refused to say where they were going, who they're going with, et cetera, and turned off their Life360. On their way home, a few days later, I went to check the app for different reasons, and it showed that they had stayed at a well-known Swinger's resort. Florida? Probably. Do we know these people? Probably. Probably. I confronted my mother and she seemed embarrassed that her kids knew, but otherwise laughed it off.
On my phone that night, my grandmother asked me why my mom was acting so weird lately, and she brought up that she thought my parents were at a Swinger's resort, and the fact that on the weekends, they go out and come home late. And so, most likely is the fact that they're going to Swinger bars. I- Swinger bars. Yeah. I confirmed this through the information I found out. On top of this, I found out today that my mother has a TikTok account with 1,500 followers. She's got it. Probably.
My sister confronted her about it and told her that it was embarrassing and asked her to remove the TikTok account. My mother refused, saying she wants to be an influencer and share the lifestyle. My mother has no remorse for the account. She doesn't seem to care that her children know. Needless to say, my mother was furious when she found out my grandmother knew about all of this. She said she had no right to share that, and that her parents, my grandparents, didn't need to know.
I feel like they had the right to know since they were being lied to and since they were giving my mom money without knowing the full story. Although I might be at fault since my mother didn't want them to be told, I didn't tell my grandmother myself, but I did confirm when she asked me about it. Am I the asshole for outing my Swinger parents to my grandparents? Like the grandparents already knew. Yeah. They were definitely suspicious. Like they even brought up a Swinger resort specifically.
So like they already knew. You didn't really out them to your brain. Like they added themselves, Ken. They, well, I don't know. So we talked about this. And if you're on social media, you're- You're gonna get found out. It's only a matter of time. You're outing yourself. We found that out the hard way. It's only a matter of time. Someone will find it. Also. But she said she didn't care. She wasn't ashamed about it, which I did, and she didn't wanna take it down. So like she knew the risk.
She wanted to be an- But I feel like she was mad that she didn't- Well, that's the thing about like, cause her parents were what? 40 and stepfather was 49. So, Yeah. I think she was assuming that her parents didn't have TikTok. And she wouldn't- Same. Therefore wouldn't find out. Which my parents didn't have TikTok. Same. But it was shared with them. They still found out on social media. So. I mean, I feel like the grandparents already knew. So you didn't really out them. There's nothing.
You're not really an asshole. Yeah. Also. I think the parents need to really talk to those kids. Yeah. I think that's the thing. Cause they definitely have some, obviously it's like some issues. Yeah. I think that- Like if my kids would have been like, no, I probably would have second guessed it. Obviously like a lot. I would not do it. You know what I mean? Like I would definitely. Yeah. I think if our kids would have said something about the social media side, we probably wouldn't have this.
That's not what I mean. That's not what I mean. I don't think we would have stopped to- Social media. No, we would have still been swaggering. We would have still had fun. We would still have done all that. But I don't think we would have- Been public about it. Been public. I don't think we would have been in many places or done so many things. Yeah. Cause most of that was because of social media. But yeah.
I definitely, if my kids were that upset about it and like really had concern and didn't want you to do it, then I'd be like, okay. Long story short, I think the mom and stepdad need to talk to their family. To their parents. Yeah. Or better knows, but this is how we feel. It's not an easy conversation, but you have to. This is what it actually means. And everyone knows now, so you have to sit down and have that conversation. It's weird. It's awkward.
You don't want people to let their imagination run wild. Yeah. We've been there, done that. It's definitely uncomfortable, but you have to do it. Yeah. Okay. So mine is, so me, 25 and my husband, 30, went out to dinner with his friend. He's always talking about this friend and I didn't get a chance to meet him before. Husband told me he's married with kids and he's always inviting us out. We have kids and I'm a state home mom with no support system close by.
So in order to go out, I have to arrange childcare and it's not easy. I asked my husband who was coming to dinner and he mentioned his friend, his girl, and another couple I do know and us. Dinner was really great and I had a great time and actually clicked immediately with this woman. Most of my husband's friends are bachelors, so I found it cool that he's friends with this couple and I can relate more to them.
