HP Guide to Christmas Dinner

Uh refer to her by her prefix introduced to some some of y'all may know that a original Red Couch podcast where the politics came from ladies and gentlemen, My wife, Dr Alma Zarragos A penny, I'm back, see back in the building. Man. Listen. It's been this whole season ever since I joined the I Heart family. The o g ain't been on the show, No, I have not. It's also been like a whole pandemic. So there's that, you know, Yeah, we uh but I'm excited. Yeah, it's been so long.

Some of y'all been asking, y'a where the Red Couch chat, and I'm like, uh, we're busy, and um, she had other things she was doing. Yeah, I was writing a book. This fool wrote a book, but only coming out of that um cave I put myself into so that I could finish. Yes, yeah again for somebody out. I don't know if some of your movies. Uh, how her politics came about was, um, my wife and I doctor Alma. We had a podcast called the Red Couch Podcast and it was broken up in the four sections. Uh so

it's like twenty minutes segments. The first segment was hood Politics and then then the next section what do we do? Like, uh, what's the other one? Well, we have Hey how's your Heart? Remember that, Hey how's your heart? Yeah? We had almost vocabulists. Yeah, uh what uh what was it? We had some sort of like pop culture things. Yeah. The other one was just pop culture silliness, current news. Yeah. Then we did

a justice part. We were just like we just talked about justice issues, and then we ended with Hey how's your heart? And we had almost vocabulists. So but Hood Politics just took on its own life, right um, and that's how you guys have got to this speed, which

is what you're listening to right now. So we figured for this Christmas episode we would do something special, a little more Red Couch style yeah, I'm saying with the doc times in and usually the doc has incredible gems and big words, and once we get her started, you know what I'm saying, like she'd be giving us, giving us the heat rocks of things that like you got, I know a lot of times like you know, people say that the way I break things down, you know,

is what they like. Um, but my source materials her, she's the actual academic and uh, I'm just a better communicator, you know I'm talking about Okay, I don't know, I'll just play it anyway. Uh, thank thank you. Um. So, today what we want to do is this is we want to do a Red Couch slash Politics uh combined guide to surviving a Christmas holiday meal at either a Black or Mexican house. Yes, Christmas, some Black Ican Hood Christmas.

Because there are some rules that aren't true for every culture. We just figure let's do some fun uh here at the Almaganda Home the Hood Politics Podcast Family. We just want to give y'all some gems of how to survive Christmas in our lives. So how it's gonna go is I'm gonna give you a couple of points, a couple of pointers about if you're pulling up to a black family. Now a couple um disclaimers on this. I am from the West, Okay, so there are some variations. You know,

there's some regional differences. Like at my house, we'll get into this, but when you're pulling up to my house, it's dominoes, it's not spades. And that's actually a very important notice. I think I've come to the conclusion that like dominoes is like Texas and Cali, Texas and West, because I feel like everybody else, like they play spades, you know, from the Midwest, you know, Chicago, East. My my mom's family, you know, they're from d C. That's

it's all card games. But they play something called tunk I know, you know what I'm saying. And then they play space that's they face card games. Yeah. For us though, it's I'll hear my my father is from Texas and and then you know that he's the side of the family that migrated to Cali, which is why I'm a Cali boy, which is why I played dominoes. And my family that's out here, it's dominoes, you know. Yeah, so that's that's one of the nuances. Uh, that's that's a

little different, you know what I'm saying. Obviously, there ain't no snow where we are, so the weather is a different story, you know what I'm saying. What the neighborhood, the whole neighborhood looks like. So, so one of my caveats is, like I'm talking specifically about where a West Coast family, and there are some variations and you may have to adjust accordingly. I think there's some caveats for YouTube,

there are there are. Um I'm I'm a daughter of immigrants, so i didn't grow up very um you know in the Chicano Chicana kind of sphere. I'm more of an outsider, I feel like, even to that. So it's a little different than the more like Chicano household, which I think

would have a lot of similarities. Um, you know with some of the things that I'm things that I'm going to talk about, and then also things that I know, you know, like we often joke about being on people of color time, which you know, that's just across that's that's just across every d um. So yeah, so I

think that's the caveat. You know, Like I'm obviously not speaking for all of the Latino community, and that I have a very specific you know um intersections of who I am, and you know, sometimes do it like we don't know what the blending of like the hood versus like the family thing is day And so I can't say that this is like bona fide what you're gonna expect, and every single lets you know the household. But they're

pretty like the pretty that's a pretty strong yes. You can't go wrong if you stick to the Yeah, and some of them are real problematic, but well we'll talk about that. We'll talk about that. So, like I said, so for for the black guy again from Cali, so this is very West coast uh and with with some Southern roots, but we are not a Southern family. We're not an Eastern family. We're not a Midwest family. Were very specifically this. And then for Dr Alma, she is Mexican.

That's not Salvadorian. That's not as Dominicans, you know what I'm saying. And and she's first gen. So these are not we're not she's they're not Cholos like this ain't they're not votos. This ain't Chikano, which is very different, which is the which is funny if you know our backstory, that's what I grew up with. I grew up with. I realized now I grew up with cheeks. So some of the stuff that I thought I was supposed to do. When I met her family, they was looking at me

like the hell is he doing? I was like, wait, what? Yes, we're very much traditional in some senses because our proximity to like, you know, our country, home country is much more you know, it's much more existent, and so that we just kind of have like the ways that we do like things very traditional. So yeah, ain't no low riders that some gendered and that's what I mean, like, I mean like gendered which which did not continue in our family. My wife did not continue some of these traditions.

