Zach Cherry asks about wasting time

This is a HeadGum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check and see if there's any good snacks available when you're stopping at a gas station. You need fuel too.

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook. Illinois Cheers! Guys, guys, wait, I just have to say, I heard the...

I heard the theme song, which I haven't been able to because of technical difficulties for a while, and I heard it today. That's exciting. Yeah, and I'm one of your hosts, Tig Notaro. Was it as good as you remember? Oh my god, it was music to my ears. It's delightful, right? I'm one of your other hosts, Mae Martin. And I'm the other host, Fortune Feimster, and welcome to the Handsome Pod! Yay!

Yeah, I feel like a bouncer right now in this shirt. Oh boy, are we going to start flexing again? Yeah, we're going to. Fortune. You want to get into this club? You're going to have to come through me. That tough sentence kind of fell apart a little bit. You're going to have to come through. this shirt has like short sleet like really short sleeves so and did you choose it because your guns are growing yeah i don't

I don't think I consciously chose it, but clearly my body was like that one. Show those guns off. I feel like Danny in Greece. It's very like 1950s. I just, I have to say, I just did a photo shoot and I. handsome listener who knew the the like uh stylist or something sent a gift and it was a plain white Hanes t-shirt from 1952 oh like what a well-chosen gift for me that's a very good gift for you right and it's like

Tag still on it is from 1952. It's so James Dean. It's sick. And it's a nice fit. It is. And it's got the shorter sleeves like that, like to show the guns. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Wow.

I just got back from Portugal, guys. Yeah, tell us, how did it go? I did the family vacay with my whole family, my brother, his wife, my parents. We haven't been on a trip together in like... maybe 15 years all of us together since you went to see um what was it that your mother insisted stonehenge yeah yeah

Have you been to Portugal? I love Portugal. It's one of my favorite countries. Oh my God, man. I was on this island, San Miguel, that was... I mean, it's like Iceland where there's like... hot springs geysers coming out of the ground and like volcanic rock and it's super dramatic did i meet a handsome listener in sao miguel in portugal yes i did you did

It's mind blowing, like sitting waiting for my shrimp or whatever in the restaurant and someone went, keep it handsome. That's cool. Yeah. That was fun, huh? So fun. And we did like a... a tour thing with this guide who we went to different hot springs where coming out of the earth was like one of them had sparkling water which i didn't realize like every like Perrier and those sparkling water things like it comes out of the earth bubbly.

It tastes like fizzy. It was fizzy in my mouth and I just drank it straight from the earth. I did not know this. Yeah. And then he took a jug and he filled it up with hot water straight from the earth. And then he made us like cups of tea and we drank tea straight from the water. From the earth. It was from the earth. Do we do anything cool like that in the States?

I mean, there are hot springs, but I'm not seeing a lot of tea. I don't know if I want to drink the water from the earth in the States. I'm not seeing a lot of jugs. I'm not seeing a lot of jugs. What kind of jugs are we talking about here? I knew that was coming, Fortune Marie. Come on. I like jugs. Show me your jugs. Motorboating. So it was a good time, your vacation? Yeah, it was magical. We all regressed to like...

our child selves, my brother and I, and I like, I haven't spent that much one-on-one time with my brother in years. So it was good. It was good. We talked a lot about world of Warhammer and history, you know, it was sick. I actually just spent the weekend with my brother, Jay, and... had not spent a weekend with the two of us. Cause I, you know, I was married and he has, he's married with kids and rarely do we have any one-on-one time. And we both just happened to land in.

my hometown on the same weekend um and spent two days together and it felt like childhood all over again and it was like whoa like Where he was beating you up? He wasn't beating you up. Not with those guns. Not with these guns now, but we like went and played Topgolf and went to a movie. We hung out. What movie?

we went to superman nice it is such a trip to be like an adult hanging out with your sibling it was pretty pretty nice and also like the intimacy of like waking up in the morning and seeing someone in their pajamas and like having your having your cereal with your yeah like we did just yeah and we watched um we watched a movie that we liked when we were kids we on netflix one night We watched Legend. Have you ever seen that? Is that the Will Smith movie?

No, it's... Oh, that's I Am Legend. That's I Am Legend. This is like a weird 80s fever dream of Tom Cruise. He's 19. Tim Curry plays Satan. And then it's... all in like the woodland forest with gnomes and elves and it's mystical and it's so bizarre and and uh i mean it's really like how did this get made it's it's it doesn't make sense like it's really crazy it's all about a unicorn losing its

horn and then sounds like hell yeah and then i see at the end it was directed by ridley scott oh and then i google it it was he made alien And then he made Legend and then he made Blade Runner. So I'm like, what happened between Alien and Blade Runner? This was a passion project. Yeah, that's what it felt like. It felt like one of those like 80s kind of.

cocaine fever dreams where people just went a little nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Does anyone take cocaine and then just nothing? Is that how it works? You take it? All right. I just revealed that I've never taken cocaine. I just took some cocaine. It's funny talking about brothers. I'm about to be with my brother and his wife and his kids. And so we're about to have a little family time, not one-on-one, but I mean, you know, our families together. Are you guys going somewhere or he's coming to you guys?

