Hey HB's! We're back with Part 2 of Helen Hoang's debut novel, The Kiss Quotient! Stella and Michael are embarking on a classic EnglandTimes fake relationship and find that they're dynamic just might be perfect. That is, of course, if Michael's past, Stella's coworker, both of their understandable insecurities, misunderstandings, and a wealthy woman with nothing to lose don't screw it up forever! Bonus Content: Face nipples, GOAT the spanish-speaking dog, more Gelato Teenager antics, Erin's view...
Jul 23, 2018•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 39
Get ready for some squee HBs, we're here gushing over the first half of The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang! Scientist/mathematician + male escort/fashion designer?! Neuroatypical heroine?! Hapa hero?! We are very here for this. Plus all the heart-felt romance and red hot sexy times you can handle. And consent! So, so much consent on the page. Melody was in hog heaven. We have limited experience with autism particularly and the neurodiverse community in general, so if you feel inspired to correct u...
Jul 16, 2018•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 38
Hey HB's! We're back for The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn! It’s a friends-to-lovers romantic comedy with some slapstick antics that had us in stitches! Rosie is an aspiring romance novelist who hasn't gone "all they way" ... or anywhere, really. Henry is her best friend of 5 years who's just biding his time until she notices him. When Rosie decides to put herself out there and have sex to gain the experience she needs for the novel (at Henry's urging), hilarity ensues. Yes, like all r...
Jul 09, 2018•2 hr 10 min•Ep. 37
Hey listener! Did you put on your big kid underwear? WELL, GET READY TO TAKE IT OFF. Ok, it's already getting weird. Gotta set the tone.... This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to conf...
Jul 02, 2018•1 hr 41 min•Ep. 36
Hey Commuters! Get ready for this super-sized episode! We read After the Wedding by Courtney Milan! He's a biracial, unrecognized nephew of an Earl. She's a Lady with a tragic past and a refusal to give up hope for lasting happiness. They're inexplicably set up and married at gunpoint by two members of the clergy! Can they find out how much they're worth while unraveling the mystery and proving the legitimacy of their annulment claim? Will they put everything to the test and choose each other fo...
Jun 25, 2018•2 hr 3 min•Ep. 35
Hey Esteemed Listener!!! We have a very special episode this week: an interview with author Sarah MacLean! Sarah is a best selling romance author, romance columnist, two time RITA Award winner, advocate, and hugely celebrated lady we have big crushes on. In this episode Melody got to sit down with Sarah to discuss her new book Wicked and the Wallflower, book 1 of her new Bareknuckle Bastard series, which comes out on June 19, 2018 (TOMORROW!!!!). She talks all about her inspiration for the Barek...
Jun 18, 2018•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 34
Hold onto your butts while we finish up The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston! There's talon sex, there are fights, there are dream demons, there's an avenging crow dog with a metal muzzle, there's A LITERAL TRIP TO VALHALLA, and all the juicy, sweet, straightforward romance a person could ask for. Have you ever thought to yourself "a doggy door could be the catalyst to my proclamation of love"? Neither had Vig or Kera, but it's the sweetest thing ever. Bonus Content: COCKYGATE, the (s)heroics of ...
Jun 11, 2018•1 hr 30 min•Ep. 33
Hey HB's! We're back this week with Part 1 of The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston. It's a paranormal romance complete with modern-day vikings and the gods who command them, a persnickety former marine back from death, and a big hunk of disheveled man who's been low-key wooing her for 18 months.... so low-key she doesn't notice. PLUS, there's something ancient that's waiting to be unleashed! WHAT IS IT. Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating and review w...
Jun 04, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 32
Hey HB's! Here's part two of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. In addition to the culmination of Abby and Max's tale, we've got another round of the "Big Stab vs. Big Slash" debate (in which Melody also comes out the WINNER), some earth-shattering Pride and Prejudice confessions, and more thoughts on EnglandTimes Wokeness (#englandtimeswoke). Come get companionably drunk with us, in a figurative sense, and shout from the rooftops our new favorite life motto: "spare me the thought processes of men...
May 28, 2018•42 min•Ep. 31
Hey HB's! We're here for Part 1 of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. It's a beautiful tale full of sisterhood and lady love, in addition to all the fabulous romance. Abby Chantry and her adopted sisters are down on their luck when they happen upon a Lady in just as much need, then her nephew arrives unexpectedly and SPARKS FLY. Delicious. Bonus Content: Over reacting to regular thing and owning it, the power of Chewy Bars and DoubleTree Cookies, the merits of locking up food, Erin's terrible memo...
May 21, 2018•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 30
Hey HB's this week we read Take the Lead by Alexis Daria! It's a reluctant romance set on a celebrity dance show. Gina Morales is the pro dancer in charge of making hulking Alaskan bushman Stone Nielson into a light-footed showboat. She's pressured to give the people a "showmance" and he just wants to get back to chopping wood while shirtless, ok?! Will their love prevail? Bonus Content: Goat was sick!, booty popping Zumba class, Jane the Virgin, that time Melody cut a goodbye short because she ...