Should I Should I go ahead? And you want to go first? I mean we can. We can take turns you okay? Were you don't done with the dominoes one though? No? I dominoes just like just an example. Yeah, I gotta rule for that though, So do you want to start with that? Sure? All right? So well now I think maybe we should go chronologically. So I think, uh, you already brought up like when this thing is going to start.

So the time thing, you're gonna be given a time to be there, which is probably two to three hours earlier than everybody expects you because they know everybody's gonna be late. So that's that's gonna be. That's gonna be real. Like if somebody say, hey, we haven't dinner at two, they haven't dinner at four because they know you're not gonna get Yeah, I make sure you get that snack in because you're gonna be really angry when you get there.

To get there ato and just don't get there because you're gonna start setting up at least in you know, our Mexican um in my family, Like you're gonna start setting up at that time. Yeah, what we mean is I'm gonna start getting stuff ready for this party at two. Yeah, if you there, you self, come through to help me or don't come. That fan is pretty similar because I'm like fools, like dressed, we're not even dressed yet, you know what I'm saying, And like data bid expect you.

They're still vacuuming, and if you're gonna show up, I know, And yeah, exactly, I know with black folks, if you're gonna show up at that time you you better be here to help. Then somebody gonna hand you a mop. You're gonna get a bro. You're gonna be sent to the store a baby. Hey, who who? Who? Your little friend? How are you doing? Hey? Run to the store right, get us some ice. So you're gonna you're gonna be running errands. Yeah, if you're gonna show up, you're gonna

show up like that. Yep. Do you do you all have like because I think this is distinctly I think in the Latino community something that happens a lot. Do you all have like a bunch of different excuses that y'all give when people are trying to ask you to like what time you getting there? And do y'all do that?

For instance, like if someone if like there's a there's they're expecting you, right and someone's coming by to pick you up, you almost know to lie, like you should definitely just say yeah, you're ready, even though you're not, because you know that by the time if you said you're ready, then at least they'll start getting ready to come get you. Then they'll come get you. Oh yeah, all my way. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, I'm almost I'm almost there. Really means thanks for calling me. Man. Now

I know to get up and get better. Go get you that that's that's just in general. Yeah, like you tell somebody hey, hey, when they say they on their way, or they around the corner, corner, they get in the car. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's yeah, get yeah, that's apparently that's intersection happen. They just got in the car. Yeah, that's super irritating. Um okay, So for now, Christmas in a black family will number one. Like, like we said, it is like probably not gonna start

on time. But at the same time, it's a weird balance because at the same time, you still got to respect the house and not show up so late and then expect to get Like if if Grandma said were sitting down to eat, really we eat when Grandma's ready. Okay, you know what I'm saying. That's it. It's really what we eat. Well mama, grandmama already. But um, one thing with us is like you can't show up empty handed.

And now there's a few caveats on that which would roll into like rule rule number two point five two point seven is if nobody asked you to cook something, do not bring your grandma's favorite dish. Do not bring your mom's secret castle role. Like, listen, we are very serious about our music. Every cook has been vetted. You know what I'm saying, Like, if you wasn't asked to cook nothing, don't bring And if you do, let me

tell you something right now, no one's eating it. It's gonna say you're gonna be gonna bring it in foil and you're gonna bring it full right back out. If nobody asked you to cook something, that stuff is hand picked. It's vetted over years and years of experience. Nobody asked you to cook something. Don't bring something now, but don't come empty handed. You better come with some sodas, Come with some drink, Come with a plate, knives and forks, uh,

some flowers. Something that's like showing napkins. Something that's showing you, not just you're not just here to receive that you here to give. Now, if you show up again, I tell you, OK, stressed. This ourk stressed is if you show up with some unrequested food, it's gonna go right back with you. It's going right back with you and somebody gonna starting. What you're saying is I should show up with some food that I really just want to keep for myself. And that way I could, they're gonna

talk about you then get made fun. They're gonna talk about all right, So your turn when you're walking the door. So the reason why I feel like this is a small price to pay is because you just need to You just gotta expect that you will be roasted, like in our house, Yes, no, in our house and ending Dartino like household where all the theas get together and y'all decked out to the nines, even though y'are just gonna sit around in the living room and just kind

of like talk to each other. Oh yeah, we dress up even if we're just gonna sit in the living room. Okay, that's okay. So bet it come looking good, Yes, come looking good. And also just get ready to get roasted by one of your theasts with somebody, one of the theas or theos is going to usually at the it's gonna have something to say about some the way that you look, just some way in some way. That's why I'm like, oh, I'm okay with getting you know, I'm

used to getting roasted every time we get together. It was like, oh yeah, almost she ain't got no job. She's still at school. When I was younger and I was still in grad school, is like, yeah, she don't really want to get a job. That's why she can school. Now, why you ain't got a job? You know, getting a pH d? Yea, They just didn't get that, you know. It's like, hey, wait, so you finish school. I was the lazy one at the lazy one whoa, whoa with three jobs? Yeah, what are you doing with your life?

