When faced with an uncomfortable situation, our natural tendency is to get out as quickly as possible. Sometimes we physically or emotionally check out in an attempt to avoid pain. In today’s episode, you’ll learn why your greatest growth comes from increasing your tolerance to discomfort - not avoiding it altogether. By paying attention to what we want most in life, our willingness to allow discomfort will grow. When there is an understanding that the discomfort is in service of your ultimate g...
Feb 05, 2021•24 min•Ep. 27
When faced with decisions, our brains automatically point out all the things we don’t know, all the reasons it won’t work, and why we should be afraid. In this podcast, you’ll learn why starting with what you do know will help you solve what you don’t. For as long as humans have existed, our primal response to any kind of threat or danger is to get defensive, confused, and go looking for safety outside ourselves. Although this has kept us alive, it is outdated and does not ultimately help us cre...
Jan 29, 2021•24 min•Ep. 26
When it comes to healing from infidelity, acceptance is key to moving forward. This does not mean agreeing with it, liking it or not being sad about it. Acceptance means acknowledging that it happened instead of arguing with it. When I first start working with new clients, they generally switch back and forth between making themselves wrong for the infidelity, or making their spouse wrong. Both stories have the potential to bring up strong emotions, and they often use those emotions against them...
Jan 22, 2021•26 min•Ep. 25
If you’ve been listening to the podcast for awhile, you know how much I talk about the growth that can happen following a life-changing (and un-asked for) event. In this episode, I talk with my first podcast guest, Master Coach Krista St-Germain, all about post traumatic growth. Krista is very familiar with grief, loss and having plans change. In this episode, she’ll share her own story of loss and how it propelled her into challenging her beliefs, leaning into future possibility, and ultimately...
Jan 15, 2021•44 min•Ep. 24
For most of us, being wrong feels like a threat. If we are wrong, what does it mean about us, our judgement, and our ability to make wise choices in the future? In this episode, you’ll learn why it’s actually good news that you could be wrong. When we give ourselves permission to be wrong about our assumptions of ourselves and others, it makes space for other thoughts and emotions. We can get curious about new possibilities. We can challenge thoughts we’ve had about ourselves that feel factual b...
Jan 08, 2021•31 min•Ep. 23
It’s the beginning of a New Year, and for many of us it means setting goals for 2021. Statistically, even the most well-intentioned goals often fizzle out and we end up feeling like we failed. Today, you’ll learn how to make goals that actually stick. Most of us have been taught to go after goals that scare us, but our brains are naturally inclined to run from things that feel hard. That is why most people quit. In this episode, you’ll learn exactly how to set goals that are both challenging and...
Jan 01, 2021•20 min•Ep. 22
All of us have days when we may feel anxious anticipation, but sometimes those days can become more frequent after infidelity, divorce, or other life-changing events. This episode will dive into how to prepare for hard days. Whether it is a custody situation, an anniversary, or being around people who may ask tough questions, it is possible to not let those events de-rail you. Listen to understand how to best prepare for those days so you can set yourself up for success. You’ll know how to handl...
Dec 18, 2020•25 min•Ep. 21
On last week’s podcast, you learned about the different kinds of trust and how to build trust in yourself. In this episode, you’ll learn some of the pitfalls to building trust and what you can do to create a more trusting environment for yourself and others. You’ll learn how we can mis-read disappointment as a betrayal, and why it is important to learn to differentiate between the two. You’ll also understand the importance of cultivating an environment of trust in your relationships, whether you...
Dec 11, 2020•23 min•Ep. 20
One of the most common questions after experiencing infidelity is, “Can I ever trust again?” In this episode, we’ll explore different kinds of trust and how to build the most important kind of trust, a trust in yourself. When faced with infidelity, the foundation of trust can be broken, and it takes time to repair it. In this episode, you’ll learn how to make “temporary” fixes, and how to make more lasting, solid repairs that will lead to the most fulfilling relationships. Learning to trust is a...
Dec 04, 2020•23 min•Ep. 19
You may have heard that journaling can be a healing process, but there are benefits you may never have thought about. In addition to being a healing tool to our physical bodies, journaling is proven to be an emotional regulator and healer as well. In this episode, I will share how impactful journaling has been for me, how to journal, and why I encourage you to make it a part of your daily practice. More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 Andrea Giles...
Nov 27, 2020•20 min•Ep. 18
Healing from infidelity can seem so overwhelming, undefined and unattainable. In this episode, I’ll share 6 things that help in the process of healing. In a simple online search, you can find many varying opinions about how healing actually happens after infidelity. Can it actually be done? Yes. Listen to understand why some traditional views on healing (such as the saying, “Time heals all wounds”) aren’t necessarily true if we don’t know what to be actively doing with that time. You’ll learn ho...
Nov 20, 2020•26 min•Ep. 17
Do you ever wonder if you can just feel "good"? In this episode, you'll learn why we aren't programmed to feel good all the time, and why it's actually a positive thing. Most of us spend our life feeling just a few main emotions, and wonder why we keep getting the same results. When you learn that life is best when we allow both the positive and the negative, doors open up that were once closed. There is literally nothing you won't do if you know you can handle any emotion. Listen to understand ...
Nov 13, 2020•26 min•Ep. 16
If I were to ask you who you are, you would probably answer with some information from your past. Most of us go through life not really challenging our stories - we believe them as fact. More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
Nov 06, 2020•23 min•Ep. 15
Most of us have long, detailed “scripts” of how others should behave, and when they don’t, we get upset. We expect others to follow the script, even if they don’t know it exists. This is not only frustrating for the people in our lives, but very frustrating for ourselves because of what we make it mean that they didn’t do what we wanted them to do. Listen to this podcast to understand the difference between making requests of others and having your own back whether they agree or not, and turning...
