¶ Sepia Remedy and Aggravations
Welcome back to homeopathy at home with Melissa . Hey , Melissa .
Hey Brie , I am really excited to talk about sepia today . It's such a big remedy .
And it's so one that I feel like we commonly see in practice with clients , but also in classes because , there are a lot of women , so , naturally , and also because of how many women my generation , I don't know about yours too , but on birth control , since we were like middle schoolers .
So we'll get into all that , yeah , but Materia Medica Monday , we're going to do sepia .
Yeah , sepia is such a big remedy . You know , if you go to your Materia Medica and you open up sepia , it's pages long and it really is kind of overwhelming how big sepia is .
So what I want to do with this is just like we always do with the Materia Medica Monday give you the keynotes , but also let's talk a little bit about it , because it's such a big remedy for women . Um , that's used so often and , um , most women know sepia , right , they're .
They're like oh yeah , you know , that was the first remedy I ever tried , right , it was my first remedy , the first remedy I ever tried . Right , it was my first remedy . The first remedy I was ever on was sepia , and I do suggest starting low and slow .
So if you heard my podcast from the summer of 2020 , that's been a long time ago I did used to do sepia Sunday . I used to do sepia 200 once per week . I actually in that podcast said once or twice per week and there's nothing wrong with that . So if you're doing that now or you've done that before , there's no danger .
That's the beauty of homeopathy there's nothing dangerous , there's nothing terrible . You didn't mess anything up . But the reason I stopped doing that and now I'm doing . Usually I'll start with 6C once or maybe twice per day .
The reason I changed is because I started to see women aggravating on 200C in different ways , and so we've got a whole podcast on aggravations versus proving . So if you don't know what I'm talking about , please go listen to that .
So I don't like to cause aggravations and of course it's not me that's causing it but when I suggest a high potency remedy and then you have an aggravation , I feel bad . I don't want you to do that . I don't want to be aggravated .
Can I piggyback on that ? Because , from like a different perspective too , I did the 200 . I did aggravate some . Let's say that I was using it once per week or twice per week . It was working great and it really just became apparent that it was time to back off . And it really just became apparent that it was time to back off and I didn't in time .
Mine were mental symptoms . But what I will say and this is why I personally am comfortable with aggravations , because I like to call them accelerations I stopped it and I was 100% better Like I had .
I didn't have to take it again or um , or didn't have any of those recurring symptoms for a long time where I think sometimes um , to avoid any aggravating , it is a little bit slower , a little bit longer of a process , more comfortable , more gentle . So you know , most people prefer that . I prefer that for clients .
Um , personally , I didn't love when I experienced it , but it was short , maybe a week or two , and then I was totally fine .
So you are like that you are like that , like with with um Bella Donna . You're like , yeah , just do it . And you threw , you know , throw me into the high fever , get it over with and you're done . And so , you know , my husband's like that with being nauseous or vomiting . He's like , oh , I'd rather just do it , get it over with .
I'm like , nope , I'd rather , I'd rather feel bad for three days . Then .
So I had this a friend of mine use Nux Vomica . She was . She was vomiting , used Nux Vvomica and it almost like she purged a bunch of times following that and then was fine , but she was . I mean , I think it would traumatize her for real . She was like I never want to use Exvomica again and I literally am like great , got it out of me .
Moving on from there , and I'm the same , like when you're , when we're talking about sepia and aggravating . I also aggravated on sepia 200 and um no , I would always rather go slow and not have the aggravation . It's so funny . So it's personality . And and and that's the beauty of homeopathy too is the aggravations aren't dangerous .
You can stop it if you don't like it , and that's really what I want to say .
You don't have to . It didn't ? I wasn't in a bad place , it didn't cause me to . I mean , it wasn't like I was depressed or in a really bad mental state and I knew what was happening . I knew , oh , I just need to take less of this , and so I did . But you could even have antidote it if I wanted . I just didn't right so .
But you don't have to be afraid of it . I coming out the other side , it works well , and so just don't worry . Even if you do aggravate , just adjust exactly .
Yeah , that's right , so you have less of a chance of aggravating on a 6c . So if you're like me , then , um , then , then you know , start with a 6C , and so let's talk about when what's . I know , you know this and a lot of people know this , so let's just get this right on out of the out of the way .
