You're listening to another Mia podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We have recorded this podcast on the Gatagoul people of the Eur Nation. We pay our respects to their elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Rate islander cultures.
Hi, it's Anali's Todd here from this Glorious Mess, introducing hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across the Mummamere network, just for you to escape the chaos and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather warming up. We've got episodes of Parents' Anonymous to share. Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You share your deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,
so really you can't lose. And if you want more, there's a link in the show.
Enjoy Parents Anonymous.
Welcome to this Glorious Mess.
I'm Analy's Todd, one brazzled ring master trying to tame a two ring circus of hormonal preteens and barely keeping this shit show on the road.
OW that sounds like a fun time. And I'm Stacey Hicks. I'm the deputy editor here at Mama Meha and I was a type A perfectionist and a control freak until I had a toddler who now controls everything.
I would like more drama for your intro next. Oh sorry, feedback?
Okay, all right, welcome back to Parents Anonymous. It brought to you by this glorious mess.
Yes, and Parents Anonymous is part church confessional, part game show. So it's where you tell us a story and get the guilt of your chest and we give you made up points based on just how juicy the stories are. And there's no real method to our point system. It's just based on vibes. Vibe check. Yeah, it's just a vibe check with except last week I actually revealed one of my own confessions and scored an eleven out of ten.
So clearly we're doing something wrong with the rating system. Yes, because it was a good one.
It was my highest scoring system yet.
Yeah, and you're a tough marker.
Actually am Actually Yeah.
And if you missed the episode, we'll pop it in the show notes. I had to maguiver in a situation where I was busting for the actually, I'm not gonna give it all away. You go back and listen to the episode. But speaking about it in the office, it obviously became big chatter here.
Any emojis ensued.
What of our colleagues said to me, Oh, yeah, we've all done it, have we?
I don't. I don't know if we have me.
I don't know if I haven't.
I have not didn't share it with the soul for three years, so that tells me that we probably don't like That's how deep the shame was. But maybe she was just trying to make me feel better. It was good that you released it, Yes, physically and metaphorically release safe space.
Yeah, I'm just.
Waiting for you to reveal one of your secrets now.
Well, that will happen when you are least expecting it. Stacy can't wait, and this show doesn't exist without your guilty confession, So please leave us a voice note, or if you want to be fully anonymous, let's see if I've learnt to say, and we can protect your annomin note.
I can't stay an anominy to you.
Next week you can email us and we can read it out for you and just have a look in the show.
Notes for all of your confession options.
Yes, last week I submitted my confession fully anonymously. Not even our producer Grace or an Alice knew that it was me, so proof that it works, no one will ever know it's you. So to get us in the mood for confessing, we're just going to throw out a few of our little mini confessions to make you feel better, to make you feel safe with us. You know, we are hot messes. We do stuff all the time. We're terrible, terrible, terrible and sufferable people.
So humans. Really, it's just a little warm up.
Yeah, these aren't too bad. But one of mine is that when my daughter was at that point where there about one or two where they just want to grab everything that you have, and she used to be obsessed with my phone.
Monkey see monkey do.
Yeah, well yeah, I'm not setting a grade room.
Ah.
She used to want to just grab it and slob her all over it. So I used to sometimes pretend I was reading a book, but really I had my phone inside the book, so you were Wow, she wasn't interested in my book.
So you were hiding your phone behind a book in front of your child.
I regret nothing. It was great. Actually it's good.
And also it's better modeling.
Exactly pick up your book, girls, look at mummy, perfect example.
That's actually genius. The modeling you well done.
And mine is a parenting strategy that I probably wouldn't recommend, but look, it does work. I don't know if it's potential trauma impacting to the children, but sometimes, because I'm a single parent, so when my kids are really kicking off and fighting and they're not listening to me and I just can't get them to stop, sometime I will just pretend to have a little.
Teary and say I can't, guys, I.
Can't, you know, I'll pretend to cry as a defense mechanism. I imagine in the wild, in the jungle, like some animals play dead.
It's like that. It's like just playing dead.
I can just imagine the beautiful little single tear trickling down your cheek. I bet you can cry.
I feel like crying just now thinking about it. I'm so well versed at it.
