Slow Motion Car Wreck in New Orleans

a three tozer start. We talked about the Charlotte Hornets, which we're dysfunctional and now functional. We talked about the Sacramento Kings, which forever have been dysfunctional. I think they still are, but somehow they're functioning. If that makes sense.

All right, bruh, Let's get into have you ever seen a car accident before it happens, and like you are driving down the road and it's happening in front of you, and you see the car coming over and the car that's in the lane just trying to stay in the lane. You know, it's like one of those rickety like cars. It's just trying to stay The tires are sort of shaking on that car and it doesn't even know what's happening.

And there's another car coming from the right to sideswipe him, and you know it's gonna happen, and you're like fifteen seconds more aware than everyone else. But it's happening, regardless of what you do, regardless of what you say, if you try to help, if you don't, it's happening. It's awful. It's honestly one of the worst feelings to experience. It's worse when it happens to you, of course, but when you watch it, it's like your whole body tenses up.

And in a lot of ways, that's what's happening right now with the New Orleans Pelicans. The car that's about the swide swipe, that other janky ass car that looks like it's a luxury vehicle but really it's not. That's the Pelicans, and the yanky ass car is Zion. There are drivers that are accident prone, the ones that continue to side swipe other cars. That's also the Pelicans. They've

done this a couple of times before. They don't they can't even get insured, like they have to go to the general because, like Geico, and State Farm, like no one will even cover their ass because they're so dangerous to society. This is like a pattern for them. They're not watching what's going on, but doing whatever the fuck they want to do, regardless of the outcome around them. They're just reckless. That's the Pelicans. It's happened before, it's

happening again. I have to say it's hard to take this mantle from the Sacramento Kings, but I think the Pelicans are the most dysfunctional franchise right now in the NBA. And it's not close. Like this is a franchise if I need to remind you, that's already lost Chris Paul once, they lost Anthony Davis. He forced his way out, and now they're gonna fuck around and they're gonna lose ion

they've lucked into. Think about that, They've lucked into three transcendent players, and I don't think any of them are gonna stay their entire careers there. These are idiots that just bumble their way into like the greatest players, top seventy five players and still find a way to fuck it up. And they're just good enough that every single mediocre team that plays them feels good about beating them

right now, That's where they are at. Like I believe that the world has not seen this train or car crash happen yet. I am just the only one that can see it. But there the truth is, they are a dogshit team. They are really bad. They may only be slightly better than the Pistons, and I don't even know if they are. That is a stretch. They have more wins, they may they may end up having more wins than Oklahoma City, but that's just because Oklahoma City

wants to lose. Like if Oklahoma City actually desired to win games, I think the New Orleans could be the worst team in the West. And once again, this dumpster fire of an organization is going to chase this generational talent out of town. Again. New Orleans has a problem. And he's eating beignets and is over three hundred pounds and he's not gonna play gone till November March April May. Like he is gone. No one knows when he's coming back, or if he's gonna be healthy or what. And that

three hundred pound transcendent star is seething. He's seething at his general manager, the way that they are treating him the way that they're slowly integrating him back into the team after his multitude of injuries. Fair enough, but now they seem to be having a fire sale as well.

They don't seem to be motivated to keeping Zion happy or healthy, despite him telling the world everyone, despite him telling the world how much he loves playing in Madison Square Garden, like, they don't seem to realize what is happening. Or maybe they do, like maybe they do. Like truthfully, Zion should have been drafted to the Knicks and Zion knew that and somehow again because they probably made a deal with the devil, like they got the number one

pick again and drafted Zion. So then they made a bunch of moves this offseason, right, and Griffin tried to tell us, oh, these are the moves that are gonna take us over the over the edge. We're gonna be We're gonna make the playoffs now because remember, like they have not made the playoffs since it's been years. Honestly, it's been four or five years since they've made the playoffs.

And look, they none of these moves have mattered. They took their only real defensive presence in Steven Adams and they moved him out. And that was a team that was historically bad at defense. And now a team that struggled defensively is still struggling defensively. They're even worse, and now they can't score. They they they're giving up one hundred and fourteen points per game and haven't scored one hundred in two out of the three games. I'd say

that point differential is a problem. Right. That was the one thing that they were actually good at last year, and now they're fucking trash at that. They are bad at every single thing, which is why they haven't won a game yet, and they might actually not even win a game until they either play Oklahoma City Houston or until Zion returns. Can you see the car accident? What does all this mean to me? It means trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble.

