Pretty Little Episode #77

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Pretty little episode. Hi, it is your dearest friend in the entire world, Tignotaro, sitting here with Your other friend, that's the most important in the entire world, is that what you said? No, it's not. Fortune Beamster. Hi, Fortune. You are the most important person in my life. Aww, you stop. And I don't believe you. I don't either. I'll be honest, I don't believe that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what's so funny is the last time we did one of these, it was your folks' birthday.

Well tomorrow is my mom's birthday. Really? I mean, I I know it's kind of a stretch, but in the same vein, you know what I mean? Sure, sure. And and would uh old Ginger mind telling us how old? Sh this is a big one, eighty. I can't Can't I truly cannot believe it? Wow, she looks really good for now. Yeah, it's just Yeah, I I eighty years old. That just doesn't seem I'm glad she's here. Listen, I'll I'll take it. I'm grateful.

And she she's active, heading out, sitting on benches and stuff. Yeah, yeah. She's she's uh doing doing pretty good. We're gonna have a big party for her. I I'm filming right now, so I c I wanted to do it around this time, but um it just will be easier once I wrap. So we're gonna uh she was fine to wait till March. Oh okay. We uh are gonna have a little par a party for her for some of her good friends. And mo mostly family.

Um but just When in March? Because if it lands on my birthday, maybe we could do a you're gonna come to Belmont, North Carolina and celebrate? Late March. Sh that's when my birthday is, March twenty fourth. Oh, it's not that it's not that date, but close. Oh, sure. Twenty I saw I Twenty eighth? Yeah. I can stick around. We could do it right in the middle. Yeah, we could do the twenty sixth right in between.

I would love for you two to have a joint birthday party. That would be hilarious. I'm sure we have the same friend group. Totally the same friends. What are her friends like? Are they just like ginger? Um yeah, they're fun. They there's a whole group of them called the Yah Yas. Mm-hmm. And they get together a couple of times a month, um, for like lunch or whatever. They they celebrate uh the birthdays of the month will all celebrate with one

Meal. And how do they know each other? Years and years of just growing up in in Belmont and I mean they've been a friend group for decades now. Yeah. And uh I a lot of their a lot of us Some of them had kids all the same age, so my friends are th uh in that friend my m my friend's moms are in that mom group and and then they have their own then they branch out and do stuff You know, individually with little.

Are you tight with the fri the kids of the friends? I was growing up, I just don't see people as much, you know, but if I saw'em it would be great to see them. Mm-hmm. But you know, they're they're w it's a wonderful friend group. I'm so glad she has them. I it's funny, a couple gosh about I wanna say seven, six, seven years ago, I filmed this thing for Comedy Central.

Congrats. In my hometown and they came and they had my mom's the yachts come over and a lot of that footage got cut in this thing, but I would so wish I had it because they w it was so great seeing her friends all together and I wonder if you could get in touch and have someone dig it up. I bet it's somewhere. Maybe. And if funny enough, the cameraman for that that project was at a a screening I went to of of your documentary.

Um good light. Yeah. And uh I I hadn't seen him since and he was there with my mom filming all their friends. It was a really cool a special experience. So That's amazing. Yeah, but yeah, I'm glad she has those uh those friends. They all Yeah, I'm telling you, I this is this is this is your job right now, is you gotta reach out to Comedy Central and see if there's any way to track that footage down. Okay. You will be so glad you did that, Fortune.

Yeah,'cause they were all on that day, just like Cutting each other off and making jokes and it was really sweet. And your your reps can help you hunt that down. You gotta do it. It it'd be uh one day of work for you to do. Yeah. I don't know. You know, phone calls, emails. I should get a lot of that footage'cause it was all about me and my mom. Yeah. And uh there I'm sure we got some cool stuff that and like when they aired it, it was supposed to be about mo uh comedians and their moms but

They barely showed anything that they filmed. It was very odd. They showed more they showed more stuff of uh me on stage than they did of the footage Interesting. I know. And and so we ha I have all this probably pretty great footage of the two of us that I would like to get a lot of if but I don't know how that works, but I'll have'em look into it. Yeah. Yes you will. Mm-hmm. That's exciting. Yeah.

