Too much horror business Driving late at night Psycho 78. Greetings and salutations. My name is Justin Lohr. I'm Liam McDonald. You're listening to episode 154 of Heart. That's Santa of horror business. Wait, that's Santa? That's Santa. You got to put some bass in your voice, buddy. I don't. Oh, okay. Because that's how Santa sounds. It's not me.
That was Santa you were hearing. And in case you guys haven't guessed, we are talking about two Christmas-themed horror movies. 1980's To All a Good Night. And 1989's Fashy Elves. It's not called Fashy Elves, it's called Elves, but there's a lot of stuff in that movie. I mean, you couldn't make a movie about elves and have it not be about Nazis, right? Like, they just go hand in hand. Sure, except the Will Ferrell film Elf, which has, to the best of my knowledge, nothing to do with Nazis.
Also, nothing to do with elves. I mean, they're in there. No, no, no, no, no. I don't care what the legends say. Those are gnomes. Only gnomes would be that industrious. Uh... I don't, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not too well, I'm not too very well versed in my, I'm not well versed in the hierarchy and habits of the hinterfolk. Contrary to popular belief.
Because you're a racist. Yes, but that has nothing to do with my lack of knowledge towards elves and trolls and goblins and gnomes and whatever else exists out there. I'm not a racist. Kieflings? Tieflings. What are those? They kind of look like demons, but they're not. They are demonic in heritage, but they're separate from the demonic realms.
Oh, is that like a Mike Mignola thing? No, no, no. I think it's a D&D race. Oh, okay. Tiefling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a thing. Interesting. Speaking of racism. Actually, wait, no. Erase that.
Keep that in, Sharky. Before we get started, we would like to thank our patrons on Patreon. If you would like to become a Patreon... patron of this horseshit where I have nonsensical gibberish fall out of the front of my head, you can head to patreon.com backslash cinepunks and smash that subscribe button. for any amount you please, whatever it is, whatever, whatever amount you want to do or not, you can just go there and fucking bam, hit the button and it goes from your electronic, uh,
account wallet into ours. Your money becomes ours and we do with it what we want, which is very mundane stuff. Mostly cocaine. Mostly, yes. You said that, not me. Speaking of cocaine and racism and subhuman creatures, we would also like to thank the elves. And tieflings or whatever the fuck Liam said. And, and, and goblins and gremlins. Halflings. Halflings. Golems. Whatever those turtle people are. Orcs. Kappas. Over at Lehigh Valley of Paracreations. Headed by King Goblin.
racist Hitler fanboy himself, Chris Reject. He's not going to like this joke. Good. I hope it brings him much displeasure. Now, if I said to you, Liam, I want to get a t-shirt that says... Elon Musk sucks, and if you lick his boots, you suck too. Where would you recommend I go get that t-shirt made? Lehigh Valley Apparel Creations. And why is that?
Well, you know, they're going to be the best to work with. You're going to get a good deal. They're very personable. They'll help you do a good design so it doesn't look shitty. And they'll do amazing work. at an affordable price and get you your shirts in an incredibly fast way. We get our stuff from them so quickly over at Rough Cut, and I just really appreciate all the hard work they do.
And especially Chris Reject, who I love very much and do not think is a racist. I will co-sign some of what Liam said. How about a bugbear? If there's any bugbears listening. Bug bear? Yeah, that's another kind of thing. It's an archaic... That is a very archaic word for the boogeyman. Interesting. I think they're related to trolls, maybe? I love how I'm trying to bring these things up, but then I realize, I don't know what the fuck this is. There's a Firbolg. Firbolg? What? Yeah. F-I-R-B-O-L-G.
Are you online right now just looking up things to say about various, like, weird little half-half-half things? Like, half people, like... You know, like elves, like different variations of elf. Dragonborn culture harkens to an ancient empire. Hmm. Interesting. I'm not actually clicking on the actual links to see what they say. I'm only looking at the summaries of the links, which is, by the way, not enough information to actually know anything. So that's why it's been not that informative.
of a distraction hey uh i'll tell you what would get me back on track a little bit of coffee where would you get this coffee at where would you go That's just CoffeeRoasters.com. There you go. Head on over there. Put in the code CINEPUNC, C-N-E-P-N-X. You're going to get 10% off. What are you going to get 10% off of? High quality teas. Coffee roasted to order. Fresh as fuck. Just amazing coffee for you. Add a whole bunch of merch and stuff too. Go on, check it out. EssexCoffeeResters.com.
Thank you to Sharky, as always, for being amazing. And thank you to me for running Rough Cup Fan Club. We're not a sponsor. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Check it out. RoughCupFanClub.com. Okay. Let's do the... Let's do the thing. Now comes the time in the podcast when Liam and I are in the woods doing strange pagan rituals. Because we don't like Christmas. And right before we complete the ritual, before we summon an Aryan elf?
I think that's what it is. I look at Liam and I say, Liam, what have you done involving her recently? That's a good question, Justin. Well... I wish I could say a lot, not as much as I would like, because I have, in fact, been distracted by the holidays, which is fine. I'm not, just so you guys know, I'm not anti-Christmas, actually. I think Christmas is fine. I think there's actually some great things about it.
But it tends to take over everything. And that I find frustrating because then it's like I can't get to the things that I want to get to. And everything becomes a little bit harder. And not that much. I don't enjoy that. enjoy that even though i again i you know uh you know i get to give i get to see my little girl open presents that's great right like there there are definitely things where it's like oh this aspect of this holiday is pretty cool but
There are also so many things where I'm like, why is this so annoying? Why does everything have to be so annoying? And it is what it is. It just is what it is. And it's not going to get better because I whine about it, I don't think. Maybe it will. I don't know. Who knows? I will say, if people go to Shadir, Shudar, Shadir. Shadir.
If people want to go check out Shadir, I'm sure people do all the time to know what's on there. But in case you haven't in a while... on shadir uh they've added all of the um ghost story for christmas stuff both the original tv show a ghost story for christmas from the bbc as well as some of the things that inspired it or spun off from it i'm pretty sure
the stone tapes was the first thing. And then that led into a ghost stories for Christmas. Um, I watched one of these ghost stories for Christmas and it was. Very good. I liked it a lot. I don't know if that means I can recommend the whole thing. I will say a friend of the show, Sam Deegan, she just has an episode coming out of...
Eros Plus Massacre, her podcast, talking about these in depth. She's a big fan. So much to the point where she now associates ghost stories with Christmas and thinks of Halloween as more time for witches and demons. which, that's fair. It's a fair distinction, I think. I think for people for which this sounds insane, in England, and side note,
I just want to say something. I've often made fun of Christmas because it's so Europe heavy, right? Like the fact that there are people in like Australia pumping out fake snow so that they can pretend it's winter and not. summer there. It's all weird how Eurocentric the holiday is to some extent. On the other hand, it's not weird, actually. It's weird because we all know that Jesus was born in not...
