Friendship issues? Career troubles? Imposter Syndrome? LET ME HELP! | Hey Tablo Ep. 14

Just a little bit because I'm dying. Hold on. I'll try to eat as quietly as possible, but also, you know, one of the things that solves problems is uh is ASMR. Okay, let's begin. The fur okay my stomach is growling. This is why. What would you rather listen to? My stomach growling or a little bit of, you know, chicken in my mouth?

Okay. The first one is at what age should I stop Okay, a lot of people are dealing with like age. I see a lot of comments like I feel so like old now, like I'm not sure if I can and then I look at they're like twenty

At what age should I stop being a K-pop stan, or as I like to call it, sponsoring seven boys from Korea? Okay, this is clearly clearly an army issue. Clearly BTS. For context, I am thirty-six and my coworkers roll their eyes anytime they hear me play my playlist or when I get excited about a comeback or attending a concert. I am starting to think maybe I should stop my sponsorship and focus on something else. Advice?

To all the people out there that feel like they're not acting their age because they stand something or someone or you know, some kind of cultural thing or um some hobby, let me just say I'm older than this person that posted this, but I stand a lot of things. I still do a lot of things that quote unquote aren't things that I should be doing at For example, I I you know, I collected Lego minifigures, like those Lego people. And I even went so far as to buy uh custom ones.

Because Lego doesn't officially create certain characters unless they have a license. But there's these artists that create Legos of like like for example John Wick. I have like the Godfather and stuff like this. And I set up this whole thing in my In my there's like this this display in my room that my wife actually bought for me because she's like, This guy seems to be really into this now, right?

So she actually bought me like a glass uh display and I I set up an entire movie world in there. Like a multiverse. There's like there's like like a dinosaur from Jurassic Park and all Lego. And I started like I started printing my own signs and stuff to like I I made a movie theater and I printed my own signs. And like at one point I looked in the mirror and I hated myself.

I was like, what the hell is wrong with me? Like what is it I'm going through right now? Like what is this? Is this a midlife crisis? And I got so worried, right? And I started this Lego thing with my daughter and I fell into it way deeper than her. She had already grown out of it, and I was still on it.

And I was like, this must be my midlife crisis. Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Like I'm like wasting time and a little bit of money on this. Like, what am I doing? And then I was hanging out with uh some young that are older than me. And they're all like business people and very accomplished people, right? And I'm with them and, you know, they're talking about their hobbies and it's like cigars. Collecting wine, um, like whiskey, playing golf.

Some of them were talking about like cars, none of which I understand or care about. Like I don't do any of those things. I don't even I don't drive. You can give me like cheap wine from seven and eleven and I won't know the difference between that and something that's like ten thousand dollars. Like I just can't tell the difference. It'll be totally wasted on me, right? So I'm like listening to them and I'm like, okay, they're clearly acting their age. But then I thought about it and I'm like,

They're spending way more money than me on this stuff. That is as arbitrary as collecting Legos or like collecting seashells. Do you know what I mean? Like collecting wine is Just just as random and weird if you think about it. Because like it's it's like it's like a beverage. Like you drink it and it's gone.

Cigars you smoke it and it's gone. Like it's all disposable, just as you know, Legos are. And I was thinking about it and I was like, you know, it's just I just happen to be doing this right. So I'm saying, uh, Brittany, I think sponsoring Seven Boys from Korea is way better than collecting wine. You know, or you know, collecting golf clubs.

Right? Like these golf clubs are not like breathing individuals with souls, with like artistry, with like choreography, with like dreams and passions, with like story arc. But your no the the the Seven Boys from Korea, they did their own like show on like comeback show on Netflix. Do do a billionaires golf clubs have their own show on Netflix? No, they do not. So proudly stand what you stand. Age has nothing to do with it.

I know people who um deliberately switched over from liking uh hip hop music to liking jazz when they hit forty. Because they were so self conscious about liking hip hop. And if it was a clean switch Whatever, but they still listen to hip hop. I know it. They're they're listening to hip hop at home, but when they go out, they they when someone asks, uh hey, do you still like hip hop? Oh no, I don't listen to that anymore. I listen to jazz. And I'm I'm like, I know you're lying.

