And that's why I never read the comment. I just want to like, I'm not even gonna look amazing tonight. I love what you're wearing. I'll always say, oh my god, we're all I have an angry cloud is life. But that's hard, like unless it's like an NBA team or something like whoa.
Hello, everybody, Welcome back to another special edition of Holly Randall Unfiltered. I am here at the ABN Show in Las Vegas. If you couldn't tell from my sexy cigarette smoking voice, I just want to remind everybody that today is brought to you by my exclusive sponsor, strip Chat. They are the number one adult live streaming platform in the world. They have the best interface, they have the
best mobile live streaming capabilities. Do you know that you don't even need a laptop or a webcam to stream on strip Chat. You can do it straight from your phone, which is honestly something that a lot of the other platforms can really match. So we love Stripchat for that as well as many other reasons. Follow them on Instagram at scworld dot official.
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On YouTube, their YouTube is stripjack Community. And of course, if you want to get right to the good stuff. Well, I feel like I don't need to tell you where to go use Google if you haven't figured it out by now. All right, So my guest today went from serving in the military to serving in the adult industry. He's been in for about six years now, and I'm very excited to get to know him. I know you are too. Let's welcome Bobby Gray.
Thank you, Thank you for having me. I'm honored.
Thanks well, thank you. No, it's a pleasure.
I like doing these interviews at ABM because, you know, a lot of people are in town that don't normally you know, live in LA which is normally where I record my podcast, and I get the opportunity to meet a lot of different people and do these kind of like quick little get to know you sessions, and yeah, it's just a great way to like add variety and new faces to the show.
Awesome.
Yeah, because you live in Texas right now? In Austin, right, yeah, Austin is. I spent a couple of months in Austin when I was shooting my Playboy TV show.
It's a very cool city.
Oh yes, Yeah, it's like a mix between New York and LA right now.
Yeah, it's one of the fastest growing cities too.
Right, ever since after COVID, Yeah, everybody just flooded in.
Yeah.
Yeah, speaking of COVID, that's like when you got into the industry, like around that time, right, yes.
Yes, yeah, I came in January twenty twenty. Wow, a couple months later COVID.
Oh so like right before COVID you didn't even wait for like the shutdown in like a lot of people.
You were like right before.
Wow.
So now before that, you were in the army, right, yes, and you even did a combat tour in Iraq, that's.
Correct, yea.
So how did that shift from you know, being an army vet to work in the adult industry?
How did that happen?
I always wanted to be in the adult industry. I was actually deciding back when I was in college. I was actually this closest sign of contract and going to the adult industry first. But because I made a promise to my mom, finished college, then went to the army. But I always had in the back of my I had always had that voice calling out to me, so it was natural for me. I was pretty much ready.
So when I finished up in the army in twenty fourteen, I just progressed naturally right over into acting and modeling. So I was doing that in Korea, South Korea, where I was stationed. Oh really, and then went to La back to New York, Texas. And so when I got to Texas, I said, you know what, I said, let me put the acting part to the side. Let me give this adult entertainment an opportunity, a chance. So yeah, I came across Tadpole X studio. He gave me opportunity.
I flew into Vegas, went to the hard Rock Hotel and I walked in, I saw everybody. I was just amazed. And he had promised, if I remember correctly, he had promised his fans seven new guys. And when I showed up, we get to Ela Water, we go up and he said, hey, Bobby, he said, you know, thank you for showing up. He's like, you know, I appreciate so much. And he's like, welcome to Welcome to the porn industry. He's like, by the way, you're the only guy that showed up, no pressure all on you.
Well, so he's really thankful that you showed up. Wow.
And I walked through the door and Kendri Heart my first shoot. Oh wow, yeah, yeah, and I was nervous. I was yeah, and yeah, she's like she took command of the room, like her energy. She was so bubbly and chill.
Yeah, and so how did the scene go?
Scene went good? He actually threw and to make it a group scene. He threw in one of his friends that was suppsed to shoot the next day, but he was tested and everything, so he just hadn't put a mask on. Yeah, so he did an MFM. So he was good. He was really good.
Yeah, oh wow, yeah.
Yeah.
Why did he mention, like why the other guys didn't show up? Do you do you think that it's because I will say, like I get a lot of dms. Every woman in the adult industry gets a lot of dms from guys who want to get into the industry, right, like in their head it sounds like a great idea, but the reality of it.
Is not the same exactly exactly. Do you think that that's why they chickened out.
I think that's a big part of it, because, like you said, like they have this version in their mind and now when it's kind to put up our shut up, and whether it's you know, having it out there and Internet forever, or I think the big part is them actually showing up and having you know, the lights of the camera and all these other people possibly around, you know, the manager, the agent, you ever know, or just extra
people who are there like waiting for their shoot. I think that plays into the mind of men, because again, it's it's easy when you're when you're watching it and you can envision yourself in that fantasy. But it's another thing now when it becomes reality. So yeah, when he told me that, you know, we both started laughing because we both already kind of figured that's what it was.
