CONFLICT: Validating your partner

Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have put together some of my favorite radio moments here to share with you on our daily podcast you.

Hey, it's Delilah.

Are you writing in a car with someone you love or are you home with someone you love? Are you home with your husband or your wife or your sweetheart? Well, if you're in a car, then you're in a trapped environment and I can talk to you. If you're at home, they can walk in the other room or change the channel or whatever. But wherever you are, if you are in conflict with your sweetheart, with your partner, maybe ah, this is a new thing, or maybe it's an everyday thing.

This is Delilah. Hi. What can I do for you?

Matt I'd like to make your dedication to my life.

What's her name?

Her name is Christina?

And what do you want to tell the world about your bride.

We've been together for a year and a half now and everybody's been against us, and about a month ago we split up. Well, we learned real quickly we could not live without each other.

Why is everybody fighting against you?

Her family didn't like my family. My family don't like her family. So Romeo and Juliet story.

Her family and your family don't get along, Yes, ma'am, but you're the two that are married. Yes, it doesn't really matter what her family or your family thinks.

It was a lot of stress of allowing people trying to come in between us, and it was decided that we needed a break, and we both realized that was the worst of we've ever done it. It was horrible away from each other.

There's a very old book that says, and a man shall leave his mother, and a woman shall leave her home. And what that means is that you need to break away. Not that you stop loving your parents or stop honoring your parents, but you have to make a break from your parents and establish your own life.

Yeah. Well, we have a beautiful, pretty much old daughter now and life is wonderful. I've recently got a great job and she's going to call us to be a nurse, and life is going great. And I love her so much. You know, she completes me.

She really does well.

Do me a favor.

If anybody suggests again that they know better what you should be doing in your married life, suggests that they mind their own business.

Yes, i'ned that I've learned that. But where my love and art?

Welcome to the Delilah Show.

Who is this?

Hi?

This is Jackie.

What can I do for you?

Well?

Actually, my boyfriend of the year we got into an argument last week and I don't know, like I felt really distanced from him lately, and I don't know if he's listening, but I just was hoping that you could play a song for us.

So what was this little argument over I.

Want to go back to school and his life is headed in a different direction, and I don't know if I'm going to be moving And you know, we haven't been together very long, and we're both really young, and so it's just kind of hard to know where our lives are leading us. And so you know, we just kind of argued about what we were going to do, and so it's really tough.

But how old are you?

I'm eighteen.

Well here's a concept. Why don't you cross that bridge when you get to it? Yep? I mean, instead of future tripping and trying to decide what's going to happen, why don't you just love each other and enjoy each other this company, and have a great summer and wait and see what happens once that happens.

I think that's a wonderful idea, Delilah.

I mean, if you live in the hour, if you live in this moment, if you live in the day that God has given you, then the future will take.

Care of itself.

Honey, alrighty, but if you spend all your time and energy worrying about what's going to happen in the future and are we going to be able to stay together and should we date other people? And it's too many miles and blah blah blah blah blah, you'll not only mess up your future, you'll be messing up here here and now.

Yeah, you're right. I hope he's listening, because I wishly could have heard that you said that too. I don't think I could tell him as well as you just did.

Oh, I think you can.

All right, Thank you so much, Jelilah.

All right, good night, honey, good night. Hi Sean. What can I do for you?

Well, I don't know right now with the caller, but we're having a bit of a trouble in our relationship, Like right now we're separated temporarily because me.

And my significant other who may not be my significant other, because I don't know if we're going to make it work, but I really want it to work because I love.

Her with all my heart and soul.

Exactly is that.

Where you're at?

Exactly? You always know it?

What led to.

This separation between you and what's her?

Name.

Her name's Chelsea.

What happened with you and Chelsea that you're in this quandary?

Well, basically we were. We had a big fight and then over what she was talking to her ex boyfriend, who we've had problems with in the past.

We've had problems with. Obviously, if she's talking to him, she's not having problems with it.

Well, she had a problem with him in the past, but she got over it and I never did.

She's still emotionally connected to her ax, which drives you nuts. Yes, and for whatever reason, she can't let go of that emotional tie and still Oh.

Yes, she told me today that she that it was over between them and now she's devoted to me, and that made me really happy. And I just wanted to see if you can play a song for us that shows her that I forgive her and I understand.

But what's to forgive, honey. She's not in the wrong for no.

She I don't know how to say it, but.

I'm saying, if she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend, that's not something she can control.

Yes, I know that, it's just that she in a way has deceived me.

Okay, so she can control the line.

But if she still is emotionally connected to him, that's not something that can be wished away or made to go away, or you know, she can be honest with you about it, but if they still.

Have an emotional sort of the deception, she lied a lot about the situation. That's the main part of it.

Why are you wanting to stay in a relationship with somebody who is not emotionally.

Available to you?

Well, now, after talking to her today before she went into work, she explained everything to me and it said that she is now and I'm giving her a second chance because I believe that everyone deserves a second chance.

Everyone does deserve a second chance. So I'm glad you guys are working it out.

Good luck, sweetheart, Thank you, Hi Will, This is Delilah. What can I do for you tonight?

The middle of a divorce and the child custody battle, and I know the relationship's over, but trying to get over it's been a real struggle with me because I have a lot of history with my wife and she's got a lot of mental problems and addictions, and I still have feelings for even though I know that it's for the best, and I'm trying to get that through to my own head. I find it difficult every day

Does it end?

When does your heart stop loving her? I guess when you love somebody with all of your heart, even though you see that it's not healthy, you see that it's not good, you see that it's destroying you, you still love them. The love doesn't go away. But what you have to do is decide, Okay, I love her, I will always love her, but I cannot be in relationship with her because it hurts too bad. Right, you have to get to a point where you can accept that somebody you love is not somebody that you can be

No, I can't.

If your heart doesn't love again for years, it may take a long time.

Who knows.

It was twenty years for me before my my heart felt right and at home again, that I was able to truly give myself completely.

But I still had a full life in that time.

I just didn't allow myself. It's not that I didn't allow myself. I couldn't be in love because I wasn't in love. Let me find a song for you.

Thanks you for talking with me.

I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah to Lo.