DELILAH DILEMMAS: Sticky situations

a fairly big problem. I've been seeing a man for seven months now, and we are and we're very close friends before we decided to become a couple. The problem is I'm very free spirited and I love change. He, on the other hand, likes contentment and stability. I know he would never hurt me overall. He's a great man and I care for him, but he smothers me at times, treating me like I'm a child who is fragile. I

do admit he knows about my challenges. For one, I have an eating disorder and I still struggle with that somewhat. Even so, I feel like he sees me as a needy, unstable woman. Even at my weakest, I'm strong, independent and have always said I do not need a man anyway. There is a new person in my life and I love the chemistry. It's amazing and exciting. My friend says I must pick one, and for the past week I

keep going back and forth. I love my boyfriend, but I can't seem to get enough of my new friend. Please help me, from Aubrey, Aubrey, I will have my words for you coming up next. Tonight's letter is from Aubrey, a free spirited woman who is committed to one man and falling in love with another. And Aubrey, I have in your shoes more times than I can count, and it's not a good place to be. And all I can tell you is, please talk to your best friends. Please,

please please talk to your best friends. They know you, they love you, they support you. Get a good night's sleep, step back and look and ask yourself what you really really want out of life, and pray hard, girlfriend, because that's where your answers will come from. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Linda, who says, I know in this economy, one should be happy they have a job and can make a modest living. However, my dilemma is that my

job is making me sick. My boss is a micro manager who never passes up a chance to belittle me and ask me to my face, what's wrong with you. I'm in my mid fifties, I'm financially sound, married and have wonderful grown children. I am of above average intelligence, and I'm currently working in finance. I have outside creative hobbies. I do charity work. My health is good, except lately I'm stressed to the point of nausea and all the ugliness that comes with this job. My friends tell me

I need to find another job. At this point in time, I'm willing to take a cut and pay or take a part time job in the evenings. I know others have bigger problems than me, and I don't like feeling sorry for myself, but I'm nearing the end of my rope and I'm on the verge of tears all the time. Even my doctor is warning me employers don't want someone my age, and there's so much competition from younger people who have higher educations than me. Going tonight school is

out of the question. I don't have the energy to do that. I was hoping the new year would help, but it isn't. I feel stuck. Can you help me? From Linda? Linda, girlfriend, I will have my words of advice for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from Linda, who is working at a job with somebody

who is cruel and unkind. You know what I find amazing, Linda, is that you spent one two, three, four four sentences in your letter to me defending yourself, telling me that you are married, you have wonderful grown children, you're of above average intelligence. In other words, you were arguing with this idiot boss and his question of what's wrong with you to me. You don't need to prove that to me. You don't need to prove it to you, You don't need to prove it to anybody. You sure Zec don't

need to prove it to him. What you need to do is to change your thinking and stop giving him permission to steal your joy. So why are you letting his cruel, abusive words affect you? So when he walks in and says you're not smart or there's something wrong with you, it's as ludicrous as him saying that you're a bicycle built for two. You know what, you are, an intelligent, competent, beautiful, loving, charitable woman. Don't let his

stupid lies steal your joy. Instead of getting up in your head and arguing with him, you need to say a prayer and say, God, I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that I am smart and capable, So please don't let his stupid cruel words steal my joy. And then you go about your day doing your business. You either do that or you choose to believe that the talents and the gifts and the skills you have are valuable and you walk out and

you say, I don't need this mess. So you can either choose to not let him steal your joy or you can exercise your options. Either way, stop letting this idiot hurt you. Okay. I received this letter from a listener named Heather, who says, Hi, Delilah. My name is Heather and I'm almost twenty two years old. I've known my boyfriend since we were kids, and now we've been dating for a little over a year. His mother doesn't seem to like me yet I've done nothing wrong. He

tells me everything she says. She's a really picky lady, a clean freak. So I started washing his clothes to get her to have a little better perspective of me. Well that didn't work, she said, quote, she left your clothes in the dryer. She's so lazy. So after that, I made sure I stayed and finished the washing, the drying, the folding, the putting them away. I even tried helping with the dishes when I'm over there, and still she always looks at me with disdain. This is upsetting to

me because I love her son. Due to this stress, I haven't seen her in about two months. I know I'm avoiding her and I can't keep doing that. She will someday be my mother in law. What should I do? From Heather? Heather, I will have my remarks, my comments, my thoughts on your situation coming up next. Tonight's Delilah dilemma came from a young woman, twenty two year old girl named Heather, who is trying to jump through hoops to please her future mother in law. And this is

what I would say to you, Heather. There is a very telling sentence in your letter to me. It says, he tells me everything. She says, she's a really picky lady, and that tells me, Heather, your problem is not with your future mother in law. Your problem is with your future husband. If he is taking unkind things his mother has said about you and reporting them directly back to you,

he doesn't love you. Love never inflicts pain upon another one purposefully, and what he is doing by reporting his unkind mother's comments is inflicting pain upon your heart and manipulating you. You are not his slave, you're his girlfriend, his fiance, his beloved. Why in the world would you be washing his clothes, folding his clothes trying to earn her approval? What a crazy relationship. If he loved you, he would say, honey, don't touch my clothes. It's not

your job to clean my dirty clothes. It's my job. And if you were so kind as to help him and do something to bless him, like wash his laundry, the last thing in the world he should do is tell you you didn't do it good enough for his mother's approval. Run for the hills, girlfriend, Do not pass, go, do not collect you one hundred dollars, do not get any further deeply involved with such a manipulative family, or

you will be miserable. I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah.