This is he said a Yadiho with Eric Winter and Rosalind Fantaz.
Afternoon High. What's happening?
Well, clearly became in frantic, but we're putting it together. We sound all composed him to that. He said, getting her braces today, I just dropped.
Her off at school. She was like she there's a side of her loving it because she's been wanting to do this for a while, but there's another side going, oh my god, I'm already in pain. It's two years. But she looks very cute.
Actually, she do clear, She do clear. She did do this clear, it's clear with rubber bands that are coming, it's clear.
But the molus at the towards the back, they're actual brackets you see, like the silver stuff. But the main smile is kind of clear.
What clear brackets they're brack clear brackets. Yeah, it's not in visil line. They're braces.
No, they're braces.
But she opted to go clear, don't clear, get yellow.
Oh my god, where's my retainer?
Oh I got here? We go with the retainer that you everything I'm supposed to have got adjusted to sit.
In the case.
It got adjusted to sit in the box.
It did no, I'm going to do it. It's just it's hard.
Guys are clear braces, don't tyke it yellow clear No, no, to be fine, really fine? Oh wow, be fine? Anyways, another step in parenting. You know this book that I told you I've been reading, how to Raise Mentally Strong Kids, We are also again just failing in the department of what parent with student athletes. We are failing.
What do you say that?
Because again we do when we've gotten better, But it's like it goes It says the same thing that we've been hearing all the time. Don't coach your kids, keep your relationship as a parent, don't be given advice from the sidelines. Don't scream. So many kids talk about like I wish I had to shove on my back so I could just bury myself because my like literally it says there, my mom embarrasses me, my dad embarrasses me. It says in the book like every kid goes through the same feeling of parents.
That did you see pass?
How do you?
Says cipass his Greek and something else? Player top ten male? You know the French Open is happening right now, and he was playing against I forgot Oh my god Acharas he was playing against a charas right, and the dad, I guess he's one of the coaches. You know, his mom was a pro tennis player, I think dad, and he comes from a family of athletes. So mom and
dad are there and he was did he lose? Actually I don't know, he lost, right, so he lost his bananas because the dad said something, and he just very loudly talked to the dad in Greek. So I don't know what he said, but the commentators were saying that it was completely and called for to a like what would the kid talk to a dad like that? And it was clearly the conversation between them, but he said it loud enough for everybody to hear, and I don't listening.
He was under a lot of pressure, know she Alcarazis is tight, so every mistake, you know, gets in their head. And you see the dad like trying to us to also stay composed and not say anything because he's in the middle of playing. But what happens if you're the dad is the.
Coach, because I think in most pro sports, like not most a lot of pro sports, dads were coaching for sure, exactly the parents were coaching because they almost behind every great athlete there was like a parent that was instrumental in pushing them along, even if it caused conflict.
So then that's why I feel like the kids have to also chill. Yeah, but I don't because once they become adults, they they thank their parents. You know, they have knowledge it was necessary.
The book also talks about how it's like you can be even you can add more confusion to the to the puzzle of learning a sport or being involved in the sport, because they have coaches that should be correcting and giving them that advice, and they should be following that. But more cooks in the kitchen, more information. Every parent wants to be a coach, and it is Listen, if a kid says I want to play with you, it says you go play with your kids in the backyard,
Go do sports with the kids. Just don't keep giving them advice. Let the coaches give them advice. I think parents can do it too.
But if you are an expert on something and you see your kids pursuing where you are, that's the problem an expert at And you know how brutally it is as a human being to see the kid that you love more than anything in the world to do something that is wrong and not correct. The posture, the technique is like why the service If you're saying, baby, listen, this is not how you hold it. This is the way you do it.
But like with the I get under it feels like it should make perfect sense. But like in the book, it also makes perfect sense. It's like, they're not our projects. There are kids where they're to groom them and help them in guide exactly.
Project parentinge is different than coaching.
Though you're talking about.
You as parents eric your goal in them through life. It's yeah, you are protecting them. You talk is a.
Project, it has to be.
