It's 2026 and we are officially OLD | Hey Tablo Ep. 1

She's gonna be sixteen soon in May. My daughter, I have a daughter, first of all, which is which is still mind boggling. And that daughter, is gonna celebrate her sweet sixteen this year. That is oh I ca I don't know if I could do this. This truth has hit me hard. Yeah. It's it's only a matter of time until she's like get away from me, Daddy. Daddy, you're standing too close. Daddy, your voice is too loud. You're talking way too much. I can't believe it. To people like me, born in the eighties.

Two thousand twenty six feels like uh one of those back to the future sci fi dates. It still feels like a time where like cars are flying and we're on hoverboards. Two thousand twenty-six is unreal to people like me. To people that are, you know, my daughter's age. It just feels like another year. Oh, it's just two thousand twenty-six, not a big deal. But to me, two thousand twenty-six is like a is like a sci-fi number. It's not real. And that's the year we're in. That is just crazy.

Anyway, this is Hey Tableau, the new podcast from me, Tableau of Epic Eye. You may know me already. I'm assuming some of you do. Uh you may be a fan of Epicai's YouTube show which is Epicase. Uh you may be a fan of my music, Epic High and my solo music, or you may have been a fan of my previous podcast, which was five years ago.

It's already been five years. Anyways, uh I started this podcast because Not because I've nothing to do or or I need a reason to get out of the house. I started this because I feel like a lot of our English speaking fans uh need Something like this. And they've been asking it for a long time.

Um, Tableau, can you do a podcast again? And finally I got around to it. I'm hoping that this podcast can be like an Asian dad that you need. I I have a theory that Regardless of where you're from, uh what age you are, where uh you are in life. Everyone needs an Asian dad. Only one that doesn't scream at you or Compare you to neighbors, kids, or, you know, tell you long stories about how they had to like climb mountains to get get to school. And kids these days it's

Too fragile and then s slap you across the head because you are the only child that has ever been bad at math in this house. Weirdly specific, but Anyways, I feel like this podcast can become that kind of Asian dad. Uh you can come to me once a week, every week, to just Let your mind get off all of your worries and troubles and at the same time get some no bullshit advice uh and sometimes feel like someone's just listening to you.

I I want this to feel like a conversation that I have with you and that you have with me once a week. And hopefully it helps you get through that week.

As I mentioned at the beginning, Kangnam style is 14 years old. It was 14 years ago when that whole sensation happened. Can you believe that? I feel like it was like at the most, maybe seven years ago, but now it's been 14 years. That's just crazy. Do you all remember you listening right now, do you remember where you were when Kongnam Style dropped? When that video went viral as hell?

I remember because I was sitting next to Cy. I was sitting next to the guy who made Kangnam style. And let me just say, he was just as shocked. as anyone else when that song blew up the way it did. Uh he he was beyond shocked because he was hoping for a number one song on Korean charts. because he hadn't had a number one in a while, right? And he was very nervous, which was interesting for me to w see because he's a humbe of mine. He's an older artist.

um, one that I looked up to and was always a hit maker. So i it was strange seeing him nervous. I I was like, that should be doable for you. Like But when it outdid that by like... Ten thousandfold was like number two on Billboard. He was more shocked. So I remember this moment because I was there, but it still feels like it was like maybe seven to eight years ago. But it's been fourteen fucking years that's not. Oh my god. So my daughter was like one at the time. That is crazy.

It it's sort of like um two thousand two World Cup. I don't know if any of you will remember. Uh I'm assuming a lot of you weren't even born then, but in two thousand two at the World Cup Korea beyond all anyone's expectations just dominated. And we got to the final four. At a certain point, it almost felt like we were gonna actually win this thing. We were gonna be holding the World Cup.

in our hands. And it it was an insane time because not not only because people were happy or excited, but because behind that happiness and excitement, There was this feeling of wow, totally unexpected strange things can happen in life. And maybe it can happen in my life too. And I I believe that was the importance of Kangnamstad. It reminded us that sometimes totally unexpected things can happen to people that are underestimated.

