I want to give you the tools to have a sex life that keeps you younger, makes you live longer and gives you a happier life than someone who gives up on their sex life because they didn't get the information.
What would you say about having more intimacy in your love life, creating a better experience in the bedroom and beyond? And we all know how to have sex? Right, we know how to have sex, not a problem, there, got it. Check that off the list. But when it comes to being a better lover and connector and communicator with your partner in the boudoir and beyond, how does that sound? I imagine you're like all right, sign me uphill. I hear you, I got it. And it's easy for us to think about it that way.
But life gets in the way. We're purpose-driven humans here, right, you're tuning into HIListically Speaking week after week because you know you want to have the value of being a better human being over human doing. But we get caught up in the do-do-do world, right, that's how we learn to hug it out with ourselves. So it's easy to watch that sex life really dwindle. And we have career, we have kids, we have life. Everything can get in the way.
And before you know it, everything can get in the way and before you know it, your connection is in crisis. So what do you do about it? Well, I have the perfect guest who's going to have a wonderful conversation with us. It's Susan Bratton. She is known as the intimacy expert to millions, and you can be one of those just from tuning into this podcast A champion, an advocate for those who desire more passion in their love life, not just sex life, love life.
We're going to talk about the difference, Susan, I'm so glad you're here. This is something I think we can all find value in, and I know you have a story and the first thing people always ask is how does somebody get into this work? How do you make a career of being the intimacy expert to millions? It's a good question.
I made it up, Hilary. Just like the rest of my life, I have a determination to create the life that I want, and a part of what I wanted to do through you. Know how they always say your greatest wound becomes your greatest gift.
Oh yeah absolutely.
I just love that saying. And what happened for me was that when I was 42, I almost got divorced from my husband. We'd been together for a dozen years and when I first met him, sex was good. But over the years I just wanted less and less and less, until I was avoiding him, until I used every trick in the book to get out of having sex with him and it drove him to emotionally disconnect from me.
We had busy careers, we were raising our daughter and there I was, standing in the doorway of my beautiful home with my little girl, who was six years old, watching my husband drive away. I'd asked him to move out and he had been seeing another woman, basically just to get his needs met and just try to stay in the marriage with me. It's a lot easier for women to give up our sexuality generally than it is for men. And I thought what the hell am I doing?
I love this guy, I just don't want to have sex with him. What can be done here? And I was like turn around, come back. We've got to figure this out. Because my first response when I found out that he was with someone else was like well, then we need to get divorced, but then I realized I don't want to get divorced, I want to fix the problem. What's the problem?
And hindsight being 2020, the problem was that I had had intercourse with my husband for 12 years, day in, day out, and I'd never had an orgasm from it my husband for 12 years, day in, day out, and I'd never had an orgasm from it. It just wasn't that great for me. Well, how come it wasn't? That's what we set about figuring out, because it was great for him every time he did it, but it wasn't for me.
I'm 63 now, so I've been with him 33 years, so this was two decades ago and within a matter of months we solved the problem and started having great sex. Great sex so great that we were like, oh my God, we need to tell everyone how easy it is to learn to have great sex.
And we were internet startup people, we lived in the Silicon Valley, we had done very well with our startups and we decided to start a company together, which was the birth of Personal Life Media, a publishing company that teaches passionate lovemaking. We went on to launch the Steamy Sex Ed video collection, better Lover products, and basically what we did to start having good sex was we went to therapy, but that was helpful for me moving through some trauma that I'd had. I had a lot of trauma.
I'd had a lot of sexual abuse and a lot of emotional abuse as a child. It made me feel very unsafe and I dissociated a lot during sex because of it. My therapist really helped me work through all of that and get right with it and let it go and see where it was holding me and see how it was keeping me from being my essential self. The learning sex techniques was really the trick. We just didn't know what we were doing Like.
In your introduction to me you said you know we all, we all know how to, we all know how to have sex. And I'm like not if you know what I know. What most people are having is procreative tab A into slot B, and that's not pleasurable romantic, erotic, heart-connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking. And there's literally no place to learn that except from people like myself. And I am not a therapist. I don't sit in a chair.
