So, um... imagine right here is one of those mobile ads where there’s some really awful looking Brick Break knockoff or some choose your own adventure game with really bizarre dialogue. Maybe one of those weird battle games with a scantily clad woman as the advertisement. Anyway, once you figure out how to close the ad you can hear us talk about our favorite pokemon, haircuts, and the early days of apps. Lily’s Garden ads suck shit. Article: Man playing Pokémon Go on eight phones in his car gets...
Feb 18, 2020•47 min
Did you ever wonder if Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” could have been better? Has it kept you up at night like it’s kept us up? Well look no further. This isn’t your father’s “The Birds”. This is something new and hip for the 21st century. It's got everything you need: the most battle-ready bird, movies like Eagle Eye, and poop claps. Article: Staring at seagulls can stop them stealing food, research shows Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicema...
Feb 11, 2020•42 min
This week, Carl's got the keys to Daddy's hotrod, and he's driving this podcast back to the last time we had him on as a guest! Please re-enjoy the Zodiac Griller! I hope you’re hungry, because this episode is all-you-can-hear! With Drew lost in time and space, we had a hot, fresh guest delivered right to our door. Join us as we dig into some egg rolls and discuss movie scene pitches, uncover the Zodiac Killer identity, and reveal what food we could eat a ton of. Article: All-you-can-eat restaur...
Feb 04, 2020•39 min
Thar she blows...up another important land mass as the whales make their next push against the land walkers and terrorize a crowded pier. Take cover, and hold your loved ones close. To keep them calm tell them about whale erectile issues, Doctor Strangelove starring Benedict Cumberbatch, and the continuing magic of Christmas. Article: Whale found with harness on 'may belong to Russian navy' Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766...
Jan 28, 2020•40 min
Aw dang, I tried to get a Twix from this vending machine and it got stuck! Let me just reach my hand up in there and just try to snatch it. Ding Dang, now I’M stuck. Well while I wait for my inevitable death, I might as well think about the Kevin Hart-iverse, recording movies on VHS, and mysterious gifts from Santa. Article: Florida police found an unusual 'burglary' suspect at a local high school: A raccoon inside a vending machine Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineh...
Jan 21, 2020•40 min
Alright everyone, keep it moving. Make sure you put all your personal belongings in the bins and take off your shoes. Also be prepared to be thoroughly roasted by the TSA. If you have the following items please be sure to step aside and a TSA employee will be right with you: National Treasure 3, face melting, and Tanner’s shameful secret. Article: Airport security worker fired after giving traveler 'You Ugly' note Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com...
Jan 14, 2020•46 min
New year, new pod. That’s right, the boys are back and more 2020 than ever. This week we decided to have a little change of pace and make a creation from a headline. The game done changed folks. Tune in if you think you can handle a brand new way of discussing cereal ice, new puppies, and writing the date in a new year. Article: T-Rex 'Dinosaurs' Race Down on a Horse Track As Fast as Their Inflatable Costume Legs Can Carry Them Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroes...
Jan 07, 2020•45 min
Happy New Year! Finally we can make that "hindsight is 2020" joke, and that right there is reason enough to celebrate. We are coming at you with another special edition. That's right! It's another 'best of' episode! Listen back to some of the best moments from episodes 7-12, back when our podcast was still learning to spread it's wings and fly. We still don't know how to fly of course. This nest is just so comfy. Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com ...
Dec 31, 2019•31 min
Well, it’s that time of year again, where there are plenty of gifts to wrap! Do you need any help? If so, we have the perfect villain for you. So sit down, put on a Hallmark movie, and get to wrapping. Additionally, listen in as we talk about our Christmas traditions, Thanos peeing, and of course wrapping lasagna. Article: Ohio city breaks Guinness record for wrapping presents Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more...
Dec 24, 2019•41 min
Hi is this my local pizza place? I’d like to order one podcast for delivery. Could I get that with a smattering of pop culture references but hold the vocal fry? Oh and for some sides could I get Die Hard, the 2003 NBA draft, and a big new announcement from the Headline Heroes team? Article: Papa John's founder John Schnatter ate 40 pizzas in 30 days and says it's gotten worse Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more...