Now you did your first scene, what was like unexpected about it?
What was expected about it?
Like, did you finish that thinking that's exactly how I thought it would be, or where you're like, that's not at all what I thought it would be.
Well, you know, funny thing is, I cleared my mind beforehand. I just said, you know, I don't want to have any expectations. So when I went in and like I said, I was, I was nervous, even though I had been in the Swermer lifestyle before, I was kind of nervous just because again I'm going into a different realm in a sense. So I guess you could say like once I finished up, like I was, I was thrilled.
You know.
It was like I was proud of myself in a sense. You know, I actually did exactly what I said I was going to do. I followed through and I made a good impression on Tadpole and on the other folks, so they kept calling me back. But yeah, it was
I would say it was. It was eerie because I manifested that, because I had prayed about it a long time ago, because like I said, when I was in college, I like this closest signed the contract, and I guess you could say divine timing, So it just it happened exactly when it was supposed to happen.
And yeah, yeah, are you glad that you waited, because a lot of people get into the adult industry early, and not always, but sometimes they wish they had waited.
For me. I am thankful that I waited, because I just know that had I gone in at nineteen, I probably would have gotten gotten hooked up to the wrong crowd per se, and I probably would have messed a lot of stuff up for myself. And then we hear those stories all the time, in the entertainment business. You know, folks that kind of go in whether at like a very early age in their teens, young adults, and end up kind of like going like blowing through their money
and getting caught up in drugs, the bad crowd. And I think for me, not because I was a party guy too much, it was just more of like I have a really good heart, and that's like easy prey for certain you know.
Type of people. It's easy to be influenced to at that age exactly.
So I'm very thankful that I did wait. And also, you know, I got to experience, like I said, going into the military, serving my country and going overseas, meeting just the different different people going around with different cultures. So yeah, I'm glad I waited.
Do you think that the army gave you like a kind of discipline that helped you, yes.
Oh yeah, yeah. It definitely gave me structure, and it definitely gave me the ability to have like that thick skin to where like when things kind of like you know, don't go your way, especially in this industry, it's like a roller coaster ride. You managing so much, so it's like, so you got to have that thick skin where it's just like on to the next thing, you know, and just not allow other things to affect you too much.
So, yeah, have you had to navigate changes in like how friends or family perceive you since entering porn?
Uh somewhat. I don't have too many family and friends that know about it.
Uh.
The ones that do super excited. A best friend of mine, he lives in the Philippines now, and every now and again he'll hit me up and he'll send messages and go, hey, man, I'll just show these girls your your page and stuff and when you're coming out to the Philippines. And then my younger brother, we're twelve years apart, and he's he's back in New York and every now and again we'll talk.
And recently, the last time we talked a few months ago, he said that he's also interested in, you know, getting into the industry. So I gave him some tips and them some emails and that stuff, and I said, you know, I said, pick my brain as much as you want.
But uh, yeah, the uh, the family friends who know, you know, they're they were kind of shocked at first because I didn't give off the energy of that type of person that would go, you know, into into the industry because people see me as more like the clean cut, you know, guy next door type stuff. So when I do tell people their shots, yeah, but.
There's obviously like a side of you that they don't see.
Right, How do you think adult performers are still misunderstood by people outside the industry?
Oh, great question.
I mean now that you're in it, and maybe the way that you saw them before you got in it, right now that you're now that you're one of us.
Exactly, exactly exactly. I think the big part is and it's so funny because it's like us in the industry now we laugh at it. They don't seem to realize like how often we get tested. You know, on the outside, people have this mindset like Okay, I got tested in like it like they're good for a year, and I have to remind them. I'm like, that's a test, it's not a shot. Yeah, And I was like, you know, we have to get tested very often, especially depending upon
how many shootes. It could be every two weeks, every three weeks, whatever the case may be. And I think that's the misconceptions that we were like a bunch of dirty people just having sex and you know, we've got all types of diseases and runner and that's far from it. I mean, we are. And that's that's something that definitely opened my mind's eye was just how strict the industry is.
I mean, and of course because of things that have happened in the past with you know, things on set, with people not being tested and spreading stuff.
Yeah, unfortunately, we've had to learn, We've had to learn some hard lessons over the years. Yeah, but it's made us a safer industry and it's created like also, like I think a strong sense of responsibility amongst people in the industry. Like I think that people who are professionals and you know, who work consistently like understand the importance of testing and like nobody blows it off, you know exactly.
And I think also the fact that they don't, I guess they sometimes forget like that we're human. And sometimes I'll other places that I've worked at, work in fitness facilities and people have known there and they were all excited and stuff. And the funny thing is they don't realize just how chill and how relaxed and just how normal we are. Yeah, they Yeah, they truly believe like we were from like another planet.
You know, it was so funny.
I had girth Master on a few months ago, and you know, he's like fairly new to the industry doing mainstream porn, and I asked him, like, what one of the things about the porn surprised him, and he.
