Welcome to the heartbreak to happiness show with Sara Davison. If you're struggling with a breakup and you feel shocked, angry, betrayed, devastated, or sad and alone, then this podcast is for you. best selling author and award winning hosts Sara Davison shares how you too can get on with your life to heal, grow and move from heartbreak to happiness. here's your host, Sara Davis.
Welcome back to the show. And today my guests are Brian and Janice Muldoon. They are known as the go to power team for coaches and consultants who want to build a profitable business online. Now they will be celebrating 21 years of marriage this year. Janice is stepmom to Brian's daughter Kristin from his first marriage, and they are grandparents who had three lovely children. They came together having both been
through divorce. And they started out as good friends, which turned into love all those years ago. Now, Brian and Janice are partners not only in life, but also in business. They help entrepreneurs grow and scale their businesses online with their most method program. They've been entrepreneurs for over 20 years. And Brian started out as a professional musician, and Janice was a salon owner for 10 years. She sold that business and moved on to focus on real estate and property development.
They started their current coaching business back in 2012. When they relocated to the UK from Canada, I've been working with them since we met back in early 2017. They also work with my good friend and previous podcast guests. Bernardo Moya, founder of the best view and CEO of NLP live training, as well as working with many other well known names in the personal development space. They are still best friends, and their relationship is stronger
than ever. So I'm definitely going to be asking them about how they're doing that during the pandemic, because it hasn't always been easy for them. Making a marriage work and being business partners can be a challenge. And they will be the first to admit that it takes work and patience. So I am super excited to welcome the amazing Janice and Brian Muldoon to the show.
Thanks for having us. Yeah.
Oh, no, it's great to have you guys. Thanks so much for coming on. Now, I've got so many questions to ask you guys. Because obviously, we've known each other for a while we've worked together for a while, and you've had a massive positive impact on my business. So I am a super fan of both of yours. And we've become friends as well, which has been amazing. So do you want to tell us all a little bit about your background?
Because obviously, my listeners are going through breakups or struggling to move on and find love again. Do you want to tell us a little bit about your background? I know you've both been married before you met each other, right? Yeah, that's right.
Well, I was married, first of all to my high school sweetheart. So I came from a family. You know, I know now looking back, you know, how much we're influenced our environment. And my mom and dad met really young in their, I think their first jobs after they got out of school. And they married and were married for 50 years until my mom passed away. My sister and her husband aren't married. They met when they were 15 in high school while they're
still married. So I kind of like had my high school sweetheart and was like, right, this is the next thing that you do. So unfortunately, we jumped right into marriage at 21 and hadn't really done anything or explored anything. So it just it didn't work out. How long were you guys married for? We were only married for a year and a half.
Quit marriage. So it was and then how did that end? And what did you manage to say amicable given that you've known each other for so long?
Yeah, it was actually my decision. I just realized I you know, I was so young. I hadn't done anything. I was just like, Oh, this is what you do. You get married and you you know, but um, it was obviously it was tough in the beginning, but we were such good friends. And we because we've known each other's families since we were kids. Yeah, we always remained really good friends. So still to this day. If I'm back in Canada and we run into each other. That's
great. I would usually make a point of saying his mum hit her and I've stayed really close. So thank goodness for that. Yeah. Wow, that's really nice that you can stay friends and And has he gone on and met somebody else? Yes, yes, he's married and he has a little girl. So yeah, he's got a lovely family. And yeah, it's super. He's a great he's a wonderful, wonderful person. It was just not, not the right fit and not the right time. not meant to be not meant to be.
Well, it's a great example of conscious uncoupling where you can
Stay amicable. Yeah. Well done you guys. Yeah, Brian, what about you?
