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I've had a wifey for yourself. I've had people say, Are you somebody? I go, Aren't we all somebody? Or are you somebody? Are you somebody's a crazy one? Somebody said to me the other day, no offense that you look like the comedian Tignotaro. I've had that as well. Oh my God. That's what did you say? I said no offense taken, but Tizzai. Tizzai. Oh, nice to meet you. Is there any no offense is always an offense? Something offended.
It's always an offense, don't take this the wrong way, but my brother, he's always when we're kids say something really insulting and then go, For joke. For joke. For joke. I'm teasing. My bad. That's the thing when jokes don't land. And only you thought it was funny, but the person you were joking with didn't. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. So I haven't you recently? It happens. I mean, I've made jokes that people didn't didn't get and you have to work your way out of that and explain.
Well, you're very dry. Sometimes it is hard to know if you're teasing or not. Look, I don't know if I am half the time. Yeah, you're like, I might genuinely hate the person I was going, Jack, I can't tell anymore. How are you guys as good to see you? That's a weird personality that just took over you guys. Yeah. Good to have you a new person. I'm lonely. This is all right. Yeah.
Like a Toronto, right? Yeah. And I haven't been socializing. I've just been working and I haven't seen part of him weeks and she's they take her phone away. When she's filming. So, yeah. I don't know how long has it been since you've talked to her? Almost three weeks. Yeah. Wow. How many films are kind of stuff that you have to put your phone away? Yeah. No, listen. I'm very secure. I'm in my action here. You're very hot.
Are you doing action on your show? I'm a cop. So I got to do gun stuff. I see guns and it's, but yeah, no, I killed a kid the other day. Spoiler. Yeah, stop the kid. Unrelated to the show. Maze on the run. I'm on the run. Go to Thailand. Yeah. It is, isn't it, the whole air is that all of us are in this like action. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. Whatever. Whatever that you would call. Yeah. It's so funny. Takes on a spaceship flying around. I'm in the sky and helicopters and machine guns.
And I'm a cop with a pregnant wife in a creepy town. That is wild. Are you liking how it's coming together? Yeah. Yeah. I hope so. It's so hard to tell, right? I told it. And my thing right now is like, I just, if I'm overwhelmed, I just focus on the wrong details. I come obsessed with getting the rights to this pink Floyd song. And I'm like, if I can get this song, then the whole thing will be great. And it's like, well, think about the scripts.
It is a wild feeling before something comes out after you've put your heart and soul into it. And then you don't know if everyone's going to attack you. Yeah. You're like, well, I had fun. Yeah. Yeah. We had some laughs on set. We clearly thought it was good. That's why we all came together and worked for an entire year on it. Yeah. I'm leaving Toronto as tigs coming. And you guys will be out there together. And I just, I just ran into fortune at a party the other night.
Stop it. I did. No. That's a real curve. It's going to be there. Yeah. Talk me through. You see each other across a crowded room. Does your face sort of light up? So each other right away. I came up the stairs and there was taking Stephanie sitting down and I'm like, what? What? Because they didn't know I was going to be in town. I really didn't know I was coming, coming back to town.
I got like a last minute window off. So I was like, I'm going back home and the flu in that afternoon. And then the wax isn't being sequestered. Right. Right. It's a quest. That's why it's access to our phone. But it's funny when I reposted something with TIG and I in it. And everyone's like, where's my? Why would you leave mail? And then you and I may when we did the Atlanta went to the Atlanta's concert. Everyone's like, where's TIG?
If people think we're a triad and that we're always we have to always be the three of us for sure. So yeah, it was fun though. It was good to see I hadn't seen you in person in a minute. So I don't know when I had seen you and was it probably April? You guys have met before. We have we have no joke. I'm joking. I'm joking. Yeah, we we met briefly. I was telling May that or not may fortune. I did and this is not as big of a deal as it's going to sound because I tread water. I walk every day.
But I had a fantasy because I used to do long distance cycling. 50 to 100 miles a day. That's nuts. That's nuts. Yeah. And I miss doing that. I like long endurance. Meditative. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I really like that kind of stuff. I used to cycle without listening to music and I meditate without or not meditate. I tread water without listening to music. And when I was in Atlanta months ago, I started to think like, gosh, I really miss doing those kind of endurance.
I don't even know what it is sports. I don't know. Pushing yourself to the brink. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, God, I can't really do that anymore because of my back and different stuff with my body. I feel like I'm somebody that would have been into triathlons. And I could see that. Yeah. I just not like against anybody. I don't like, I'm not very competitive. I don't know. That just isn't my thing.
But then I thought, oh, well, I can't do a triathlon because I can't run and I can't ride my bike. I can't do any of the things. Yeah. I can't do any of that. And then I thought, I looked up if you can do a triathlon like in a gym, you know. And people do it. And there are different size triathlons. Like a super sprint triathlon is the shortest triathlon. And it's like seven minutes of swimming, 30 minutes of cycling and 15 minutes of running.
And I can essentially run on an elliptical or like a stair master type thing. You can bike on a bike machine on a stationary bike. Now where are you swimming? Where are you swimming pool? In your pool. Yeah. And so, yeah. And swimming in the little mini circles. Just laps. Oh, you could build up to a real triathlon though. I could, but I've done two sprint triathlons. Oh, great. In the past couple of weeks. And it's been great. You're a champion. I feel so. And maybe that's not helping my back.
