Marjani Lane (@marjanilane) is one of the most well-known Black polyamorous educators and is a hugely important voice in the community when it comes to pro-Black polyamorous activism. To round off this season, we discuss Marjani’s life as a queer, disabled polyamorist, as well as several controversial, hard-hitting issues in the Black polyamorous and polygamous communities: - why Marjani believes that people can be polyamorous cheaters, and that solo polyamory is a life philosophy rather than a ...
Dec 23, 2021•59 min•Season 1Ep. 14
CW: emotional abuse, eating disorders In this harrowing, vulnerable episode, Morgan of @chillpolyamory shares her experiences in a cult from the age of 15-21, how she left and unpacked all the internalised shame and guilt around her sexuality, and went on to embrace an open, polyamorous life. We discuss: - the parallels between high-control groups and certain oppressive religions, and the harm that causes to one's psyche - how content creation has enabled Morgan to deal with her trigger around p...
Dec 22, 2021•57 min•Season 1Ep. 13
Abuse happens in all kinds of relationships, and non-monogamous people are no different. Claire from @polypages and I discuss: - The Duluth Model of the power and control wheel as applied to abusive polyamorous dynamics - Whether the book More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux should still be recommended as a polyamory introductory text - Why toxic positivity culture is harmful and does a disservice to the polyamorous community - Why non-monogamous people are more susceptible to abusive...
Dec 21, 2021•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 12
Michelle Hy's polyamory advocacy work ( @polyamorouswhileasian ) on the political intersection between relationships and race, sex positivity, and body neutrality is well known to many. In this episode we discuss: - Michelle's very sudden introduction to polyamory at 18 years old - Misconceptions in mainstream polyamorous narratives - Handling boundaries and expectations with Asian parents - Why my mother is less accepting of my bisexuality than my cousin's lesbianism - Handling fetishisation of...
Dec 20, 2021•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 11
What do purity culture and mononormativity have in common? I speak with @puritytopolyamory as she shares her fascinating story of moving from the oppressive Evangelical Christian religion to solo polyamory. We discuss: - How purity culture is rape culture, and why it is particularly damaging to people socialised as women - Why the many changes that occur in the opening up process lead to so many previously monogamous relationships failing at no fault of their own - How Christianity and polyamory...
Dec 19, 2021•58 min•Season 1Ep. 10
How is polyamory influencing current and future generations under late-stage capitalism? Join myself and Nayeli ( @antimononormative ), who are both Gen Z, and younger millennial Sky ( @femmmeow ) as we talk about how modern monogamy is influenced by the commodification of intimacy under capitalism, colonialism and heteropatriarchical forces. We discuss: - Sky's upbringing in the Scientology cult and how her embracing her queerness led her to question monogamy and relationships - Nayeli's radica...
Dec 18, 2021•59 min•Season 1Ep. 9
How do polyamorous, neurodivergent people flirt? Albert from @polymananswers and I discuss the difference between (and success rates of) consent-based, directly communicated flirting methods and those utilised by "pickup artists" in mainstream media (which are often built on a foundation of deception and manipulation). We also discuss: - Albert's experiences growing up in a polygamous Hmong household with 2 mothers and a father - How neurotypical people can support their neurodivergent partners ...
Dec 17, 2021•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 8
Compersion, the feeling of joy/happiness at seeing your partner with other people, is often touted as the Holy Grail of polyamory: a milestone you reach once you have achieved complete security within yourself, fully embracing the abundance mindset, and having a complete lack of jealousy. In reality, it's a lot more complicated than that. In this episode, Flo ( @lifewflo ), Alexa ( @polyamoryinpractice ) and I discuss: - deconstructing the binary of compersion/jealousy - queering the timeline fr...
Dec 16, 2021•58 min•Season 1Ep. 7
Polyamory challenges traditional love and many societal norms, but one aspect that is not often talked about is how it can be a tool for anti-capitalist revolutionary change. Roy ( @openrelating ) is a polyamorous personal coach who specialises in helping people of all relationship orientations discover and design their own unique, authentic, conscious and intentional relationships. Together we discuss: - Roy's journey to polyamory and, in particular, his story as a victim of abuse by a female p...
Dec 15, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 6
A big part of polyamory is challenging one's core beliefs and insecurities, and one big thing polyamorous men struggle with is toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is a specific set of expectations and attitudes associated with men that have a negative impact on men's psyche as well as society as a whole, such as aggressive competitiveness and machismo, entitlement to and ownership of women's bodies, tying one's self-worth as a man to sexual performance, and so on. Today I speak with Chad ( @pol...
Dec 14, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 5
Ro Moed ( @unapolygetically ) is a solo polyamory content creator, personal coach, and aspiring writer. We discuss: - Ro's polyamory origin story, and how she came to reclaim her independence through solo polyamory after a toxic relationship - What solo polyamory is and how it is still a relatively new term with different definitions within the polyamorous community - Digital boundaries online, parasocial relationships, and how we navigate demands on our time and space and negative comments from...
Dec 13, 2021•56 min•Season 1Ep. 4
Jhen ( @monogamishpod ) grew up in Jamaica and moved to America when she was 20, whereas I ( @polyphiliablog ) grew up in Hong Kong and moved to the UK when I was 16. We talk about the intersection of polyamory and race, including: - our experiences as polyamorous women of colour in both our home countries and the ones we currently live in - the difference between growing up in a majority-white country versus growing up among people of your own race, and how that impacts your psyche - how our re...
Dec 12, 2021•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 3
CW: very explicit discussions of sex and kink! Annie (@annie_undone) is a kinky switch in a polyamorous BDSM dynamic. We discuss: - How to handle breaches of trust within a polyamorous kink dynamic - How kink and group dynamics can intersect in fun ways - How high romance can be kinky! - How polyamory and kink both teach great lessons on consent, communication, and intentionality, and are both excellent mediums for personal growth - How polyamory and kink can conflict when negotiating titles, hi...
Dec 11, 2021•50 min•Season 1Ep. 2
Jes ( @remodeledlove ) is demisexual: she doesn't experience sexual attraction except with an existing romantic/emotional connection. I ( @polyphiliablog ), meanwhile, am megasexual: I don't experience romantic/emotional attraction except with an existing sexual connection. We discuss: - Jes’ identity as a #DemisexualSlut - Why I prefer to have sex on the first date - Meeting up on the first date vs texting for months before meeting up - Why certain “nice guys” may interpret someone’s demisexual...
Dec 10, 2021•46 min•Season 1Ep. 1