Said, there's a lot less orgies that I expected.
Like I thought that every party I would go to the orgies, No one's having orgies.
People are just it's like a normal party are going and like having drinks and like talking.
Yeah, yeah, which I thought was so funny. Yeah, I mean it's it's it's a beautiful thing to see, like when you can actually just chill out, relax, enjoy a drink, cap of conversation with people, and that's something I think for me, it didn't surprise me too much when I was on the outside, because, as I said, like I wanted to be an industry for so long. So when I had the opportunity to meet like Shawn Michaels joining Angel at the Expos Awards years back, I got to
kind of peek into that world a little bit. I got to hang out with people at the after the award shows and stuff, and it was just so calming, It was so relaxing. It was like it was like I felt like I belonged, you know, and I loved it.
Yeah.
I say this so frequently that people are probably sicking to me saying it. But it is very much like a big kind of misfit family. And Mick Blue actually brought a friend of his to one of the awards ceremonies and he told Mick that, and he was someone who works in mainstream Hollywood, and this like really stuck
with me. And he said that he couldn't believe how incredibly close everybody was and how like genuinely happy everybody was to see everybody, and like the like the love and the connection between people was felt really genuine, and it was like I've never seen that at a Hollywood party at all, And I thought about I actually went to like Paris Hilton's birthday party last year or something with a friend of mine, and it was very like la,
you know, like nobody was talking to each other. People were just like no one was talking to each other. It was like no one knew each other. Everyone was just standing.
In these little groups.
Yeah, and everyone looked so bored. It was like the most boring party I've ever been to, and I was like, this is not the world I want to be in. Like it made me so grateful for working important.
You know.
Yeah, so you've been married twice and you now prefer a polyamorous lifestyle.
What did traditional relationships teach you about yourself?
That I'm not monogamous? That it is, Yeah, it's it's the traditional relationship lifestyle. Nothing wrong with it, but it's just not for me. I felt like, I don't know, I felt like I was confined, and uh, I think for me, like society gives you like a guidebook and it's to learn from and create your own. The mistake I made was I was actually like following it to a tea, you know, go to college, career, get married.
And it also taught me that I'm very sensual, very sexual, Like I love women, you know, I love being sexual. And I think being in a monogamous relationship, at least from what I saw growing up, it was it was confined in the sense that it's almost like you you couldn't have certain thoughts, you couldn't be a certain way
even in your own relationship. Like something was wrong with you, And that's what I went through in both those relationships, and it got to the point where I was just like, you know what, I the best thing to do is just to walk away. We're not compatible, you know. And it was nothing against them, wonderful, wonderful women, but I knew what they needed and I just was not that and I knew what I needed. So it it, like I said, divine time, like everything just kind of fell
into place where it was supposed to. And then the port the opportunity for the porn industry came up, and yeah.
Can you tell us the story of how you earned the nickname mister Honeymoon.
Yes. So I was on a sept for Tadpole TADPOLEX Studios, and I don't know if it was either, Yes, it was Exotica Chicago and Exotica Miami. So on the set doing the game scene and because I take my time, I worship the woman's body. I listened to her energy and that's just how I how I kind of navigate. So there was this guy, I'm not gonna get his name, good guy, good guy. He didn't mean anything by it. So after the one in Chicago, he walks up to me, and he's just like, hey, man, you know, just so
you know, I get your style and everything. I respect it, but you know, this is gang bang. You know we got to be like pop pop pop to the next one pop pop pop, Yeah, the next one, right, And I said no, I said, I completely understand. And we talked for a little bit, and then when I got back home, he had messaged me again. I guess he felt really bad, so he messaged me this long, you know, nice message and he said he said, yeah, you know,
he's giving me some more advice. And so then I said to him, I said, hey, I said, you know, duly noted, but I said, also realized. I said, this is the reason why Tadpole keeps, you know, asking me to come back, because he likes my style. His fans like my style. I guess it ads like a different dynamic.
And then also a lot of times in the past when Tadpole reached out to the women and they were kind of like, I don't know if I can make it, then he would show them my profile and they're like, oh, yeah, he's going to be there. I'll be there. I was like, okay, So it again, I in my own way contributed that energy, and that's what I also loved about it was just being on the set and seeing like the different people
who have, you know, brought something different. So then now the Miami Exotica shoot, same thing again, and the same guy is there, and so everybody finishes up. Tadpole's standing there butt naked with the camera and he's looking at me, and I'm on top of Sarah Arabic. Wonderful, wonderful.
We love Sarah Arabic.
I met her for the first time on the Expis red carpet because she did an unboxing of the strip chat merch that we gave away at the party that we did at David Busters.
So thank you, Sarah.
I will always love you for that special like social media like shout out, yes.
She is awesome, like her energy, the way we connected. So I'm on top of her, and I think we both kind of forgot where we were. So that's why Tadpole was like, hey, Bobby, youre about to finish up?