He even, we even planned a trip during dinner and they showed us all the amazing places they've traveled to. When it was time to leave, we all got out of the restaurant, but she's in the restroom. It's freezing cold, so we said goodbye and I told his friend, say goodbye to your wife. It was really nice to meet her. He looked at me, laughed and said, she's not my wife. I was shocked, so I go, oh, sorry, my bad. I got in the car and I'm speechless.
So my husband asked me what's wrong and I asked him what all of that was about and isn't she the mother of his kids? So she's basically his mistress. He explained to me that he's in an arranged religious marriage, so it's different and this is a girl he actually loves and takes places. Am I the asshole for being upset at my husband and him for not telling me? So they weren't married. I wouldn't say she's an asshole. I feel like the friend's definitely an asshole.
Yeah, well, no, the husband knew too. Like her husband knew and like they all three knew about the situation except for the wife of, like that's the one who was doing it. Yeah, she definitely wasn't the asshole. Everybody else in that situation is being an asshole. No, her husband should have warned her. Give her a little bit of an insight onto their relationship with dynamic, especially when he's told her that they were married and had kids. I mean, like this isn't her.
Especially when she asked who was coming to dinner, he could have elaborated his girl men. It's Dave and his girlfriend. Yeah. Who's not his wife. Not his wife, but. And this is why. Hopefully his wife knows about. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't know, it's different. Yeah, I feel like everyone knew. But she's not being an asshole. But she's not an asshole, no. No, everyone else is an asshole. They should have given her a little bit of a backstory. All right, now your next one.
All right, my next one. I, M39, have been with my wife, F38, since we were in college. My wife lately started a new lifestyle, I guess, that believes in no deodorant, no shaving, shower only gets dirty, no makeup, no wearing nice clothes. She doesn't have depression or anything. It started when she joined a new yoga class. I've never commented because she's a grown woman and I can do whatever she wants. I told her it doesn't matter how I feel as long as it makes her happy.
She keeps asking, but I wanna know how you feel about it. Eventually I said, you really wanna know how I feel? I miss the woman I fell in love with. She used to dress nice, smell great, shower every day, wear her makeup, brush her hair. I really don't like this whole all natural thing, but again, not my decision, so I have no say. She started crying and called me an insensitive, vain jerk and now doesn't wanna talk to me. Was I the jerk when she wanted my opinion? Yeah, that's a hard one.
Yeah, that's a toughie. That's a hard one. I think he could have went about it a little bit better. Occasionally, I mean, he has to say something if he's not happy about it too, like live your best life. And he's still obviously being supportive. He said she's a grown woman, whatever makes her happy. He's obviously not happy. But he's not happy and he has to say something. He can't just be unhappy forever. He does have to say something that may be a different approach. I don't know.
Is there a different way we could do this? Can we do something? I understand we wanna be natural. No. Can we find a better way? That one's a hard one, it's hard. Yeah, cause. Cause you don't wanna live with someone that you are uncomfortable around. Yeah, if you're uncomfortable all the time and you're just not. Yeah, it's hard, cause, yeah. But then how do you tell somebody that they stink without hurting their feelings? You kinda have to tell them. Yeah, you're gonna have to.
And then I kinda just say it. You're gonna have to kinda hurt their feelings. I know, and you should be comfortable. I really don't love this season. Yeah, you have to find a way to really carefully dip your toes in there and be very careful and sensitive about how they might take it and how they might perceive what you say as hurtful and stuff. So I could see. Also try. Ooh, that's hard. Also try and see her perspective. I know, cause I get that too. Cause I'm like a hippie at heart.
I love all that stuff too. But, and she is a grown woman. And whatever makes her happy, live your best life, do whatever you want. But he can also be unhappy in there. So he has to say something. But yeah, that's a hard one. That's a delicate one. Just be very, very careful. Very carefully navigate that one. Cause you don't wanna hurt her. I mean, he obviously still loves her. Yes. And he even said about being really careful. She's a grown woman. She, whatever makes her happy. That's hard.
