Episode 1 - Introductions & The Beginning

And um I thought it would be awesome to come together with someone who I love and respect dearly, Miss Esha Astar, and um talk about all of the things that I'm sure many of you are going through, have gone through, or will go through uh during your you know spiritual awakening journey, and um just this be a format and forum to kind of discuss those things um openly and um you know hopefully help some people through the process.

So welcome, Esha. I really appreciate um one you as a as a human being, as a friend, as a gosh, a shaman, um, all of the things that you've been for me. Um I I I just I could I would not be in the position that I'm in now without you, and I'm I'm I'm grateful.

Right, it's like it smacks you up in the face, and um, so it's it's this is really, really great timing um for something like this to be created to help the masses because so many people are looking for some guidance and um the woo-woo world, as so many people call it, uh it kind of feels a little woo-woo.

And even though I've been on this journey for a long time, I still feel in every moment that I'm still new to it because there's always so many aspects um of the mysterious and the unknown that I I keep bumping into, which makes it feel as if I'm arriving for the very first time.

Um, because you know, probably three years, two years before that, if uh you would have told me that I would be hugging a tree in North Carolina talking to a shaman, um, I would have told you that you were insane. And um in fact, it's been that it's been that kind of like acceptance and openness of the woo-woo um that has completely changed my life. So um I'm grateful.

We're not outside of nature, we're part of nature, and so giving ourselves permission to actually connect with even a tree, right? There's nothing strange about that. I think the strange part is that we don't do that enough.

But you know, I think that you know what I what I want this podcast to be, I've all also said it, you know, about it being kind of um um something that people can lean on or go to for those questions or the things that you know they might seem a little bit unorthodox, is they're brand new to it, they're they're ripping that band-aid off, the the veil's been lifted, that bell's been rung, and they're like, holy shit, what do I do now? Right.

And um, you know, I remember when it happened for me, I would go home and I would just, I was in like sponge mode. Any and every piece of information that I could possibly look up and download, and I just I wanted it all. And um, because there really isn't, um, at least I couldn't find at the time, a guidebook or something, somebody that was that held their hand out that says, I can be with you all the time and make sure that you stay on the right path and look at the right things.

And you know, um, you know, you there's there's a whole lot of rabbit holes you can go down that might not not necess that might not necessarily be the rabbit hole that you should go down right now. You know, you probably will want to go down that rabbit hole at some point in time, but like in the first month, year, two years of your awakening, it might not be the right time to do that.

But in the very first initial phases of your awakening, that's the last thing that you probably want to do with your support circle that you've has that's that you've leaned on for you know decades. Um, and um I think that there's probably a tactical way where you can start to start to uh integrate your awakening process and also not you know astracize yourself from the people that kind of are your security blanket at the time.

Don't make any sudden life change, give it some time, see how things are unfolding within yourself first. And those individuals that have been your support system, it's also going to be new for them to see you in this new space. So you have to give them time to catch up to you a little bit, right? To give them an opportunity to understand and for you to open up to them and to become even more vulnerable. Here's what I'm going through. They may or may not understand it, and that's okay.

Your job is to continue to allow yourself to expand without contracting your energy because those around you don't understand what you're experiencing. But it's also not an opportunity to just ditch everything and create massive life changes. Those massive life changes will happen naturally, actually, because what's happening as your vibration level changes, uh, the universe will automatically begin to place things in alignment for you.

And so you will find eventually that everything will change on its own accord.

As as I'm as I'm seeking information, the ability to just not take everything just fully in and also maybe maybe maybe try to work through a little bit of these things because in the beginning, it's such a it's such an awesome feeling to feel this like there is something different out there and this I knew it. I knew it. I know that there's something else. And like you just want to like, you want to accept everything as it gets thrown at you as like the new way.

Um, and you know, it's so it's it's good to have that. So I thought it would be really cool that this, you know, when I when I when I when I kind of pitched this podcast idea to you, um you know, I will tell people from day one, you know, I I don't feel super qualified on this topic because I'm still I'm still new on it myself. And and probably the most um person that I have in my life that I think has the most comprehensive experience and understanding of all of this stuff is you.