Was like, so I said, yeah, one second. So just as I get ready, the guy he's standing there and he has his hands on his hips, sure on his hips, Like there he goes mister Honeymoon, and everybody starts busting out left and I stopped like right before I come and I look over and I was like, bro, thank you, I'm going to use that. And I just took it and ran with it, and so ever since then, I used mister Honeymoon, and yeah, it's stuck because it was
funny too. It's like I was looking for a nickname for myself and Boems, you just gave it to me right through him.
So do you feel though, then, because I understand what he's saying about gang bangs and gang bangs are like a very yes. I've talked a lot about how the dynamic actually matters between the guys than it does between like the women and the guys, because it is very much a dance. Do you feel like gang bangs are maybe like not your niche because it sounds like you're more of like a one on one kind of guy.
Yes, oh yes, Oh yeah. So that's something that I recently just came to a conclusion to, like, I've done gang bangs and orgies and I love them great. But the best way I can say is that I got to greedy Dick. You know, he just wants it all for himself, and so I've when it comes to group stuff, it'll be just more like me and other women. But yeah,
I've realized that my energy just doesn't fit and that's okay. Yeah, That's what I've come to learn that I don't have to be everything for everybody because I'm just not going to be able to accomplish that. So the best thing, the best way for me to give my best performance is just to be myself and be in that environment where I can actually just fully commit my energy to her.
It's important to know your niche and like your strengths, you know, because that helps you follow like the path that's right for you and put yourselves in the scenes that like help you shine. Considering everything that you've been through in the last six years, what advice would you give someone considering entering the industry today, and we're talking about like men specifically.
Be yourself, take your time, don't feel as I was saying earlier, don't feel like you have to try to do everything and be everything for everybody. Like, really figure out and hone in on what your gift is. When I was in the acting side of entertainment, one of my asking coaches that said to me, find what is appealing about you and sell the shit out of it. So whatever that is that that draws people to you. And then also because I've had guys reach out to me and say, man, how do I get in on
this stuff? And all the advice I've given them, and I said, one of the things is because I asked about like how do they meet the women? And I say, you can either reach out to them, you know, on their links, or you contact whatever agency they're with. But I said, just make sure that when you reach out to them, because some of them have had I guess bad experiences when they were talking to the women. And I just say, just be a gentleman, just say hey,
you know, I'm Bobby Gray. I've been in an industry or I've just got into an industry. I'm talent tested through TTS or cleared. I would love to film with you sometime. I have no problem traveling to you or flying you to me if the vibe is right, you know, by all means, check out my profile and guys, if you have references, put that in there as well. Say hey, you know I can have I can give your rect
miss upon request. And I have no problem. Give you my QR code, my lab results and everything like that, and please check out my profile any questions. I'm an open book and laid out right there.
All right, Well, thank you so much for coming to join us. It was a pleasure to get to know you. Can you tell everyone where they can find you online? Please?
Yes, you can go to x. You can find me at Bobby Gray xxx. My OnlyFans be Bobby Gray xxx. That's where you can find me and you have all my links there and if for whatever reason, you can also type in handsomehead dot com.
All right, guys, stay tuned. I have some more interviews lined up.
Okay, So my guest today went from college cam model to one of the fastest rising names in the adult industry, racking up tens of millions of views, landing major award nominations, and building a massive fan base and record time. But behind the success are some truly unhinged early stories, hard lessons, and a crash course in navigating an industry. It doesn't always come with a manual.
Let's welcome Addison Vodka.
Hello, Hi, I'm so happy to be here.
Yeah, I'm so glad that we could finally make that Yes, so Addison, I guess let's start, like I do with most of my guests, start from the beginning. We always want to wonder how you ended up on the dark side.
Yes, how does your story begin?
So? I actually started out back when I was a preschool teacher.
I was still living with my parents.
And I had a boyfriend at the time who I found out was using this camming website behind my back. And I had asked him repeatedly to stop because I found out that he was using it.
He didn't stop.
So when you say using it, he was not a performer on it, he was. No, he was live.
Streaming himself on it for fun, I guess.
Okay, so he was like as a performer, Yeah, I wasn't like a like a fan on there, like tipping.
Other girls both, okay, gotcha.
On a very small scale, I know, he had maybe three viewers.
Yeah, so he.
Didn't stop when I asked him to.
So at that point I kind of just thought to myself, Well, if you can do it, then I'm going to do it. And I went on the website and made an account, and the first night I had over twelve thousand viewers, and I made a.
Bunch of money.
Wow.
And then within the next few days, I moved out of my parents' house and I quit my job.
Oh my god.
So camming like really launched you, like into a whole new stratosphere, just.
A whole different world.
I didn't really know what I was doing at that point in my life. I was in this stupid relationship, I had moved back in with my family. I was just struggling all around. And then it kind of gave me this new door to unlock where I fell. I had some freedom, you know, and once it started, I just couldn't really get away from it.
Wow. What surprised you the most about camming?
I think it was the response that I got.