May 14, 2018•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 29
Hey HB's! Sorry for the slight delay! This is Part 2 of Sally Thorne's The Hating Game! We're jumping back into Lucy's sickbed and you get to hear all about how much Melody hates the other guy who's into Lucy and all the reasons WHYYYY. Spoiler Alert: we hate "nice" guys. But, our former enemies are about to get even cozier, so we're happy little clams. Bonus Content: more Slytherin and Hufflepuff magic, fever stories, a little game you can play in the ER called "find the blood," Melody's evolvi...
May 07, 2018•1 hr 34 min•Ep. 28
Hey HBs! And Flamethrowers! Five of you spoke and we listened, so here's Part 1 of The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! We wanted to do this in one episode, but the squee was TOO STRONG! Join us for this quirky, fun, completely believable enemies-to-lovers story, which starts in the workplace (!!). It's got depth and such excellent writing that it made Melody come back 5 literal times. Bonus Content: A rousing discussion of Hogwarts Houses, Mel’s obsession with paintball as well as her legendary Duc...
Apr 30, 2018•1 hr 31 min•Ep. 27
We're back to finish up A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux, and this time we're in Medieval Times! Legit Medieval Times! We get to see our generous Dougless throw aside all her hygiene standards to CHANGE HISTORY. Has Melody ever mentioned that she thought this was a M/M book when she first cracked the cover? This was a disappointment on a lot of levels. Bonus Content: we get to learn all about magical Mary Poppins bags, cradle boards, why Mel likes getting kisses on the elbow, our new s...
Apr 24, 2018•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 26
Hey HB's! This week we're FINALLY GETTING TO TANYA'S BOOK! Or rather, Part 1 of A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. It's a classic romance novel published in the 80's and it does not disappoint... if you're looking for rant-fodder from us! It involves a perpetually gaslit schoolteacher, a horrendous current beau, a hero from the 16th century who isn't much better, all the fat-shaming of children you've ever wished for, and time-travel via genital contact. Plus, Rooster the Dog had a lot ...
Apr 16, 2018•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 25
Hey HB's! Erin and Melody are embarking on the crazy journey that is Patreon very soon, so we thought we should give you a taste of what you can unlock by getting on the bandwagon. This episode, we learn all about dueling, answer the mystery of the HB Universe "what does it mean to make oneself ready?!" and Erin concocts some truly ruthless Fuck/Marry/Kill brackets. Special thanks to Ann C, our resident dueling GURU! Keep being your bad-ass selves! Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave...
Apr 09, 2018•47 min•Ep. 24
Hey HB's! It's time for Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai. Join Reverends Erin and Melody as they discuss family redemption, spanking, tattoos, and various kinds of musks! Prepare yourselves, because like this book, this episode gets a little *real* about depression and relationships, but we haven’t wept openly in like five episodes so . . . we were due ;) Self Love Recommendations: Erin - Sleep! It'll mess you up if you don't get any. Melody - Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. Read it, let it seep into y...
Apr 02, 2018•1 hr 38 min•Ep. 23
We're bringing you a monster-sized episode for our first sexy monster! **heart-eyed emoji**. Join us for Firelight by Kristen Callihan, a romance mystery set in Sherlock Holmes Times which may or may not have made us spontaneously combust a couple of times. Callihan is a master of "show, don't tell" and we were riveted for every moment. Plus, let's review: Sexy. Monster. Read this book, y'all! Special thanks to Shante for recommending it! Bonus content: New dog Goat and other shenanigans. Also, ...
Mar 26, 2018•1 hr 59 min•Ep. 22
Hey y'all! We're back to finish up Beard Science by Penny Reid. This thing has everything: bakery lingerie hustle, counter top make-outs, hot fantasies, adorable flirting, lady love, MORE blackmail, strife, redemption, and a heaping pile of bottom-of-the-heart LOVE! Bonus content: what movie would play Erin in a movie? Who was Melody REALLY in Grease? Flamingos versus Dragons, Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody, and all the rest of the nonsense you've come to expect from us. Self-Love Reco...
Mar 19, 2018•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 21
Hey HB's! We're back in Shark infested waters with Beard Science by Penny Reid. Cletus Winston in is the 3rd brother of 7 siblings in Green Valley, TN and he's the wiliest of the bunch. Meanwhile, Jennifer Sylvester is the Banana Cake Queen of Green Valley and Instagram infamy. Her Momma has BIG plans for her. What started as a natural talent for baking has become a full-fledged exploitation situation. Can Cletus help her change her life and find out who she really is? A blackmail scheme just mi...
