So get this. This story is wild.
This is check this out like maybe the crazy story I've heard recently about an NBA player, maybe the dumbest, most preposterous way that an NBA player has ever been suspended.
This is the story.
In a game against the thunder Miami Heat, we're down just nine, just down to nine players, Dwayne Deadmond, journeyman probably gets like twelve minutes a game, getting some obvious minutes when they're down to nine men, decided to take out his in the Miami Heat haven't been good season long frustration out against Eric Spostra by getting pissy on
the sideline. Not sure what it was about, not sure if there was some sort of independent thing going on, but he decided he was going to throw a temper tantrum. Spolster and Deadman jawed back and forth for about ten seconds before being separated. Totally fine, nothing wrong with that. And then he gets booted from the game. And along the way as he's being ejected, this is tremendous, he grabs a ferragun, which retail for about four hundred and ninety nine dollars.
Throws it across the court where it lands in the middle of gameplay at the top of the key.
What I have never heard of that before? Have you heard that? Miami Heat players they do some wild shit when they're mad at one another.
Remember when Eudonnas Haslim and Jimmy Butler and Eric Sposter were all gonna fight last year. They just get there's something about that Miami air Man is insane.
So today.
The league, after consulting with pat Riley, decided they were going to hand down a one game suspension to Dwayne Deadmond, which means, my man, Dwayne Deadman got suspended for throwing a massage gun onto the court. Something that Deshaun Watson should familiarize himself with a massage gun to do it himself. Spostra, who's sneaky, fiery, very h much more bombastic than people realize, He said this, that's the Miami Heat. We're all a
bunch of gnarly personalities. What are you talking about? Just throwing shit like I bet a player if they scratched each other across the flies and that's gnarly Heat culture for you.
What does that even mean? That's like when I went to watch.
Arizona play and some girl took her maneuvering out of her own body and put it on my shoulder, be like, Oh yeah, that's wildcat culture. No, that's fucking out of pocket, that's not adult activity, gnarly heat culture. I'm just gonna throw Have you ever felt a thera gun? They're heavy as fuck. If that would have hit baby Lowry in the head as he's coming up, he could have been concussed, he could.
Have been out there just absolutely rocked.
Deadman's averaging six and four on ten minutes per game.
I don't think he's gonna have more of that moving forward. I don't know. It's just what's next one their gun? I don't even know.
I don't even This has gotta be one of the craziest stories I've ever heard, moving forward to something more jolly. James Wiseman one part Deer in Headlights, one part Santa.
Cruz Warrior, number one.
Pick number two pick in the Draft now adds to his resume.
Sound Cloud rapper.
Yes, it's true, our man, James Wiseman dropped his I think second song today. I believe he had a single on the radio, which, let's be honest, the only reason it was probably on the radio is because it was James Wiseman. The song, though, is called get this tested.
Oh, James Wiseman. He shouldn't have done that. You should not have called that tested.
I might not have even said a word if it was called learning or struggling or g leaguing, or you know, any of those. But I do want to play a little of this clip because it's fucking funny.
I wanted to marinate in your brain.
I want the chorus specifically, as you listen to it, imagine James Wiseman drafted to a dynasty with Steph Curry, the best point guard of our generation, with Klay Thompson one of the best shooters of our generation, Steve Kerr, NBA champion, one of the best coaches in the league.
Listen to this chorus and see if.
It somehow jives in your mind best.
What is James Wiseman talking about.
There's just too much to dissect because the lyrics in the bars and the verses are just they have their own stuff we need to talk about. One of the lyrics is talking about how his pockets are empty. James Wiseman has been paid since Memphis, Like James Wiseman got kicked out of college basketball for literally getting paid millions of dollars to play for Benny Hardaway, which is maybe it all went to his parents. Maybe it didn't, but I know this, James Wiseman has not had any empty pockets.
James Wiseman's about to get a huge contract that he did not earn. My first question is really just like what what has James Wiseman been tested by? Like, are we talking algebra? Are we talking about like school? Are we talking about tested by the G League?
What are you tested by? James Wiseman, Tested by complex pick and roll coverages. That's n you kurw washy to run.
Tested by the fact that you're supposed to just set hard screens. Just set the fucking screen, James, Do not slip and roll and demand the ball. Just set the screen, roll to the basket, get rebounds, fucking dunk. Be a more athletic Cavon Looney, James Wiseman, This is not a test, This is your job. James Wiseman, are you kidding me?
You've been seven feet tall for like seven years.
Miss man has zero minutes and eight sixteen bars under his belt, which is pretty much amount of minutes that he can actually play in a game.
Productively. I don't understand.
He's literally like food for NAMA's Cada who can't get any minutes for the Sacramento Kings. I will rewrite this song with all the things that James Wiseman has been tested by. I will do't do not give me some free time because I have had things like I've been test it. Yeah, I've been tested. I've been on the bench so long. Yeah, I'm fully rested. Yeah how about that? How about that?
Yeah?
Yeah, we'll talk about his ligaments and how they don't really work. Come on now, man, you get the point. James Wiseman. I need to have him on the show. He's the perfect He wouldn't like it. You would not like it. James Wiseman, I love you. I really root
for you. I'm hoping for the best. But you gotta get the shit together, because you can't be writing lyrics and putting out SoundCloud songs when you can't get any minutes playing for a fucking team that drafted you number two overall when they barely have any first round picks, and oh my god, are they regretting it? To the point where Joe Lacub, the owner, is saying he didn't even make that decision that somebody else, like some random
staffer made it for him. People are backing away from you, James Wiseman, do not make any songs.
Do not make any songs.
My question is also, will James Wiseman ever become a pretty to the NBA player? I don't know that's say, shake, shake, shake the magic eight ball, magic eight ball says. My sources say no. Will Wiseman become a part of a major trade, Yes, My sources say yes, because James Wiseman will get paid so much money, and we know Joe Lacamb's not going to the luxury tax for a guy who's talking about I think he's probably said tested in there what fifty times that oh, don't even and the
first person not even him. It's the third verse that sounds very much like what you imagine James Wiseman to sound like, which is a lumbering oath. That's all the time that we after the heat check, before I get canceled. We'll be back one day with an all new episode.
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