Yeah, my mine was a little bit different. I was just a teenage guy out with my friends, having fun, want to meet girls and do that typical thing. And so that's what happened. I met this girl. And the time I think was probably about 18, close to 19. And, yeah, I mean, I was really attracted to her. And, you know, we're in then it, you know, within about six months or so, I could just really tell like, we
weren't really well suited. You know, so there was, you know, we used to get into arguments and things like that, like, you know, young couples often do, especially when you're not aligned, which we weren't. But, you know, in my limited dating experience, I didn't really have the tools and the skills to understand, like, why was this going on? I just thought, like, why you like that, and she was thinking, the same thing. And
then she fell pregnant. During that time, in fact, you know, we actually split up, and then I got a call, you know, a couple of weeks later, wow. So suddenly, I was now going to be a dad. And so, you know, my, my dad, who had already passed by that time, I lost my dad at a young age, but really admired my dad. And he said, you know, if you get a girl pregnant, you marry her. And, you know, ignorance, call what you will.
That's what I did. You know, I thought that was the thing to do, even though, you know, I didn't feel like it was the right thing. But, you know, through that, I mean, we did kind of sort of put down our swords, so to speak, you know, because we realize there's a baby coming and stuff. And yeah, so my daughter Kristen was born. And, you know, she's obviously one of the greatest things that have ever happened in my life.To this day, in fact, it was her
birthday yesterday. But yeah, and so yeah, basically, we went on for a couple of years like that. And then, you know, I just realized that this just wasn't gonna work. And I just didn't want to be a part of it anymore. And so we actually ended up talking through it, I was, I was actually playing in bands at the time I started doing that. And unfortunately, you know, it's just sort of an ultimatum, you know, you're either going to do that, or it's going to be us.
And I just was sort of like, Don't make me make that choice. But anyway, we both actually ended up agreeing, that wasn't a good fit. And we said, well, let's just be great parents to Kristen. And so that worked out really well. We're both you know, I was able to be in her life whenever I wanted. And, you know, I would go to their house, your mom's house, you know, when she got her report card, we'd have dinner and go through it. And so it was actually pretty,
pretty good. It was pretty healthy in that respect.
Well, that's great. I mean, if you can do that, despite your differences, and I think that says a lot about you. Sometimes that is a real challenge. And I obviously see clients every day who struggle with exes. And and it's funny, like you said, sometimes you just don't realize if you look back to that relationship, and you're like, I don't know why you're like that. But actually, as time goes on, we get a bit older, we get a bit wiser, right? We learn that not everybody's the same. We all do
things differently. Yeah, that's right. Exactly. Yep, definitely. Yeah. So do you think going through a divorce is different for men and women? Because obviously, we we tend to cope with things differently? Do you think you coped with things differently back then,
I would say for me, because it was my decision, what I dealt with was a lot of guilt. I dealt with a lot of guilt. Because I cared about him so much. And he was such a wonderful person that I just I read, it took me a long time to get over that, that I was like, Oh my god, that I did that to him, and, and even my own family and stuff, too, because my parents were devastated. And, you know, for me, that's really
what it was. I you know, years later, you kind of you come to the realization that we were so very different. And I don't think it would ever have worked out. So you know, coming to that realization is one thing, and now, especially since he has moved on and has a wonderful family and stuff. But yeah, I felt a lot of guilt over it. Yeah, I think a lot of my listeners will also have experienced that at some point. How do you think it's best to
get over guilt? Because it doesn't like you said you were amicable and walked away.
So was there anything you could do to shift that guilt?
I think honestly, for me, well, the other thing was to that I jumped into a relationship like right after two. So that added to the guilt. So yeah, yeah. I really think just it, for me at that time because I was so young. It was just a matter of time where I finally had to forgive myself that I was just, I just didn't have the tools to realize that I was going down a road that I shouldn't have been going down in the first place. It was just
too immature, you know? So it's just really overtime, I had to realize that everybody's moved on. And yes, there were hurt feelings and all of that stuff. But it was best for everyone in the end. So I just had to forgive myself. Really?