I don't sit in a chair in a room with people and work through their traumas. I'm the opposite end of that. I'm the plus up. I'm the person who says here's how to have the 20 kinds of orgasms. Here's how to do bedroom communication. Here's how to know what you want and ask for it. Here's how to have the 20 kinds of orgasms. Here's how to do bedroom communication. Here's how to know what you want and ask for it.
Here's how to have your partner love you, asking for what you want, because that's what they want to give you. Here's how your arousal works as compared to your partner's and how you're not broken because you don't operate like he does. So stop beating on yourself and thinking you're broken. Your libido's ruined. There's something wrong. It's literally that you haven't gotten the kind of lovemaking that a woman's body needs, because everything we see in pornography and the media is male focused.
So once you right those wrongs and give those simple techniques. I have the easiest job in the world. I tell you what to do, you do it and by the third time you try it, it works Three times a charm for almost everything sexually. The first time someone does something, they're like oh, I didn't notice it, I didn't feel it, I didn't like it, I wasn't sure. That's because it's new.
You're creating new neural pathways and that was one of the things that I was really excited to come on and talk to you about, Hilary, is because you start with the mind, and we know the mind is the biggest sex organ. But why? These are things that I was really excited to talk to you about today, because my sense of your audience is that, if you're listening to Hilary and I right now, you are a person who's like I want tips, I want techniques, I want to overcome whatever's been holding me back.
I am a, I'm an overachiever. Give me the tools, and that's why you're spending time here. So I want to give you the tools to have a sex life that keeps you younger, makes you live longer and gives you a happier life than someone who gives up on their sex life because they didn't get the information.
Now you got people really curious, including myself, because, yes, the idea that it's easy to just have sex, the sexual act, but truly having the intimacy and the arousal and the orgasms is, is we sometimes look at it that it's hard to get that? It's hard to get that because life gets in the way. It's hard to get that because I've been through my traumas. It's hard to get that because I don't really, even when I ask what I want, I'm not getting what I want. But can we simplify this?
Like, how do we get to that place to where it's an experience that both parties involved are going to just really connect and say more of that, please? Yeah.
There's three legs to the stool. So when you're looking at the big, big, big, big picture, what's the 10,000 foot perspective on your understanding? How to have that what I call sex span? Extending your sex span, not just your health span, but your sex span. Great sex that keeps getting better your whole life long.
Because for me, at 63 now, I'm having the best sex of my life and there is absolutely no question in my mind that it's going to continue to get better, because I've been on a 20 plus year trajectory of it getting better. I have more skills, more confidence, more orgasmic pleasure and intensity. So how do you do this? How do you get on what I like to call the upward pleasure spiral? It's like transforming friction. My genitals rubbing together gives me an orgasm, all right, it does.
Gives me an orgasm All right it does. But it's like friction into connection, into a depth of soulful, passionate intimacy where you get so turned on for each other and you're just in this place where the world falls away and you're playing off of each other. And it's the kind of sex that makes you feel like you can touch source. It's the kind of sex that makes you look forward to the next time instead of ugh. I know I've got to have sex with him and I just don't feel like it.
Can I touch on one thing? You just said, connecting to source, and it reminds me I've had people on the show talk about libido before, even tantric sex. Is it similar to that where we're talking about the tantric side of things? Because, connecting to source and the soul, self, and that experience where both of you are just feeling that energy.
Yeah, source is a word for Another word for Gaia, which is another word for God, which is another word for the conscious connection we all have to each other, thing that has held us back from having the kind of passionate intimacy that we have wanted our whole lives but given up.
Believing is available to us, and that's because when you have super passionate sex you can actually through orgasmic pleasure, ecstatic bliss, you can actually feel like you touched God, gaia, source, whatever it might be. That's what tantric lovemaking is. It is the kind of orgasmic ecstasy that makes you see God, and churches want to shut that shit down, because if you're seeing God through loving someone else, you're not coming into church to see God there.
And that's why religious repression has been to say that sex is for procreation only. And then it becomes patriarchal. We become we're supposed to have sex instead of we want to, because we're wildly erotic goddesses, and all of that is repression that we need to break free from as best we can in this lifetime. If you believe in afterlife, I mean I personally don't, but I like the concept. It sounds great. I just haven't gotten to that as an actual possibility for myself.
