when we lose a pet, we're not only our hearts aren't only shattered, but our routines are shattered and there's a lot of reconstruction that has to begin all right.
My friends, I feel like I owe it to you to do this episode. I've been thinking about it for a while, mainly because many of you have asked how I've been doing over the last six months since I lost Miss Eliza Doolittle, my baby girl, my little fur baby. And sometimes it feels like yesterday and I have to admit I am a hot mess, feeling my feels, wondering where that sweet little heartbeat is that filled this home.
And then other days I feel like she's here, I feel her all around me and it's a good day for a good day. And that's pretty much how it is. When we are losing something that we love, we go on with our lives, we continue, but still we hold space for them right. And then the universe shows up again and again and brings you the right people to support you on the journey, to help you along and to say I got you, and that's Erica.
So, ms Erica Messer, you are a board certified pet bereavement specialist and coach. You help people navigate their grief through the power of art, through the power of music. I love this and you're capturing that true spirit of our fur babies to help us heal. This couldn't come at a better time, and this connection is one that I really am grateful for, so I'm so elated to have you here. Thanks for joining me.
Thank you for having me and thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable about your relationship with Miss Eliza Doolittle and how you're feeling. I think that's such an important thing that we all can do, can choose to do.
Yeah, definitely, and I think about this and I always wonder what brings people to do the work they do. Now, obviously, you're a trained harpist, you're a musician, you are an artist, because as a harpist, you're an artist as well, and we dive into these things many times because something about our own pain becomes our purpose, right? Much like this podcast is about turning the traumas into triumphs, so I'm really curious about your own pain becomes our purpose, right?
Much like this podcast is about turning the traumas into triumphs, so I'm really curious about your own story, how Wolfie's came about, and I just want to give you the space to share.
Well, thank you. Wolfie's came out of a big surprise. I lost my beloved COVID companion, little weirdo Wolfgang, just one day like that. Yeah, I wasn't prepared. He was only a year and a half old. So you know, in my perfect brain, like my life, I thought, oh, we're going to be like 20 years together, I'm going to harness, train you, and then boom, he's gone.
And so not only was I dealing with the trauma of it, but then then the, the day-to-day changes, like he's just not there when I wake up in the morning and I don't have to feed him. And so when we lose a pet, we're not only our hearts aren't only shattered, but our routines are shattered and there's a lot of reconstruction that has to begin, especially if we have to choose to end their life.
Then they've got guilt sandwich served hot, and I really didn't know, I wasn't prepared and I'd never gone through such an excruciating loss. We had a special bond because I got him during the pandemic. So, as many people did, he became a best friend. I talked to him. He didn't talk back. I want to make that clear. And I would talk to my mom every day and say you know, I don't really have the capacity to read a book, mom, and I don't really know what to do.
And you know, I don't really have the capacity to read a book, mom, and I don't really know what to do. And I don't, I don't know if I'm going to be okay. And you know, I was actually in a foreign country. I was in Germany when this happened and I didn't have a really close network at the time. So, Hilary, I was really forced to just sit in my grief and ask myself how do I get out of this hole? I have fallen into a hole. I don't have a map, I don't have a ladder. I've got to find my way out.
Okay, let's go. And I have to say I like challenges. I didn't like this challenge, but I do generally like challenges and I'm pretty determined and stubborn to find a way out. So I was sharing with my mom these little nudges I was getting every day to just lift me up one more level, such as writing this seven or eight page love letter to Wolfgang, because I was terrified I was going to forget that he would chew on my pen caps and we would play fetch with them.
And I was terrified I was going to forget the Christmas morning, the one Christmas morning that we had, where I gave him a stocking and he just killed it in excellent fashion of just getting everything out of there and rolling around and being a weirdo, you know, and I have that on video. So this letter let me laugh and cry and be full of hope and just lit my heart on fire and I put it away and I went mom, this feels so good. I've documented our relationship.
