Welcome to Heroic Man. This is your daily call to adventure, guys, and we're going and continuing on the trail that we've been blazing on values. So you've seen. Yes, Benjamin. Share about values today. OK, people, before we share our values, OK, people, I'm, I'm going to repeat it, right? But again, like I said last week, right, So Gabel Ottingen is a professor at UCLA and she's, she is the world's leading researcher on the signs of goal attachment, I mean, of goal achievement, right?
And, and, and, and like I said last week, in the week before when we started discussing values, right, it is literally impossible. Like the, the neuroscience of it, right? And, and, and there, there are literally hundreds of thousands of, of, of research papers have been written on, on what the fuck it takes to, to, to, to be able to achieve and set goals, right? And, and the number one thing, right, is that you will only ever set goals and achieve goals if, if you know your, your
values. I'm going to repeat this for you guys, guys, it's so important, right? And we, we discussed it last week and, and we need to look at our lives and ask ourselves, well, I've been doing this entrepreneurial thing. I've been working for someone else three years, four years, seven years. And yet I'm, I'm still far, far, far away from, from, from, from the goals that I've set. And, and then we have to ask
ourselves, why is that right? And, and, and the number one reason literally is because we run our businesses, we lead our lives. We, we need our relationships, right? And, and, and, and the things that, that we've said for ourselves and not only, I never, ever aligned with our values, right?
And, and, and so ask yourself, like if, if, as we talked about last week, right, these 10 categories, right, are scientifically proven right to be the, the, the, the 10 things that, that, or the 10 values that you need to build your life, your relationship, your business, your career around, right? What is it in you right? Where they spot X your lizard brain, your, your or whatever, right? That, that, that is stopping you right, from, from actually paying attention right?
To, to, to, to, to, to, to, to being fully conscious right about these, these categories, right, And, and again so quickly right. The, the, the, the, the those same categories. Intimate relationships are #1 #2 family relationships #3 friendships and other relationships #4 your physical and psychological health #5 your spirituality. Number six, your finances #7 you're learning #8 your work #9 your environment and #10 your civic duties. Let me repeat this for you guys.
So #1 intimate relationships, right #2 family relationships #3 friendships and other relationships. Number four, health #5 spirituality #6 finances #7 learning #8 work #9 environment #10 civic duties. OK, so last week we does everyone have that? You guys have the the 10 categories they're. In the chart. Right, and, and so last week we discussed intimate relationships, family relationships, friendships and other relationships, health, spirituality, finances, learning, right?
And today we, we're going to quickly discuss, discuss work environment and civic duties and then do, do an exercise, right? So, so when it comes to work right, again, work right is an incredibly important part of our life, right? And, and Sigmund Freud said right, the, the, the, the, the, the difference between someone right, very psychologically healthy, right, and, and, and someone that, that, that, that that suffers from, from, from, from neuroticism, right?
And, and every other psychologist from Freud onwards, right? They say the same thing, right? Is it? They literally are two categories of of of of of of of of improvement or, or two roles that we play in life. Number one is, is work, right? And, and, and #2 is our relationship or love, right? Which is why we talked about intimate family and family relationships and friendships and other relationships last week, right? I'm going to repeat this for you
guys. So, so every psychologist, right, from Freud to today's behavioral therapist, right? Say the same thing, right? There literally are only two things, right? They, they, they, they, they differentiate as between someone who's psychologically healthy and someone, right, who is neurotic and someone who is psychopathological. It is #1 right, The, the, the role that I play in terms of my work and #2 is the role that I that I play in term of my love, right?
And, and if I'm not, if I'm not optimizing and actualizing those two roles, well, guess what? I'm psychologically unhealthy. I'm stuck. Do you guys see this, that those two things right? The, the reason why, why so many of us are stuck, so many of us engage in, in destructive behaviors, right is because we, we, we have not made a considerate, committed effort, right to work on those two things. And and so work guys is an incredibly important part of life, right.
Then whether you run your own business, whether you work for someone else, right? Our our our work offers as an opportunity for personal growth because let's say again, right, your career in in your business, right? Will, will, will only ever grow to to the level that that you as a person have grown, right? Do you see this? The, the work is such an important part of life that that it it, it offers us an opportunity for personal growth,
right? It, it offers us an opportunity for, for growing our income right. And again, right, you will never, ever grow your income, right without also insuring right, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that your personal growth, right? Is, is, is, is aligned with with your income guys. And, and, and again, just look at your life and look at your income. Yes, you can say I've, I've done personal development work, right? I've read the books, I've done the causes, right?
But, but, but again, right, measure, measure your, from the day that you started doing personal development work today, right? Then ask yourself, like if you were one or two when you started, right? Are you fucking 10 today, right? And, and, and if you aren't, if you're still stuck at a #3 and #4 right, then look at your income, right? And look at your level of work.