Europe. And so it's strange to be like, you know, welcome to the world. Here's some holly trees and fucking eggnog, right? Like all of that feels out of place, but their tradition as people are. pointing out on the internet far too often is a, you know, a pagan holiday from Europe that's sort of transmuted into this other thing. And so, uh, in England,
It's maybe not as popular in the rest of Europe, but half our Christmas shit just comes from England anyway, so it's fine. They have a long tradition of doing ghost stories. In fact, a lot of scholars for a while attributed... Charles Dickens as being the beginning of this tradition. Apparently, that's not really true. Researchers show that...
ghost stories at Christmas time way predated a Christmas Carol. And then in fact, if, if a Christmas Carol is endorsing anything, it's Christmas because, uh, Because around that time, the church had tried to outlaw Christmas because people were being too boisterous. Too many poor people having fun. That's when holidays get threatened, is when poor people have too much fun. Yeah, if only there was a hero out there.
Who could, you know, I just thought of something terrible to say that I'm not going to say on microphone. Yeah. We can all picture it, though. We all have an idea of what it was. I was going to say was neo-Nazis have appropriated so much cool shit from us that I think we should appropriate some shit from them. That's it. Not great. Anyways, so I watched one of those. I'm trying to think if there's anything else.
I got to say not, though. I'm sorry to be such a bummer. I did go see this, not horror. Well, it's horror, Jason, because it was directed by, what's his name? Zito. I went and saw Invasion USA on 35mm at the Hollywood Theater. For those of you who don't know... uh, in the eighties Zito, what is his first name? Is that, uh, I see Chuck Zito. Is that, I forget his name. The guy who did like the prowler and.
Fuck. I can't believe I only just remember The Prowler and nothing. Anyways, there's a point where Zito and Chuck Norris teamed up to do a few movies. They were incredibly popular. And so... cannon hit them up and chuck and his brother wrote an incredibly uh jingoistic uh xenophobic script called invasion usa and then zito got it was like yeah yeah whatever let's just blow a bunch of shit up
And that's why Invasion USA is both awesome and then laughably stupid, which is like for me, as you know, just in a really great combination. If I can both go. That was so dumb. And then, oh, that was so sick. That combo of things really tickles me. And that's what Invasion USA is, because Chuck Norris really did think, we in America are too free. And because we're so free, random terrorists could come in and try to conquer the whole country.
He really thought this was a real thing. And so that's why he made it Vision USA. Whereas Chuck Zito, he also thought something, which was that $9 million was a lot of money to make a movie, and he was going to spend every fucking cent he could on explosions and squibs. And that's what he did. Explosions and squibs, Justin. It's just constant shooting and exploding and shit. And when did this movie come out? 1982.
And that was the last time a person in power thought that people were trying to take over this country by coming in. Thankfully, that mindset has died out forever. It is very funny that like an idea that is when he, when, when, when you watch this movie, no part of you is like prescient.
You're like, what a fucking... No, Joe Zito. My bad. Joseph Zito. Why did I say Chuck? I don't know. And it came out in 1985. Directed by Joseph Zito, co-written by Chuck and his brother. I forget that dude's name. In which Chuck Norris is like, you know what? A CIA-trained assassin who was saving the world from a full army of terrorists, you know what he would wear? He'd wear a denim shirt tucked into jeans with a giant belt buckle. A massive belt buckle.
I – all cards on the table, I don't find Chuck Norris amusing at all. I don't know if it's just because there was that like horrifying like – stretch of years where there was that like really beat to death meme about like oh chuck norris did i think i don't even think like i don't think chuck norris movies are amusing i don't find chuck norris
I don't know. Like, it's crazy because I would say that Steven Seagal is objectively a worse person than Chuck Norris, but I find Steven Seagal films, like, tremendously more satisfying than anything Chuck Norris has ever done. This is an insane thing. You should have picked somebody. You should have gone with JCVD because I could at least understand what you're coming from. Steven Sculls never made a tolerable movie. That's not true. They're all terrible. No, that is false.
objectively false. If you said JCVD, I'd say... Overall, you're right, though both Steven Seagal and JCVD have never been in anything as good as Invasion USA. If you take Chuck Norris' whole career, he really was only in, I mean, he's in Enter the Dragon, right? So that's, you know, automatic pass on that.
But all of his own movies, they're really not that great. Invasion USA, I think, is a standout. I think a lot of his martial arts movies are pretty... boring uh with some exceptions there's one called the one that's both a horror movie and a martial arts movie that's like awesome that kicks ass but the majority of his movies are pretty boring so your argument holds a lot of water here i think people overestimate how good chuck dork
is because of some i don't know dumb joke from the movie dodgeball right isn't that one of the places this joke comes from i i i don't know i i can't tell if i don't know if dodgeball was like kind of just like riding that wave i think it was riding i think it was riding the wave
but it popularized, you know, things become huge because of one major source of it. You know what I mean? Like some people were making jokes about Chuck Norris and then dodgeball exploded that joke into everybody's faces. You know what I mean? I also want to say that I am powerfully angry at you disregarding the films. Out for justice and hard to kill.
Fuck off. How the fuck? How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? Because look, look, first of all, Evasion USA is better than anything Stephen's garbage. Not true. Better than anything he ever did. Not true. And then you want me to, this dude is the worst dude ever who ever existed. He can't act. He can't fight. It's boring. It's boring. Talk about Chuck Norris. We're talking about Chuck Norris.
Steve Skull. He's a boring man who does boring things. Chuck Norris at least is writing one cool thing. He fought Bruce Lee in a Bruce Lee movie. That is not something to scoff at. That's a real thing. Did he at any point use a mad ball in any of his movies? No. Did he beat a man with salami in any of his movies? Also no. Did he sacrifice his fucking life to save Oliver Platt, John Leguizamo, Kurt Russell, Joe Morton, and another guy? Did he do any of that? Nope, he didn't do any of that.
Did he fight fucking William Sadler in any of his movies? No. Steven Seagal did. Mm-hmm. That's right. You take that to the fucking bank, you son of a bitch, you motherfucker. In Invasion USA, he has two Tech Nines on weird holsters on his shoulders so that they just hang by little hooks so that he can just reach to his armpits and pull them forward to shoot people. And it makes this sound that no gun has ever made where it just goes...