What's the number one reason , or the you know the the thing that if you've ever done this in your life , then you're probably going to need sepia , synthetic birth control . Yes , yep .
Yeah . You don't think that almost anyone . If you've ever done that and have hormone or even mental symptoms that maybe you don't know are hormonal .
Right .
Start with sepia .
Man , so Dr Murphy taught me about what birth control does .
It's awful .
You know , that's probably what we should have . What we should have been ready to talk about is birth control and what it does and how awful it is . Did we talk about that ? And maybe the acne podcast at all
¶ Hormonal Effects on Relationships
?
I don't remember I feel like we have touched on birth control all over , but here's the thing too , with birth control now there are so many types that the terminology becomes different one that's just progesterone , one that's both , one that's copper that the terminology chain has changed .
The options have grown , um , and so they , some of them , feel less invasive or less disruptive to your body . Um , but in reality , um , all of those options are introducing synthetic hormones into your body , often at a young age , because you're trying , I mean , for a painful period .
I just , I even think birth control I mean , this is just from what I have experienced , so this is not true data that I'm sharing but 50-50 in my experience has been for painful periods and preventing pregnancy .
Like , I almost see it more just to avoid getting a period or having painful periods or acne at a very young age , before people are even concerned about pregnancy . So , anyway , got on my little rant . So birth control , yeah .
Don't do it . You know . It's also like you said earlier . It affects women mentally , even on into the future . So there is a correlation between the divorce rate , the higher divorce rate and the introduction and the higher use of birth control pills . And Dr Murphy talked about how well , what happens and this is these are symptoms of sepia .
What happens is the woman is especially after birth , so after she gives birth to her first child , and this is , these are sepia things , this is not birth control thing , but when you've been on birth control , this is what usually happens , and then sepia is the great remedy .
After she gives birth , after she gives birth to her first child , then she suddenly is like to her husband , repulsed Don't touch me , don't talk to me , you can say nothing , right ? You can do nothing , right ? I don't like you , I don't like your look , I don't like the way you smell , I don't like the way you're . I mean all these little you know what ?
What would ? We would be called nitpicking or nagging things , right , because now we're so mentally turned off by him and everything he does where that wasn't the case before . But listen , it's , it's not him . Your hormones change and you know , and it's also . Don't want to . Please don't hear me say it's all your fault . And you ?
You know your hormones changed something , shifted , they were artificially messed with with the , with the birth control , then you had a natural process of getting pregnant and that . Then your hormones do all these things . And then , after birth , your hormones do all these things and then regulate and it's and then it's very disruptive .
And that's not even just sexually speaking , that is even being around him . So it may result in a really low libido or literal no libido at all , um , or even um .
I've had clients and even my own experiences with like your body does not respond to arousal anymore , like , even if mentally , but your , your body physically , is not responding , um , but either way , not just sexually but just emotionally , very repulsed and disgusted specifically by the husband and um the rage toward kids or husband , and that one .
I don't know if you I feel like you had to have heard this from people , if I've heard it so much that there I can tell when they're trying to share this that they're very ashamed , like don't want to share that , and say how angry they be . They feel internally because there are not outside factors that should make them feel that angry , right .
And so so these women come and well , first of all , even backing up a little bit more . A lot of them , when I ask about birth control , they say yes , um , and they quickly feel like they have to say why .
Because there is this , there's this element of shame that comes with it and and , ladies , I don't want you to , I just , you don't need to feel that , you just don't . We , we were doing what we thought was right back then . We didn't know , you know the consequences . And here we are . You're doing better , right , yeah , but then , yeah .
So then when we start talking about the relationship , well , when somebody tells me how low their libido is , low or no then I want to know how's your relationship with your husband , right ? Sometimes they say it's great , he's great , I love him , he's amazing . Well , I guess , either way , it's still hormonal .
But if we , if we can take the relationship piece out , you know you've got a good relationship , but there's still no libido . There's just a different way to look at it .
Whereas if they're , if their relationship is really bad , then that has the mental , emotional piece too , and it may be because you're so turned off by him and everything he does , and that may just be hormonal . It also might be that he's a terrible person . I mean , you know , that could happen .
