We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which this podcast was produced, the Galligle people of the Urination. We pay our respects to elders past and present.
It's March twenty twenty two and we're on top of a cliff on the south coast of New South Wales. I'm there along with the other members of the DS to announce the fate of the final three says recruits. For the last fourteen days, they've been pushed to their physical, psychological and emotional limits. Number seven, Rhanna Korean, is anxiously waiting shoulder to shoulder with Darius Boyd and Millie Boil. We started with fourteen hopeful recruits and now just three remain.
It's time to break the news. You have all passed selection. With five cracked ribs and a broken finger, Rhianna smiles from ear to ear despite the pain. But this isn't Rihanna's first time smiling through the pain. I'm Att Middleton and this is head Game today. Rhianna Krean on the hardest year of her life. My next guess on the head Game is none other than number seven. No, it's not number seven. The SAS days are coming back and
she's sweating in front of me right now. So we will dive into that, but we have Rihanna Crean super honored to have you here and on my podcast.
Rhanna.
Now we go back quite some especially with me screaming and shouting at you on SAS Australia and you obviously making it to the end and passing the selection process. How are you have you recovered? Oh?
Look, and I'm good to say.
I'm not sure anyone will ever recover from SAS Australia, but there is probably the number one question I get asked when you know, people see me, particularly at work at supercar events, is what was says like?
Was it really real? Is he mean that? They're like the three consistent questions?
So is he really the a hole that he comes to thought?
He's like a gentle giant, absolutely not mean at all.
But look, very fond memories I think aunt from our time there and an experience that I'm incredibly grateful to have had because just yeah, there's no other way that you'd actually get to experience what we experience. And it's hard to actually explain to people what it was like because unless you were there and in amongst it and sharing those same memories.
It's very hard to put into words, but yeah, fond.
Memories in inverted commas, and it's a great honor to be on.
Your pod aunt.
You've had a few difficult years leading up to SAS, which we'd talk about briefly, but talk to me about your childhood and where it sort of all started. Where you were a fun loving sort of speed demon, because yeah, because of the cars at a young age, or we just have a normal childhood.
Oh, look, I would say it was a pretty normal childhood. I grew up in a really loving family. I've got an older sister and a younger brother, and my mum and dad were childhood sweethearts and were together I think when they were like fifteen and sixteen years old. And we grew up, you know, not wealthy, but us kids certainly never went without. My parents worked really really hard to ensure that we were given the best opportunities we could to succeed in life, and just had a really
really loving family and loving childhood. I grew up on a farm, so I was outdoors all the time, dirty all the time, and I loved it. I'm very lucky that that was the childhood that I had. I did dancing as a young kid, and I think that those early days in dancing really in still a lot of the traits that I carry now with discipline and working hard and you know, competition and wanting to be to be the best in everything that I do. And I was dancing from a really young age, like I was.
I think I was like eighteen months two years old and then you know right up through to I was sort of eighteen nineteen years old, and that was a really high level. So I think that that in my childhood really you know, put me in good shape to work hard and to strive for success. And seeing both of my parents just work really really hard in order to give us the best opportunities we could, you know,
it's definitely shaped too. I am seeing my dad, you know, work on a farm, you know, three hundred and sixty five days a year.
There was no days off for him.
Ever.
My mum was a registered nurse and she still is a registered nurse now to this day. So you know, they both would work very very hard and just made sure that us kids had everything we could possibly want.
So you used to jump in the tractor drive.
Yeah, yeah, there was plenty of plenty of that. It was funny though.
The motors spot thing came at a at a when I was older. I didn't have really any interest in motorsport out as a kid up, but I did grow up loving sport. I you know, did athletics, that did swimming, I did all those things that that kids do and I was pretty competitive in it as well. And the motorspot things sort of came into my life as a as an adult.
But yeah, definitely on the farm there was you know, driving the light right on lawn mower.
There was out in the dirt that was chasing sheep, you know, all that sort of stuff and just.
A really very traditional Australian childhood.
Do you know what. I love that because that's what all kids want to do al to me, isn't it as well? I've all around in the mud. They want that jump on the their a's lap and drive the tractor we left, you know, to sort of explore their small world, you know, without without anyone telling them what to do or that freedom. It does open your mind up to exploration. It does open your mind up to adventure, doesn't it.
As a yeah, yeah, absolutely, And I think I just from I was always you know, from a young kid, just wanted to strive for more. Was always just searching to do more, and and you know, wanted to be the best at whatever I did. And I don't know if that was just came from you know, my parents or just from what I did when I was you know, it was dancing. Was that I didn't want to just you know, settle for just mediocre. And I think that that's sort of what's carried me throughout, you know, my years.