We're meeting up and then just doing some, you know, whatever. He has a one-year-old and a three-year-old. So it seems like, you know, it's not going to be, it'll probably be around the little cubs, you know? Gotcha.

But yeah, so a lot of brother time between the three of us. Yeah, seriously. Yeah. Yeah. Big fan of brothers in general. Yeah. One thing, because my brother is a historian. And one thing he told me, like going anywhere with him.

you get the whole context of that place in in history and like he just has this crazy memory and anyway but he told me that um when they discovered the azure islands which are kind of in the middle of the atlantic but they're as far from europe as they are from nova scotia and uh they were sailing and then they found and they imagine you've gotten

very little food you're on these horrific ships like crowded and and you got scurvy and stuff and they find these like paradise islands where it's so beautiful nothing's there there's no even natural predators there it's like just birds and anyway but because of the hot springs coming out of the earth they thought it was a portal to hell and they were so stressed that they were like don't stop here because it smells like sulfur like

And I guess in the Bible, it says that hell smells like sulfur and stuff. So they were like, oh, fuck this. And they left. Is that the actual line? Hell smells like sulfur. Yeah. And followed by fuck this. Fuck this. That would be a scary portal.

to come across as a portal to hell. Oh, yeah. You don't want that. No. You seen Buffy? No. No, I haven't. Wait, what? I know. I feel like a terrible gay. Oh my God. I didn't know that was gay. What do you mean gay? I think lesbians were obsessed with Buffy back when it first aired. In the beginning. Right? It was gay. I don't know. In the way that like in the 90s you would grasp onto anything.

like even vaguely alternative as gay like but then it became explicitly gay when um willow one of the main characters got a girlfriend in the later seasons that was big for me which was more uncommon back then right like very uncommon yeah Yeah, it was shocking. And then who was the star of Buffy? Sarah Michelle Gellar. I didn't know that. Who never won an Emmy for Buffy. And truly, this performance, I mean, you've got to watch it, Tig. I bet actually when they're a bit older.

the boys would like it. It's so good, so well written. She carried that show. I could go on and on. You know, years ago, I'm sure I've mentioned I used to work for the director Sam Raimi's company. And we produced. When I say we, I answered phones terribly. Xena, Warrior Princess. And that was one of those like very... huge huge lesbian following yeah which then the i feel like the writers kind of listened to that and then in the later seasons like sort of canonized that

Did you watch that? Of course. Every episode. I didn't watch it either. Yeah. The fact that, you know, Lucy Lawless like blows my mind. Yeah, well, I remember you were like, you got to get Lucy and I'll be able to get her. No problem. I just keep forgetting. Thomas, put that on the list. Put it on the list. Maybe I can get Sarah Michelle Gellar. That would be great. Okay.

Yeah, why not? Yeah, why not? I'm with Fortune. Yeah, why not? Yeah, why not? She's cool. I also finished memorizing all the capital cities. While I was away. Do you want to talk to Finn? Yes, please. Yes, please. I want to talk to him about how hard the South Pacific is. Okay. And then there's also a new game that Finn likes to play, which is name any.

position or whatever on any baseball team. And he'll tell you who the player is. Oh my God. Any single one. That's pretty crazy. Like if he feels like, cause for me, I'm just. desperate for there to be a situation where i need this knowledge like i want to be in a bar on a hot date and there's like a trivia game going on in the corner and then one of the questions is like can you name all the capital cities of the world and i'll be like yeah no problem but you never have

You're like, yeah, no problem. Let me call Finn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That stuff will come in handy at some trivia night at some point. It will.

I was shocked when, especially when you go back to Toronto, I was shocked when I was filming in Toronto how many trivia nights there were around the city. Yeah, it was so big in England where there were like... vicious trivia teams like I'd go every week to this one and like my team we had enemies this other team and it started because somebody brought their dog into the pub and then Someone on the other team complained and said, I hate dogs. This was a Labradoodle.

that we're talking about. And I was like, they're my enemies, this team. And then they'd accuse us of cheating if we beat them. It was kind of the focus of my life for a good four years. That is hilarious. Yeah, their quiz team was called The Taking Part. And we were like, what? They were just taking part of the evening. The taking part. We're going to take you apart. Ours was like butts and dicks or something. Butts and dicks united. Also great. Butts and dicks. Divided. How about that? Yeah.

Where you're in back in the closet. You're still away. Yeah. I'm in the closet. It feels good to be in the closet. I've been. Working out. I'm trying to compete with everybody's guns. Yes. And I don't think I can. I am bench pressing 15 pounds. I'm bench pressing a bar that has no weights added at this point. Okay. You got to start there. Yeah, you do. You have to start somewhere. And I have started there. Yeah. God. And you know what I have to say? That's also been a fun surprise is my trainer.

is, you know, sometimes you'll work closely with somebody and then whether they're familiar with you or getting familiar with you, there's like a heightened. change in their personality where it's a little uncomfortable to be that working that close with them maybe oh you know what i'm saying in what way like they're They're polished. I don't know. I desire a normal relationship with people. I don't want anyone to treat me like I'm above them or more interesting than they are.