¶ Surmounting Postpartum Emotional Challenges
So I think the obvious yeah , you can't use homie , I can't take homie off to fix that yeah , right . But it's very obvious when you have and that was some of our situation I have an amazing husband , super helpful , really respectful of me , even postpartum , and I remember thinking I can't stand being near him and knowing that is irrational .
He's I mean just being there or hearing him . It's just there was some smell . It wasn't like his cologne , but there was like after he'd work out , which in a normal me smells fantastic . Yeah , yeah . So , um , yeah , I've experienced that and I think I told you it was really obvious , sepia , well , I didn't see .
You told me , even though I knew it in my mind , my kids would do something and I would be angry . I was just so I felt I should say like very angry and also , at the same time , knowing that there's nothing happened here . They're not doing anything extra bad or loud or crazy . So there are some really obvious indicators .
But , um , what other mental emotionals come to mind for you ?
So I'll you know , like I said , I ? Um CPO was my first remedy . I ? Um sepia was my first remedy , um . I was not married back then when I you know , when she um decided on sepia for me but I had all of the rage that you can imagine . But even you know intimate well , as a teenager I had the rage .
So I mean even before you know , giving birth the first time , um , but I ?
I was put on birth control pills early on , early in teenage years , or like your periods , or acne , or what was it for Pregnancy ?
Birth control .
That's right Okay .
Um , and so you know I mean , but listen , that was what you did back then . I mean you , you know , my mom finds out what I'm doing and she's like , oh , let's go .
That's so really common . I mean , I just was talking to a mom who knew her daughter's 16 and she's like I'm taking her to the doctor soon getting her on birth control just to prevent anything . Yeah .
That's hard , that's so hard . I just , I mean , I'm just thinking about me as a mom of a daughter . I mean , yeah , I , I don't know , I don't know what , how I would , because I know all the terrible things of birth control and then I know the consequences of sex outside of marriage and I'm just like that is the hardest of moms .
My heart goes out to you If you have no judgment right now , none at all , I cannot . I mean , I mean I was , I was that one , and so you know , there I was and my mom's like Ooh , nope , no , we're not going to have any babies in high school . So we go and I get on birth control and then I had all the rage .
So you asked about mental , emotional , and it was Well , I don't have to just tell about me , but CP in general has the , the .
I can have the , the um irritation , like you said , with the children , so that you feel disconnected um to your family , or you feel indifferent that's the word I'm looking for so that indifference to your family , like I love them , but I just really don't care , you know .
Yeah , I felt that a lot too . Now that you're saying that , I remember telling a friend that I don't enjoy it . I felt so out , almost like I'm not present mentally , right , didn't have any joy , I wasn't depressed , I just felt zero emotion about being around my kids , like I used to find joy in that and love this time .
Yeah , so also as the kids get older , I remember I don't know it was you in some class talking about sepia feeling like that weighed down , that weight mentally , um , like it's from the from above , though , right , like it weighs you down from above .
Yeah , Is that ? Yeah , I don't have that one memorized . Is that the one of sepia ? So sepia has a pushing down . So that can be like you said , with the mental , emotional , you feel like you're like a cloud maybe or you're being pushed down . But that can also be the bladder , the . So CP has been before incontinence or um prolapse .
Yeah , so if you feel bearing down weight down here , you know then not pulling down . So there's another remedy that feels where you feel pulled down but CP is pushed down , yeah , good .
Yeah , I love that how there's the link for both physical and mental picture .
Yeah .
Um is it it's ? It does have postpartum depression .
Oh yeah , man , I had postpartum depression so bad , and you didn't have sepia then no , and you didn't have sepia then no , no , oh , it was terrible . But I even got super depressed during the pregnancy and I think it was just during the first trimester , maybe I don't remember , but then postpartum was really bad .
Postpartum depression , yes and no , I didn't start sep't , start CP until he was what , like three . So yeah , I didn't no-transcript , I was on Lexapro . I feel like I was on Lexapro before giving birth . I don't remember , but you know I did . I did that little Lexapro stint for a little . No , I what that was .
Because I remember the homeopath saying oh , don't stop your Lexapro , you know we're going to wean off of this later . And I was like I'm done with that and I just stopped . And I was like I'm done with that and I just stopped taking it . You shouldn't do that .
