Pretty Little Episode #92

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Hey, it's your friend Tigno Taro on the pretty little episode of Handsome, and I'm sitting here With Fortune Beamster. How are you, Fortune? Yeah. Why is that? Oh my god. What happened there? I love a Costco trip. Okay. What'd you get? I went to get a television, um, because I'm still figuring out my house. Um and I in I ended up moving one of the guest rooms and my office. I switched them.

And now that I've switched'em, I wasn't gonna get a T V in that guest room, but now it's a bigger room and I'm like, I think it needs a T V. Mm. Here's this is gonna surprise ya. I didn't know Costco sold T V, so I thought it was just like bulk food. They sell everything and honestly their TVs are a very good deal. I got this I got this T V fifty five inch um Sony which is now T C L I think um three hundred T C L

It's now what was Sony is now t is now TCL. It's just the same. It's like Oh, it's a company? Yeah. Oh okay. But Three hundred bucks. Great TV. Come on now. That's then while I was there I picked up um some smart water. And uh water um But instead I'm not good at flossing, so I got a water pick, you know what I'm talking about? Of course I do. And you're not good meaning when you floss there's still chunks of beef in there or like you're not good uh to remember.

to remember. So I'm hoping I'm hoping to put this in my routine now. Brush my teeth, water pick. Wait, not your stand-up routine, said No. Okay. So my my teeth routine. Okay. Your dental routine. That's right. I was just gonna ask, did you just recently visit the dentist? And they were like, Man, you got to get on this.

Every time I no, I didn't recently go, but they have every time I've gone told me you have to floss. So I just w saw it and remembered. And then I also got some sunscreen. I mean it's really a one stop shop. Yeah, okay. And the three hundred dollar T V, what would that be if you were not shopping at Costco? Um, maybe somewhere else might be five hundred. Okay, so you almost could buy a whole other T V.

Yeah. Four fifty, something like that. It's you know, it just depends on where you get it. And then they have wall mounts for the television for like sixty bucks. And then if you go to somewhere else, they don't have as many selections and theirs are like one twenty and up. Yeah. Mm. I mean I'm not sponsored by Costco. I'm just telling you I went there. And then how many TVs do you have in your house? Um this makes three. Okay. All right.

Do you have one of those little tiny ones in the kitchen like how they used to have like in childhood? Those are so funny. I don't know.'Cause I don't The my den and kitchen are kinda all in one thing. So I don't if to have a extra little mini TV would be weird. I also... don't cook enough for to like be I feel like those were for the moms that were like cooking for long periods of time that you Needed it and dad, sure. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And then and then um are you somebody that likes a TV in your bathtub? No, I don't have one in my bathroom. There's not anywhere to put it. My bathroom's very Well when you come over s you'll see there's not there's nowhere to hang anything. Well I know sometimes people have'em like in the wall. You know? I'm n I like a T V but I don't need it in all the all these random places.

'Cause I was I'm always am or um fascinated, not amused, fascinated by people that have a T V or like when you're in a hotel room and they have a T V uh in the tub. Yeah, it's just uh Interesting. Like I I I I was hoping to pick your brain about it, like That feels very old school though. I don't think people are putting TVs Bathrooms i in modern times, I don't think. Modern meaning the past five to ten years. Like fifteen. Uh okay. Fifteen to twenty. Okay. Yeah.

A lot of those TVs are old school. But I have to say I like this configuration a lot better. Of your house? Like how you moved rooms? Yeah, because I I had chosen the bigger I have another guest room on the other side, and this was a guest room and Lie. I was like, Well, I'm always in my office. I'm gonna use the bigger room for my office and the small room can be the second guest room'cause I never have anyone over.

But then they were like the guys that were helping me with decor were like, Mm, you should switch these and now that I'm in here, this way makes way more sense. Even my video game looks way better in here. Because it's more of a square than a rectangle. Okay. And the sound is better. Before on the pod it was a little echoey and I can tell that the smaller room's better for pot potting.

Okay, and then you said you had guys helping you with decor. Does that mean you hired um designers or were there guys who were like, We gotta help this lesbian with decor? They are gay guys. I figured. I just picked him up on the street and said, You guys probably have taste, right? Somebody help. So somebody helped. Um they're they're designers, yeah. I'm I'm getting my house looking um nice. Oh good. That's fun. Well, congrats to you. Thank you. And thank you, um Costco. All right.