Motorsport. How how did you get into motorsport? Because it's I suppose when you look at motorsport, it's such a segue from from you know, the country life and from being a down yeah, from being a dart all of a sudden, I suppose you know, the fast and furious pace of motorsport. How did you get into it?
It was a situation that I kind of fell into.
So at the time, I think I was eighteen or nineteen, I was still living in Perth with my family, and I finished school and I.
Was going to go to UNI.
But I went to UNI for a few months and then decided, no, I'm going to I'm going to take a step back. I'm going to do a few other things before I actually commit to go into university.
And so I was doing just I was.
Doing professional dancing work, I was doing modeling work, I was you know, working here and there, and then this opportunity came up and I used to have a competition called Miss V eight Supercar back in the day.
Don't they don't have it.
Anymore, sadly, the grid girls are starting to fade away, but back in that day, it was what two thousand and five, two thousand and six, and I.
Entered the competition.
Mum actually saw the ad and she's like, I think you should do this, So off I went and turns out I won the competition. So part of that was for the following twelve months, I would travel with the supercars, the Vight Supercars, go to all the events, work as an ambassador, so to speak. And I, you know, that was really my first ever sort of deep dive into what car racing was and learned very quickly that that
I really loved it. And towards the end of the year, when you know that year was coming to an end, I sort of said to the people within the industry that I was interested in working in television.
I'd done a lot of drama and.
Musical theater when I was at school, and that was kind of a pathway that I wanted to head down.
And I said, look, i'd like to work in TV.
Do you think there's an opportunity for me to do some work experience somewhere? And they essentially said yes, and they said, if you can get yourself to the events, and you know, you've got to sort of find your way, and then we'll give you an opportunity. And the next year that's what I did. I you know, flew myself to the events. I'm not sure that it would be okay to do that now, like in terms of you're doing work experience, but you're covering all your expenses. But
I got myself there. I created an opportunity for myself. I started, you know, working within the team, and then it's kind of just you know, snowballed after that, and I worked hard.
I sort of decided that this is what I wanted to do and I.
Created a job for myself essentially, But how was it going into an industry?
You know, your blonde hair, blue eyes, and this is sort of a male dominant industry. How hard was it to break through into that industry.
Yeah, it was really hard, particularly you know, back then, which is you know, sort of mid two thousands. I suppose there wasn't necessarily as many women that you would see nowadays on TV, particularly working you know, in a sporting industry, particularly working in motorsport, which was predominantly male orientated, you know, industry, and very strong men who you know, like their cars, like their beer, that sort of thing. So for a you know, what was I at the time,
I think I was nineteen years old. I'd come from this pageant background, you know, dancing, modeling, musical theater, long blonde hair.
And just them to the slaughter.
Yeah, and basically it was a lamb to the slaughter. So it was tough. Those first years were brutal. People are very unkind, very very unkind. And look, I certainly I was very green in my career as well, Like I wasn't I wasn't good. I was okay, I hadn't had a lot of experience. I hadn't gone to journalism at university and studied, and so you know, I was very very green in that industry, and I you know,
I did I get got eaten alive? And there were times in those early days and they thought, is this all worth it? You know, other comments on Facebook worth it? Other comments that you hear behind your back worth it? And I suppose, luckily, I'm pretty thick skinned. I mean, there were certainly times where I, you know, would be crying in the bathroom, going why am I doing this to myself? But again it was like, this is what
I want to do. I'm going to make sure that, you know, I do what I need to do to be successful. And it meant that I worked harder than other people. It meant that I knew that I had no leeway. I couldn't make a mistake because if I made a mistake that was.
Yet I'd be gone.
You know.
I wasn't given the same sort of leeway as some of the other people I was working.
And that was fine. I understood that that was the case.
But it just meant that I had to work harder and I had to make sure that I was, you know, on my A game all the time, and any anytime I did make a mistake, it was it was coming for me, that's for sure.
Perseverance what made you continue to persevere and what was the turning point where you were I don't want to say finally accepted, but where you felt like actually, you know, you felt part of the crew, you felt part of the team, and through your perseverance, when was that to an end point?
Yeah, for sure.
I mean I think it would have been easier for me to quit, particularly in those early days, Like I had certainly bosses that were working the back in the day that said to me, you know, look, I think you've done a really you've done a solid job, but this is probably the end of the road for you.
Like, I just can't see you go any any further.
I can't see a woman ever being in pit lane for us, I can't see a female ever like fronting our coverage. And so in the easier thing would be to just shake his hand and say thanks very much for the opportunity and go and do something else, but I didn't. I sort of turned that into I'll shure you mate.