Mar 12, 2018•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 20
Hey HB's! Let's finish up Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean! When last we met, we left our fabulous heroine and her rake in a carriage on the way back to her house, breasts bouncing in the moonlight. She's determined to finish her list and LIVE, and he just might want to help her do just that for the rest of his eternity. There's fencing, there's dancing, there's dueling, and there's LOVE. Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a 5 Star rating ...
Mar 05, 2018•49 min•Ep. 19
It's Part One of Erin and Melody's recap of Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Lady Calpernia Hartwell is done with being a well-behaved wallflower, so she seeks out the most handsome, devilish rake in London to help her start misbehaving AND WE COULDN'T STOP SWOONING. Thank you, Erin C, for the recommendation! Bonus Content: The Gals decide which characters they are in Grace and Frankie and The Golden Girls, Erin talks about her herbal school classmates, Melody details ...
Feb 26, 2018•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 18
In this episode, we finish up The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. There's theater, rain, a jailbreak, redemption, and SEX. YES PLEASE. Bonus Content: Does Melody know what animals are? Or sounds? What's in her head? Self love recommendations: Erin: "You have to give up being perfect to be good, and give up being good to be free." Let that wash over you. Melody: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron Mentioned in this episode: Love the show? Leave a review! Give HB a...
Feb 19, 2018•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 17
Hey HB's! This marks the first in our multi-part episode coverage of novels with Tessa Dare's The Duchess Deal! We've got a strong, surviving seamstress, a Duke marred by burn wounds, and a marriage of convenience turned redemptive love. This is Melody's favorite heroine and Erin's favorite hero from the brain of Tessa Dare. There's also a colorful cast of side characters including a street cat named Breeches. Bonus content: the Alaskan phenomenon that is the drive up bikini coffee bar, burping ...
Feb 12, 2018•59 min•Ep. 16
Hooo dangy, the movie is coming out, so we thought you might need a refresher on the final book in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Fifty Shades Freed! If you read the title and thought, "oh goody, they break up?" you're in good company. Erin's fiance thought the same thing. Alas, no! Go with us on a 580 page journey where things finally happen in the last 20% of the book. Get ready for some verbing of nouns that don't verb (Mel thinks she's soooo charming), frank discussions about the mile high...
Feb 05, 2018•1 hr 33 min•Ep. 15
This week we read a delicious late nineties treat, See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson. It's got an ambitious journalist, a bad boy hockey goalie, Doc Martens, crushed velvet dresses, scandalous writing under a nom de plume (!), and.... tattoo licking. Into. It. If you like alpha male romances and verbal sex scenes, this is the book for you. Bonus content: Melody trying to hockey (or sportzball at all), the wild world of dolphins, and a look into our friendship you may not have been expecting. BIG T...
Jan 29, 2018•1 hr 49 min•Ep. 14
This week we discuss listener recommendation, Love Hacked by Penny Reid! Get ready for Star Wars, bitcoins, dry humping, butter chicken, and a new segment, None of Erin’s Opinions Represent the Opinions of Any Agency Featured Prominently in This Book, Nor Are They Drawn From Any Professional Experiences. Also, bonus segment, Drunk Stories with Erin and Melody. Thanks again, Rashmi! Self Love Recommendations: Melody: Do as I say, not as I do and stay hydrated! Your body and mind will thank you. E...
Jan 22, 2018•1 hr 36 min•Ep. 13
We're finally back to cover another listener recommendation: Dear Bridget, I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland! This one features a sexy British doctor, a widowed nurse, and a lot of cheeky sexual “in-yer-end-os.” This episode features some extra special personal news, plenty of Logistics with Erin, the TRUTH about otters (*sobbing emoji*), and a brand new segment we’re calling, Is This Sex Position Physically Possible? Self Love Recommendations: Erin: Get thyself a bathbomb! Melody: Seek...
Jan 16, 2018•1 hr 46 min•Ep. 12
READER RECOMMENDATION, Y'ALL! Thank you Stephanie for taking the bribe and bringing Maddie and Logan into our lives! In this episode we swoon over When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare. It starts in England Times, but quickly travels to Highlander Times. I know, Erin had a hard time keeping up. Just get yourselves ready for a talented, career driven English gentlewoman, a loyal Scottish highlander with depths you can barely measure, a blackmail marriage scheme.... and lobsters. Bonus content: ...
Jan 08, 2018•1 hr 42 min•Ep. 11
We've got a New Years selection for you to properly ring in 2018: Icecapade by Josh Lanyon! Are you in the mood for forbidden love between a jewel thief and the FBI Agent who has tailed him for a decade? Are you ready for that love story to involve llamas? WE ARE! This was a quick little novella, but it was jam-packed with stuff to talk about! Self-Love Recommendations: - Don't be afraid of a grown up friend sleepover. Erin spent a wonderful weekend with some lady friends in a cabin with board g...
Jan 01, 2018•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 10