And, and I can guarantee you, right, that, that your income, right, is, is absolutely right related to, to, to, to how little personal development or not even personal personal development is the wrong word. Personal growth, right? Whether you've actually grown, right, and, and whether your growth has actually matched your income. And, and, and the third thing that that that work offers us,
right, is socialization. And again, guys, which is why, right, there's a whole idea of solar entrepreneurship, right? Goes against everything that, that, that, and especially for men, not Even so much for women, but for men, right? Solo entrepreneurship goes literally against the grain, right, of everything that we understand about, about how, how us as men, right, if literally evolved, right, that, that, that, that that work has to provide socialization.
So if you're sitting at home all day by yourself, I'm saying, well, I'm running my business, I'm not interacting with people, not socializing with people, not seeing another person, right? Well, guess what, right? Then Then ask yourself, right, literally right, there is a, there is a, a reason for why, right? Both your personal growth and, and, and your income are, are stagnant. You, you guys, I'm going to repeat this for you guys, because work is such an, an important part of all of our
lives. Those three things, personal growth, income and socialization, right? Literally right, cannot exist without the the other in, in terms of, of, of, of, of, of your work, right? And and so in, in, in terms of, of there are four key components of work, right? Our physical work environment, right, our social relationships with other people, whether it's coworkers, whether it's our employees, whether it's my boss,
my customers, whatever, right? The actual job I do, right, and the earnings that benefits that are associated. What would that work? I'm repeat that for you guys that work. If work is a value, some values for work, right? Literally number one, my physical work environment, right? Ask yourself, right, if you're working from home, right? Like what, what does your current physical work
environment say about you? Right #2 social relationships with, with other people, whether it's your coworkers, your boss, your employees, your, your clients, etcetera, etcetera. Number #3 the, the, the actual work that you do, right? And, and #4 your earnings and, and benefits that are associated with your jobs, right? Doesn't make sense to you Can, can, can you guys see this ask you something in terms of all of those things, right? What would you rate each of
those things? So #1 your personal growth, right? On a scale of one to 10, what is that? Your income, right? On a scale of 10, what, what is it your socialization on a scale of one to 10, right, How high, what does it rank? And and then the four key components of of work, your physical work environment, your social relationships, the actual job that you're actually doing, right? Is that something that actually putting you in a state of flow
all of the time, right? Or, or you just mean it because someone told you, well, you know what pen go be a be a copywriter, right? You don't actually like doing the thing you're doing, but but or, or, or your coach or whatever. But you do need because other people, because you saw other people doing and making money, right? And and then earnings and benefits, yeah, associated with the job that you're doing. Are you actually making money, right?
On a scale of one to 10, right? Where do you rank it down of that right, guys? And again, right, again, it all of us will, will, will, will value different things related to work, right? And so some of us value the actual work itself, right? And, and we, we view it as an Ave. for personal expression and fulfillment. And some of you might see, see the job, right? It's a paycheck, right? And you value the, the, the, the salary you get from it and the benefits above all else, right?
And some people might, might like the work environment, right? I have a friend, right, who, who does fishing is a living right. And even more than the actual fishing, he just loves being out at sea, right? And, and, and, and just just the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the opportunity to be out there, right, and experiencing the, the great expense of the sea, right? I, I know in, in our family business, some, some of our
truck drivers, right? They, absolutely the thing that they value the most, right, is, is just the, the, the, the ability to be on the open road, right, and not be, be stuck in, in one of our manufacturing plants, right? I, I, I know some, some university professors, right? Love, love the stage right in, in, in, in, in, in, in.
They, they love the podium that they, they they've been elect in, in election hall office, right in, in, in, in, in, in other people right above all else, value the personal relationship that they establish with, with, with the clients, with the employees, with their colleagues, with their bosses or whatever. Any questions so far, Ben? No, no, the way that I've always seen it is that the the ones that you don't pay attention to are often the ones that come and
bite you in the ass. You know, like real, like quite early on in my coaching career, I remember going through values with people and, and it was always the ones that they valued least that was the ones that thwarted their progress. You know, I think about this guys, is that we were to just look through the the chat and that list that was put up about values and just go actually, you know what, yeah, which one is the lowest? Which one is like a 01/2 or
three? And like that is the one that's you, you will inevitably move forward in these as you do personal growth, but it's that one that's the lowest that generally ends up sabotaging long term progress. Like just a little example of this is that, for example, I, I've met with guys that they had great, great businesses, they had money, they had a great family and then they just were super overweight and their health was in tatters. And that was the thing that just bothered them the most.
And they, they would struggle with it enormously. Equally, there was guys that had really, really great health, but they were broke. So think about, think about what that is for you, because that's the one that just with a little, you know, just a bit of attention, you can take it from A3 to a six quite easily normally as well. Is that the? Is that is that the question we should pose for today, you're saying because. No, no, we, we, we're going to do a proper exercise.