You know I've seen that side kind of use a.
Few different words, but we'll keep it up. And it was like, you know, o case, I'm going to prove what.
You guys are trying to doubt me for and and keep fighting and keep you know, working my way throughout the broadcast, and eventually was given an opportunity by you know, another boss, to step up into the main broadcast, so to speak. And and that was very scary. It was I was very nervous. I still wasn't you know, I still wasn't great at what I was doing, but that he gave me, he gave me a shot, and I really needed to make sure that I made the most
of that opportunity. And that was probably the point where I thought, I didn't think I'd made it, but I was like, I think, like, I'm on the right path this, I'm doing what I should be doing.
Throughout your career, you've dealt with a lot. You've certainly come through everything that's been put in front of you, your one hundred percent survivor. You had the toughest year of your life, didn't you in twenty twenty before you came on SAS. And you know, I could see it in your eyes that you know, there was some pain, there was some suffering that you really wanted to sort of purge or deal with. Take me back to twenty twenty and that year of hell for you.
Yeah, I mean I think so many people can probably relate. You know, twenty twenty was such a horrible year for so many reasons. Obviously COVID was one of.
The biggest reasons.
And you know, the start of the year at my industry in terms of in terms of motorsport all started to shut down and things were starting to look pretty grim in terms of you know, how are we going to continue racing, how are going to continue working My husband Will, who races in v Itsu, because his team actually shut down at the start of the year, so he was essentially left unemployed totally out of his control at the start of the year, which was a huge
blow for us as a family. And then I actually got parked as well from my work because there just wasn't the ability to take everyone traveling throughout the country given you know, all of the lockdowns that Australia was going through at the time, so it was like a double blow in terms of both of us for employment.
And then I got a horrible phone call, a.
Phone call I'll never ever forget, from my sister to say that my dad had had an event and wasn't likely to survive. So we had to get to Perth. We live in We live in Queensland, so that was you know, up there was one of the worst days of my life. And then we had to deal with the challenge of the lockdowns in Australia at the time, and you know, trying to get into Perth was a
challenge in itself. There was so few flights at the time, and you know, we had to really basically, you know, plead with the West Australian government to allow us to come in so that I could see my dad.
And we were lucky, we were very lucky.
We were somehow got a lady who was just very understanding and very empathetic, and you know, she made it work. So we were able to fly to Perth a couple of days later when there was a flight. But you know, I knew that we were flying there to say goodbye. It was it wasn't it wasn't going to be a flight for anything else. It was just going to be a flight that we would have to say goodbye to my dad. And so that was you know, that was absolutely the hardest, the hardest day of my life.
What was it like during those two days of knowing that that your father was wasn't going to make it. But knowing that, you know, those two days of waiting and anticipation and obviously thoughts going through your head, you know, of maybe not making it. What would those two days.
Like oh hard to put into words, and like obviously just unimaginable grief and sadness, knowing you know what we were going to be facing when we got there, but just you know, so much anger at the world, so much anger at you know, governments in Australia for locking people away and closing borders, and you know, such mixed feelings because obviously, you know, at the time, you know, everybody believed that that was the best thing for the country in order to be known, for people not to
be spreading things around. But you know, when you're on the raw end of that, it was just anger, you know, I just he just hated everyone. You hated, hated what was happening, Hated the world, hated this horrible viruls, hated the fact that you know, people were getting locked away from their family, and so you know, two days of just living in that space was was horrible. It's truly
why it was. It's I don't have any other words to describe, but it was just like watching a clock that was ticking so slowly, waiting, waiting for those minutes to tick by, waiting for those seconds to tick by, knowing that you know, we were hopeful that I would get there so that I could say goodbye, but that also wasn't a guarantee. So you know, we were sitting in this space of you know, am I going to actually be allowed to go there? Am I going to make it in time to actually say goodbye to him?
You know, hurry up and just please let us get there. Yeah, So it was there was so many emotions at the time. And also and I hadn't even at the time, We were just living in that, we were living in those minutes. We weren't even thinking about what this actually means, you know, moving forward, and you know the fact that you know, going to lose dad and our family was broken, you know, forever,
our family would be broken because of this situation. So yeah, it was horrible, but you know, at the same time, I look back and I'm.
Forever grateful that I got to say goodbye.
