54. Start with Hello

lot , and I want to share with you . My grandma , claudia passed away on June 27th . It's been hard . It's hard just because losing someone that you care about is really difficult , and it's been extra hard because Paul's grandma died just the week before , on June 18th , and I was working out of state when both of them passed and I just wanted to be home .

And anyway , it's been challenging . We just had my grandma's service a few days ago and all of the kids and grandkids had the option to have a role at the service , to sing or read a poem or read scripture or something , and I chose to write a short tribute and I'd like to read it for you now .

I'm going to self-bleep out people's names because I didn't ask them if I could use their name or talk about them on this podcast today . Here we go .

Claudie's obituary says Through the years , she adopted many people , young and old , always welcoming them into her life , home and heart . That was me and my parents . We were adopted by Claudie bleep and the whole bleep family when we joined Knox Church in Minneapolis .

When I was just a baby , neither my mom nor my dad had family nearby , and when Claudie found out we didn't have Thanksgiving plans , we were invited over for Thanksgiving dinner and then we were invited for Christmas and then Easter , over and over and over again for 37 years until I married my husband , paul , and we started our own traditions .

Being a young mom , my mother , sue , often turned to Claudia for advice and friendship . She thought of Claudia as her second mom , which would make Claudia my non-biological but extra special grandma . For my entire life , claudia and Bleep have been grandma and grandpa , tata and Pop-Pop .

I've always introduced them as my grandparents it's never occurred to me to say otherwise because they are very much my family , even if we aren't blood related , because they are very much my family even if we aren't blood related .

And with a wink , grandma Claudia always , always called me her first grandchild , even though we know that that honor really belongs to my cousin Bleep . I had the honor of saying goodbye to Grandma Claudia the night before she passed . Uncle Bleep's house was filled with family because of course it was Even in her final hours .

She made sure that the room was full . That night we all sat around and talked about the many people who had been adopted into the family over the years . It was typical to visit the Bleep house on Bleep Avenue and meet some random person who was staying there for a few weeks or someone who didn't have a place to be for the holiday .

We reminisced about those guests those who came and went , those who were invited in without hesitation , those who needed comfort or something to eat or a place to sleep for a few nights . That's just who Grandma Claudia was .

She made space for everyone . There are so many things that I will remember about Grandma how she lit up when someone she loved walked through the door like she'd been waiting all day just for you to arrive . How she proudly displayed the Ukrainian eggs I brought her every single Easter .

How she proudly displayed the Ukrainian eggs I brought her every single Easter . How she purchased Michael Jackson's Thriller video on VHS and I sat crisscross applesauce on her living room floor with a Pepsi in my hand to watch it . And how fiercely she loved and continues to love us .

I also remember a lot of yelling from the kitchen , but that's for a different day . What I'll remember most and try to carry forward is her unconditional generosity . Grandma Claudia lived her life with her arms and her heart wide open . She gave without hesitation , without expectation and without judgment . Well , maybe there was a little bit of judgment .

One of my favorite quotes is when you have more than you need , build a longer table , not a higher fence . Grandma didn't just believe that , she lived it , and because of that , so many of us found a seat at her table seat at her table .

So today , as we say goodbye , I just want to say thank you , grandma Claudia , for setting a place at the table for me and my parents , for showing us how to love without limits and for making a family that stretches far beyond blood . I ask that you and Uncle Bleep and my mom Sue continue to shine down on us and guide our way .

Your kindness lives on in all of us . It lives on in me and my husband , paul . And then I list a whole bunch more family members and I close with saying and we will always carry your love with us . And I close by saying and we will carry your love with us always . So , yeah , I felt very honored to get a chance to speak at her service .

There were several people who approached me during the reception after the service . They shared that they felt the exact same way that I did . They felt like they were a part of the family and I sometimes have issues with the term family . In fact , I did a whole episode on it in season one . It's episode 21, .

If you care to listen on it in season one , it's episode 21 , if you care to listen . But in this case it was wonderful to hear stories from other people who felt just as at home with this family as I did , or as I do . I guess the takeaway here for me is that it's easy to be welcoming .

It's so easy , and I take a page out of grandma's book and I start by introducing myself to others and by introducing my friends to one another , and by starting out the first day of class by finding common ground with my students . You don't have to let other people live with you .

You don't even have to invite them over for the holidays , but what we can do is look people in the eye and say hello , and that's what grandma did so well . She just started with hello and we could do that

too . Start with hello . That's what I've got for you this week , my friends . Just start with hello and , as always , thank you for healing and going with me .