But guys, before we, before I get to the exercise, just want to quickly discover, discuss and discuss, discuss environment, right? So, so environment can be broken down into micro and macro levels, right? And so most of us haven't actually thought about it like this, right? So, so, so, so our micro environment includes our immediate surroundings, the, the, the, the home we live in, the neighborhood we live in the, the, the down the city we live in and, and on and on, right?
And, and our micro environment might also include things like like, like like air and water quality, my, my, my privacy, my safety, my recreational opportunities, right? And, and the macro environment on, on the other is broader, right? And and and and encompasses things such as the, the, the straight and country where the state and country where I live, right? Or, or, or, or, or or the world at large, right?
And, and and, and again, right, whether your microenvironment right or your microenvironment right? Ask yourself right, right now on a scale of one to 10, right, your, your, your current home, right? Are you happy with it? In a scale of one to 10, your neighbourhood, right, the town that you live in, the city that you live in, right. So I know, for example, Ben, right, didn't got at some point got bust off at his macro
environment, right. He didn't want to live in in Wales and be constrained by by the economic opportunity in Northern Wales. So he chose to he and probably chose to change it by moving to Dubai, right? But again, but you see how there's a feedback look, because now he lives in Dubai, right? It also has a huge impact on his microenvironment, right? The neighborhood that he lives in, the house that he lives in, right? And on and on, right? The, he is quality of life,
right? The privacy, recreational opportunities and on and on and on. So, so guys, what you want to do in terms of environment, right is evaluate both your micro environment and your micro environment, right? And, and, and, and ask yourself, right, how is your current micro macro environment actually right? What are your values about those things, right? And how are they actually affecting your level of happiness? So now people, the exercise for the day quickly, right?
So we, we've got the, the, the, the 10 categories right? In, in, in, in, in, in, in, in sorting them through them can get pretty confusing, right? I, I, I get that, right? And so a useful way, not usual useful way, right? I usually write an exercise that I usually do with my clients, right, which is actually a useful way to help them to do this, right? Imagine, right, that you sorting
through the mail, right? And, and putting individual value positions, right, AKA the letters into the appropriate slots. So, so, so imagine, right, that, that, that, that, that you sort into your mail right in, in, in, in, in your value positions, those value categories, right? You're literally assorting, assorting through them, right? And putting them right into the appropriate mailboxes. And so each, so these 10 mailboxes, each of the 10 mailboxes are one of the 10 categories, right?
And So what you're going to do is you're going to spend at least 30 minutes in our, in our, in this exercise, right? And and, and, and and the way we do this exercise, right is either so you don't have to leave your house and go to to a stationary store if you don't have stationary to do this exercise. So, so either you want right to buy one of those stand start organizers from your local
office supply store, right? Or, or, or you can make one up right using ten of those Manila folders, right? And, and fasten IT security, secure security securely, right to a poster board or to a piece of wood and in, in, in, in, in in either case, what you want to do is you're going to label the slots, right? Or, or the folders with these stand titles. So it doesn't make sense to you guys. So, So what you need to do is, is you need to get get off your ass.
Go go to one of your local stationary stores. If you don't have the material at home, right? And, and, and you want to buy either one of those stand slot organizers, right? Or, or make one using those Manila folders or envelopes, right? Which you're in the fasten securely to a poster ball or to a piece of wood in in either case, you you want to label the slots or or or the folders, right, with these ten titles.
So intimate relationships, family relationships, friendships and other relationships, health search, reality, finances, learning, work, the environment and your civic duties, right? And then what you want to do, right, is you want to get yourself 5 inch by 8 inch index cards or file cards or whatever you call it in your little corner of the world, right? And then you want to answer the the the following value questions.
OK, so, so the, the, the first part to your organizer slots or, or envelopes attached to a board or whatever #2 right, you, you, you want 5 inch by 8 inch index cards or file cards, whatever. And and, and then you, you want to answer the following value questions for each category, right? So you say to yourself, what, what exactly the question is, what exactly do I value about right intimate relationships? And you fill in the category, right?
And and, and and you can have more than one value for each category. So for example, right, you might say, what exactly do I value about intimate relationships, right? And so your answer could be, I value having someone who shares my love. I value having a single sexual partner, or I value having multiple sexual partners. I value having someone with whom I can share my deepest thoughts and feelings. I value having a close companion to share each day with.
Does it make sense to you guys? So what do you want to do for each of those value categories? Ask the question, what exactly do I value about right? And then write that answer on, on, on, on, on an index card, right? And again, for each of the categories, you, you can have one or you can have multiple answers. And So what you want to do is you want to spend at least 30 minutes to an hour, right? And, and take your time and even
longer if you want to, right? And, and, and work through each of those, those value categories. What, what we don't want to do is we don't want to judge your values, right? We want to accept them for what they are, right? And then we want to put them in the proper place, right? And then on, on our next goal, we, we, we will do an exercise to, to actually rank them later. But for now, right, we just want to spend time categorizing and sorting through them.