No , I don't . I get people always . Yeah , that's funny , but okay . So Lexo reminds me , though it can also be for anxiety . Oh yeah , so that anxiety was part of depression . And yeah , sorry , I'm like peak . I'm looking at my materi medica too to confirm as I'm thinking of things .
But cp is worse for consolation as opposed to pulsatilla that likes that right yeah I don't want your business , I don't want you to do that don't touch me , don't look at me , don't try to , don't try to tell me that you , that you want to make me feel better . I need you just to get away . Also , I'm going to go and be by myself if I'm going to .
Well , this was the sepia state . Right , I'm not in that state anymore . I just I'm remembering , I'm reminiscing of the sepia days . Um , I would , I would absolutely have to go by myself to cry , like don't , because I didn't want any consolation . That and I'm trying to remember um , that really made me feel worse .
It made me feel small or stupid , like why can't I control my own feelings ? You know why can't ? But that was so ridiculous If you think about it , like what's wrong with being mad or angry or crying , you know ? But I felt like I had to be perfect , so I couldn't do those things , so I had to go alone .
I didn't want your consolation and that pressure to like you're doing so much for your family , there's all this stuff to get done , like making yourself feel that way , but then also that feels like a weight because there's never , you're never getting it all done .
That's exactly what I was going to go to next , so you just bridged it . The CPO woman she ruminates in and she thinks about how her husband never helps , he doesn't do enough . He gets to go to work all day while I'm stuck at home . Cpo likes the career .
They know this is interesting in that sepia state because I always wanted to stay home . But I , as you're saying these words , I remember thinking that exact thing , like Kyle going to work , and I'm like this is so unfair . He gets , gets to go .
Well , I'm sitting here , I want to do what I'm doing , but I am mad about it that I'm sitting here doing this and that is out of character for me . So could it be a woman like that in her natural state but angry now ?
or I was where .
That's not my natural state , but I'm feeling that way .
Absolutely . Yeah , you know , another side to that is just like the , all this indifference with the children . I never had that . I wanted my kids around me with me , hugging , loving , kissing , like what are we doing today ? What are we going to like ? Be close to me , I want to see everything you do . I want to talk to you all the time .
I never felt indifferent towards my children it was only him . And so the you know she , she also feels like she never gets a break . She just she never gets a break . She has to do everything .
All the responsibility falls on her shoulders and if somebody does come and try to do something to help her , they can't do it right , so she might as well do it herself . She's convinced that she hates her husband and would be better off without him during PMS , but then , after the cycle ends , she's okay .
But listen , here's the other part of it that it says this in the Materia Medica , and I remember feeling this . I remember in the moment PMS was terrible for me , absolutely terrible , and PMS shouldn't be so bad . But birth control definitely makes it worse .
So I remember being in the PMS state and really being nasty , just ugly words and actions and in my mind thinking I do not want to be this way , I don't want to do this , I don't want to say these things that I say why am I ?
And then , after it's over , like I'm so sorry , I'm really sorry that I acted that way and I didn't want to and I couldn't stop it .
It's like that cloud picture again , that your , your perspective is clouded but you like can't stop it , and then the cloud kind of lifts after you're through that hormonal phase . Um , okay , so lots of mentals .
I also feel like , hormonally speaking , because it's such a big hormone remedy , this one I see for headaches you're probably getting to all of them , but hormonal headaches .
Yep , In my 30s I started getting the monthly migraine , that hormonal headache . I didn't have them . I never had a single headache before then and yeah , so that's what sepia 200 weekly uprooted first for me . I stopped getting those headaches and man was that good .
So , yeah , those monthly migraines or monthly , those hormonal headaches , sepia , I also would use sepia as needed . So I would do a third , a 60 or a 30 during the headache while I was doing my 200 once a week or whatever you know . However , I was doing that .
Okay , um , what else do you have ? I don't want to jump ahead on your list .
That's all right , I'm just I'm not even going in order , I'm just looking at what I
¶ Understanding the Sepia Remedy Profile
see . Um , sepia loves to dance , loves music and loves to dance . And so you know , would um , that's a question .
You know that we can , we can ask people when we're trying to help them and , um , and sometimes women just just um volunteer that information that they just love to dance , that they've did that they will feel better if they go outside and dance or go in , whatever you know , just dance . So think about exercise .
