Well, that sucked. That sucked. What a shitty Game seven.
It was way worse than Game seven last year at the exact same day, in the exact same time. It didn't suck that Boston per se lost in seven, and now that we have a Miami Denver Finals, that's actually.
I kind of like that.
It sucked because Boston's they just didn't show up. They might have played the worst.
Close out game in the history of the close out game.
It sucked, baby, because Tatum rolled his ankle on the first play of the game. It sucked because Boston, because Boston, you were doing so well at the whole game of basketball thing like sharing the ball, moving when you don't have its beautiful game type stuff. It sucked because Boston reverted back to all the things that put them in that three to zero hole to begin with. It was so incredibly ugly, It was so disgusting that just like a defied description, it was so pointless. I was bored.
Let's be real, the Celtics, they've been winning a lot of games largely strictly on their talent. They play some of the worst brand of basketball I've ever seen. When they decided to play real basketball, it looks great like it did in games four five, part of six. But in this case again they went back to their losing ways. They played horrible basketball. They settled for jumpers, they never moved the ball. They got back to their ISO basketball bullshit.
On the perimeter.
They played hero ball without a damn hero to speak of. On the floor, it was a double digit lead almost from the jump folks. They couldn't make a single three of the Celtics. They were from oh for twelve, yes, oh for twelve from three to start the game, nine for forty two from three for the full duration of the game. The only player on the Celtics that looked like he was going to up to be up to the challenge was Derek My name's Kodak Black, but when
you see me, I'm white. He was like literally one of the only players who tried to create his own shot and didn't just settle for jumpers. He got to the free throw line, he got to the rim, he hit mid range shots, and it was like, where's where's Jalen Brown? Where, where's Marcus smart at? Why or why is this Derek White's team? Now you had Joe Missoula looking stunned out there. Derek White had eighteen eighteen. I think that's more than Jason Tatum. I think Tatum, even
with his little baby injury, I think he had fourteen points. Yeah, that's right. He was one for four from three eleven rebounds. Fourteen points. Humbly one of the best players in the world to go home in seven after being down three zero, just humbly going home and to cantcum.
And now where are we?
We are to the point where the talk is getting louder again. It just reignited. It is Joe Missoula the right coach for the job in Boston.
Sh don't ask nobody.
Too loud, because there's nothing about this game that makes you confident in him moving forward?
Is there? This one? Not Games four or five, six?
I mean this one he is coaching largely in this playoffs is a roller coaster. It's like dating someone who is attractive, fun, interesting, and then you go out to dinner and he constantly disrespects the waiter, the bus boy, the woman selling candies in the bathroom. Red flag city population. Joe Mizula, I don't care how handsome you are, I don't care how devout you are.
I don't care what kind of things you say.
Listen, if you're not treating the people right, we got problems. If the Celtics were a guy right now on Kinder, they would be like, uh excuse me, uh our blah in glace senior, Like that's jovinh that's the Celtics, Like, ugh, what's this ombre think he's fucking doing?
Putting cilantro on my taco? Where do we even begin?
Where do we begin? Like in terms of what they specifically did poorly, let's kind of get into that. All they did for game six and Game seven, we're just chuck threes, just early in the shot clock, contested gross step back threes. They got lucky in game six because Derek White my name's Kodak Black, but when you see me.
I'm White, saved their ass.
But in game seven, Jimmy was better, Eric Spolster was better, and they brought Caleb Martin aka Robin with him. Do you know how bad things got for the Boston Celtics. Duncan Robinson. Duncan Robinson shushed the crowd in the fourth quarter. Duncan Robinson, the guy who was getting DMPs in the second half of the season. The guy that you had.
It was like he was on a milk carton.
For most of the year, we hadn't seen or heard from Duncan Robinson, the guy that people were clowning saying might have the worst contract in the league.
He was saying, sh, don't no, don't fight it. Sh just lay down.
Everything you need to know about the Boston offense was found in the first quarter, from like seven twenty six left in the quarter, when Boston was up nine to four. Here's a list of every Celtics possession for the remainder of the first quarter seven twenty six. Derek my name is Kodak back, but when you see me, I'm White. He misses a three. JB missus in eighteen foot two, Smart missus a three.
White misses a three. I'll save you it over and over.
White at five forty seven misses a three five thirty nine. JB misses an eighteen foot step back four forty five. Horford misses a three four to twenty seven. JB misses a three four twenty Derek White finally makes an eight footer three forty five. Brogden misses a three two thirty four JB foul on the jumper makes a couple of free throws two ten Smart missus a running jumper one forty five. Brogdon misses a layup one twelve. JB missus a driving layup one O eight Are you bored yet
with all these misses? One O eight Robert Williams misses a putback one O three.
Uh Robert Williams.
Time Lord makes a four footer thirty six seconds left in the quarter. JB missus another three three seconds left in the corner. JB misses a layup. Boston had sixteen possessions for the remainder of the quarter, and this was the best that they could do. Eight miss three pointers, two missed long twos, and six drives. That ended was six points and the heat ended up that first quarter up twenty two to fifteen.