It was real, I wrote down what was special and it was cathartic, and I know that I can read that anytime I need to. And therefore, I can let go of some of the grief, I can let some of that steam off.
Yeah, that's a big part of the healing journey, right, it's just being able to get it out, get it off your chest, but also know that you've created something that's there when you need it.
Yes, yes, a resource. It became my own resource. It was a tool and then a resource. Own resource, it was a tool and then a resource. So, as I shared with her these practices or activities, she encouraged me to make an affirmation card deck because I told her I was looking for one. I love those things. They're like inspirational and you have something to focus on for the day. And I told her no three times. I said, mom, I'm grieving, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.
My mom, bonnie, she's pretty amazing. She just kept hearing, she just kept with her message. She convinced me to write them down and that became our first product. Here we are with books and guided journals and a podcast and just go to the website. It's easier than me listing it off.
Oh, we'll definitely share that. Yeah, we'll share all the information on Wolfie's and everything that you're doing and we'll get into that as well. But just being able to. You know you think about something like this and look for me, I had Eliza for 19 years. That's building a relationship. I always say I never shared a heartbeat with anything longer. I never traveled more miles than with anything longer. It doesn't take long to create that bond.
You are sharing the journey of an animal, your baby and when we don't have children especially, they become our children with a being that hasn't even been part of your life for more than a year or two. Yet it was such a tight bond. Why do you think that occurred?
Yeah, that's something that I had to ask myself, because I think, like a lot of people, I had an internal tape playing of Erica it's just a cat. Get it together, Erica. Why are you falling apart? You got to suck it up, you got to push through this. Get to these places where I was trying to mentally just write everything, but I couldn't.
I couldn't put the pieces together, I couldn't just snap out of it and I went wow, this is really ruining me, why, why, oh, okay, well, he had eye herpes as a kitten and I nursed him right, nobody could take care of him. He was on a farm, and just all of these little things really solidified our friendship. From day one, day one, we were besties, and I think that we are so fortunate as humans to have bonds with animals. I think it's one of the most precious gifts we have.
People are important, I get it, though I'm not trying to say that but the animals that are domesticated, that we can bring into our homes and our lives, is like nothing else, and so it could have been any animal. I could have gotten him from the shelter, and people use this term now called soul, pet, soul mate, soul cat, soul dog, and if you have that, a little bell goes off as soon as somebody says it. And someone had said it to me and I went, oh, that's what he was.
Because I couldn't really identify why this was different. I've had cats and dogs and this was just different, and so I had to unravel that, to look at myself. But, hilary, I was asking myself have I lost my mind? Am I overreacting because I have mental health issues? Is there a reason why? Because clearly everyone doesn't feel this way.
And so I sought professional help and I said look, I think that you know I'm not okay due to X, y and Z. And my counselor said actually, welcome to the party, you are not alone and you're not crazy, and you're not that special, in a very nice gentle way. But that was the hit that I really needed to have, to hear what my mom was saying.
Because I called her and I said mom, I just found out I'm not crazy and a lot of people feel this bad and we hide it, as I've never met anybody that is as broken as I am right now. So what the heck is going on. And that was the linchpin, the turning point for me to say that's not okay, I'm going to do something about this.
Yeah, and honestly, the add the element of being in COVID during COVID, where we're longing for connection. And here you are also in a foreign country right, you're living in a foreign country and I can imagine that would even elevate that, that connection with Wolfie to just have something to share time with and space with, especially when we were so disconnected in many ways. Yeah, and you lost him. Was it still the? Was it still COVID when you lost Wolfie?
It was October 2021. So the world was doing the like clamshell thing where things open and then close immediately.
So it was like Swiss cheese Mess with my emotions. Yeah, it was like a.
Swiss cheese life where you're like, oh nope, got to go. So yeah, we hadn't really gotten back to normal yet you know or the new normal and so, yeah, I hadn't made a lot of human connections because of that in the foreign country and I definitely think that played a part in our, in my needing him and needing that kind of relationship. And no, I don't have kids.