Yeah, I think I forgiveness is important, I think and forgiving yourself is important. Because actually, if you stay with someone, and you don't really love them, or you don't want to be with them, that's not fair on them. So even though it's hard to walk away, you're actually helping them in a way get a chance of being truly loved by someone. So in some ways, it's a kind thing to do, even though I totally get the old thing. Yeah. 100%. Yes. So Brian, how did you cope, your
Yeah, I mean, I think in that situation, I think really, breakup? Do you think men deal with things differently? our focus for both of us really just shifted to, to the welfare of our daughter. And that became, I guess, you know, the, I guess, the helped us get through it. I mean, for me, you know, I definitely, you know,
was ready to move on. So, I mean, I was saddened by it, you know, I mean, I thought this idea of a family, and now it's sort of essentially like a broken home, as it's sometimes referred to, but I just wanted to be the best dad. possible. And Kristen's mom felt the same way. So we really just kind of threw our energy and our focus into that. And, and just really, you know, I think we both just wanted to see something good
come out of it. So it kind of, in a way, there wasn't so much grieving as there was, I think, more thinking, Well, what do I do now? You know, now I'm, now I'm this young man, and I got a child. And, you know, that became a whole other dynamic for me internally about who's gonna want to be with me and I got a, you know, as a, you know, I was at that time like, I got a kid, you know?
Yeah, there is, I guess, sometimes, stigma that you've got people call it baggage donate.And you think, gosh, is anyone gonna accept me for you know, who I am? Plus?We all have flaws, right? Those if you want to accept me for who I am, and then also, I've got a child in tow, do you think that makes an impact on people?
Yeah, definitely. Um, I mean, certainly for me, you know, sometimes, you know, in a dating situation, maybe it was more so me. But I found that kind of, I waited for the what I thought was the right time to sort of broach the subject. And yeah, I used to feel like, you know, what, what's their temp? I used to do like a temp check. I'd say so like, I have a child,
I have a daughter. And they'd be like, Oh, you know, and so I would really sort of try and read their physiology at that point, you know, and get it get a temperature to see like, are they just being nice? And they're like, I'm out? Are they like, Oh, that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. And, you know, I mean, I was like, 21. So, I mean, anyone that I was dating probably didn't really grasp the concept that, you know, because at that point,
I'm sure for them. They were like, well, that's his child, you know. It was like, yeah, cramping their style. Yeah, yeah, that did make it difficult. You know, there were a couple of people I do recall that I dated and dated for some time. And, and I really did feel that, that they wanted my attention more than then respecting and appreciating that I was a dad and I wanted to be a father to my daughter. And then so that, you know, well, ultimately, I lost respect for
them. I saw that it wasn't a good fit, and it ended anyway.
I think some people find it hard, don't they? Because you're there in a relationship. I think before I had kids, I may have been the same. To be honest. I think it was having my own son that made me realize that, that love isn't a competition, right? That love is a different love you have for a child than you do for your partner. But actually, I mean, I know Janice, you don't have kids, but you seem to understand that didn't you from the
beginning. So how did you manage to cope with that was, Brian said others failed?
Well, to be honest, it did. I mean, at the beginning, it did freak me out a little bit because Brian and I were friends for a while first so I had met his daughter already. So first of all, she has always I'm not just saying this. She's always been an amazing kid. Like she's always she was just always so sweet and respectful and lovely. So that really helped. Um, but when we actually started dating, I was like, Oh my goodness, because I was Brian obviously started very young. He had her
when he was very young. And he's a few years older than me. So I was only 27. And I'm like, oh, my goodness, okay, all of a sudden, I'm dating this guy with a teenage daughter. Wow. So I was like, it did freak me out a little bit, but you know what it occur. And I have always been really good friends. And I don't know whether it was because of that. Or maybe because I was a little bit younger, she might have thought it was cool at that time, or something. I don't know. But um, I just, I, I loved
Brian so much. And it was she was so easy. She was so easy to love to that it just, you know, any kind of hesitations that I had just made us one away.