And according to the recent news that just came out two days ago, New Orleans might be headed for a fire sale three games in. There are rumors that Josh Hart is already on the trade block. Josh Hart. Josh Hart is twenty six years old. Josh Hart just signed to a three year deal a team friendly deal like yesterday, and yet, according to multiple NBA executives, Hart is now on the trade block and the three year deal he signed with the Pelicans apparently has made him even more

valuable to other teams. It's almost like David Griffin planned this from the beginning. He had no intention of not only keeping Heart but also making the Pelicans a threat to any playoff contention. And they're not even a playing team, and I think David Griffin knows that. The question is, why is David Griffin putting Josh Hart on the trade market. What are they looking for? Maybe a young athletic wing

on a team friendly contract that could shoot. Oh, I don't know, you mean Josh Hart, Like, that's Josh Hart. Excuse me, you can't trade Josh Hart for Josh Hart. That don't make no sense. There's only one answer. New Orleans is desperate. They're looking for draft picks because, in my opinion, they too see the car wreck. Zion is either going to leave to New York most likely if New York will have him, or Zion will stay for the long term, be on the books for the long

term and not be playing for the long term. Look at how they performed so far this year without Zion zero and three, with losses to Philly, Chicago, and Minnesota by an average of over fourteen points. None of these games that looks kind of close, but none of these games have been particularly close. In their opening loss to the Sixers, valentunis their guy that was supposed to come in to help them with scoring, which they didn't need.

Shot three for nineteen, three for nineteen. I could shoot three for nineteen if I was seven foot I'd do better than three for nineteen. I promise you that. And people who wondered how Valentinis would work within this offense, they had a right to be concerned. And that is without Zion there, and Zion is the one that fucks up the spacing. Let's look at it another way. The Pelicans went two to nine last season when Zion did

not play. Their two victories were over Houston. Like I told you before, Brock, it was a bad year for Houston. They were mailing it in. They lost twenty games in a row. It was bad. And that was without John Wall and Charlotte, without Mellow or Hayward or Bridges. Okay, so dogshit teams without their quote unquote stars. They might be the worst team in the NBA without Zion, like they could be the worst. And with Zion they weren't even anywhere near the playoffs. And he was bawling the

fuck out. He was averaging almost thirty So what the One of the things that I asked last year that went bananas was if Zion is so good, then why are the Pelicans so trash? This team. I'm sorry to say it, but I gotta say it. They're headed for a rebuild, whether they like it or not. The crash is coming. It's just a matter of time. It's just how slow or how fast, whether you react with you don't, but like it's a matter of how much damage, but

not whether there's gonna be damage. The car wreck is coming, folks, and the one thing that we know for sure is that David Griffin will not be surviving this car wreck. Bring out the stretcher and the ambulance. Woo woo, there's been there's been a casualty, and his name is David Griffin. Move over, Sacramento. There's a new challenger for the crown of the shittiest, most dysfunctional, rotten franchise in the NBA. Game of throne style. They're coming. The red wedding is here.

Beignets are a plenty early surprises. Everyone's trying to find someone, that new franchise player or a collection of stars to put them over the top. Franchises that have never done a goddamn thing and many many years are now telling us, telling the world they are something. They have found the one, the new one. A week end of the season, We've

already had some I'll call it interesting surprises. No, I'm not talking about the Golden State Warriors and how Jordan Poole is going to be the most improved player and they're three and zero start that means absolutely not. I mean, nobody except for Golden State knows what the Chicago Bulls are feeling right now, which is an undefeated season that means absolutely nothing. So no, I'm not gonna walk that

take back for a month or so. I'm talking about the Bulls, the Hornets, and the Kings, all of which have had fast starts, are lighting up the headlines, Tweets abound, tiktoks, etc. Everybody's talking about these three teams. There's been a lot of doubters, myself included. So let's evaluate these three teams and whether what they're doing is meaningful in any way,

and why let's start with the Bulls, man. I tell you what, there there might not be a team that people desperately want to be good more than the Chicago Bulls, like the world of NBA fans desperately wants them to succeed. I get that, Like it's Jordan's team, and when Jordan's team is good, all is right in the world. Money is a plenty. I mean, people who don't care about the NBA at all are like, heyo, Trista, what you think Vooch Loronzo Demartrosan, what we are saying? What are

you fucking talking about right now? They don't even know what the NBA is. They don't even know who these players are except for that it's on the Chicago Tribune. Like they have no clue what's going on. They believe