And it's literally the perfect thing that's ever existed in the history of film. I don't want to talk about this anymore because I'm getting like, I can feel my pulse in my temples right now. How the fuck dare you? Have you seen Out for Justice? Out for Justice is, oh my god. I don't have fucking time to talk about how much I love Out for Justice.
I mean, that's fine. You are a child of the 90s, and you're blinded by all that 90s glitz and glamour, whereas I'm more rooted in the 80s, where things still had heart and soul, you know? I was born in 83! I remember the 80s! Yeah, but I mean, this came out when you were two. I was six. I was in the theater watching it.
By the time Seagal's coming out, I'm in high school. I'm too cool for this shit. That is not true. That is objectively not true. You were not in high school in the early 90s. I mean, what year did it come out? Out for Justice? Yeah. I'm yelling right now because I am just in a froth. I love it. 91. Out for Justice came out in 91. Sorry, I was in middle school. My bad. Hard to Kill came out in 90.
Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. So anyway, did you do anything else? What I love about this getting you so worked up is like, I have no... no reason to defend Chuck Norris whatsoever. So like that part, I don't even care. It's just the idea that you're like, you're like, Oh man, Steven Seagal. I'm like, what are we even talking about? I am not defending. I am defending the likes of.
I'm not saying Steven Seagal is great. I'm saying he has a handful of great films that somehow... came out of him being involved in them somehow his dumb fucking stupid ponytail pseudo-Italian, fake Native American ass created, helped create three incredible films that were indicative of 90s action culture. Have you seen Executive Decision? Yeah, I think so. It's great. Look, I'll rewatch a couple of these dumb Skull movies just to humor you and let you feel like.
I'm taking whatever weird thing you're saying. Did you do anything else involving horror? Let's talk about creature commandos. How good was that last episode of creature commandos? Thank you. I knew there was something I wasn't thinking of. My God in heaven. My God in heaven. Baby Jesus himself held me while I fucking wept at that last episode. I mean, it was a real, I was getting real worked up about it because I just think.
I don't want to ruin anything for anybody who hasn't watched it yet. But Creature Commandos, in case you're wondering, it is hard, Jason. It is from the comic books, a team of monsters. It's very different from the comic books. The origins of Creature Commandos. were was so stupid it was GIs took some sort of serum and they turned into monsters and then they fought in the war as monsters which
only works for the werewolf, right? The idea that a dude took a serum and turned into a Frankenstein's monster is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Except when Carl Buechner told us in the song... Slither. Oh God. You must turn yourself into a monster to fight against the monsters of the world. Actual Earth Crisis lyric. So, uh...
This version is James Gunn's like technically his first thing as like the head of the DCU. And he's resurrected this team. They're all voiced by actors who are going to. be in the live action version, which I think was a good call. And it's funny. It's like, I think you could compare it to a
a less wacky Harley Quinn, but with actual action sequences. Like, you know, Harley Quinn, there's no action. It's just silly and goofy. This is like actually action-packed. There's shit happening. It's maybe not perfect animation, but really solid animation. the voice acting is really good i think the writing's been really good and they've really created a fun team and gotten back to some of what maybe was missing about the suicide squad a little bit just in the idea of like
You start to feel bad. You know, these are... criminals, monsters, whatever. But you do start to feel a little bad for them just being thrown around like weapons, right? Yes. And so they managed to get to that a little stronger in the show, I think, and have slightly more sympathetic characters. very sympathetic, obviously towards one character that I even saying which character it is, I think it's a little bit of a spoiler. Uh, but also, uh,
Because earlier on, the bride, I think, is very sympathetic. And there's a fish lady. What's the fish lady's name? It's like a normal person name. That's why I think it's like Vera or it's something super mundane. Yeah. So the fish lady, as far as I can tell, I don't know that she did nothing wrong and she doesn't even really have like powers, powers that she, she.
you know she's a fish lady so she could swim in the water and shit but like she's not like shooting lasers or anything so like when the shit goes down she just tries to not get her fishbowl shot so that she you know air drowns or whatever you know what I mean like it's it's like anyways it's really good it's it's very funny but has uh well and especially this last episode has a lot of heart you know James Gunn has James Gunn has a real talent in being like
I'm going to inject just a little bit of like pathos into this moment and really pull on your heartstrings. And then even the episode before that, like the episode before that was like.
Oh, my God. I was like, okay, if this is... G.I. Robot is a member of the team, and that's what Justin's talking about. And I want to specifically put that out. Apparently, I didn't know this, Justin. G.I. Robot was a very popular character for a while. I don't know that he's been... used recently, but back in the day...
There were a lot of different versions of G.I. Robot. People were stoked on G.I. Robot, which I think is interesting. In this show, they make him so – he just wants to shoot – he just wants to kill Nazis. Literally every other word out of his mouth is like accusing someone of being a Nazi, talking about – about how he wants to kill Nazis. I kind of love it.
I like it when the one guy's trying to connect with him. He's like, I know you want to kill Nazis, but what if you could do anything, like something for you? And he's like, you know, I miss the boys. I'd like to be back. together again with my friends and uh what's the name of their company something company i think it's just easy company yeah back with my friends and easy company and he just pauses and he goes killing Nazis. I love that even in this moment where he's like...
trying to get past his programming, he can't help but circle back to the Nazi killing. It's magical. I don't know. I guess some people might not think it's magical. But to me, it's magical. This is what I want. I want a robot who's entirely charming and is only happy when he... He kills Nazis. That's great. That's perfect. I want that all the time. And what's the guy's name who voices Dr. Phosphorus? Oh, my man, Alan Tudyk. Amazing.
He's unbelievable. He's amazing. People will know he's amazing because if you actually look at his voice credits, like I brought up Harley Quinn earlier, I think on Harley Quinn, he's Joker and... One of the people in Harley's crew. And I think he now is Bane because the guy who was Bane left the show. Like Alan Tudyk's just incredible. He's done so many things.
uh, across so many platforms and is a fun actor, like as a live action actor too. Like he's not just a voice actor, but yeah. Speaking of dodgeball, he was in dodgeball. Oh yeah. I forgot he was at dodgeball. Anyways, I like Alan Tudyk a lot. I find him very charming. Yeah. Anything else? No. I mean, I think I watched this really shitty movie called Out for Justice.
Oh, I've heard about that. It's the greatest movie of all time with the greatest actor of all time. And then the second greatest actor of all time. What did you do recently, Justin? I watched, so I've seen a slew, we'll say a slew of films. I watched Smile 2. Oh yeah, I watched Smile 2 as well. I forgot. Uh, that movie fucked me up. I, it's, okay, when we, when I say I watched a horror movie and I wasn't entirely sure that I enjoyed it, that actually sounds like an endorsement.