All right. Am I the asshole for being mad my wife won't satisfy me? Me 45 male and my wife 38 female have been together for 17 years. We're very different people, but we compliment each other in most aspects of life. And I love her to bits. Some backstory first. I have some childhood trauma, which makes me a pleaser. I always place the need of others before myself. This leads to mostly focusing on her when we have sex. I always try to please her and fulfill her fantasies.
And every time we have sex, it's one of her fantasies that is played out. Now to my problem. I love blow jobs because that is the only time I can truly focus on my own pleasure. When we met, she would do it once a month for me. Now it's more like once every six months, which leaves me feeling very unsatisfied. I've communicated this to her in no unclear manner, but she still refuses to do them.
This leaves me not only unsatisfied, but also heartbroken because I would do anything, whatever she wanted in an instant. This is starting to turn into resentment and I need to fix this. Am I being unreasonable or in other words, am I the asshole here? He is not. Not. He is not the asshole. Not the asshole. He's obviously, if it's like he is very- Once every six months. Yeah. Well like he obviously been so, like tries to fulfill her fantasies. Yeah, he's a people pleaser.
And her needs and the fact that she doesn't feel like she needs to- The refusing part, the refusing, he said he's been very clear and told her that's what he needs to get off and like that's what he needs to be satisfied and she refused, the refuse word really like throws me because it's like your husband is telling you very clearly this is what he needs a little more often. Like I don't know, I understand the fact that when even like having sex, it's fun, it feels great.
But if he is focused on her pleasure, he's not like- Enjoying it like he should be. Well, he's enjoying it. But not as like as much as- Yeah. So like he said that a blow job is where he can actually focus on his pleasure. Yeah, he should like- So the wife I feel like should be- A little bit more like meeting his- I don't know, I feel like the wife should want to do that.
That's the thing is like he wouldn't- Like not like, oh, yeah, it's like not that she feels obligated or she needs to fill his, like she shouldn't feel like it's a chore. There's something wrong if you wouldn't want to like help your spouse be satisfied and like fulfill his thing. I don't know, but we are swingers and they're probably vanilla nod because once that's probably when they had sex too. Yeah. Not very often, but I don't know. Yeah, he's not the asshole. No, she is.
Keep communicating and she's got to give a little bit. She's got to give a lot of days. Yeah, especially if he's getting her off. Yeah. Hey, beautiful. If you're looking to feel confident and sexy, Voluptuous Fixin' has got you covered with stunning lingerie and outfits that fit every curve. And for our listeners, you can snag 10% off your order with code hotcoupleinga at checkout. Don't miss out. Check out the link below and find your next favorite piece. So now it's, is this cheating?
Yes, now we're gonna do, is this cheating? So it's just our opinions on if these people. It was very hard to find anything good, decent, because everybody's cheating. If you feel like you're going to Reddit. If you're feeling guilty about something, it's probably cheating. They're running to Reddit and be like, I just want this one guy to tell me I'm fine. I already know what my answer is going to be. Yeah, same. This one was really hard.
I was trying to do two for each and I was like, no, we're just going to do one cheating because this is not as good as I thought it was going to be. It's all a bunch of cheaters that are just like, trying to justify it. Okay. Is it my turn? Go on. Okay. This all started with my girlfriend and I took a kink quiz a while back. Those are fun. Basically we found some online quizzes for couples to help bring some new sex kink ideas to the bedroom.
I selected group sex as an interest of mine and she did not. After we compared, she said that she was a little insecure that I picked something that I wanted to try. I told her that it's not something I needed or want right now, but the idea was pretty hot. She still felt weird about it. So I said, let's not bring it up again. And the conversation pretty much ended for a while. A couple months ago, she brings it up again and says she actually is interested in it now.
So she's been thinking about it. I was confused and quite honestly, I thought it was a test. I told her again that I don't really need it right now, but we can talk about it as a fantasy if she wanted. We both thought a couple swap would be more ideal since I'm not bi and she really isn't interested in a woman. She then told me that maybe we could explore it in the near future.