A lot of pain, but I did it. Well, we got trapped in that global shutdown. Yeah, you traveling. If there's a way to get trapped, you'll, it'll, you'll, you'll, you'll. Yeah, I'll find you. Yeah, you'll find me. And we rent a car and we drive home. And Max and Finn had never been in a car longer than a few hours. And I mean, we drove from Colorado to back to LA and canceled half of our trip. But when I got home, I was like, well, the rest of my vacation's done.
I'm going to go back to my little fantasy of doing a triathlon. And then I got started doing that. And I feel so proud of myself. We're doing it. That's amazing. Yeah. So I look like a triathlete. Yeah. I'm not strong. I'm going to start working on building my strength. I have endurance. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I do that. I do that. I do that 100 miles a day at some point. That's, yeah. And endurance. Can't do it anymore. It sounds like you have good cardio and good mental, mental form to do.
Yeah, the mental part would be tough for people. Yeah. I've been training water this week because I've been in LA. Yeah. And I always have to put on a podcast. Oh, really? Yeah. I can't do it. If I am left in my thoughts, I just keep thinking how much longer when this is. I am. I'm wondering what it's doing to my brain and psyche that I'm, because I'm living alone right now. And any time that I'm, if I'm in the bathroom, making breakfast, I'm listening to horrific true crime.
Well, it's like, I'm like, what vibrations am I putting in my body? It's like terrible tales. I'm watching a series called, like, worst roommate ever. And it's about like, I met this. You watched that. You watch fortune. It's like, I met this nice guy who's going to be my roommate and then he killed me. And I lived to tell murder. Yeah, lady. And then I went to see long legs that really scary new movie with Nicholas Cage, that serial killer. And I was like, why do we, why am I doing this?
And so I'm so stressed. It's so interesting. I had a really weird thing happen. I met my friend and I was meeting his girlfriend for the first time. She's from Taiwan. I was really excited. He talks about her so much. He's madly in love. And so I meet them and she's kind of nervous to meet me and we're going to see this movie together. And she gives me this present. She's like, I brought it all the way from China and it's like a metal bookmark and a beautiful bracelet and stuff.
And I was like, oh, thanks so much. And I was drinking a bottle of water and then we go to head into the movie and I went to throw the bottle of water in the recycling. But I just threw the bag with her present in the garbage. And I didn't know I had done it. You didn't know you did it. They were both looking at me like, what? Because it looked like I just went, oh, thanks so much. And then tossed it in the trash and walked away.
And then I was like, oh, my God, I had to dive into the trash and get it. But you did get it. I did get it. Yeah. That is hilarious. I was fished it out. She was like, it took me 80 days to make this. You're like, toss. Yeah. That would have been such a nice present for somebody to find in a dump. She has a beautiful bookmark. I picked it. Like a rat crawls out and it's wearing the necklace. Classic rat. Classic. Are you guys rat phobic? Why haven't we talked about this? Why haven't we?
I'm not a fan. Yeah. Love a rat. You love a rat. I don't know. I, you know, we, uh, thanks for taking a strong stance. We have our houses covered in ivy. Okay. And the ivy covers our windows too. Oh, God. That's a place for rats. Not all windows, but yeah, we have some critters that appear every now and then and the kiddies. We call it rat TV because they all gather around and stare. We didn't know what was happening for a while because all three would be sitting there. Staring out a window.
Yeah. There's a rodent in there. I would think ghosts for sure, but rats crawling up and down your walls, maybe. Hmm. Well, not like inside our house. Yeah. We have, we have our house rodent proofed. Yeah. I mean, for now, I guess they could don't leave the door open. That's a good idea. Yeah. Or the windows that they're, um, they would come into the windows for sure. Yeah, they would come in. They even rang the doorbell the other day and I was like, I am not falling for this.
They're rang the jewelry that they found in the garbage. They're ratatouey. Yeah. I do not like them. They really, then in Toronto, they're like dog science. Yeah. Giant rats, giant raccoons out there. Yeah. I like raccoons though. They're little kids. Yeah. Not me. You don't like a raccoon? No. Fortune. What? Why? I don't like a raccoon. You don't wouldn't, you know. They're full of diseases, aren't they? So you don't like people that have diseases? Yeah. What are you saying?
And they get into your trash and... What if, when I had cancer, I was getting into your trash, would you be like, I don't... Oh, shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. A baby gun towards you. Home insurance can feel complicated. You want to save money, but it feels like a time consuming process and you're busy. All-Stay wants to make switching and saving on your home insurance as simple and easy as possible. Make the switch today and start saving.
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English teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English teacher is now streaming on Hulu, all new Mondays on FX. I had a raccoon break into my apartment one time when I was a teenager. Like, hopefully literally? Yeah. Oh, did it have a cap or did it have burglar eye like a raccoon?