Or I just want to, I just want to talk to them and do whatever activity we're doing. And, you know, and she is just has been so great. And just so normal and wonderful to be around. And also with the loss of Andrea, like she's experienced a lot of just grief and trauma in her life. And it's just been a nice kind of connecting experience for me. Yes. And I just feel very lucky that nothing has shifted.

You know, we had the relationship where she wasn't familiar with, she didn't recognize me. And then I guess when I left the gym, other people in the gym recognized me. And then she looked me up and was like, oh, I've seen you. It just didn't click. But nothing changed. She just was doing her job and we just talked. And she would be like, oh, I watched your show and then just had questions or comments about it. And then I lifted my 15-pound bar. So it was just nice that that just remained normal.

Yeah, that's good. You know how sometimes people get nervous, they want to make you laugh, and they think that that's the only way you can connect is if they come on strong and they're funny. Or they're nagging you. Whatever it is, it's just like... I just love that nothing shifted and we're just lifting very light weights and just talking about grief. Yeah, she didn't come in with like a bar with two rubber chickens on the end.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check the instructions when you're building that flat pack furniture, nothing's worse than having to rebuild an upside down bookshelf.

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary. Subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

This episode of Handsome is brought to you by Wild Grain. Wild Grain is the first bake from frozen subscription box for artisanal breads, pastries, and pastas. Wild Grain's boxes are fully customizable to your tastes and dietary restrictions. In addition to their classic variety, They recently launched a new gluten-free box and a plant-based box that is 100% vegan. I am a proud recipient of the plant-based box from Wild Grain, and it is so good.

There's something in there for my entire family and the quality and freshness really cannot be beat. Nothing is more fun than setting the oven to bake and anticipating that delicious croissant. or baguette from Wild Grain. Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep?

Be sure to check out Wild Grain so you can begin building your own box of artisanal breads, pastas, and pastries. For a limited time, Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box, plus free croissants in every box. When you go to wildgrain.com. You heard me. Free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash handsome. That's wildgrain.com slash handsome or you can use promo code handsome at checkout.

summer means breezy clothing bold colors all the effortlessly cool looks you've been waiting to wear for months let's talk about what's underneath because The right shapewear can make all the difference for your summer outing. Today's episode is brought to you... by Honeylove, a brand that is redefining shapewear by prioritizing comfort and support. Honeylove has the best shapewear and bras around. One of my favorites is Honeylove's best-selling crossover bra, which gives you

you all the support of traditional bras without any of that pesky underwire. It's so comfortable. I forget I'm wearing it. Unlike other bras, which I can't wait to take off as soon as I get home. I hear you, girl. So treat yourself to the most comfortable shapewear on earth and save 20% off site-wide at honeylove.com slash handsome. Use our exclusive link to get 20% off, honeylove.com slash handsome. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them.

Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Experience the new standard in shapewear with Honey Love. But yeah, and it's that nice kind of level of workout where...

You feel that you've worked out, but you're not like, oh my God, I can't lift my legs. I don't like that kind of workout. I know. I'm past those days of having my ass kicked. I like to have my ass kicked, but I don't know what that says about me. You're younger than us, so you can still get your ass kicked for a little bit longer. But also, personal trainers, I mean, so many people.

act as like therapists when they don't know they have to like during filming I had that I had a personal trainer during filming wayward and oh my god I'd be like crying as I was lifting weights and but they know about the body too so they're really and and if they're a good trainer about breathing and stuff so yeah I do recommend

uh i mean get a therapist as well but and i have a therapist but now i have just a nice person to talk to while i'm lifting very light weights yeah i need to get a trainer i got a great one i will send you out but i did in i gotta go i gotta go to a gym no no they'll come to you oh interesting in portugal there was a pool and i said to my family I'm going to tread water and make a video. I said, I'm going to make a video of it, send it to taking fortune. I started and I was like,

I can't, I don't, I gave up. After how long? Oh, five minutes. Like I, Oh no. Yeah. But it was like part, it was part boredom. Part like cardio. I was just like, oh, this is tough. But the intention was there. But maybe next time. I love that you were going to try. Yeah. Now, here's my question. If somebody was like. You have to do one hour or else we will kill you. Yeah, then I can do it. Those stakes are high. You could do it?

yeah yeah oh you have those guns you could for sure do it i could do it i think what i couldn't do is um hold my breath like um if someone said you're gonna die unless you can hold your breath underwater for like two and a half minutes. I don't know. I don't think I could do that either. Yeah. You'd have to get real Zen. What I do with the treading water that helps is I play a like podcast on the side of the pool. Yeah.

So that I'm not focused on being tired. I'm just listening to the podcast. Yeah, I do that with True Crime and working out. But lately, I've been getting in the pool. It's a nice way to wake up. Yeah. I've been getting in the pool and making my breakfast and then I eat my breakfast in the pool. Oh my gosh. And then I'm having such a delightful time eating my breakfast and I just like start scrolling on my phone and so for like the next 30 minutes.

minutes i'm just hanging out in the pool eating and scrolling and then i'm like oh crap i gotta tread and then so i've only been treading for like 30 minutes because i've only had an hour total

And wait, aren't you supposed to not swim if you've eaten, if you just ate? I don't know, but I'm doing it all wrong. I think that's not true. Now, what is your breakfast? A bowl of cereal? Please say yes. No, it's like eggs or... to create i'm trying to eat at home right now because i've been traveling a lot so when i'm at home i want to like eat better so just like eggs or sweet potatoes or something like that there's some like um

I'm sure these aren't great for you, but Trader Joe's has some little gluten-free pancakes that are really good. Oh, I like those. The little silver dollar little ones. They're really tasty. Hey, I also, when I was away, I took some pictures of a menu in a restaurant I was in because there were some items on the menu that I don't know if this is just the English translation or they made me laugh so much. And I don't know what they are.