You got no kids and no jobs? Who's wrong with you? Yeah? That's hilarious. Yo, Okay, that's another similarity. You're gonna get, You're gonna get. You better come in with a thick skin, be able to laugh because they're gonna roast you. Now with us, it's like here's this, but then roasting you is that's proof that they've accepted you and we like you. If you're ignored, if nobody say nothing to you, if nobody's like everybody's being real nice, nobody saying nothing to you,

you're not family. Niggas don't love you. Worried, worried, if no, if you that's the what Black people. The worst thing you can be is left alone. If they just leave you alone. You don't matter. They ain't even thinking about you. They ain't nobody even thinking about you. What I'm saying, you're not really one of us. Do you get looked?

So remember we talked about this before, about like the way that like black people roastate kids, we like everyone, and and and I think that's something that people got to understand, is like even about just like why we don't even talk about bullies a lot is because like our mom, Yeah, why were you even getting bullied? You don't even say you getting bullied because you don't even know that, because we don't even know that's what it is. Like you like my auntie, you know what I'm saying.

So to me, it's like and and and what's crazy is like none of these boys, none of these kids in school is funnier than like your your uncle mumsey or like none of it or they're gonna roast you and it's hilarious. So your side hurts because it's so funny. But the other thing is like nobody is specifically targeted. So that's why it doesn't feel like bullying equal opportunity, egalitarian,

everybody can get it. Everyone the only the only different is the age thing is like you have to kind of there is a line you gotta cross with the elder that like none of the grandma generation, you're not allowed to say nothing in him, you know what I'm saying. If it's they can't yeah, you can't touch them there. Now, you may have aunties and uncles who are kind of young. The ones that are on the younger side, you could

clap back. The ones that are on the other side, like your mom's oldest sister, you gotta leave her alone, you know, saying, But the younger ones and and the cousins, Oh, it's going down. So yeah, So that's that's another similar Ready you're gonna get roasted. Yeah, and you just and if you cry, it's worse. Yeah. Look, don't cry, Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, look we drag you because we look. Look, society is gonna treat you like this. Let's go ahead and get

you started. Give you some cliff notes, ye yep, but have a clapback. And when they do it as cool. That's why it's funny for us as school too and foods our roast at each other. It's like, so good man, you ain't worst than my mom. Work. We need my mom ad Okay, so you're gonna get roasted. So what I don't know if I should crying, if I should laugh right now? That's interesting about having to dress up, Like, yeah, so you you for us. That's a Southern thing. We

don't have to dress up. Yeah, you gotta dress up because everyone's gonna be looking at you and have something to say about it too. So you gotta make sure you're like, you know, we go to your sister's house, I'd be like, damn cleaned up because you used to look at me like you're wearing that and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm not dress up all right, So CPT time colored people time. Uh, don't come empty handed. You're gonna get roasted. You're gonna get roasted. You better dress up good. You're

going to Alitino house for us. Now, want you in the door. You came at a decent time, you had some food for somebody. You have to for us find the host of the house, like whoever's house this is, that person must be greeted, like that's the cardinal rule. You when when you leave in, when you're coming in, when you leave it, you have to greet that person specifically. Everybody else could dap up what everybody being polite, but specifically you need to look them in the face. Maybe

from the youngest to the oldest. When you walk in with your child, Hey, say hi to say hi to Stephanie. Hi, Stephani. You gotta give her because it's her house. Thank You have to greet the host of the house. Yeah, that's a little different for and in the Latino community. Um, you gotta say hi to everyone and hug and kiss everybody. Everyone, everybody, even the weird uncle, even like anybody, which if you

know me, you I was talking about my uncle. I was talking about like I did not want to do that, and ergo, why I don't make my children do that. That's a whole other story. But yeah, you have to give everybody in there, hello, hug, a kiss, acknowledgement, you know everyone, and when you're leaving to like, you just cannot come into a house without um being you know

great everything, every person, every single person. So you know, it's usually like about a good depending on how many people are already there, it could take a good half hour before you settle in because you gotta go say hi to everybody first, you know, give them their hugs or kisses, and at the end two it might take an hour to say about everybody. At that point, that's crazy, what you would that? Dang, you gotta gree everybody the only the only one that you absolutely have to greet

the host. I like that as the host right now, if you got any sense, you're gonna do most A lot of times there's a room where like grandma and her friends are. Usually Grandma's like for It depends. It depends on how spry your grandma is. Sometimes she's already sitting at the table. She's gonna get up, Yeah nope, Or she's like she has her spot, you know, everybody buzzing around her. So you go, yes, your grandma, you

gonna give her a kiss? You know what I'm saying. Um, maybe peek in the room where like other uncles or something, it's like, hey, hey, what's our nephew. You know what I'm saying. You keep going, but I don't have to like going there unless they say, hey, you come here, come here. That means maybe drinking by that time. Come here. One you got your little girlfriend. Hey, hey, nephew, keeping

with cute little girlfriend? You bring around where she yet Yeah, she had a pretty jough that you remember that one last year pretty where she at my current one is he here? My wife is here? Yeah, So okay, so you ain't gotta greet everybody with us. You gotta greet them and then you got a greet. Now, I will say this like leaving is drama. Yeah, I think I think you'll beat us in that. Okay, Yeah, yeah, I don't think there's the y'all y'all champions in that. In