It was a raccoon. Wait, did I say rat? I meant raccoon. He said raccoon and I was just thinking they have those eyes that are like burglar eyes. Little burglar's. And they left little, like you could just follow the footprints and see exactly what it had done. And it had really just had the time of its life. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Over the raccoon coming there and make the bed. What did it do? It made the bed. Yeah, it made the bed. Or did it mess things up?
No, it went in my cupboards and yeah, left it up saying, we love raccoons. No, fortunate didn't make a mess. We love it. But we love this adorable raccoon, came in and rigged havoc. Cute. Yes. My problem is I always think there's some like spiritual significance to seeing an animal. Like I get hippie. I'm like, oh, what is rats signify? And it's like, no, they're just everywhere. Like the fact that I saw a rat is in a message from the universe. Oh my gosh. I saw the funniest clip of Mark Marins.
Tell me. He was talking, you know how his girlfriend, this is not funny, but his girlfriend died during COVID, do you know those? Not COVID related. I think she had a very rare blood disease. But the joke, the story, whatever he was talking about, it was essentially he was outside and of course, I'm going to get this all wrong.
But he was hanging out in like a little hummingbird showed up and he was talking about how when you're in a place of grief and stuff, you'll make anything magical and special. And he said, so he was sitting there looking at this bird thinking like, oh my gosh, that of course, that's Lynn. Lynn's come to visit me. It makes all the sense in the world. There she is. That's Lynn. And he was talking about how comforting it was.
And then the next day, there were like four hummingbirds and he was like, what is this? Lynn and all of her dead friends. Who is the best female? It was everyone. I thought I loved it so much. She's like, I've made friends. Yeah. These are all my dead friends. She brought three of the beetles and only two of them are. Yeah. I went to see a psychic couple of days ago that was recommended to me by Tony Colette, who was in my show, the great Tony Colette. And she was like, I have this woman.
And I don't know. I had a crazy experience. Like some of it was so specific, the stuff that she said, that I really don't know what to make of it. Some of it was not accurate. And I was like, I don't know what that means. But then some of it was really, really specific. And anyway, the point is I bought a package of four sessions. So I'm going back. And in the next thing, she wants to do past life regressions.
And she's like, if there's anyone in your life who you're curious if you have a past life connection with them, we can look into three relationships. So I immediately thought, take fortune and Thomas. What? I really want to find out. If you have a past life connection. Yeah. Three. Do tell it when you find out. I did not expect my name. I did. My name or Thomas' name to be a part of this. When I thought you were going to be like, this girlfriend, yeah, person from England.
When it comes down to it and I'm lying there, will I change my mind and not use my three precious things maybe. But I wouldn't be interested if we found out that we were all like on a pirate ship together and like 17. Yeah. We made our way back to each other. Yeah. I don't think about past lives ever. Really? Yeah. I don't either. I would be more into the psychic part of like, what does she see? But I don't think about the past as much. Yeah. I'm into it.
I feel like my energy is lousy with like other people's experiences or like past things that I don't know what they are. But what do you mean? I don't know what you mean by that, I guess. You think you have some weird past stuff with people? Or just like, or my own past experiences. You think that your past experiences are dictating your present and future? Yes. It's like I feel the remnants of like stuff that I don't understand or have an experience personally myself. Right.
Whether that's like intergenerational like family stuff or whether I was, you know, Aladdin in another life. I could see that. Aladdin on a pirate ship maybe. Yeah. Could be. Was Aladdin a real guy? May, I don't know. You're the one with the past. Yes. The fact person. I'm not sure. Do you feel like a sense of peace or something when you go to see a psychic like it? To be honest, no, it's stirred up a lot of show. I'm now I'm like, I gotta go back and talk to all these dead people.
Like I'm, I'm freaking out a little bit. But I think it will bring me, like it is reassuring to, to, for me to think that there's, you know, stuff out there that I don't understand. I haven't been to a psychic in so long. If there was a hummingbird, like say I died, a hummingbird came around, would you be like, oh my gosh, there she is. I don't think I would connect hummingbird to you, but if it was something out there. It is my favorite bird. It is?
Yes. I don't usually connect people to animals either. Oh, really? What are you saying? I'm completely grounded fortune. What if I feel like energy, you know? I'm, I'm, I'm definitely an energy person. Like I, I don't necessarily feel like my grandmother is like around me like in ghost form, but I feel the energy of like love. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. We should. Make an agreement that like, like so if I tragically die in a car accident, I would be calm down.
I can't, I'm going to carry this podcast alone. No. I'm going to come to you guys as a raccoon and that's, I'm set it here and I'll stand by. You're going to come back as a raccoon that's the one you're picking. I'm going to come visit you guys if you see a random raccoon. Or clearly made as I want to see you again, fortune. Yeah. Because I'm going to show you away. Yeah. No, get. I'm going to come back as a rat peeking in your window. Y'all are picking the animals I don't want near my house.
What would you like a mighty stag or like a, like a, a pomeranian, a pomeranian, right? What about a hummingbird? I like hummingbirds too. I would, the hummingbird I always appreciate. Definitely a pomeranian. You'd be welcomed in my house and treated like a king and queen. I was thinking recently that I should tell Stephanie that when I die, just know that if you talk to me, I hear you and that I am around. Even though I, you don't know that I promise. Believe that.