There were so many people at that time that couldn't travel to see family, when able to have that final goodbye, when't able to go to funerals. So you know, I consider myself incredibly lucky that I had that. I had that opportunity to say goodbye to him. I had the time, you know, I had the opportunity to go to Dad's funeral. We were able to have because we were in Perth. Their restrictions weren't so bad, so we were actually able
to have a funeral for him. So, you know, I, as much as it was the worst time of our life, I do look back now and think, you know, I am lucky I had that, because I don't know how it would have been if I was denied that opportunity. You know, Will and I we flew from Queensland to Perth, which was, you know, probably one of the worst flights I've ever been on. You know, I didn't know that, you know, all of a sudden, You've got no wife, I, you've got no connection and it's a you know, five
and ars six hour flight to Perth. So for that period of time, again, it was just like a horrible waiting game, looking up the seconds of the clock, looking at the minutes of the clock and knowing that, you know what if when we land, I get the phone call to say you know, we haven't made it on time, so so that in and.
Itself was awful.
And then yeah, you know, arriving to the hospital, we were able to see him in the ICU.
He was, you know, he was he was.
Not conscious, he was I like to think he knew that we were there, but you know, obviously we'll never know.
And maybe he did know because he hung.
On you know, we got there and I had a few moments with him before we lost him, so maybe he did know.
That we were coming and we were on that plane.
So but yeah, you know, we had to say goodbye, and then I suppose after that it was dealing with what lost, but also then having to quarantine for two weeks because they're stupid, stupid rules at the time, So you know, I spent two weeks then quarantined after saying goodbye to Dad, which was in itself pretty rubbish situation to be in.
But they know you by yourself.
I was with Will, so you know, we I wasn't totally by myself, but yeah, it was.
It was pretty rough.
You know, sometimes you just want to go for a drive to the beach or like just go for a walk and get out of the fresh air.
And we weren't able to do that, so that made that pretty tricky.
But look, I'm I'm I'm very lucky and I've got the most I hit the jackpot with my family, you know, like my mom, my brother, my sister, you.
Know, my dad.
We were all in We all are incredibly the host. We speak to each other every single day. We are absolutely each other's biggest supporter. And and I know how like I am that I have that, and so you know that time was the worst time for us. But but at the same time, you know, we we have each other and we always have been like that. So you know, you've, as you said, you know, you've got to you've got to be able to pull positives out
of pretty shitty situations because otherwise you will spiral. And I suppose I am I'm grateful that I have that in me. I'm able to to see that, you know, when when the days are dark, that there's always still hope, because if you haven't, if you don't have hope, you know, it's it's pretty grim.
So you know, we've just always looked at what we have, and we have.
Each other, and you know, we had amazing times with Dad. We had an amazing childhood and and you know, I'm lucky.
That I had that.
So you and your husband both lost your jobs, your your father passes away, you're lockdown, and you still manage to come through a positive mindset all the way to twenty twenty one, where you decided to do an Iron Man out of everything that could have possibly have gone wrong. You what, when did that decision, you know, come into fruition? When did you think, right, listen, enough's enough, We've got to get back in the game. Yeah, I'm gonna do it,
and I am. I can understand a half marathon, maybe a maraffon or maybe a little fun run or something, but yeah, an iron that's hardcore. I owe you a hardcore anyway, because I've seen it firsthand. But you know, someone that's looking from the outside in your situation of of of trauma, of dread, of you know, of looking into this dark cloud, and all of a sudden you pop out of it and you go, right, this is what I'm gonna do? What? What? What the hell made you you decide to do that?
Well, to be honest with you, you know, there there was dark days. There was really dark days, and there was weeks where I didn't you know, feel like I had not that I didn't have anything to live, but you know, I didn't have some purpose so to speak.
You know, I'd lost my job.
I had this horrible you know, trauma with my dad, and it was kind of like, well what now, Like I don't even have a job to do, Like what am I going to do? And you know, I'd always like to keep fit, and i'd done if you know, I've done some trifleons and things.
Like that in the past.
And and there was a good couple of weeks where I literally just didn't get out of bed because facing the world was too hard at the time. You know, it just I didn't have the energy to be sad. I didn't have the energy to be happy. I just wanted to just sit in, you know, in that space I needed and I needed to I really did need to do that. But you know, then it came a point where I'm like, I need to I can't do this. You know, my dad wouldn't want any.
Of us to be just sitting here and not living.
You know. He was all about living and doing you know, crazy things, and always you know, was you know, the life of the party and was always the person that was helping other people.
And and I.
Just I just entered a nine man and I'm right, this is this is going to be my purpose for the next you know.
However, many months I was going.
To get into or do you just go, I'm just going to into an eye am out it's high school.