So I wanted to get with you and said, hey, how do we come up with this? And I think what it is, is like it's gonna be this perspective from just a regular dude and a shop and just As a regular person too. Yeah, yeah, right, right. And and and just say, hey, this is this is this is not um, and hopefully let people know that you know their experiences are probably not unique, you know, and that we're all we're all a lot of us are waking up.

Um, I think that, you know, I remember when I first met you over two and a half, was it been, golly, it's been almost what's been over two years now, that um you met you told me then, you're like, this is happening rapidly. There's a lot of people that are starting to wake up, and um, you're gonna see a lot more of this. And it's true.

And what has happened since that day is as you know, as you talked about, as your vibration raises and you start omitting, you know, different frequencies out there, you're gonna attract people that are gonna want to come up and have a conversation with you about this. Um, and that has happened, and um, based upon those conversations over the last year and a half to two years, that's kind of how this podcast, and eventually I'm gonna I'm gonna be putting a putting a book together as well.

Um, also on the same theme here. Um, that's how this kind of was born because um I want there to be a place where I can send people that I'm having conversations with about here's all of the other things too that you might consider as well. So, and we and you talk pretty much every week anyway. So um I thought, hey, let's get together and and and and you know put a podcast together and that way we can there can be more people benefit from our discussions.

Each and every one of us are going through some sort of energy activation, energy release, or energy anything. Um, and but what I love about this, and I think this is what I told you, is is that you are just you are an ordinary person, right?

And so many people out there, the masses are ordinary people, and how they can hear this kind of information from another ordinary person, not someone that they feel is nothing against those people that are already out there uh who have the big names, right? Um, but I think normal, ordinary people need to hear from other ordinary people so it feels ordinary to them, right?

Because sometimes this process can feel so extraordinary, and those individuals might be afraid to even have a conversation um about what they're going through to their friends and family because they're afraid that they're going to be judged.

I'm helping people to transform, I'm facilitating that the the the old energy that they have into the new energy and helping them make sense of what that is. Because we also live in this sort of world where things are, you know, um is is rooted in in titles and and things of that nature. And I think that takes away from the person because are you really seeing the person or are you seeing the title?

So the final the final product that we're able to come out with uh is actually you know is as most functional as possible. So um let's see. I think you know the the smartest and maybe the most logical steps to take now um would maybe be just do like kind of a um a brief introduction. I want I want to get into a um an episode that's pretty much completely about about you and about your past and about your awakening and all of that.

But I think that that's probably that's probably a entire episode worth discussing. So I think on this introductory episode, if you don't mind, I think it would be smart for us to kind of talk about how we met our initial work together and um and then kind of maybe wrap it up. So I'm thinking, you know, what where I'm at with um with this whole journey is it's it's been a little over two, so almost two and a half years with me.

Um I think that there has been, you know, it probably started happening a little bit before that, but like when the actual kind of like torque was off, everything started flowing, like let's go. It was when I first met you and in the in the session that we had um about two and a half years ago. Um, so that I think I'm sure that it all starts different for everybody, but I was at a place um where I was um very deeply involved uh in running a business.

Um and for probably two years working close to 60 to 80 hours, just really putting everything that I had um into um you know growing something. Um and I I noticed that at some point in time um I was mentally, physically, and like emotionally just drained. I was completely, I was completely burnt out is a good term, but I was just I woke up one day and I was just like like this is there's got to be more to life than this, you know? That type that type of thing.

Um and you know, um for a while I I I jumped around from church to church to church trying to find the the church that seemed to fill that void, right? Um, and um that I I could I couldn't check the box doing it that way. And then um I saw a post on Facebook from a guy that I'll forever be in debt to. Um I've not talked to him in years.