that sense, it's impossible. Yeah, y'all take forever. It's all bad. You're you're right, Yeah, Because Mama gonna start a new conversation. There's the like all right, okay, baby, come on, tell your cousins by. So then you're like, all right, y'all, but you know, not to really sell them by yeah you know what I'm saying. Okay, mom, even you got like an hour to play, Yeah, you got another hour, you know, because she's gonna start the conversation while she

in the while she in the kitchen wrapping up food. Now, which is it goes back to rule number two. She's only wrapping up food because we brought food. She wasn't supposed to bring her no, no no, no. If you know, if you didn't bring anything, you can't take no plate home. Oh oh yeah, yeah that's different. No no, no, no no, no you would you what you're getting that foil out for? What did you bring? Like, no, you can't take food,

you ain't bring you trip, Yeah, unless somebody offers. Let's they say, hey, you want to take some of this home because they're trying to get rid of it. See, we always trying to get rid of it. Because the amount of cooking in a Latino party, it's ridiculous. Like there's a lot of food. We have so much food and don't and don't turn down nobody's food that they bring. They just get an equal place at the table, you know, at the buffet table. It's like yes, the more the merrier,

you know. So you're gonna get like a plate, you could get several plates when you leave. You you have to because that's rude, you like leaving the host with all this food that they made for army. Yeah, there is a little bit of like okay, if you this is this is a this is now this is a nuanced one. If you brought like if you didn't bring food, but you brought soda and you want to take your solda back home with you. That's looked down on, like you can't be like, hey, where that ginger? Are I

brought that ginger? I'm gonna take it back with you, just like that's just cheap. Why are you gonna do Exactly, it's like being judged, like wait, you're going to take it back even if it's half drunk, like it's almost there, Like you're gonna take it back with you like you get or if you had, like, hey, I'm gonna take back you know what I'm saying. Now if you want your like dish where it's like, hey, let me get my my bowl like I brought you know, my yams

and my bowl. Then you washed it, you found something to put it in the rest of the stuff, and you're taking your bowl back, right, But that's all happening after mom told you to go get tell your cousin's body.

So she's still washing, she's still holding place. Talk girl, let me tell you about Then they're telling stories and then you get to the living room and she said, come on, son, Now she's started another conversation in the living room and they just now at least she's holding her keys at this time and then and then the next one is like jacket at hey, tell your sister to go get our jackets. So now, Nikki, you gotta get the jackets. And are you still on that video game? No?

My god? Wait where you choose on? My shoes are on? Right? Come on? Now? Yeah? Girl? So this and then they're talking, and then there's then there's the standing in the door as another conversation. Then there's the standing on the porch. There's then there's the standing at the car car door open, holding your keys, and now she mad at you for taking too long. Then I tell you let's go get in the car. Son, Okay, mom, you know what I'm saying.

And you sitting in the car, you start looking at each other like all right, I'm gonna go say, I'm gonna go talk to you. You just get out where you going? Okay? Now you just but yeah, yeah, it's a good hour after Yeah, leaving sucks. Yeah in a Latino household. If if it was a success, you know by by whether there's going to be an after party the next day it's called we have like a name

for it. So the next day there's the it's called like you know, to translate it like literally, it means reheating. Reheating party, so you reheat the food and you continue eating at the come back. So yeah, if it's been a success, it means that you had so much food. People want to eat it. They're like, yeah, man, i'll

see tomorrow. You know, yeah, I just come through. It's like the closer people you know, to the family, get invited back to just continue eating the ginormous amounts of food that has been that's even happy people to take stuff hole still food. There's another after party and it's say it again, what's the name of it just means reheating, reading, read it and then come all back. That is incredible. Yeah,

we're pretty hard. Yeah, yeah, we're pretty hard. That now there's that's there something we do know, Like anybody who lived anywhere in the vicinity of a Mexican family on the holidays were hard. He looked just I've said it many times. Just go get a plate if you if you the black family, just go cross street going. The reason you can get a plate is because they made so there's so much. They don't call the police. They're gonna be playing day. By the way, rest in peace. Um,

that means you're gonna be going even harder. It's Christmas, It's gonna be It's gonna be v Knows with the mustache, busts, handlebars, playing Boliver and like double fisted Mordellos crying their eyes out to some chance, y'all think Drake make nigas cry, like n't they make him cry? Boy? Yeah? Buddy? All right? Speaking of which, what are the rules around around the drinking?

What's what's some of the what some of the I feel so removed from that, but because yeah, I like two years Ober now, because yeah, I haven't been drinking, but I meant at the parties, first of all, the men are gonna egg each other on to see who can drink more than the other, for sure, you know it's just And then the wild tias that's what we call the ones that ain't married and yeah, went to school only but never got kids. Those are that's the

difference between an aunt and an auntie. Ye auntie, she's still you like she young, She's still she got a bluetooth in her ear. You know what I'm saying. She was like he was probably bad in the eighties, y'all, saying yeah, okay, anyway going yeah, so those they're gonna get down to um and yeah. I mean we usually had so much alcohol, even at little kids parties. It's just part of the way that parties were had, Like

it wasn't you know. Like it's so interesting because now as an adult, when I take my kids to like kids party, I'm like, oh, yeah, this makes more sense. Like kids sized food, like size like kids sized drinks, drinks four kids. Yeah, But in my birthdays growing up, it was like servesas the guila, you know, mole. Like

it was. There was no like kids side, like you're gonna eat whatever we're eating and you're not gonna drink no alcohol necessarily, but there's gonna be so much of it and it's gonna be It's it's really really like a who can hang tillo? That's really what it becomes, you know, like who can't get so like just keep partying and not be gone, but still be level headed too and still be chilling and not y'all be fighting.

