Even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, feel confident and seated in yourself, there can be new situations when you recon with an unexpected and uncomfortable need to please or be liked by others that even if you disagree with it logically– can betray your intellect. This is a response that is often triggered by new social situations or conditions that remove you from your definition of self. It might happen when you’re entering a tightknit group that is not based in “who you are” or grow...
Feb 25, 2025•43 min
I think one primal fear inherent in ego is that we are somehow inadequate, that we are unworthy and need to stave off this possible truth. The other side of this coin is an expectation that we can and should be perfect. Which is not only impossible and false, but also a harmful ideal even if it were attainable. It’s based in a belief that perfect is good. That fear of being inadequate is also the hidden truth that causes a lot of reactivity, judginess, defensiveness, and also increases our need ...
Feb 15, 2025•55 min
If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move throug...
Jan 30, 2025•58 min
Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever yo...
Jan 24, 2025•5 min
‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partn...
Jan 15, 2025•44 min
Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo 192 Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701 193 Getting in the energy path of change https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701 201 Working with the energy of scarcity...
Jan 03, 2025•28 min•Ep. 240
This episode is all tools for stepping back from the process of negative rumination and choosing a different path: awareness, neutrality and openness. A lot of what we live through is created in our mind, and thoughts catalyze more similar thoughts. When it comes to negative rumination, a lot of these thought sequences are based in old, strong emotional imprints from long ago that are triggered in the present. When we get into a negative thought loop, a sequence of feelings is created by an init...
Dec 18, 2024•43 min•Ep. 239
This is a GREAT podcast for moms that I have learned a lot from. It’s called “3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms” – it’s hosted by Rachel Nielson, a mom who seeks out the advice professionals for actionable advice around child-rearing. Rachel is a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting. I’m a mom so I am always looking for podcasts that help with child-rearing. In this excerpt from episode 401 of 3 in 30, Rachel interview...
Dec 13, 2024•9 min
This is an episode aimed at being connected to yourself in a loving way and coming from compassion with others in your life. It’s an invitation to connect to yourself and others more deeply. Grace is defined as courteous goodwill or (in religious terms) the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. I am using this term “grace” to refer to a resting state of love and receptivity. This is how we can be of service to others and also how we expand our quality of life. The greatest path to a fee...
Dec 04, 2024•49 min•Ep. 242
This is for relationships that can be best described as dry kindling: dealing, politely, but no warmth or closeness. Maybe you feel your partner is critical, that you are invisible, and when fights occur, they go to DEFCON level 1 instantly, and nothing gets resolved, the loop only resets. So in the day to day, there’s little connection between you. If this sounds familiar, I want you to imagine you and your partner are in a glass display. Like a window at a store. Close to 90% of all communicat...
Nov 21, 2024•51 min•Ep. 237
This is for anyone who has done self-work and is reentering a family situation where you know you have triggers. It’s so you can stay above the loops that tend to get us feeling angry, hurt or defensive – feeling like a child once again. If you’ve been healthier outside of a particular family dynamic, it can feel like you are getting pulled back into a stew of old feelings– even when everyone in the group has the best intentions and is doing their best to be loving. Projection is a massive piece...
Nov 06, 2024•49 min
“I’m ugly” “I should be better by now” “I’m a terrible mother” “My relevance is over” “I’m old”… Everybody has these thoughts. They are average. What matters is whether or not you engage with the thoughts and follow their tangent. You can quite literally start thinking ANYTHING repeatedly and you will start to see it as true. There is no such thing as true or not true, only what you experience through your own lens. The way the brain works is via comparison. It’s a threat-calculator – a unique a...
Oct 25, 2024•54 min•Ep. 229
A lot of people fall in love with a person they see another person COULD be and not who they currently are. I was this way for a long time and yet I couldn’t see the pattern in my choices. Often we become so attached to a person after seeing their awesome potential and we hold on, despite bad behavior, for that person to reappear. We over-function to help them get somewhere new, thinking we are helping and changing something when we are not. Often that means living through months or years of bad...
Oct 10, 2024•1 hr•Ep. 234
This is for breaking out of cycles caused by vulnerability and anxiety – whether that’s your own mind or a common interaction with a loved one. What I am talking about are moments when you take another person’s feelings, personally. When we get triggered by their emotional response, we get defensive which creates distance and or hurt. That sequence is what I am creating an intervention around with this episode. This is also about reseating yourself in what I would call neutrality and openness: r...
Sep 27, 2024•56 min•Ep. 233
Guilt is like a gut punch that doesn’t stop. The loss of meaning is like a thick layer of glass in front of your eyes. It’s like a constant reminder that you are not who you aspire to be. Something is not aligned in who you are. There’s also the kind of guilt you feel when you know rationally that you should not feel guilty – like you are betraying a part of yourself that is real and cannot sever an old allegiance. In this episode, I am going to try and open up some air around the source of your...
Sep 13, 2024•59 min•Ep. 232
This is about growing your soul by doing the real work that will advance you. Seeing the muscle that needs work. I’m inviting you to choose to work on a coping mechanism that hurts you. To see around it – separate it from your person, and take apart its inner workings. I think a lot of people keep themselves small or keep themselves occupied in things like relationships as a means to stave of feelings of pain. The pain results from an original wound that feels so vague and powerful that we stop ...
Aug 30, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 231
Have you lost a bit of shine and joy? This is a path back to gratitude and hope. This is an energy tuning episode all about restoring limitlessness and optimism on a mindset level but it also relates to being a good person, friend and parent. It’s about being conscious and responsible with your energy and tuning it to support openness and rationality. Never forget: Energy is a chain reaction: what we put out changes others, and also changes what comes our way. Think of yourself like a tuning for...