And I don't want to, I don't want to know. I just want to imagine, but okay. So like I took a picture and I circled the funny one. So you got cow woodpecker. Delish. I'll tell you what that is. No, you're supposed to interrupt me and say you can't tell me, Tig, and you didn't. Wait, but do you really know? No, of course not. Oh my God, no, I don't want to know. So we got cow woodpecker, pork woodpecker, regional rump in yeast cake.

One, this is the most intriguing, was just called Run to the House. What do you think that is? Was there just, there was no description. It's just, I'll have the run to the house. That sounds like it might give you diarrhea. Yeah. It sounds like the runs. Yeah. It's under the, in the meat section and it's called. Alcara a casa. Run to the house. Run to the house. What did you get? I just got calamari. I'll stick with the calamari. There's a lot of fish in Portugal, right? Yeah.

I spent a lot of time in southern Portugal when I lived in Spain, and some areas were pretty remote where we went to this little restaurant in the village. They had goats in the back and they were making the goat cheese right then and there thanks to those little goaty goats. And it was delish.

Like milking the goats? Milking the goats and making that goat cheese. And putting it right on the table. Oh my God. You can make goat cheese that fast? Just right out of the goat? That's what they told me if they lied. Then it worked because I was like, best goat cheese I've ever had. So fresh.

Just goat cheese falling out of the goat right onto your plate. Or maybe it wasn't like, maybe, you know, they're making it in batches, but you got one batch from yesterday's milk. I feel like it takes a while. for probably i didn't ask questions clearly they just were like it's from that goat out there and i was like great love it

I'm very excited in my little vegan world. I found some vegan blue cheese and I used to really enjoy blue cheese burgers. Yeah. And so I'm going to make a blue cheese. Impossible Burger. Ooh, that'll be tasty for you. And you like the vegan blue cheese tasted good? I haven't tried it yet, but I had this really funny experience where...

Stephanie and I, this was several years, a few years ago, but we were at Sarah Paulson's birthday and she had gotten, and I'm assuming it was just for us, a little vegan cheese plate. And I was eating it. And I turned to this woman that I'd just been casually talking to. And I said, oh, my gosh, this cheese is so good. Try this. And the woman took a bite.

And then she turned to me and she said, how long have you been vegan? And I said, oh, I've been vegan, like, you know, whatever it was at the time, six years. And she was like, OK, because this doesn't taste anything like cheese. Whoa, you've forgotten. She's like. I mean, truly, my mind was blown. I was like, this is so incredible.

And I mean, Stephanie, I think we were the only two vegans there and we were just scarfing it down, mind blown. And that woman, I mean, we might. Yeah, it was. So I don't know if the blue cheese is good. I'll probably think it is. I've had some amazing vegan cheese. Yeah. Like the spreadable. There was one at the farmer's market in Studio City for years and then they stopped selling it. But it was like this spreadable cheese with some kind of like.

cayenne or something in it and it was so good yeah i mean they can make people think of vegan cheese as just like the, you know, kind of plasticky grocery store cheese, but you can really get some incredible vegan cheeses, especially at like... Gourmet places or like specialty places or like farmers markets.

Anyway, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So I'll let you know how the blue, that used to be my favorite kind of burger was a blue cheeseburger. Yeah. Well, let us know. We were going to need an update on our next podcast, please.

Oh, my goodness. Who is this character? This character. Who is this? I don't know, but I'd really like an update about you. No, no, no. Who are you? I'm just a woman that loves... vegan cheeses and i'd really like to know how this blue cheese tastes on your burger i mean i hang in vegan circles and i have never met you i'm a vegan Oh, wow. Welcome. I'm new to town and new to veganism. Where did you move from? I moved from Cincinnati. Oh, really? And one of your vegans there. What is your name?

Amelia. Hi, Amelia. Hello, Amelia. It is such a pleasure to meet you. I just figured in the big city I should try vegan because there's more opportunities. And when I say it's a pleasure to meet you, I of course mean it's a pleasure to... plant-based meet you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm excited for the salads that will grace our tables because I'm moving in with you, right? Oh, not with me. Our house is full.

No, you can move in with me. You can move in with me. I need to move in with someone. So you came from Cincinnati with no plan. No plan whatsoever. Okay. And I noticed you're wearing a lot of badges on your backpack here. A lot of... I used to be a Girl Scout. Right. Okay. Also, what I'm noticing more than anything is that your accent doesn't match Cincinnati. Can you explain that?

I've lived in many places and many lives. I'm not from Cincinnati. I just moved from there. Oh, and how old are you? Oh, God. Twelve. Fifty-three. Fifty-three. And I'd really love to live with one of you. Well, it's going to be May. Yeah. It's going to be May. Is May a vegan? No. Then I cannot be with May. Oh, no, I am... I'm going to need to live with you, Tig. No, no, no. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. I insist. No, Penelope. I'm sorry. It's Amelia. Whatever. You cannot.