I know you're lying. Name one jazz song. And they're like, uh Miles Davis. And I'm like, Miles Davis is a person. My Miles Davis is the musician. Name one jazz song. And I'm talking about two cuts. Don't live a lie. Okay, proudly stand BTS, proudly stand whoever you stand, proudly stand the hobbies you stand. It's okay because. Moving on from that to do something more your age or to do something more like classy just costs more money and is less fun, to be honest. You get like sunburnt.

Okay, here's the next one. How to make friends in your thirties if you're an intrapr

And another person uh commented how to make friends as an adult, especially if you're fresh out of school and have an office job with much older coworkers. A lot of people asked about uh being able to make friends when you're older. I think it might be because Epicai, my group, is known to be like friends and old. Friends while old. So a lot of people ask questions like this, but what the hell Grace? You're louder than the chicken in my mouth. It's okay.

So saying Sarah Nine, there's two problems in the question, and they're not really um connected, if you think about it. One is she wants to know how to make friends in your thirties, and one is if you're an interesting. Two very separate things, right? If you're an introvert, it doesn't matter if you're thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred, twenty. Five. If you're well, if you're an introvert, you're an introvert. And uh so let's first tackle the introvert problem.

I'm gonna flat out, you know, say I'm not an introvert, obviously. Uh I'm an extrovert. I'm ENFP. So I might not understand fully what goes on in in a in an introvert's mind. And uh uh just to like put out a disclaimer I'm gonna try to give advice. as like an uncle or like a hyong or an opa or a ajashi or a dad. I'm gonna give advice but All of the advice I give today is coming from like experience or like something I would

You know, it's just coming from a per like an individual's mind. So do not take anything I say today as like absolute gospel and run with it. Okay. I am not a professional and to be honest, I don't even trust the professional. Okay. So if I don't trust the professionals, how untrustworthy am I? So don't take what I say as like tr absolute truth. I'm just gonna try to help. Okay. Although I'm not an introvert and I don't understand introverts too well, I do have

an introvert in my group, Mithra Jin, and I do have an introvert in my home, my wife. My wife doesn't talk a lot She only says what needs to be said. She also said it's not that I'm you know I don't like to talk, it's that you never give me a chance. But that's besides. Anyway, she's introverted.

And Mithro Jin is introverted. Like he only talks when he you know, he's like super interested in something and he'll like have a spurt of a lot of talking and then like he'll go quiet and probably sleeping, you know. Actually I'm not even sure if it's because he's an introverted or it's because he's lazy.

But first of all, the introvert part I can't really help you with. It's just something that like I don't know, Grace, how do you deal with it? How do you deal with it? Because you're like one of the biggest introverts I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. What happens when there's a room and there's like fifty people, but they're all introverts? Like, does everyone just

sit quietly and wait until somebody like says the first thing? Or or do even introverts have like relative like relative extroverts. Yeah, I think I if I'm in a room Okay. So you're to them you might be a little extroverted. That's what I'm saying. Because like I can see what introverts go through. Like you guys basically like are afraid to say hey first or like initiate the uh the relationship where the

Or the friendship because you are afraid of the how the other person will react? Or like your whatever you say will, you know, just not land? What is it's all of the above. All the fears. Oh my It must be so difficult living as an introvert. Cause extroverts, we just, you know, we just go with it. We don't even know we're like high-fiving someone we just like we just ran into. Like someone we don't know at all, right? And then we just live with the regret. Like we have a lot of people.

Introverts, I guess, have less regrets than us, you know, because you don't expose yourself to as much risk as we do, because we extroverts constantly uh create situations to regret. So Sarah, you have to be at least relatively extroverted like Grace here, okay? Understand that you need to put in a little bit of work.