I still, if she's just telling that. If, well, because if she's sad and she's trying to talk to me and connect, I wanted to feel like I'm hearing her just know I'm always with you. I don't know if that's going to happen. You should just pre-record a bunch of recordings of you going, yes, go on. He did. Girl, girl, girl. Girl, girl. This is unrelated to what we're talking about, but I can't help but mention it.
And though my travels were interrupted, my summer break, and we got home to Los Angeles, I still hopped on a flight and went to Mr. Thomas's wedding. We have to talk about the wedding. I need to highlight. I need, we got it. If there's pictures you're comfortable sharing, Thomas on the socials. Thomas, Tom and Mary. We got sent one photo that was so stunning. He's a full blown man now. Yes, it was so beautiful. And Thomas and Laura looked just exquisite and it was so touching.
Everybody at the ceremony was so nice. But I do, I think I told fortune when I ran into her at the party, but May, you don't know this. I don't know if Thomas knows the extent, but there we go. Oh my God, what's about to happen? Here comes some more ticked travels. Tick journey. Oh my God. Tick journey happens. We were out like two hours away from Toronto and at a lake in cabins. Of course, not a lot of vegan options, not a lot of soy milk, decaf. Latte or quartados.
So I take the rental car and I drive 40 minutes to go get some food. Oh my God. To get some cauliflower. Yeah, driving out there for a carrot and then, well, guess who got a flat tire? Of course. Okay, I get a flat tire 40 minutes away. Because you ran over my grandmother visiting you as a porcupine. Absolutely. Stephanie's like, oh my God, take an Uber back. And I'm like, there are no Uber's. I can't describe where I am right now.
And so the rental car company, AAA, everybody's like, we're sending someone to come pick up the car, then we're having another car being delivered. It'll be there in an hour. This is not on the day of the wedding, right? Yes it is. Oh my God, yes it is. And the clock is ticking. Oh my God, this is like a movie. Well, guess who was stuck for four hours, not an hour, like on the side of the road? No in like some weird strip mall. Oh okay.
I was able to drive the car with a completely flat tire at like two miles an hour to this place. So any vegan food in that strip mall? Well, there was a Starbucks. Okay. I got out too. And so I'm sitting there hanging out for four hours waiting. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm going to miss the wedding for sure. I'm going to miss this wedding. And there was this app that Thomas had mentioned in an email about a local ride share.
So I had to sign up for the app and order a car which took, this is not like a car that shows up in three minutes. I mean, it was like a 20 minute wait after, you know, like the nearest car to come to me. It's like a grandmother that's just like, no, it was some guy that was so aggressive with his driving. And it was like riding on people's asses, you know, and just riding up on the bumper of the car in front of us. And that car slowing down, I'm just like, oh my gosh, I have 40 minutes to go.
Time is a tick in. And I'm thinking, am I going to get in a car accident? And this guy's like, I don't know what this guy's problem is. And it was so clear. He was half of this problem. And I get back to the cabin. And I'm like, oh my gosh, okay, I didn't have time to iron my clothes. I couldn't find an iron in the cabin. I have rented. I wet my clothes, throw them in the dryer to dry. The heat on the dryer didn't work. No. Oh my gosh. I just have soaking wet clothes.
I'm freezing cold wet clothes. And I put them back on. And I had like put my, you know, over the bath tub washed, like, rinsed my hair because I had, I was sweating. Yeah. It was so insane. And then so I, no hair dryer either, I have wet hair soaking wet clothes. And then I just know I have to get to Thomas's wedding. And I decide I'm going to run. And I know I've already said in this, I can't run. It hurts my back. I showed up to his wedding with my back in horrible pain.
And then now I'm running. And I'm like videotaping myself to send a selfie. And I'm like, I am running. It's running. I am going to get there by God. And meanwhile, in the background, my assistant was on the phone trying to navigate. I had her dealing with it because I knew that if I was going to be at the wedding, I'm not going to be able to get this car delivered to me. We had to reroute the car. So I have footage that I have not shown Thomas yet. I'm at his wedding, which is so beautiful.
The backdrop of water. Did I show it to you, unfortunately? Yeah, it's so funny. It looks like some out of a movie. Oh my gosh. Oh, a jet-op of Tom Movie yet. Okay, I'm filming Thomas and Laura exchanging vows. And in the distance, there is a drive that goes over the lake. And you see a huge tow truck carrying my new car coming down in the background. Oh my God. And I don't think Thomas, you didn't see this, the name. You're not a paved road.
So it's like, no, it was a gravel road, kicking dirt up. So I'm filming Thomas and I'm like, all terri-eyed. And then I hear this, and the background. And I turn around and I capture that. And then I turn back and continue. Oh my God. It's very funny. Oh my God, it was quite an ordeal. But the car got delivered there. I made it to the wedding. And it was so beautiful. Did you know that a cotton pillowcase could be disrupting your sleep? That's right.
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I'm just picturing you soaking wet sprinting into and everybody's there sipping their champagne and you know, I mean, truly, it was so and so and halfway in my run, this school bus is pulling up, which I remembered hearing somebody say that the shuttle for the wedding is going
to be a school bus and I see a school bus driving and I jump in front of the school bus and I flag them down and they and I was like, can I get in there and they're like, yeah, and that was the people being shuttled to the wedding. Oh, I get on and I was like, oh my god, everybody's sitting in the school bus. I go, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I'm soaking wet and they're like, I know it's so hot out and I go, no, no, no, no, no, I don't even know where to begin to tell you.