So I think even if I did have kids, I would treat my pets like kids, because that's just who I am, you know, and that's debatable and it doesn't even matter. What matters is that we have a connection with animals and that needs to be validated and it's a bond that should be cherished and recognized. Without explanation. I don't mind explaining, because I had to undo it to satisfy my own curiosity, but I don't want everyone to have to do that.
You know, one thing I really want to touch on that I give you so much credit for is someone working in mental health, the fact that you were able to step up and say, and not so much something's wrong with me, but have an awareness that something wasn't resonating with you correctly, like you felt like something's off. I'm kind of standing in the tension against myself. I need help. Let me work through this, because I love this animal.
But is this because of something that I've been going through with my own mental health journey for so long? So you asked questions and I think that's a really brave thing to do, courageous thing to do, to really step out of yourself for a moment and take a look back and then also say you know what? Maybe I need support from someone who can mirror back at me when I'm not seeing myself in the moment.
Yeah, that's a practice that I do. On a personal level. I'm just highly introspective and a conscientious person and because I had, so I had, I've had, I have 16 years clean and sober and I want to keep that. And I wasn't. When I lost Wolfgang, I wasn't worried about drinking or using, but I was worried about the mental state I was in that might lead to that or just whoa, I'm way off of my balance plate right now and what's next? I don't know, I can't predict anything anymore.
Um, and so that's when I really reached out and said I've got to have somebody bouncing back to me some professional wisdom. And, to be honest, I went to a, just a regular LMFT, and there was no, there was no connection there, she wasn't getting it. And I said, okay, okay, this isn't, this isn't the answers that I needed. This is I'm not feeling like we're going to get anywhere.
So then I sought out I wonder if there's a pet loss counselor, because my stepmother needed a bereavement coach when she lost her mom. So it kind of came out of the woodwork and I went well, if that exists, then there's got to be somebody for pets. So Google, google, google, google, google. Okay, here's, here's some people Okay, I'll reach out. And you know that takes a lot of courage to reach out to someone in a profession you didn't know existed.
When you're completely broken mess to say can you help me? And to my relief they did. And the first thing is just to validate that I haven't lost my mind and I am going to be okay if I do the work and acknowledge the loss and there is a way out. Yeah, well, that's brave and beautiful. There is a way out.
Yeah, Well, that's brave and beautiful. Congratulations on being sober. I imagine just having a pet around too and something to love and nurture also provides that really positive distraction to be able to know that you're nurturing and loving something that loves you back unconditionally.
Absolutely, absolutely. I now have three cats, so at any given time at least one is going to be wanting to hang out. The odds are higher now, and they're wonderful. They fill my heart with so much joy, as pets do they do? They're just so present little spiritual beings.
And that actually would be my next question. You know, when I lost Eliza, it was so soon after that people are like, oh, you'll get another pet soon, oh you'll, you'll fill your home soon, it won't take long. And of course, there's that feeling like, first of all, not ready. And in this, in this day, as we have this conversation, still not ready. And it's not because I'm well. We're always grieving in some way.
But there's a point, there's a part of my life where I'm like you know what this is, giving me a chance to have a little breather too before I welcome something else into my life. And she's still here, you know, I feel that. So I'm curious for yourself how long after Wolfie passed did you find yourself bringing more life into your home?
Yeah, for me that perfect number was three months, which is pretty short, and this is a hot topic. This gets asked a lot and you're exactly right that our friends and family think that by saying you can just get another one is helpful to us, when it really diminishes the relationship that we had with that animal we've lost.
You would never say to someone just get another dad or brother or child, so we can't do the same thing with a pet, and 30% of the population don't have pets, so there's no way they're going to understand what we're going through, and that's okay too.