So if you're not a dancer type person , you don't like to dance .
If you like to exercise , that's another one that movement . So sepia really feels better for exercise .
Yeah , and I thought of the other kind of to go along with the hormonal headaches insomnia around some cyclically , whether that's a PMS week or during your period , that can be a big one , or what's it called menopause yeah , absolutely your hot flashes yep , oh yeah has so much everything you think of related to hormones .
Yeah , yeah , has it somewhere and I think I had every single symptom that there was , and even um , skin stuff , right , like skin , skin tags , the dark spots on your skin , all of those things also linked now I mean we know some of these things to hormones yep cd covers those um so .
Sepia also has a big liver remedy . We can't forget that .
Yeah .
It can have constipation , yeah .
So that could be used acutely even in males . This isn't just a female remedy .
I think we use it way more often in females but it can definitely be used in males , often in females , but it can definitely be used in males . Um , and the male picture , the male , the male person who needs sepia , is the mom and the relationship .
Um , and sometimes , um , these can be men who lost financial stability and are home with the children while the mom works , um , or maybe it's always been that way and then there was something else about the man , so it's a more feminine remedy , but it can be for the feminine type .
You know the feminine man , who it , and especially if that's a hormone imbalance , you know , if he's got really low testosterone and maybe his voice is not , as you know , deep or whatever . And so we're not it's not like we're we're taking giving sepia to men just so they'll have a deep voice . It has to do with the hormone balance .
But , yeah , it can be used for men and I have used it for men when it fits . Um , I have another one .
Yeah , so the husband , okay , let me just say this Um , she expects her husband to see how hard she's working and what needs to be done and just jump in and do it , and she doesn't understand why he won't just jump in and help , just do what he can do , but he might not jump in because he sees she's absolutely capable , she gets everything done .
He might even feel like he's not needed , and that's big , for men , um , often need to be needed . I mean , there are women that need to be needed too but but , um , you know , if you're totally capable , you can do everything yourself . And and you don't need . It looks that way , right , he doesn't know what you're thinking .
Here's the thing with sepia is that we want you to know what we're thinking . I don't want to have to tell you , right , I want you just to know . Like , can't you see I'm running around here , I'm busy .
Yeah , well , communicate . So a lot of the feelings of sepia are common feelings for any woman to experience at some point , I think , where the the sepia picture where you need some assistance is just like anything else , where you're stuck there , where you're feeling this but you're not communicating that , or you're letting it become anger and resentment .
And , of course , sometimes they can't read our minds , so you have to say that out loud , you know , but in sepia mode I'm like I'm not telling him , I'm going to . He should just know I'm going to be mad , I'm sick and tired of this , but I don't want to do anything to help the situation . I think that's like .
When I see that picture in myself , I feel stuck in that mentality . What about , though , women who've never had a baby , never been on birth control ? There can still be symptoms that would point to sepia .
Absolutely . So this can be used and I'm trying to find my note that I just saw about that this can be used in women who don't have children , so it could be like a teacher or a childcare worker . So this she might , and it doesn't have to be , but she might still have the that caregiver role even if she doesn't have children or she might not .
So this might be , um right , you might not have any children , you might not have a husband , but if you have a hormone imbalance and or have ever been on birth control and you have these symptoms , you can still use it .
So that could be weird periods , whether they're super painful or really heavy .
Oh yeah , Irregular . Yes , I will use sepia when a woman has menorrhagia , so ongoing , and or heavy bleeding . So you know , a 14 day or four week , six week period . Sepia can very gently and um and easily , Um , what I want to say like , yeah , I guess gentle is the is the right word , but very gently , stop . That .
It's not like an abrupt , you know , hard stop , it can be , it can be gentle .
Well , and I want to . I do want to make sure I clarify earlier , like I was okay with that taking CPNA 200 and saying it could work slower using it , less or lower potency . I don't think that that's been the case when using it , how you were saying 60 once or twice a day . You're still getting very consistent , more consistent stimulation , lower potency .
I haven't . I don't feel like it has been slower , not that homeopathy is fast , but I didn't . I don't want it to sound like oh , now it's going to take a year when it's going to take it a month .
I think I made .
