Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

Do You Feel Lost Without A Relationship? Here's Why and What To Do About It

Do You Feel Lost Without A Relationship? Here's Why and What To Do About It Codependency has us orienting ourselves around other people, places, and things as a means to creating safety, connection, and a sense of worth. It does this as it is a reaction to chronic unsafe relationships. If this starts in childhood, we never really learn how to orient to ourselves and become self-directed. Instead, we become lost in the worlds of others. We center our lives around them, their wants, their needs, t...

Bluntcake: People-pleasing sabotages connection and belonging

Bluntcake: People-pleasing sabotages connection and belonging Note: Bluntcake episodes are more direct and firm information that can be confronting, especially when looking at one's own behaviors. Please check in with your capacity before listening or watching. Doing so helps you make an informed choice about listening to information that may bring some activation to your body. This allows you to take responsible action on your behalf on what you take into your daily experience and how it affect...

Real Safety Depends On Respecting Your Capacity

Capacity is the most often overlooked, underdiscussed element of safety in healing work. It is mentioned, but its role is not emphasized or prioritized. What is capacity? It is the amount of something a person can receive or contribute. Codependency creates a habit of exceeding one's capacity by ignoring it entirely due to how capacity is treated by entitled persons. It is often vilified as a terrible "limit" that is making one "selfish". It is seen as a flaw and a problem that must be fixed. Fu...

Doubt That Your Feelings Matter Or Are Valid? Here's What To Do

Doubt That Your Feelings Matter Or Are Valid? Here's What To Do The Essentials: How To Feel Emotionally Safe Again - The Necessity Of Believing Your Emotions Are Valid And Real Gaslighting and abuse cause us to doubt ourselves in core areas of our reality: our lived experience, our senses, our memory recall, our perception, and the validity of our emotions. When we do not believe that our feelings are legitimate or real, we begin to question our lived experiences and perceptions that cause us to...

Why You Care About What Other People Think And What To Do About It

"I'm not supposed to care what people think" Do you try to get yourself to stop caring about what others think about you? Do you feel like a failure when you inevitably start feeling that anxiety about what they think about you? Does it feel impossible to stop caring about what other people think about you? Congrats! You are normal! Caring what others think about us is a result of being part of an interdependent experience. We survive and thrive in collectives, not in isolation, so we have a nat...

Are You Trying To Get People To Choose You?

Are you hoping someone chooses you? Are you seeking to be chosen? In codependency, these impulses to get someone to choose us is a reflection of how unchosen we were growing up. Sometimes we feel chosen by parent, but not by peers. Sometimes it is both. Sometimes it is peers, but not a parent. When this is prominent, it creates a profound sense of being less-than and that we have to compensate for this perceived lack by trying to get people to see us, value us, and choose us. People-pleasing, pe...

The Essentials: How To Feel Emotionally Safe Again - The 3 Habits That Are Causing you more pain

The Essentials: How To Feel Emotionally Safe Again - The 3 Habits That Are Causing you more pain There are three habits we do with emotions that tend to trap and inhibit their natural flow and movement through our bodies: 1) We analyze them. This happens with both painful and pleasurable emotions. We do this thinking if we can understand their cause, we can stop them from happening, or create them over and over again 2) We resist them. This happens with both painful and pleasurable emotions, and...

The Essentials: How To Feel Emotionally Safe Again - Part One

The Essentials: How To Feel Emotionally Safe Again - Part One Creating and nurturing safety is the first and highest priority in the healing of codependency. We need to have safety in three areas if we're to thrive in our creative and playful ambitions: 1) Physical Safety 2) Emotional Safety 3) Relational Safety Today is all about Emotional Safety. Codependency has us believing that safety depends on external factors, namely the physical environment and the people we interact with. This has us s...

Do You Struggle to "Believe In Yourself"?

Do You Struggle to "Believe In Yourself"? I did. For most of my life. I would try to talk myself up, build my self-esteem, praise my skills and achievements, only to have it collapse in the face of failure, uncertainty, or criticism. This is because believing in one's self isn't the solution. It is the result. Learn the real cause of belief in one's self and what to do to have it for yourself in today's episode! *** Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community ...

Your Reactions Are Pointing You To What You Need

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking deeper self-worth? Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links...

Four Gentle Steps For Hearing Your Voice Again

Sign up for the The 8 Factors That Heal Your Codependency Workshop here: https://workshop.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency and low self-worth? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Do You Crave Or Chase Approval?

Sign up for the The 8 Factors That Heal Your Codependency Workshop here: https://workshop.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency and low self-worth? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Random Bits About Worth, Feeling Stuck, Getting Unstuck

Are Approval and Rejection Defining Your Worth?

The 2-day Indomitable Worth Discovery Workshop happening January 25th - 27, 2023: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency and low self-worth? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Do You Seek Your Worth Through Others?

Your Identity Is Not Who You Are

The 2-day Indomitable Worth Discovery Workshop happening January 25th - 27, 2023: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency and low self-worth? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Are You Trying To Be Emotionally Perfect?

Are You Trying To Be Emotionally Perfect? Emotional perfection is the habit of trying to force ourselves to feel certain ways and NOT feel other certain ways. This habit is created by the belief we have to show up a certain emotional way in order to be valued, loved, cared for, or nurtured. This habit shows up as "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I should feel differently!". Somatically, it feels like pressure and force to feel different than we actually do. The way out of this trap starts with ac...

Niceness Is Costing You Your Peace

The 8 Factors The Heal Codependency Permanently Workshop: https://workshop.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Your Emotional Walls Are Not The Problem

The 8 Factors The Heal Codependency Permanently Workshop: https://workshop.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

What If Your Worth Was Freely Available To You?

The 2-day Indomitable Worth Discovery Workshop happening January 25th - 27, 2023: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking help in healing codependency and low self-worth? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Are you trying to fix yourself to be worthy?

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking deeper self-worth? Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links...

Your Sense Of Worth Is Creating Your Misery

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking deeper self-worth? Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links...

Does Your Pain Create Your Sense Of Worth?

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Seeking deeper self-worth? Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com Seeking help in healing codependency? Join The Heal Your Codependency Community: https://community.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links...

The Quick-Fix Trap And What To Do About It

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Are You Suffering From Transactional Worth?

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

I.W. Are you in the self-esteem trap?

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Join the I.W. Community: https://community.indomitableworth.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com...

Indomitable Worth Is Coming. Sneak Peak Into 2022-2023!

Indomitable Worth Workshop: https://iww.freetheself.com *** Discover how much codependency is influencing your daily life with my Codependency Assessment: https://ayc.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com *** Community link: https://community.freetheself.com Community ru...

Feeling Like You're Back At Square One? Here's Why

*** Discover how much codependency is influencing your daily life with my Codependency Assessment: https://ayc.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com *** Community link: https://community.freetheself.com Community rules: https://rules.freetheself.com...

Others Do Not Exist For Your Needs

*** Discover how much codependency is influencing your daily life with my Codependency Assessment: https://ayc.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com *** Community link: https://community.freetheself.com Community rules: https://rules.freetheself.com...

Bluntcake #25: Are You Devaluing The Love Others Give You?

*** Discover how much codependency is influencing your daily life with my Codependency Assessment: https://ayc.freetheself.com *** Connect with me on social media and via email, and learn more about how you can have happier relationships, prosperity, and peace without the pain of people-pleasing, perfection, being "nice", or trying to earn love: https://links.freetheself.com *** Community link: https://community.freetheself.com Community rules: https://rules.freetheself.com...