Pretty Little Episode #87

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Pretty little episode. Yeah, it's your friend Tignotaro on a very pretty little episode with my co-host. May, Pearl, Mark. Mm-hmm. May, where in the world are you? Well, I'm here in Poughkeepsie, New York. Okay. Which I I called like puff kipsy until this morning and someone corrected me. That's how you would pronounce it when I looked at it. No, I almost got I got in big trouble last night. I said Concord instead of Concord. Oh yes, yeah. How are you?

Well, I'm doing much better than you. I haven't gone through nearly the drama you have. Um but the t the tour's going well, huh? Tour's going really well. You were scared you weren't selling tickets. You're I know. You're you're selling, right? Well, except for Vegas. I'm not selling in Vegas.

No, so if anyone's in Vegas I'm doing two shows for some reason and and neither of them are selling very well. But the rest of the tour's been crazy. Yeah, like i in Concord yesterday there's like twelve hundred people. I'm like, where'd these people come from? Oh at your show. Yeah. It was great. Yeah. And uh I'm surprised about Vegas considering there's a lot of people with kinks in in Vegas. Oh Of course I'm the King of King. Yes, of course.

You would think that that would be, you know, immediately sold out shows. It's funny, like the aspects of my personality that get magnified by this podcast or whatever, that means like Yeah.

The people at my shows are like, Thank you for speaking out for the tarot card community. For like the like I've got like I've it's like ter tarot readers, the BDSM community, like all these and I'm like, I guess that's Sometimes I just have a normal diet too, you know And wait, why has the tarot card um community needed somebody to speak out? Well, apparently, um you know, it's a it's a it's a an ancient art form that needs representation and to stay in modern discourse. Mm. I suppose.

Okay. Oh my god. Well, go ahead. Oh sorry. Um I just I thought you'd enjoy this. I had an experience the other day. So I was in Boston. Never been to Boston. Okay. Loved it. And uh I'm walking by this park and I was feeling really like like miserable and whiny. Like I was just I all I keep thinking is like oh I'm tired, I'm tired. And then something called me into this shop, like an antique shop that was like from a children's movie, like really spooky. And I go in and this woman's like

First time in Boston, she pokes her head up and she's uh she goes, I'm a hundred and two. She was a hundred and two years old. Yes, and she starts telling me. How did she know it was your first time in Boston? 'Cause she's uh truly a witch, I think. And she Tells me her life story. She's written this book. Where is it?

Sh her and her sister were a double act in Hollywood in the golden era of Hollywood and she starts singing this song, Hickory Sisters, Hickory Sisters, Hickory. It was crazy. And then she she kissed me on my cheek. Without you asking to hear it. I didn't ask for any of this. And she owns the store. The store's been there a hundred and thirty years. It was her father's store. She took it over with her sister in the nineteen seventies when they got back from Hollywood. And she was

So alive, so with it, so smart. She's talking about AI. She was saying like Uh I bought a crystal of course and she said as I was leaving she took my hand and she went, The world is a spider web of energy and you can control it. And then kiss my hand. I was like, I am in heaven. Oh my gosh. What is the name of the store so we can keep it uh afloat? Let me see. Uh Hickory Sisters, Boston.

Store. Patricia Bartivian and she um she was an uh Armenian immigrant, her dad, and then yeah, she she runs this the store's right by the Boston Common Common. And Thomas what it it's called what? Oh the store is called Bar T V and her last name I guess. And it's a c oh, okay. It's a consignment store so she people give her their things and then she sells them and gives them the cash.

Yeah. But oh my god, Tig like she out of nowhere she she goes, Well, my sister and I we were w going table to table singing songs and there was Ernest Hemingway and Carrie Grant at the table. And I'm like, Wow, that's amazing and she said, Ernest Hemingway said, Her tits are fake. About her and she go and he goes, If they're real, I'll pay the bill. And so then she takes his finger, she says, I took his finger. Did they have fake boobs back then? And she goes I took his finger out.

I know. So she took Ernest Hemingway's finger and poked her own boob and then he goes, Well, they're they're real, I'll pay the bill and then she looks at me and she goes Tell you what, they were fake. But who is it? That is so funny. Crazy. So that really lifted my spirits. Like I when I left I was like, Oh my god, like she's so full of life and what am I doing complaining about anything?

