Good morning. It's Haystack. It's time for what's pretty much my favorite time of the week. It's when we get a chance to talk to my dear old friend Bama from Alabama. And, Bama, I've heard you kind of had a rough week. Are you doing okay? Well, Haystack, I ain't felt grief like this since they banned Trimspa. Bless it. I'm telling you, this past week alone done lost two people that I got tattooed on my body. They done just up and died. Ozzie and Hulk. Well, wait a minute.
Now you've got tattoos of both of them? You darn right I do. Ozzy's on my thigh, riding a possum and hawks across my shoulder blades flexing with a meat tray. I met Ozzy once at Sturgis. He borrowed my eyeliner and I borrowed his teeth. Wait, did you say his teeth? Well, it's a long story. The short version is they did not fit, but I smiled through it just like a champ. Okay. All right. Well. And what about Hulk Hogan? Oh, man, what a legend. The Rasslin, the Tan? The Arby's endorsement?
That man basically wrote the blueprint for my dream life, minus a reality show and the IRS involvement. Well, that is quite the tribute, Bama. Well, I like to honor my heroes the only way I know how, through emotional instability and questionable ink. So, what's up next for you? Well, I needs to go. I's getting screened to work security at the Golden Corral. So I need to figure out how to falsify my fingerprints. Wish me luck.
Well, I don't know if I should wish you luck or if I should alert somebody. Well, if they don't ask, I don't tell. Bye. Bye now, sugar.