I'm more concerned with this life.
Me too. I'm very concerned with this life, and so even when I say the word sex, people think intercourse, we've got to have sex, all right, I've got to have intercourse. That's what sex, because of that patriarchal, religious repression. But sex, and we think about it as foreplay and sex and it's like, but wait a minute, if we had matriarchal pleasure, if we were female focused on pleasure, we'd go at the timeframe of the female body.
We're currently thinking there's something wrong with us as women because we're not always horny, initiating sex coming within two to three minutes, all the stuff that men's bodies do, and we don't ever see any images of that in pornography or the media. All we see is men's arousal pattern and we think there's something wrong with us. And so what I really like to explain is that, if you think about libido, desire and arousal, libido- is your health.
If you're not healthy, you don't have a libido. The minute you start feeling like, oh, sex is maybe something I could be interested in, your health is returning. Desire is the emotional body. How do you feel about yourself? With all the issues so many people struggle with around self-worth, around body image, around trauma, no wonder desire is suppressed. And then, how do you feel about your partner? Are they satisfying you outside the bedroom?
Because it's very hard to feel connected in the bedroom if you are frustrated outside the bedroom. For most people they have a hard time bifurcating that. And then arousal is men. They get nighttime erections, they wake up with morning wood. They are naturally testosterone dominant, they're very goal oriented and they have fast acting hemodynamics, which is blood flow. The blood flow needs to go into their penis very quickly, into the spongy tissue chambers.
And if I took the spongy tissue chambers out of a penis and put it on my hand, it would cover my hand. It's all sponge in there and the blood needs to flow in and push the smooth muscle tissue to lock off and hold the blood in there and hold that firm erection. Well, we women have the same amount of erectile tissue in our vulva. We have three sponges, just like our male-bodied partners do. They have two corpus cavernosum and one corpus spongiosum.
We have a clitoral, urethral and perineal sponge that wraps around our vagina. The tip of the clitoris goes into a shaft, goes into two arms, goes into two bulbous legs, if you will. Our urethral sponge, which is called a spot, a G-spot, it's not a spot. Our urethral sponge, which is called a spot, a G spot, it's not a spot, it's a long tube of tissue and a perineal sponge on the bottom of the floor of our vagina.
So we're literally wrapped in erectile tissue, but we're estrogen dominant, which means we're the prey, not the predator, which means we don't feel safe. So things need to be really safe for us to let down, get out of our head and into our body. We need time for that. We need to be soothed because we are running, scared and multitasking as estrogen dominant women.
It's just how we all are.
And we have all these nooks and crannies that our erectile tissue goes into and it doesn't lock off like the penis. So it seeps into all of that tissue but if we're stressed out the seeping doesn't work and we don't get full erectile function as women. And often what's happened for women is, if they're in a relationship with their partner, their partner's pissed at them because they never initiate. They have to feel like they have to do all the work.
Then they feel rejected, then they're in victimhood. She feels guilty because she doesn't want sex. She's responsive rather than spontaneous. You've heard these words. I'm sure many people have now and she is always worrying about everything. That's just natural for women. We have our eye on a lot of. We're very multitasking and so we're not calmed down.
And we need to get calmed down and in our body, for the blood to actually flow, for our tears to let down, for our mouth to get moist and saliva to run, for our breasts to let down, we need hissing, we need breast play, we need outer touch, not just penetration. And because we've been rushing ourselves, we think there's something wrong with our libido, when there's not a damn thing wrong with it other than we haven't been made love to the way we, as female-bodied people need.
And so, even though I have 20 years of confident sexual maturation and skills mad skills I can come 20 different ways. I've done everything and anything. I'm very comfortable with it all. I am an experimenter, I am a sexual biohacker. I have really kept my genitals in fantastic working order. Even now I have to say to myself okay, well, I'm getting a yoni massage for my husband. I'm completely relaxed. Oh, is it taking me too long?