Aug 15, 2024•46 min•Ep. 230
How do you move through life? Is it with a sense of “time unfolds for me” or is it more “Hurry! I need to catch up!” Let’s curate more joy in the world around ourselves and change our perspective toward “life is happening for me, there is enough, no need to hurry.” Another name for this episode was 'a thousand points of light' because we can affect our sum with small tweaks and additions. When we draw boundaries around our time and step back from mentally being two places at once, our entire exp...
Aug 02, 2024•48 min•Ep. 229
The inner committee is what I am focusing on in this episode. By that I mean the cast of characters in your mind that voice fears, judgements, criticisms, rules for what you can and will do, and generally limit your beliefs about your life. I sometimes refer to our mind as a stage on which actors perform scenes. “You” – the holistic, reflective self, are not your thoughts but rather a wiser presence. I sometimes refer to this as “the silent watcher” or “inner child.” That awareness takes in all ...
Jul 18, 2024•57 min•Ep. 228
If you are feeling pissed off, having angry outbursts, trending toward negativity, and feeling a sense of doom, there’s a likelihood that you are burned out. This is an episode inviting you to step back and recalibrate when “the pot is full,” so to speak. This isn’t about dismantling what’s working if you are currently high functioning and getting shit done. It’s about creating some air or wiggle room in the face of that burned-outness, and with that shifting your direction toward health and pos...
Jul 06, 2024•39 min•Ep. 227
This is a conversation with Zak Rosen of “The Best Advice Show” all about how small acts make massive waves of change outwards. This is a feel-good show all about changes that affect the arc of life: the small, conscious tweaks we make change our trajectory in terms of happiness and overall quality of life. And the advice you hear in this episode is not necessarily what you’d expect–it’s grounded, simple, and life-altering. If you guys want to hear the episode mentioned when Zak interviewed me o...
Jun 19, 2024•58 min•Ep. 226
This is about escaping a relationship that you cannot seem to leave but you know 1000% that you are extremely unhappy staying in it. When we watch ourselves in a state of inaction, we assume it to be your truth. Ambivalence, rumination and a state of paralysis when it comes to a relationship–that you are clearly unhappy in– are very common. This is what I would call an invisible wall made up of the old rules, fears and traumas of your upbringing. Often the ambivalence is rooted in an inability t...
Jun 06, 2024•49 min•Ep. 225
This is for seeing a wall or a low point as an opportunity for transformation. This is an episode for moving out of a state of woe. When we surrender and deliberately hold ourselves as we “pass” the pain, this is when new doors open and we grow amazing new capacities. The aim of this episode is to start floating atop top the water versus fighting it, when you’re in a place of resistance and suffering. Other names for this episode were ‘Being happy when others in your life aren’t’ and ‘Welcoming ...
May 23, 2024•51 min•Ep. 224
This episode is about taking stock of a relationship and deciding how you feel about it in an honest way. Maybe you’re considering a breakup, or you don’t know that just yet but you’re not happy with how things are. One way to tell how we feel about someone is to examine our own behavior: the things we are doing on a loop. When we can see a fight loop, we can see perhaps we are not accepting the truth of who someone is, or we can see our own unmet needs arising. This is how we move forward and g...
May 08, 2024•53 min•Ep. 223
This episode marks 10 years of Help Me Be Me! This is about knowing thyself and feeling grounded and resourced in that self. Being guided by and making decisions from your values, not your weaknesses. It’s all about “coming home to yourself” as a means to feel grounded: what that means to me, plus tools for that in the face of social pressures and relationships. In moments when you feel hurt, unpopular, clingy or less-than, come back home to a wisdom of self: what do YOU hold to be sacred, cool ...
Apr 23, 2024•43 min•Ep. 222
We all grow, mature and become different people, however sometimes we cannot see that change or those around us cannot see it. This is about redefining yourself to yourself. Allowing room to witness yourself, anew. Especially in the face of people who treat us based off an old identity. This episode has exercises to help you see where you are headed and mark the change you’ve made over the past year. It’s also for examining your actions as a means to map out your internal allegiances. Often we c...
Apr 12, 2024•47 min•Ep. 221
Think of this episode as a memory to be conjured. A memory of the truth of yourself: your power and goodness, and that you feel more present on the ride that is your life. It’s easy to live out a perspective fixated on what you haven’t done right or what is just out of reach. To reduce life to transactions versus a felt sense of magic. This episode is kind of “hippy” in that it’s got some guided imageries. Reason being, a lot of us don’t see the greatness in ourselves unless we are given a power...
Mar 28, 2024•44 min•Ep. 220
This is about having a loving mindset as we move through our life. What does that mean? It means feeling complete and having an inner sense of safety. From here we do not feel lack when we interact with others. Nothing is “at us” and even when someone does mean us harm, it does not land. This is the energetic state where we can be the most effective, creative, wise. So really the question becomes – how do we deliberately CURATE this state in our lives? I have some tuning exercises for this in pa...
Mar 13, 2024•58 min
There are many phases to a long-term partnership – many moons. When it comes to long-term partnerships, we are traveling through a human existence which includes dealing with that pain of our own identity. That pain then interacts and affects our partner, which can define the kinds of conflicts we perceive are happening. This is about how to humanely deal with the pain of miscommunication and unmet needs in long-term, intimate relationships. Many relationship issues don’t have “correct” solution...
Feb 28, 2024•51 min•Ep. 218
So much of our ability to enjoy and live a rich life comes down to our frame: how we interpret the ingredients and recognize “what is.” We also expect a TON from ourselves: We are constantly lamenting what we didn’t do, the thing that we failed at, how we fucked up this or that thing in our life, where we are still falling short. We have a very inhumane set of expectations around what we ask of ourselves: I am talking about overworking, overscheduling, overdemanding. At the cost of…happiness. A ...
Feb 14, 2024•1 hr