Such a method, actress. I love it. So. On today's show, we have three new mystery confessions that we haven't heard, so we're hearing these for the very first time. And this week. The names of them are. Bribery is always on the cards, always correct. Did I waste emergency services time? Oh god, another one of these?
Wow?
Okay, sorry to our frontline workers. And am I missing something?
My son was getting really nervous in soccer, and it was in all honesty making him play badly. It was and he didn't like the sport or I was forcing him. He loved training. It was just the games where he got really in his head. So after weeks of this, I said, if you can kick one goal, I will.
Literally buy you anything. Anything's in all capitals.
My wife was not super supportive of this, as it was just bribery, not encouragement, but I told him the bet.
Was still on a bet. It's interesting, you said, language will unpack that.
Anyway, he went out and played the best game and kicked two goals. Sure it was straight up bribery, but it got him out of his head. Say see, I would argue, this is not bribery. This is recognition and reward system exactly.
This is an achievement plan.
Yes, we have to do this in work, we're measured on metrics and results and success in primary school, high school, adult. This is a realistic thing that we all have to live by. Recently we had the Olympics, We've got the Paralympics. This is gold medals. They're not just giving out participation medals. It's gold, silver, and bronze. You are rewarded for excellence. And I would argue that this is rewarding this soccer player for excellence.
I love it. I am concerned by the use of the word anything, yes, because I feel like kids, you give them an inch, they will take a mile. I would love to know what he ended up picking.
Same like you know, I'm just thinking a.
Robot, Yeah, like a like was it a PS five? Yes, it would have been something like that, wouldn't it. And two goals? Does that mean he got to pick two things two of the same two ps fives. I feel like you've got to put them some conditions in place in these Cozi lefts dives.
Yeah, So for that, I think this is great. And you know what people do stick a charts.
I think this is the only the only thing here is really just the use of the word anything yep in these cause he lives times yep. So I would say everything else in this is a parenting strategy.
Win I'm going to go eight soccer balls out of ten.
Yeah, I think that's fair. This is just positive reinforcement. This is like, you know, every time the dog goes outside, do we and you did?
Good boy?
This is just that toilet training for soccer.
Yes, exactly, love it, love it. I will give you nine soccer balls out of ten.
I love it all right.
All right, on to the next And the next one is called did I waste emergency services time? And I think if you're asking the question, the answer is probably yes.
It's good self reflection though, that's yeah, first up.
Yeah, but here we go. One night, my child was screaming like she was in a horrific pain. It was scary and so full on. I thought something terrible was going on to her internal organs. Oh, that's sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. That's awful. I called an ambulance. They arrived, all sirens and two paramedics. They diagnosed the problem pretty quickly. Though. It was a night terror. Oh oh look, my little one has night terrors. Sometimes it is very dramatic. It does feel like a very scary thing.
In the middle of the night, when your child is screaming, it's your worst fear as a mom that your child is in pain. It's fight or flight, and you went with fight. You went after right.
To the emergency services system and come to my house and reassure me.
You know. Once actually I called the police because there was four intruders in my backyard when I was eighteen. It was first time having the whole house to myself. My parents were away. It was four of my mates that rocked up and thought it would be funny to scare me, and three police cast And that's.
A waste of emergency.
It's just like we actually had one of our confessions on an early episode. We'll share the link in our show notes where someone actually staged a breaking into situation to their children to see if they would call the police, and they did. Now, that is a waste of time. This is just probably a bit of over zealousy, first time parenting, not knowing the signs.
You know what you could do.
There's great phone numbers you can call before you call the ambulance, I'm.
Sure, but the worst thing would be if you didn't call and then something horrible was happening. So I feel like the fast response time you have to get a few bonus points for that, you.
Know, and when it comes to health and safety, it's better just to just call.
So I think, you know.
I just think you didn't waste their time. But now you know about the night terrors. It's a learning but I think it's okay. So for this one, we should deduct points for it being just a night terror. But I'm giving you some for being so quick and caring about your kids. So I'm going to give you seven nightmares out of ten.
I'm gonna give you six ambulance as well.
I love it.
I think if this person or anyone.
Really feels some stress in the future, we can just give you a little guided meditation. You can just come back to episode yep, and you can just play it and you can just immerse yourself.
Are you guiding this?