Okay, well, I'll get your address online. No, you won't. I'm sure I will. Okay. Well, I'm moving. Love her. And I'm calling the police. I gotta go. Oh, good. It's already a warrant out for Amelia. Oh, wow. What a treat. What a fun little visitor we had there that we hope to never see again.

Should we hear from our question asker before Amelia comes back? Yeah, let's. Although I honestly think it should be a segment every episode. We should have a visitor. Not necessarily Amelia. One of us just has to go over the character. Yeah.

All right. Next pod. One of y'all has to bring somebody. I'm, I'm excited about today's question asker because I just met him. In Nantucket, I did a panel with him and I was already such a fan because I'm a huge fan of Severance, the TV show. And I met him and his amazing wife. I became friends with her and we were doing watercolor paintings on the beach and they're just such nice people. Of course you were. Yeah. Of course you were. So I'm really excited. Today's.

Emmy-nominated question asker is best known for playing Dylan in Severance. He also plays Ethan in You, Woody in Fallout, and voiced Wolf on Duncanville. Zach Cherry is asking today's question. Nice.

Hi, HandsomePod. I have a question, which may or may not be relevant to how I've been spending my recent few days. What is a way that you could easily just waste... like 10 hours and i say waste because i don't mean like spend time with your loved ones or uh you know something good like that i mean just like you're in a room And you get to choose one kind of activity. It could be a hobby or it could be just like something mindless that you could easily spend 10 hours doing.

So nothing productive. Yeah, like... Summer is winding down, and that's a little bittersweet. But there's also something nice about settling back into more of a regular routine. Being home more often is a chance to really reflect on my space and my style. And that's where Wayfair comes in. From bedding and linens to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one-stop shop.

You can refresh your workspace with desks, bookcases, office chairs for way less, or make weeknight dinners a thing again with quality cookware that makes mealtime a breeze. When I was decorating my home office, I wanted to get a very specific... Art Deco look, but a lot of Art Deco stuff comes with a shockingly high price tag. That's where Wayfair came in so handy.

I was able to achieve the look I wanted with quality pieces from Wayfair and everything looked exactly like I envisioned it. They have so many options, so many colors. If you can imagine your dream furniture, Wayfair probably... W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. Picture a giant magnet attracting all your favorite animated shows. That's Hulu Animaham, your animation destination.

Catch all the shenanigans on classics like The Simpsons, Futurama, American Dad, and many more. Hulu Animayhem, your animation destination. Stream now on Hulu on Disney+. For Hulu and Bundle subscribers, terms apply.

If you love comedy, conversation, and hearing famous people get a little too honest, you'll want to check out Armchair Expert. Every Monday and Wednesday, hosts Dax Shepard and Monica Padman sit down with actors, comedians, scientists, really anyone interesting for honest, curious, and hilarious conversations about life.

But some of the funniest moments, they come from listeners. Every Friday, Dax and Monica listen to outrageous, awkward, and deeply human stories from fans on the phone in real time on their Armchair Anonymous series. From disastrous dates to family secrets, accidentally joining a cult, and a poop disaster you won't believe. They've heard it all.

It's relatable, chaotic, and laugh-out-loud funny. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to Armchair Expert on YouTube. Zach is funny.

self-soothing thing maybe like uh the the thing that comes to mind for me is is kind of the capital cities thing or like memory that seems productive oh yeah i guess yeah Yeah, that caveat is a little hard because I just, I thought it was like, how could you spend... or waste 10 hours, whatever it is. I guess if productivity comes from it, I guess that's fine. Yeah, yeah. Anything goes.

I guess it's something that you can get so fixated on that you lose track of time and you're on your own just in your little world. Like people play video games or like, yeah, interesting facts. Oh, you know what? You know what I've done before when I've been on. This is a little embarrassing. I've been on flights where like there's no internet and then I'll, I mean, something positive comes from it.

But have I told you about my to-do list where I move things? I'll make a list of things that I want to accomplish. And it's not like go to the dry cleaners. any of that kind of stuff. It's like big picture to-do list in life. Okay. And then once I do that, I move it to another level, which is that it's done. And then I keep that list so I can keep track of the progress that I've made. And then I also have this part of the list that is...

Things that I am that are up next, like there's things that I am actively working on. Then there are things that I am that are that are that I'm not putting my focus on next, but they are next in line. Yeah. Long term. Yeah. And so I keep track and I move things to the next whatever. I've done that. I think I really enjoy lists. Yeah. And. I also made a bucket list. Oh, yeah. Nice. I do these on flights. Nice. Yeah, where I'm just like, oh, another thing that I can get lost in.

on flights without internet is i'll go through all of my photos and videos and i'll i'll do favorites you know oh yeah yeah where i'm like clean up your phone situation yeah yeah yeah that's juicy And I've and I've had moments where I've thought I've I've been curious what people think I'm doing because you know what I mean? Like, I'm just looking at.

I guess it's not that weird of a thing, but it feels vulnerable when I'm just going through personal pictures and liking things and moving them, deleting, liking. Oh man, but you must get off that flight feeling so organized. Like you've, you've made your lists.