Because we've both watched horror movies that were so intense that it's like, what I'm saying is like, they're next, this is next level. And Smile was very intense. I don't know that that means I loved it, though. You know, like I went into it. maybe with too high of expectations but it is very intense and there are moments in it that like are viscerally upsetting in my mind oh yeah I don't quite think it stuck the landing at the end.
No. I think that's partly why. I think because I could say it's so, like, it does certain things so well, it sounds like I'm like, and you should go see it. And I'm like, but, go see it. Watch it at home. But I don't know. I don't know that it's successful. in everything it's trying to do, but it's certainly a higher quality than I thought it would be. Yeah. I also watched Never Let Go starring... It's the new Alexandra...
Aya film? I think it's pronounced... He's the guy who did Crawl and High Tension. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. It was okay. It was like... If you watch the trailer, you can probably pick up what's going on. And they kind of do that, but also they don't, and I don't know. I finally saw The Substance. Have you seen that? I sure have. Very Cronenberg-y in a way that... Because there's that tendency where people are like, anything remotely involving anything icky or like...
Like flesh, like flesh slapping against flesh and turning into things. It's like, oh, it's David Cronenberg. The thing that hit home best when it came to Cronenberg for me for this. was the procedural stuff of like, you have to take this and this is, you have to take, you have to inject yourself with this. And then every, every seven days you have to extract this from that to put into this and you have, you know what I mean? Like, and there's the state.
Like, that all, that part of it, that was the most Cronenberg aspect of that movie for me. Not the weird fucking, you know, that. But it reminded me a lot of, like, in Dead Ringers. When Jeremy when Jeremy Orange is like, oh, my brother's a drug addict. So I'm going to do a bunch of drugs to sync up with them. And there was just something about that. The whole idea of like, oh, I have to stabilize the body and I have to nurture and all this shit. I was just like.
That's fucking Cronenberg right there. Like the weird techno jargon, kind of like positronic brain medical stuff that he is so into. That's what got me hooked on that movie. Also, man. Demi Moore, fuck, she like haunts my dreams. I understand that. It's like unreal. It's not cool. I don't know. I also watched a movie, Afraid, AI Afraid, on Netflix. Oh, yeah. You know. No. Yeah. Thank you. I watched a movie called... Uh, Replicator? Eh. You know.
It's fine. Sure, sure. Not horror, but I watched A Different Man starring Sebastian Stan. I really want to watch that. Very good. Very good. A contender for my favorite film of the year. I watched a film called The Becomers last night, also very good. And then the big hard thing I watched was I finally watched Terrifier 3. Oh, okay. I laughed a lot.
There were two specific moments that I think were excellent examples of David Howard Thornton's training in physical comedy that I think really stuck out. That being said, I do think there's an element of try-hard in this movie that wasn't present in the first two entries. Interesting. And that kind of bummed me out. I mean...
I have not watched it because I have not watched the other ones and I don't know that I want to. I was listening to a podcast where they weren't even talking about it directly. They were talking about it indirectly. And someone was saying that they thought it was. significantly different for them from at least the first movie. And I thought that was interesting that even a casual watcher of these kind of movies was like, I don't know, this feels very different.
And was, whereas they had fun with the first movie, they found this less enjoyable by their estimation. So here's, without giving away too much. My biggest problem with this movie was that... Art the Clown is the fucking star of these movies. These movies are about Art the Clown. And Thornton is fantastic. I have, you know, I could watch that guy act all the time. I think he's a fantastic physical actor.
I think he's a great guy as a human being. This movie tries to do too much with the stuff around him that I don't think is as successful. Because it's like – I don't know. It's like they're trying – I don't know how to say this without giving too much away and I don't want to give too much away. That's OK. Yeah, it's just – I still liked it. Like I said, there was –
There was a scene I posted on Instagram that I was legitimately like – I had to like pause the movie because I was laughing so hard. And I don't mean that in the way that like, oh man, I laugh at like really fucked up shit. Like this was like genuinely – Oh, fuck, that's brilliant, like, physical comedy. But, yeah, it's just like...
I get that I appreciate the concept of like, we're just going to make these movies with no explanation for what's going on. But I if you're going to hint at some sort of mythos behind the scenes and what's going on. You can only do that for so long before people are going to be like, well, what the fuck is all this shit? Like, you're just introducing all these elements and not really – they're not going anywhere. And it doesn't make any sense if there's just like –
I don't know. It's hard to – I mean people who have seen the movie will understand where I'm going with this. But it feels like they're trying to build up to something with like this incredible backstory. But also haven't really figured out what that backstory is. So, I don't know. I... Also didn't really, there was a lot of, not like, so there was a lot of, there was a lot of talk going on about this movie, about how like misogynistic it was. And I understand that criticism.
But in this entry, it was just sort of – there was this idea that like – one of the criticisms I read in a review was that like every time – a woman is killed we see it in graphic detail but every time like a man is killed it happens off screen and i just kind of didn't get that You know, like there was a male character that was killed off screen, but there was also like one of the most like excessive kind of like, all right, we get it. Scenes was involving a guy.
And there was lots – you know what I mean? So it's just like – I think these movies are rapidly becoming like punching bags for people who want to criticize horror as a whole. for being like misogynistic and like overtly violent. And I get that because these films are violent, but this is like low hanging fruit at this point. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm not sure that this movie warranted any of that, but I also don't think it really helped the case that these movies aren't anti-women.
So I don't know. But if you like gore, if you like Terrifier and Terrifier 2, if you haven't seen Terrifier 3, you're going to like this one. You know exactly what you're getting into. It's exactly what you think it's going to be. So yeah, that's my – that was my HAR. That's all I've done involving HAR recently. Okay. Oh, I also went out and saw werewolves again. Did you see it again? No, fuck no. Oh, goddamn. I thought you did. I was going to be like, what the fuck? No.
Have you been – this isn't horror. Have you – did you watch last night's finale of Dune Prophecy? I did not. I'm hoping they bring it together. I'm hoping they bring it together because I feel like – They've got to be building towards something. It feels like we're not anywhere right now. We're somewhere. I need them to pull it together. It's pulled together, my friend. It's pulled together. All right, if you say so.
Let's just say that. I'd be kind of up and down on the show here. I need them to pull off this landing for me. Fear is indeed the mind killer. Let's just say that. Okay, okay, okay. I kind of thought that was the direction we were going, so I'm interested in that. Yeah, yeah. Bless the maker and his passing, Liam. Bless the maker and his passing. I mean, I will say some of that stuff gets a little on my nerves here. Some of the references gets a little on my nerves. Really?