Not a commercial. It's not a Here for the what? Snack! Okay. Why are you showing me that? 'Cause you can get snacks at Costco. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Full circle baby. Shall we get to our question? Sub Pop Records There you go. I'm performing in Washington State and Um Subpop is from Seattle. So I'm gonna Yeah, I'm in Bellingham, Washington, so I'm gonna walk out and be like, Dio, what's up? Sub Pop Yeah. Any hoodles. I was here last night, but last night's audience doesn't get the sub pop t shirt.

You know what they did get? The Nashville Comedy Festival t shirt. that I love. Okay. Yeah, let's get to it. Okay.

Hi Fortune, May and Tig. This is Taryn, calling from Amsterdam. Do you have a Pavlovian reaction? If yes, what are the two things that got linked in your brain and what happens when one of them shows up? That's so interesting. So basically like is there something in our life that when it happens it Creates a certain reaction. Yeah. Hm interesting. Yeah, it's really interesting. I've never even thought about this. That's why it's interesting. That's true. Yeah. Um, God, yeah, I let me think.

I mean, maybe it's not just like a memory, right? I don't think so. I think it's like an action. I can give an example. Like whenever I hear the HBO like static sound of like Yeah. I hear the curb your enthusiasm. No matter what show I'm watching, I always hear the curb your enthusiasm like 'Cause I watch so much curvier enthusiasm. So they're like Linked. Well, anytime I someone mentions crab ragoons, I get hungry. I mean, does that count?

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance, not checking that I brought my credit card before walking over to the coffee shop. My mistake. I wanted to get a decaf latte, but now I've got no way to pay. Maybe they'll let me start a tab. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability, Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. There's never a time that I don't want a crab rang in. So if someone brings it up, I'm then my brain wants it. Mm-hmm. Oh my I um I don't know if this counts, but my mom's always trying to get me to sing more on stage. And any time she does I uh tr I it like gives me anxiety and I try to change the conversation. Ha ha ha.

Is that linked to something long ago or it's just that I just don't wanna So is that Pavlovian? I don't know. Gives me anxiety. I I mean I guess it would be more like if my s palms would were to get sweaty or something like physical happened. I don't know what to tell you. I mean look, I Ha ha ha. Is that Pavlovian, Thomas? What Fortune saying? You're saying you kinda get anxious every time?

I I think that could kind of work. It it'd be more like if like every time you saw your mom you got anxious because you knew she was gonna like No. Yeah, I think I mean I cannot pretend like my mother Did not party. Okay? I cannot Don't pretend. I'm not going to be able to do that. Okay. Whether it was like people that live near us or uh people in town visiting, it was just like

all nighter kind of situation. Yeah. And sometimes when I hear like whether it's silverware really late at night or like a a beer opening or wine opening, I'm like, oh gosh, is this gonna be an all night situation? And it could just be somebody grabbing a a a spoon for some soup and opening a waterloo. You know what I mean? Yeah. Is that Pavlovian? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I I just uh I think kitchen noises late at night Or even TV late or music late, but I don't really hear that.

too much, but we've had people that have stayed with us and like we're totally once Max and Finn go to bed, we go to bed. And sometimes people will stay with us and they'll be up later and I hear the TV and uh or I hear music or clanking around in the kitchen. I'm like, oh boy, it's gonna be a night. You know. Mm. And then it's not And Uh Ha ha ha. Uh uh. Do they have an answer? In Amsterdam? Mm-mm.

I accidentally paved myself by spending weeks pulling weeds, always while listening to the handsome pods. So now whenever I walk into my garden I hear it say Hello. Hello. My brain is like, Hey ghost. I love you guys so much, consciously and evidently subconsciously as well. What a plan. Podcast. Thank you, Taryn. What a question. Right. What else we got?

Hey handsome. My name's Dot. I'm uh Talking to you from Tacoma, Washington. And thought of a question while out to a drink with a friend today, which was, um, What were your guys' first cars? And is there any like nostalgic story behind it? Uh how you lost it, how you got it, what you loved about it, etc. Yeah. My first car was my mother's car. Well, first of all, Dot. That's my niece's name, little baby Dottie. But um my first car was my mother's car.

And I believe for a while my brother and I shared it with my mother and then maybe she got a new car. I think that's what happened. And then she gave the car to me and my brother to share, which was tough, you know, to share. Yeah. We yeah. But In the olden days of the eighties the When a metal key would go into a car to start it? Yeah.