I had assumed maybe if I logged onto one of these websites, I would have five people watching me. Having ten thousand plus people watching you live was insane.
It was so hard for me to even grasp that.
And everyone was just so nice to me, and it was so crazy to start building a fan base.
I just never bad them something like that could happen.
Were there some things that you did early in your camming career that now you are like, Oh, I should have done that differently.
I think no, Honestly, I think I really loved the way that I was just this crazy.
College party girl.
That was the vibe, and it was really fun. It was really natural.
It was just me on laptop webcam having fun with my friends and with guys and just doing crazy stuff. So I wouldn't change it, I don't think.
So how long did you cam before you transitioned into doing studio work, which is what you're doing now, right, Yes.
I think I was camming for almost two or three years, okay, and then I started doing OnlyFans. I had started meeting more people, I went to expos and stuff, and then once I started doing OnlyFans, I just opened more of the world, you know. And then I started doing studio work, which was crazy.
Tell me about that transition from like, you know, you're camming, then you're doing only fans. These are still two things that are very much like in your control, right, Yes, and probably a lot of it was shot at your home, maybe by yourself. Yeah, and then transitioning into doing studio works like a whole different thing.
So what was that move like for you?
So it was a little scary. I had met.
A few mainstream porn stars at an event in Miami, and I just thought it was so cool and it seemed so fun. I had no idea. I didn't know how to get an agent, I didn't know how to do anything. I just started emailing the websites on there, like scroll to the bottom and email the help email.
Yeah, and one of.
Them actually emailed me back. So that's how I started shooting. And the transition felt oddly very natural to me.
I was nervous, of course, because.
It is very different than being in the comfort of your home and just being alone. But once I started doing it, I was like, this is really what I enjoy. It's so much fun.
Tell me about your first experience, like your first studio shoe, What was that like.
I was in Florida and I think it was for New Biles and they had sent me a crazy long script and I'd never done anything like that before at all.
Everything I read a script in my life. Yeah, and I was so nervous.
I just remember I kept messing up and messing up, and I felt so bad for the poor director and camera people I was. I almost cried. I was just so anxious and nervous, and that scene haunts me to this day because my acting is atrocious, But that's rough.
Like I've been the director on the other side of that. I've also been the talent on the other side of that, Like when I had a show for a Playboy TV and I would have to I never understood what it was like being talent until I did that show and I was just a host. I wasn't a performer at all, right, But having to struggling with something and then still having to like project this image of like I'm happy or I'm this or you know what I mean a place that you're not feeling at the moment is tough.
And you know what's funny is that.
I am very very bad at memorizing line, like very bad even if I wrote the script. Yeah, I'll write myself lines, Like all of a sudden, when I used to shoot like Digital Playground and stuff, I put myself in as a like a non sex role just because I didn't want to pay somebody else to do it, so I would just get it myself.
But I wouldn't remember my own line, yeah, my own lines.
Yeah, And like everyone's waiting for me the director, Hello, you can't find doer lines And it's just like and you get caught in that yeah, in that headspace, and then it gets worse and it's.
Like, yeah, oh hard.
Yeah, the spiral with it was definitely the worst thing. Yeah, over time, I've gotten much better at memorizing lines.
I think it took a little while, but no, that haunts me every day.
That's so bad.
Okay, So I mean, overall, do you feel like this scene was fairly successful, Like once you get to the sex part, did that at least go better?
I think so.
I think I was Also, it was it was funny because that being my first scene, it was more technical type of one. They really liked to cut between each you know, position and this and that's so it felt very stop and starts, stop and start, and I was just which is so different than like camming line?
Yeah, as being in the moment.
Yes, and then of course later down the line, I had experiences where they were like, okay, just go.
We're just gonna roll through the thirty minutes, go have fun.
So it was crazy, It was.
It was nerve wracking, and but I think funny enough to see people like it a lot, And I think I'm just overly critical of it because you know, I just know that was my first yeh.
Ever, what was the hardest part of transitioning from solo camming to the larger porn industry, like agents or sets or expos or lines.
Yeah.
I think one of the hardest parts was just navigating the whole new world itself. I mean all of those things like together, you know, finding an agent was scary. Just making sure that I was doing the right things. You know, of course you're never always going to do the right thing, but trying my best to do that. Just meeting so many new people, putting myself in all these new crazy positions and experiences.
So I think all of it was pretty hard.
But at a point it started to flow naturally, and I think that the transition just was the right one.
Yeah, the mainstream adult world can also be competitive and confusing without lesense.
What do you wish someone had told you early on?
I think.
Someone should have told me that, you know, everyone has their own journey, everyone goes at different paces.
I think it's really easy to get caught.
Up in the comparison, especially, you know, if you see someone that started at the same time as you, and you see someone on a different path than you, you and you feel like you're not leveling up to that, et cetera, et cetera.
You know, there's everyone has.
Their own timeline.
I think that success comes at all different rates and times, and to just not put so much pressure on yourself to get somewhere a certain time, right, Yeah.
