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Toothless

Jun 05, 20248 min
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Transcript

To this any character. That's not a way to introduce somebody on the show. Say hello, is mister Zaney. Do you have a name? Sir? Yeah, Dave? Hi, how are you good? Good? How's it going with you? She completely ghosted me. Like, what I find interesting is your first date. I've never heard of a virtual date. You met on match dot com? Yeah, we met on Match and then we did like a virtual coffee date. Zoom. I wasn't dugging donuts. I

mean with you. I don't really like people that drink Starbucks. Right, Dave, on a virtual date, what happens? Do you set the camera up while you're shipping your coffee? And well, no, I was on I was on my tablet. You know. She seems like a nice girl. But I'm a little bit of a big guy, like a bear. Yeah, yeah, kind of. But I'm not really tall, like I'm only like five to four and I two hundred pounds, you know, So okay, all right, all right, I'm a little bit on the haffy

side. But I've been doing jiu jitsu for the last year and I've actually lost forty seven pounds that in the year. That's awesome. Good for you. You're going to keep up the good work. Then yeah, yeah, I love jiu jitsu. You know, it's hard of changed my life around now, Okay, okay, God, Marie's on her ledge break. Honestly, I think you're adorable. I love you. Bust my chop. No, I think you're adorable. You're awesome. I just want to help you.

So yeah, now what happened? Where do you my call? Where? Where? Hold on? Where did you go for the second date? I took her to this really nice Italian restaurant by me, very affluent place, and she smelled very good. That's important, okay, And it was a very expensive bill, and I thought, you know, we kicked it off great. She she ate, well she has that's good than a woman

who doesn't want to eat. She she got the chicken to cote. The next morning, I'm like, hey, I'm like, I had a great time last night, just wondering, you know, like when, like what am we going to see each other again? And I didn't get anything back, and then I was worried. Oh my god. I text her too early, like stop stop stop stop stop stop. Okay, we understand, we say, but but you do realize that in normal, everyday the dating life is things like this happen and you just move on with your life.

She not returning your calls, she's not she's not getting back to you with the text. From what we understand, and just let it go. Move on, man. I mean like I kind of like her, like she's beautiful. I know, I know, I know, but it didn't work. Sweet day, Thank you. I wish she would think that too. Come on, you want to make the call, tell me about it. What's her name? The girl? The woman? Denise? Denise? Oh, come on, but people that love Starbucks shouldn't be hanging out with people

who like ducking donuts. You know it started off on the wrong foot. Here we go, let's agree with you all. I hate people from Starbucks. Hello, Hi there, how are you. My name is Marie. I'm calling from red Roses dot com. We are giving you a dozen long stam Roses today, free of charge. Your name was choked. You know what? No, no, no, I'm sorry, thank you very much, but I'm just not interesting. Thank you. Okay, stop she hung up? She hung up. Okay, reposition everyone, and let's go.

I do not take solicitors calls. Stop. Okay, okay, but I just hung up. She hung up again, She hung up again. Okay, we're gonna call one more time. David. Are you there. Yeah, typical Starbucks person. Yeah, typical people that are gonna dunkin donuts. They don't act like this and take three, take three. Okay, that's it. I'm calling. Okay, hold on, hold on, Okay, Listen to me, Listen to me. Don't hang up, don't hang up. My name is Sean Hollywood Hamilton. I'm a radio personality in New York

City and O K to you. You're on something called War of the Roses. It's a feature that we do on this station. It's whatever. I don't understand. Oh give me, give me one second, Give me one second. You're not on the radio. But later on this afternoon, we're gonna put you on the radio. If only you give us your consent. We can't put you on the radio. We're gonna offer you an incentive. Do you know a guy named Dave? Why? Well, because Dave gave

us a call here and wanted us to give you a call. In fact, he's on the line, Dave. Do you want to say hi? I don't know. I've been texting you. I've been calling you, So I figured, why not do that? Nothing to say to you. I don't want to text with you or talk to you. We tried to explain that to him. We tried to explain that to him. You've obviously you've moved on, You've moved crazy. Why am I crazy? When situation Dave is crazy? I went on two dates with you, and it was actually

three because we have the virtual one. Oh, the virtual one where I had no idea you were is it is it my like? Like? Like? Is it my height? My weight? Like? What is it like? Why? Like? Like you completely changed? Okay, well at least for being honest, and but you could have told me that to text or or a phone call saying look exactly exactly listen, I I it was. I didn't. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. When I saw you in person, and quite frankly, it pretty much just came up to my

chest. I kind of was just, how tall are you, Denise? I'm five eight, okay, okay, so he's five four. So was it his height that bothered you? No, you don't mind dating a man that's shorter than you? Well not really? Okay, that's great? Well, was it his was it his weight? He's a little he's a little happy. But no, Okay, well, well you are missing quite a few teeth. That was a little whoa, whoa. I'm sorry, come again. He must have had some popped up veneers in his mouth during the

virtual dates. He had teeth, but when we met in person, I couldn't. I just couldn't. Yeah, well, let me see if we can get this straight. David, you have zero teeth in your mouth. Let's no, it's not that I have zero teeth. I have back teeth. So yes, on a virtual date, I did have to pop in veneers, but I thought, you know, let her let's see the real me. I'm getting implants literally on Wednesday. Okay, so like you could have if you were a nice person, put in deal, Dave. I

am a nice person, but I cannot unsee what I saw. Dave, What are you doing showing up to a date with no teeth? This is a joke. My dog I have a little dog. My mom just passed away, so I I inherited her dog, and the dog ate like the fake poping veneers, I didn't have them. And I don't want to cancel the NA because I don't want to like be your jerky. You're kidding me. You can't even write this, like what waited for the Dennis to put in your teeth? Can give them a shot? Can you give them another

shot? I taunted by the vision of a man eating spaghetti with no teeth. It was coming all out of your mouth, all right, bye bye bye bye. Oh my god, I'm happy. I'm getting my teeth on Wednesday. I don't care. Then go on match dot com when you get your new teeth. I gotta go.

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