Well, two days ago, she told me she had a meetup with another couple and decided to have a threesome with them after a girls night out. I was dumbfounded by the disclosure and told her it was cheating and she claims it isn't. Her reasoning is that she was insecure, needed to take the first step. But now that she has, she realizes that it's not a big deal. Now she wants to sign up for a swinger dating site that the other couple was on.
I left and haven't returned since the discovery and I'm seriously considering ending things. We've only been dating a year, but things were getting serious. This is definitely cheating, right? Or should I have never even, and then it ended. Yeah. It's definitely cheating. Yeah, yeah, sure. 100%. Like, just cause you talked about like group sex and threesomes doesn't give you the- Well, we brought it up one time, so. Yeah. Gave me consent. They didn't say it doesn't.
They didn't say I consent to do this. Oh, I just needed to get the monkey off my back. Yeah, you do that with consent. With your partner or at least with consent or like you do it together. It's a together thing. Yeah, that's definitely not, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. Definitely don't do that. Don't do any of that. That's a horrible thing. It's that good. That good at all. You guys could have so much fun together, but you're just not- Yeah, you just ruined it.
Yeah, you fucked it all up now. All right, mine is, okay. Me 45M and my wife 45F. We've been exploring with other couples and some single guys for threesomes. About a year ago, we decided to try hot-lifing, which we enjoy. I recently found out accidentally that she had sex with someone while on a business trip. She said it wasn't a big deal and that it was her right to enjoy herself when the opportunity arose. She argued is the same as when she plays with single guys alone.
She's always shared everything with me before. Is this cheating? Yes. Yes. All of it was. It was hard to find anything good. I know. Because when she goes out with single guys, You are in with it. Like you are in on it. It was communicated. It's not, you're not. I think she's trying to argue that it just happened. It just was an opportunity. Yeah. And then I know already know how she's trying to frame it, but yes, you are cheating. That's cheating. She cheated on you. Yes. Period.
As it was so hard to find anything. That wasn't cheating? They're always cheating. It was all cheating. Well, here's the thing. If you have to go to Reddit to try and justify what you did. Well, if you feel guilty, if you had to hide something or somebody's being hidden from you, or lying, anything. Period. Like it's cheating. If she don't know or he don't know, then yes it is.
Yeah. If you're in a relationship with that person and they're not aware and they're not in on all of it, then you're cheating. If she doesn't know all the background and the details ahead of time, it's cheating. It's cheating. Period. I know. It was hard. I didn't find one that was not cheating. It was hard. It was really hard to find anything at all that wasn't like, I just literally just grabbing stuff, anything. So I'm like, this is all just cheating. So I'll find a short one.
I tried to find a short one to read. Cause some of them are like 12 paragraphs all to say, yes. Yes, you are a cheater. Yes. You're, if she got cheated on or you're a cheater. Yeah. I finally started watching that, Ashley Madison. I refused to watch that for so many months, months, months, months, because I already knew what it was, but all it is, is a bunch of people who are not monogamous and they don't know what the fuck to do. They could all be doing it together.
It's all the cheating wives and then the cheating husbands and they all just go there. But if they would just open up with their sponsors. I remember when that whole scandal. It's for cheating men. That's what the whole thing is. It's, they found like 40 million. Well, they got hacked. Like 40 million. Yeah, like 40 million. Like names and credit cards and things like that. Yeah. I remember when it all happened and everybody's like, oh, I'm like, that sucks for them.
It's like the, I've watched like a few episodes now and I'm like, or the first two episodes. And it's like, this guy is there. He's like, I love my wife. She's my everything. Like he's obsessed with her. And he's like, I still love her. I love the idea of like flirting with other people and being with other people. He's like, I can still love her. I have two kids just cause I have two kids. I mean, I just don't love the one like the other one. I love them differently.