Right, yeah, that constant comparison social media doesn't help with that, no either.
No, So, how do you protect your mental health while navigating like this world? Because the adult industry can be you know, quite training for several reasons.
Yeah, I think it's important to be able to take time away. I think for me, I like to go home. I like to take a week if I have to. Just taking time to reset yourself mentally and physically, and just keep time to do the things that you like to do, no matter how small the time is. Because there's been times where I've overworked myself for weeks on end and then I go crazy.
So I think I've learned to.
Kind of balance it a little more, which is hard to do because I feel a lot of us are workaholics.
But it's important.
Yeah, and I mean really being you know, being a creator in the adult industry, you're really like you are an entrepreneur. Yeah, I mean I interviewed Melrose Michaels a couple of weeks ago, and she said something you know that like very much, just said it in a very straightforward manner, you know. And I said, what advice would you give to someone who's looking to get into the industry, And she said, do you want to be an entrepreneur?
Yeah?
As the first question I'd ask, because that's exactly what you're going to be. Yes. And it's a lot of.
Work you're always on, even if you know, it's just always in your head all the time. And it's great because you know it's everything and it's what you want to be doing, but it is always there.
Yes, you've experienced stigma both inside and outside of the industry. How do you navigate friendships dating like public perception?
I mean, I've had my fair share of losses and gains throughout my time in the industry. I've lost friends that I was friends with before and who didn't really want to continue being my friend throughout. It's tough. I think it just comes with time. I mean, people are always going to judge what you're going to do, and if they do, that's just not the right place for
them to be in your life, right. I think the stigma is difficult to handle sometimes, but surrounding yourself with people who accept and appreciate you just for being who you are is important and makes it all better.
What is the one most common misconception that you hear from people about the adult industry.
That we're all like suffering.
All the time, that you all want to be rescued?
Yes, yeah, someone needs to save us all.
That's the one I think that drives me the most crazy. I get those kind of comments all the time. They're like, someone needs to save all these girls. You know, we're all.
Here on our free wills. We want to be here.
Yeah, so there's probably not anyone that needs saving.
Yeah.
I mean that whole thing is just this automatic assumption of placing women as like victims, and that that whole thing always drives me insane.
Yeah.
You've also talked about porn as a safe way to explore your fantasies. Yes, Can you explain that to people who may feel like that sounds contradictory to what they imagine the adult industry is like?
Right? So for me, I guess when I say that, it's you know, I get to have the ability to be in a safe, consensual, I guess, in a way guarded atmosphere to do these crazy things that I've always wanted to do, because you know, before I would have been on some Tinder or something and meeting up with a guy, and who knows, that could maybe not go so great. Yeah, and it's scary because outside of porn.
Funny enough, I feel I'm quite shy where it used to be, and I always wanted to explore so many more of my sexual interests and stuff, but I was just shy.
Yeah, So being able to just have it laid out for me ready to go, I was a lot better than just thinking about it.
You know what, specific like sexual fantasies, have you been able to play out in a scene.
I have been able to do a lot more BDSM esque stuff. I was suspended for the first time not too long ago, which was really fun. I've always wanted to do that.
I mean, yeah, that's a perfect example of having to make sure that you're working with a professional, yeah, because they have to know how to suspend you in the right way, because that can be dangerous if it's not done correctly exactly.
And that was all always something that I wanted to do, but I was like, I don't even know where to find someone.
Rights, what do I do? Yeah?
So you did it a soft white belly interview which gets an enormous amount of traffic. Yeah, and it brought you a lot of mainstream attention. How was that experience for you?
It was really just insane, an insane experience. I was a huge fan of the channel itself beforehand, so doing that interview, I was very nervous. I was really nervous, and people were not very kind in the comments. That was the first time that I've ever been exposed to such harsh kickback on the internet for the first time in my life.
People most of the time are pretty nice and before.
Yeah, but because you're being supposed to a whole different audience, a whole different audience.
And I think these people couldn't handle that I was happy with what I'm doing and they want to see someone who's suffering in.
A sense, they want that confirmation bias.
Yes, and they were just most of the comments were just saying that I was so broken and so sad and they could feel the pain behind my eyes.
There's all this crazy stuff.
And was it about you being a cam model, because I know he always say is very like specific.
A lot of them just said, you know, because I talked about how I'm very happy with my porn career, I'm very happy with the life that I've set up, I'm happy with my job, et cetera. And I just think people couldn't really handle that I'm happy and okay.
Having that exposure.
And then obviously, like just being in the industry, Now, how do you de say what parts of yourself that you want to like protect when the internet just kind of wants everything from you.
I think I struggle with that a little bit.
Pretty an open book on the internet, especially being a cam model, You're constantly just talking to them, and it feels very personal. So that's sort of what I carry through the way that I use social media when I.
Interact with my fans and everything.
I mean, obviously I keep my very personal personal life separate, but otherwise.