No, girl, just let her get turned on my yoni, which is a tantric lovemaking word for our entire female genital system. I like it better than vulva, which is the outsider, vagina, which is just the inside. We've got all this tissue we need to account for and the spiritual connection to that tissue as well, the seat of our power. And so I just have to sometimes tell myself hey, just give yourself the time, you'll get she always gets there what she need. Tell your husband what she's telling you.
He accommodates, he knows, he's not in a rush, he's patient, he won't even have a quickie with me. He's like no, you know, you know you're going to get mad at me. She'll get a little chip on her shoulder If I do that. I'm not having quickies with you. No, no. So you have to learn to slow down.
When guys say to me what's the number one sex trick, I say slow down, turn around, come back and get us and do the heavy lifting to help us get turned on, because once we're turned on, we can really go and go and go and go. And we don't want you to shut us down for that either, by the way, right.
I do have some male listeners here as well and those who identify as. How can we support both sides here? Because obviously, you know, I'm listening to you and I'm thinking there are times when men, and mostly they're going to come faster. And so how do you create this dance where you are pulling back a little bit and creating that beautiful dance communication, that intimate communication, to where it becomes pleasurable for both?
So first thing is that if a guy feels like he comes too fast, he can learn a technique that I teach called the me breath. I teach this with Jim Benson and the me breath is an ancient Taoist strategy for gassing and breaking your urge to ejaculate so that you can last as long as she wants you to, as long as she is enjoying herself, and it's called getting ejaculatory choice, the me breath. And if you go to tuningforktipcom, that will explain what the me breath is and the tuning fork.
Analogy is that when you can get in your turn on instead of holding back because you're worried about ejaculating too soon, when you can show her your turn on instead of holding back because you're worried about ejaculating too soon, when you can show her your turn on and excitement instead of just doing her, you're actually being with her. There's that interplay. Then it's like you, your tuning fork put up next to her, your turn on will resonate and turn her on.
So many guys are like strategizing in their heads instead of being in their hearts and in their penis.
Well, we'll add that link to the notes of this podcast episode, definitely. I know we have a lot of things we're going to be adding to the notes of this podcast, specifically just talking about how can we elevate that arousal to create the connection, and I know you have these three points that you want to talk about. So we want to go back to that. Yeah, well, we can circle back to that.
Yeah, I'll just answer the rest of the this question and then we can go back. Great, the thing to do is to stop thinking about sex as intercourse and to think about sex as intimate pleasure. Yeah, so, holding each other full body massage, having some connection and conversation to get things off your chest, yoni massage, lingam massage, oral pleasuring and intercourse, integrating toys, maybe a vibrating penis ring or a little vibrator while you're penetrating her, or whatever it might be.
Lots of kissing, lots of breast play, lots of touch, because what you're trying to do is generate her letdown, but also co-create a lot of oxytocin, because the oxytocin is the counter to cortisol, the stress hormone. That's right. And so when you have orgasms, you're getting this big charge of oxygen to your brain. You're getting a vascular event, you're getting mood improvement, you're balancing the cortisol.
You're even promoting immune support, like natural killer cells and IgA and T cells and endorphins that get rid of pain and the semen. If you're in a pair bonded couple and you're ejaculating inside her, she's getting spermidine and testosterone and serotonin and luteinizing hormone and all. I mean we are very symbiotic. Plus, you're getting strength and stamina and flexibility and all these I mean we go to yoga. How about some doggy style? That's some good downward dog right there right.
Well, my question would be for those who might be a little uncomfortable with this conversation. You know there, there might be listeners out there that are like this is not in my game, looking around, like, is anyone listening to me, listening to this? And we hear you. I mean, I know you're out there and that's okay too. How do we find that comfort, or how do you take that first step to experiment, to play, to try something outside of what's your comfort zone?
Yeah, perfect. Well, the first thing is that what I have found with people is that the large majority, large majority of people, when they hear me speak, they're like, oh whoa, she's so comfortable talking about this stuff. And that's just because I do it regularly, and it becomes comfortable when you do it. Sex is a mastery skill, just like cooking. The more you cook, the better your food tastes. It's exactly the same. And so you hearing me now, you can handle it.