I don't know that I grew up not like that, but I've heard that there's like, yeah, I could it could get wild now where Yeah, like I said, like I grew up with Chicanos. May be fighting, yeah, like it's just and it's like and you already you could you could count the beers and to win the fight on like y'll be fighting now with us with black people.

We we don't be fighting like that, like fist fighting unless y'all like hood hood like y'all like y'all like gangs like where you guys are like multi generational gangsters or y'all be like fighting like that. But there's something like it was interesting even out of here in l A. It's like you know you you you you bang your section, so you may you may be like Granny. You may live near Granny or a granny's house where like Christmas is happening and everybody on that side of town is crips.

But you know uncle Ray Ray moved to Inglewood, so they're all bloods, know what I'm saying. So like you got cribs and bloods in the same house, you know what I'm saying. But it's Granny's house, so you respect you respect granny. So you know your cousin, you come in like what's up, grant to give her kiss? You'd be like cracking couse your cousin be like, what's bracken blood? You know what I'm saying, Well, you know what it is. You know what I'm saying. But it's Granny's house. Is cool.

We're gonna respect her, you know what I'm saying. We're not gonna get down like this. But like nias no, like on set. You know what I'm saying. So, but if it but if y'all start drinking truth until until you need to start drinking, you know what I'm saying, right, or until or until a dice game or domino start playing. What's gonna be the next thing I'm gonna talk about once? Because now now money is being exchanged, and when you start slamming the thing down, you're gonna say blood too

many times, like what's up? Blood? Like, you know what I'm saying, fits ain't blood. Like somebody's gonna be like hey, cut, hey, low, you're gonna stop. You're gonna stop slipping up there, you know what I'm saying. Then they're gonna be like slope, what's crap? Like Food's gonna start doing these like derogatory terms among each other because foods is either losing money, getting salty and they're getting salty or it's just you got a little few more in them, didn't get weird,

you know what I'm saying. Uh, that's that. But yeah, so for us, it's like it's beers, but it's the brown liquor round round our parts. It's it's that brown. That brown will get you, you know what I'm saying. And for our our yeah, our aunties, the aunties, which are the young ones that can get down with like get down with us. They're they're dancing, you know what I'm saying. They're drinking, They gossiping, they screaming, somebody cutting

the rug. At this point, if you wanted the children has been made to do a dance, you know what I'm saying. That's so like y'all be partying all night. That's the thing where like black people is like we're tired. It's like, he show him how to do that new dance. You know what I'm saying. You got to dance for him, you know what I'm saying. But most of the time, you know, they gossip and they're talking about this man

ain't ship. They're talking about ex boyfriends, and yes, it wants wants the liquor start going you feel me and but it only give VI if like foods is losing money at the game table, that's understandable. Yeah, speaking of the game table, Yeah, that's what you'll be doing. I think is definitely a game that's that's very much cross generations, like we're all gonna play you know, um, but there's definitely a lot of card games um, and I grew up with you know, also seeing um like the men

play dominoes, but domino different. Domino is different than y'all dominoes. Ours is a way of life. And number two like speaking of which, it's either dominoes or spades, like we said before, but one of the cardinal rules about that is like if you when somebody asked, if you're a guest and somebody asked, can you can you play dominoes or you're not to play spades? They're not asking if

you know the rules, They're asking are you good? And if you are not so confident in yourself of being like, oh I'm ana mop, y'all, do not sit at that table because we already said you're gonna get dragged. That's one of the other uh oh that like it dials up the dial up because it's like I can't believe it, like just merciless, we talk trash. It's money up. Listen, okay, okay yo, here go, here go real, oh man, drop

my phone because it's getting real. Let's just say you are somebody's if you're less like as a dude, you somebody's you, somebody's like boyfriend. Like, so you're there, but your connection to this house is a girl, right, let's just say, or somebody else's. Yeah, somebody's somebody else's family. You're the guest, but specifically if it's male to female, specifically in our house. Right, So men are gonna test you. It's like, can you play dominoes? Okay, it's kind of

like drinking. Yeah, I know after marrying your family. Yeah, but so if you sit down and play, there's a few things that happened, like nigga, don't be too good, but at the same time, don't be trash because if you're too good, somebody's gonna be like, hey, he like it. The same thing like a house party, someone would be like, hey, you start winning, y'all shooting dice, You're starting winning, you taking, You're taking the money. Somebody's gonna be like hey, hey,

hold on, hold on, hey, who know cusey? Who are you blood? Like? Who know blood? Who you with? You know what I'm saying. And if you name a female like it's like, oh that's not that's not a good enough past. And if you name a female now now I'm like them. If they cousins, they're gonna get protective. It's like, oh what like you know what I'm saying. You here with my little cousin. How long you've been messing with it? What are your plans where now you