And you know what is so um deeply amusing to me about this story is when you left the next person that walked in got the same story. Exact same story and experience. Yes. It was polished, the story. I and I've seen a video of her telling it on the news too. Yeah. That is amazing. She's a real badass. Like there's this statue of Edgar Allan Poe in Boston Common and on her Wikipedia page it says she was responsible for getting that statue put there. And that information on Wikipedia.

I know, yeah. Hickory sisters, hickory sisters. Oh my gosh. And are you gonna are you still wait, are you in Boston now? No, I'm in Poughkeepsie. Oh right, Poughkeepsie. Yeah. Right. But I want to keep in touch with her somehow. Well we have the name of the place. Yeah. And if if you're in Boston, go ch go chat to her. Yeah, I don't have any Boston plans right now, but um all in good time.

Well but I know you're on tour soon because a couple of these venues have been like, Tig's coming soon, tig's coming so everyone's really excited. And at the meet and greets people are so pumped. Oh that's so great. They're pumps for my um non meet and greet. Yeah, they are. They're like, Tig's coming here. We were gonna get a picture with her but we probably won't

But we definitely won't. Um That's so great. Yeah, I'm looking I'm very much looking forward to it. Um gonna see some people I know and yeah.

Has it been nice to be in LA though for a while? It's been really nice. Yeah. Um, it's been really, really nice. It it's everything I dreamed it would be. Really? Well just when I was Yeah, when I was gone a lot I was just daydreaming about things like playing tennis with Stephanie or our family or going on hikes and just being able to do that and take our morning walks. I just All of that stuff makes me so happy. Oh my god. Believably happy.

It's exactly the life I want. I you look tanned, you look healthy, you you yeah. I've been out in the sun. That's for sure. I love you too. Um, should we get to um our uh first question? Yeah, let's do it. What if it was from Patricia and I think it will. Thank you. Ha ha ha. I'm gonna send you a video of her that I secretly made. Oh, please do. Hey y'all, it's Emma in St. Louis, and you're the first podcast I've ever stuck with for every episode, so great work.

What's something that you have had to or are working to unlearn? Could be a tiny thing, could be huge stuff. Our listeners have the best questions. They really truly. They're better than the celeb questions. Let's go. It's just yeah, it like really they really make you think. But um do you have anything right off?

Working to unlearn value is measured in productivity, which I d I didn't really consciously believe, but I think subconsciously I'm I'm like I if I had a year where I didn't put anything out or d w you know, would I feel like I'd had a bad l a bad year or wasted my time. Like I'm really shifting into just wanting to do nothing and and do less. And do it really but do it really well and and not you know what I mean?

Yeah, I do. Yeah. Absolutely do. You felt like if you were not just churning a million things out, you were not successful. Is that right? Yeah, like like there's no limit to how much you can Do, like I and yeah, it's uh I I can't it's hard to even relax because I'm like I should be doing a painting or writing a song or like do you know. And uh now I really feel very clearly and strongly that I

Wanna I mean I'm I'm I'm just like yeah, that work life balance that you talk about. I really want that. Yeah, yeah. It's an ongoing process, I think. That I but it's and I do love what I do as well. Well, it makes it easier to love what you do when you have the balance and you have time off and you can

you know, live the life you're dreaming of. It's like before your career gets going, you're that's the life you dream of is things to get going in that way. And then when they get going, the life you dream of is to not be doing that as much and Yeah. So it's yeah, it's definitely a balance. What about with parenting? Did you have to unlearn anything with parenting? Like that you thought you were gonna be one type of parent and then

Yeah, I think I um that's a good follow up question on a really good question. Um I there's a lot of unlearning. Oh my gosh. I think more than anything I'm trying to find more curiosity in like s standing back and and watching rather than I think I would be more pushing for certain things that I thought that our kids should have or do. Whereas I'm really

I I think I've shared on this podcast that thing my stepfather said, which is um it's not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is. I love that. And I'm really really trying to and not even like forcing myself to try to do that. But m just being way more aware of that and curious about, yeah.