Yeah. Shout out Ginge. Yeah, the Ya Yayas, uh Fortune Themster and the Yayas is the band name. That's right.

Well, that's all I got. Well, let's get into our questions then. Hi, handsome. This is Hope calling from Georgia. First of all, thank you so much for the endless entertainment. Um, one of the things I love to do besides listen to your podcast is do road trips and stop at weird roadside attractions like I don't know, like largest ball of yarn or I recently went to see

A peanut shaped like Jimmy Carter. Um my question is if you had to design a new roadside attraction, and I know I'm gonna get pushback on the had to, like why you have to, so let's say You are gonna earn money for this that goes to charity. Um, charity of your choice. What roadside attraction would you design? And tell me a little bit about it.

Well have you ever have you ever been to one of those random roadside things? Yeah, I think I've seen the ball of yarn or the rubber bands or whatever. Mm-hmm. I stopped into I think it was Arlington, Texas. They have a bunch of like Cadillac in the ground, like standing up. I don't know why, but it's there. Okay. The end. I think I would personally like just right out of the gate, what I would love to see.

is just like a huge animal sanctuary adoption place where you're on the road, you're exhausted. And I'm talking a big one. Like Were you? Pull off the side of the road and you just pet kittens and dogs and old grandpa animals and and just like, you know, you d you you're just like, All right. That was fun, but also I'm gonna take mittens with me.

And I mean like a circus of animals out there. But they're all treated very well and Oh well of course. I'm not gonna have a roadside attraction where animals are getting abused. That's right. I'm just saying this is like The place to go. It's like a spa here. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But they also but you're there's so many that they they need a home forever homes. Yes. And if you can't adopt'em though, it's just so fun to like run around with um

Cows. Mm-hmm. Love a cow. Does that sound fun? I love a cow. That sounds great. I just saw a very long haired cow. Really? Like flowing in the wind hair. Oh. Yeah. I don't see many of those. I've never seen one until that. Yeah.

Hm. But um I don't know. I just that would be a sight for sore eyes if you're like on the road for days and hours and I like that. Well I you know, now that I'm a Disney beaver I would have said I would have some kind of beaver attraction, but Bucky's kinda cornered the market on that.

They uh beat me to the punch. Those are have you been in a Bucky's? I have. And what is your feeling about Bucky's? They're ginormous. Well, I know their size, but what do you feel? I mean, you know, the I like the novelty of it. You go in there and hear him yelling about brisket sandwiches and pick out a million different versions of beef jerky or fudge.

It's a lot it's a lot though. You know, I I like to get in and get out. I don't go lollygagging. Well, here's my thing. I'm very confused about. Mm-hmm. Everyone like people's obsession with Bucky's. Like I don't I don't I don't get it. I'm just like, right, there's gas here and then there's a place where you can buy a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Who cares?

Like why is everyone buying shirts about it and like talking to friends and you gotta go to Bucky's and oh my god, you go to Bucky's and like I don't think you're the target audience. No, I'm not. And I'm not the target audience to talk to me about buckies. Yeah. Well,'cause they're going in there for brisket and jerky and those aren't your things. Already they've lost you. Even if they had vegan brisket and jerky.

all down the aisles. I the whole hype around it. Yeah. I'm like, who cares? Who cares? Well I'll tell you something they did two things they did uh that were interesting. Um This isn't anti Buckies. This is anti the people freaking out about Bucky's I hear I hear you, but I am gonna highlight two things that people do like about it. One, they don't allow any of those big transfer trucks.

Okay. And you know, those can get a little intimidating to drive around at gas stations on the road. So people are kinda into that. That they're they don't allow That's not what I'm talking about. Well the other thing they did is they catered to women, which is unusual. Mm-hmm. Uh, by they s th their marketing plan was Uh clean bathrooms. Women like clean bathrooms. Mm-hmm. And I will say their bathrooms are unbelievable.

I understand this. I know all this. I'm all for buckies. All right. I'm not all for the people that are acting like this is some Like like we need merchandise and we need to tell everyone alive how incredible Buck is. Well, I think it's like one of those things that it just kind of becomes part of the like culture how people wear like Waffle House t shirts, you know, I don't know.