get it? Gonna get pressed because of Nigga's is mad that you're running the domino table right now. If you're losing, they're gonna be like at your little softass, your little cupcake casts you can't date my cousin, Nikki. You don't know how to play, you know what I'm saying, Like you ain't mad enough like or even worse, this world get crazy. If the family actually like her ex boyfriend Moden, they like you and you pull up to the spot you out here either being trash at the game table

or you being too good? Yeah, oh yeah yeah, they're wild be like hey what hap it happened? And then they're gonna start talking around you. And you remember that boy, remember Brian what that nickname? Oh yeah, Daniel, Daniel. That nig was dope and he was better than Union. You

just gotta take it. Speaking of toxic masculinity, patriarchy, good transitions things, there's one that's I mean, if no matter where you go, I think it maybe this might be cross like like Latino communities, not just in the Mexican households, Like no matter where you go, there's a hierarchy of

who gets to eat first and how they get to eat. Okay, okay, So for instance, and in my household growing to Mexican, you feed the children first, okay, because they're even though they're like get clowned and you know, the theast come at them, they're also venerated, you know, and they're like, you know, they're seen as more like uh, vulnerable, and you're supposed to serve them, you know, like they're you're standing there, you're grown, you're grown ass person you're standing

there with Yeah, and then they and mainly because it just shows bad on the parents to not be doing that, because it because it's another reason to get roasted if you ain't taking care of your kids. So you gotta take care of your kids. So you feed the kids first. And so if you're a parent, you better like know that you gotta do that because that's another reason that your tizz will come at you. And then once your kids eat, it's very like typical for them, the wife

or the girlfriend to serve the man or their boyfriend. Yeah, mama, mam wall get on you. If I'm the new boyfriend and you don't make play, mom will get on you. Yes, Is that is that also something y'all? Hell no again, But again I'm from the West. It's different, I think in the South. Yeah, I've seen a lot more in the South. You get that man to play, you want to keep him. That's what they believe that like, that's how you keep a man is the stomach. You know

what I'm saying. That's very Southern. That's very different when you marry somebody who's who's not about getting patriarch what I did. Well, not only that, but you don't love food like that like in Latino households where we just be eating for fun sometimes, you know, because eating is like almost like a like a sport, like an activity. Because again, there's way too much food, so we gotta

eat it all. But anyway, so you're supposed to serve your husband or your boyfriend first, which you know, like two or three boyfriends. And I was like, all right, yeah, I'll do this. After that, I was like, you know what, I don't like this part of our culture. I don't know, right, Yeah, that's one of the ones that I really like buck

up against that. My tas have like fodder four for sure, Yeah, because because then they're like, oh, I'm gonna listen to us novio, you know, like they just got something to talk about me. Let me tell you, let me tell you podcast listeners. My wife does not make my plate. I think I made it like a few times in the beginning, just so I could be like mainly because we were about around my parents and I knew I had to because then I would be found upon um. But as soon as we got me, as soon as

I got you, not around a fair Yeah. It's so crazy because I'm watching her serve everybody, I'm like, dick, and she didn't. She didn't made a plate for both of our kids. She's over there helping her dad, and I'm just like, okay, well that's that's a lie. You know why I know that because your mama makes my mom already got here, stop lying. Okay, okay, I'm putting, I'm putting, putting extras. Okay. Uh so yeah, so yeah

in the South, you you you you serve that. Now I will say this once we're all sitting down, the patriarch like the figurehead everywhere. As a grandfather or in any other any of the grandparents generation, you know, you let them get their food first, know any other grandparents. Um, but usually like the father, whatever that father is, he gets his choice of meat first. He gets the best, the biggest chicken, the biggest one. You know what I'm saying.

That's one thing that like, you know, if if if I'm like in a cousin I'm if I'm in the cousin tier right with the kids or the cousin tier, and I'll reach for a piece of chi and that's the size of for a full grown mail. Oh you're gonna get your hand popped, right or yeah, or one of them, one of the moms or the auntie is gonna be like that's for that's for your daddy, that's

for your father. You know what I'm saying, Like they get the biggest pieces of stuff that grab you a little wing, yo, saying, grab your little jumpstick because you're not you're not allowed. That's not for you, we know, you know, And for kids we don't necessarily From what I remember, is like, we don't serve the kids, but there is a section of the table that's for them because and and they'll put it over there for them. Okay, y'all, y'all gonna get y'all things. You know what I'm saying. Now,

I serve yourself, get yourself plate. Now you want some of this, you know what I'm saying. And then and then they'll make sure that you wanta put your little nasty dirty hands aga inside the food, you know what I'm saying. So that's one thing we are like, Yeah, that's only where we serve. And then and then y'all gonna go sit over there, you know what I'm saying. Um, and then and then and the party starts. Yeah, okay, so that's yeah, we don't at least him where I'm at. Well,

that's they don't. Theyn't necessarily certain mean like that. Um, what's another one. No one should have to tell you. If they have to tell you already messed up. Two Like clean up your book and stuff. No one should tell you. You You should already know. Get up whoever cooked whatever. You should have already been complimenting them. Tell them, oh man,

that was amazing, you know what I'm saying. Then you go, you know where the trash can look if you should already be tying up the trash bag, like, don't let it. If you wait for somebody to tell you already messed up, you know what I'm saying, and say, hey, can you hey, you mind grabbing me? That messed up? You should already be like wiping up stuff. Be like you know Auntie, uh, you know, miss Jenkins, where do you keep the broom? Okay, baby broom right there? You should already ask her, you