But it's time we stand up for ourselves and say I really appreciate your support, but right now I need X, y, z. Okay, but to go back to your question, three months was right for me and I have a very supportive and loving husband who said you can never replace Wolfgang and I don't recommend us adopting a cat that looks anything like him. Should you start to project you know or expect things from him or her? So we adopted two Turkish cats from a shelter, millie and Vanille.
Unfortunately they don't sing at all, but well, neither did Millie Vanille. Yeah, well, they did take voice lessons. They were just. They were just uh, not as good as the band that really recorded Okay.
I saw that documentary, yeah, the voice lessons. It was great. It was hard to watch, yeah.
Yeah, it was hard to watch, but a great movie. So for me that was right, and what I knew for myself was that I was at a place where I could open my heart to both give and receive love. When an individual is at that point and there's no timeline on it, that's when you're ready.
Yeah, yeah, it's different for every person. Yeah.
Those animals deserve all the love that we can give and the capacity that we can give them, because they're going to give it to us no matter what. But they deserve it back.
And if we're holding back because we're afraid our heart's going to get broken or it's not quite healed, it's not the best choice, and that happens and yeah, and it's great that we can just when we're able to have these open conversations about pet loss and grief, and it's really in many ways. For many, it's no different than when we lose just anyone or or something that means something to us.
A loss is a loss, a loss is a death, a loss is grief, and we each deal with it in our own ways, but we go through the stages. But my thought is going back to what you're saying about how it's different for each person. I love there's one thing that you talk about when I ask you if there's something that you really want to cover.
This is a topic that I am not familiar with and I haven't really even thought about, but that's that whole idea of businesses really stepping up their game and offering support to even bereavement that has to do with a pet. We think about it with family. Sometimes it's even hard to get that. Where is your thought on this and how much of your energy is really being put towards this? As far as petitioning for this, oh, you got me so excited.
My lifelong goal was to see pet bereavement leave be accessible or at least discussed and on the table. And due to my colleague, Erica Sinner, who I was introduced to in March of 2024, we combined forces.
She comes from the executive CEO side of running Directory, which is an empathy-driven company, and she advocates empathy-driven leadership, and decided to instill pet bereavement leave in her own company after her own experience, where she took six weeks off as the CEO and thought, if I need this, oh, my goodness, what do my employees need? So we have a great synergy and started a pet bereavement leave petition.
It's just under 2,000 signatures now, in just six months, and it's a great vehicle to have this conversation, where I want to see not only just the entire pet industry from the dog walkers and the veterinarians and all of the support that we need around the pet, support a pet parent but also down to the aftercare facilities so that we're all working together.
Because when we do that and we support the parents and not just the animal, then people are able to grieve more openly and in a more helpful manner so that they can open their hearts up again to another pet and getting that pet out of a shelter. So there's this big chain of the. What I look at is that, the pet economy. But if you go one sphere out of that to just general employment, right and recognizing, you know, Erica, I don't have. Or Hilary, I don't have a pet, but I understand.
You know what, Erica, I don't have. Or Hilary, I don't have a pet, but I understand.
You know what you're going through is difficult and I'm going to give you a day off, hopefully more, but a day off because we want to support you and Erica has educated me, Erica Sinner, on how this helps with talent retention in companies, with employee productivity, because I can imagine, you know, I'm luckily self-employed, but having to go in to work for someone and pretend everything's okay, it's got to be one of the most painful and excruciating experiences that one can go
through, whether it's the loss of a human or a pet. So I think this is just a great big wave of change that's coming a lot sooner than I thought, and so that pet parents can be acknowledged and supported by several people, by their company, by their pet subscription food company, their veterinarian, their neighbor, and we can validate this loss, because right now it's called disenfranchised grief. It doesn't really have a place.
It doesn't really have a place to land, and pet owners are questioning themselves, like I was why am I still not okay? Why did I lose interest in all the things that I love?
Yeah.