I had a little bit of a and I actually no, I did have an idea, but yeah, once I started the training, like oh wow, this is like this is this is a lot lot of training. But it was my reason. You know, it was my thing that every day I didn't have an excuse. I couldn't lay in bed all day. I needed to get up and do the training. I had to get up and ride my
bike or go for a run. And I mean, you know what it's like, and you know, just the endorphins and feeling physically good makes you feel mentally good and and just spark something within you when you when you get moving and when you start to accomplish things like okay, I've just done a ten k run, or now I've done a fourteen k run, or now I've done this, and you know that all of a sudden, you've got that you know.
That that feel good energy.
Yeah, and that purpose and and that's really what got me through those next few months was the fact that you know, after so much sad and bad news and darkness, that you know, I had some something to work towards. And the Trithon community is such a beautiful community. You know, people from all walks of life are doing trifle, you know, and I've just found it. It's such a beautiful bunch of people that are so supportive. And I really got into the spirit of it. I was, you know, training
every single day. I had a coach who set me out my program and told me what I needed to do, and yeah, just got stuck in.
You know what. I love that And I love what you mentioned there about just getting up and moving. And that's why you hear me shout on essays, because just that action, you know, no matter how down you feel. And I always say this to people who ask for a bit of advice when they say to me, and you know, I can't get off the couch, I can't
get out of bed, and I say, just move. It's so important that when you're feeling like this, when you feel like you know you can't go on, and that life is too much, and so all I say to people is move. And like you said as well, when you move, it stimulates the mind because guess what, when you actually move, you are problem solving, you know, a hundred things at once. You know, just we're subconsciously, where am I going to put my foot? How am I
going to balance myself? How am I going to stand up? You know, you subconsciously your mind kicks in and it triggers stuff. And obviously you moved in quite a drastic and challenging way.
You don't necessarily need do an I am but exactly, but yeah, it is. It's just that it's feeling of accomplishment as well. And you know, even now I've had some we've had a pretty rough start to the year. My mum's been unwell, and and you know, I would run every day even though we you know, we're visiting her in the hospital, and people would say, you know, why are you bother running? And I'm like, because that's what that's what I need. I need to do that,
you know, I need. You know, some people listen to loud music, some people will meditate, something more might do yoga, you know, some people whatever. But like, yeah, for me movement and it doesn't have to be in that I'm smashing myself and doing a marathon. It's just I just need to get out and just be you know, be outside and just moving, and that's what gets me through, you know, the tough times.
So moving on to the Iron Man, how did you do? Look?
I did okay. I had no I had no goal, not even have a goal. I wanted to finish.
That was my goal.
Yeah, I wanted to complete it.
I didn't have any you know, time in my head that I needed to be done by, and to be honest, I just wanted to get to the start line. Because if anyone's ever you know, done an iron Man, they understand that. You know, the training in itself is probably the most difficult part. You know, you're training for a three point eight k swim, one hundred and eighty k bike ride, and then a marathon to finish forty two ks.
So to train for that event, you know, you need to be doing two three four hours a day of training to be able just to get through. So I wanted to get to the start line without being injured and without you know, burning myself out. And I knew that once I got to the star art line that I would get to the finish line. I knew that I would finish it regardless of how long it would take me.
And I did.
I finished it okay. I had a pretty good swim. My ride was okay. It was a pretty windy day, so that was that. There was times during that ride where I wanted to throw my bike off.
The off the bridge and never ever see it again.
And then the run for me, I always that's probably my weakest leg. So I knew that, you know, it was just going to be a bit of a shuffle, like a walk jog type thing. And and once I got onto the run leg, you know you're essentially at the end, even though you've got you know, a marathon to go. But I knew that if I got to that point, I would a one hundred percent get to the end and got to the end and cross the
finish line. And I actually I sculled a VB beer For Australians, I'll understand a VB isn't usually the first choice of beer, but that was my dad's favorite beer.
And on my hand throughout the.
Day, i'd written I'd written a little message in Penn so I knew that there was you know, there was going to be moments during the day that we're going to be tough, and I needed to hang on because Dad hung on for me. So that was kind of what got me through throughout the day and across the finish lane and skull the beer and yeah, that one was for Dad.
What I love about an iron Man is that you know what you're doing. You just said about the swim, the cycle, the run. However, Sas Australia you are chucked into the fold their fear of the unknown, the fear of not being good enough, fear you know, you don't know what's happening, you don't know what's around the corner, you don't know how to prepare, you can't prepare. Did you think that the Iron Man prepared you for Sas.
No, look yes and no.
Like in some ways it kind of like obviously cardio fitness it prepared.
It is fair. I hear that the emotional side, look not not completely.