these guys are going to save them. I never thought anyone would be so excited about Demarta Rosan and Lonzo Ball and Alice Caruso in my life, but here we are, Like Vooch was the first option for the Orlando Magic, like please, and the worst part, they're three and zero they're three and zero, and now the world is like, hey, are they good? This is an accomplishment, Look at us, look at the Bulls. The hype train immens the media. The media is culpable in this really truthfully, because they're

putting out these headlines that they know aren't true. They know when they posit Bulls new Era, they know that that's a lie, and that's a lie because they watch just as much basketball at me. They are part of this problem this. It's quite unacceptable to me to I guess pedal to the world something that you know is going to not work out and get their hopes up and then let them fall. This is some of the headlines that we're talking about right now. Bulls active defensive

identity is contagious. I mean, this team can't play defense, Like they don't play defense at all. And there's a couple of good blocks against some dogshit teams and now it's like that defensive identity. Okay, another one quote Dawn of a New Era, new look Bulls fire on all cylinders and home opener, all the cylinders were firing. I hate to burst your bubble, but uh, you just beat Detroit that were the worst team in the NBA last year. They were the number one pick in this draft, and

you beat them barely without that player, Kate Cunningham. And then the other team that you beat, the most dysfunctional team in the league, New Orleans Pelicans, the one the team that I just said was the team that people get excited about and they hang their head on that win, and that win means nothing because nobody knows yet the New Orleans Pelicans are a fucking disaster. So what's game two?

You beat the Pelicans and people still think it's the Pelicans because of the name, but that doesn't mean anything. Those wins mean nothing. That means And by the way, there was no Zion, So Pistons twice with no Kid, Pelicans without Zion, the Josh heartless led Pelicans. I mean, the people are desperate, Like I get that. The Bulls haven't been good since Jimmy Butler and Derrick Rose and

before that Michael Jordan. Both those guys ended up not wanting to even be their long term, which I totally understand. It's like heartbreak and you need something to give you hope, And I get it, like you haven't had hope in a while. Things have been bad, like the the gar form in age. You know, things have just been real dysfunctional.

You talk about dysfunctional, they have been dysfunctional. But I beg you please don't say that the Bulls are gonna be a four seed, Like, please, don't try to peddle me some bullshit that they're gonna be able to beat the Bucks or the Nets, or the Heat or even the Charlotte Hornets in a seven game series, like, please try your very best to not try to say that Jannis is in any way concerned about the Chicago Bulls

because he is not. Take a gander at the schedule, folks, Please, after you've played the Nets, the Knicks, the Jazz, the Celtics, Sixers, MAVs, and the Warriors, Clippers and the Lakers, please come talk to me November fifteenth, after your West Coast road trip when you're I don't know, four and twelve. My early reaction is that they're fun. Attract them, They're fun, they're attractive.

We'll call them the makeup gorgeous, not wake up gorgeous type of team, right like they are an Iowa seven who got their makeup done at Sephora, their hair done. They go to the club, you take them home, You're like, she's kind of hot. Strip off all those random layers of makeup and those fake lashes, and it's like wolf Man. Not only is she not attractive, she also lacks depth and substance. In other words, the Chicago Bulls are cat fishing the entire NBA. Yes, sir, don't worry, folks, I

have a trained eye for these things. I know what a sexy team with substance and depth looks like. The Chicago Bulls, like I said, they are in Iowa seven at best. I'll let you know if things change, but don't get your hopes up. Let's talk about the Hornets and Michael Jordan for a second. Here's a quick potential thought that I don't necessarily know if I believe, But maybe mj wasn't actually a bad owner. Maybe he just never found the right talent that fit into his maniacal

style that he needed from a star until now. Maybe he never found a guy that he wanted to build a team around because all these young guns are soft as hell and they're too worried about their ig shit. Then getting back into the gym possibility, I don't actually know if that's true, but now it's possible. But this Hornet's team is fun, it's sexy, and what took them over the top and what mj is salivating over now

is one hundred percent LaMelo Ball. Michael Jordan, the owner, potentially has been waiting for a player with like LaMelo Ball for his entire career. LaMelo is, He's kind of like a throwback in my opinion. Lamello is is just cut differently, cut like a guy from the eighties and the nineties. And there is nothing that Michael Jordan likes more than players that remind him of himself. Like truthfully, here here is how we know that Lamello is cut different.