You've organized your phone. Yes. That feels good to me. Yeah. On the flight from Portugal on the way home, I did watercolors on the plane for the first time. And I thought, of course you did. Yeah. I thought I'm never doing that again. Yeah. On the plane. it attracts too much attention. I didn't. Cause you have all this, all this like art supply situation around you. Spilling. I'm like, I've got, you know, I have water in the pens. That was actually, um,

Zach's wife taught me about putting water in the pens, these special ones. But no, it was crazy. And everyone that walked by made a comment and I was like, I can't. I can't do this. What about you, Fortune? Wait, did you have your propeller hat on? Please say you did when you were painting. It was really that vibe. Yeah. Just real quick.

I had such a propeller hat type moment the other day where I was buying a belt for this photo shoot. And the guy had been giving me kind of attitude throughout. Like he was like, I don't think we have any menswear. in your size kind of when I came in basically and so I was already like pissed off then I go to buy the belt and he goes this is probably going to be too big for you I go no that's the belt I want because do you want to try it first I thought all belts were the same size so

I kind of tried. It's way too long. Like I won't be able to, to wear it and it's expensive too, but I had to double down and, and buy it. And as I'm buying it, I hear my, cause he goes, do you want us to order you a smaller one? I go, no. I want this one. And then I go, and then as I'm leaving, I go, my dad. That's what I came for. I go, my. Showed him. The most embarrassing thing was I go, my dad has a leather bore.

So I was basically like, my dad can make additional holes in the belt. A hole. What an embarrassing thing. My dad has a leather. It's going to have an extra flap that long. Yes. You can send it around your waist two times. Yeah. Because it would just be like in the moment too embarrassing for you to just be like, no, that's not the one. Yeah, I just. You were right. Yeah, exactly. I was wrong.

Yeah. And the fact that my revenge on this kind of rude man was just to insist on spending money in his store. It's crazy. Now, is it hard for you to admit that you're wrong?

Because, but I guess I'm saying, I'm asking because I actually wouldn't have pegged you as somebody who would be. It was more like I'd spent. 45 minutes in this store and i was like i gotta leave with something or else i've just wasted yeah yeah yeah but i'm just saying like in personal relationships you know because that's that really you can admit that you're wrong

Yeah, totally. Even when I'm not, just to keep my peace. I was going to say, you don't strike me as somebody that's going to just like... Double down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you just don't like the conflict. Yeah. She's like, it's all me. I'm bad. My bad. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Stephanie and I do this thing where we go, you're sorry.

That's really funny. That's cute. Does that help kind of dissolve some tension? Oh, yeah. We're very used to you're sorry. But anyway, I would have been surprised. and fascinated if you were a double down. A double downer? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's different, a double downer. Yeah. But no, it would have surprised me if you. Thank you. Thank you. That's a good quality. No, thank you. Everybody, it is important for everybody to take accountability. Yeah. I mean, I've been still watching.

Queer Old Tomato. I don't know if Queer Old Tomato, if you're watching Queer Old Tomato. I finished it, yeah. Yeah, me too. Oh my gosh. I talked to Stephanie about it after we talked about it. She was like... I've told you about that show. You have to watch it. Yeah. I think she said, yeah, I don't know. She only watched one season. Yeah. And, and she was like, also. We know the producer. No way. Yeah. And I was like.

somehow I missed all of that and now I'm interested and she's like oh my god that's so funny yeah she was like I've told you I wanted to watch it you're like well my unfortunate told me so now I'm in Yeah. I was like, I don't know. Somehow it just didn't, I just didn't take it in. And I think it was like, as soon as I hear reality show or something, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

You had my full attention and I heard it and I was, and I've already forgotten about it, but now that we bring it up again, I actually am like, we need to watch that. Yeah. I would be curious to hear your thoughts on it.

interesting look into people's psyche well what makes me laugh is like and i i feel like this is quite a kind of queer thing but like the methods that people come up with within their relationship to navigate communication and conflict and these are you know mainly queer women who are so fluent in like attachment styles and things like that and it's just so funny the way it's like well you know when she's triggered i then

you know, we have, she presses a button and then I know it's time to get the guitar and we take a pause. Like, it's like crazy. That's hilarious. The way they like facilitate each other's triggeredness. Yeah. Yeah. But fortune, what's, how would you waste?

I mean, I know Best Fiends is a thing. That one's good for an airplane ride. I'm trying not to do it at home very much. It's a little game that Mae and I play on our phones. Gosh, you know what? It's funny. I work. Crazy hard. I'm like, my calendar would make most people have heart palpitations. So I know I'm a productive person in life, but I can also waste time so easily if given the opportunity. I could...

Waste time in so many different ways. Yeah. Let's hear it. I could sit in the pool or the hot tub for hours. Oh my God, I'll sit in the hot tub for three hours. Yeah, I'll be a raisin. I don't care. I will sit there and sit there and sit there and sit there. I'll go through different times of like talking on the phone or scrolling through the phone or staring into space.