And that's pretty crazy. You know, because when you think about someone loving someone else's child, you know, even I think for me they're through there was a time when I found it hard to buy into that even with Janice and I maybe buy into it is maybe not the right word, I guess. Just to really believe it. Like I'm almost in my own mind. But but like she's from someone else, like how can you
possibly love her? But then, you know, obviously, I've come to realize it love is love, you know, and love truly is blind. And her love with Kristin is a different kind of love them maybe Kristin has with her mom, or you know, but it's so genuine. I know how much Janice loves her. Now, obviously, that's fantastic. And I just think it's brilliant that Janice came to love her. And she loves Janice, and the two of them are crazy about each other. Oh,
well. I mean, I know Janice, well, she is an amazing woman with such a big heart.
I totally get that you're very lucky by You're very lucky.
In the world I am I'm very lucky. And I'm grateful every day for
because that you know the step mom, if you look at like fairy tales, or you know, the general portrayal of stepmoms. It's like the big bad, isn't it? And I know, you know, there are difficulties when you introduce new partners for children, it can be really, really challenging for the kids to accept. But also if your partner is dating someone who isn't particularly nice, your kids. So that can be really hard and put a lot of pressure intention on the other parent
when the kids go off. Right. So the very fact that you know, you guys get on and it works. It's brilliant. But do you have any advice as stepmom to two people out there who are struggling? You know, maybe they think their exes partner isn't so nice.
Well, yeah, I mean, really, it's because I've seen it with other friends of mine. And I think the only thing that you can do is just be kind to yourself, you know, obviously, be totally open with your partner about how you're feeling about it. Because it's it's not an easy role to step into. And especially sometimes with, you know, the kids, obviously, if they're going through their own struggles, they may be, might not want somebody else with
their dad, right? They feel like what you had said there could be sort of a competition going on there. So I think just, you know, trying to be there and be a friend for the children, and just being totally open and honest with your partner about how you're feeling and you're doing your best.
Yeah, exactly. What if you're on the other side? You know, what if there is a parent that maybe isn't a step parent that isn't being so kind to the kids or isn't being so nice? Yeah. Do you have any tips for people that are struggling? Because it's difficult, sometimes I guess, to separate, you're upset with your ex for whatever they may have done, especially if they've left you for that person. And then how
they are with your kids. I mean, I guess the best thing is, if they're kind to your kids, then yeah, that's a bonus. And you've got to be happy with that and take your personal emotions out of it, to say that I might not particularly like you because you had an affair with my partner, but you're kind to my kids. So at the end of the day, that's a blessing. But if they're not so kind, what can you do? If there's anyone listening right now is going through that?
For me, I think he just, you know, I mean, when you have strong feelings for someone, it's not just cut and dried, you know, you don't just go well, you know, if it's not this way, then this is not going to work out. I would say that, you know, you do have to really be in alignment with your values and your standards. And I always would try to be respectful and mindful that look, I'm the one that has a child. But I love my child, and I'm proud of my child
and she's a brilliant child. And so, for me, you know, if this doesn't work for you, I understand, but you're not going to mold me or manipulate me into being less than that for my daughter. Doesn't mean I don't care about You, but you're starting to test the relationship and you're starting to put unrealistic expectations into place, which ultimately, I knew was the beginning of the dismantling of it anyway. So I
just came to that resolve. Look, she's not good enough for you, then I guess neither of us are good enough for you. So that was Yeah, take on it.
Yeah, I agree. I agree. So you guys are together? How long? Have you been together now? A long time, right.
It'll be 23 years together. Yeah. And a couple of months, 23 years?
Wow, that's amazing. Well, well done. And lockdown is putting so much pressure on relationships right now. Yeah, I see. So many couples who would have lasted the test of time, if it wasn't for the pandemic, you know, maybe their lifestyle means they're out and about more, you have got different social groups of friends, different hobbies, different interests, working, coming together, you know, in the evenings, or weekends, whatever, but not all day, every day working on top of each other
and managing the kids. So, you know, how are you guys coping with that, because you guys really are an amazing couple. And you work together, as well, which, again, is another added pressure in any relationship? So what would your top tips be to have a successful relationship, especially during times like this?
