Oh, good morning, good afternoon, good day. Hello. I hope you are having a healthy day. Yes, this is the daily podcast from Body and Soul called Healthyish. Of course, I am the host of Felicity. Harley the Joyful Cat John joins me today. She is an authenticity coach speaker with a new book out called Authentic, and today we're focusing on her brilliant I'm Done with list, something she writes about in her new book. She's going to explain what it is exactly and why you need to do.
If you do like what you hear on this podcast. Listening to extra healthy Ish, where Kat discusses how to live your best life, you can catch that one wherever you get your podcasts. Kat. Nice to have you back. It's been a few years. Dare I say, I know?
I think it has.
Yeah, yeah, we should have got you on sooner. But now you're here with a new book. Congratulations. How does that feel.
It's as I was saying to you before, it is I'm holding two very different well I don't think they're two, but the weight of each emotion is one super excited, proud, pumped, let's rock, and then the other is I want to crawl under a rock and hide. Ah. So that's where I'm at at the moment with it.
There's something. I mean, you're quite vulnerable all over your social media anyway and in your podcast, but there's something even it's kind of like a next level of vulnerability when it comes to a book, isn't it.
Yeah, definitely, it's a new level. It's yeah, like you said, I am vulnerable, i am open, but there's something different about you in writing that's permanent that you can't raise and and you know, just let's take that down off the internet.
It is there now. There was something that jumped out in your book at me, and that was this whole idea of an I'm done with list. You have to tell us about this. What is it?
It's a practice. It's kind of like a stage practice, as you would have read where and people listening to this will have reached this point once twice multiple times in their life where they are fed up, over completely done with the way or a way they are in relationship with themselves, in relationship with life, in relationship to their relationships, in relationship to money, their well being, whatever
it may be. And it's kind of like they have tolerated and worn the ever so slowly wearing a way of their confidence, self belief, authentic way, whatever it may be, and they just reached this point of, Oh my gosh, I cannot, I cannot do this for one more fricking day. I cannot, I cannot, I will not. It's like all the the mind, the body, the solve, the heart unite together and say an almighty no, no, no, no, no, no no more. And there's a practice that I did
last year, which is what are you done with? And I wrote down thirty eight things. It was on my birthday, thirty eight things. I'm just so, it's just it's it where we are putting a goddamn line in the sand. And like you said before coming online, it is outrageously cathartic.
It is, isn't it. Can you share some of the things that were on that list that you did?
Oh yeah, I've got it right in front of it was I was like, oh what have I got? What have I got? So I've got thirty eight things, So let's have a look at some of them. Not letting myself watch a show or movie without guilt thinking I need to do more, to be more worrying about money, when I actually have money, calling myself fat and seeing myself through the eyes of being fat, what else being tormented by my past? Like there's a lot. Like I said, there's thirty eight things here, there's a lot.
It's I mean, it's cathartic, but it's also owning your thoughts and getting them out. I mean, there is something I know you do this, you journal, and that there's something about just those thoughts chipping away you, chipping away you, and then writing them down, seeing them in front of yourself and then thinking wow, like maybe yeah, I'll own it and now I can let it go.
Yeah. It's this absolutely the ownership piece. And it's I'm sick of hurting myself. I'm tired of hurting myself and treating myself like I don't deserve something beautiful or wonderful or that matters or that is my birthright, you know why. It's why am I hurting myself? And I think when we start to whether we have that language or not, when we start to do such a practice, we are inviting in softness, compassion, love, respect for the self, and then how we relate to those things that we are
done with. So, whether it be money, whether it be like I was talking about before, relationships, et cetera.
Yeah, you also write to you know, leave it a few days, perhaps a few weeks, and then come back and write a deeply sorry list. What's this about?
Yeah, yeah, So, I don't know if you've heard of so basically this is it's an alteration of the Hawaiian prayer hoe op and opono. I don't know if you've heard of that before. It's the prayer of I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and I love you. And I write about it further a little bit later on in the book after this, and I practice that prayer. It's a beautiful prayer for reconciliation with the self, with life, with others. It's stunning, really stunning. And so I did
an iteration of it. And so I went to each of the thirty eight things that I wrote down, and I wrote, I'm deeply sorry for each of those things. So, you know, for example, I'm you know, I'm done with seeing myself as fat. I'm done with seeing myself as whatever it may be. And so one of the things, I am deeply sorry for speaking unkindly to you and about your beautiful body that has carried you through this life.
You know, it's getting written, We're getting notches deeper. So thirty eight sorries for the thirty eight I'm done with. And it's again, it's it's taking in that ownership and deep apology because I mean, you think about it. We always say to our kids when you've done something wrong or when you've offended your sibling, you know, say sorry, et cetera. And you know, sometimes you can tell they
don't mean they're sorry. And I think that we do that to ourselves, where we talk about ourselves just so flippantly, so flippantly, and then when we reach this level of dumbness, there comes this oh my goodness, I cannot believe I have treated myself like this. I'm so sorry for that. I mean it, am Meana, I'm so sorry for it. And so that's the part that then follows the what I'm done with?
And often we say these things to ourselves and unconsciously, and we're not like many times a day, and it's not until you you know, find that breaking your thinking, or you go or you know, you take a bird's eye view and think, did I just say that to myself? Hang on, what have I been saying to myself about my body or about my ability or whatever it may be. And so having it in front of you is a reminder that if you go back into that cycle again, hang on, I've been here. I said, I'm done with.
This, absolutely absolutely.
How did it pan out for you afterwards? I mean, how are you going with that list?
You?
Are you done with all those things? Or do you find some of them creeping back? I mean we are human after all.
Yeah, definitely human. It's always a dance, and I think that there's an evolution of things. It's not like, oh, okay, cool, I'm actually fully done and I'm always and I'm deeply sorry, and I've forgiven myself and I love myself, Holly. But what I have noticed, so, for example, if we take this body piece or appearance piece, because as you would have read in my book, I've really struggled with my perception of self from happenings from younger years. So for example,
it's this little tiny shift that I've just noticed. Where so before I come up there, it was this maybe a few months ago, maybe even three four months ago, I turned on zoom to do a coaching client call, and before the screen turned on, there was just this very quiet, gentle voice that said, be kind to the woman who was looking back at you. And I was jumping on before my client got on, and that woman that was going to be looking back at me was me.
And that's the first time I've ever had a voice or that voice I should say, come for before you know, turn on zoom and I'm like, oh god on my head, doesn't.
Look that good Before i'd.
Because that is what I would so previously I would have unconsciously done it. Then when I have done this practice, it's made a lot of these things, like much more aware conscious so I can watch it. And then now this other part, there's this beautiful part, this wise part is speaking before the carnage, and that's what I'm noticing, and it's so subtle, but it's so.
Beautiful, beautiful self compassion. Kat, thank you for joining us on healthy Ish Pleasure. Well, friends, you might need some guidance on that. I'm done with Lisa, make sure you grab Cat's new book. It is called Authentic Coming Home to Your True Self, and it is out now. If you've got something out of this chat, tell us rate and review it, or of course subscribe to this podcast. Actually make sure you do that, very important and then you'll know exactly when we drop a newp anything else.
Buddyansoul dot com dot are you as the place to go. You ub our print edition which is out in your local Sunday paper, and make sure you are following us across our social media's. Thanks again for listening and until next time, Stay Healthy is