It just becomes like I f yeah, I feel like Bucky's is a whole different thing. Yeah. Well it's kinda like a yeah, it's like a circus. I don't know. I don't know. Well I'm I think it's also kind of my response when What was that frozen yogurt place everyone went nuts about? Oh, uh Pink Berry or Minchis or pink berry and then like the donut place that everyone was going nuts about.

I know, I'm just like, go in and get your donut, go and get your jerky, go get your mouth and just cork it. Cork it! Quit acting like a nerd. Your mouth. About a gas station. I mean, get a life. Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know I had that much uh pent-up anger around. I'm glad you got it out. Me too. Whew, it's been a long time coming. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you've got some healthy snacks available at all times.

Rookie mistake. Now I'm craving some carrot sticks and planning an emergency trip to the grocery store. Yeah, check in first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Was that a question we had? What like why am I talking about a stock here? By saying they already did what I would do, which would be a beaver place. Oh, roadside attraction. Right. I don't really have Other than that, I don't... I mean... I I don't have anything random. I just want food. Like I just want a bunch of pastries and pies. Yeah. You know, and then and then maybe some lesbian music plan like Melissa Etheridge or something. All right. Well, does hope have an answer?

Come to my bookkies! Go and get your pies! The roadside attraction I would design would be like a giant TV with like a row of giant books on top, and then like inside you would see like weird artifacts that were like supported Supposedly from big movies, but like you know for sure they're just like Totally made up. Or like, you know, like a gum wrapper found on the set of Scream, something like that. Thank you. Okay, okay. I like it. Mm-hmm.

A like it hope. We like it hope. We like it and we like you hope. And we like when people send in questions and answers and woo's the next one. Woo.

Hi handsome pod, my name is Andy. I'm from Houston, Texas. So my question to you I have a friend that I've been friends with for years and I love her. She's a very, very kind heart hearted person. She's the embodiment of treat how people how you want to be treated. Mm-hmm. My issue is is that she tends to tell, shall we say, tall tales. And she does this a lot. So much so that I find myself kinda zoning out when she's telling these tall tales.

My question to you guys is what should I do about this? Should I call her out? Should I go along with it? Should I subtly let her know that I don't really believe what she's telling me? How would you guys address this? Uh, I absolutely love the pod. Uh it's something I feel like we desperately need in these times. You guys are my favorite sillies. Aw, thanks. Oh finally some advice. Well, first of all, I don't believe that she has friends that lie to her. No.

I don't know th it doesn't sound like a lot of things. I was being funny. Oh I was acting like she's a liar too. Oh I get it. Yeah, yeah. I get it, I get it. Do you think the people that exa'cause I know some people that exaggerate like that, do you think they realize they're doing that? Yeah. Really? Yes. Yes I do. Have you have you encountered this in your own life where you've had to say something to someone? Um yes. But and you did and you did say something?

Yes. Yeah. Well you were pretty straightforward like that. Yeah, I but I'm not doing it in a like you're lying to me. Right. I've suggest that. In a w in a way of like, hold on a minute. Right. You know, where I'll be like Back up. You're I need clarity here. I need clarity. You're telling me that this, this, and this happened. Mm-hmm. Or they'll kind of big talk like, oh, if this happened, I would just do this. And then I'm like

Would I'm sorry, but would you really just do you know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. The other thing and I feel like I've talked about it on this is uh on this show is um there was this guy Um, and believe it or not, before I knew I was gay, um, he was pursuing me. Yeah, you were and he was he was calling and he was I mean, lying his Face off. Really? Oh my god. And you could tell. It was like the craziest lies every time. He c and I rem I actually knew him from long ago.

And we ran into each other as an as adults. And I remembered it about him as a kid where I was like This guy. Right. So as an adult, I'm like, wow. He's still doing this, but it's like on a bigger scale. Yeah. And he was clearly trying to do it to impress me. And the last time I ever heard of uh ever heard from him. He lied to me, but Like of course I don't have proof. Mm-hmm.

I know. He doesn't have that you can kinda tell when someone's like Let me tell you what he put in one Let me tell you what he told me. Yeah. And this was I was So irritated and like this is before caller ID and I would never know it was him and I'd pick up and I'd be like, Oh boy. And um and one and his favorite band was REM. Yeah. Loved R.E.M. Wow.