And these are just two examples, but when we go through life, sometimes just weird things happen, right? Where it's like, oh my God, that's crazy. And I believe these moments are very important. Just just to remind us from time to time that you can have wild dreams. You can have wild aspirations. Uh most of them won't materialize, but once in a blue moon something will. Okay, that got me thinking. Uh what else is hella old now?

Let me uh let me search this. Hold on. Tell me a bunch of things that are old and or happened long ago, That will make me feel old. Oh urin for a nostalgia punch. Here's a list of things that will absolutely make you realize how far we've come. The first iPhone came out nearly twenty years ago, two thousand seven. That's nineteen years ago. I remember the very first time I saw an iPhone. I was in Tokyo.

and we were looking for a chrome heart store. By we I mean uh this this one guy in my group, uh Tuka He was like, I wanna go to Chrome Hearts. And we were looking for the store and back in those days we had these phones that basically, you know, were text texting devices. Right. And you could access intern the internet, but it was through such a small screen and such uh crappy UI that No one really used it. You know, it was just there.

It was just a possibility that no one tapped into. And we're like, Who how do we find this place? And then this uh friend of ours that was with us, he busts out this metallic device and he's like Let me check. And I'm like what the fuck? What is that thing you're holding? And he's like, This Is the iPhone. They called it the Jesus phone at the time because it was like the savior of phones. Apparently, the the Messiah of phones. So he was like, It's the iPhone. And he said it in that voice too.

He he wasn't like, Oh, it's it's the new iPhone. He was like The eye. And I was like, Oh my god. And he opens up an app and it was like a game. It was a toilet paper game. You all remember this, right? You remember this? You listening right now, you remember this? If you were b born then You know this toilet paper game. The whole point of the game was you just keep tapping down and it's just infinite scroll of toilet paper.

I don't know why we loved it so much. But he showed me that. And he's like, see, you can do this. You can make phone calls with this. And I was like, holy. I was like, so what you're telling me here, it's an iPod that I can call home with? And he's like, yeah.

And then the iPhone came out 19 years ago and everything changed. Anyways, uh I can't believe that it's 19 years. It feels like maybe 13, 14 years. Almost 20 years is crazy. That is just insane. I was a big fan of Steve Jobs though. A lot of people are probably like, oh. I know. I know all the stories. But you know, people are complicated. I don't have to like or admire one hundred percent of a person, right? There are parts of everyone's life that I admire and certain parts that I don't, but

You know, you you can't really pick and choose. You just take the good with the bad. Anyways, I was a huge fan of Steve Jobs. It feels crazy. Like, wait, when did when did his jobs pass away. I remember it was like uh when the iPhone four S or five S came out. iPhone four S because people said that the four S was iPhone four S. It was right after Steve Jobs passed away. He passed away in 2011. So that's so wow. That's 15 years ago.

Oh, he passed away when the when the original iPad was only a year old. iPhones still had home buttons? Wait, what? Oh my god! iPhones had home buttons like clickable, right? Like it made a sound and everything, right? That w no, the fingerprint thing came after. At first I think it was an it was a literal button. I don't know why ChatGPT is saying this, but and Call Me Maybe hadn't even come out yet.

Can you believe this? I asked when did Steve Jobs pass away? And he's like, Steve Jobs passed away on October fifth, twenty eleven. That's almost fifteen years ago now. To put that into perspective, the original iPad was only a year old. iPhone still had home buttons. And Call Me Maybe hadn't even come out yet. Okay.

Speaking of songs that came out a long time ago, if you're a K pop fan, this is gonna hit you hard. Big Bang's first big hit, the song Kojimmar, Lie. Was also nineteen years ago. That is crazy. Nineteen years ago. I didn't even know Big Bang was nineteen. Big Bang still feels like a group that came out maybe at the most 10 years ago. Because they're still so so fresh, right? So when did Bang Bang Bang come out? Hold on. When did Big bangs. BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!CAMON!

Cause kids still listen to this like it's a new song that just dropped like a month ago. And it it sounds that way, right? It sounds super fresh. It came out eleven years ago. Oh my god. I am old as fuck. Wow, that's crazy. And also Born Hater was twelve years ago, our song.