I don't even know if he's still on you know social media, but um he was a friend, uh, an acquaintance of mine that um I had had worked with before through an organization called OUR, which is Operation Underground Air Road. His name's Dave Lopez. He's a former Navy SEAL, super like you know, like just the testosterone door kicking Navy SEAL, like you know, like that. Um, and I saw that he had gone to this wellness center in North Carolina, and I was like, what the hell is a wellness center?

So I so like he had he had linked it um in his Facebook post. So I looked it up and saw the website and had a chance to kind of get an idea um um and see it. I think there was a video of Bill Wilder who is amazing. We're gonna have him on the podcast at some point in time. Um, and I I read kind of what this was about, and then I think it was like it was like click here for like a free analysis or something like that. I can't I can't remember exactly what it is, but basically I did.

Um, and within you know 24 hours, I was having a Zoom call or a Facebook call, a FaceTime call with Bill Wilder, and he was putting me through his um you know proprietary kind of like assessment, his analysis, which coming from a very logical, um, uh very kind of like you know, black and white thinking background, it's what what I felt comfortable in, it was really what got the hook in me, honestly.

If if I think at that point in time in the discussion, if he'd have been like, okay, what we're gonna do is we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna do all this work with the hot hot a hot tub and a cold cold plunge, then we're gonna have you work with a shaman, like I probably would have been like, whoa, dude. I don't know that this is what I want to do, right?

But his initial his initial discussion with me talked about how we all have these different archetypes inside of us, and about how um each one of them to be fully fulfilled in life needs to be fed. And if one of them is not being fed enough, it starts to it starts to be lacking and you feel the imbalance. And everything that he was saying, everything that he was saying, and I I'm sure I didn't do that methodology anywhere close to justice, so I'll let him explain it at some point in time.

But the point was is that I I try everything he was saying resonated with me. I was like, yes, I'm I'm I'm something's off balance here with my life, you know. I know what I'm capable of, and I'm I'm not for some reason I'm not I've not got it figured out just yet.

And um, and you know, the other thing too that I'll add to just a little bit, a little bit more of the precursors to this, I would find myself um having conversations with my wife or my kids, and I would I would be there physically, but I would not be there mentally. You know, um a lot of people that might be watching this podcast might know me from business or you know, other things like that.

And you know, for a for and I still am driven and I still have goals, and I still, but at the time, the only thing in my mind was I have to kill myself to compile as much wealth as possible because that's what success looks like. And everyone's telling me that once you get there, like that's that's it, right? Once you get there, like you're at the top of the mountain, like you should like there's nothing else to worry about, right?

I want to show up as as authentic and as true to my wife and my kids as possible and be the best father and husband and all of the things that I can be. And I'm not doing that right now in the form that I was living on.

And um, you know, I just I got to the point where I was like, you know, you can't you can't beat yourself into submission. No, eventually you're going to give away. And that's what I was doing. I was just trying to beat myself into submission of saying, no, no, this is the way to do it. I'm gonna go. I because I had had the way I had learned anything up to that point was that if I run a thousand miles an hour at it, then I can beat it. Right.

If I give a if I give every ounce and every piece of energy at the thing, I can beat the thing. And then once I get on the other side of the thing, it'll be fine. Um, so I did that and I got on the other side of the thing and I was not fine.

Um and um, you know, I didn't want to be that guy that's sitting around at 75, 80 years old that amassed you know millions of dollars that I didn't have I had no one around. You know, there was that you know, and and and that that story um is very prevalent right now um in a lot of people.

So it's about an eight, eight hour, eight, eight, seven and a half, eight-hour drive. And so I just like literally, I think I had the conversation with him on a Wednesday, and I was on I was on my way to see you guys on Sunday afternoon for like a mundane session, I think. Um it was like I because I was ready. I was I was at the point where I was like, I'm no, I'm I'm doing this.

So I go down there and you know the conversations, I think the first first most most of the first day was just with him.