I've been stranded for four hours, 40 minutes away. I'm all the way through my clothes and the dryer. There was no heat in the dryer. I'm soaking wet because of the dryer and my hair, there was no dryer, hair dryer and I've been running down a dirt road. So I wish it was it ended up being a school bus full of random kids and you're like, I would have gone on. I'm sorry, can I get in there? Why would I have gone on? I can't. I would have definitely taken you to the wedding.
For sure, it would have been like my detox, like they would have all got behind you. I'm telling you, you're like, you look at your game. Yeah. I got there minutes before. Minutes before. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I mean, was it a very happy, it would be crazy if you said no, that it wasn't happy that, but did you say I got no emotional and was it? I was pretty emotional, yeah, it was amazing. I mean, I'm still processing it. It was incredible.
I mean, it was everything we wanted to be and so special and to just be surrounded by so many loving people from our lives was amazing and to have TIG there was so special. And it was such a... I have a picture of TIG in the wedding. Oh, the short, cute. TIGs and shorts and flip flops. Yeah, I love it. You were short and flip flops? I had to because... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Wait a second. I absolutely, that was my choice. I had to do this. That's a football.
Because I knew I had to run and the shoes that I had that were, I was supposed to wear were nice shoes. Yeah. The pant, it was so hot out. That's so amazing. But yeah, it was so beautiful, it was such a small wedding and I felt terrible because Stephanie and Max and Finn didn't come because of our travel disaster. I was like, I'll just go and I'm with hilarious because Max was like, we're not going. And I said, no, it's just been too crazy.
You guys just need to be home and he was like, that sucks. Delta's ruined everything. Yeah, yeah. Did you go swimming in the lake and stuff after? No. No. You're like, good night. My back hurt. But anyway, I just had to share that and it truly was so, so beautiful, so beautiful. Oh, that's so cool. Congrats. Congrats Thomas. Thanks guys. And then as I was leaving Thomas as the gentleman that he is, he was like, let me walk you to your car and I was like, this is your wedding.
You don't have to walk into my car. And then I said, my goodbyes and I burst into hysterical tears. Oh, anyway, everything was perfect. Why did I invite Tick? Don't invite me anywhere. There's going to be some disaster that happens. Not with the travel involved. I think it's just, yeah, if I invited you somewhere, I just wouldn't let you leave the location once you're there. It's like, don't let her think she's going to get a carrot. Don't tell her there's carrots 40 minutes away.
I should be, I should start working on shows where I'm quarantined or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It's a question and one's a cluster. I mean, I can you imagine you on that show amazing race, which is all about just the luck of travel? I would do well. I would do well. You know where these crazy things, but you would be entertaining to watch you deal with all the hiccups though. Yeah, all the canceled flights. I make it through though.
Sometimes I'm righteous, sometimes with broken wrists and stuff, but you know, you roll into your destination. I make it happen in shorts and flip flops. Yeah, if life was a sitcom, it would be any time you enter a scene, it would be like, sorry, I'm like, I was just saying, I'm going to have a different cast on a different part. I just love that you were like, my original flight got canceled. I drove across country, flew to Toronto.
Yeah. I had to get vegan food, got a flat tire, waited four hours, got almost an hour. I was like, close wet, dryered at work and made like, you were shorts. Fortunately, I'm impressed. You recalled all of that in the exact order. That's incredible. Yeah. Should we get to our guest? Let's do it. Let's do it.
Today's questioner is a comedian, writer and TV host who hosted We Can Update on SNL for eight seasons and from there he became the host of late night on NBC, which he's been hosting since 2014. Our questioner of today is the lovely Seth Meyers. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, handsome. This is Seth Meyers and my question is this, when was the first time you needed a passport to travel and when you got that passport, were you of the age where you had to do it all?
You had to go get a picture taken and you had to go to a proper passport office in a government building or were you so little that someone else, an adult took a little picture of you and you didn't have to do any of the waiting in line. Fill me in. I mean, if I have been asked this question, it feels like it will be so nice. It feels like a niche passion of his. Almost like. Yeah. He's someone who comes from a family who probably traveled early on. What based on what place? I don't know.
He and his brother are really tight and they do a lot of stuff together and they seem tight with their parents. They just seem like a little unit that just kind of like, adventure together. I could picture him at sort of eight years old in a suit at the airport. A seer sucker. Guys, speaking of travel disasters, I just realized I was on a travel disaster with Seth once. Oh, really? Yes. Yes. We were going to do a gig together and I don't remember what happened. I feel like he's better at the...
There was like a weather situation and the show got canceled and then we had to go back and then I think I can't remember. Terrible story. Keep that in, Thomas. Keep it in. Keep it in. Keep it in. Keep it in. Keep it in. Keep it in. Keep it in. How would you not get that? Yeah. I didn't. They flew me out 2009 and 2010 and I auditioned on stage with that, everyone in the background with the lights that old Broadway kind of vibe.