The Athletic recently discussed how LaMelo took one of the most aggressive possible approaches to coming back from his broken wrist last year. Why, you may ask, Apparently he saw the Hornets drop off of a cliff when he and Gordon Hayward went down and knew their postseason chances were fading so fast that he sped up his rehab process from a year to five weeks. He should have been out for the year. They should have shut him down,

and they were going to shut him down. And by the way, if he was playing for the Utah Jazz right now, he probably still even wouldn't be playing basketball. Asked Donovan Mitchell about that, Like Donovan Mitchell like twisted his ankle on a curb and sat out two games of the playoffs, like that is the Utah Jazz. But LaMelo was like, fuck this bullshit, Like I am going to come back early, and instead of being shut down for the year, he made a playoff push and on

top of everything else, his winning mentality. He also which Michael Jordan also loves, is loyal. He now says he doesn't want to switch teams. He said, I still feel like I have that old mentality that they had back in the day, even with switching teams and stuff. They never used to do that. You go to one team and you stay there. Oh my god. If you're Michael Jordan, you've got to just be like, oh my god, like insert Leonardo DiCaprio, like teeth to the fist, oh my,

oh my god, LaMelo ball. And I have to say, as an aside, like the Warriors made a big mistake not drafting him. But these are the types of quotes, These are the types of actions. This is the kind of kid that makes Michael Jordan, you know, in a matter of words, we'll say, go from six to twelve in like two seconds, right like he wants to hear nothing more than I will stay with you forever, and I will grind my body down to dust for four more wins until I retire like Kobe. And now the

Hornets threno for the first time in franchise history. They came back from twenty three points in the second half against Indiana. Guess what LaMelo was the reason? Of course, twelve points during a twenty four zero, twenty four to zero run in the third quarter. What does that mean? Taking the game over by yourself when the rest of the team is struggling, putting the team on your back like a hard rock. Does that sound like anybody to you? And now he's getting other players to buy in like

Michael did too. Remember Michael Jordan was like, listen, I'm not gonna play with scrubs, like you need to give me your one hundred percent or I'm going to fuck you up. Miles Bridge is now balling out. James Brago, head coach, just said after the win against Brooklyn, Miles is playing with tenacity, Kevin guarding Kevin Durant then driving to score on the other end. I mean, folks, they

are all buying in. This is the team, This is the mentality, This is the star that Jordan the player, Jordan the manager, Jordan the owner has dreamed of his entire life. And so yeah, I don't think wins over Brooklyn, Cleveland and Indiana necessarily mean this team's gonna be like a three seed in the stacked East. Like how far could they go? I don't know, man, Like they can beat anyone on any given night. I said this last year. They were my league past team of the Year last

year and they're even better now. All of that to say, people call me a hater, but I have nice things to say too. With Mellow running the team, the future is extremely bright, and Charlotte maybe more bright. Another team of the teams in the league that actually looks good right now, surprisingly good despite all of the twenty five years of dysfunction and the trade rumors in the offseason. A number two pick who's a boss. They're not even playing him very many minutes. He wants to be traded,

They won't trade him. They're benching him. Terrible coach, cheapest hell franchise, like talking about the dysfunctional of dysfunctional, the Sacramental Kings, the Sacramento Kings, My golly, look good. I don't know what to say. I don't know. I didn't see it coming, and it is only three games in, so I reserve the right to say it's fluid. It's fluid.

But Luke Walton right now, I tell you what, Luke Walton is in a unique position because he is like Luke Walton's kind of like that tenured professor that knows his ass can't be fired, so he just doesn't give a fuck anymore. Like he's I am going to do whatever I want because what it? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? I'm gonna try new things. I'm gonna draft an undersized guard out of Baylor, even though I have three other guards, Like I might even

put him on the floor at the same time. You know what, let's get crazy. Let's experiment. I mean it's working. Having no pressure to be good at your job is liberating. I mean I've been doing that for the last five years. Honestly, what are you gonna do? Who else are you gonna get Honestly, you're gonna find another girl who likes sports. Get.

