Starting All Over Again After your Breakup : How to Realize your Full Potential

holds. Or sometimes like a black hole, where you just have absolutely no idea of how you can move forward, and what the future would look like without your ex biocide. And often it's normal. If your confidence is no your self esteem has taken a bashing. And this is all

completely understandable. Now, I know that some of you listening are going through a breakup for the first time a serious breakup, I mean, so having to rebuild your life and do what seems like start from scratch all over again can be really daunting. Now a pop star from California who was 21 years old, flew to the UK a few years back to work with me on exactly this, she'd gone through a very devastating breakup. And even with the success she has in her career, she was struggling to

see a future for herself. And now obviously, at the age of 21, it's important to learn the lessons and know that you can bounce back from these things. And actually, it's an important life lesson to work out pretty early on in your life, what works and what doesn't work for you to go back and learn from the mistakes spotting the red flags, of which in this case, there were many, and use those lessons to go on and create a better life for yourself with those lessons back, so you're

not going to make them again. So it's a great time in life, to learn from mistakes. Okay, it's important from any breakup to learn from what went wrong. So you can bank those lessons and turn your life around, especially if you're going through your first breakup. And I know it can seem all consuming. We all remember our first breakup, right? Even those of you listening, you've been through many relationships, or maybe a later on in life, we can all remember our first heartbreak because it is

painful. And it's unlike any other pain. So actually understanding that we learn from these tough times and we can turn it around is important. So is your first breakup. Well, okay, this is a good lesson, you need to bank it. And let's move on, because there are plenty more opportunities out there. And it's important that we don't let that sidetrack us or that one person. So early on, makes a big negative impact on our lives. However, I know there's many of you listening, who have been

through many breakups. And one of my clients, Sally has actually been through two divorces. And she said to me recently, so I'm so tired. I just don't know if I've got the energy to start all over again. Now, Sally have been through two pretty tough breakups. And the second divorce kind of mirrored the first one really, and Sally had had to move home downsize after the first of all, and again, was facing that prospect of her second divorce. And she said to me, I know I can do it,

because I've done it before. I'm just so tired. So how do you power through and realize your own potential from a breakup, because potential is still there. Whether it's your first breakup or your fifth breakup, it doesn't matter. It's okay to get knocked down in life, it's okay to have to reset and go back to ground zero. The fact that you've done it before means that you know, you can do it again. And that's important, you will actually find it easier to do it, the more times you've

done it. It's what I call the boomerang effect. the more times you get knocked down, the faster you learn to bounce back. It's not what happens to you in life that makes you the person you are. It's what you do about it that defines you. And if you look at the stories about people that have come from real adversity, it's important to realize that actually, it's not the adversity that affects them. It's their mindset.

In fact, top researchers in positive psychology has shown that only 10% of long term happiness is based on external factors. 90% comes from our interpretation of life. And how our brain processes the world that we find ourselves in, for example, they need to children playing in the dirt in very poor areas. And some of those kids were happy. And some of them were sad. So what made the

difference? How come some of them were happy and enjoying themselves, and some of them were sad, or what the research showed was, it was really down to how we process the world we find ourselves in. And this was also true with people who have money. We all know people who've got lots and lots of money, and you think, gosh, would he be really happy because they've got financial security and stability, which gives you options, and I guess peace of mind that some of them are

happy. And some of them are sad. How does that work? Well, again, it comes back to the fact that only 10% of our long term happiness is based on those external factors. So what we have in life 90% comes from how we process it ourselves. So are you a glass half empty person?

Or are you a glass half full person, because again, that will really influence how you tap into your potential and what you can do to turn your life around, you control the filters that you see the world through, okay, so if you have been in the past a glass half empty, that's okay, consciously making an effort to change that is possible, and you can start to unlock your potential and rebuild your future just the way you want it.

There are many success stories in life of people that have overcome huge adversities, and gone on to turn their life around, and got out of really tough situations where their siblings didn't. So it really is an individual perception of life, which you can control. If you're listening to this and thinking, Okay, I want to do something with my life, I want to turn things around, I want to after this breakup, rebuild my life, to go on and make it even better, so that I can be even

happier than I was before. You may not know how right now, you may not have all the steps, you may not have all the resources, right now, the key to this is dreaming big. But interestingly, the key is not how clever you are, how intelligent you are. My client married the other day was saying to me, sorry, I just am not very clever. I'm not intelligent, I did really badly at school. And I just don't think I'm capable of doing this. I know I'd like to, but I just don't think I'm the kind of

person that can. Now did you know that actually, academic ability has very, very little to do with how successful you are in life, it might get you into the game, being academically bright. But it's how you get along with other people. Combined with how you handle yourself. That is really the game changer, that really makes a difference. So how you process the world is so much more important than your academic ability or your IQ, optimism and belief will really help you unlock your potential.

dreaming big and taking steps towards realizing those dreams is where it comes from. You can be very, very clever. You can be great at maths greatest science. If you don't believe that you can turn your life around that digging deep will unlock that potential Can you can stay stuck. So how do you unlock your potential after a breakup? Well, let's look at what you want to achieve. Creating your breakup bucket list of what you want

your life to look like. And things you can do that you could never have done before is an essential step along the way. dreaming big as to what would you like your life to look like. So that blank canvas we talked about or that black hole becomes brighter with more color, shining a light into that space, and putting up as many ideas getting creative, and just dreaming as big as you want. And forget resources forget the money it might take forget the academic ability it might take.

What is important is that you dream big. And you look at the world glass half full. And believe that you can get that. And the next step is to write down three things that will take you just a little bit closer. Now at this point, they might be really small, they might be investigating or researching on the internet, it might be making a phone call to somebody, it might be asking your friends for

their advice and support. And make sure when you do that you're talking to the friends that have that can do attitude are not the ones that have glass half empty. Because you want to surround yourself at times like this with people who believe in you to believe people that can support you. Because Because the responsibility for the energy you bring into this space into your world comes from you.

There's two kinds of people, right the people that bring energy and light up a room and those that drain is way If you really are committed to unlocking your potential after your breakup to go on and achieve whatever you want to achieve, it's important that you surround yourself on this journey with people that will at least support you and be there with you, not people that will pull you down or mock you for stepping outside. What was your previous conference? So what do

you want to be? How do you want to shine your light into your future to create opportunities that you can step up and grab. Because the sooner you do that, the sooner you start to think creatively about what life could look like, what you'd like in your life going forward, the sooner you can start on that journey to unlock your potential. Once you take one or two steps, other opportunities start to show themselves you'll meet new people, new ideas will

pop into your head. And before you know it, that blank canvas is full of color before you know that that black hole has some light shining right through it. So you can see the way forward you can see different opportunities, but it comes from you. Remember, the past doesn't have to define you. It's up to you and you can turn it around whether you are super smart or

not at all. If you're good with people, if you look at the opportunities rather than the closed doors, and focus your mind on what you can have and what you can become. That is the way to move from the heartbreak and the feeling stuck towards a happier life that you are truly excited to live. Thank you for listening to today's episode and allowing me to help guide you from your heartbreak to your greatest happiness. I look forward to you joining me.