know what I'm saying. If you wait, if you wait and somebody got to ask you, or if everybody cleaning up around you, you don't already messed up. See this is why I don't know if it's regional or not, but for us, it's like being the host comes with like certain responsibilities and one and I think like an a Latino household, like it's about how you serve and how you treat everyone while they're there, so you actually want to beat the host wants to beat the their

guests um from cleaning. See, that's what's crazy. That's why I'm like, maybe that's happy. That's what I'm saying. All this stuff, this is nuanced, what I'm saying, this is unspoken. Yeah, you don't understand what I'm saying. Like you're supposed to as the guest, feel obligated to help, yes, and as a host you should, like at least from how I remember, it is like you should feel like like you should do it before anyone else does, so, before the guests

start cleaning up. It almost shows on the go on the host like dame doing their job, you're slacking, You're you know, like, oh so so if I'm at like your theast house and like it, don't clean up after yourself. Yeah, but I'm saying, if I just start helping while she's still eating, it's almost like she's like, oh my god, yes, like you just met. Yeah, you basically just told her like her, she don't know how to throw a party, y'all? Did y'all follow that? You see how you just messed

up by trying to help. You just messed up by being like you just told her she's a trash host. Yeah. So, but I do feel like there are some caveats where like now if you offer to help, yeah, you gotta ask that person if they if you can do it, because it's almost like a reverence, like they're gonna tell you how to do it, right, Okay, that's true, you know, So I don't know if that's that might just do one if you're just like if you ask, like, hey, would you like me to would you like medium to

the trash before you? Thank you so much? You know what I'm saying, Dann, that's different. Now you better just start where we are, like, you better just start and and at some point like and then that's the other thing sometimes with like the cousins, Like if one cousin gets up and starts helping your mama, gonna look over at you and being like, why wasn't that you You see Sean over there taking the trash out? Alright? You

know what I mean? So now I gotta go in there, and you'd be like, damn Sean, Sean smiling, But you know, uh, yeah, that's that's that's that's a good one. So what's what's another one. Let me see you got any more off the head that you could think I do. But I'm trying to remember the name of it because it's been so long since I. Oh wait, I think I might

have it. So the other reason, the other thing with the theosis ones they're drinking is that at some point someone's gonna throw money in the air, like change vol I think it's called volo. Yeah, Okay, I feel so I just outed myself, right, I feel like such a hipster because you all remember this, Yeah, And it's basically where like the pool, they're either pools some of the change like the men will or like uh just or or someone would just know to bring like a whole

bunch of just change. Um. I haven't seen this lately because I feel like this is more like like recent yeah, like Mexican households, and you know, I don't think we have enough around now in terms of like deals, you know, and and children to like do this anymore. But I remember growing up, at some point in the night, probably by a deal that had one too many, he's gonna throw some money in the air and people and then all the kids are going to rush and try to

get something like almost with money. That's so dope. Now I gotta look it up. I can't remember the name of it, and it's driving me crazy. Oh man, ain't nothing like that. Now. There is definitely an uncle that's gonna like hand you like a dollar, hand you five dollars, like I come here, don't tell your mom give you some money. Um, do y'all have a we're gonna go for a while tradition, not that I can think of. Why do you have that? Yeah, that means you're gonna

go smoke some weed. Yeah, we're gonna go for a while. I thought that was like the elders going on for a while for healthy reasons. No go, so you So it's like so, and you can always tell, like, all right, so cousin Kirk, cousin, Aaron, cousin, Ben, cousin Desi. It's called bolo. So I was very close. I was calling it volo with the v the vacup. But it's a b the boodle. So all right, they're gonna go. Well,

the point is they're gonna go smoke. And if these are your other cousins and they go, you wanna go for a walk, You've made it. If they invite you on the wall, Dang, you made it, because it's kind of a ride of passage because they're gonna go, I will go smoke. You know, we're gonna go for a walk. Can't come now, We'll be all right back. Damn it. Once you go play when we play one video game, so then you then you stuck in the vide your

game room. So there's that like that eleven and twelve thirteen fourteen win window when your seventeen eighteen, nineteen year old cousins when they go for their walk, when they finally are like yeah, come on, then you're like yes, yo, saying, even if you don't smoke, it's just cool that you that they let you go, because that means you understand you, you're in the you're in the circle of trust, yo, saying.

Does that mean that you've graduated to now being able to roast others instead of roast being the one that's you can roast a buck, you can roast up, you can always roast down, but you can't roast up unless you've crossed that line. Now. Yeah, Now, when you when you eleven thirteen fourteen, you when you're eleven twelve thirteen you're actually your roasted skills really ain't as good as everybody else's. But you learn it right. But if you get a good clap back, that order that clap back,

if you can get a good one in. Sometimes you gotta say I'm under your under your breath, and you just say them to the cousins, so you don't say I'm to the person themselves. Like when your auntie come in and she got jokes, and then when she leaves you start dragging her to the rest of the cousins. It's pretty hilarious. Yeah, y'all got jokes, but you ain't gonna say it to her until you cross that cross