It's a life long project, healthy protection. I know. I don't think any parent. Some parents might take it too far and there's nothing healthy about the way they can at times. If you have a parent that is actually teaching you, coaching you.
With love, yes, but for a kid. But for a kid, it is very hard to separate the parent coach relationship and that is what's more valuable keeping that parent relationship alive or the coaching relationship alive. And it's very hard. It's very hard to balance both. All I'm saying is that it is kind of true that look, at some point the kid will invite you in or not, I think,
into that space. But you hire coaches for that reason to be the ones that are in charge of nudging them and pushing them and correcting them, and for you not to confuse them or us not to confuse them. I should say, I don't mean you as in you, but you as and parents. It makes a lot of sense to me. However, we fail at it all the time. I do too. I'm not saying that, you know, we both do it. It's where I was arguing through the other day. So I get it. But it is toxic
in a lot of ways, and I don't know. It's very fascinating with this book. It also talks about like bullying, which is funny because it's like, you should never allow your child to be bullied in the true sense of the word, and you should teach them how to overcome bullying, not intervene, but teach them how to handle it. But also differentiating between bullying or someone have an opinion, like if someone comes in and says, oh, man, like a
kid starts oh, I can't believe it. So and so made fun of mine or said they didn't like my shoes, that's not bullying. That's just an opinion that doesn't agree with you. If someone starts bullying you verbally, they're saying jobs that don't make sense. Right, So teaching your kid how to how to smile and sort of comment back to the kid in a diffusing way that they have no comeback, because what bullies prey on are weak kids that show emotion and get a reaction they want. Bullies
want a reaction. So if a kid is trained not to give them a reaction, and even if it's even if it's like you know your mom did this and you yeah, I know, I keep telling my mom not to do that, smile and walk away, the kid has no comeback. So the bully has to pause. Now, it says, the difference is if a kid lays their hands on somebody, the bully, that is not bullying anymore. Then it's actually they just started the book. Yeah it's not bullying. Then it's like a form of assault.
And then why do you teach your kids?
Do you you go as far as intervening and getting the school involved, or even like it says, even long file and report.
So The book doesn't say teach your kid that if he's been bullied to the point of physical contact.
Only in is different than assault.
Okay, so the book doesn't say, if your kid is assaulted, make sure that you teach them you.
To assault punch back. I mean, look, self defense is a real thing. So I think self defense is valid, but I also think don't the terms. It's basically saying is people mix up the term. They think like if a kid, like there was a kid being choked on a school bus. They give us example choked and like hit on a school bus a little bit by another kid, and they're like, he's being bullying. It's like, no, no, that's not bullying, that's assault. Like that's actually a charge police with that.
I agree. But my question to you is, as as a parent of a boy.
Yeah, if he gets assaulted, you should teach him self defense and then you would file. I would say you take it up to higher level of either school.
But you'll be comfortable telling him if he punches or you're going to punch back.
If yeah, you should defend yourself. Percent, Oh god, one hundred percent. I want my kid to defend.
Him because I'm sure there's some parents that go absolutely not. You just go take it, and then you just go run and.
You take it. I think you defend yourself and then you go get you get the right help because somebody has done something to you.
Because at least my brothers were taught by my dad, you know, beat him up to the pulp. Is that? Is that correct? Until you see blood?
Yeah?
I mean, and always you throw the first punch, don't don't don't don't worry for anybody to even make the motion. Is that the second you see the motion happening, boom.
So if you're talking about two people, like much I grew up, two people squared off and like got into a fight. Right, if you know you're about to get into a fight and there's no avoiding that fight, then you could throw the first punch or take the or take it and then you know, come back with a
you know, a CounterPunch. Right, But if there's a way to diffuse it without throwing a punch, then I think that would be the better case because if you go and throw the first punch, then that person says, well, then you actually pat them up. Then you take the assault.
Church you know what's an interesting guys, we as you know, we're really good friends.
Also talks about guys.
This is really funny. I want to say two things. First is, you know, we're good friends with Mario Lopis and Courtney Lopis, right, and they have three kids, and the two boys are very much into jiu jitsu and wrestling, you know, and he's always telling us that it's so important to take Dylan to do some kind of martial arts, you know, specifically jujits. So that's what they followed. That's what they love, is self defense. The kids are stads.