On its side, right? To watch the monitor. And also that's how we assumed people would watch. I'm not kidding. This is how dumb we were. Uh we were like, Okay, people maybe they can just take their Take their laptop and just put it on the side and they can watch it in full screen. And we were like, but that's ridiculous. Hopefully YouTube will implement vertical video.

What's interesting is even on a phone through the YouTube app, you couldn't see vertical videos in vertical. It just played it in landscape with the black on the sides. And then soon after the video came out, at first it wasn't possible, but soon after it came out, uh YouTube implemented it and there was like an article about how Born Hater played a part. And The rest is history. So if you guys enjoy vertical videos, if you enjoy YouTube shorts,

Or any vertical videos, TikTok, Instagram reels, you have me to thank. Me and the Born Hater director. I feel like I should get Something for this. 유튜브 I deserve a little something for this. Uh let's see what else uh happened a long time ago. Oh, TikTok launched a decade ago. Do you remember Vine? Fine was basically TikTok. It created like a new form of meme. And I loved it. That was nine years ago. uh since it's shut down. Let's see what else uh

Do you remember the damn Daniel? Damn Daniel the the meme? That meme is ten years old. Damn Daniel. Damn Daniel's ten years old. Damn. You know when memes are straight up older than some humans? You know you're old. You know when the the the memes that you used to love? are older than like some elementary school kids. You're old as hell. The ice bucket challenge was twelve years ago. I remember doing this. So on a rooftop. But that was eleven years ago. Wow.

That also feels maybe like five, six years ago. Time passes so fast. Frozen, let it go, came out 12 years ago.

Two thousand nineteen was seven years ago. Wow, that is crazy. Despacito was in twenty seventeen. So that's nine years ago? You're listening to this right now and either thinking that Oh my god, that's that was ten years ago? That was fourteen years ago? Or you're thinking That feels like I don't know, I honestly I thought that was like thirty years ago. If you're the latter, then you're just super old. Ha ha ha.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But if you're not shocked by any of this, if none of this is blowing your mind and you're like, well, that sounds about right. Well, that was only nineteen years ago? Feels like it was thirty four years ago. Then you're you're really fucking old. And I gotta say, I'm like right there. I'm like I'm at the cut line, right? I'm like almost there. Hold on, let me take a sip of this unbranded unnamed coffee from this Unbranded mug.

Just letting um all the coffee companies out there know. Oh this could be oh I'm sorry. What the hell was that sound? Uh that came from my body. I'm sorry. Okay. I really said Did did the mic pick that up? Sorry, that's the sound you make your body makes when you hit a certain age. You young people don't know.

You listening right now, you're too young to know. This this is the sound your body makes at a certain age. Anyways, this coffee could be yours. Your coffee. It could be your coffee in this mug. And i it could be your company's logo on this mug. This is the first episode, so we don't have any sponsors. We don't have any ads yet. because we have to get the numbers first and then we can uh we c we can afford to keep doing this.

Please, please share this episode with your friends. Uh Oh, Avengers Endgame was seven years ago. It's already been seven years since Tony Stark snapped away uh Thanos and also the entire Marvel franchise. Oh God, I really hope uh the next uh they're making a new Avengers right now. You know, d Doomsday with Robert Downey Junior playing Doctor Doom. So it's like the the multiverse thing again. Uh Anyways, I guess they realized in the next in the last

seven years that maybe they do need to keep Robert Downey Junior on screen, right? I gotta say it's a it's probably a huge uh risk him taking this role. Because like We all have such fond memories of Tony Stark, that character. He played it so well and it became Um, something just beyond a character. Uh it it became like this huge pop culture moment, right? And him being back in the MCU, you know, it g it can go really bad.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, not even the book, the movie. Is a quarter century ago. Twenty-five years ago. Okay, this this went from being fun to depressing. I don't like when people do this. If it's 25 years, just say 25 years. Don't say that's a quarter century ago. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why are we using these measurements? Why would you say a quarter century ago? Just say twenty-five years. Why are you trying to make us feel bad?