Oct 30, 2020•29 min•Ep. 14
Join me on this podcast to learn what keeps us from telling the hard truth in conversations, and why it is actually not only hurting you, but the relationship itself. How many times have you avoided a conversation because you know it may get tense and uncomfortable? In this podcast I’ll teach you why that tension is actually not a problem, and how allowing yourself to sit in that tension creates the space to problem solve and get what you actually, truly want. More information at https://andreag...
Oct 23, 2020•25 min•Ep. 13
In this episode, I'll help you identify if you're a people pleaser, why you do it, how it is harming you, and what to do about it. Many of us have false beliefs that we have to say yes to everything, make everyone happy, and not let anyone down, ever. This of course creates so much pressure. And in the end, is not only exhausting, but deep down we know we are letting ourselves down. We may believe that is it loving to pretend like we are okay with things when we actually aren't. If you have been...
Oct 16, 2020•22 min•Ep. 12
You've probably heard that what you think about matters, but the questions is- HOW do you actually change your own thoughts? Maybe you have tried positive affirmations, read books about changing your thoughts and wondered why nothing has actually changed. That is because the actual process of how to change the pathways in your brain are not readily explained. Listen to find out the 3 steps to literally changing your mind. Once you understand how to use the power of your mind, there is nothing yo...
Oct 09, 2020•26 min•Ep. 11
Do you know what it's like to feel "triggered?" In this episode I'll talk about why we stay triggered, and how to create safety within ourselves to successfully move forward with our lives. After experiencing a betrayal, our safety can feel compromised, causing us to feel perpetually "stuck" in a pattern of flight, fight or freeze. Although this pretends to keep us safe, it actually is keeping us from being able to move forward. Listen to learn how to use science-backed tools to calm the brain, ...
Oct 02, 2020•21 min•Ep. 10
Many of us carry around painful stories about divorce and what it means about us to make that choice (or for someone else to choose it for us). Whether you are married or single, listen to uncover what stories you carry about divorce and how to let them go. When I first got divorced, I was so embarrassed to say it out loud because I thought it meant "failure." Over time, I have changed my story and see it as success rather than failure. In this episode you'll learn how I went from blaming him fo...
Sep 25, 2020•25 min•Ep. 9
When faced with tough decisions, it can be so hard to make a powerful choice because we so want to know how it will turn out. In this episode, I'll share my own experience with letting go of the outcome and how it changed the course of my life. I'll share 3 examples of how doing what I felt was the best (albeit hard) decision opened the door for even better things in my life. Listen if you are grappling with two decisions -- one that may feel a little easier because it gives a sense of security,...
Sep 18, 2020•20 min•Ep. 8
Have you ever stayed in a situation you don't love because you're so afraid of what the alternative might be? In this podcast, I'll teach you why planning out Plan B actually sets you free. If we don't really lean into the fear, pain, and discomfort of a new plan, we aren't fully choosing the one we are in. Listen to learn how stretching your brain and making alternative plans is what brings peace and security to either choice you make. More information at https://andreagiles.com/ © 2020 Andrea ...
Sep 11, 2020•16 min•Ep. 7
A crucial part to healing and moving forward is learning to acknowledge and process your own feelings. In this episode, you'll learn what to avoid, and how to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Many of us have never learned how to allow our feelings, and have stuffed them down, hidden from them, and punished ourselves for having the feelings we have. What if feelings are not a problem at all and actually allow you to experience life more fully? Tune in to learn how to allow feelings, and how ...
Sep 04, 2020•23 min•Ep. 6
Most of us have learned to talk ourselves out of what we want, or have grown so accustomed to paying attention to what everyone wants that we have no idea what we want. In this episode, you'll learn why what you want really, really matters. Listen to find out why the things you want serve as guideposts along your journey of who you are becoming. You'll learn how your desires were put there on purpose to help guide you to who you are capable of being by leaning into them. You'll hear examples of ...
Aug 28, 2020•22 min•Ep. 5
You've heard that your thoughts matter, but maybe you don't quite know how your thoughts are affecting you, or how to change them. In this episode, you'll learn the science behind thoughts and how they are directly creating results in your life. Even when life hands us circumstances that we struggle with, we still have so much more power than we know. Tune in to learn how it's not the circumstance that is causing all the heartache, it's the way you are thinking about it. This is very good news b...
Aug 21, 2020•27 min•Ep. 4
One of the most common things I hear from my clients is that they don’t know what to do. This applies to not only the big questions, but the little ones as well. In this episode, I’ll teach a 3-step plan to making decisions. Once you understand how, you can apply this process to any decision you need to make in your life (and we make a lot of them as humans!). You’ll learn how indecision pretends to keep you safe, but is in reality holding you back from the life you want. Once you understand how...
Aug 12, 2020•24 min•Ep. 3
Do you ever wonder what is wrong with you? You’ve had your trust broken, yet you are left feeling terrible like it was somehow your fault. You know something has got to give, you build up your courage, but end up turning back into familiar patterns. I have great news for you… you are normal. You are not broken. Your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do, and in this episode I’ll explain why. Once you understand why you behave the way you do, I’ll teach you how to take steps forward, aw...
Aug 12, 2020•22 min•Ep. 2
Welcome to the show! In this first episode, I’ll be sharing who I am, why I am here, and how this podcast can help you. I, too, know first-hand the pain of having trust broken, my own little world turned upside-down, and the confusion of not knowing how to make it better. I have been where you are, and know how to help you heal from it. This episode covers some of the things you can look forward to in this podcast - the exact tools and skills I learned that not only have changed my life, but hav...
Aug 12, 2020•18 min•Ep. 1