So that's how you handle the introvert part. And the 30s part, you need to start like doing things, I guess. If you think about it, I met my lifelong friends at Pikai. I met them late. I met them after college. You know, I had just graduated.

I was like legal age to drink and and drive no, no, like drink separately and drive separately. Luckily I don't even drive. So but what I'm saying is I was over twenty-one when I met It might have been difficult for me to make friends if I was doing some kind of work where like I wasn't really vibing with the work.

But because I was lucky enough to do something that I was passionate about, I got to do it with other people that were passionate about it as well. So even if we weren't passionate about each other, we were often in situations where we had a common passionate goal, right? Like a shared thing. And I think that was what got us through the first like five to maybe ten years. We might not have actually even been as close as people think. Or as we thought. Like we we may have not been like friends.

We may have been more interested in the thing that we were doing together. I might have been passionate about the art aspect of it. Mithra might have been. passionate about like, you know, the fun part of it or like as a hobby. Two cuts might have been interested completely in the financial part. But what I'm saying is because we had that shared passion, even if like we had different reasons for loving what we did.

Because it kept us together for so long, we eventually ended up being friends to the point where even if we one day lose our passion for that common thing, like even if we stop doing music or we stop creating stuff or we stop doing things together, we'll still be friends. So I think you need to like find hobbies. The the the older you get, I think that's probably why a lot of people golf.

Um seriously, I I like everyone's trying to get me to golf and I won't. But I think that one of the reasons why they go out there at like eight in the morning or seven in the morning to to golf. uh in the sun and stuff is because they they sort of like have a longing to make like friends and meet people I I think it that exists in people that are even in their like fifties and sixties.

So I think expose yourself to more hobbies or uh new experiences and maybe maybe that'll help. Like the the second commenter, Hannah, she said that she's at an office job uh with much older coworkers. Okay, I'm not sure if you can make friends there. I'm gonna be honest.

But if you're fresh out of school, like there's a lot of people in the city that you're in that are also fresh out of school. You know the you know the concept of like third space? Like coffee shops or like you know, favorite bakeries or like restaurants or like the gym or like you know, mountain climbing or rock climbing. Somewhere that is not the home and that is not the workplace, right? So everybody needs a third place.

where uh you run into people, you find people with common interests. And I guess that that's why like coffee shops like marketed as third places. uh do really well because people don't want to become friends with their coworkers. And that's hard. Like off in an office space it's it's probably What I'm saying is try different things. Like it's less about trying to make friends, but you should be more focused on trying to do new things, even when you're in your 30s.

Try to learn and experience new things in your 30s and 40s and 50s. And as a result, you might not end up with the hobby. You might not. Stick through with the hobby, but at the end of it, what you'll have is a couple of friends. Is what I'm trying to say. Uh there's a bunch about jobs as expected.

How do I figure out what I want to do in my life career-wise? How did you know that it was music for you? Because I always feel like uh my interests are changing almost every day and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in my life. Meanwhile, everyone around me seems to have their whole future already planned out. Love you from Scotland.

Uh love you back from Seoul. First of all, let me just say when it feels like everyone around you has everything figured out, like their whole future figured out, they're either lying or it just looks that way. I know this because tons of people online think that I have stuff figured that I don't have any worries or anxiety.

I am so confused about what I'm doing, like 99% of the time. This morning I woke up, I was stretching, and I was like, I don't even know where this voice came from, but something in my mind was like, I'm fucked. As I was stretching, I was like, What? And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't I don't know what I like, have you even like started like thinking about like estate planning? And I'm like, Estate planning?

What the fuck do you mean? And you're like, you know, you know, you you you like as you get older and you don't know what's gonna happen to you. Like have you thought about like like how like you how you're gonna like take care of your family after you're gone? And I'm like That's called estate planning? I thought like estate planning is for rich people. And then like, oh, uh I'm like, oh that's what's why am I thinking about this while I'm stretching?