And just feeling so totally stranded and isolated. And that's why I formed communities for people to come into and be a part of and share and have a place to be open. Because I, you know, I gotta be honest my family didn't understand. My mom did, but the rest of my family and friends they were like Erica, just get another pet and it's gonna be okay, and all those little pat answers we give. And I'm not mad at them and they they were doing what they thought was the right thing to say and do.
But it's also awkward for our extended circles to constantly be worried about us and to ask about something they don't know if it's good to bring it up or do they ignore it.
So to have community where it's just out on the table and people understand is so important, so important, so important, whether it's family, friends or where you work, your environment, just the environment in general it makes me think. I mean, I too work for myself, but just having a support system, like I remember shortly after maybe it was three months after Eliza passed one of my dear friends, deborah, who was going away, who usually has a family member watch her kitty.
She's like, would you want to watch Cider while we go away? And I jumped on that so fast, not as a replacement, but like she knew I loved my cat so much. And then I'm such an animal lover that she gave me the gift of kind of fostering her baby while she was away. And now I get pictures all the time because, like it was like having a, it was so wonderful to just feel the trust right. There's another level there. Like we know this person loves animals so much that she will do that.
We know that our pet's in good hands. You know what I'm saying. So there's so many different levels. We can support people. I do love this petition idea. We'll definitely share that because I imagine, with others who tune into this podcast of HIListically Speaking, we've done a couple episodes on pet loss, obviously when I first lost Eliza and then I did another episode.
We'll put both those episodes in the podcast notes as well from the voices of those of you who tune in and watch week after week, and I'm so thankful for that because it helped me in my community realize that I could reach out to just those who tune in all the time to this show. So I thank you for that, Erica. I thank you for that, and hopefully this petition will be something that gets some more signatures, just from the kind of people I know that tune into this show.
I do want to talk more about Wolfie's. I know that you also spent some time illustrating some books the Tales of Spirit Pets, tales of Spirit Cats, and then also you recently released Maybe I'm Normal 10 Things I Wish I Knew About Pet Loss. We could have all used that. I know I could have. But when it comes to Wolfie's, you have a lot of things, a lot of irons on the fire with this one, and I'm curious about that because you also have a deck. You have products.
What exactly is Wolfie's sharing with the world?
Yeah, Wolfie's. Well, first of all, my mom named it and she said Wolfie's is for all of us to heal our hearts again so we can open up our homes to a new pet. I said well done, mom. Great. I keep one ear open all the time to listen to the people in my community and around the world and at the conferences I go to and around the world and at the conferences I go to. What's needed, what's missing, both from the professional pet side. What do you want to give?
How do you want to show up for your customers, your community, what feels comfortable for you? Do you like this, this and this? And then they say they've said to me no, I want to just send a really nice card, and when I go to the store there's only one and it's got a rainbow on it. Can you make something else? Absolutely so. It's this two way street and it's really exciting for me to be in my support group and say, okay, guys, we're wrapping up today, you know.
Do you want to share any ideas on how you would have liked so and so to show up for you? Was it your veterinarian? Did they handle it well? Can you give me some feedback on how you're feeling and how you were supported and what was missing. So I take all this knowledge and then I just make things and it's so exciting because there's grief is not like treating grief is not a one size fits-fits-all. There's no one-size-fits-all approach.
Some people want to grieve privately, some want to be public, some want to read, some want to listen, and so I try to factor in all these modalities and just keep coming out with new things. But my most precious and proud product are the grieving affirmation cards, and those are those daily practices that are super simple, Hilary. You just pull one card out of this deck and you know, incorporate that into your day.
It takes 30 seconds or 30 minutes, it's your choice, and you can do it in the beginning of the day, the end of the day, in the bathroom. You know when you parked your car and you know my my background with living this one day at a time approach really helped foster the development of that, because I needed something really simple, because I just didn't have the bandwidth or capacity to focus. Um, you know, depression comes up, anxiety, sleeplessness, loss of appetite.
We're dealing, our bodies are processing the grief too, but it's really hard on our brains.
You took some real time and attention into creating these cards.