We were speaking about this with this newest lockdown. I don't know why we're finding it just more challenging than you know, I think everybody's kind of getting to the end of their rope with the whole thing. Yeah, I mean, we have the advantage that we already have a pretty good sort of system, because we do work together as well. Right? But even with that said, Yeah, not being able to get out and socialize with other people or just have your own
space. Yeah, we've definitely found that we sort of maybe a little bit snappy and things like that. I mean, I think for me, I would say that just giving each other a little bit of space, even just in the house, you know, going and reading a book somewhere in a different room, or maybe just going out for a walk by yourself, just getting a little bit of a little bit of space, I think is helpful for everybody.
Yeah, definitely agree with that. Yeah. And I think it's just also, you know, it can be very easy to get defensive. Like, why are you talking to me like that? What do you mean by that? Sorry, you know, and just laughing here, because she's thinking, Oh, that's just about really, it's hard. But, you know, for me, what I do, and I work really hard at it is to remind myself that I'm not the only one going through this, you know, everyone's being affected
by it. So it allows me to stop and go, maybe in this case, you know, I might say, she's having a tough day today. That's okay. So what can I What can I do? So much patience for me. I'm so lucky. Yeah, I mean, that said, Janice has no patience.
That is true, that is very impatient. Definitely. He's not lying about that. That's something I need to work on on a regular basis.
But truthfully, though, you know, we have been together 23 years now married 21. There are things that happen in the evolution of a marriage, you know, the longer that you're together, you actually, I can say, for us, you get to a point, where, you know, we did come to a point where we were seriously considering separating, and it was a really tough time. But, you know, I knew what was on the
other side of that. And I went, yeah, like, but then more so importantly, I thought, what would life be like, without this person? You know, I went No way, I'm not gonna I'm not willing to give that up. I want to fight for it. And turned out, Janice felt the same way. And so my point is that when you get to a point where you just are determined to figure it out together, you know, like, not being together is no longer an
option. And, you know, we've we've faced a lot of challenges, like every one has, you know, in any kind of relationship. But I think we're at a point now, where you really, truly shift to what I call devotion. You're totally devoted, and you're like, you know, you just really care more about the other person and what they need, then you do yourself. And I think that comes as a result of, I don't know,
what do you think? Yeah. Well, yeah, I think once you've battled a lot of storms along the way, and you have made it through the other side. Yeah, I mean, it definitely everything that you go through just makes it stronger. Right.
Yeah, absolutely. I think a lot of my listeners, they will have been going in in relationships for a long time and then suddenly get blindsided. So it's great to hear that when you get to those tough times it is possible to push through, but I guess you both have to be committed to
that. Yeah. And I love that devotion thing, Brian because I think that's something that is selfless and puts you in a vulnerable spot which actually, yeah, that defensive those comments were talking about earlier about being divisive. What What do you mean? What do you mean by that? That that is what sort of fractures a relationship but sort of taking on gang look, you know, I'm devoted I, you know, I love you and take me as I am kind of
thing actually. It but you both have to be committed, right? Because if one of you isn't, as I know, for my marriage doesn't work. So you can be as devoted as trying as hard as you like, but if the other person's on the way out, then unfortunately, that is that right?
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you got to work at it together. 100%, it can't work with just one person.
Sometimes people do fall out of love, you know, maybe one of the partners just, you know, the spark is gone. And that's unfortunately, you know, like you said, sometimes people get blindsided, you know, people keep it inside, they try to, you know, negotiate themselves through and figuring I'll just stick with it, it might get better, and they've just lost
that connection. But, you know, for anyone who's in a relationship, you know, knowing that there are going to be trials, there's going to be complications, there's going to be things that come up, you're going to hurt each other. There's all sorts of things. But I think the biggest thing that I learned, and I've learned that I think really helped me be a better husband, and a better friend to Janice, was that when I was in at times in places where I wasn't happy with my
relationship. And I, you know, really, I was just, it was just because I was completely connected with myself. All I was thinking about was, you know, why is this happening to me? And you know, what, why is she being late and when she should be more like that, and she should understand this. And it's not a big deal that I did that and, you know, relax and all this
stuff. And, you know, it was only like I said, when we were at the break, when I realized I need to change, I need to become a better husband, I need to become a better person. And so I made the commitment to go on that journey. Because for me, personally, I just had that awakening. It's like I had that clarity, where I went, you've got everything that you need, man, you're just being an idiot. You gotta get your act together.
