Vanessa and Julia have read the second chapter of Eclipse and they've final solved the mystery of why so many socks go missing in the laundry: Edward is eating them. Because we're switching our release schedule to once a week (on Wednesdays!) we're trying to make our episodes longer. To that end, we have a new rotating segment called Reality TV. In today's episode, we try out our 'Survivor' edition for the first time, in which Vanessa and Julia both vote a character off the Twilight Island. --- ...
Aug 26, 2020•24 min•Season 2Ep. 54
Vanessa and Julia have read the first chapter of Eclipse and are very interested to learn that Bella's favorite book is Wuthering Heights. They dive into the book-within-a-book relationship with some essential questions: Is Eclipse going to draw its themes from Wuthering Heights? Will Bella gets to become a ghost instead of a vampire? And, most importantly, why does Bella like the wrong Bronte book? Because we're switching our release schedule to once a week (on Wednesdays!) we're trying to make...
Aug 19, 2020•27 min•Season 2Ep. 53
Vanessa and Julia have read the Epilogue of New Moon and they're starting a petition to bring RBG to Forks, Washington. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book three! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Aug 07, 2020•28 min•Season 2Ep. 52
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 24 and they're rooting for Bella to say yes to the dress. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book three! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Aug 05, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 51
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 23 and they think that some bunk beds and a Daniel Craig shaped pillow would solve a lot of Bella’s problems. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Aug 02, 2020•20 min•Season 2Ep. 50
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 22 of New Moon and they want to celebrate Edward for his self-control in several categories. Blood-thirst for Bella? Completely under control. Public displays of affection? Generous, yet tasteful. We can honestly say for once: Good job Edward. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more info...
Jul 29, 2020•20 min•Season 2Ep. 49
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 21 of New Moon. Though they've been giving advice for a while now, in this chapter it feels like there are two pressing pieces of advice that can supersede all that came previously: DON'T murder DON'T start romantic relationships with literal children These are surprisingly difficult concepts for many characters to grasp. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us h...
Jul 24, 2020•21 min•Season 2Ep. 48
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 20 and urge Bella to jump into EMERGENCY MODE because she's far from home, wading barefoot and frantic through some deep trouble in Italy. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 22, 2020•20 min•Season 2Ep. 47
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 19 of New Moon and they're starting to wonder if they should have read Fifty Shade of Grey instead. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 20, 2020•23 min•Season 2Ep. 46
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 18 of New Moon and they want to hear from you! Write in if you: Also didn’t realize that this book was an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet Have an idea of a sound effect for our genuine enjoyment section Have a private jet and want us to come to your wedding --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...
Jul 17, 2020•23 min•Season 2Ep. 45
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 17 of Eclipse and have come to the conclusion that tough love is maybe the truest love of all. #TeamBalice anyone? --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 15, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 44
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 16 and are scheming to unionize the poor werewolves who are clearly working too hard. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 13, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 43
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 15 and, true to type, Vanessa has to explain to Julia some 90s culture while Julia has to explain to Vanessa some modern technology. If you or someone you love is in crisis, please consider reaching out to the Crisis Text Line , National Suicide Prevention Hotline , or National Domestic Violence Hotline . --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through...
Jul 10, 2020•22 min•Season 2Ep. 42
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 14 and they are demanding a feminist uprising against the werewolf patriarchy. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 08, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 41
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 13 of New Moon and feel it's necessary to do a deep dive into the psychology of Bella's attractions. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 06, 2020•17 min•Season 2Ep. 40
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 12 of New Moon, and are having flashbacks to book one. We know that Jacob is the middle of a transformative time - we just didn't realize he was transforming into Edward. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 03, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 39
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 11 of New Moon, and between bad policing, white savior complexes, and gas-lighting, Charlie and Bella are hitting a home run on sucking this week. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 01, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 38
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 10 of New Moon, and they're starting to learn the ups and downs of parenting a teenager. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 29, 2020•21 min•Season 2Ep. 37
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 9 of New Moon, and they're ready to give Jacob 'the talk' about his growing and changing body. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 26, 2020•22 min•Season 2Ep. 36
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 8 of New Moon, and want Bella to hop on the #TeamJacob bandwagon and off the motorcycle (or at least wear a helmet). -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 24, 2020•20 min•Season 2Ep. 35
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 7 of New Moon, and they have some notes for Sam Uley on how to be a good cult leader. Pro tip: try to be less scary. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 22, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 34
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 6 of New Moon, and need to introduce some high-level terms to Bella like 'internalized misogyny' and 'racism.' -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 19, 2020•21 min•Season 2Ep. 33
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 5 of New Moon, and give Bella some much needed financial advice about saving for college. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 17, 2020•17 min•Season 2Ep. 32
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 4 of New Moon, and have some thoughts on how to get Bella through this break-up. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 15, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 31
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 3 of New Moon, and they are THRILLED that Edward and Bella have finally broken up. We've been waiting for this moment for so long ya'll and it's finally here. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 12, 2020•20 min•Season 2Ep. 30
Vanessa and Julia have read chapter 2 of New Moon, and are thoroughly in the weeds with some big questions: is there a god? Is there such thing as a consensual rocking chair experience in the bedroom? How can we empower Bella's bodily autonomy? So buckle up, Twihards, it's a bumpy ride. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voi...
Jun 10, 2020•19 min•Season 2Ep. 29
Vanessa and Julia have read Chapter 1 of New Moon and they have a lot of advice on proper birthday etiquette and how to best take advantage of your astrological moment. -- We encourage you to donate to one of the many organization raising money in support of Black lives and the current protests. If you donate $25 or more, send us a receipt and Julia and Vanessa will record a voicemail message just for you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 08, 2020•20 min•Season 2Ep. 28
Vanessa and Julia have watched the Twilight movie and give a thorough review of all the most important parts: the weather, the fashion, and our favorite minor characters. Please Note: We've decided to not talk about Charlie Swan in this episode. We've given Charlie a lot of love throughout this first season of Twilight in Quarantine , but in this political moment we're thinking a lot about how police narratives are centered and celebrated in popular media . We encourage you to donate to one of t...
Jun 05, 2020•21 min•Season 2Ep. 27
Vanessa and Julia have read ALL of the first book of the Twilight series! Before they move on to New Moon, they take a look back at the whole book and give their final impressions and advice. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 03, 2020•27 min•Season 2Ep. 26
Vanessa and Julia have read the Epilogue, and they're organizing the After-Prom party for Bella and Edward. --- If $2/month doesn’t feel like a vampire sucking your blood, we’d love it if you could support us on Patreon. Your support will help us help Bella through book two! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 01, 2020•18 min•Season 2Ep. 25