I did and I did pull upon. You know my history and recovery and the tools that were taught to me about being present and giving space to things and honestly, it's redirecting my thoughts towards positive experiences with Wolfgang. That's really what they all come down to is the grief, the sadness, the loss. We know that's going to be there and I'm not trying to tamp that out in any way.
What I'm trying to do is buoy myself up so that there's some balance to this experience, and so the cards are designed to redirect our thoughts into.
Okay, I may be feeling like this right now, but for just a minute I'm going to practice this other thing and see if I can generate those warm fuzzies in my heart that I had on Saturday mornings, you know, cuddled up on the couch, like let's close my eyes and remember those mornings with Wolfgang, and then this whole energy shift happens when I do that.
And I can always come back to that. Just being able to dive into a moment in time that brought us joy and happiness and peace or whatever that positive emotion is, allows us to go there.
And you know what it gives us permission to go there, because that's another thing about grief is that we feel that in the grief we're not supposed to be happy, we're not supposed to have joy and we're robbing ourselves of something when we feel that in the grief we're not supposed to be happy, we're not supposed to have joy and we're robbing ourselves of something when we do that.
I do want to stop real quick and just mention because you mentioned, the cards you have graciously, and I love this if you use the code and I love that you call it this If you all out there are interested in grabbing this card deck from Wolfie's, Erica has graciously provided a code and if you use Eliza Doolittle, miss Eliza's name you'll save 10% on that card deck. Thank you so much for doing that Just giving her, paying tribute to my sweet thing. So 10% off the card deck if you use eliza.
Do a little, of course. I'll put that in the podcast notes and then with all your information so we can find out more about Wolfie's and what you have to offer. And on that note, I'm curious, you have this alter ego, this other character being a harpist called Heavenly Hannah, where you play the harp and music is healing, as we know. Right, how does that come into play? No pun intended.
So I got into healing harp music on accident. I was just asked to play at memory care facilities and hospital lobbies and then it kind of got my attention on how I've always seen how people respond to music. I tend to do a lot of weddings and you know, when I play pop and rock covers, everyone gets excited. And so you're kind of this magician with people and I really wanted to know well, how does music heal, like, how can I wield this power?
So I studied clinical musicianship and really got down to what, what, what, what, what are, how does this work? And so even just taking a song and playing it really really slowly can relax us playing it really, really slowly, can relax us, and I got to just try this out. So I took that and brought it to Pet Loss, because music has been integral in my whole life and I thought, well, wow, why don't I just like do Healing Heart for Grief?
Because music was tremendously helpful in my grieving journey. So therefore someone's going to like it. And then, you know, I've always everyone associates harps with angels and that's fine. I'm not an angel and yet it just sort of felt right for me to put on that persona as Heavenly Hannah here to heal you for a few minutes. And so I do these live Instagram memorials where we just pay tribute to our animals, we honor them, we just take five minutes to relax, breathe, just be present.
People are on their phones anyway, so I'm doing it on Instagram and I invite everyone to put their pet's name in the comments, because saying our pet's name really validates that they were real and we're honoring them and so fun. Other note is like when you go get coffee or you go get food, to go, use your pet's name.
And Beth Bigler gave me when they write their name on the mug. Yes, they always misspell mine anyway.
Yes, so you know you can try things like that. Beth Bigler told me about that. That's fun. But so, coming back to the memorial, putting their pet's name in there, it's just like, oh yeah, I feel so good to write it out, and so that's just something that's evolved naturally and it's so fun for me to put on that persona. And it's funny. I just got an email today that said Dear Heavenly Hannah, you know, this resort in Napa would like to have you play for this guy's 50th birthday party.
Are you available? And I went wait, they really want me to be an angel or like, sending a generic email to me. I don't think they know my name and so wrote back. I was like I would love to. Are you actually wanting to hire Heavenly Hannah, or do you just want like a regular harpist? And he's like, oh, thanks, yeah, we'll just take the regular harpist right. Okay, good, well, glad, I asked you know.
