Pretty Little Episode #74

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Pretty Little Episode. Woo! Welcome to the Handsome Pods Pretty Little Episode. I'm Fortune Feimster. I'm Tig Notaro. And we're feeling warm and cozy. Yeah. Together. Together. Together. Feeling warm and cozy. We put out a video over the holidays where you were kissing on us. And everyone was like, hold up. The romance and chemistry is really coming through here. I don't know how to be sandwiched between...

Mae Martin and Fortune Feimster and not kiss all over you. I'm doing it for our fan base. I know they're all feeling it. They're all thinking it. I'm going to do it. You can't control yourself around us. I can, but I'm doing it for the love of our listeners because you know that they're like...

If I was there, I'd be kissing on them. So I'm just like, all right, I'll do it for you. Well, you've created a real will they, won't they moment on the pod. And that's between all three of us? Yeah. Will they, won't they? Uh-huh. What do you think is going to happen? Do you think we will or do you think we won't? I think that's, well, we keep it stringing along. Yeah, so people keep listening because they don't know.

Am I going to leave Stephanie for fortune? Never, ever, ever. Oh, I never noticed your accent. Never, ever. How long have y'all been together now? 13 years? Wow. Yeah. What would you have guessed? I thought it was somewhere around like 12. But yeah. I can't believe you're keeping up with that. I know. Well, it's because. I knew you both when y'all got together. Yeah. I'll be honest. This February is 13 years. Okay. Well, you're right. We're right there. Yeah. Is it Valentine's?

It is. It's exactly Valentine's Day. It is? Y'all smooched on Valentine's? That's when it happened. That's romantic. And it wasn't even planned. People roll their eyes and they're like, oh, yeah, right. Yeah, you didn't plan. We truly didn't. There was no plan. I just met up with her that night.

Now here we are 13 years later with two kids, three cats, and a production company. Well, you smooched that night. She freaked out, and then she gave you the letter, the email, and you said, okay, Dyke, which was... An infamous part of your love story. It is, yes. We smooched, and then her email was 43,000 pages telling me she could not date me, that she's not gay.

I would love to just picture her writing that. I wonder how long it took her. And not wanting to hurt my feelings and be complimentary about how fun it is to hang out. And then, you know, of course, I was so bummed because I really thought, wow, I can see a future with this person. And then, yes, I wrote in response to her email. I wrote, OK, Dyke. And you did read the whole thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I remember sitting there feeling bummed. I was like.

God. But I was like, yeah, obviously I can't pursue this. Yeah. I got to let it go. So I'll leave it on a funny note. And I had no idea that funny note was going to be what made her. Yeah, she was like, oh, I like her. I know. I had a number of those back in the day where I liked somebody and like threw it out there and I got the big fat no. And you didn't respond with, okay, Dyke? No, I think I was like...

Cool, cool, cool. Great. All right. Well, all right. So when you throw it out there, do you throw it out there with some flirting or do you throw it out there with a little... bouquet of flowers delivered to someone's door and sing, I've had my eye on you. Well, this was a long time ago. I mean, someone would be crazy to turn me down now. Of course, of course. I'm just kidding. Everyone relax. Fortune was just kidding. I'm kidding. Of course they'd be crazy to turn you down. You're a kid.

catch i stand by this but back in the day i was not as much i was not a catch i was kind of awkward because i came out late so it was you know i just didn't know how to i wasn't very smooth And I probably had a little bit of desperation dripping off of me. Like, please go on a date with me. If not saying that out loud the whole time. No, you're right.

I think I would, from what I remember, I would hang out with the person quite a bit and get to know them. And I felt like I was being flirty, but I was always confused because people wanted to be my friend. And they wanted to hang out with me, but I didn't know if it was ever more. And it would get to the point where I had developed such a crush that I couldn't hold it in anymore.

And I would just, I think I would call and be like, hey, any chance I could take you out on an actual date? And every now and then I got a yes. And then sometimes I would get a no. Just want to be friends. And that was always a bummer. Which that happened between us. I don't know. Yeah. When you asked me out. We were not each other's types. People are going to hear that and believe it. That never happened. That never happened. Tig and I never went on a date nor asked each other on a date. No.

But we did have dinner with a friend of ours that was not a date. What? Remember Jamie Babbitt. Oh, right. Yeah. And Carrie was there. Dornado. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think we talked about it on the pod a long time ago. Jamie wrote, because we were like, was she trying to set us up? And she wrote, I was not. I just wanted my funny friends to meet each other. Yeah. But I didn't think it was.