Chevy Malib Chevrolet Malibu. Mm-hmm. And um yeah. And um When she would put the metal key in and turn the uh key, start the ignition, her favorite little prank to do was For some reason the key got run down. Or something where you could pull the key out of the ignition while you were driving and she would so she'd be in the car with me and my friends, we'd be driving, she'd pull the key out and then she'd hand it back to my friends in the back seat and they'd be like

It obviously didn't stop the car from going, but that was so not anything I'd ever seen another car do. But um the Chevy Malibu key that we had got I think it just was worn down or s I don't know what happened. I would think that the car wouldn't be able to work with the Well, it could because it was already turned. It was turned into place. Yeah. And then you could slide it out but never s that wasn't

That wasn't anything that the car came with. It just was a weird glitch that happened over time and she loved to do that to um rattle her um Her guess. In the car. That would rattle me if s if someone pulled a key out. I would not think that that would be okay. Yeah. Well, that was that was my first car. It was a Chevy Malibu and the key came out and then you just pass it around the car. I love it. My first car was this really janky BMW. Oh

It sounds fancy, um, but it was not fancy. It was uh from a neighbor. It my brother bought it for like eighteen hundred bucks. Um, it did not w work very well. And in fact, by the time it was uh ready for m me to drive. I don't know why he didn't end up driving it. I think'cause it broke down a lot. Um it just sat in our driveway and I turned sixteen.

And we couldn't afford to get me a car. Um, and so I was just like, the only car was option was this BMW. Um, it was like if in from the eighties, early eighties, and this was like ninety-six. And uh a friend of my mom's um tried to like stitch it together, but it took a month. So uh about maybe eight months into turning sixteen it finally started working, but it was a stick shift.

And I didn't know how to drive a stick shift, but I was so antsy to drive that I just like started driving it and was like completely stalling everywhere and Just had no clue what I was doing. But this car was such a hunk of junk. It like when it rained the water came through the sunroof and just dirty rainwater poured all over me and sat in the floorboard. It

like the the um it would stall constantly in the middle of intersections. I had to like pull the emergency brake up to come to a stop without changing gears so that it wouldn't shut off. I mean this car was so wildly dangerous. I can't believe But But... But... But... It's a BMW. That's all. Ha ha. It was such a piece of shit. But it lasted me till my senior year of college and then just dead. Dead as a doornail. There was no bringing it. There it is now. I don't know, rest in peace.

Really in that car. And then I remember when my grandmother died, the the whole board, uh, electric board died and so I couldn't roll down the windows and I couldn't um play the um the music and I couldn't run the air conditioning and I was so miserable. I had to drive three hours to go home for her funeral and just was in agony. And that's all the outside world saw, so That's right. Yeah, yeah. Um does Dot have uh anything to say about her car?

Uh my answer is I had a Honda CRV that I got from my mom, and his name was Newbie, and he was beautiful, and uh he got totaled by some construction next to my house in college, which was very sad. But now I have a little Honda Fit and I love her so much. All right, can't wait to hear. Thanks. Bye. Thanks, Dot, Yeah. That was delightful, said That was delightful.

It's like every now and then I'll I'll have this wave of like, we're gonna run out of questions. People are gonna run out of questions to ask and then sure enough They come up with new stuff, even to the point where we're like, is this a Pavlovian response? Ha ha. I have to say a lot of times it's our listeners that have the best questions.

They do have some interesting questions. I find that when I ask people for questions for the pod, they're always like, I don't know what to ask. And I'm like, you can literally ask anything you want. Yeah, yeah. All right then. Uh submit your questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod. Uh if you would like to come see me on tour, please do. I'm hitting minor markets right now, but I will be adding major markets in more cities. Go to Tignotaro.com.

Yeah, I am uh in currently uh on my European tour. So if any of you folks in Europe uh wanna come check out a show, let's see, where would I be currently? I would be uh Stockholm, Sweden tonight, Oslo, Norway, Sunday, Copenhagen, uh London on uh june third and then ending in Dublin. Um so yeah, come on out for one of those shows, my European friends. Until next time. Pretty. Yeah. Pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us at hansome.com. At gmail.com. Follow us on social media at Handsome Pod. What a podcast. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a headgum podcast. Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I correctly displayed my new abstract painting when I hung it on the wall.

Oh dear. My friend who majored in art history just pointed out that it's upside down, and now I'm a little embarrassed. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, North Brooklyn.