Or talking to myself out loud. I'd love to hear that, especially if it's Amelia's voice. Yeah, so many different iterations of that. If I'm in water, I'm fine. I could be there. forever okay then i'll get out and pee and come back in um you don't just go in the hot tub no i don't want to sit my own pee that's been being But I just read if you pee in the shower, then you're saving 2,500 liters of water a year just by once a day peeing in the shower instead of the toilet.

Well, all right. May fact. May fact. I could also waste time by just sitting and watching terrible television or good television.

um but there's something better about terrible television when you're like you don't have to think about anything yeah yeah um how else how else oh i could similar to tig uh when i'm on a plane i could for hours go through old photos and delete photos just like ad nauseum just like because you know we all take like for whatever reason when people take pictures you take like 10.

in one setting yeah of one of one picture you're like i don't need these uh i only need one i don't need 10 yeah so i gotta go erase the nine yeah um but i can do that for hours Erase the nine sounds like another dish on a Portuguese menu. Run to the house, erase the nine. Yeah, I think that's a pretty good time wasting. I could drive forever. I love driving. I could be in a car for hours listening to songs and podcasts going in and out. What podcasts do you listen to?

Only handsome. Yes, of course. That was the right answer. That was a trick question and then you passed. You know, the true crime ones. Yeah. I go out of my favorite murder. some of the other ones uh or you know some of our stand-up friends have podcasts i'll listen to some of theirs see what they're up to some serious xm shows and then and then just a little pandora station of like

Different, you know, Brandi Carlile or Tay Swift or people like that. Florence and the Machine. Do you sing along? Oh, come on now. Any other stupid questions? Have you met me, Mae? I'm singing along, my friend. I haven't sang on here in a while. One of the most popular Brandy Carlisle tunes right there. Have you met me, May? Have you met me, May? Oh, man. There's only like one or two songs that have the name May in it, and I treasure them.

what are they maggie may dirty maggie may they have taken you away and also um google dolls slide oh may you want to get married or run away that oh my god i was like 13 and saw them live and he said my name oh oh tingles not a lot of tig in songs no oh except take a look at me now

that's a song right yeah take a look at me now that's um that's uh phil collins yes take a look at me now that is a stellar tune that could be when your next special could be called take a look at me now but it won't be me no she leans it's in that vein yeah yeah she leans yeah I am leaning right now, too. Fortune, fortune songs. Not one that comes to my mind. No. Thomas, Google it up. I'm trying to think of a pun, like a...

Some punties. Punties. Those are panties with puns on them. Yeah. No, I know. Wait, Thomas is typing. Fortunate Son by CCR. Somebody's seeing it. I don't know it. You don't know Fortunate Son? He knows it. No. Tig, sing to me. No, I will not sing it, but it's one of my favorite Creedence Clearwater Revival songs. I know I would know it if someone sang it. Thomas, do you want to play a little? It's so good. Oh, wait. You're going to sing it?

Okay. Does it sound familiar? We're not going to pay for the clearance. Amy, I'm no senator's son. Oh, it ain't me. It ain't me. Okay. I know it. I know it now. Wait, I was asking you to play the actual song. I wasn't asking you to do that terrible rendition, Thomas. I'm worried about getting a copyright strike on that. We don't want a strike on the old YouTubers. Is that how it works? You get strikes? Don't do that again. You get two more strikes, baby. Should we hear what Zach has just said?

Yes, we should. I mean, it could be a lot of things. You know, I really do love sorting through things. If you gave me like a big pile of papers on the right day, if the AC was going, I could sort papers for 10 hours. Or, you know, read a good book. Unfortunately, lately I've been really wasting a lot of time playing the computer game Civ 7. Civ 7. And it's...

It is ruining my life a little bit as we speak. So yeah, you throw me in a room with that for 10 hours and I blink and it's over. And also... I just I hope that you don't like hang on to this video for a long time because it already sounds embarrassing and insane to be playing this game as much as I am. But if this doesn't if this. You know, if you drop this in 2027 when this game is old and obsolete, then I'll look even more insane. So that's what's going on with me.

How did you spend your 10 hours? I honestly can't think of anything more dreadful than sorting through papers. Really? No. Yeah, I don't want to sort through papers either. No, two against one. Get the hell out of here. No, I think I get it. Yeah, I get it. It was interesting that he specified with the AC going. He's like, I don't want to be hot doing that. No, I like the idea of sorting papers. Can we stop talking about it? Sure. It's just making you feel really bad. Oh, by the way, Tig. Yeah.

I was with a friend who loves zombie movies. And another friend was like, oh, you should watch Army of the Dead. And I was like, Tig's in it. And they had never seen it. So we watched Army of the Dead. You watched that? I mean, I'd seen it when it came out. Oh, you did? But these friends hadn't seen it. And so I watched you.

Be all tough and sexy. Go on, say it. Yeah, and sexy was the next word. I thought you were acting a little shy today around Tig. There she is. She's a movie star. You did great. You look super. Super sexy. Thank you. In your army. Well, it was like a pilot's. Yeah. Onesie. A pilot onesie. A pilot onesie with your cigar. Way to make it sound sexy. Me and my pilot onesie.