Part of the religion around the Shai Hulud was made up by the Bene Gesserit. So the idea that 10,000 years ago, they would have been like, oh, no, the Shai Hulud. It's like, what? No, what?
No. It'd be like if you had a scene with a bunch of parents and they're talking about stealing money and one of them goes, I don't know, Santa Claus might get mad at us. And then they took it very seriously. It doesn't make sense. It's like completely inconsistent with the books in every way. I think it just was.
someone wrote it in the script and they're like, yeah, that makes sense. Leave that in. Are you implying that Brian Herbert doesn't understand his father's mythos and legacy? Well, I definitely would imply that, but I'm not assuming he wrote the scripts. In fact, I don't even think he was that involved in the show, from what I understand.
I think that someone just said, this sounds like something someone would say in a dude movie, and they just threw in a couple lines here and there. And granted, there's other stuff that feels very... It's just a couple of times people talk about the worm in a way that I'm like...
I don't think they'd be that worried about the worm, honestly. I think they would be, you know, everybody knows about the worm, but there's a couple times they used very religious ideas that I was like... they made up that religion the whole idea of the book is that they made up that religion there they planted it there hey you know what what
Isn't all religion made up and played by the Bene Gesserit? Oh, yeah. I like that idea. I feel like if all of our religions now were made up by the Bene Gesserit, they'd be a lot less misogynistic, right? They'd be a lot cooler. I'd be into it. Yeah. Anywho. I just want to use the voice. That's all I'm saying. I wouldn't trust myself using the voice. Oh, fair.
So we're going to take a quick break, and when we come back, we're going to talk about 1980s American slasher film directed by David Hess and his directorial debut starring Jennifer Runyon and Farrah Swanson following a group of... Dipper Santa Claus. To all a good night. We'll be right back. It was the start of Christmas vacation. A few were staying.
and they plan to have one hell of a good time. I would sincerely like to wish all those students leaving for Christmas vacation a pleasant journey and the happiest of holidays. TJ is coming up with a few of his friends tonight. The dean of the school is away, so the girls decided to invite their boyfriends.
It was against school regulations. But they were always very good at breaking the rules. This time, they'll wish they hadn't. You must pray. Pray so the devil won't claim you for one of his own. Santa came to kill. What the hell are you doing up here in that dumb outfit? Even the police didn't suspect Santa Claus. Oh Tom take that bloody mask off. Take me to bed. No one suspected Santa Claus. He was hunting for blood. He was everywhere.
What kind of a crazed mind was killing and mutilating his victims? There was no one to help. No one at all. They died Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night And we are back to talk about 1980 slasher film, the second... This isn't true. There's no way. Okay. We're talking about To All a Good Night, the second feature film in history to portray a murderous Santa Claus.
As a villain. There's no way this is the second movie. There's no way in 1980 there wasn't 40 movies about evil Santa Claus. Well, there definitely weren't 40 movies. Five. maybe hold on so hold on let's i'm going to do a little goozling here first movie I think it might be Christmas Evil. Yeah, okay. Well, here's the thing. The first American movie, at least, to have Evil Santa was Christmas Evil in 1980. Okay, yeah. So what year did this come out? 1980.
Yeah, so this is literally the second movie with the killer Santa. You got to remember, when Christmas Evil came out, it was hugely controversial. People protested. Everybody was really offended that this was an attack on Christmas. They're attacking Santa, Justin. They're attacking Santa. Santa can stand up for himself.
I mean, that's true of the whole thing, though. You can't go back to that. All of it could stand up for itself. That's why it's so ridiculous, all the defensiveness. But that's their M.O., you know? This movie is not fit to stand in the shadow of Christmas Eve. That is 100% true. This movie is not fit to stand in the shadow of Silent Night, Deadly Night 3. Three? I'm not with you on that. I don't know, man. This movie felt so by the book and color by numbers. I wasn't nuts about this movie.
No, I mean, I'm not nuts about it either. I feel like I particularly disliked Silent Night, Deadly Night 3. I feel like that was one of the ones I really disliked, but I don't know. They all kind of run together for me a little bit. This is true. That is the one with Bill Moseley and the weird head thing, right?
No, I think that's four. Oh, okay. Then yeah, fuck Silent Night, Deadly Night 3. I think that's true. I don't know. We watched all of them and now I can't tell them apart. Anyway, so this movie just felt like... And again, it's impossible for me to say, I don't know if it's just because I'm so used to like the tropes of slasher films. And this movie came out 45 years ago, almost at this point.
It just – like I was – this just felt very predictable and very – I don't know. Nothing about this movie really felt fun. I don't know. It just felt like worn out.
I wouldn't say I found it totally not fun, but it is more disappointing than it is fun. I mean, you know, the goofiness of the Santa just walking around with the axe and the... uh the way the movie wants to be so horny but then is afraid to have too much nudity i always find that so funny it's like every moment of this movie somebody's horny but then it's like okay here comes the second boob shot in the movie get ready for
Here comes a little bit of boob. Okay, we're done. We got to move on. And I'm like, what? How is this? What? What are we doing? It's like the whole thing. It's like these are the horniest. By the way, I think they're teenagers, right? So side note, one of these cops sleeps with a teen at the old finishing school. That's fun. That's a fun 80s thing that they were into in the 80s. Not that any of these women look like teens at all, but still.
Yeah, no, I'm with you. It is very paint by numbers. There are some differences from other ones here. But I think... This early on in the slasher genre, when a movie tries to do its own thing, it doesn't feel creative. It feels like the people who made it don't understand the genre. You know what I mean? Yeah. Later on, you'd have people who...
You know, try new things and it feels like, oh, they're really subverting. This just feels like these are people who heard that these kind of movies make money. So they're going to try to do it. And it's one of those movies that is incredibly low budget. But. has you know quote unquote real actors in it you know what i mean like this wasn't an indie vhs film you know what i mean like this is not a uh a uh uh what's that halloween one
It just went out of my head. Sorry, y'all. It's got the pitchfork on the cover. What is that fucking one called? Anyways, the point is, this is a production that was trying to be... B level Hollywood with the money that like you would use to make like a, a New York street film, right? Like that, that's what's going on here. And it shows. There is almost no cool special effects in the movie, which is a bummer. And a lot of the performances, pretty bad. Pretty bad. I...
I personally, you know, it's Christmas time. I've been around too much soft media. So watching something this unapologetically horny was kind of like... Okay, I can get into this. But then it doesn't do anything with all that. It's just like, we got to have these teens do something. It feels less like the people who made this movie had any inclinations. about a story here and they're just like we want teenagers to watch this so these teenagers need to make out
And that's sort of the entire insight. And it's just kind of disappointing in a lot of ways. That being said, I don't know. There's some parts that I liked, you know, when the...