And the side was the head writer and I was in the audience in the decision. No, I mean, I think they weigh in and ultimately the decision is born. My feedback at the time was that everybody wanted me and Lauren was on the fence. Oh my God. I thought Chevy Chase made all the decisions. Oh, yeah. But yeah, but he was so nice during that whole crazy, very intense scene. Were you nervous? Oh, so nervous. Oh, man. What did that look like?
Well, because it was early on in my career, I started the comedy in 2005, stand up in 2007. So this is 2009. I'm pretty green. And I grew up watching SNL. It was like my beacon of comedy of like I was obsessed with it, learn the sketches. So and I had to tie just on my first manager, like two weeks before I got this audition. I felt my whole career was riding on there, yes or no. And if I got to know that was it, pack it up, we go home. So I put a lot of weight on it.
Then now I know it's, you know, it would have been cool, but it obviously does not make a break a career. You didn't know handsome was coming. I did not know that was my future. I was like it kept told me yeah. Did you meet him then or earlier? That was the first time I met him, yeah. Okay. I really want to meet him. One of the, like a handful of people where I'm like, I think we'd get along. But that's probably his skill is like a late night host.
Everyone feels like they're friends with him, but he's genuinely nice. Yeah. So you would for sure get along. I feel like he always has such great political angles on his show. Yeah. I feel like it's always really well done. Yeah. Yeah. And good vibes. Yeah. And I like those segments he does day drinking with, he did one day drinking with Rihanna where they got really drunk in the day and the combination of their two energies was pretty on a pretty electric. It was great.
Passports. Yeah. Is he saying like the first one ever? Yeah. I think my family traveled a lot. My dad was like a food writer. So there was when we were when I was three, they put all our stuff in storage and we went on like this trip to because he was reviewing all these for how long hotel six months. We were on the road. We drove all through Europe. You put all your stuff in storage like sold your house type thing? I don't think they owned the house. So yeah, they could. Oh, oh, I see.
Yeah, I see. We were just renting. They put everything in storage and then I was three. My brother was seven and we took six months out of. Do you remember it? Yeah, but maybe that's because there's tons of pictures, but I feel like I vividly remember it. Yeah. Remember them reading Narnia to us in the car and I remember one time we missed a ferry.
We took moment, missed the ferry, there was some like fluke thing and I remember how Matt that they weren't speaking to each other, but they were speaking to us. So they were like relaying messages to each other in a tiny car. It was fun. Tell your father your mother. Yeah. Yeah. She just missed a turn. Yeah, seriously. Oh, my gosh. But yeah, so I think I had a passport. I really thought young, yeah.
Yeah. I feel like in his story, we're going to find out why this question is important to him because I'm like, is there some experience of going as an adult and lining up? Well, he does. We didn't mention this in the intro, but he does have a podcast about travel like road trips. Stephanie and I have talked about potentially when Max and Finner and Junior High packing up and traveling with them for like a year. Why?
I was talking about something similar as a fantasy because it's like middle school is so fucking hard. And those years, why not? Like you'd learn so much about it. Get them out of there. Like you guys want to be in school, right? When we can teach you. Yeah. It's fun.
Yeah. I mean, who knows what'll be going on in our lives at that time, but it's really a fantasy of mine to pack up, travel, you know, maybe go out for a month, come home for a month, out for a month, home for a month, because of course we'd miss Kitty City. Oh, yeah. Of course, yeah. Yeah. But and then if that went well, the dream would be two years. And then, while done with Junior High and boom, off to high school, you go.
Well, you know, where you kind of have, I think, things a little more together when you get to high school. It would be cool to do that with a kind of a pod, like another family or another couple of families so that they have like, friends, their age still, but you're still as a friend. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. At least you'll have each other. I lived in Spain for a year by myself. It didn't get lonely. Oh, God. But you went, you had some, you met some people. I love the Spain story so much.
I met some people, but it wouldn't be the same as having a wife and kids with you, you know? Yeah. I do have, it's weird that passports. You got, what is it? Every 10 years you renew them, right? But you have these weird little snapshots. Just not my name. Oh, did you? It's so weird when a baby has a passport and then what, it lasts for 10 years to like 10. It's like the updated picture. Yeah. Yeah. My family did not travel. My mom traveled a lot when she was younger overseas.
My family, we did not have much money. So there was no trips being taken overseas. Our big vacations were like, if we drove to Florida in a minivan to go to Disney World or a Myrtle Beach was a big hub hub or the beach in North Carolina. My first overseas trip was in college. I went to Mexico twice, two summers in a row to the Yucatan to study the Mayan ruins. Whoa. I know. It was so into history. I knew you were a historian archaeologist.
I really thought at the time that I had there was an amazing anthropology professor at my college who did this trip and I was like, do I want to become an anthropologist? Yeah. Then I was like, I don't think that there's much money in that. Did you do an anthropology? So the business side of me was like, eh, but I loved it. I went to like all these Mayan ruins and studied the culture and the language. It was very neat. We lived in a house right there in the middle of the Yucatan.