Niko is winning all kinds of tournaments. I mean Niko, Like, I'm such a fan of Nigo. Anyways, I'm like, absolutely not. I don't want Dylan around anything to do with like aggression or boxing. No exactly. But wait and he tried karate and that didn't work. He was bored. Anyways, I'm like, nobody's touching the beautiful little face. I will I can't. Anyways,
then I'm looking. I'm listening to this podcast and Dana White, which is also a good friend of Mario, was tiling some guy asking what is the best advice you could do as as a dad right to your kid? What is the best thing you can do for your kid that is going to be a life long lesson, something that they're going to carry for life. And he said, your kid goes to ju jitsu. It's the most the most complete sport. It teaches them discipline and and to
need to be neutral, to study situations self defense. So nobody messes with somebody that knows you. So every single kid should go to jiu jitsu, right, And it has me thinking. So the other day, I'm playing with Dylan.
He won't do it, you want to do it.
But it's funny. I'm in the backyard and we're playing and I said, did I want you to do jiu jitsu? Here's me going against everything that I have ever said. He will never do a contact sport at that level, right, And he said, what what is that? So I'm putting I'm showing him videos. I'm showing him Nicol like looking like a start, right, and he's just observing and he's like, well,
that's wrestling. I'm going, well, that's the difference. I don't know too much about it, but I think wrestling is this, and I thinks is this. Come here, let's play and we roughed around a little bit and we're laughing hysterical. So do you like it? And he's like no, he said no, and I was like, okay, you're too young. Anyways, you're too young. And so that's one thing. I know, what do you think it'll freak me out? I wouldn't be like, like I tell Courtney all the time, how
do you go to those tournaments? How do you see him?
If your kid has it in them from the get go and they're comfortable in that and buying.
That's not the right.
It's a very get there at some point.
Yeah, I just want to make sure that he knows how to defend himself.
Yeah.
And another thing that I was and this is very personal, guys, but it's very interesting because we're talking about parenting and and all that, right, and you know, we go through it. And Eric now has been very mindful about the way he communicates and he's trying to pay himself because of
the book, which I think is fantastic. But last night I had with the kids, Yeah, I had a little incident with Sebbie that annoying me so much because just Sebbie being Sebbie a teenager, you know, I want to do something that I'm helping her, and she's like, don't know, like this, no, no, and she's just fighting me every step of the way, which is what they're supposed to do at this age. But you know what, it was a long day. I'm going through a lot of stuff
work wise. My patients at the moment is zero. So I leave the room and I tell Eric I can't with her anymore. So I got up in the morning and I tell Eric, I can't. I can't. I just need some space. And I said, I don't want to take her to this appointment. It's like I just need
some space from her. And then I said something that it bothered you, because you know that is a comment that it has affected me in my entire life, which is when I was maybe sevy age, I was very difficult with my mom as well, not Sabella difficult, difficult in different ways, but it was very difficult, you know. And my mom said to me in one of those moments that she just had it with me, and she's like, if I would have known that this was having a daughter,
I wouldn't have had one. And I never forget when she said that to this day. I'm fifty one years old, and I think about it, and at that moment it bothered me. It hurt me. It has hurt me.
What clearly because you still think about it.
But then today I said to Eric, I feel just like my mom. If I would have known that it was like this, I would have thought twice about it. And Eric was like, ras, don't say that. That is awful. That caused so much damage to you and your emotional life, you know what I mean? And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, generation and listen, and it's generational trauma. About to be honest with you, I understand that, and it's I'm not
gonna repeat it because it's very damaging, you know. And I actually don't feel like that ninety nine percent of the time, because I would have when you have.
To realize how damaging it is. Fifty one years later, you're still talking about it.
I know. But I never wanted to see my mom's side. My whole life was about she's wrong, she's too controlling, she's to this, she's to that.
Right.
I was always as a kid, as you're always picking on everything that your parents are doing that are wrong, you know, And it was wrong to say that. But now as a mom dealing with a teenager that is a girl, I just go, I understand why my mom said that, But you guys, I actually understand it.