Like, when all the dust is settled, like what do you what do you want? And I didn't know how to answer that question. Like, truthfully, everybody has the canned responses, or they say, Wait, what are you doing all this for? You know, I remember I'm a member um and part owner of this mastermind, and I I've had conversations with uh my business partner about this is that on day one when people join this new mastermind, they get up there and they talk about their why.

And it's always their family, and that's that's that's great. That's great. It should be. But to your point earlier, it should also be yourself.

It's like what actually belongs to us, right? And so I I think it was so perfect that you actually didn't know, which created an open door for you to go and have a journey to find that out.

Yeah, if you guys have never done cold water plunges, um, that's one thing, but cold water plunges mixed with this type of um you know therapy or whatever you want to call it, um assessment. And um it was it was it was excellent. So basically at that point in time, that's when he was like, okay, I think I went to lunch and he was like, okay, it's time after when you come back from lunch, I'm gonna set you up with Esha and you're gonna do some some some shaman work, right?

And of course I was like, oh man, you know, this was I I didn't know what to expect, but I was like, I was so ready for change at the time. I was I was open-minded and willing to do whatever. And uh the first second that we met, I I knew that there was something different about you that it felt like I had known you forever, which we won't get into it right now, but there's probably a chance that we have known each other for a really long time.

Um but that you know that that that feeling that like I've known this person for a long time, not only that, but I it was not only that I had known you for a long time, but it was an initial like instant gut feeling that this person's gonna become a very important part of my life. And also that I think we're going to work together in some form or fashion in the future. That that all came to me in that first time we met.

Um, you know, and at the time I wasn't using very much intuition at all to live my life, so I was like, what the hell is this? You know? So um anyway, so that was that was when we first met.

And um, you know, I won't go into all of the specifics, but by day three, I think I had I was able to kind of let my guard down enough by trusting you and knowing the obviously seeing your skill set and the ability that you that you that you possess, and that I was comfortable in that and I trusted you enough to kind of really settle in and let myself let the walls down a little bit so we could actually do some real work.

Um and um On the third day, um, there was a couple different meditations that were super impactful on days one and days two is that we did. But I think on the third day, and you know, most people will hear this term and they it's it's become such a buzz term out there, a buzzword out there that people throw it around. But um, the spirit animal meditation the shamanic journey.

Shamanic journey for and um, you know, I for those of you that know me, and I'm I'm not wearing the right clothes right now, but I have a tattoo that is basically my entire right arm, and it's dedicated to that moment because I never wanted to forget where like that was the thing that was like dang, um this is this is real. Um and it's it I know that my life is gonna be different from that moment on, you know.

So, and I'll just give a brief kind of overview of this and please jump in at any point in time. But um the this specific meditation was where um I was lying on the floor, and uh I you might have had a drum, maybe. I think maybe if there was or wasn't I could yeah, I think we were outside, right?

I mean, you should you should be resonating with some type of spirit animal or something in this journey, right? So like I remember when you said that, and I was like, okay, cool, like I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna get like a bear or like a wolf or some cool, like, you know, like a like a tiger or something. Yeah, right, right, right, right. Right. So like that was like some testosterone driven, like, let's go.

So we started, we started doing the meditation, and at the time, and I I still struggle with this today, and and with most of you probably listen to this, if you try to meditate, you're probably dealing with the same things, is like, you know, I would I feel like I'd almost be where we would need to go, and then like a thought would come into my head, and I would get kicked back out, and then I would try to get deep again, then I get kicked back out.

And then at some point in time, I relaxed enough to like let it happen. And I immediately, it was like a it was like I came to but didn't actually come to. And I was in another world. It was absolutely amazing, and I was standing face to face with the hawk, and all I could see was the hawk was right in front of my face. And um I the hawk like blinked, and I was like, what is this?

And then all of a sudden, my entire being, my body, my soul, whatever you want to call it, went inside the eye of this hawk, and this hawk went flying through the woods, and it was like this nighttime wood wood sink. Okay. And we flew around for it, had to have been five minutes. I don't know. And I saw, I mean, I was saw, I saw the uh uh water and I saw animals underneath me and in the trees.