I think it put me in good shape to be on the show. I think, you know, an iron Man's not easy. It's it's a hard it's a hard thing to do, and and it's you're on your own, you know, particularly when you're on the bike.
You're on the bike.
I was on the bike for six and a half hours. So you're on the bike for six and a half hours, not talking to anyone. You don't have the ability to listen to music or listen to a podcast. It's you, your bike and your thoughts.
The opportunity to listen to head game, you know, what do you think come first?
And but it's you know, that's a long time where you're in the hurt lock are you Your legs are screaming at you. You know, your back's locked up, everything's hurting, and and you've got your thoughts. And so in a way I suppose I had, you know, a taste of of that kind of mentality and the taste of being in that space where it's like you've just got to lock in and you've just got to keep going.
But yeah, nothing nothing in.
The world we can prepare me for Australia, like literally nothing, no podcast.
We'll get you through that show.
I love it. So when did the call come up? Let's get straight into it. When did that caol come up?
So?
Did you feel fit? Did you feel excited? No? I'm an idiot.
My manager called me, and it was at the time where my work was still sort of I was in a bit of a weird spot because of COVID and we still hadn't like gone back to regular you know, regular travel for what I was doing.
And my manager called me is like, look, there's a show Essays Australia. You've seen it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, what shirit? Do you want to do it? Yeah?
Sure?
Why not? I was like, okay, okay.
He's like, I'll call you in ten minutes and he literally called me back and he's like, you're in. So I didn't think about it at all. And then when I told Will my husband, he's like, are you joking?
Why would you say yes?
And so that was it.
I think I think we had six weeks maybe before the show started. I think there was a like, I think that was the lead up time, six weeks, eight weeks maybe at most. So I knew that I was going to be okay in terms of cardio fitness, Like I knew that I could swim, I could run all that.
Sort of stuff.
As you can see, these these guns aren't really really built for lifting. So I got myself into the gym and just picked up heavy shit basically by exactly and knew that that was going to be my weakness, so just lifted sandbags and weights as much as my body would allow me to without getting injured.
And then that was it. That was that was the show.
And take me back to day one. How did that feel?
It was terrifying, and you know, you didn't know how the show was going to work, so to speak. I mean, I'd come from a television background, so I had an idea of how they make TV.
You mean, the course. You didn't know how that.
We didn't know how the course was going to play out.
And and you know, as you hear about how shows are filmed, you know other reality TV shows are filmed and it's like okay, you know that they'll do a scene and then it's like the producible interrupt and then you know a director will say on and we've got to do that again. Or but yeah, obviously that wasn't That wasn't how sas Australia worked. It was once once you told us to get off that boat, you know, we were in your world and.
And it was terrifying. It was truly terrifying.
It was very intimidating, obviously, not just from yourself and from the other directing staff, but from the people that I was on the course with. You know, I was you know, I'm not a known person in the media.
I'm not an athlete. I'm not an Olympian.
And you know, you're standing there and you're looking around and you've got Jeff Hugel there. You know, You've got
Melissa Wu there, We've got Wayne Kerr. We had Barry Hall, you know, we had Marcu Zarafa, like, we had so many people that were these incredible athletes who had had enormous success in their life, and I'm sort of standing there looking at them, like, how on earth am I supposed to even remotely be, you know, considered on the same playing field as these people around me and big personalities who you know, we're quite overwhelming when you first
get in because everyone you know is wanting to, you know, have their voice heard.
And I'm I'm quite a quite shy person in real life, even though I work in TV.
In my you know, in my personal life, I'm not the loudest person in the room, and if anything, I like to be the quietest person in the room, particularly when I don't know.
People, so I think I that's what I did.
I was pretty quiet, didn't you know, didn't want to make too much noise and just sort of go under the radar and try not to get your attention, because if you've got your attention, usually it's because you've done something wrong.
Correct very wise, I would say, what's it like amongst the you know, from the very first day, what's it like amongst the recruits.
I mean, it was pretty obvious from the art set, you know who was going to be the not ourphas, but like the louder people, the people that sort of speak the most and put themselves forward the most. It was quite obvious you know who those people were going to be. But to be peavitly honest, I felt like our group was a really supportive group for the most part.
Everyone was a big supporter of each other.
There wasn't necessarily anyone who was trying to be the best or always you know, wanting to you know, out race or outdo anyone else, like I felt like, particularly particularly the guys like Barry Hall and Darius Boyd and Wayne Carey, Jeff Yugel, like, they were all very good supporters, particularly of us girls, even though they might be stronger than us and be able to carry heavier things than us, like they were always our biggest champions, you know, throughout
the tasks and always wanting to make sure that we didn't ever feel that we were lesser than those guys.