I think I share mostly everything.
Yeah, so I don't have too much that I hide from the Internet, which probably should have hid some more.
But well, I think it's like all has to do with everybody's comfort zone. Yeah, I'm the same way. I'm I'll tell you pretty much anything. Yeah, and I'm very open, but like like you, there's a lot of the things that I don't talk about are because I'm protecting the privacy of somebody else exactly right, Yeah, someone close to me. Yes, yeah, otherwise I would, but it's like it's not my secret to share story to share. Yeah, like it directly affects me in a very strong way, but it's also not
like just my decisions. Yeah, there's things that I hope back. Yeah, but otherwise, like if it's about me, right, you know, I'm also like one of those people who, like I love to talk about like my pain and my drama. If you want to like ask me like really hard questions about like things that are very like you know, very emotionally triggering for me.
I'm all about it. Oh yeah, anytime, I will on you any time exactly.
I'm like, I will talk for three hours straight if you need me.
So, what a terrible segue for this question. You've had some sugar Daddy Shenanigan.
Yes, yes, I've had some really funny situations, some that just I feel fine their way to me.
I don't know.
How I've I've dabbled in that world, but most of the time, it just finds me.
I think one of the craziest ones was when I was living in New York City.
I someone had found me on Twitter and I was just I was a very small person at this time. You know, I wasn't a name or anything, just a small camgirl. And uh, turns out this man was a Hasidic Jewish man living in New York and.
Just I don't know.
I was always terrified because I never I was like, you're putting so much on the line here to give me money and help me with my life. He just would bring me money all the time, give me a credit card, like I don't even know.
And it was.
Crazy because did you ever meet him in person? Yes, we met in person many times. And what was interesting about this was he it wasn't a sexual relationship at all, wow, not once, not even text exchange, just friendly. It was one of the strangest things I've ever He's a great, great man.
What was his reasoning for? I don't know.
I think that he just saw me on the internet and I maybe wanted to help me.
But you know, it was so what did you guys like talk about? Because I actually had a similar experience, really a long time ago.
Yeah.
Yeah, And I made it clear to him from the start that I would never have sex with him.
Yeah, that was never gonna happen.
But he called himself Actually I kind of appreciated this, but he called himself like a patron of mine, where like he appreciated my work, right, like my photography and stuff, and he just wanted to support me in that, like he helped put a down payment on my equipment van. Yeah, it was like it was kind of like unsexy shit, like he would want to like buy me like sexy stuff for like obvious reasons, and I'm like, I don't need laingery. I need a down payment on my equipment.
Right, No, I need rent for the next three months, not any set good. Yeah, I mean we just were friends, I guess in a sense. But I always assumed, you know, there was the underlying, Yeah, you have feelings for me, m et cetera, because why are you doing this for some random girl putting your entire life and reputation on the line. But I mean eternally grateful, of course. But yeah, that was just.
Things like that just somehow find their way to me.
I'm not sure you still talk to him we do here and there, but no, after I moved away, it kind of dwindled out.
I think he maybe was like, I should.
Probably stop doing it at some point.
But yeah, and then you also sit saying else about seizures.
Yes, I actually was. This wasn't too long ago.
I was a man had taken me shopping and we you know, he's kind of similar in that sense, just someone who was very generous to me.
And he while we were checking out, he.
Was handing me his card and his hand was shaking, and I thought like he was messing around with me, trying to be like, oh no, don't take it. Yeah, but no, he was fully like seizing. Oh my god, and We're in the middle of the store, and I just freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I had to take him outside. I like called the ambulance.
It was one of the craziest and the worst part was while he was handing it to me, I hit him like, oh, on back, because I thought he was messing around with me, and like to find out he's like about to pass away on me.
Wow.
So I think was he epilectic, like had this happened before? No, I don't even know it was the craziest thing ever. And I was like, Okay, I'm never going shopping with a man ever again.
Wow, that's not me.
I'm traumatized.
I ever find out what was wrong with him?
No, no, he he was also very strange about it, just completely played it off like, acted like nothing happened, wouldn't talk about it.
It was the craziest of the craziest things ever. I thought I was. I thought I made it all up and I was like a big drinker.
No, No, I don't know.
Interesting. I know more about seizures than I should.
I know nothing about it that I don't know anymore.
I didn't until last year.
But speaking of men and shopping, Yes, I have to ask you the one question that everybody wants to know.
How important is penis sized to you?
Oh?
Man, Honestly, I do love.
Good size, like I do love it a.
Lot length or girth or both.
I like both, but I prefer girth, I think. But it's not it's not make or break. I love it, but I'm okay with you know average. Okay, Yeah, so it's not the most important thing ever, but I'm glad I get to experience it.
Okay. Other question for you, what is big to you?
Because like some girls, I'll talk to them like I like average size, you know, like eight inches. I'm like, that's not average age.
Average average is actually five and a half inches, all right. I mean I guess big to me is like.
The guys with the crazy penises, you know, like yeah, like crazy big.