So I've got to find a way to communicate that that's not all you can, that's not all that's on the menu, but but it's really, really fun.
Especially when Heavenly Hannah is all about paying tribute to those we've lost, and this poor person turning 50.
Yeah, I was like hold on a second. Yeah, I need to work on my branding here and you know, what I hope to do is be able to record videos that you could send to someone as a gift, Hilary, so I would record a message for them and play a song, and that's something I was doing during the pandemic. I called them harpograms, so now I want to tweak that to.
You know, we send a memorial gift to somebody and say, hey, we're thinking about you and here's a song, so that I'll figure out how to do that and get that up and running. But it's just so fun to be creative and you know, make a difference in people's days.
That's the artist way, though that's definitely the artist way. I mean, you talk about how you not only do music or play music, but you painted portraits as well. So, like, the artist lives within you. And now just using words of affirmation now it's the written word, so there's just so many places you can go with it. And just to remind folks Erica Messer is here and we're talking about Wolfie's how to really pay tribute in the.
You know, when we're grieving the loss of our pets we've already done a couple episodes on this and it's just with 70% of people having a life that they share with a pet. I don't even like saying that they own a pet, because really who's owning who, right, but rather we're sharing space with these beautiful satian beings. That doesn't mean the 30% aren't understanding, but at least we can maybe create a space where we're all coming together and realize that they have purpose.
Some cultures consider them spirit guides and other cultures we look at things differently. I think it just depends on who we are and how we're showing up. But there's definitely a space for this and my curiosity is what's next with Wolfie's?
It's continuously evolving and I don't. I have ideas and plans, but I don't. I'd rather keep those cards to my chest just in case they don't happen. But I'm'm I would say I'm a pretty good manifester, so it'll be exciting just keeping your options open, the possibilities, right, yeah, yeah.
And if wolfie could talk, what do you think wolfie would say? Okay, do we translate that?
that's hilarious. He was different, he was special, I think so. So I do some creative visualizations on on wolfgang and try to, you know, channel his energy and and what happens when I do those is he's really just like an old man when I do these and I try to imagine him in his spiritual realm like really, okay, um, I would. I think he would say keep up the good work, kid, you're making me proud.
And all of us up here and in in pet heaven or over the rainbow bridge or in the other dimension or wherever you want to articulate that you know we are, we are ready to be honored and we're ready for humanity to acknowledge this kind of loss. And so I think they're all up there having a great party and doing cart wheels.
When people like yourself are vulnerable about pet loss and Erica Sinner and all of these people, and when you step up and you say this is hard and I need help, they're like yeah, yeah, yeah and and I just can't wait to see, I can't wait to see the change.
You're part of that, and I remember when we had a conversation, our prior conversation. It's the pain to purpose, right. Sometimes we have to go through something to realize that we're being given a gift to open a door or pave a path for the next generation, much like what Brene Brown says is one day your story will be somebody else's survival guide. When we look at it that way, it's so unbelievably. It touches you on a different level, doesn't it?
Yeah, I use her. I have a little nugget of hers, a little soundbite, which is being vulnerable means doing something without knowing the outcome and being brave, and that's that's helped me get to where I am with this up and down pinball game of you know, I really don't have the background for this. I don't have an MBA, I'm not a public speaker. You know, I've had to just go to YouTube a lot. Isn't it great you can learn so many things on YouTube.
And reaching out for the people that are professionals in the areas. When I need to fill in some gaps, right like I hired an accountant, okay, great, but she, yeah, she's an amazing figure and an inspirational leader and a dang brave woman herself well, I think you're quite brave yourself and I think that's just.
It's amazing to see where you are right now, where you're going and how many people you can touch, move and inspire, Like that's. That's the thing right there, and knowing that you've got this little fur baby on your shoulder whispering in your ear good job, kid. I'm trying to sound like an old man. Good job, kid. Good job, he's like really old man.
