Heartside Chats w/ Dr. Chelsea Wakefield

Chelsea Wakefield•podcasters.spotify.com

Expert couple's therapist Dr. Chelsea Wakefield and co-host Lisa Stutzman-Graves help demystify the challenges of love and teach us about six “love capacities” any couple can develop to set them on the path of a soulful, enduring relationship. For more go to https://chelseawakefield.com/

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Episodes

Episode 11 - The Challenges of Communication

In episode 11, Dr. Wakefield and Lisa discuss the challenges of communication in a relationship. It takes emotional maturity to pause, reflect, and slow down especially when conflicts escalate. Also in this episode, you will learn more about: John Gottman’s "4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse" - the most destructive dynamics in communication- Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. The power of using “I” language. Saying what you notice, feel, and want without blaming, or projecting by a...

Jul 21, 2023•35 min

Episode 10 - The Power of Curiosity

Chelsea and Lisa talk about how important it is to be "curious instead of furious." They visit topics covered in Chelsea Wakefield's book, The Labyrinth of Love" related to curiosity. They cover topics like: The uselessness of getting stuck in a "what happened" argument. Understanding our partner's Love Languages - paying attention to what speaks love in THEIR world. Shadow boxing - when we get caught in circular conflicts where we are just reacting to our partner's reactivity, and we are both u...

Jul 11, 2023•35 min

Episode 9 - Communication

In this episode, Chelsea and Lisa engage in a lively conversation about the importance of setting intentions early in the day and how we can communicate more lovingly and effectively in all of our relationships!

Jun 16, 2023•39 min

Episode 8 - Courage and Curiosity

In this episode Dr. Wakefield and Lisa, discuss the love capacities of courage and curiosity. It takes a lot of courage to face ourselves and to learn things about our partners that are surprising and sometimes disturbing. This is where we begin to encounter the fullness of who they are. This is where the real relationship begins! The “learning conversation” - how relationship can be like an anthropology study. It is so important to cross the bridge into the other person’s world and try to look ...

Feb 18, 2023•45 min•Season 1Ep. 8

Episode 7 - Courage in Relationships

Dr. Wakefield and Lisa explore the love capacity of courage and how important it is in the journey of love. Courage is built by practicing it. Loving someone will inevitably involve some pain, because we are all imperfect people. So, how do we keep our hearts open? The greatest enemy of love is fear. For people with a history of trauma, how do you take that self-protective "heart-wall" down and have the courage to love again? Dr. Wakefield and Lisa offer some helpful suggestions for ways of sust...

Jan 07, 2023•36 min•Season 1Ep. 7

Episode 6 - Labyrinths and Love Capacities

Dr. Wakefield and Lisa cover a lot of topics in this episode, beginning with a discussion about labyrinths, and how walking the path of relationship is like walking a labyrinth. We cover the difficulties of being with a partner who is not interested in doing any personal work and the questions of “should I stay, or should I go?”. We delve further in the six love capacities by talking about commitment. How it is to a person, a process and to presence. We talk about the problem of an “instant pudd...

Oct 28, 2022•39 min

Episode 5 - Exit Ramps Off The Conflict Highway

Dr. Wakefield and Lisa talk about developing the capacity to “shift states” – moving out of our responsible parent selves into playful lovers and true friends. They discuss John Gottman’s, “four horsemen of the apocalypse” – criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling and how these become corrosive in relationships. Dr. Wakefield suggests that before blaming a partner for our distress, we should do our own inner work first. We are often "shadow boxing" when we don't understand the root of o...

Jul 31, 2022•39 min•Season 1Ep. 5

Episode 4 - The Swamplands of Love

Dr. Chelsea Wakefield and co-host Lisa Stutzman Graves discuss topics in Chapter 5 of Dr. Wakefield's book, The Labyrinth of Love, .what happens in "the swamplands." This is the time we find ourselves moving deeper into the relationship. Our inner abandoned kids, vulnerable teenagers and array of other characters start to show up and we don't know what to do about it. Intimate relationships stir up a lot of memories from the past, memories that have been dormant for many years. Dr. Wakefield ans...

Jul 20, 2022•34 min

Episode 3 - Triggers and Complexes

This week Chelsea and Lisa talk about how our early experiences can develop “complexes” or triggers in us. These can easily get stirred up as our partners become emotional important to us. They discuss helpful ways to try and deal with this.

Jun 22, 2022•35 min•Season 1Ep. 3

Episode 2 - Attachment Styles

Dr. Chelsea Wakefield and Co-host Lisa Stutzman-Graves talk about how once two people start to really matter and the “you and me”becomes a “we,” all sorts of surprising and often unsettling emotions can arise. How we were loved and responded to in our early years imprints our sense of trust in love, and how comfortable we are with closeness. Our unexpected differences pose relationship challenges.

May 05, 2022•41 min•Season 1Ep. 2

Episode 1 - Falling In Love

Author of "The Labyrinth of Love" Dr. Chelsea Wakefield and Co-host Lisa Stutzman-Graves talk about the intoxicating effects of falling in love with a new person, how to deal with the transition into a long term relationship and how to resolve conflicts with loved ones to maintain a strong bond.

Mar 31, 2022•39 min•Season 1Ep. 1

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