Well, that's very sweet. I think you know, if everyone could do that, then yeah, it's a great lesson to learn. And I think for my listeners, knowing that there's hope out there that you know, listening to your story about how you both went through a divorce. Brian, you had a kid, you still went on and met each other. And I know that you were friends first. How if people are out there, because I know there's like a real thing right now of people going back in
time. And maybe it's the Facebook thing to remember friends reunited, though, when that came out, everyone was connecting with friends they had before they were married, or there's a lot of that going on right now. I guess, because of the pandemic, everyone's online. And if you're going through a breakup, this seems to be quite common thing right now to check out your boyfriend or your girlfriend from ages ago, or people that you're really good
friends with. Actually, I was chatting to a friend last night, and she was saying how she'd reached out to a guy we all knew they were all just friends that we were just friends at school, but and she's connected with him and they've had a few hookups actually well before the lockdown happened. So it is quite a thing. But how do you tip that balance from being friends to something else? Because you guys said you were friends first? What happened to tip that balance?
You can tell? You got to get past the weirdness.
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's quite funny. If we have a second I'd like to even rewind a little bit further because I sort of when I look at us, our been together all these years, and everything that's happened in our lives. And I think about the first time I met Brian, and it just absolutely makes me laugh my head off. Because Okay, so I was working at a really upmarket hair salon. Right. It was a hairdresser. And we had this new
this was the 90s. Right? So we had this new computer system where people could come in and it would show you different hairdos. I mean, you can do that on your phone now, but this is what it was like that. So this girl who used to come to my boss, my boss was her stylist. She bought her boyfriend at the time who turned out to be Brian, this computer imaging thing because he's like, Oh, I want to get a new look. But what they didn't realize what they didn't have it set up for guys. It was
only for women. So he shows up at the salon. It's all a big disaster, right? But I end up cutting his hair. Now. This is the funny part. So he decides he wants a totally different look. And it was during those times remember like Antonio Banderas, George and George Clooney. They all had that really, really short hair with a really short teeny fringe. Yeah, I was I was
really good at my job. But if somebody asked for something that was going to look ridiculous, I would tell them but also on this occasion, for some reason, I didn't think it was gonna look ridiculous. So I set out cutting his hair. And I'm halfway through it. And I'm thinking, Oh, dear, this is really bad. This looks so bad.
Imagine Dumb and Dumber.
Yeah, so he looked more like that than he looked like George Clooney. So to cut a very long story short, I was mortified about it, his girlfriend was totally pissed off, because I made him look like an idiot. And I go, I had a really good guy friend at the time, who were still very good friends with and I found him I'm like, Oh, my God, I just completely ruined this guy's hair. He was such a nice guy. And we were chatting and stuff.
And I'm like, I made him look like a complete idiot, his girlfriend's ticked off and the whole thing. So long story short, about six months later, this friend of mine ends up working with Brian. So he's like this, this girl that calls you Janice, and they put it together, the salon that I worked at, he's like, that's the guy you turned into Dumb and Dumber.
We ended up being friends. From then. Two and a half for a couple of years,
We were friends and we hung out a lot. And then this other guy was the three of us that hung out most of the time, then he ended up going out with a girl dating a girl. So he was kind of off on his own. So we were spending more time together just the two of us. And I think it just started to you know, started to have feelings for each other again, though, I think at that time, I was still a little bit because he had his teenage daughter and I'm thinking I'm something I don't
know. But then for me, I just couldn't deny it anymore. After a while.