I get it. I think a lot of pains. It's like the saying, like we said before, like a lot of parents love their children, they don't like their children at certain stages in their growth because it's so difficult and they can be so challenging. And God bless you for all of your parents that say, oh, my kid's perfect, they don't do any of this, that's awesome like that if you don't live through that. But I know a lot of people deal with teenage drama, and it's to.
Everybody deals with it.
I mean, I'm sure there's variations different degrees.
But there's that smooth sailing all the way and your kid never give you any trouble. I don't think that exists.
I don't know. I mean, I'm an amount of trouble, I'm sure, But to the level of that you would say make a comment like that, probably not everybody goes to the same.
The crazy thing is, I was a really good kid. I don't know why my mom.
Said that, just like you were a fast runner.
I was a fast runner. I was an amazing kid. I know, I never actually gave I was amazing. I never gave any trouble. The only trouble was a boy that I would like that SHO wouldn't like.
The thing is like in this book talks about again like generational trauma. I was not a believer in any of that kind of stuff, you know that I always been like whatever. But this book is opening my mind to a lot of things. And some of it is easier said than done, like to say and do and be that perfect with how you communicate and et cetera,
et cetera. But I do you know, probably agree that you can create generational trauma that doesn't break and then it becomes like it even goes as far as saying it manifests in you and even in the development of the child when you're carrying the baby, like stressors whatever.
Let's say you're going through panic attacks. So let's say you're going through mental health issues and you're pregnant, that that's going to affect potentially the genetic makeup the chemistry of the baby, you know, because they're they're evolving and changing in the bo Okay, But I mean, like that's
a perfect example. Like those and those continued things are affecting your child that you've been You've brought into this world from it, that from you know, the womb, and generationally, so you're dealing with all these cards and you have to find a way to break that cycle for the kids so they can try to break it for their children. You know, it's the only way I can think about it. It's it's I didn't believe it totally, but now I'm I'm listening.
So because the book says it, not because your wife has been telling you for pretty much nineteen years.
You've been telling me not trying to break it general. I'm not what trying to break the generational You just said it this morning, but I didn't tell her that. I will never tell Sabella that I was. You've probably said things that you were.
I've been breaking generational trauma my whole life. I left my country.
I trauma.
Are you joking that I left at your country to get out of no meaning, I left my nuclears, I left my family.
I left Trauma is just spread your wings and just grown.
No, it's generational trauma because I was.
Trauma is to not leave you.
That's your soul wanting to fly and stay and break away from the chans. But at that moment, it wasn't about I want to leave because I want to leave my family. Was I want to leave because I have aspirations.
I want to get it, I want to that's breaking.
It is growth.
Every kid that's left their family is not breaking generational trum if they moved away to go.
In my case. In my case, it was my soul having more more knowledge than my mind at the moment to do I know. But and you know, out of one hundred people, ninety eight even with an aspiration, would not leave them.
But again, I don't think that's the definition of breaking generational trauma.
That's you experiensing spread away to do something. Yes, but it was a step towards it. It was a little bit subconsciously. It was a little but maybe subconsciously. That's what I'm saying, my soul, that's what I mean.
Subconsciously, subconsciously breaking genertional trauma. But moving away from your subconsciously breaking.
When I left my first my first marriage, right, it was breaking generational trauma.
That is because that's a different example though that's different you're an abusive You're an abusive mentally and verbally abusive relationship that is breaking generation.
The majority of women stays breaking trauma.
Breaking trauma. Saying I want to leave to go to fulfill my aspirations of acting is not breaking generational trauma.
You're not getting it. You don't understand what I'm saying. No, I want a subconsciously level.
When you left your marriage, it was not I'm assuming that was a conscious level to break down trauma, but it wasn't. I mean, yes, both, but it was more conscious as well. It's both when you're when you're leaving to go pursue your dreams in acting.
You know how I'm breaking genercial generational trauma by not repeating what my mom.
Said to me, which is what I brought up this morning. I know that. I agree.