I like it.
I don't know, it's it's my favorite, probably, but I do average under eight is good too.
And then what sex advice do you think that most men need to hear?
Oh gosh, I fear there is not a general piece of advice I could give, because I think every man is so different, is what I've come to notice.
I think.
Some advice would be for everyone would maybe just to be more sensual, like sometimes you know, really don't just ram into it.
More for a play. Yeah, that's pretty much what I hear from almost a Yeah, I think.
That is a good general piece of advice, ycause I think a lot of guys like watch porn and like you know, and it kind of gets straight into it. But it's also just because like a scene can only be so long, and like if there's a ton of foreplay, it's like, yeah, it just takes forever, right, Yeah, and it's but yeah, I think I think that is one thing that I find that most women ask for more four plates because we're not We're so different than guys, right, yeah,
take us longer to warm us up, so to speak. Yes, in four play I have found also like doesn't even necessarily have to be touching.
Yeah right.
It can be like auditory, It can be you know, like I don't know, sending like sexy texts throughout the day or something like that.
Yeah, Like you know, it can get I.
Think, just intimacy in general, you know, any form of it. Yeah, I think is a good way to four play.
Yeah.
Yeah, So Addison, you've built a massive digital success in a fairly short amount of time. What do you think fans actually connect with the most about you?
Oh?
Man, well, thank you for that.
Also, I think I'm very personable. I think that's some thing that from the start, even way back to just in my bedroom days, is that was what drew people to me just kind of my personality. I guess that I seem like a really normal girl per se. I think that is something that people really like. I noticed that a lot, especially on my websites as well, when I'm talking to people, they just really enjoy that it's me, it's real, it's not just some bought I guess, robot girl.
Yeah, it kind of like points to how you were saying that. You know, sometimes you're very much an open book, right, you have a hard.
Time holding things back. Yeah, it probably resonates with people.
Yeah.
I think they like the authenticity that I can give them. You know, they really like getting to know me on a personal level.
Do you do custom videos and stuff like that?
Yes, yeah, I do a lot of live streams too.
Still, so I think people really like that because I never shut up and I just talked.
What do you find that people ask for you from you the most?
Ooh, I think people really like my role play videos. Okay, that's one of the things I get the most, even custom requests. People just always want me to play some type of role.
What's the most common role you get asked to do?
A girlfriend? Okay, people want me to be their girlfriend with their names.
And I think that was a lot of videos of mine that went kind of viral in a sense, not viral, but you know, got good viewings on the internet. So I think that's what people really like to see from me. I guess they want the girlfriend experience. Yeah, I mean it sounds like they feel very connected to you. Yeah, which is fun. I really like doing that, Like I love doing POV stuff. It's really fun to be able to make each video unique for someone. You know.
Any like crazy customer requests you've gotten that you've just been like, oh, either you accepted or didn't.
Yeah, I've gotten really crazy ones just with stuff that I would never do, like taking it to a whole new level, like with bodily fluids of all swords out, Yeah, anything like that.
Really insane ones like that. So I feel like that's probably the craziest stuff that I get.
I have had a few, like kind of campy ones, you know, people wanting me to do like really long scripts that are pretty out there. But those are fun. I like those, Yeah, but yeah, just creepy ones sometimes.
Looking ahead, what does the next step look like for your like, career wise or personally?
I think personally there's I guess they go hand in hand in a sense.
Personally, I want to further my career more so this year.
There's a lot of goals I have mainstream wise, I would really like to be able to accomplish.
There's a lot of companies and things that.
I want to do that I hope bring my career to another level where I want to be.
I just see a lot of longevity in this realm.
For me.
It's where I want to be.
It's where I'm happy to be, and I care so much about my place and my position in the industry that all I want is to be.
More successful at it.
So we're at the beginning of a new year January.
Any big plans for twenty twenty six, I mean, I just hope to be able to do a lot more big projects.
I have a lot that I'm hoping to do.
Are there any specific brands that you're like dying to shoot for.
I would love to work for Brawsers.
I think that's probably one of the last ones left on my lips to knock out. I just would love to do some more movie esque projects. I had so much fun doing that this year.
I like features, Yes, yeah, I because you're going to remember your lines is yes.
I'm actually very good at it now. I had so much fun doing the horror stuff. I really want to lean into more acting stuff this year. I didn't think I was going to enjoy it and do it so well, so that was really exciting for me. I hope to be able to do some anal this year the first time, and then we'll see what happens.
All right, it sounds like twenty twenty six is going to be Addison's ear. Yes, amazing, Well, thank you so much for coming on.
I go to connect with you too. Can you let everyone know where they can find you online? Please?
Yes, you can find me at Addison Vodka dot com or Instagram at Addison Vodka XO and that has everything.
And you guys can of course find me at Holly Randall on Instagram and on Twitter. Go to hollylinks dot com for access to all of my plan platforms. Thank you guys so much for joining, and I'll see you on the next one.