When the popo got the axe to the face, I thought that was pretty good. That's pretty cool. When the one dude... catches the grot the grot the grot the grot i don't know how you say that word but regardless he catches that i thought that was pretty good that's a good fade right there uh there's a couple of kills at the beginning that are so fucking boring that i'm like yo is this how it's gonna
the whole movie oh when the girl goes to the shower and there's just a decapitated head on the shower i thought that was pretty sick uh but like but i i just feel like like like there was no And you know me, so this is saying something. I'm not a big fan of crazy gore. I could have used a little bit more blood.
Well, yeah, just because it's so... What they didn't have, this is my assumption, but I think what they didn't have was a good special effects person. The reason a movie has a shit ton of gore, other than the fact that... kids will pay to see it is because there's someone on set who is at least willing to try to do something gory, right? Yeah. The way that these kills are shot.
I just don't think they had anyone on set who had any skills. And, of course, that just means they didn't spend the money on that. They didn't think they needed it. But... This movie really fucking needed it. All this movie needed to me was to be a little bit grimier and have some actual... gore in it and then it's like you know it's no pieces but I could see it being compared to a pieces yeah but here's the thing about the kills like the scene where
I think it's the first time a crossbow is used. Yeah. That's a pretty well shot scene. That looks really convincing. Like when the dude takes the fucking crossbow to the back of the head. That kind of stood out to me because I was like, oh, if only the rest of the movie was this well made and this well shot. It was –
But in that same scene, they have a decapitation that's like the lamest. That's what I'm saying. It's the kind of thing I would shoot at home with my phone is like that decapitation scene. It was so courty. Again, don't get the wrong idea here. If we do have it. new listeners, we're not gore hounds. I don't think a movie's good just because of gore, but occasionally if you nail the special effects of a gore scene...
it can really bring the level of a movie up, right? Like certain horror movies that are really struggling production-wise had that one makeup person who... sold some really crazy moments and that lifts the the profile of the movie this movie needed fucking something because there's nothing nothing about it stands out now i i did not find it
I guess here's the thing, Justin. We've been doing this long enough and watching horror movies on our own long enough. I didn't quite find it annoyingly incompetent. No. It's not Science Man or whatever that movie is. I'm sorry. It's not what? I think it's called Science Man. Look it up later. You'll understand. Okay.
But that doesn't matter because if something was like, why are you looking at why we're talking? Don't look it up right now. Sometimes when something is truly incompetent, just next level stupid, that can also be a little entertaining. entertaining and instead this movie is mostly boring and I think that's the problem is that even though I wasn't entirely bored I was more bored than I was amused and that's not what you want especially in a field
And it wasn't like this in 1980, but it is now. Christmas horror is a very crowded field, right? There's so many now, so many. And this does not stand out as a Christmas horror movie at all. So here's – going back to what you said about a boring film, this is a – like – As much as I'm shitting on it, this is a competently made film. It follows a formula. For the most part. There's some weird editing, but overall competently made. It's formulaic, yes, but this film knows what it's doing.
Like it's – it has a red herring. It has like the classic, oh, the killer is – has the connection to – like that's all there. I will give this movie credit for that. Side note, they definitely are like, hey, here's an old – poor white man who might... have mental illness or developmental delay issues. We're not going to clarify which. We just need you to think he could be the killer. And of course, you immediately know he's not the killer because he's like 12 feet tall.
If they wanted us to think he was the killer, they needed a much taller Santa Claus to be doing the killing. Yeah. But unlike a movie like, say, what was it, Graduation Day? Sure. Which is bad, but fun and amusing and doesn't really have the sort of like bland, I don't want to say cynicism that this movie has.
But there is a touch that this movie was just getting made to cash in on something. Whereas a movie like Graduation Day is like, that felt like people making a movie just to make a movie and have fun. This movie does not feel like that. Or I would compare it to the movie I was trying to think of before was Hack-O-Lantern. Hack-O-Lantern from 1988, shot on video movie. It's so wild. It's just a wild, wild time. But also...
Not the most perfectly made film, though I will say it's pretty solid for a shot on video movie. But I'm sure lots of people listening, if they're big horror people, you've seen incompetent... but amusing movies. That's a thing. That's a thing in horror. This is not that. This is like... kind of amusing at times, but mostly it's just well made and boring. This is competent and sterile, which is a fucking horrifying combo. It's...
Yeah. I mean, that's sort of what I was saying is like back with the – The reason the horniness feels so forced, it feels like a box you check to be like, I made a movie for teens. Yes. Drinking and horniness and some violence and the bad guys are. Old people. All right, we got all the, we got all the, you know, and I will say the reveal of the, of the, the, not one, but two killers in the movie was a little too Scooby-Doo-esque. It felt a little too Scooby-Doo to me.
As soon as they revealed who the killer was, I was like, I bet the other killer is fucking that. And I was right. Mm hmm. You want to avoid, if there is a mystery to your slasher, you want to avoid a Scooby-Doo moment. You don't want to have that vibe to the end of your movie. And it definitely goes there. And it's not even like, it doesn't... And I guess maybe this is weird because, you know, as much as I'm not a fan of the Scream franchise, I do like the twist.
I guess you can, in Scream with the, you know, the two killers. I was like, okay, that tracks. That makes sense. Of course, there's these two fucking idiots. This one was just like... all right well that's obviously not oh okay yeah then it's that person it is that person great like it just felt so and i say this in a way not in the way that it was cruel it felt heartless
Right. It didn't have any passion for what it was doing. Yeah. Because again, going back to earlier what I was talking about, a movie like the Terrifier franchise. You can tell that Damien Leone, whether or not you like those movies, that dude loves making horror movies and he loves watching horror movies. I mean, I would even say the same thing about someone like Rob Zombie.
Yeah, his filmography is mostly medium rare, but that dude likes making – he loves making movies and he loves the genre. This has none of that. This has none of that to it. Yeah, I would agree with that. I think that's fair. Yeah. Again, I wasn't totally out of it the whole time, but...
I really was hoping there'd be at least one cool, you know what I mean? Like sometimes a movie is pretty bad, but it has just one moment that you're like, oh, that was pretty neat. And it didn't have anything like that. This is definitely, I think, an avoid. Let's avoid. this one guys it's it's not worth it yeah although i will say there is an actor in this movie um i don't know the character ralph kramer was played by a guy named buck west which
That's not that guy's real name. I'm sorry. As I look it up and his name is like Buckford Westington or some shit like that. So that was To All A Good Night. We are going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to talk about the vastly more amusing, but I won't necessarily say better film. Oh, I'll say better. Elves! We'll be right back.