You're not getting it.
No, I agree. I'm just saying that subconsciously in the first example, consciously and subconsciously in the second example. Oh my gosh, dear me, I didn't stic that. My god, what are the Spanish words I could say right now? Listen, I want to start off by saying, also, not start off. I want to jump into a different topic. Thank you everybody who has been supporting, uh this pre launch of Palm Republic rum. It has been nerve wracking, exciting, everything at all at the same time. But we started at
pre orders, uh what was it Saturday? I think it was Saturday, and it it went off amazing. I mean, the support of people jumping in buying bottles left and right have been it's been incredible, So thank you so much. We're still in the pre order phase. We'll be launching
June fifteenth. Then you can just click and buy. And it's been really exciting and we definitely you know, I plan on doing plenty and Roz hopefully with me, doing some in store signings and things like that at different liquor stores where we're being carried in market, which will
be Florida initially. We have some liquor stores in San Diego, so I'm trying to work something down there around Comic Con possibly, but hopefully Roz will come to some of these as well, so she'll be drinking, but she'll be passing out things, participating, being involved in the event, so she's also there to sign and say hello, do you not want me to succeed?
Are you joking that I'm sure you'll be there, of course, I want you to.
I want to. I'm sure you'll be there and you can be there, of course, So that will be happening, will be set and stuff like that up as well.
I'll be having a mocktail.
Good stuff coming, good stuff coming. Yeah, I'm not by you being there supporting me. Does that mean you drink?
I know?
I mean you're so worried about that.
You I'm having a Republican mocktail. Yeah, you could support you make upon republic mocktail.
You can't because repolic is wrong, So you can't make a mockdail out of Republic.
Impossible to meet the Republic, No, you can't meet that. Republic is gonna be the mocktail. You're crazy to meet that, but to meet the Republic and it's the same logo, but pink and a little tiny.
Oh my god, what are you so excited about? Just jumping over the place always? What else has been happening? Anything else new to report? She stressed out everybody because she's trying to get her movie officially launched out the gate to spend going on for a decade now, it's been the movie that never airs.
It will I am elector.
Of the movie. You'll ever see a director of a movie that may never come out support.
Is here giving me about and here he is making fun of my passion project, my third baby that is happening. Guys.
It's just everything film making. Every second independent is on notebook and she's writing like NonStop, all day long, numbers like rain Man.
My shirt list. The thing is that when your life depends on somebody else's.
Uh, finance is tough. Period. I don't it with Republic. I think we thankfully we have some amazing partners that came on board. You're dealing with it, you know, to get this independent film made, to actually sell that film, which we know you will, but it's nerve wracking and you're you're you know, even though you're putting up some money as well, it's like your your life is still on the line with other people putting up money. So
it's tough. That's what people don't understand about independent films are very Every.
Single day, I'm taking a shower. We're very black to have a beautiful view from even the or shower or master shower, and I'm taking a shower warm. It feels amazing. I'm looking at the sky, looking at the mountains, looking at the view. I'm always asking God, God, what's the lesson? I know his patience. I know I have to have a lot of patients. I know, I know, but I'm tired. I can't be patient anymore.
I think for your patience, you should simply hopefully you'll get this movie done and when it's wrapped, cut your hair off like you promised at age fifty, and that'll be the birth of you, the rebirth of you.
Who asked that question? Who's the name? Okay, but I do know that there's yeah, some people are saying I know I failed. I failed myself. I'm going to come out opening and say I failed myself and I failed everybody. I promised that at fifty I was going to cut my hair, and I've been saying that for twenty something years. At fifty, I am cutting my hair very short. I want to bob. And I turned fifty one and I didn't do it. It was a broken promise and I'm
very disappointed on myself. I haven't been able to do it.
I cans up next. All right, till next time we will chat more. Love you, bye bye, Thanks for listening, don't forget to write us a review and tell us what you think.
If you want to follow us on Instagram, check us out at he said. Ajado Orson is an email Eric and Ross at iHeartRadio dot com. He said. Ajado is part of iHeartRadio's Mike Would Do That podcast network.
See you next time, ye