I'm like that all the time. I'm like that all the time. So let me just say: people that look like they have things figured out don't have things figured out. We're all mortal, but To get back to the question about how did I know it was music, I didn't. I didn't know that what I was gonna end up doing was music. Long time ago I published a book. It was a collection of short stories that I wrote from like when I was nineteen, like eighteen, nineteen to like when I graduated from college.

And it was a collection of short stories and in you know how books when you open it there's like the author's description and it's quite often written by the author, like to to like introduce themselves? And I actually said that I I can't remember totally, but I I think I said that I wanted to be a writer, but I slipped into music. I think I used that. that term. Like I I kinda slipped and fell into music.

Yeah, music was just one of my hobbies, not even like the main one. I wanted to be a film director. I wanted to like uh write novels, write screenplays. And I was so, so certain that I was gonna be either a director or someone creating movies. And probably why I'm so like into film, you know, and why I can get sixty two point five percent of all my Oscar picks right, because

'Cause that was my original passion and I was really knowledgeable about film. I even worked as like an assistant director. But uh what happened was I was working on this documentary movie and I was basically like Yeah, I was basically the guy who gets coffee. Anyways, I was there on set and one of the guys that was investing in the movie, like one of the investors, came to visit.

And to see what's going on and saw me like with my headphones on like kind of like mumbling to myself and uh wanted to know what I was listening to. I played him like what I was listening to. I was actually listening to one of the songs I made. He heard it. Turns out he had all this money because he owned a huge record label in Korea. And that's how he was investing in the movie.

So he wanted me to like become a musician and I said no because I was still in school and I had no I had no desire to become like a musician or an entertainer at all. So I said no. But a few years later, when my hobby, like music hobby, became something that I was a little more passionate about. I remembered him and uh through that I took my first steps into like meeting people. So I lit literally just slipped into it kind of. It was like all by chance, but also I was ready.

You know, if I wasn't making music for no other reason but Uh, you know, I'm passionate about it, right? Like I wasn't being paid to make this music. And at the time, like, we didn't have SoundCloud and stuff. So the songs I made, like, no one listened to it. Maybe some people on campus, maybe like twenty friends that I, you know, passed it around to. But I was working hard regardless because I liked doing it.

And because I was ready when when you know serendipity happened when someone with a record label was investing in the movie that I was working as like the lowest on the rung at. I was in the right place at the right time because I was doing the right things. Uh that I was ready, right? So you figure it out when it happens. Stop focusing on like whether or not this is the right thing for you, or whether or not there is a right thing for you, and do what

Right now in the moment makes you feel valuable. Like makes you feel like you have something to contribute. Like, or it's just something some some kind of puzzle that you you you're obsessed with that you want like Some people become master Rubik's Cube competitors. How did they end up there? They didn't like, they weren't like four and the their teachers like, what do you guys want to be when you grow up? I want to be the Rubik's Cube world champion. I don't think anybody really does that.

Uh it's just something that they they like doing, so they kept doing it and then eventually they you know they have the world record. So what I'm saying is, uh don't try to figure it out. It's n it's not figure outable. And did I know that I would become a YouTuber? And a podcaster? When I was rapping my ass off on stage? No. None of our fans even expected.

But, you know, it just sorta happened. It's just something we wanted to do. It's felt like something that our team would have fun doing and we did it and our team was having fun. And then other people found it fun and then people liked it and then it grew into this thing and created new paths. What advice would you give someone that is starting life over in their 40s?

Oh hold on, give me one second. I actually have this written down. Samuel L. Jackson, Nick Fury of the Marvel Universe, the leader, okay? He didn't become a household name until he was 45. His breakout performance in Pulp Fiction was 45. Vera Wang, the uh wedding dress that everybody wants, right? Before entering the fashion industry, she was a figure skater and a journalist at vote.

She didn't open the uh bridal boutique until she was forty. Tony Morrison, Nobel Prize winning author, didn't publish the first novel until thirty nine. Okay, so didn't find success until the forty. Stan Lee was forty three. He was a struggling comic writer at a time when comics weren't even a big thing. Achieved success at 43. Like it there's way more people if you look it up that found success in their 40s, 50s.