I'm going to watch it. I love that genre so much. I just saw 28 Years Later in cinemas. Oh, I went and watched that too in the cinema. Dude. I thought it was weird, but you must have been into it. Loved it, but it was weird. You did? Yeah, yeah. There were dongs everywhere. There were some dongs. There were, Tig, you don't understand. There were all these zombie... Creatures with just the biggest dongs running around. Fortune moron. Fortune. There was one...

Okay, one giant zombie dong. But there were other floppity flops happening too. Well, that's why May was into it. Oh, I was loving it. I think May was into it because it had a British sensibility. Do you like the first? too you like i like the other ones but this one was like what's happening and then the ending was so weird to me and i was like what is oh i could talk for yeah let's talk off pod about the ending

Okay. Now, if we can go back to Army of the Dead. Yes, we can, sexy. Thank you. How great of a job did Zack Snyder do green screening me into that entire movie? It was crazy. And his special effects people. I mean, you would never know. I mean, I, I, I'm just, yeah. I mean, for people that don't know, I replaced. somebody and i filmed that movie alone with zach how long did it take you to film i don't know a few weeks oh okay i'm gonna watch it tonight you haven't seen it no

You're in for a treat, our little Tiggy Tig. Are there any dongs? You think you're sexy, Mae? Yeah, if you think you're the sex pot around here, just wait until you see Tig. Are there any dongs in it, though?

um god i hope not otherwise i wouldn't have taken the job right anyways i anyway i'm not gonna get a um like a playstation because i'm or something like that because i'm worried about what Zach's talking about that it would just ruin my life I think I'd get really into it because I wasn't allowed to play video games growing up and then when I was like yeah but when I was like 16 living on my own I got a

super mario brothers and it was like oh that's why i wasn't allowed it because i think i played it for 12 months for 24 hours a day oh i see got hooked yeah and are you still into game or into video games No, I don't. Well, I don't have... I have my VR headset. Do you use that? I went through a phase because there's a Star Wars game on it that...

By the end of playing this game, it's like a four hour narrative game. You feel like you've grown as a person, like you defeat Vader, you discover that you have the force, you're in Star Wars. And so that I would recommend. Nerd alert. Too addictive a personality, I think. I played him as a kid. You did? Yeah. I only know how to play like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong and asteroids. I have that.

Multi-cade game down here in my house. Stand-up arcade game with all those on it. Well, I'll be right over. Yeah, if you're ever selling that, I will buy that for any fortune. I am not ever selling it. Someone sold it to me and I think she regretted it immediately. And do you ever play it when you're treading water? I don't ever play it, but I love that I own it. Because it's so vintage. It's so rare. And Jags didn't really want it.

in the house in this new house because it doesn't really go with anything but i was like i am not selling this thing i think it's gonna be like trucked with me wherever i go i like that I play occasionally. It's very loud because it's an old game and they just didn't have volume controls. Yes. So when you play, it's like... It didn't come with Bluetooth? It did not. You don't have to put quarters in it though.

no no quarters do you just bang it on the side like fonzie and then you just start playing baby it's right there go walk up it's got the quarter slots and so did you notice fortune just called me baby because she saw me in army of the death everything's shifted since then. Everything's changed. There's a full on vibe. Yeah. I'm scared to watch it myself. I'm scared for you too. Come give me a kiss. Come give me some sugar. As long as you're not Amelia.

Yeah, Amelia is on her way to your house right now. If she is, she better bring that video game. You said it goes everywhere you do. She's walking down the street. Pushing that thing. Pushing it in a baby stroller for some reason. Well, what a treat you guys. What a podcast really. What a podcast. What a podcast.

A pleasure as always. I think we've said everything there is to say other than what we've got going on. Well, I also want to mention to please share this episode with a friend if you want him to join the handsome community. Subscribe, rate, review. I know I say it all the time, but if you haven't, just take one second. Just one second. Subscribe. We also have a YouTube channel. Subscribe to that. Rate, review, tell a friend, share an episode.

This is an incredible community we've built and we're very thankful for it. Yeah, we want to keep it going, keep it growing. Mm-hmm. Going and growing, y'all. We want to be a grower, not a shower. That's right, Horton Marie. That's what he said. I'll be in West Hampton Beach, New York, August 17th. I'll be in Provincetown, Massachusetts, August 23rd. Dynasty Typewriter, September 21st. Beau Ravage.

Resort and Casino, Biloxi, Mississippi, September 27th. And then the road goes on forever. Go to tignotaro.com to see where I will be. I got nothing live, I think, for the next little while, but check out SAP, my special on Netflix, or just go to maymartinmusic.com for cool updates. You know I will. I know you're there every day. I'm at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival in Spokane, August 23rd. And then September, a bunch of dates.

San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Virginia, Richmond, D.C., Portland, Maine, Boston, Burlington, Vermont, Mobile, Alabama, New Orleans, and Atlanta. That's all coming up. in the next couple months. So check those out. Let's have some fun in person, y'all. Go to thehandsomepod.com for all of our wonderful, beautiful merch. And until next time, keep it handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. And please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

Like you know to check the local neighborhood trees for free fruit when it's in season. Just ask permission if you're going to go into someone's backyard. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now, this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't, because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works.

Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or No Meal. And Steph Tollev and I go head to head. on a thought-provoking game called Guess That Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds, and we probably have more fun than we should. But it's a great time, and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next We Have.

every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.