We had already met though, but she wanted us to spend time and become friends and start a podcast a decade later. She's like, one day, 10 years from now, you'll start a podcast. Yeah. I haven't seen Jamie in a while. Have you? I haven't in a minute. No, but. it was funny when she texted me after that episode being like i was not setting y'all up i was like i know i know that's funny and here we are

Here we are. About to answer some questions from our lovely listeners. Let's do it. Let's get into it. Why would we wait any longer? Let's don't wait. Let's stop waiting. Thomas? Hi, Handsome Pod. My name is Kristen and I live in Baltimore. My question is, are there two people in the entertainment world who you would like to see do a collaboration? Maybe...

two singers who you think should do a duet together, or two actors who would make a great rom-com. Just something that you think would be fun and interesting. I know right off the bat what I want. Oh, yeah? What'd you go? Yes. I want... an album entirely uh-huh 12 tracks if not more okay of paul simon and ed burkell oh yeah yeah that would be good they've never done that i think they've like

Or a long time ago. I mean, they've performed together and he produced her solo album. But she had mentioned something recently to me. about them performing or doing something together. And I was like, that's all anybody wants on this planet is Paul and Edie doing a full album of duets. That would be cool. Whatever, whatever you. Yeah. Not just like backup vocals, not just every other song, like a whole album. Give it to us. Give it. Mm-hmm.

Let's see. I would like to see Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig do like a limited series podcast together. Oh. They're so funny. I think about them. They've given out awards together a couple times. They did this one where they did this like, you get out of here. It's this whole bit that was like so funny. Just like little things like that that they do together crack me up.

Yeah, their ultimate silliness. Yeah, I like silly people together. What if they were like, we're not going to do that, but what we can do is a duet album. I would love that too. They did a Lifetime movie together. They did? Yeah. But they did it like serious. Like they were like not making fun of Lifetime movies. They're like, we want to do a Lifetime movie. That is amazing. Yeah. So I want more from them.

I want to see, they're already kind of a duo at times, but I want to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host an award show again together. But musically, I can't think of who I would want to sing. How about Paul Simon and Edie Burkell? Let's go with that one. All right. Did Kristen tell us who she was? I bet it's Edie Burkell and Paul Simon. For me, my answer is, whenever I see the comedian Dimitri Martin. I always think of Kate Micucci.

And every time you guys mention Kate Micucci, for some reason, I think of Dimitri Martin. And I know that their energies are pretty different, but they live in the same place in my brain. And I would just love to see what those two crazy kids would come up with if they did a collaboration. I think it would be really fun and interesting. They're both so multi-hyphenate talents. And that's my answer. Thanks. I love your podcast. I could see that, actually. Yeah, for sure.

They have, I don't know if this is, I mean, is the word quirky, right? I mean, I feel like that's kind of not really giving them the credit that they deserve. But they have, they're not. even though they've broken through in mainstream ways, they're like, they have such different ways of thinking about things and approaching. Yeah. That would be interesting. And they're both brunette. What a lovely cover that would be. Yeah, kind of both have bowl haircuts.

It's perfect. They're both artists. Yeah. And it's called My Coochie. No? Oh, wait. Dimitri. Me. Coochie. How about Dem Coochies? There you go. Tig Marie. That's it. That's it, Tig Marie. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking what you're unplugging when you're finding a spot on the extension cord for your phone charger? Uh-oh.

My phone is now charged, but my laptop's at 0%. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. All right. What else we got, Mr. Thomas?

Hi Hansens, my name is Nick. I live in the UK and I have a question for TIG. So I work at a university and I teach film history and film and media theory and this year I'm teaching a class all about emotion in film and how different types of films evoke different kind of physical or emotional responses in their audiences. And one of the topics is documentary films.

And this year I decided to screen Come See Me in the Good Light to my students. And I was wondering, what kind of discussion questions do you think you would want the students to be asked once they've seen the film? You know, what kind of discussions do you think they should be having? What kind of conversations do you think would be the most useful? Or do you kind of envision as being the perfect response to the film? Okay, thank you. Bye.

Nick, thank you. That means a lot. And I'm so thankful that the movie spoke to you. You know what I'm really interested in? Just the idea of death and your own death. And what are you, I mean, obviously some people don't have the lead up. or knowledge that they're going to be dying. But I think that before... Andrea's death, and before this documentary, I did not think much about my own death and what I wanted. And having been at end-of-life bedsides...