So I mean even in their 60s, right? A lot of people pivot. The founder of Red Bull, I believe he was just working at some company until he was like. in his forties, he was sent on like a work trip to I think Thailand, uh, from his company that he didn't even enjoy the work, but he went there and then he discovered the drink and he was like, If we make this carbonated and sell it globally, like I think this will work in the West. He became uh the Red Bull guy like in his forties.

So a lot of people pivot around this age. I heard the average age of uh billionaires or entrepreneurs or multimillionaires, the age that they pivot at is some sometime in their forties or early fifties. So yes. You can definitely start life over in your forties and it's actually the best time to do so. I started my life over again in in my forties. I became a YouTuber.

and podcaster. But I also started my life uh over again in my thirties. I w was a very successful musician here in Korea and when I hit thirty, I I had my career completely destroyed uh by people who Just hated me. So I had to restart my entire career and I did it. And right now, uh there's articles saying like Epicai is at their prime right now. They're having another, you know, Liji Shijar, which is like prime, right? But this is like happening in our mid forties.

And I guarantee you with the amount of passion I have, I will have a resurgence again in my fifties and in my sixties and in my seventies and eighties. Like it n it none of that will matter. Like the age won't matter. So uh it's okay to pivot and just do what you feel like. uh is what y your life needs right now. Like don't think about like oh I'm forty something. Don't think about that. You can always start over again.

Hey Tableau, did you ever feel uh insecure about choosing to study the humanities instead of something that's visibly useful? We have an entire episode dedicated to that. Okay, go to our YouTube channel or go on our uh podcast page and you will see an episode saying tech bros, watch out. The humanities gang is coming for you. The title says it all. Just just go listen to that episode. It is literally about how unuseful I am and how everyone in this room

Uh also studied something that is quote unquote completely useless. Uh we we here are in the top ten most regretted majors or fields of study. But we turned out fine because Ironically, the useless things we learned and were passionate about became useful in 2026. Stories, content, entertainment, like humans making humans laugh. uh and humans making mistakes but making it entertaining became something of value and more and more as the machines

take over, I believe our useless, shitty majors or fields of study will become valuable. So go watch that episode. I'm not saying engineering or STEM is useless. You guys, we need you. We need you to keep us alive. We need you to cure diseases. We need you to defeat the viruses and stuff and I'm sorry, I'm talking like an idiot. I'm not a STEM person.

How to get over imposter syndrome. Oh I a lot of people DM me this stuff too. Imposter syndrome seems to be something that everyone deals with. I am an artist and I often struggle with feeling like I deserve none of the success I've gotten uh or that my art is up to par. How do you go about dealing with it?

And people commented, Ooh, I like this topic. I need advice on this too. I've just started a full time adult job and I'm definitely feeling a uh imposter syndrome and everyone else is so busy, I'm too hesitant to ask anyone for help. So imposter syndrome is like feeling like I'm a fraud, feeling like I don't belong here, feeling like why am I here? Like is it luck? Like this surreal feeling is getting in the way of them like proceeding, right? Um let me just say

If I'm any indication, quote unquote successful people feel this too. They feel this too. Maybe even more. I remember when I first like had a hit song, like when um our song Fly came out. You know, when I wrote that song in my room, like I had no idea how many people would listen to it. It was literally me and a lap. And nobody other than me was was hearing what I was creating. So there was no way for me to even know if it was gonna do well. I didn't even know if it was crappy or if it was

Yeah, like I just had no idea. I just m I just made it. Like the f the first part like him dir jo, like I didn't know if it sounded corny or like s like stupid. Like I I didn't know. It came out. Song was a massive success. It was used by uh that game, FIFA. that year. Like it was it's part of the soundtrack. Like it became like a global thing. And when that happened, like people

think that like you have a long come up and then you uh you make it and it just feels good and you're like celebrating and like popping champagne. No. I was like I was like what the hell's going on? Like this can't be real. This f this feels weird. I don't know how to keep up with this. Like I feel like this was a fluke. So when the next um the you know, when I was up at bat next and I had to make the next album, I was like, I don't know I don't know how I did it. Like I

I I can't I can't recreate like what I did. Like I I do I really don't know how I made a hit song. Like it must have been like luck. Like it it must have been a fluke. And I was like killing myself over it. So that's why it took so long to drop the next album. But the next album had Love Love Love on it. It had Fan on it. And the album after that had umbrella on it, had one on it. All those songs were even bigger hits.