Dec 17, 2019•49 min
Okay I need everyone to just squeeze in so I can get everyone in the picture. Oh shoot that’s right, it’s the 90s and I forgot to put film in my big ol asshole. Everyone just stay still while I put that in. Okay now everyone say Bill Engvall, swallowing cameras, and everyone's favorite new quiz game. Article: CHEETAH SEES PHOTOGRAPHER NAPPING UNDER A TREE AND DECIDES TO JOIN IN Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out mor...
Dec 10, 2019•53 min
Give me your hand. No your other one. Thank you. Would be a shame if someone were to crash through that window and chop it off with a machete. I know this isn’t a threat, but it isn’t. Sorry about that. Let me make it up to you with this talk about Nate’s new super power, Megazording up, and of course famous criminologist Robert Agnew. Article: Hand sculpture atop New Zealand art gallery dubbed 'disturbing' Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicem...
Dec 03, 2019•39 min
My fellow Americans. I stand before you today with a very simple declaration: all transit smells like poop and I’m here to fix it. Please, take one of my pamphlets. Inside you’ll find important information about Nate’s lawn fiasco, Paul Bunyan kaiju, and presidential facial hair. Article: Horse 'waits for train' at Metro station Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Nov 26, 2019•35 min
Hey what name did you want in the bowling computer? FART is already taken. Drew is going to take BUTTLICK. Allright, while you give it some thought we’ll limber up our bowling limbs and discuss our senior photos, what’s in a White Russian, and our Tanner APB. Article: Student’s senior photos in legendary bathrobe go viral Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Nov 19, 2019•35 min
Oh no! This morning I woke up and all my precious jewels had been stolen. Good thing I have my chinchilla to help me feel better! Aw damn he’s gone too! Looks like all I have left in my meager existence is alien blood infusions, Stuart Little, and Magneto prisons. Article: Link text Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Nov 12, 2019•41 min
Hey, are you headed to the Home Depot? While you’re there could you grab me some outlet covers, a pack of staples, and also wooden stake with which to slay the undead? Thanks! If they don’t have that, as a replacement you can grab a polyamorous cult, a DVD copy of The Love Guru, and everyone’s favorite spooky game show. Article: The Sun Looks Ready For Halloween In Eerie ‘Jack-O’-Lantern’ NASA Image Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319...
Nov 05, 2019•47 min
Alright everyone, let’s get this game started. Everyone has their dice? Their player sheets? Handbooks? Alright we are set. You find yourself in a dungeon, there’s a desk, a cot, and an open book on the floor. You pick it up and read it. It talks about Nate’s bindlestick, Jake Sully from anime, and Jeremy, living large up in his big office with his big job and his big suit. God, I hate Jeremy! Article: Truck Carrying Gaming Dice Spills Onto Highway, Rolls A Perfect 756,000 Music by Carl Sorenson...
Oct 29, 2019•47 min
Hey sorry no time to dilly-dally, this episode is meander free and we aim to keep it that way. Honestly I wish you’d stop distracting me so I can get back to focusing on the episode. We’re pretty “heads down” this time around, so I can't imagine that we’ll end up talking about what our pillow situation is like, Tanner’s birthday, or whether the Earth is the world’s first mattress. Article: Strong wind blows dozens of air mattresses through Denver park Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Redd...
Oct 22, 2019•45 min
Goo goo gah gah, this one's a kick in the dolls. So that’s a warning for anyone who finds them creepy. But don’t worry, we put in a smattering of James and the Giant Peach talk, the cast of Con Air, and Founding Father booby traps. Article: Creepy dolls mysteriously appear in Missouri county Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Oct 15, 2019•45 min
This is a protest description. I wanted to do a fun bit about birds and planes, and Drew said, “No one reads those damn things anyway.” so here we are. Is this what you wanted? Well too bad it what you’re getting. We talk about TVs or some garbage; I don’t know. Also, we are live from Tanner’s wedding, Jelly Pools, and whether it’s sad that kids recover from cancer. Article: Someone left old TVs outside 50 homes in Virginia while wearing a TV on his head. No one knows why. Music by Carl Sorenson...