Before Andrea, I was at three other ones. And what I really noticed was that the conversation wasn't very open. There was a lot of like, look, you can't avoid sadness and fear and dread and all of this stuff and regret and whatever, whatever it is. But. I really would be curious to hear people in your class, Nick, talk about or explore the idea of what they want in the final.

days and the time of their death, if they have that luxury of planning and preparing, which, you know, to some degree, everyone can have that if they get started. And it's made me realize, and I have been introducing it more to Max and Finn, and I'm trying to not present death as like this. horrendous, terrible thing. And of course it is. It's so sad and emotional, but it can be beautiful and it can be life-changing in this.

bold exciting way if you embrace it and of course I know death is so different with every person family illness and end of life but That is what Andrea's death in this movie has done to me is it's made me change my idea and it's made me not look at it like something to just ignore.

push away and dread until it's coming and then it happens and then it's devastating and and of course that can still happen when it's when it's when when you're planning and you're keeping the conversation open but that that's if i don't know i'm i feel like i'm talking in circles but does that make sense totally makes sense yeah those are important conversations to have too especially it is but to really actually have them

Yeah, not act like it isn't going to happen one day. Yeah, and I was at a Christmas, a friend's Christmas dinner, and two of my friend's friends... I know them, and I see them regularly at her house, but I didn't know that these two women have been getting certified as death doulas. And it just like changed our conversation. We've had such casual conversations together when we see one another. Oh my gosh, was it different. And now we have these follow-up.

And now we're going to meet and talk more about death and their certification or whatever they're studying to become deaf doulas. And I'm just so fascinated because I think it can be a positive thing. If you're open to positive, I mean, of course, it's crazy to say that. Well, gaining stuff from it, you know, knowledge. Just being open. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Anyway, that's just where I am. And I would be so interested to hear students talk about that. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Anyway, that's my answer, Nick. Should we do one quick?

Question? Quacky, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. Hey, handsomes, this is Joyce from Fort Smith, Arkansas. And my question for you today is, are you afraid of clowns or do you find them creepy? I think the general consensus is... Yes, when you ask most people, but I want to know your thoughts, your way in. Why or why not? I've never had that thing. You know, some people like...

think they're the creepiest and so scary. I mean, obviously like a movie like It, they're meant to be the villain and creepy so that they're leaning into that. But they've never been a source of weirdness for me. Thamesies. Right, I mean, I understand it can lend itself to creepiness with the clown music and stuff. Yeah, I just...

When people are like, oh my God, clowns are so creepy. I'm like, sure. Yeah, there's much creepier things in my opinion. I know. I just, I'm like, okay. Like, I'm clearly missing something. yeah that uh it's not like i want to go to a clown conference and no offense to the clowns listening but and do your um there you go the clown horn yeah um Do you want to do it, Fortune? I can't do it. No, you can't. Thomas? That's pretty good. Fortune, you want to try again? No, no.

All right. Well, that was a fun episode. I can't be great at everything. No, you can't. Does Joyce have an answer? Yeah. Does Joyce think clowns are creepy? Do you think Joyce is going to think so? I'm going to assume she thinks they're creepy for her to have asked this question. I'm going to say she doesn't. Okay. Yeah. My answer to that question is no.

And my why is because as a kid, my mom was a clown. She had some odd jobs. She's a hairdresser. And on the side, you could hire her to do your kids' birthday party. and she would dress up as sometimes a character, but most of the time it was... as a clown she did balloon animals and all that it was really fun my dad's also a stand-up comedian so we had a pretty eccentric childhood me and my sisters with a comedian dad and a clown mom so wow yeah

Can't wait to hear your answer. That's a fun, a fun house. Yeah. Literal fun house. So yeah, she's used to clowns though. Yeah. Not creepy to her. Yeah. It's never, that's never been a thing that I've been.

Like, oh, my God, clowns are so creepy. Probably just because I like hearing that clown horn you do. All right. Well, lovely. What another great group of questions. What an honor. What an honor. Yes. And you know, speaking of honors, it was a real honor and privilege to record this episode on my parents' birthday.

My mother and father born January 16th. So happy birthday. Here's to them. Tell me their names again. Well, my mother's real name was Mattiel, which is my real name. Yeah, but she went by Susie. And then my father was Pasquale Notaro. Pasquale. Hey. Hey. Pasquale. He went by Pat, though. I love it. What a name. What a name. Well, here's to your parents. Here's to them. We're grateful for them because we have you. And I you. And I you.

And yes, thank you to our listeners. Check out our websites. I'm at tignotaro.com. Go to my website and come to my show. Same. And if you want... To submit a question or ask us any advice, go to speakpipe.com slash handsomepod and ask away. And until next time, keep it pretty handsome. Itty handsome. Itty handsome. Pretty itty handsome. Itty bitty. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Theemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited.

by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. And that's smart. Not checking the rules for that new board game before you get started. That's when the evening can take a turn.

You're three hours in and you just realized you can only buy railroads when your blue token is on a square with four sides. Better luck next time. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.