And I swear every single time as we reached a different level of success or the different the the next stage, every time I was unsure about my footing. I was like What is going on? Or like is this like Truman's show? Like are people pretending? Like like am I gonna wake up and was this like it's just it was like a dream or like Quite often I felt like, you know, I I wasn't me. But To dare give advice uh on this because so many people are dealing with it, like it's hard to give advice.

If you are in your job or in your workplace or somewhere or if you're an athlete, uh, whatever you do, like if you're listening right now and you feel like you don't the position you are currently holding or you don't deserve any of the um success or any of the fruits of your work right now and you just feel like you lucked out or you're a fluke and you're gonna lose

your footing soon when people realize that you don't have it together, that you have no idea what you're doing. And if that fear is like making you hesitant about taking the next step. Let me just say You have to reframe your thinking. you have to stop worrying about whether or not other people see you as having it together. You have to stop thinking about whether or not you look like you're in control or you look like you know what you're doing. You have to only think about

Can I do something today uh that helps someone? Or can I do something today that's a little better than yesterday? Can I do something today that uh you know I can be passionate about, that I can be proud of? Only think about that. I think that is the only reason why Epicai or or me personally like Tableau. I think the only reason why. Twenty years later I can keep going is because I literally rarely, rarely, like I I don't care about whether or not people think

I'm successful or people think I know what I'm doing or people think I'm good at what I'm doing. I don't care. And d and to be honest, they don't care. Nobody really cares about what you're doing. They're all busy with their own thing. Like nobody No like even when you're winning an award or like you you know, you're the you're the it person of the moment and everyone f it feels like everyone cares. They don't. They don't care about you. They have their own things to worry about. So

Stop thinking about that and just you just have to like you just have to do the thing today because you like doing it. Cause it's like'cause you you you feel like you can help. So to to make that even easier to understand. If you're at a a job like this person who commented, um if you're in in a part of a group project, just Try to only focus on what can I do, what little can I do, like tiny thing can I do to help this project we're working on right now.

And regardless of whether or not I get recognized for it. Regardless of whether or not you know I look good or I you know I look bad. Don't think about any of that and just be like, okay, this project needs what? Okay, what can I do? Okay, even if it's me just you know, going over there and printing 400 pages for this guy. Do it. Just do it. Just focus on that. And eventually people will also recognize slowly what you've been doing.

But I'm just saying, I go through imposter syndrome all the time. I told you I was like stretching and in my mind I was like, you're fucked. Huh? What? I'm fucked.

Uncle Tableau. How do I stop overthinking every little decision I make, big and small? Sometimes overthinking genuinely makes me lose sight of important things and I genuinely have no clue how to stop my brain from being so active when it comes to even small things, but especially big things. Very meta, this situation.

Uh you're overthinking right now. You're overthinking about overthinking right now. Okay, and that's what overthinkers tend to do. And I am an overthinker as well. Uh and um a few things helped me. I think Too much. about too many different things for too many different reasons and most of the time it's useless. And I think what helped me was first one, realizing that worrying about stuff is a total waste of time.

The reason is 90% to maybe 99 to 100% of your worries actually won't come true. What I mean by that is you might be worried about A, but B will happen. You might be worried about A and B, C will happen. Or sometimes none of those things will happen and and you know it'll be like clear paths for like two years. So the time you spend worrying, you're actually experiencing the negative thing that you're trying to avoid and that you're afraid of in advance. Why?