But at the time, I don't know if this is still the case, you didn't have to have a passport. You could just take your birth certificate to the airport. Oh, real? And so I didn't get a passport. I took my birth certificate both summers. So I didn't get a passport until I moved to Spain right after I graduated college and I went to the AAA and got my picture taken. It was, I was so excited. And I remember my goal was like, this was my first passport. I was moving to Spain.
I was going to travel all over Europe. I was so pumped every time I got a new stamp in the country and I would go through the passport looking at all the stamps that I was getting. I thought it was the coolest thing. That is pretty fucking cool. Yeah. I still love getting a stamp in there. God, I got a stamp. It's actually a stamp because their programs that are all computerized. It's not not everywhere, but some of the places don't stamp now and you're like, I don't want to stamp.
Yeah, stamp me. Did I tell you that I one time was booking a trip for me and my girlfriend at the time and then so I needed her passport details to book the flights online and I opened her passport and she'd lied about her age by three years to me for a half or down. Yeah, she's always down. She said she was younger than she was. Yeah. Oh, you thought you were a teenager by accident. What did you do with that information? I eventually set a cab booked this trip but also, hey, also your liar.
Yeah. That would be weird to find that. It should have been a red flag early on. Like one year maybe. Yeah. One year is even weird. It's weird. I mean, I can't when I picture myself telling Stephanie that I am an idiot. An age that I am not. It's strange. It's so strange that it's correct. It is strange. When my grandma died, it turned out that she'd lied.
She was still a practicing agent, like an agent working and she'd lied to all her clients because they wouldn't have wanted a 90 year old agent. So she thought she was like 80. I get you a jab. That's better. Yeah. Have an 80 year old agent understand. Yeah. And all fairness, most people don't want a 90 year old agent. An 80 year old agent. I mean, 80? Yeah. Look, you could be the president of the United States. And I don't want to like make any people feel bad. All of our 90 year old listeners.
Of which there are many. So many. An 80 year old. I mean, that's our sweet spot. The 80 to 90 year olds. Yeah. I feel like anyone pushing. Yeah. Anyone pushing 80 should be retiring. Or retired or long retired. Really? I mean, as an agent or just a person. As a person, like they should be able to enjoy life and not be. But what if you're enjoying life doing what you do? Yeah. What if they really loved her? She loved her job. And she still used to type writers. And type.
She had like an assistant who would transcribe and do you know? She had an assistant that had a beaper, a pageer. A paper, yeah, yeah. She was with the time. She was so full. Yeah. That is so deeply funny. A 90 year old agent with a typewriter. She was really good at her job. Dear client. Yes. You have an audition. Yeah. Please write back and let me know if you will be able to make it. The caretaker will bring message to you. Can you please return via caretaker. By the full spring time.
Her assistant was, I should look her up. She was this hilarious woman who, I guess when I was about six, she must have been in her forties this woman. And I remember going to my grandma's office and I would just hang out with Lucy who was in her forties. And we came up with this game that was like, if you drink some of the food. She said she was 40. Yeah. Who knows? She came up with 43. But if you, or we said if you drink this potion, you have to do a dare that the other one gives you.
And this is like, we would cry laughing. And I was six and she was 40. We were like best buds. And I give her a dare and I said go into my grandma's office where my grandma was quite buttoned up. She's got clients in there. I'm like, get on the floor and do Swan Lake, like ballet. And she went and did it. She was. That's great. That's happening. Yeah. And she was almost like a kind of jackass style prank. But what do you think your grandmother's reaction was? She laughed.
Yeah. I was about to say, you do amuse me. Oh, now that is funny. With a British accent. Let me make a note of that. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, that is funny. Do you remember the first time you got a passport tag? I do. I remember it quite well. Oh, really? I was 29. Whoa. Yeah. Okay, later on.
Yeah. I didn't leave the country aside from Canada, I guess, in Mexico. And yeah, it was the days that I was an assistant at the production company that did the show, Zina. Oh my God. Yeah. And Zina is filmed in New Zealand. New Zealand? Yeah. That is right. And so when the show was ending, I went out there with my friend Andy, who worked at the company and the two of us went out to Auckland for the very set. I can't even remember if we visited set, maybe we did, but we traveled all over.
And, but yeah, that was, that was my first time to get a passport. And I just loved New Zealand. Have you been there? Never. That's so. Queenstown might be one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Really? Really? I didn't make it to the South Island, was only in the North Island. It's like you feel like you're on another planet. That's how the whole country is. Yeah. I got to go. You know, there's no snakes in New Zealand. I like that. Yeah, yeah. But very steep.
The steepest road on Earth is there. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. May fact, Auckland's like kind of a city city. It's pretty, but like some of those islands and some of the places beyond outside of the city is just like breathtaking and it feels very safe and very clean and very, it's just like magical. Yes. We need to, I can't believe our, that you know Lucy Lawless and like the proximity to Zina at the time. It was so huge for me. I just, we got to make good on that.
We got to get Lucy Lawless. Got to make good on that. And I told you she was at my wedding in Mississippi. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. That's crazy. Zina warrior princess in small town, Mississippi. Yeah. Oh my God. And is she, is she very tall? She's 5'10". Yeah, that's my height. Amazonian warrior princess. How I am often described. And they, they hired you know, Renee O'Connor, who played her sidekick on the show.