You're a grownup, this is big person. Talk, you can handle it. I haven't said anything that is, you know, like weird or what have you. It's like this is what we do, so we should be able to talk about it. And that brings me back to the three things. See if we segue well done, Hilary so there's three legs of the set, the fantastic sex life that keeps getting better. Three legs of that platform. One is communication skills. Do you know what you want? Can you ask for it?
Does your partner love to hear what you want? Can you talk about fantasies? Can you tell them what is hot about them? Can you hear them tell you what's hot about you? Are you comfortable moaning and making sounds and giving feedback in the bedroom? If you're not comfortable with any of those things, you could just learn how to do them. Practice makes perfect. Try it three times. It's very easy. I'll give you a book. Dirtytalkbookcom is my book. That is how to Talk Dirty Without Feeling Weird.
It is five techniques that bring worship, adoration, pleasure and communication into the bedroom in ways that are not yucky but are really hot. Love that, and that's very important. And then the second leg of the stool is technique 20 kinds of orgasms, Susan. How did you do that? How could there be 20 kinds of? I mean 20 kinds of orgasms, Susan. How did you do that? How could there be 20 kinds of? I mean? I've heard of like clitoral and vaginal and things like that. What are you even taught?
This is where you can just keep learning and learning and learning and expanding your techniques, and the best thing that I can tell you about techniques is to develop a sex life bucket list. If you are lucky enough to have a partner, if you go to sexlifebucketlistcom that's another resource. I give you a PDF you can print out and then I do a little 40 minute video.
And this is your first erotic play date are 48 erotic playdates that I walk you through each one in the video, so you can just pop open your laptop or your phone in bed, have your printouts, walk through it with me and then mark them a, b or c. Oh, that is definitely going on my bucket list. I want to find my G spot or whatever it might be Right, yeah, and B is well.
It wouldn't be for me, but if you want to become a multi-orgasmic man, I want to support you in having full body energy orgasms so you have ejaculatory choice and can last as long as you want. That sounds great.
Yeah, and this is something you can even do with your partner in bed sitting there with your laptop open and then the laptop goes flying off the bed because you're putting things into action. Exactly Right Idea into action. Okay, love that.
And then your C. You mark some of them as Cs, which is it's not for me right now, but never say never. And nothing on the sex life bucket list is yucky, it's not going to make you feel weird and what it gives you is these 48 ideas. And then you take your A's and your partner's A's and you merge them together and then instead of like, well, I know I need to have sex, we should schedule sex.
You're like oh, we're going to try that new Pulse Queen Yoni vibrator while you give me a Yoni massage and see how that feels and see if we can get me to full engorgement, like Susan Bratton talked about. And then we'll have intercourse and we'll do like a split test and I'll tell you is it better? Did I have a better orgasm? Did I finally have an orgasm from intercourse? Because we did that thing.
And so it's a way for you to kind of start to think about developing that new relationship energy in the bedroom again, because no matter how long you've been together, you can always have a renaissance in your relationship and you can have many of them over the years. You might fall off or have some problems, and then you come back together and it's better than ever. So I think the techniques are very important and that's what the sex life bucket list is kind of about.
It's like how do you learn? What do you want to learn next, so that your sex life can keep getting better? And then the third leg of that platform is essentially this sex ban idea of ageless sexuality. So, okay, I'm in my 50s. I feel like maybe my clitoris has atrophied a little bit. I'm having a little bit more of a struggle achieving an orgasm. I noticed that there's some vaginal laxity. I'm starting to feel like a little incontinence. I don't know, it just seems like my genitals raging.
My husband I noticed that not only is he not as firm as he used to be, it takes him a lot longer to get hard and then he struggles to maintain an erection and, honestly, it looks like he's gotten smaller, like his penis is shrinking. What can we do about that? And that's where you get into the regenerative therapies like Gaines Wave. I'm a spokesperson for them.
I like to talk about them because it's a treatment you go in and get done that uses this acoustic wave little wand over the genital erectile tissue and that stimulates new tissue growth and it basically reverses the atrophy of aging. If you keep your genitals in good order or do regenerative therapy to them, you learn new techniques and you work on your communication skills.
This is how you go the distance with your sex span those three things, and this is so important because in this day and age, fortunately, as women get older especially, we start or women do start questioning themselves or sexuality. Am I still going to be able to do this? Is my body still in good working order?