An innocent romp in the woods turns into a hellish nightmare when an evil force is accidentally awakened. Action International Pictures presents... The gruesome holiday shocker. Elves. They're not working for Santa anymore. When a rough day at work, Santa got murdered. Their mission, to mate with a virgin and conquer the world as a pint-sized master race. I'm saving it for someone special. Dan Haggerty stars as Mike McGavin, an ex-detective working on hard times.
First you stand and then you die. She is the most important person on earth. From her will grow the new order. Santa must expose this unholy force before the elves destroy Christmas. Jesus Christ. And we are back to talk about the... Folk? Volk? It's... Let's go with Volcar Elves. I had heard about this movie. Obviously, everyone has.
I'd never seen it, though, before watching it for this episode. And it had something I was not expecting at all, which was fucking Nazis. Not only does it have Nazis... Was I correct? They do say that the one character is the last pure-blooded virgin that descended from... Like, I didn't mishear that. Yeah, no, that's the idea. Sure. Something along those lines. First of all, the idea that she's the last...
when we got this big old buck of a man with his long hair and his beard walking around, I'm like, that's the master ace right there. Look at this man. He's a big slice of sexy, that guy. If you guys want to know, for those of you listening who haven't seen L's. This is the kind of movie else is. There's a moment where we see this big old buck, this big old dude, this massive man who looks like he could either be a country singer or a biker.
Or a professional wrestler? You're talking about Dan Haggerty? You mean the guy who played fucking Grizzly Adams back in the day? Right, the big dude. Yeah. So, we see this dude walking up to the... uh department store right and because it's christmas time there's a band out front playing music
But on the soundtrack, you're not hearing horns. You're hearing the MIDI keyboard 1980 whatever version of horns. So, like, even though in the shot there are people with horns, you're hearing me, me, me, moony, moony. Moony. And it's like...
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You couldn't get someone in the studio to play an actual trumpet? No. You had to fucking do the keyboard version of the trumpet? No one is fooled by that. No one hears that sound and goes, oh, those trumpets sound a little funny. No, no, no, no. one who heard that goes what the fuck is this keyboard music doing in the movie what's happening right now and that's the whole vibe of the film
If you're going to enjoy elves, it's going to be because the whole thing is unhinged in my mind. It's just totally off the rails. Grizzly Adams is like particularly off the rails in it. Our teens are, yet again, just like this weird mix of too worldly to be teens, but then also fascinated by having never had sex before and they're going to fuck in a department store or something. I mean, I get that.
It's a really weird characterization for these teens where it's like, on one hand, we need them to be kind of innocent, but on the other hand, we need them to be maybe ready to stab somebody if they had to. It's so strange. we got the nazi thing there's a whole like nazi occultism angle going on and then can we talk about the elf the elf himself the the man the man the myth the legend the elf the singular elf in this movie yeah
is literally a misnomer because there is a elf. Yeah. What do you think of the elf? I mean, it was fine, I guess. For what, okay. For what this movie was about. It was fine. The special effects weren't the best, but whatever, I'll take it. Could have done a little bit more with the elf. I don't think it was in the movie enough for like, I don't think it was in this movie enough for this to be a movie about a elf. And I think it was introduced way too late in the movie.
Fair. Like, there's a good chunk of this movie that is just about Dan Haggerty being sad that he doesn't have a job anymore. Well, I mean, they're just setting the tone, man. It's the 80s. Everyone's out of work and sad. and ready to fight about it. He lives in a trailer. And then we got our female protagonist, her stepmom, who's not her stepmom, who's her actual mom, is going to steal all her savings? What? Sure. Yeah.
There's so many aspects of this movie that are so crazy. It's insanity. I think I want to interject that I found The Elf to be wonderfully terrible. It is some of the... They really own what is one of the worst special effects I've ever seen. end of my life and they are on they're just like we're gonna use this elf so fucking much and what's so strange is that a lot of the action of the movie
does not directly involve the elf. There's a lot of action between Grizzly Adams and these Nazi guys, right? Yeah. And then the elf was just sort of being a mischievous little guy. He kills some people like his mischief is specifically murder, but like, it's not clear what his motivations are so that at the end, when it's revealed that his, his existence is not actually about.
randomly murdering people for no discernible reason. And it's actually fucking, he's there to fuck y'all. He's there to fuck. He's a semen. He's a semen distributor. He's there to distribute the Aryan semen into. Possibly unwilling ladies. It's such a crazy turn. In a movie that, like, quality-wise, feels at times...
Like, it has to be a TV movie. It's only the amount of fucks in the movie and the fact that it's nasty. You know it's not a TV movie when the mom murders the cat, right? In a scene that is like... Obviously, there's no cat in that toilet, but she fucking sells that she's drowning something in that toilet, the way she acts. And then she brags about it.
Like, she's like, she thinks her cat's gone, but I killed her cat. I'm like, yeah, we got that. Like, you didn't need to fucking talk about it. But Grandpa didn't know, and she hates Grandpa. I guess. Yeah. Because he, you know. You know. You know. We know. I don't know, man. So did the Nazi thing, was this enjoyable for you? Did that derail you? How did you feel about Elk? It was...
I don't mean to sound, like, snooty. I found it amusing. I found it amusing in that, like, this movie is called Elves. It very easily could have been, like, these kids are fucking around in the woods. One of them, what, cuts herself. There's an elf waking up by the blood. Mayhem ensues. That's all this movie needed to be. To be like a solid horror movie. The fact that they inject all this fucking weird...
Again, Mike Mignola-esque mystical Nazi shit. I was like, what the fuck are they talking about? And Grizzly Adams has to find not one, but two nerds to explain to him why there's a relationship between Nazis and elves. It's literally like... I mean, granted, his version of research is just to threaten some poindexter to tell him about the Nazis. But like, it's crazy how that's a theme is like, while all this danger is actually happening, he has to go off and like threaten some.
nerds to find out what's going on and there's like a there's like a like a like a talisman like oh we have to destroy the elf stone oh um i was okay with that Because that's how you destroy elves. You have to destroy their talisman. So I thought the Nazi angle was a little much. But at the same time, I get it. You know, this movie felt a little overstuffed.
But I'm okay with that because I will gladly take a movie that swings for the fences and fucking misses over whatever the fuck end to all a good night was. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll say this. It is helpful that they never decide to push Grizzly Adams into...