Oh my god, in five years I'm gonna be half a century old. You know one of those um one of the things that that drives me crazy, you know how in Korea if you're like forty three, they say Which means uh two days from now, like the day after tomorrow you're gonna be fifty. And they start this shit the minute you you hit forty one. I swear everyone does it. Even my fans do it. And I'm like That's nine years later. How can you say

The day after tomorrow you're gonna be fifty. Even now, i I heard it all last year. Because our YouTube show we're like uh we're very Haldish at times. People will leave comments like, Can you believe these guys will be fifty the day after tomorrow? No. The day after tomorrow I'm gonna be two days older than I am now. I still have five years until I hit fifty. That's like saying, Oh you know, and the day after that, they're gonna be a hundred. They're gonna be dead

Please just say twenty five years. Don't say a quarter century ago. And it's just Destiny Child's Independent Woman came out more than a quarter century ago.

feel fresh, right? If from a creator's perspective, um, as a person who creates content or creates music. It's great that I have certain songs that I wrote like fifteen years ago that people still love, like it came out yesterday. That's great. But at the same time, uh that also means that things we should remember, like we should not forget, are forgotten within days. And that's how I feel like when I when I think about that. Yes.

Avengers seems fresh. Frozen seems like it was yesterday because we keep seeing the same memes. Um but at the same time things we shouldn't forget, we forget

pretty fast as well. When did social media come out? That was when did Sorry, I should take off this bracelet. This bracelet must be annoying everyone. Hold on, let me take it off. Okay. When did Facebook? Come out. Facebook launched february fourth, two thousand four. Twenty-two years ago. Okay. Wow. That's that's actually a long time. But at the time, not everyone used Facebook, right? Like it was like a it was a very local thing. Like I'm sure you've

seen um the movie social network. It started as a Harvard thing and then expanded to like Stanford to other colleges. So at the time it was still pretty pretty local. Let's see what AI thinks. uh is the starting date of social media, which is ironic because social media basically created this motherfucker. When did social media In your opinion. Great question. It depends on how you define social media. I know, just answer the question.

Okay. Uh the big bang of social media two thousand three to two thousand eight. Okay. So roughly the same time. The mobile and algorithmic age, two thousand nine. So let's say that we've had social media for like twenty years, right? Most people listening, most of your life has been within the social media age. For example, my daughter uh never lived in another in another time, right? But for people like me, who are super old

We're gonna be a hundred two days from now. Um for us we remember a good half of our lives without social media or or even the internet. So when I look back I I I it doesn't even feel real anymore, which is crazy. Because back in those days, if somebody came up to me when I was a kid and was like, At some point they're gonna create this thing and you're gonna be able to hold it in your hand. And any opinion or thought you have, no matter how shitty Yeah. And everyone can see it. I'll be like

Okay. Okay. That doesn't sound real at all. But now when I look back, I'm like The the time before all of that seems unreal. Like i in those days, like if you had an opinion, maybe two of your friends knew. Right. You know what I mean? Like if you were really bad at expressing Or whatever thought you have or opinion you have.

And it's and it's something you just shouldn't say, right? Because you haven't worked it out in your mind. And or you're just you're you're very bad at articulating your thoughts. Maybe like maybe like one person other than yourself. Knew that. So they couldn't cancel you, right? It's just one person that knows that you're terrible at expressing your thoughts. Maybe that's that that seems like nature intended. And what I mean by that is um I don't think humans were created to care or

even know what's happening everywhere at the same time. I don't know if we are biologically capable of having ubiquitous thought. You know, that that's that's supposed to be like in the realm of like the divine or like a supreme being maybe. But I I'm not sure that humans are supposed to know This much stuff, I think we're supposed to just know what's going on in our families, our neighborhoods.

at the most, maybe our city, and we're not supposed to know that some dude named Daniel in a whole other continent wore some shoes and someone was like, Damn Daniel does that make sense? I I I I don't think that's what was intended by nature. Like obviously, right? We weren't born with these devices like attached to our hands. Um When I look back at in t at those times, now that seems unreal. Am I making sense? That because if what I just said makes no sense.