Oct 09, 2019•40 min
This week our schedules were just a bit too busy to be able to record because SOMEONE got married. We have an old favorite to share with you instead! Are you ready to DO THE DO? We sure as hell are. The cabin door is sealed and the flight attendants are ready for takeoff. Strap yourself in and get ready as we soar into Youtuber pranks, soda slogans, and our collective sons. Article: Flight Delayed After Woman Brings Emotional Support Squirrel On Plane Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Redd...
Oct 01, 2019•50 min
What’s that in my blood? Is it a bird? A plane? Nope. Anyway here’s the episode. You wanna know what we talk about in this episode? Then listen, you lazy bones. Okay okay I’m sorry stop crying. I’ll tell you. In this episode we discuss childhood movie trauma, we help Tanner write his vows, and we imagine a lot of snot. Article: Vaccine no match against flu bug that popped up near end Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find o...
Sep 24, 2019•42 min
What’s that in the sky? Is it a bird? A plane? Nope. Anyway here’s the episode. Does anyone read these? Am I shouting into the abyss of the internet? Will someone please save me? They won’t stop talking about advice for living with your girlfriend, Air Bud meets Freaky Friday™, and scary noises that emus make. Article: Arizona trooper tackles escaped emu at the side of the highway Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out ...
Sep 17, 2019•39 min
What’s that in the water? Is it a bird? A plane? Nope. Anyway here’s the episode. This one we talk about how to keep your lawn in shape, Drew’s amazing basketball moment, and dummy thicc sharks. Article: Doctors Remove 526 Teeth from Boy's Cheek. How'd They Get There? Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Sep 10, 2019•46 min
Hey all, recording was tough this week, but we wanted to give you an episode of the Pop Up Film Cast to listen to. This one Drew guested on, and with their hosts Keith and Derek, they created a wonderful pirate adventure, with with swashbuckling fights, cannon fire, and hairballs. If you like what you hear, head on over to the Pop Up Film Cast and give them the ol' subscribe! You can't go wrong! The Pop Up Film cast can be found at Podbean as well as Twitter . Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Face...
Sep 03, 2019•1 hr 26 min
Alright, square your shoulders, head down, bend the knees, and swing away! That was a great drive. Now let’s hope into my mechanized golf cart and go to the next hole. Along the way, let’s chat about sauce n’ slides, floppy hats, and the genius of Dan Brown books. Article: Man takes golf cart on wild ride into Florida Walmart store Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Aug 27, 2019•52 min
Watch out, this episode is hot out of the fryer and ready to crunch. Tanner’s gone, maybe forever, and we take it upon ourselves to explain that very sensitive topic. However, that doesn’t stop us from telling you the 12 herbs and spices including fried chicken skin in Indonesia, anagrams, and a plea for the greatest Christmas album ever made Article: KFC denies it was duped by student into handing out free chicken for a year by his posing as a boss Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit...
Aug 20, 2019•44 min
What’s that ahead? A cop! Better do a sick wheelie, that’ll show ‘em. Ah dunk there’s a fence. I’m going to die, and my life is flashing before my very eyes. I’m seeing images of the definition of racing, the god of boundary markers, and the 100 Deeds for Eddie McDowd. Article: Motorcyclist taunts cop with wheelie; wrecks into fence Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Aug 13, 2019•40 min
All right all you hip adults out there. Lock the doors, put the kids to bed, and pour yourself some wine because it's about to get ADULT in here. This episode is rated XXX for images of lawn mower headlights, fart cinnamon rolls, and the return of an old hero. Article: Man sues parents for destroying his huge pornography collection Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Aug 06, 2019•46 min
Cheez-It! It’s another brie-tiful episode of Chedline Heroes. Why don’t you havarti a seat and grab a gouda drink. You feta believe we talk about the cheez snack debate, Tolkien fat hate, and Drew’s Olive Garden review. Article: DeKalb County man arrested for arson Music by Carl Sorenson Twitter Facebook Reddit Email: headlineheroescast@gmail.com Voicemail: 319-596-6766 Find out more at https://headline-heroes.pinecast.co...
Jul 30, 2019•44 min