It might've made it sound like that I actually I haven't seen that I've been doing , using sepia like that and seeing it work very well , very well and not aggravating . So , this one . I love it . I love doing it and then I feel like more comfortable . There's somewhere to go . There's a 30 C to move to if we can or need to , or a 200 if you need that .
Yeah , but um really good point .
So don't , don't try , don't sit here and hear us and say , ooh , I don't , I want to , I want to rush it , so I'm going to use 200 . That's not how it works anyway . Yeah , Good point . Um , yeah , so 6C is what I was on , you know , 20 plus years ago . That was my first remedy and so now I'm not on anything regularly . So I don't take remedies .
You know , every single day I take remedies as needed , and when so I'm at the point of maybe once or twice per year I get into a sepia kind of feeling state , takes me , because it's been so long it takes me a little while to recognize it , and then I'm like , oh , I need a dose of sepia .
I'll take one dose of sepia 6C and then I'm good because I think it's . I mean , if sepia is a constitutional remedy , I mean that's just like that is a really big remedy , for that has served me well over 20 something years and you know , going into menopause , hot flashes , it was the remedy . Yeah , and so now again , for me now it's just mental .
You know , if I get into a sepia mental state I can just take a dose . So you might do that . You know you might need sepia 6C once or twice every day for a while , but then it might be a remedy that you revisit throughout the rest of your life , if it's a good remedy and that can be true for any remedy- Yep , so truly when we say sepiap is huge .
I think we probably touched the tip of the iceberg . Yeah , there are eight or more pages in the in robin murphy's materia medica look at this um , no hand holding or snuggling .
Sorry to kind of go backwards , but I just saw this Um can let's see good intellectual communicators but not good emotional communicators ?
Well , yeah , that is kind of what we just said , huh .
Oh , and this one yeah , this says they get more pleasure out of their children , and we'll hug them , you know , than their husband . One yeah , this says they get more pleasure out of their children and will hug them , you know , than their husband . So , yeah , Go ahead .
Painful periods which we already touched on , but just confirming that's definitely in there and there is that oversensitivity to noise too with sepia .
Yeah , not the only one that's like that if you've listened to other podcasts , but that is a good one . The weak bladder prolapse , incontinence are really big . I have seen it work really really well for that of women of all ages .
Yep , they're really independent . They don't ask for help really independent .
They don't ask for help . Tired , drag and sag . Drag and sag what a way to describe myself . That sounds nice Desires , chocolate , sweets , wine , vinegar acids and pickles , the only thing when I was .
chocolate and sweets .
Yeah , I do love chocolate . Better exercise .
Here's another good one . She doesn't want any intimacy , right , holding hands , snuggling , kissing , because she fears that then he'll want more . So she feels like that's all he ever wants from her . You know she doesn't need it , they don't so but if she , yeah , that's right .
So if she gets too close or just snuggles , it can't just be a snuggle , it has to be more . And that , oh , here's what I wanted to say earlier is especially when we were talking about communication . Say earlier is especially when we're talking about communication .
So homeopathy can help your mental state so that you can communicate the best way that you know how . But if you don't know how to communicate , you need help in another way . So you know , whether that be a counselor or a friend or some kind of a class or whatever you know .
Learn that be a counselor or a friend or a , some kind of a class or a , whatever you know . Learn , we have to learn how to communicate well , and that might be a oh Bree . You should be talking about this . You're good at this .
What is there a resource that you have to share with women who aren't good communicators with , especially maybe with their husband ?
I mean a specific resource . Does you have one in mind , a specific one ? or no , I just um number one , I do think , counseling of some sort , whether that be a clinical counselor , but our .
We have really great mentors who have modeled it in front of us and then , um , I don't like to say forced , because we willingly participate , but I mean we've had really awkward , weird , uncomfortable conversations in front of these mentors of ours , because we have been very committed to , for the sake of our marriage , I want to do this , and the more you do it
, the less weird it is , the less weird it is . So I mean there were times we would literally have like sentences that we would practice , especially if he would practice sharing three emotions a day , it could be anything . So it sounds really toddler like , but for somebody who was not comfortable doing that , that became easy for him .
It really is practice and being vulnerable . You just have to be willing to be weird at first and then it yeah , that's true
¶ Improving Relationships Through Communication
.