And if you're listening right now and you disagree with me, that's because we're living in this age where I have a mic in front of me and my thoughts are being projected to like tons of people. Back in those days when I was a kid, maybe one friend. Okay, my friend Hansund Would would know that I have these thoughts. So even if I make no sense, I'm only confusing one person. I only have one person disagreeing with me.

That's my point. Uh yeah, that's crazy. YouTube was Twenty one years ago YouTube was born. When was the first uh the YouTube zoo video? The YouTube zoo video, which was the first YouTube video, was uh me at the zoo. It was 2005. So it was twenty one years ago. Have you seen that video of the YouTube founders uh in this small ass room like completely miserable because they weren't getting traction? So it's them sitting in this Really shitty office.

space. It it looks like a supply room, but they're sitting there and they're down in the dumps because they're no one's watching YouTube. Also no one's using YouTube. There aren't enough videos on YouTube. So they're like debating What they can do, but they still have like this sense of humor. A lot of people watch this video as like inspiration because they're like

Everyone starts somewhere. Even YouTube had these worries at the beginning. But what I noticed was that even though they may be facing certain failure, they're humorous about it. Like They're laughing. And I watched that and I was like, that is the spirit of YouTube. That is probably why they made it, why YouTube became what it became is because they were able to laugh and like have a sense of humor about it. But anyways.

That was like twenty one years ago. Damn, that's crazy. Time passes so fast. That is crazy. You know what's crazy? Uh one day it's gonna be two thousand thirty six. And we're gonna be talking about the Hey Tableau podcast came out ten years ago. Oh my god. I hope we're still like speaking to each other and stuff ten years from now. I I don't mean you guys, but um I hope it's not like The future depicted in Terminator, like Skynet, or or the Matrix. Machines have taken over.

Uh what else? Pokemon Go came out Ten years ago. Hold on, hold on. Why does Pokemon Go fe feel like it was five years ago? Is it ten years ago? I still have my account. Did you guys play? Do you remember what level you got to? Let me check mine. If you're driving right now, please don't check what level you were uh on Pokemon Go. Pokemon?

Like a fun start to two thousand twenty-six, but holy shit, all of this really has me thinking, we need to make better use of our time. Time seriously does Just fly by. You know how uh as you get older, time Feels like it's going faster. Like a year seems way faster than it did uh when we were kids. Like when we were kids, summer break really felt like a break. It it it felt almost Infinite impossibility.

like once school was out and you had summer break In your mind, you had enough time to build a tree house, to discover areas of your town that you never knew were there? Uh you had enough time to learn various different things. uh to hang out with your friends, to spend, you know, countless nights just on the phone, uh, to read comics. to do your summer homework, everything, right? Like it it felt like it it was not just an ample amount of time, but like an infinite amount of time.

And summer break really felt like summer break. But these days, because I have a daughter, like when she goes on summer break, it might feel like Enough time to her, but as I'm watching, I'm like, Oh my god, school starts again in a week? Her summer break is already over? And you know, you know, they they say it's it's almost, you know, scientific.

that time feels faster as you get older. And I always assumed that it was because our memory gets bad. Because you have less things to remember. Like let's say memories are like dots. And because you have less dots between 2025 and 2026, or between 2010 and now you have less memorable moments If you only have like three dots between the last year, then in your mind it'll seem shorter in retrospect than when you were a kid and you have so many memorable moments.

Um because everything is new, right? The first time you tried Mint chocolate ice cream. The first time you had Hawaiian pizza. Weird choices, I know, but I love them. Everything was new and fresh. So they're like huge dots. So the more dots you have, uh the longer it feels. And Apparently that's that's sort of pseudoscientific. that as you get older you have less memorable moments because most of it is routine and there's no sense of marvel or sense of awe.

anymore when you when you do things because you've probably already done them. And the problem is, this is a New worry that I have, not for myself, but for people in general, is that the age of social media, so ever since social media happened, we feel like we've experienced things that we haven't. So not only are we, as we get older, are we uh going into a routine and losing our sense of awe um at experiencing things.

for the first time. Now we live in an age where we're exposed to so much information and and so many videos and so many experiences of others.