You're so worried that it'll happen, you don't want it to happen, you're scared of it, you're trying to run from it, then why are you bringing it forward? And experiencing it for no reason. It's not gonna happen. And if I say this to overthinkers, they'll say, but what if it It's better to be prepared, no? No, it's not.

Because overthinking is not preparing you. You you need to like think about the reality of it. You need to look at the present. You can actually actively fix things. You can you can actually go out there and do certain things.

Sitting and worrying about it is not gonna fix anything. You if you if you're busy fixing, you don't have time to worry. Ironically, that's that's what will happen. So that's one thing I realized. I was like You know, like pe because you have to understand I have a lot of trauma. J just Google me. I mean, all the shit I went through, like A B C to Z, all these things happen. So after I experienced like

Things that no human should experience. It was very easy for me to worry and overworry and like and imagine and like create things that don't even exist so that I can worry, right? And so that I can I can like quote unquote prepare but while I'm actually just tormenting myself and torturing myself, right? So Uh I realized that that that is taking time away from my family, taking time away from like creating good memories with my loved ones. So I just

trained myself. I worked at it every day. I was like, if I start worrying about something, I'm like, okay, this is probably not gonna happen. The likelihood of that this happening is maybe like maybe twenty percent. And for that twenty percent, I'm gonna experience one hundred percent of the torment right now. That's so stupid. And I look in the mirror, I'm like, are you stupid?

Right. So I think that kind of helped. And the second thing that really helped is you need friends who stop you from overthinking. Like you need friends who are so basic. that it makes you look weird for thinking at all. Like not even overthinking. Yeah, you need friends that make you feel like an idiot for thinking. For example, on our YouTube show Epicot.

We went to Costco because we were gonna like use this fire stove oven oven, like the outdoor what is that? Fire the outdoor like oven kind of thing. And we needed uh logs. We needed fire logs. And two cuts went and got uh these logs uh that didn't look right to me. And it's you can see it in the episode. Like it wasn't even cut out. I say, are the are you sure we can use these?

Are you sure we can use don't we need like actual wooden like logs? Like I'm not sure we can use these. And everyone was like, No, no, no we can use them. It's fine, it's fine. They're like, Oh, it works. This is the and even our our producer here said it was fine. We were like, okay. So we go over there. Tuka and like shoves it all in there. Fucking lights it on fire. Inferno. Inferno.

Okay, it was basically a volcano. It was like, it was unbelievable. And the whole time I'm like and then Mithrand Tukas come out and they're looking at it, they're like, How could this happen? They're like, what went wrong? And I'm like, I said it. I said it like three times. Interestingly enough, I was made to look like an idiot. Because I was like, I told you this would happen. We like what are we gonna do now? We should have they're like, they literally said, no, we'll just wait.

Until the fire goes out. And I'm like, that's gonna take like five hours. They're like, then we'll f wait five hours. I looked like the uh anal. And then and then I was like, maybe I'm an idiot for overthinking. Maybe what's the point of overthinking? Oh, by the way, we we were safe. Like we we uh we sorted it all out. Uh luckily the fire was in a brick oven. So uh it went out pretty quickly. Uh there was nothing nearby that would get on fire because

I cleared it all before we we put the logs in, okay, because I was overthinking. So I'm just saying, okay, let me just say being an overthinker is not a bad thing, but only having overthinkers is a bad thing. I think you need an overthinker and you need to balance it out with with uh a friend that, you know, does a little bit of underthinking and a friend that does no think. And if you have a trio like that, you will you will be

Like everything will like the overthinker will plan out like a hundred things that don't need to be planned out or worried about. And then the underthinker will like be like, you know, who cares? And then the the other thinker will just the non thinker will just be sleeping. So like It'll all work out somehow. You just need you just need You know, a good blend of friends. Here's another one. It's in Korean, so I'll read it in Korean.