He calls me and what do you know? He's backstage at REL. Yeah, he's hanging out with them. But you know what? He took a beat and he went to the payphone to call me. Right. I'm having the time of my life. He's having the time of his life. Not even just enjoy the time of my life, but I need to go call

Called Tig from the payphone. Long distance. Long dist no less. Collect call they called those It wasn't collect. He paid. He he paid. Oh, okay. And um so anyway After I was sitting there rolling my eyes so irritated that this guy like you think I'm the like On what planet did you end up backstage at your favorite bands? Right. And of course I understand it happens, but this was just it was par for the course with this guy.

And I'm sitting I finally come up after I we get off the phone, I come up with the perfect thing to say to a liar. Yeah. But I never heard from him again. And what I should have said to him when he was telling me he was backstage partying with R.E.M., I should have said me too. That is funny. That I when it hit me, I was like, that is the best thing to say to a liar is just tell them you're doing the same thing. Like oh my god. You're back.

Backstage? I'm backstage at R.E.M. too. Where do you wanna meet? 'Cause like he's not gonna call me a liar. Right. He's probably gonna hang up the phone. That's so funny. I've never even occurred that never even occurred to me. It never occurred to me either, but he drove me so crazy. Yeah. Drove me so crazy. So yeah, that is I Those are different levels of confronting a liar.

Where it's like, hold on, back up. I need clarity. Yeah. You know, and and kind of get into it, make them a little nervous and have'em explain themselves. Cause if you're not lying. And somebody says, Back up, I need clarity. Yeah. You don't take personal No big deal. I'll give you all the clarity you want. Yeah. And then you have some unhinged lunatic that is like

I landed a seven forty seven on a freeway and you're like, Oh yeah, me too. What was your experience like doing that? It is the best feeling. That is pretty funny.

So Yeah, I like something like that. I don't recommend just like calling being like you're lying. Yeah. I'm more of just like, yeah, like, wait, what was that? Come on, come on now. You know that didn't happen. I I kinda start teasing people like Well we we early on uh m Ma we joke with May'cause May told us I think it was like one of the first recordings that the internet was out and would be on it

Ten thirty? Yes. And Ting and I looked at each other like, okay. Yeah. That's when their date has to get on leave to go to work. So when May got on Tig and I just gave May so much shit, but in a fun way where May was laughing and we were laughing'cause May was like, Ugh, but kinda busted sort of thing. So there is a way to go about it where it can still be like You know, like

Yeah. It's it goes back to like your intentions and your delivery and you know, it's as long as you're not harboring some I mean, I I'm it is crazy making when somebody is consistently lying. It's it's like So that's t it is tough. So I feel for ya, Andy. But um I think you can find a happy medium between um hold on, I need some clarity. This see I'm confused. Walk me through this. Um even down to Me too.

Yeah. There's a whole new Me Too movement. That's right. And if it becomes a thing where they're like just being dishonest about every like it's not j like tall tells when trying to like appear cooler is one thing, but just like straight up lying, then you can make a decision if that's somebody you want in your life or not. Um heard it here first. Because when someone lies like about everything all the time, that's it's tough to have a

Deep friendship with that person. For sure. Best of luck to you, Andy. Hopefully hopefully that helps.

Mm-hmm. We did it again. Yeah, we did it again. If you have any other advice, look how good we are at this. We just fixed everything. We just fixed Andy's entire life. Mm-hmm. You can uh send us questions here or ask us. any kind of advice at speakpipe.com slash handsome pod for sure. Um, well, what a treat. Delight, delight, delight. Also check out Tignotaro dot com for all of my tour dates. I'm coming at ya. New cities, new dates being added all the time. Yeah, same. I'm

I'm going to the Beacon on February fourteenth, so join me for Valentine's Day in New York City. That'd be pretty sexy. I'll be there. Oh, I wish that would be fun. Uh, I won't be there. But um have a great show and until next time. Keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tigno Taro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us On social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that your podcast co hosts know the lyrics before bursting into song, a little awkward. I'm happy to take a solo, but what I really want is for our voices to join in handsome harmony. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, North Brooklyn.