Are you that we can both guide week and birth guy? You are doing a good job. Everything will be okay.
Children are said to try us. It is all okay.
And it's probably just a night terror. But you're not a terrible parent.
You're a great parent. Actually you're a terrific parent. So okay, that's enough of that. We hope you're sufficiently calm, and we've.
Got one more dilemma to bring it homestays coming up after the All right, stay's last dilemma for today? Am I missing something?
Bring it on?
I've been reading some friends Facebook posts recently about their kids, and they read you are my whole world. All I need is you, and you are my wildest dream come true. My confession is that I don't feel this way about my son, even though I love him very much.
I just wonder if these people are happier than I am, and I wonder if they're lying.
As a working mum, I've chosen to pursue a career in addition to motherhood. I have dreams and a life outside of my son. Motherhood is far from.
Magical, but it is good, the hardest job I'll ever love.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way right now.
First of all, we just need to caveat.
We are not opening the working and non working mother debate.
We are not entering into that trope.
We are not kicking that can because we are all about being united. It's not about working and not working. It is about expressing your love publicly to the world on Facebook.
And I have thoughts.
As much as you love your child. They're not on your Facebook. No, why are you writing little love poems to them on there? As if they can't read, they're a bit stupid. Still, that is for you. This is a love dedication for you. Look, it's lovely. We actually shouldn't judge a bit. It's lovely that you love your child. But sometimes I feel like those things are a bit performative insufferable. Insufferable is the right word. We all love them. We all love them, we also can't stand them sometimes
depending on the time of day. So absolutely fine that you don't feel like your child is your whole world, Like we're allowed to have interests and passions outside of them.
Definitely, what are you thinking? What are these thoughts? Well, I mean I co parents, so if my kids more my whole world, I would be miserable for fifty.
Of my time and I'd be wandering around the world aimlessly. And I think it's actually really healthy to have things outside your children.
I don't think you're alone. And also I think if people really.
Do feel like that about the kids, that's okay as well.
Like I think good on you.
Like either way, if you feel like that, good and if you don't, great do you know it? Want to be a good use of time is if you wrote these feelings down in a journal that you turned into letters that you gave to your child that they could read one day yep.
Or we have an email for our daughter, so anytime we want to send her like a picture or write a little thing, so on the eve of like a birthday or something, we just send her a little email on her email address and hope that will still exist for her to look at when she's grown up. But I just I think if you're writing that your childe your whole world on your Facebook, you're lying say ha ha ha, I've.
Never seen you so hard.
I'm so harsh today.
Very feisty, and I'm here I love it.
Okay, so the judging, I fully support you. I agree they need to stop. It's annoying.
Oh I mean I'm not quite as harsh as you today, which is a first. I think that they don't need to stop. They could channel this into a little journal or email system, as we discussed, would be a more productive use of their time. And then also it might not make people who don't feel this way feel as bad that they don't feel this way. So that's in a nutshell. The email and journal love capturing system is probably the preferred communication method moving forward for expressing love
for your children. But they didn't write into us. It was the one who didn't feel this way. And it's fine that you don't feel this way. So for that, I'm giving you eight love journals out of ten.
I'm giving you nine Facebook posts out of ten. Good on you.
Okay, So, reflecting on the three confessions from the day, bribery is always on the cards, although we did declare that wasn't bribery, that was recognition and reward. Confession two did I waste emergency services time? We also declared that you didn't waste emergency services time? And Confession three? Am I missing something? No, you're not missing something. But out of the three confessions, I can't even remember the scores now we went.
To be honest, we are so rogue with our scores. I know that we probably canceled each other out. So it's more of a vibe feeling. Which one's sticking with us as the winner is the real question.
I really feel like Confession one, which we landed, was not bribery.
No, I think you're just a legend and you just know how to parent correctly.
It was a recognition and reward system. They will set them up to excel potentially in life.
Yeah, you're our winner. Confession No one.
Feshion one, non bribery is always on the cards.
If you've got a confession, we would love to hear from you. Please send us your secret shames. We can't get enough of them. All the details are in the show notes.
See you next time, See you next time.
If you're looking for something else to listen to, Mama Mia is officially presenting one hundred hours of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, beauty, and more. There's a link in the show notes.