Have you let Janice cut your hair again?
Yeah, actually, um, she she started cutting my hair. Like, you know, like I said, I was playing in bands and stuff on the weekends having a great time. And so I had this really great rock do going on all the time, I only made that one mistake, I was okay. Like cutting all these, like local
musicians she would. And then you know, like anyone at that time that I worked for, you know, they'd often you know, I'd hook them up, like women that I worked with, and then they send them to Janice, they'll be like, Wow, she's fabulous. I love my hair. And so Janice was a is an amazing stylist. Actually, she's really,
Except for that one day, that one day, but hey, maybe that was the magic that
I like to think so give us something to talk about.
Absolutely. Now, you guys are known as like the Power Team for coaches to go to and I know, you've helped me transform my business and helped me along the way to grow a global coaching brand. So I guess there's so many people out there going through tough times. And as coaches, I know that, you know, I come to you guys as well. And I'm lucky enough to have you as friends ask for advice in difficult situations.
And you've always been outstanding and highly recommend you both as incredible coaches. And I say that from the heart because you know, I don't go to many people. And I would definitely you know, and do come to you, as you know. So how do you keep yourself going? And what advice do you have for people right now, if they're going through a breakup, they're listening, you know, they're going through heartbreak. You
guys are the go to team? How would you recommend that people, you know, just your top tips for coping with heartbreak and channeling that into happiness ultimately.
Okay, so, I mean, there's so much to that, really, but thank you for what you just said, Sorry, because you're an amazing coach yourself. And so thank you so much for, for saying that. Anyone who's listening in on this, and you know, you're going through a difficult breakup, and there's sadness, and there's heartache there. First of all, I totally get it. Anyone who has been in love and lost love knows what
that feels like. But what I do want to say is that you have to tap into what makes you great, and not let your identity remain in that last relationship, because you've got to come out the other side of it. And the only way to do that is to step into what made you that attractive person in the first place. And know that you're still that person. And that maybe, you know, listen, it's it hurts, and we never forget it,
but we need to move on. And the only way to do that is to create a new vision for yourself.
Something that's going to allow you to look ahead instead of looking in the rearview mirror, and you know, wishing what it could have been like and you know, that sort of thing, that those sort of things because it can be really, really painful when we do that and that grieving process can go on and on and linger and linger and, you know can we can get into you know, bad habits and experienced depression and you know, just sort of self loathing and that's
not the key. The key is to really figure out who you want to be maybe who you were when you were your best self before we even got into a relationship and figure out who was I being at that time? And what do I need to do to go back and start doing that and create a empowering future for myself? That's my take on it.
Yeah, absolutely. I really agree. Get back to yourself and shifting your focus on some more empowering things will definitely help you move forward. Now, how do people find out more about you, I know you've got an online program that helps coaches grow their businesses similar to what I've been doing with you. So can you tell us a little bit more about that?
Yeah, so we, you know, as coaches ourselves, we recognize that it's, it's a challenging industry to be in, you know, people become accredited and LP or whatever, they, you know, and they're all fired up, and they want to get out there and use these tools that they have to help people. But it's challenging to stand out from the crowd, you know, so yeah, we put this program together called the most method, you can go to get the most
method.com. And basically, what we do is we take our members through a three month program where we help them to get their message together, we help them to create a compelling offer, and put the systems in place. So you know, they're able to attract clients and take them through basically a, a process where they will end up working with them at some point, whether it be through coaching or group coaching or buying their online programs. So yeah, it's been it's been really wonderful.
We've, we're so fortunate that we've been able to work with people like you. And, you know, it's just so nice to be able to see when you can work together to make an impact. And and obviously, you're reaching people all over the world, you got clients all over the world now. So it's amazing to be able to be a part of that. Yeah.
You guys are amazing, and great fun to work with as well, which always makes a difference if there are anybody there. Is anyone out there looking to grow a coaching business and struggling with reaching clients, and do do reach out to Brian and Janice, just one last question for you before we go. So my podcast is called heartbreak to happiness. Because I think, you know, we can all get back to happiness. But it can seem a bit tough at times, I know. But it's important to know what happiness
is right? So what is happiness for you guys?