아직 미래의 얘기지만 자녀가 영어와 한국어 모두 가능한 바일링궐이 되었으면 하는데 타저씨? 타저씨는 그런 측면에서 하루의 언어를 어떻게 교육하셨나요? She's in her thirties. Can't help but think about marriage. She knows that it's looking a bit far into the future, but wants to know it uh like how to make your child like bilingual in both English and Korean, like fluent in both. Uncle Tableau. She called me a Tajashi, like Tableau and Ajashi. Tajashi. How did you go about teaching harder languages with that in mind?

Okay. And there's another one. Your relationship with Haru feels really close and genuine. Sometimes it looks more like a really strong friendship. How did you nurture that over time and what advice would you give to new parents of daughters? For the bilingual thing, I mean if if your boyfriend speaks English and you speak Korean fluently as I c I can see, your child will have no problem being bilingual.

But you kinda have to balance it out. Like my my wife speaks to Haru in Korean, like completely in Korean. And I speak to Haru in English, like quite often. We'll we'll go back and forth, but we didn't start that like right away. Like If you watched me uh like my show like the Return of Superman, like at first there was a scene where like I spoke English to Haru and Haru was like, Yong oh Hajima. And she she didn't speak a word of English at that time.

So we started really late. Like we I waited until she o was open to the idea of me speaking So but once once that happened, like she picked it up super fast. And as all kids do, like kids pick up languages extremely fast. Um so if you want them to be bilingual, just uh

take different roles and speak to her and and your kid will pick it up. Don't worry. Seriously don't worry. About my relationship with Haru feeling very close and genuine and how I nurtured it. I don't know. I don't I don't really know how I did it. But let me just say, like, we really are friends. Like, it's not like we're like friends. We we are friends. I just happen to be a friend.

But she really considers me like a friend and she will quite often just like not hang out with her friends because she wants to hang out with me. And I'll ask her, like I'll be like that, you know, you don't wanna hang out with your friends? Like it's the weekend. And she'll say like it uh well it's more fun, like hang on with your dad. So I appreciate that so much and just

Something like I yeah. She makes me so happy. But all I'm saying is, okay, it's hard for parents to know the difference, but like As a as a parent you need to know when your kid needs a dad and when your kid needs a And unfortunately the parents of my generation, like our parents, they they didn't know the difference. Like they they didn't really care to know the difference. They just assumed that like you you never need You only needed uh and uh a strong parent too, right?

To tell you what to do. To punish you when you don't do it. But I I think because I ex I I ha I grew up like that, I never knew I I never expected to become a dad. Like I didn't like ever like when I was like, you know, a teenager or in my twenties I didn't know I was gonna get married so early and have a kid or that I was gonna be like a girl dad. I didn't know that, but I always knew in my heart that like if I ever become a parent, I'm gonna try to be the dad I needed. Like the parent

I actually needed. So when I became like a like a dad, I I think I just sort of instinctively knew uh when how to n like at certain moments when Haru needs a friend and at certain moments when Haru needs like a dad to like say hey how how to like this is not good you need to consider Right. And at times where even though she might need like a stern warning, I just see in her face that right now she needs a friend.

Like right now she just needs someone to hear her out, right or wrong, just h let her like say all that she needs to say and just vent and cry and just just hug her and then like make her laugh. Right. So I I just I'm good at sing sing when she needs what. And I think kids appreciate that. So th I think that's why we're really good. If you grew up wishing your parents were more like this or more like that.

Or you looked at friends' parents and sometimes, you know, you you felt like a bad person for thinking it, but sometimes you wished that your parents were like them, more like your friend's parents. Uh if if if you had moments like that, just be that parent to somebody like when it's your turn. Maybe that'll help, maybe it won't, but uh I don't know. That seems to be working for me.

Anyways, I ate four pieces of chicken as I was doing this. This is a terrible idea to eat while you do podcasts because you're not gonna be able to eat. Okay, I'm gonna go eat now. Hey Tableau is gonna be here next week too. So if you are gonna join us and if you want this to last, please go rate, review, give it stars, and uh hit the hype button here, share with your friends. Thank you. Hey Tableau.