And he's like, like, you're like Polly. He's like, it's okay. He's like, you know what I mean? It's okay. You just, you know, and they're just describing non-monogamy and stuff. And I'm like, oh, if they only knew they didn't have to go behind their spouses back all these 40, like millions and millions of people. And the women are cheating too.
And then the people who developed it were like, the wives aren't gonna say anything about the husbands being on there cause they're looking for the same thing. And so they all kept on hush hush just millions and millions and millions of people. And they think that we're weird cause we're doing it together. I know. Like that's what, yeah. It's crazy. I don't know. That's it. We had a whole new episode on that Mormon mom talk. Swinging is ruining our relationship and our marriage.
And cheating is okay. So we're just, we're not gonna, so I'm just gonna do what everybody says. Just cheat on my wife. Way, that's way more acceptable. Way more acceptable. I could go on and on forever, but that's all the time we have. That's it. We are done. Yeah. We are going to do our next episode is going to be about our weight loss journey. I know a lot of people have been wanting to hear this one for a long time. They have so many things that people be asking for.
So I'm like, everyone's always intrigued by that. They love all the details about that. Well, it's hard. So this will be delayed. Everybody knows how hard it is to lose weight. Yeah. And kind of our struggles. Yeah, struggles. Everyone's like, how do you do it? Yeah, that's pretty much what we're gonna talk about. Don't say that now, because that takes up the whole episode. But yeah, that's gonna be our next episode. Don't tell them all of it now. You can do it too, but you'll beat me.
Everyone can do it too, but you don't wanna. And then, yeah, the only thing we have on the books is April, we just booked our room for April. Oh, and secrets in April. In April, we are going back with the Swingers Society, and those tickets go on sale. They're for sale now. Yeah, they are for sale in this episode. They will be in the show notes. Definitely, trying to get all you guys there.
I'm trying to get every single one of our friends, every single person, lifestyle or not, anyone who's been following us, been down, who's been interested in going to secrets. We have friends that are vanilla that are going that have been to trapeze and stuff. Some friends of ours hopefully are going that we love. And we want to just get everybody in as many people there as possible. And I think this time, because we can, they can track the link that's on in the show notes. They can track that.
So we'll use our code. And I think we're gonna do a luncheon on Saturday in our room with us and everybody that booked using that link. We do that link. We get some free lunch, some drinks. We're gonna do like a private party. And like a private party. Now we're doing margaritas and pizza. We're going back to the OG. We're going back to where we started. We're going to have our own margarita and pizza.
And we're gonna do some super cool, extra cool swag bags for everybody who books through our link as well. So if you want to come hang out, have pizza and margaritas and four days of secrets time, which is the best. And I mean, it is the best time to hang out. So make sure you use that link down below. Yes, and you'll be added on. Because if you come to our room and hang out, that's perfectly fine. But don't expect the swag bag if we don't know you were coming. Everyone's invited to our room.
But we have to pre-plan the swag bags. So get in on those swag bags. So we know how much stuff to bring down. Yeah, we're thinking we're gonna do that. More than probably. It's gonna be good. It's gonna be a good time. We need to go back to that. I'm sure we have some friends, Cajun Persuasion, is gonna be really excited about that. Because he was very upset we didn't have margaritas and pizza. He was upset. That's the last secret. He walked by with his pizza and knocked on our window.
He was like, well, I guess I gotta get a little more pizza. You guys are having cupcakes and frontman puts. Yeah, he was upset. Yeah, he was not happy. Because that's been our thing for all these years. It's been margaritas and pizza. So we're going back to Margarita's. We're coming back. We're bringing the blender down. Book your room 141 and yeah, if you wanna get near us, around us, book all around us, all our friends. We want everybody there.
We want all the, as many people as we possibly can for April. It's a good time of the year. It's gonna be really, really good. It'll be fun. So definitely book your room fast because they're selling out quick. This one's going really quick because there's a lot of people jumping on it because it was so much fun last month. Yeah. Okay. That's all we got for today. That's it. It's not that serious. Don't make it weird. Love you guys. Bye.