And I think it showed at the end of the show when there was.
More women than men towards the end, I think it really did show that we were we were successful because we had people, you know, supporting us so much, you know, right from the outset.
That's why everything is put on a base level. That's why there's no heavier weight in the women's burg or heavier weight in the men's burg, and in the women's burg,
because we're testing you physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Yes, the men might be physically stronger and maybe I wouldn't say fitter, but physically stronger, but when it comes to the psychological side and the emotional side, it would be unfair to make it easier for women on the physical side because actually psychologically and emotionally one, you don't know what's going on up there or what people are been through, so you know, that's that's a level playing field, and that
the emotional side, from what I've seen is that women actually deal with their emotions a little bit better than mey. So you know, it's important that people realize that. That's why we keep the course the way it is and there's everyone's on the same playing field, because when we test you physically, psychologically and emotionally, if you've if there's a disconnect between the trilogy and you, you can't hack
it psychologically, then you're gone. Emotionally, if you can't do some of the fear defying tests and heights, water phobias, you're gone. Physically, if you're not up to scratch, you're gone. So did you when did you start to sort of because you sort of came into your flow after the
first four or five days. You see people you know who are who you thought, wow, are going to be here at the end start leaving, yeah, and you start to get into your flow, don't you start to realize, do you know what, I've just got to let go. I've just got to embrace the embrace the course and let myself let myself go.
And I think that's the key, to be honest, is that just knowing that you've got to you know, just let let the show take care of itself, like you've lost all control, Like you can't you don't choose when you eat, you don't get to choose when you're sleep, you don't get to choose what you're doing. You don't know what's happening, you don't have any sort of idea
of how the day is going to roll out. And the minute that I was able to in my head go relinquish control and just deal with the situations as they come, I think that's when you really start to be able to just process things, you know, in time. So it's like, Okay, this is the task we're doing now, Yeah, be present and this is the task we're doing. Now.
Deal with this task and everything else that comes after it will deal with that after, Like this is we're eating now, Like eat your food now, and then think about what's happening after that. And and I think that you know, that definitely took a couple of days just to get used to that and get used to the fact that you have no idea and you have no control over anything whatsoever.
And you know, once you you do see some of the people like.
Start to not struggle, but you know, there's areas in their life that you know they're you know, they might be really yeah, they might be really physically strong, but then they were able to do this particular tasking like Okay, well I'm I'm not the strongest, but I was able to do this, or you know, I'm able to you know, problem solve this, or I've been able to do yeah, yeah, exactly. And that's when you know, after the first few days, I was like, Okay, I think I think I can
get through this. And I knew in my head that I wasn't going to quit, Like there was no part of me that was going to give you my number.
You would have had to take my number.
And I didn't think that I would get to the end, but I didn't think that I would give up.
I knew that you would have to get rid of me.
Was there any stage that you thought that your number was close to coming off?
I think at the end, I think it was the second last day or third last day, and we were down to four. We were down to four, and we were we were all tethered on the rope, and we went You took us to some like mud manslows, mangras, and it had been raining and it was freezing cold, and we were all tethered and we basically had to you know, run from one end to the other to retrieve the package or whatever it was.
And if you submission times it was time sensitive.
Yeah, and you know, if you the whole idea of this was to I have a sacrifice yourself if yeah, you're holding the team back or the team had had to yeah.
Say sort of times done.
And we were carrying we also were carrying I think twenty kilos or something, and so you know, I felt like I was I could have done the task, but carrying the package as well as running through the swamp, I was starting to struggle physically, and we were with locky locks. So we had Lockey Gilbert, Darius Boy and Millie Boy or myself and Melissa were and Melissa was also starting to struggle and I think she got d
like she got dropped. So then we were down to just the four of us, and it was it meant that Locke and Darius had to do a lot of the heavy lifting because I just wasn't able to physically hold the package as long as what they were able to. And you know, this is what like day twelve or something like.
It was pretty quiet.
It was quite Yeah, So there was a point there where I thought, is it better for me to not give up?
But is it better?
Is it better for the team that I that I, um, you know, unhook myself because I think I'm now starting to bring them down. And then I just this recurring thought in my head always throughout the whole entire time, was like this, this will end, Like this task is really hard now, but it will end and then you'll be done with it and you'll never have to do it again until the next time we do a task.
But everything ends, you know, every beasting ended, and every task would end, and every you know, whatever it was. And in my head I'm like, no, don't quit now, Like what we might have another ten minutes, you might have another hour, but it's not forever, Like you can hang on.
I figure, I smashed you for the good five k through their angos and then.