Even though they say that we reach our prime later, there's a point where it's like my body's changing, my mind's changing, and you know we talk a lot about longevity in this day and age as well, but we're not really talking about the sexual longevity. So I love that you're touching on that. That's what I talk about. That's what I love that you're talking about Cause we don't hear a lot about that. And it's all working together, this beautiful vehicle of ours, so that's wonderful.
Can we talk about the one product that I know that you want to share with my audience, which could really up the game?
Yes, so many women deal with loss of internal lubrication in the vaginal canal and that's estrogen decline, it's loss of nitric oxide production and it's also being rushed to sex. They have melts which are little inserts that are made of cocoa butter and CBD. You can buy non-CBD. There are a few people who are like I don't want CBD for one reason or another.
You can buy these from Foria.
Everything that I'm saying also comes CBD free, but I love the CBD. It's phytocannabinoids that trigger our body's endocannabinoid system to create that mind yoni connection the pleasure healing pathway of our own endocannabinoid system. We have endocannabinoid receptors in the vulva and they trigger pleasure. So it's like a kickstart to your sensation and the melts melt inside the vagina and cocoa butter is full of oleic acid, which is what your good vaginal bacteria want to eat.
It's very healthy and it coats the tissue in a way where it's hard to get lube up inside you. So this is a way to get the cocoa butter and the CBD and the botanicals up inside you. They even have relief melts for women who are very, very dry from menopause and just need more moisture. And then the outside outside, you rub on what their product called Awaken Arousal Oil.
It's not a lube, it's an arousal oil that uses botanicals and CBD and MCT oil, which comes from coconuts, but it's not coconut oil. Coconut oil creates proteins and little sticky things and it can be disruptive to the vaginal microbiome because it's naturally antibacterial. Mct oil is refined and doesn't have any negative properties. It's positive. It's actually the ketones for your brain.
So the Awaken you just put a couple drops on and you or your partner can rub them on the outer vulva, on the clitoral shaft and tip, and that starts sending signals to your brain oh, oh, okay, oh, I'm feeling it, that's nice. And then their sex oil is on top of everything, all the slide and glide that you want. Do you have to use all three? No, is it a ritual that becomes very sensual for couples? Yes, and so I recommend the pleasure protocol, the three things used together every time.
No, you don't have to use it, but try it together. It's the bomb. And the thing that I don't like, I cannot. This is not a sexual lubricant, sexual. This is sex oil melts and awaken arousal oil. And the thing to understand about sexual lubricants is that they are an FDA class two managed product, and so they must have preservatives in them, which is why I do not like them, because I don't want to put sodium benzoate on my vagina, because it's mucus membrane. It's the same as your mouth.
If I wouldn't put in my mouth, if I wouldn't put KY put in my mouth, if I wouldn't put ky jelly in my mouth, why would I put it on my vulva? I would never, and so what I like about the pleasure protocol is that it's three beautiful, clean products that work together, create a ritual, calm and soothe you, awaken your arousal and when you spend the time having your partner put something on you like that, it just allows you to kind of like ease into connection and loving.
Yeah, I love that the difference between that and someone just like spitting or something.
Smooth it on you right, Smother it.
That's disgusting.
And I love that you call it a ritual, like you're creating a ritual that sounds so beautiful. In that, just in that, it sounds like a process that you're connecting and communicating. So I know that those of you tuning in are going how do I get my hands on this product? So we are going to put a link to that the for you in the notes of this podcast episode. Grab yourself some. Susan is generously sending me some.
Yeah, I'm very excited to incorporate it, because create those new rituals with your partner. You know, experiment with yourself first. You know everything starts with self. It's the self love first. So love this, Susan. You've shared so much great content here and I do want to mention one thing, folks, we have not said. Susan calls herself the orgasmonaut. You love that.
You're so cute.
I just had to throw that out there. So you're learning from like a NASA inspired, she's the orgasminaut for you, in addition to being the intimacy expert to millions. But if you are looking for some way to amp things up and I don't just mean like I don't want to make it sound less this is a beautiful process. We are meant to connect.