About copybaras flocked together in a hot spring in Japan. There's a there's apparently a zoo in Japan where they do this. A bunch of copybaras are in a hot spring together. And it's like the cutest thing. And I saw one video because like Haru was like, Dad, let's search copy bars in hot spring. And we did and we watched every video.

So now if I go to a if I go to the zoo, if I actually go to the zoo Or better better yet, if I'm like just walking through some forest and then there's a there's a natural hot spring and for some reason there's a shit ton of copy bars inside the spring, just chillin'. That should shock and amaze me. And there should be an explosion of awe when I see this.

Like, oh my God, that is this is not only cute, but this is amazing. Like This like this the this this amount of natural beauty shouldn't even be possible and it's happening right in front of my eyes. I won't have this awe anymore, or I'll have less of the awe. It'll be cushioned because I've seen so many videos online.

And I know this is a hilarious example, but What I'm trying to say is because we're living in uh in in an age where we vicariously experience um everything before we actually experience it. Um our our sense of awe, our dopamine um has already been drained.

that will shorten the dots. That that will minimize the dots or just when every memory uh becomes disposable, we'll just have less dots to look back on. And And for that reason I I feel like even if you're not as old as I am Uh even if you're in your teens or like In your early twenties, I feel like a lot of people feel like time is passing faster now. Before phones, before social media, I think when you were young, you really did feel like a month was a month. And only old people like me

felt like time was passing faster. But now I feel like everyone experiences time passing faster. I know this because I talked to my daughter about what episode I'm doing today. And she'cause she asked me, she's like, Dad, what what are you gonna do for your first episode? And I was like, Oh, these you know, did you did you know Kangnam style was fourteen years ago? And she was like, Really? It was fourteen years ago? And I'm like, Bro, you've been alive for fifteen years.

You've all you've only been alive for a year longer than Kangnam style. But even she feels like time is passing fast. And I think it's I think it's it's because of

our phones and social media. I believe there is only maybe like two things that I have no problem um having people binge on on their phones. I I believe we should be on our phones less, but I believe there are two things that are okay to binge on. First, um Epicase or Epicase YouTube channel. That's okay. And also this podcast. Uh I know it's very selfish of me to say this, but um we will work.

to not just provide a dopamine hit, but also, you know, hit a chord in your heart. We will try our best to teach you something at least, to leave you with with at least one medium sized dot in your mind. We will try to Do everything possible to heighten the sense of awe as we live this life. Like I will try. I will try. So I'm not gonna say get off your phones because I I depend on I depend on your phone to get to you. So I won't say that, but um yeah, let let's uh be mindful of these dots that

I have this memory, I have this big dot here, this medium sized dot here, this small dot here. Hopefully we can do that together. Please share this video with Everyone you know, uh if you're watching on YouTube. I would like you to do. You might be using Spotify, Apple Podcasts, all great platforms, but if you can, watch the video, the full video on YouTube.

uh and share it with your friends. Also subscribe on all the platforms that I just mentioned. And I believe that if you rate and review and give me like full stars and just praise it. praise this podcast, it helps feed all of my staff. And pay for this mic and these cameras and also this uh laptop that we have here. We need these things. Uh so please rate and review. And also if you have like submissions, like if you wanna tell me something or ask me something.

Or, you know, if you have ideas for episodes, you can just comment in the in in the video. In the comment section. Also, you can follow me at blow by blow, B-L-O-B-Y-B-L-O on Instagram. You know a lot of people don't know that this is blow by blow. A lot of people think that my handle on Instagram is bloby. Blow bloby blow. And they're just shocked. They're mind blown that it's blow by blow. You know you know like the blow by blow?

Can I get the blow by blow? So it was a play on that, because my name's Tableau, right? So I was like blow by blow, but everyone calls it blow be blow. Blobby Blow or something like that. Anyways, I'll see you next week on Hey Tableau. Bye bye.