Oh, geez, what is happiness? You know what, I've, for me, it's become very simple. You know, just and I think to be totally honest with you with this pandemic, and what we've been through the last year, it's become even more clear for me now is just enjoying every day enjoying the simple things and being present. You know, being with somebody that you love, and, you know, being able to experience things, and really just taking it all in instead of always thinking about the future
and being busy. And this and that. So I mean, happiness for me, is just being able to be present and spend time with the people that I love.
Yeah, Brian?
Yeah, I would say, if you're, if you're thinking like, if I only had this, then I would feel better. If you know, when I have this, or when I achieve that, then I'll be happy. If I could only get to, you know, earning so much per month. If I could only find this kind of person, I know, I'd be happy.The one thing that I learned from Tony Robbins is is pain, pain is inevitable, you know, we're going to experience pain in our
lifetime. We're going to lose things, we're going to lose people, but suffering is optional. And it's easy to stay in the suffering. And so if you're thinking like that, you know, don't wait for something to happen, design it for yourself and go out and get it. You know, don't settle for less than you deserve up your standards and ask more of yourself and ask for more for yourself.
You know one thing, Can I just throw this in now that you said that because now I something just came to me because this is I think it's very important. If people are listening to us right now, and they're like, oh, they've been married for all these years and stuff. Yeah, great. That's fine.
That's great for you. One thing that both Brian and I said to each other very, very early on was we both had come to a point we had both dated other people after we'd been divorced the first time, I knew that I was not willing to settle. I knew that I would never get into either remarrying or being in a serious long term relationship again, unless it was with somebody that I felt truly aligned with. And Brian was the same and I think that's why it worked.
And that you know, and I'm gonna just add one thing to that too, because again, this is all for your listeners is when that relationship came to an end when I had the goofy haircut, even though that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had to get rid of her somehow. I wasn't happy in that relationship that time either.
But here's the thing, here's the the kind of takeaway that I want to share is, you know, immediately I was like, Oh, you know, you feel these, your ego has been bruised, you know, you feel rejected. And even though you know, it was, it feels like, you know, I'm out of here and this and that is, I think the big thing is for me, I went great. So what does that actually mean, Brian? And I went, it means now I'm available
to meet the right person. I wasn't before when I stayed in that toxic, unhealthy relationship. So I completely reframed it for myself. I said, Well, great. You know, now I'm going to meet the person I'm supposed to meet. And I and I actually really believe that and started to feel that. I don't know. I'm just saying it turns out I did. But I'm just saying at the time when I didn't know, I just changed that. And I think that that's so important is don't be the victim be the victor.
Yeah, I love that. Don't be the victim be the victim. And I'm watching a webinar if you guys saw on Friday night with Pitbull and Tony Robbins. And that was one of the things that people were saying, don't be the victim be the victor was like, Yeah, I get that, you know, it's it is about stepping up, even when it's
tough. And small steps every day will help you know, and that and the fact that you guys, you know, I've been on the podcast shared your thoughts has been amazing, because I think you know, everybody needs to know that it can happen and it is possible and the fact that other people are making it happen and how they did that is really inspirational. So thank you guys for joining and for sharing some personal information that I know you don't normally share. So I really appreciate that. Thank
you so much. Thank you, Shara. Thank you. Thanks. That's it for today's episode, so be sure to head on over to get the most method.com To find out more about Brian and Janice, and I look forward to you joining me on our next episode. That's it for today's episode of heartbreak to happiness, head on over to iTunes and subscribe to
the show. One lucky listener every single week that posts a review in iTunes will win the chance in the grand prize drawing to win a private VIP day including exclusive one on one coaching with Sara Davison herself. Be sure to head on over to heartbreak to happiness podcast.com and pick up a free copy of Cyrus gift. Then join us on the next episode.