I doubt that you've got the freedom to experiment, of course, like soberly, maybe you've got fun literally no stress at potentially having accountability for doing things under expectations like if you what, you try your new innovative approach, If it doesn't work right away, who cares? Try something again? Keep going with it? I don't know any of it. It's like the incubator of the NBA, legitimately like a startup team, Like we're just gonna do things that no one's ever

even conceived of doing before. Because wins don't matter. My job is very secure. These players who cares, we can trade them, we can keep them, we can keep hostage, doesn't matter. No one is going to fire me unless they want to cut me a check for twenty million dollars, which I know that they won't do because I know they're cheap as hell. I've got them over the barrel, folks. So what are we gonna do. We're gonna have a whole lot of fun. Let's get crazy, Let's do whatever

we want out here. No one's even watching us. We don't even have nationally televised games, people won't even know until forty eight hours later what's going on. Tremendous. Actually, if I think about it, more teams should employ this method because there's only gonna be two teams in the finals. There's only maybe six that are contending twenty four. Let's do whatever we want. Let's see what's happening. Let's be fun, let's be exciting. And the Kings are exciting. They're one

and two, but goddamn it, they've been competitive. They beat the Portland Trailblazer's my team, which I knew they would do because that's us, is what we do. They almost beat the Jazz, even though the Jazz beat them, but I want to say, like twelve, they were winning that game for most of the game. They took them to the wire. After the game, Donovan Mitchell was like, man, that Davion Mitchell kid, this was one of the hardest regular season wins I've ever had in my entire life.

Like they had us in prison clamps. The playoff intensity was there in game two. In Game two he said it was a playoff atmosphere. This might go down as I wouldn't say one of our best wins, but maybe one of our biggest because of our perseverance. And now Davion Mitchell, they're calling him the new Kyle Lowry. He had seventeen points off the bench against the Warriors in the first half. This kid is killing the game. And I have to say, speaking of Davion Mitchell, my initial

scouting report on him was uh. I don't know if I would say wrong, but I would say slightly off, like this is what I said, because I have to be fair to our listeners. I said Davion Mitchell was too small. I said Davion Mitchell was too small to be able to get his shot off in the NBA. I said Davian Mitchell was probably a G League player. I said Sacramento should have never drafted him in that spot.

There were plenty of other players better than Daveon. Uh. Davion's not good enough at defense to make up for his lack of shot creation. Uh. Sacramento Kings drafting Davion Mitchell was the prime example of how bad Sacramento is as a friend franchise. They are a laughing stock. This pick was a laughing stock. So was that a bad take? I would say three games in it does seem slightly cold, not ice cold, but right before freezing cold. I would say the ice cube isn't solid, but you know you

can tap on it and there's some ice at the top. Wrong, wrong, wrong, me, just dumb. Take he is putting folks in prison. He put Donovan Mitchell in prison. Steph Curry nine for twenty three when Daveon guarded him. Davion is holding opponents to thirty one percent shooting from the field, and he is guarding stars eleven percent below their average as a goddamn rookie. And now Davion, because of this three games in has

now got possibly the greatest dictame in the NBA. They are now calling Davion get this, Davion on off night, Mitchell, because everyone has an off night when Davion is guarding them, Damian Lillard, CJ. McCollum, Steph Curry, Donovan Mitchell, guys who get buckets are ice cold when Davion has got his body on him. Oh this is what Davion had to say.

about Davion's defense, but this man was an offensive assassin tonight. Yeah, Davion had twenty points off the bench that night. Let's break it down even more, Dame CJ. Donovan Mitchell, Mike Conley, Jordan Clarkson when defended by Davion Mitchell seventy five possessions twenty points seven for twenty seven, which is twenty five point nine percent, three for ten from three thirty percent, and three turnovers. Like, this guy has clamps. This guy's

like Drew Holiday level and he's a rookie. These are elite scorers. He is putting in prison. He has a more fluid lou dort th can score like he is clamps, He can pass. I don't know if you saw the clip, but he was guarding Donovan Mitchell, had his body on him, had his body on him, had his body on him.

Donovan Mitchell went up for a layup and he snatched it out of his hands like a bully on the court, ran down the other way, threw a lob to his teammate, Alli you, I have a new favorite for Rookie of the Year, brock not Kate, not Jalen Green, not even Chris d'orte. It is for me. My bed is now on firmly planted. I've turned my thoughts around, I've seen the errors of my ways. My Rookie of the Year vote right now. Wow, Davion off Night Mitchell the stack Killer.

That's the new one line that I created for him, the stat Davion off Night Mitchell the stack Killer. So anybody says, anybody ever says Davion off Night Mitchell, then you follow that up by saying the stack killer. They say about seventy percent of the earth surface is covered by water. The rest is covered by Davion Mitchell. That's all the time that we have for the Heat Check podcast. Will be back Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning early Squirrely will

have Q and a's for you as well. Don't forget to follow us at Tristan crick and at this heat Check on TikTok and download, subscribe and give us a rating on Spotify and Apple. Let's go Brockley, Let's go to space in the lit