We are human creatures, we are meant to connect and you shared so much unbelievable information to create that pleasure potential, that orgasmic pleasure potential, and you know some people who might have been through traumatic experiences where they struggle with that. It's really creating, like you said, it's a safe space first. It's always creating that safe space.
So I want to make sure that folks know it's all about creating a safe space first in your partnership, in your own life, and know that there are tools and there are people that can help you with that. So thanks for being a big part of that. Susan, we're going to do some rapid fire here. Orgasminaut, I'm ready, okay, you're ready. I'm going to throw out a word. I'm ready, okay, you're ready. I'm going to throw out a word, first word that comes to mind, bring it on back.
It's just rapid fire, word association and boy, oh boy. I am so curious to see what you're going to come back with. This might be the most fun rapid fire I've ever done. You ready, yeah, okay, here we go Orgasmic.
Buffet.
Libido.
Desire and arousal All right. Sex ban, hot sex till the day you die.
Pleasure. It is impossible for you to come up with one word, isn't it? Yes, pleasure, yes, oh. Your word back is yes. Oh, my God, you're hilarious. Intimacy, slow Desire.
Being held.
Oh, I felt that Safety Warm candlelight, okay, orgasminaut.
Silver, lame.
Silver. Oh, that's right If you're just tuning in. Susan had actually told me that that is part of your costume.
Like my little costume. Yeah, I wear a little space costume, yeah.
I love it. That's, I'm like envisioning that right now, and it's, it's giving me. It's giving me giggles. I love it. Okay, last word, I don't know if I said this um sex Love. Yeah, it always comes back to love, right? So wait?
final word love.
It always comes back to love, right? So wait, final word love. What's the final word? Expansion. Oh, there's always room for more, right? Always, Always. Susan, I love this. This is so great. I want to give you a moment to share a final thought with those tuning into HIListically Speaking.
Yeah, we've covered a lot of ground and you might be thinking to yourself I don't even know where to start. I've given you the big picture, the 10,000 foot view of you know. It's learning to communicate.
It's learning pleasure skills and thinking about your sex life as something that benefits your longevity and your happiness throughout your life, and that it's less about something that you have to do and more about something that is not only good for you and healing and nurturing and calming, but it's also something that will bring you pleasure over time for the rest of your life. So where to start?
I'd say, of all the things that I've talked about, the sex life bucket list, just printing that out and looking at it yourself and saying where do I want to go? Sexuality is so vast. What's right for you right now? Is that yoni massage sounding good? Is it the embrace? Is it sex positions? Is it oral pleasuring? Would you like to try some toys?
You'll know when you do your bucket list what it is, where you are, maybe the next steps on your own journey, in your own not only sexual maturation, but sexual emancipation from all of the repression that you've grown up under that's affected you in so many ways, to take back your pleasure as your birthright? Yeah, and one of the most important things in this life, in addition to the love of family and friends. Art and music and nature, these are the gifts of our humanity.
And your art and music and nature, these are the gifts of our humanity, and your sexuality is one of them. Don't let people take it from you. Take it back step by step.
Yeah, it's choice. Love that Absolutely beautiful bucket list. We're gonna put all this in the podcast notes, Susan, such a pleasure to have you here. Thank you, Hilary. I, uh and I'm putting emphasis on the word pleasure, yeah, this is juicy, my friends. So much that we shared with you during this episode, with Susan Bratton, from her books to her bucket list, and even giving you some extra products to try. So make sure you check out those links that are in the notes of this podcast episode.
If you are looking to elevate your intimacy, we can all be orgasminauts if we want to, right. And if you know someone who might find this episode a must have which I imagine is just about everyone Go ahead and pay it forward, share it, pass it along. Don't forget to leave a rating and review. And look, you might want to reference back to this episode at some time, so consider downloading it as well, so it's right there when you need it most.
HIListically, Speaking is edited by Two Market Media, with music by Lipbone Redding and, of course, supported by you. So thank you On that note. Thank you for putting yourself first, for choosing to hug it out with yourself day after day, so that you can enjoy the best things in life, including those intimate moments that start between the sheets. I love you, I believe in you and I'm sending hugs your way, be well.