You know , what I learned from somebody recently is start , stop and continue , and I know you and Kyle do that .
That's a good one . You tell about that one .
Yeah , Just make a um , you know , make a little list start , stop and continue and do that with each other . I think you said maybe you and Kyle used to do that , maybe on date night , once every a couple of times a year or something , I don't know .
But , um , where you have , you write down what you want your husband to start , what you want him to stop and what you want him to continue to do . So you get , um , you know that continue is encouragement , that hey , you are doing these things , good and right , and I like for you to do these things , I want you to keep going .
Start and stop was a little bit hard for me , Just because you know stop is like I didn't want to . I mean , you have to say the hard things . You know I want you to stop whatever it is , and then start , basically , was just opposite of stop . So what do you have advice on ?
Yeah , this is good , because look at us turning this into a little marriage counseling session . Yeah , right , and really you can use this for a lot . I mean , I think you guys even did it with your kids your older kids .
Yeah , yeah , we did , I mean I love that .
I never had thought to do that with our kids . I want to do that someday . Mean , I love that I never had thought to do that with our kids , I want to do that someday . But for maybe some help too , if you're just easing into it sometimes start would be like I would like you to start taking a night of the week to go do something for yourself .
Well , that's a really nice thing to say to them . You know , like I mean and of course we were probably thinking of 10 other things that we'd like them to start in your mind also , but depending on where you're at , maybe he gets something out of that , that and whatever .
One of the things um Kyle asked me once to stop doing was commenting on my body in front of our sons .
So it wasn't even like a flaw , but he and he nicely was like this is something we talked about before we even had kids that you didn't love , that your mom did a lot , and I don't I know you don't want to be saying that in front of our boys a lot , so it just the way you word it like him encouraging me to be the kind of mom and woman I want to
be , not like I want this from you or you're bothering me when you do this . So good and then yeah , continue is more of the encouragement , like a yeah , I found my little list , so this is um .
I did grace cash , paul , and so organized . I love , I love doing stuff like that .
We also made a rule we could only do one at a time . Did you do more than one ?
Yeah , sarah told us to do like , list it out , and we didn't talk , you know . But so , just like as a quick example for Grace , I had start using your creative flair more . Yeah , yeah , right . So that wasn't something for me to make me feel better , it was something I wanted her to to strengthen her . Yeah , stop worrying about your health .
Again , that's something to help her be better , like in , to be stronger , and not something for me to make me feel better . It wasn't about me and , of course , this is with my children . So that's a little we're we're naturally encouraging to our children , right ? So we're starting with the husband , um , and then continue , um , continue loving Jesus .
Let me see what I said for Paul Um , start .
Um start . I know we're like um , oh , okay .
Well , how about start spending quality time um with me and the kids ? So , just , or more , maybe start spending more quality time with us , so that we're all together . Right Again , it wasn't just what . What can you do to make me feel good ?
You know some of these are truly , if you prefer , quality time and he doesn't like I mean , there are things . Kyle has asked that for me before because he loves when I sit with him while he might watch a show I don't care about , I'm not going to want to do that , but if he asks me I'm happy . Okay , sure , I can do that sometimes .
That's right . That's right . I love it so , like the five love languages . So if yours is gifts and his is touch and you know , then we might have to say that , like you , start giving me- .
Like the quality time matters to you and the kids in a different way , that's right so it's not always insulting , but it's sometimes hard to hear yeah , that's right , um and um , continue working hard for us , so anyway , yeah that was so much .
I love those . So we did do , though , the rule on especially if we did like , on a date night we could only say one thing and for each category , but we did it maybe once a month , every few months . We would think of it so more frequently .
Yeah .
And sometimes like for Grace's to not worry about her health so much . Sometimes those are things like okay , I can practically help you , and then also maybe she needs a remedy , right , like , how are we going to help them ? Do that , or whatever .
Exactly .
Wow , just got some bonus .
So fun , so fun . I mean it's important you know to grow yourself and um , you know , and get the support and the help that you need outside of homeopathy . Homeopathy is not the miracle , um may the miracle worker or the way maker , jesus is .
So so anyway , that was fun talking about sepia and getting into some , um practical tips , and I hope you all enjoyed this . Look forward to seeing you next time .