Like it was it was like the most high definition, like 4D experience road ride that you could go to on Disney World that you've ever been. It was then it was the it was, I mean, I could I could feel like it's flying, everything. And um at some point in time it's kind of subsides, and I I kind of come to a little bit, and I remember like looking up at you, and you're and you said, Did you see what you needed to see? And I said, Yes, and it wasn't what I was expecting.

I was like, Did you see anything? And you go, I didn't see anything, but all I know is that you were flying very fast because I could feel the wind on my face.

I just had this gut feeling that like this was only this human body and this the first 35 years of my existence was only a small sliver of what we've all came here to do. Yeah, very small. In that moment, it was like this, it was like I finally, it was like you're starving. And you finally and you finally get to take a bite of food, and like you feel that immediate rush of all of the stuff coming to you that like it's nourishing your body, and you're like, oh my god.

And then of course, you know, you you you set me up with a couple people um who I want to definitely have on the podcast to kind of even further my awakening a little bit more and give me a little bit of context of what's going on. Um, and that was you you set me up with Jeannie, and uh Jeannie done a um uh had a discussion with her. Like I was on, I hadn't even made it home.

I pulled my truck over on the way home to Nashville to have this discussion with her, and that just even fueled the you know, full fueled the fire even more. So, you know, and I think I think that's probably a pretty good stopping point, but with with the details, other than the fact that literally you are on fire in a good way, right? You know, because there's it and and it's and it's like what you said, it's that that first taste of food after being starving for so long, right?

And so many of us are starving, yeah.

There's something different about like the perspective that I've got on life.

And so much, you know, the shamanic journey when when you give yourself permission to let go, and this is part of why you know we're so rigid with ourselves and we don't want to let go, but shamanic journeys are all about dropping into non-ordinary states of reality. Yeah, all of the answers that you were seeking, you already had it inside of you. You were now just giving yourself permission to see. And I remember that day very clearly.

Like I'm taking you through this, and I'm feeling that's like home, that's like homeboy's flying. That's like he's on some bird, something because he's in the sky and he's flying because I'm here and I'm feeling the wind blowing, and the room is there's no open windows in in that room, the door's locked, but I'm feeling wind, and I'm hearing the wind. I was like, ah, all right.

So yeah, you know, and then and I just say that to say if people who are um sort of like on the fence, well, is this really real? Well, what is real? Right, and we could have a whole conversation on and what is real and what we give our our time and attention to, but there is a whole world inside of us that we haven't even begun to tap into.

And um, wow. Um, my life has not been the same ever since. And I I am super grateful for that.

Like um, I don't know, like I I am just so grateful for you. And um, you know, I I'm I'm also grateful for the fact that I think over time we've been able to lean on each other, you know, on things that you know, it's not it's not been where I've just completely just leaning on you. You know, there's been times where you've called me and said, hey, this is what I'm going through and all this other stuff. So um it's been really cool.

And um so I I I hope that if people are going through something similar, that that you you're gonna be able to have a um someone to lean on, um, and it absolutely helps.

But if for some reason you don't, maybe we this podcast and what we're talking about can be um a small sliver of that thing to lean on to maybe help give some guidance and the ability to kind of understand that um you're not alone, you're not weird, you're not going crazy, um, you're not maybe you are a little weird, and being a little weird's cool.

And um really it's just been kind of trying to fly the fly the plane while we're building it since then, right? It's uh it's it's and and that's so that and that's really and that you know if you're if you're if you're watching this and and have any resonant, if any of this resonates with you all at all, and you've been through a little bit of wake, you know what I'm talking about.

It's this it's this um complete and total um running into the darkness as fast as you can, and you don't even really care what what's what's behind there because you know that what you're what you've what you're leaving behind is not what you want, that there's something that you don't know yet that's you do want. Um and um and that's really what we want to do here is is is I'm hoping that we can maybe shine a little light on in front of you so you're not you don't you don't hit a dead end.

And and that's really what we're here for.