Who are you and what do you want to do? And where do you wanna go and what do you think? And and I know that sounds very obvious, but it's I bet there's a lot of differentiation that starts to happen around their age too, where like I I'm I get so nervous if I'm around a toddler, like their safety is like

Like you just I would get in the habit of just stepping in and you know, making sure everything's happening smoothly and and then I guess yeah, as they get older you have to be like, All right, well they're not gonna Yeah, yeah. Eve yeah, even aside from safety, just like just letting them make decisions. Um, one of the fun things that uh we do on the weekends is they decide when they go to bed and that's really cute, you know? Just Oh cute.

The to hear them and I've probably mentioned it on the show, but like for us to be in bed and to hear them down the hall watching The Simpsons and laughing, you know? Or Bob's burgers. And how how late do they make it? What's the latest they've sort of stayed up on the competition? I probably in near the midnight Time. You know. Yeah. But um but yeah, I don't know. Giving'em choices, watching'em make those choices and live with consequences and successes and I don't know. Yeah.

Altyazı M.K. I think I I went into parenting originally. With oh, this has to happen or this has to be done like this and it actually doesn't. Yeah. Checking All State First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you're picnicking in a peaceful area of the park? Look out. I was halfway through my cucumber sandwich before I realized I was sitting in. in the middle of a disc golf course.

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

My mom talks about like Well she feel she feels like you have to teach kids empathy. I think it's innate. Mm-hmm. I think they What do you think? I don't know, but I I think about it a lot, but I can see really specific examples of Max and Finn's compassion and um just heightened parts of their personality that I can directly tie to how we've raised them. Oh really? What catches their eye. How it catches their eye. Like I was I always talk about how moved I get by the kindness of strangers.

Yeah. And Finn feels very he loves that and he loves pointing it out where um I told him that even when the fire department or police, you know, when they're coming through and people pull over to let the emergency vehicles through to go help, you know? Yeah. I I said that even touches me. I just love like seeing people pull together. Help me. And um and even like to go back to Bob's Burgers, I don't know if you know Eugene Merman, um from Bob's Burgers, but he plays Jean.

The kid and he's an old friend and he was in a terrible car accident uh a few days ago. Like his car was In a ball of flames, like an action movie. And it was electric. It shut down. They couldn't get'em out. And the governor of New Hampshire happened to be driving by and her security detail smashed out the windows, got Eugene out of there and and I talked to Max and Finn about that. I was like that the kindness of strangers and seeing large groups of people standing around

wanting Eugene, whoever this person is in the car to be okay. Oh my god. And so I've just noticed it as we go through life and we'll turn and be like, that that's the kindness of strangers, right? Oh my god. Um when he points that out I'm like, Yeah, that's exactly these different moments that he notices and and he's very aware of it and So amazing that you'cause

You c your the lens that you view the world through is so malleable. Like it's so Yeah like that you've taught him to notice the good things is so amazing'cause I I the other night when I was down I did like my therapist had said about a gratitude list.

Like I was c corny and then before I went to bed I wrote down all the good things that had happened that day. And it had been an objectively bad day, but but then there were all these good things in there. It was like I saw snowflakes, uh you know, it was snow I had a good dog, I had a good smoothie, I talked to Parv, like there were good things going on, you know? So then that was nice. Well sorry you had a bad day. Oh no, but in the end I was like I had a good day.

The pros and con lists said I had a good day actually. Yeah, gaslighting myself. Now I was good. Should we see here Emma's answer? Yeah. My tiny unlearning is that somehow I said the word B-O-T-H with an L growing up, like, oh, I love both of those. So I have been trying to correct it to both. just really never was. It still isn't an L in that word. As far as bigger things go. We got patriarchy, racism, the classics, but we don't have time for all that. So I'm a work in progress. Okay, love you.

So funny, like the deep dive we went into and she's like, I'm just trying to get L out of my both. But now we're both gonna say both. Yeah, we will. We'll we'll both do that. Yeah, that's gonna be addictive for me, I think. Both. Yeah. Well good luck with all of that, Emma from uh From every every end of the spectrum that you're working on. Yeah, the patriarchy and bullshit. Yeah. Um should we get another question? Yeah.

Hi, handsoms. This is Kate. I was just wondering if any of you had a comfort item when you were little, and if you did, did it have a name or did you do anything interesting with it? The little chuckle after interesting. Um Yeah, did you have we've talked about stuffed animals a bit, right? Yeah, yeah. I had a a monkey named Zip and um and I handed it down to Max and Finn who cared nothing about Zip and it was so shocking to me.