Tom Atkins territory, right? Oh, thank Christ. He's never like, hey, I'm here to protect you and also to tap that ass. You're a virgin? I can fix that. Yeah, and no disrespect to Tom Atkins. I think when he's the lover man in Halloween 3, it's... It's fine. But in this movie, I think it would have derailed an already over-packed narrative that didn't need any more details to it.
I kind of like that the chaos, though, happens surprisingly early in the movie when it's like that her friends are dead. The whole department store is a murder scene. That's halfway through the movie. There's still a lot of shit that has to happen. I was kind of surprised at that. I will say, though, a movie with this much Nazi elf action cannot possibly hope to stick the landing. it just can't and this movie I think does not quite totally stick the landing it's fine it's a fine ending
But, like, there's no good – I mean, they've already – how many different people have said they're basically unkillable? Elves? They're basically unkillable. Oh, the thing about elves is that they're basically unkillable. That – the end of that movie, like, the last thing we see – is a baby, right? Oh, yeah. The suggestion is that somehow the elf was successful. But the elf doesn't fuck. Well, maybe he's got a different way of doing it, Justin. Huh?
You don't know. No, but they make it a point to talk about how the elf has to have sex. But maybe... No, it's just a silly... You know how stingers work. None of them make sense. We already talked about pieces when the guy, you know, remember the pieces and he grabs his balls? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That movie's really cool because it has, what's his face in it? That movie has, um, the... The guy from Dune in it. Sure, but my point is just that the stinger on a...
Cheap horror movie doesn't always make sense. So it was a picture of the baby. It doesn't always make sense. Maybe he got it in earlier. I don't know. Don't say that. Don't say he got it in. Oh, my God. saying maybe he made some magic happen a little earlier we don't know no i think it was just a haunting thing to do i mean it's better than like uh that uh you know maybe he
Maybe electrocuting somebody is how he gets them pregnant. I don't know, man. Things happen. It's weird. I don't know. I think the thing about the – we haven't quite communicated about this elf. Saying it's a special effect is being too generous. This elf doll that they use is supposed to be threatening. Even when it's killing people, the way they've constructed the face of this doll, Justin, is that he always looks a little too nonchalant.
Like, they can't make him look fierce. He looks slightly annoyed, and I'm fucking here for it. Even when he's murdering someone, it's just like... He looks kind of like a little frustrated maybe. Yeah. And then when he's like being protective of her at the end and maybe trying to seduce her a little bit, same vibe, same look on his face because it's a doll. And you're just like, fuck, man.
God, this is crazy. Again, lots of people have made movies where the effect of the creature is not effective enough. But what you tend to do is hide that fact. And this movie's like, no, you need to see this motherfucker over and over and over again. This movie has the arrogance of a bad moon. With the fucking special effects of The Beast Must Die. Ooh, The Beast Must Die. I was going to say, what was the abortion horror that we watched? Oh, um...
The suckling. The suckling. But even that was better than this. You think so? I 100% think so. All right. That's fine. That's fine. Because at least the suckling looked cool. Yeah, that's fair. It just is the idea that it's also like we're going to base our whole movie around a basically inanimate object. It's like a fucking MacGuffin. Like it's already kind of not really doing much. And then.
You know, the special effects were just like, all right, it's fine if it's just like there, but don't make it do anything. I will say the only kill he has that really – well, I guess a couple of them are okay. But his first kill when he just stabs the –
mall santa in the balls over and over again that was that was a pretty good way to get us going there i was like oh we're gonna be like that huh but i don't know that anything else is quite at that level of threats in the movie honestly nothing else really stands out like i just
And speaking of another – aspect of this movie that i was like of course i'm sure is how they have the outline of the dead santa that just they just leave it there yeah so we don't forget that you know well what happened and grizzly adams keeps talking to it Yeah. All right, Ed. I'll see you later. Yeah. Also, the fact that Ed, who's apparently a drug addict, Santa, when he hits on her and before she hits him, the way he hits on her, he just says the word oral. Yeah.
You know, I haven't known a lot of scumbags in my life. I've known a few here and there. I feel like I've never known a scumbag who'd be like, watch this. This shit's going to work. oral. That's all he does. He just says the word oral. It's so weird. This is a weird movie, but I... Unlike the last movie, I think this is undeniably entertaining. And it's gross in some ways, but also kind of fun in that. And I really found the...
The fanboy nature of these Nazis, right? Which might sound weird, but except for the grandpa slash daddy. All the other Nazis are like newbie people. They're following the dream. And that guy was actually there. And they're stoked on this elf getting his way with her in a way.
that is just overwhelmingly nerdy. It's like, they're not just evil, they're nerdy about it, is how it felt. And I kind of liked that characterization. It felt very disrespectful to them and their beliefs. Because that's how the fucking Nazis actually were. That's how nerds like Himmler actually were. They are just fucking D&D nerds giving power. Only not as cool because D&D nerds are actually kind of awesome. I agree. I agree. A tiefling, Justin, a tiefling. He brought it back.
I mean, you know, I just don't know if you know. Oh, fuck it. Went away. Never mind. I thought I still had the list up, but I was going to read another random. There's some race that's like half elephants or something. I don't fucking know. So. I guess that's elves. They couldn't call it elf because, you know, in the future, you know. I guess that's our Christmas episode. Merry, merry, everybody.
Yes, and to all a good night. It's happy Yuletide. Season's mistletoe to you and your lovers. Have a holly jolly holiday. I hope you're neg. Oggs all over the place. Speaking of which, speaking of Chris Reject and Nog, tomorrow night, which is Christmas Eve at the time of this recording, I am going to get Chris... Drunk as all hell and I can't wait. Off Nog. That I made. Wait a minute, what?
Why are you the one getting it? What's happening? What are you talking about? He requested that I make eggnog. So I raided my late grandfather's liquor cabinet, dumped everything into a gallon bottle, mixed some eggnog in there, and he's going to get it. Okay. So anyway, www.xlvacx.com. Go there ASAP because Chris is going to be...
too drunk to make a good decision. And this is one time when you can take advantage of someone like that by getting advantage of all the great deals at LVAC, Lehigh Valley Apparel Creations. Also, this weekend, um... is their holiday hangout. I think it's the 27th. Yes, the 27th. 27th. It is... The big match is going to be Dan Champion versus... Yes, December 27th. Dan Champion versus Ultramantis Black. Take one guess who I'm rooting for. Dan Champion? Fuck no. I hate Dan Champion.
So yeah, you can head to www.xlvacx.com for more, patreon.com backslash Cinnapunks Essex Coffee Roasters for all your delicious coffee needs. Although I suppose it's now a little bit too close to Christmas to get that. Coffee is year round. Okay. All right. Good night. All right. Merry, Merry Fishmas.