You made us run back to the vehicles as well afterwards. But that was probably the only time throughout it, all of it where I was very close to going. I think that I need to sacrifice myself because the team is now starting to you know, it becomes slower because of me.
Yeah, it was it like standing there at the end, so they you stood there, did you care if your past or failed at this stage?
I did, Yeah, I think because you got so far and I would have hated to get that far. And then you you know, you just say, oh, you haven't passed. So it was a surreal moment. It was hard to actually comprehend that, you know, you'd said we'd all passed, and to be alongside Million and Darius was just amazing a moment. And I think because it was a TV show like it's but it was more than that.
It was more than a TV show.
It was an experience of my life that showed how strong I was, and it was a bit of a I don't know, it was like a relief after all the horrible things that had happened in the year prior, and the horrible times that my family had had and the hard days, and it was like I did it, like I Actually it was kind of like the It was like the moment I felt like I got through.
I got through more than what the TV show was.
I got through twelve months of hell and I did it, and you know, I survived and yeah, it was. It was more than what just passing a TV show? What's it been meant? More?
You feel like you can tackle anything after, don't you? You know, your self belief, your self confidence? How well has that served you? Because when I look at most of my recruits that succeed and I look at their careers, I do follow you very closely, whether you like it or not, I've always got an eye you seem to just put you know, just go. And I'm not saying that you'll succeed at everything that you do, but you don't seem unphased with life. You feel like yet you
can tackle anything. How important was that course for your self confidence and self belief?
It was huge?
You know.
I think you know when I walked into that room the fourteen days beforehand and you know, being really intimidated and quite you know, that real imposter syndrome, like I absolutely you know, I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve to be here. I'm not a famous person, I'm not an athlete all that sort of stuff. I'm not the
strongest person here. And then to be there standing at the end, and it does huge things for you know, self confidence and just not having belief in yourself and having the confidence to go, you know, even though this is this is scary or this is a huge fear for me, it's like you've just got a charge forward and you work out, you work out the rest, you know, and it's it was massive and I think for me because I've had because of what had happened in the year before, it was it was a real like this
is the start of the next chapter for me, Like it'd been a really hot, hard year, I'd lost my job, there was lots of uncertainty with what was happening with myself, and it was almost like, yeah, this is the turning point for me for my career, for what I do with my life, for how I see things, you know, making sure that I make the most of every opportunity that comes before me, whether that be just in my personal life, saying yes, doing things that I want to
do for myself. And it was a huge shift in my mindset into like, right, you know, we only have this one very short life that is so precious, and I've been given this opportunit unity to listen to yourself,
to listen to all of the other directing staff. For the last couple of weeks, and you guys were so gracious in sharing some of the stories that you guys have had in the things that you've done in your lives and what you've experienced, and how lucky I was to be part of that and have that very unique experience that not many people in this world will get. And I need to now use this and do the things I want to do in my life.
Arianna, if you're the it pits me off Seese every opportunity, then you know you've certainly shared that message. There final question for you since then, you know, since your fractured ribs and your broken finger, and now that you've fully recovered, you've since had a beautiful baby boy. Now easier future sas recruit.
Oh look, he has unbelievable upper body strength.
He can hang off a bar better than I can. So you just never never know. But maybe they can do.
There's been a few babies since our seasons, so maybe they can be an sas kids and all the babies and all the kids can come together. But yeah, life has changed a lot. I've had a baby. He's nineteen months old. Now, he's just the best thing ever. You know, He's changed my life for so many different reasons, and he's just brought so much love and joy to me and my family and my mum in particular. So he has been the absolute you know, just shining light for
our family. And yeah, lots lots of different things have happened, but I feel like now, yeah, we're just in a good spot. You know, life is challenging. Life is never never easy. It's never still even this year, I've learned that, you know, things.
Can very easily turn around.
But it's just a case of you know, making the most, as you said, of those opportunities and living, you know, living living life, like not just not just cruising and coasting through, like actually get out there and live and love hard. And you know, because as I've experienced, you just absolutely never know what's going to happen.
I love that if you're being challenged, then guess what you're living because thinking you're growing and you're becoming a better version of who you are. Rihanna, I've loved having you on, I love seeing you, and I'm gonna nab that little one up of yours and he's gonna be a future sas Australia recruits. But I wish you all the best for the future. I'll been seeing you real soon. Thank you ever so much for coming on Headgame. Thank you to find out more about Rihanna head to ranacorean
dot com. Thanks for joining me on this episode of Headgame. If you love listening to this podcast, please share it with a friend or you can leave me a review on your favorite listening platform. I'm Att Middleton. See you in the next episode.