What a complete and utter disaster of a quarter in a game seven. What a failure? Wait, what a step to success that was?
What a complete and utter step to success of coaching to design any offensive place that aren't three point shots or io ball just didn't just wouldn't. Just no screens, no back cuts, nothing, And that stretch in the first quarter was replicated throughout the game.
We will not spare it.
We will not We will not give you any more of the play by play. We will spare you with the ugly details. But just believe me, that's what it was. Boston had no creativity. And when questions about it came after the game, as you knew it was going to, Joe Missoula's answer was we miss threes. That was the reason we played the defense was there. That's what you're gonna expect when you have Joe Missoula around, non answers, non accountability, basically putting the onus on whether his team
makes threes or missus three. Make or miss league is a make. He might as well just say that it's a make or miss league. So ah, it's a maker miss league. His teams, Joe Mazula's teams, they're gonna put up thirty five to forty five threes a game. They're gonna beat a lot of mediocre teams in the regular season.
They're gonna probably struggle in the playoffs. They'll probably end up winning many of those series because they're the most talented team, but the flaws will continuously be exploited by better teams later in the rounds. Where does that leave Boston with a lot of questions, and it starts with Jalen Brown. He's entering his contract year. As we know, because Jalen Brown was second team All NBA, they can offer him more than anyone else. He can't get a
super max if he goes anywhere else. He's eligible for five years two hundred and ninety five million dollars in Boston, which is the tune of fifty nine million dollars a year.
Can I ask you something? Can I ask me you in the lamp post this? Do you think Jalen Brown is worth sixty million dollars? I don't know.
If there's five players in the lead, were sixty million dollars? Hit eight turnovers in Game seven? And I like Jaylen Brown and I am like a fan. Eight I repeat eight turnovers. The rest of the Celtics had seven turnovers as a team.
Why can't Jalen Brown drivel?
I'm a little I'm a little upset. I thought I was going to Boston. Will they break up the Jays?
I don't know. I remember, back.
Before Celtics won three in a row, we were getting all kinds of rumors about a toxic locker room. One insider was like, oh yeah, they getting tired of pretending to.
Like one another. And then they went to top golf and they apparently all bonded.
They didn't talk about the games, they didn't watch any film. They basically just became fifteen year olds going to the driving range and drinking some bruise with their buddies. And now all of a sudden, it's doray me fossa lati budo whatever they say. You can't hide a shit show like this, though, not when two superstars are making sixty million dollars per year. As for Miami, I hate that I had to make it about Boston because congratulations, you did not choke away the first three zero lead ever
in history. Congratulations on that first and foremost. You deserve all the credit in the world for getting it done, especially in Boston. You get the credit for Jimmy Butler come into play and doing exactly what he said he was gonna do. You get credit for Coach Spoe, who, right after Game six, by the way, was like ready to start Game seven.
That very moment.
He was like, I'm ready to get this tip right now, like now, like now. He solidified I believe for the world that he's the best coach in the NBA, and it's not close. I think there's a big chasm between him and everyone else, even the next best coach. And the reason why is because nobody gets as much out of less than him. No one gets more from less
than Spoe. And that's no shit to the Max Strews the world, which, by the way, Boston cuts for Taco Fall like Taco Fall, a novelty item, a like a a Carnival Barker in the world of the NBA, a six foot or seven foot four like monster who they just brought out to sell concessions. They I don't know what they were doing with that. No shade to Max Strews. No shade to the ghost of Kyle Lowry, who played excellent, No shades Duncan Robinson or any of these other guys
who are clearly not you know, Tier one players. He gets the most, No disrespect to Haywood high Smith. Do you think Joe Missoula would have even played Haywood high Smith a single minute in this series?
No?
Also, Jimmy Butler, you were incredible three for seven from three for a guy who is just really not a three point shooter. Three steals, doing everything to help this team win. But if we're honest with ourselves, it was a Caleb Martin game, folks. It was he didn't deserve the Eastern Conference Finals MVP, but he deserved this series MVP twenty six to nine, four for six from three, ten rebounds played almost.
The entire game.
Mind you, our man, Caleb Martin is making six point eight million dollars per year.
That right there is Heat culture.
Miami Heat as a team forty nine percent overall from the field, fifty percent from three. The truth is, if you shoot fifty percent from three, not a lot of teams are gonna betchup. And that was the story of the game, baby, Pretty much the entire playoff run story for Miami is if they shoot like no one thinks they can shoot, and they have been there, they're gonna win a lot of games in the postseason, in the
regular season whenever. Just an incredible run of shooting. And like the me mom, social media says, no way that Heat can keep shooting like this?
Right? Sure can?
We move on to the finals, which will break down later on this week, But for now, I think I need a shower to get the stench out of the Boston Celtics performance Off of me, I realize there's now one silver lining for Boston. There are one hundred and forty eight days before the start of the twenty twenty three twenty twenty four season. That means Joe and the Celtics can watch the town a grand total of eighty four and a half times before tip off to the
new season. So Joe, let me ask you who's got we gonna take we on to the finals.