She's very short and that was just to kind of accentuate the size difference between them. I mean, there must be a lot of fanfiction out there about those two. Oh my gosh. Yes indeed. In my brain. When I was a kid. Anyway, should we, should we hear what Seth has to say? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. My answer to that question is I was hired by an American comedy theater called Boob Chicago. In Amsterdam, I had finished college. I'd never traveled anywhere where I needed a passport.
And I wish I still had it. After it was defunct, so 10 years after I got it, I lost the old one and I wish I still had it because I would thumb through it and I would look at all those old stamps and I would think to myself, ah, the carefree days of my youth before children. And I just jet set around like that and look how young I looked. Look at that young man's face. Anyway, save your passports and save your passports. Yeah. Travel the world.
Yeah. His voice there at the end sounded like maybe he was friends with your grandmother. Mm hmm. Travel the world. Yeah. Click click click. Travel the world. Yeah. Save the passport. Save the passport. I am glad I did that. I am glad. I couldn't do it now. There's, I have two responsibilities, but I'm so happy that I. Took a year to just live abroad, travel beyond trains, live in hostels. I had no money.
I was so broke and it was such an eye opening, like, cool, like a small town girl who had never really seen that kind of thing. It really was significant. Mm hmm. I'm amazed that you haven't started singing journey. I was waiting for it. Just a small town girl. There we go. There we go. Living in a Spaniard world. I know. I know. I know. Spaniard means Spain and Spanish. Oh, thank you, fortune. Welcome. So fluent. Are you fluent? No. Did you say that in Spanish? No. No. No. Yo, oblo, umpoco.
They are Spanish. I did alright. 21 years ago. When I was there, I could get by. But in Spain, that's very difficult. They speak very fast and with their tongue, everything's like, gracias. Somalapinia. What's that? That was for us. That was for us too. I cannot understand how word you are saying. I cannot understand. You are saying. So it's a place you spent the most time. In Sevilla's where I live, um, Sevilla, but but but.
And then I went on four different excursions where I traveled Europe for two weeks on trains. Yeah. I love it. All of Western Europe, not Eastern Europe. Were you hopping trains? Hopping trains, standing hop without a ticket? Were you like, I'm a real follower. I hadn't taken it. I had a URL pass. Oh, okay. Yeah. You were trying to pay the more money as you got on. That's right. That's right. It was broke every day. You were broke because you were just throwing your cash all around.
Sleeping in a hostel like 16 people in the room. Oh my god. And you don't like rats. That sounds like a worse nightmare to me having 16 people in the room. You'd rather have 16 rats. It's not one rat. I'd take a rat and a raccoon over 16 people in a row. It's not ideal. I did stay in a hostel in Barcelona. I only had a short time in the city and I was so excited to explore. And then I got so drunk the first night with my friend that we were violently ill.
And the next day we spent the whole day in the dark in the hostel in the like shared living space with like six guys from Argentina just watching Fight Club. And you said everything that stays in Barcelona, have the Barcelona. I know this thing. I remember the saying goes. So many people print that on a bumper sticker. That's the Vegas thing. I think it's the most I want to talk about. It's very catchy fortune. The first thing. No one's through the fight.
Anyone that fights in Barcelona stays in Vegas. I was calling Vegas as a sketch. Fight Club has a catchphrase. The first rule of Fight Club, don't talk about Fight Club. Don't talk about Fight Club. Thank you, May. It also has this part where they're in the rules for years. There's a guy in the movie. I think Meatloaf plays a character who dies in the movie called like Robert Palmer or something. They're like, remember Robert Palmer. So I had that.
And then me and my friend bought a cauliflower and we were going, remember cauliflower. I just thought it was great. We should have a segment where we share inside jokes. Do not work out. We only live in our zone. Oh my god. We're like, oh my god, when I was in seventh grade, my friend and I used to be like, pretty. Anyway, it's a long story. It's a long story, I had to put it in. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. Well, thank you to Seth Meyers. And thank you.
Yeah. Yeah. I hope to meet you one day. Was that needy? No, it's great. I'm sure you'll do a show at some point. It's great. Okay, don't forget to go to Hansenpod.com to check out our merch. We have some great merch, some really fun shirts and a sweatshirt and a pride bag and a mug. We got coffee, we got stickers and they have all pens, socks. I mean, you can get your whole wardrobe except for pants and ponties at her merch. That's right. That is right, fortune. Thank you for pointing that out.
Tag us in your post. We love seeing it on our social media. It's always cool to see out in the wild. I also wanted to say that this weekend is the creative arts Emmys when Stephanie will find out if she wins. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. Cross and toes and fingers. Yes, please. Cross it all. And then also, yeah, check out my special. Hello again. That's Stephanie directed. And then go to Tignotaro.com for my sporadic shows in Los Angeles and Toronto. And everywhere in between.
Very sporadic these days. But come on out. Thanks for listening. Like and subscribe. Yeah. And closing. Keep it in handsome. Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at HandsomePod at gmail.com. And please follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What? What? Touchdown. What? Touchdown. What? Touchdown. We're gonna touchdown. What? Touchdown. Touchdown. What? Touchdown. What? Touchdown.
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