that threshold. This is why clasht Yeah, the clap back Thanksgiving her Christmas, you know, community, because you can't really talk back to the theazz that I'm talking trash about you, but man online you can. Yeah, you can drag him online. Yeah. Lastly, we'll end with this so as y'all know, we are a blended, blended black family. What is the one thing you've learned from being part of my family that you was like, Okay, I know now, I'm never gonna mess

this up because I know mine. I'm gonna tell mine and a second okay, day, I feel did I go first in so you can think of you? I want to see the one that popped in my head right now, do it. Y'all's love for aluminum foil is unbelievable. It's like, y'all, I never heard of that vegetable oil, like want to be butter buckets that you're supposed to save to take. You know, that's what we do. We reuse our yogurt, you know, bottles, so you ain't got to use all

that country crop little things. Yeah, that's what you're living with when you take your food our food. Yeah, aluminum foil, it's that's pretty true. I was gonna say, whatever you do, don't overfill your plate because you have to eat everything, and it's and the problem is and then you gotta time it because if you eat it too fast, then they're gonna think, oh, you really like it, let me give you more more yes, And you're like, oh, so you set yourself up. You just set yourself up. It

is deeply offensive to not finish your meal. So you have to like when whatever they serve and just get you one scoop each. Okay, pace yourself right, and and yo, yo out I found your out is the liquor. That's your way out. So if I'm dying, right, but if if if, if somebody goes you wanna beer, then you're like, yeah, yeah, no, let me come with you. So then I'll go with you to go. That's my out. And then how do you out yourself from the drinking? You like, you just

gotta nurse that one. You're nurse that one. But then after a while, somebody's gonna call you. At that point, that's when you go, I'm gonna check on the kids. So you gotta go check on the kids, you know what I'm saying, And just trying to like ham up your your drunkenness, like you're probably not as fat as as he does. Because let me tell you right now, you can't drink with these people. I'm gonna tell you

that right now. Brothers, fellas, look it and just go ahead and g just just cut it, just just cut that, cut that alcohol a little bit. I'll tell you what, White people, if you're showing up at these houses, listen, y'all, y'all, y'all, drinking is very different, y'all. Get y'all like to mix y'all be it's y'all concoctions of the multiple different types of drinks, which is why y'all get so ship faced like. That's not how it happens in our houses. If you

ship faced like that, that's different. Like, especially if you're a guest and you ship faced, it's a problem, you know what I'm saying. So listen, what you drink. What they're drinking. If they drink, that's that's the if if whatever he havn't like whatever that to you're having. If they drinking modelo's you drinking Modelos. If they drinking pacifically, they drink you drinking Ron. If they haven't to keep the shots, you haven't ski the shots. You just do

what they do. Just don't keep up. You don't have to keep up. Just you know, if he's pouring a new shot, you're more than just dump out what you got real quick and just refill it again and just drink it halfway because he's gonna be like what I'm like, Yeah, just dump it real quick. And so so now although they on seventh, you on fourth. You know what I'm saying,

that's my as what I learned. Yeah, so so healthy, so healthy, yes, well, if you follow these simple rules, these nuances, these unspoken things where you just you know, show up at a time that's not too late but not too early. You know what I'm saying, help out, but don't help out because you might be a soul. So yeah, exactly, play a game, be good at it, but not too good, yo saying, know somebody else more than just your significant other. Make sure you got friends

with somebody else there. You know what I'm saying. If this is a friend's party again, if you invite it over and that's not your girlfriend, you look, they might rob you. It's very like if depend on how good you are, especially with black folks, you might get robbed. I'm not gonna lie that. I can't. I can't protect you from that. And if it's even if it's my homie and my cousin just robbed you, I'm not gonna think. I'm gonna say something I've related to this, Nick, I'm

not gonna telling nothing. I'm sorry. Bro. Yeah, you guys, the next party, you gotta show up for the next party. Homie like, ill not to tell you. It's like, hey, your uncle took my watch. I'm like, yeah, now he's crazy. You shouldn't have been sitting over there, a man. How about giving people their heads up before. That's what you don't do. I didn't. I didn't do it. Yeah, my wife didn't give me. It's a long story for another day. Story. Yeah,

this is this is now an hour. Uh So, ladies and gentlemen, once again, the gorgeous, the brilliance, the smash, the patriarch, Dr Mazarigo sa Petti. Thank you. Wow, I'm marry. I should come on here more often as a guest. I'm trying to say, man, I'm having to drag you to the mic. Um. Can you tell everybody where to

follow you on the socials? Yeah, I'm at the dock z P across the socials, so that's th ch E dc ZP the dock z Y. And to be real, I don't really post a lot, but to be honest with you, but when I post, it's significant what I'm saying. It's pretty true. She won't talk a lot, but when she do bars Yeah, I agree. All right, Well, thank on that note. At least you don't know the rest of that hound. No, I don't look there's limits, all right, y'all?

Very good, y'all. This mug was recorded and edited by Me Propaganda right here in East Low Spoil Heights, Los Angeles. Y'all can follow me at prop hip Hop on all the socials. You can follow the Hood Politics pod itself at pub Politics Pod, where we'll be trying to make takes on stuff that aren't really big enough for a whole episode, but definitely needs a little bit of clarity. This mug was scored, edited, mixed, and mastered by the one and only Headlights. Y'all go follow my dog, matt

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