Because it just I would assume it was like the greatest gift I could give anybody. And they and it just is lying around in their other pile of stuffed animals that they feel neutral about. Really? Are they Yeah. Are they not into any stuffed animals or just they wanted their own Um Like, what is this old secondhand? Monkey. Um, no fins into his elephant and um

Max um has uh a lamb but he's not as attached and when I go in to say goodnight I'll say, Do you still care about Lammy? And he's like, Yeah. And then I'll just grab it. And but uh Zip was Hardcore for me. Like we went on a family vacation left the house. I don't know how far out we were and I was like, I forgot zip and so we had to turn around and get zip. Like there's no world I could have Ever, ever made it through that trip without Zip. I'm really glad they turned around for you.

I had so many stuffed animals that I was deeply attached to and'cause my you know, my dad is a strange puppet maker. Like he would bring them all to life and stuff. So Owel Owel is the oldest one that I that I still have and live with. And it's an owl that I swear I have a memory of my dad making it fly above my crib, like when I was a baby, like like that. And then Yeah. Yeah, a lot of stuffed animals. A a lot of them might and I don't know if this is like

unwell, but he my dad has a lot of them by his bed still. Like he he has them in Toronto and he's got like Donut the Bear, Amanda Panda, Beanie Bunny, and Kitty White all next to his bed. And you're saying quite possibly your father's unwell? Well, it's he li he lives in a pretty mystical world. Um no he's definitely not unwell, but he um has a rich fantasy life and imagination.

I don't know what he gets up to because his bedroom is also his puppet studio now, so And does your I mean this is very personal, but does your mother share the bedroom with him? No they have separate rooms. Okay. But they've assured me that They are intimate with each other. I didn't ask, but they told me that. Because they don't want me to worry that they're in separate rooms. But you know, my Yeah, so you share with the handsome podcasts. They are still intimate. Uh oh. Uh

Yeah. But yeah, so stuffed animals, I guess. I didn't I was never like you know, people have a blanket, like a blanket. I never Yeah. I didn't either. I had cigarettes and a monkey. Should we listen to um Kate's response? Yeah. My answer is that I had a pillow comfort item when I was little. Its name was Stinky. And I used to smell it around the clock and also crease its satin and strum it like a guitar.

And also pick feathers from it because it was a feather pillow. I liked all those little sensory things. All right, handsoms, your best. Thanks, Kate. Yeah, stinky the pillow, huh? Stinky the pillow pulling feathers out of old stinky. Oh my god. Where do you think what picture Stink Stinky is in a landfill right now. Let's just be honest. It's pa it's likely. But maybe K.

Maybe Kate. No, no, Kate would have mentioned if uh Stinky the Pillow and and pulling out that many feathers, there's just no way. Right. And that's the kind of thing that if you try to gift that to your kids they're like, Oh Oh my gosh. It is a weird thing I did not know about'cause I again gifted my kids T shirts from when I played soccer for them to wear. Yeah. Yeah. But then They wear'em, they grow out of'em and then I

And then I've left I j well this just happened in the house where it was like it was all returned to me. Like we've grown out of this and it's like there's no one to give it to now. So I just have to throw it away. Like I'm not throw it away, but like go um Uh, you know what, I'll start an eBay store and I'll uh sign my childhood. Jersey and uh and retire on that. What if they have kids one day? They gotta keep them, but you can't expect them to keep them now until they have kids.

Yeah, it's like like how long do you hold on to these old soccer t shirts? Anyway. Well that was a fun episode. Good to see you and thanks for listening. Make sure to submit your questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com slash handsome pop. And and actually tonight I'm in Vegas. Um if you live in Vegas, there's still tickets left. There's two shows, seven PM and ten PM. I'm desperate for you to be there. May Martin.net for the other tour dates. Okay, well until next time Keep it pretty

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Themster, Tignataro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wulette. Email us at handsome pod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod. What a podcast! What a podcast! Podcast. The headgum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking your new smart thermostat before going to bed?

That's a sticky situation. For some reason, it programmed itself to heat the house to 90 degrees right at midnight. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.