Good job, kid. Good job he's. He's like really old. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure he was a smoker, I'm pretty sure he's a chain smoker. Cross his legs with a pipe, you know sitting in a chick. Good job, kid, like he's.
Yeah, it's weird creative visualizations with people like you should create a card with the old cat like good job, kid, don't disappoint me.
Done. Thank you for that. I'll send you royalties.
I love it. All right, we're going to play a little game, we're going to have a little fun because in the healing there's always a little humor and I play this game with my guest called Rapid Fire. I'm going to throw out a word that you said during this conversation. I want you to come back with the first word that comes to mind, just one word, like word association. You got it, I think so. One word, one word. Here we go Grief, grief.
Quiet.
Affirmations Change.
Music Healing, replacement Not applicable Petition. Yes, please, harp, soul, Sober, necessary Heavenly sober necessary.
Heavenly, peaceful and wolfy my love.
Yeah, oh, one more thing wish a dream is a wish your heart makes.
Oh, how very Disney of you. Good job, kid. I loved it. That was great, you know. I think that's really just important for us to remember here for those tuning in, that in the healing we always have to create some space for humor. Right, that's part of my hug it out way, it's the hug it out method that we have the humor, we have the understanding for self and we have the gratitude, the H-U-G that we should bring into the everyday.
So I hope that those of you tuning in listening and like what's this one all about? You take something away from this. You are touched, moved and inspired by this in some way. Maybe even pass this along to somebody. Pass this episode along. Let them know that they're heard, they're understood, they're supported, and then we'll share some of Wolfie's in the notes of this podcast.
But I want to give you a moment, Erica, to share some final thoughts, if you want to leave your thoughts yourself with those who are tuning in.
Thank you. Yeah, I would love to add that if you're listening to this because you're a super fan of Hilary and I am, and maybe you don't have a pet or you didn't intend to listen, didn't know this was coming up that you can now have some insight on how to help other people and know that you can make a difference in them by even just saying how can I support you? I don't really know what to do and like.
Let's just have an honest conversation with the people that we care about, and that's my wish and what I would like to let listeners know, and also that you know I appreciate. Well, and then, Hilary, I appreciate you giving me this platform, because there's only so many people in my bubble that I can reach, but it's people like yourself that really get out and spread the word. You know you're doing so much to help this mission. You know there's so many people that can't that I can't reach.
So, and then for your, then for your listeners, bookmark wolfieswishcom so that you know where to go to or send people to when they need it. Just kind of put it in your back pocket and know that there are resources available and there's even a list of bereavement coaches. So nobody has to dig down that rabbit hole and try to find someone they can trust. So it is a really great resource website as well.
Love that. So much good stuff and good content and just, you're never alone in the battle, right? We can always find the support. So thanks for being here. This has been great, really appreciated it. All. Right, my friend, you can learn all about Wolfie's and Erica Messer. Just check out the podcast notes. You'll find the website, wolfieswishcom.
And remember, if you're looking for a really special gift to give someone who is dealing with loss and the grief of their fur baby, I highly recommend you check out those grieving cards that we talked about. You will even get 10% off your purchase if you use the code ELIZADOLITTLE. She's still making a difference in the world and consider passing this episode along. Leave a rating or review a thoughtful response. It can make a difference and help others who are looking for healing as well.
You can do that on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or even if you're watching us on YouTube, anywhere that you can share your thoughts. I greatly appreciate it and, HIListically Speaking, is edited by Two Market Media, with music by Lipbone Redding and, of course, supported by you. So thank you for trusting me and tuning in week after week and just being present.
It doesn't go unnoticed and remember, no matter where you are on your healing journey and if you're just providing a helping hand or a healing hand rather and supporting someone in need, do remember that there's always power in community and you are part of that. That's really the hug it out way. So, on that note, I love you, I believe in you and I'm sending hugs your way. Be well.