Pretty Little Episode #68

You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking to see if it's trivia night at your local bar. You just wanted to get a bite to eat with a friend, but now you're invested in doing whatever it takes to win a $20 gift certificate by naming as many state capitals as you can. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you.

You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Pretty little episode.

May! Well, first of all, welcome to the pretty little... Episode. I'm Tig Notaro and you're May, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's skip past all that. What was that? I mean, I wasn't expecting such a response and I'm thrilled by it because it's electrically I'm holding. a banana peel, a classic comedy prop. Yeah. I ate the banana before we started recording and now I'm revealing the detritus. Oh, it's so funny what you did. You thought the little dance, it was like.

Yes, I did. Of course I did. Have you ever slipped on a banana peel? Do you know anyone that has ever slipped on a banana peel? It must have been a thing at some point, right? I would think in the olden days, bananas were pretty hard to come by, pretty rare. So I don't know when that started, the banana peels. Have I blown your mind with this information yet? What? Bananas are berries.

Stop. What do you mean? Bananas are berries. There's no way. Okay. Look at the shape. Google that up. I mean, I want it. You're a correct tick. Bananas or berries? Really? And you know it isn't a berry? A blackberry. What is happening? Thomas, will you Google that up? Can I blow your mind? Always every day that I see you.

Pumpkin's a fruit. Oh, of course. Oh, I didn't know that. Pumpkin's a fruit. Wow. So a banana's a berry. I guess it grows in bunches. I don't know what the qualities of a berry are. There's seeds inside. Are there banana seeds? Yeah. Huh. There should be. I think I've been getting some weird bananas. What I know about bananas is a lot of people die every year.

picking them. It's a very dangerous job. Coconuts fall on your head. And it's a, well, and you could slip on them. Yeah. You could slip on those peels and there's black widow spiders that live in the bunches, you know? Oh my gosh. Be careful out there. Thomas, are blackberries berries? It seems like they're not technically berries. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. And bananas are? Yes. Okay. That's so nuts. I know. No, not nuts. Berries. Yeah.

One of my favorite snacks that I eat almost every day is peanut butter on a banana and peanut butter on a honey crisp apple. Oh, that's good. It's so good. Yeah, peanut butter and bananas. I'll do a sandwich. Oh, yeah. Toast, peanut butter, banana, and honey drizzled. Yeah, yeah. Come on. Because you don't care.

I don't give a shit. You don't. And I can tell. Yeah. I dare you to keep doing that. Yeah. Do you like peanut butter on an apple? Yeah. I like peanut butter on most things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a bad food to eat. It is delicious. I wonder who started peanut butter. I don't know. Thomas, can you let us know? I feel like we just finally found Thomas's line. Like we went too far in asking him to Google who invented peanut butter. Oh, here we go.

Marcellus Gilmore Edson was a Canadian chemist and pharmacist. In 1884, he patented a way to make peanut paste, an early version of peanut butter. Oh, but the ancient Incas and Aztecs also ground peanuts into a paste centuries earlier. Of course they did. Okay, so truth comes out. Yeah, you can't just patent something and then say you invented it.

Right. Speaking of Canadians, I mean, this might blow your mind. I wish fortune was here to witness it. But I know that Katy Perry is dating Trudeau. You do, because that's huge. Yeah. They made their first public appearance, right? Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that like, did their marriages dissolve because they met type thing or?

Girl, I'm going to weigh in. I'm going to say that they, no, I think both their marriages had been on the rocks for a while, but it does seem pretty quick. Or is it? I don't know when Orlando. I don't know, but like, or were they keeping an eye on each other from a distance and like their dream boat became free and they were like, hello, I love you so and you're.

Your legacy will be great. I mean, when I look at them together, it makes sense. It works for me. I hope it lasts. I want to hear what song she writes about him. I don't know what he's going to do. No offense to either of them. I don't care. I don't care if they broke up while we were talking. I don't wish anyone ill will. I just, I, I'm not invested at all. Yeah. I got to be honest. Neither am I. I'm not that invested. Yeah. But God love them.

Yeah. And God does love them. God loves them both. They're children of the Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Who else is dating that we, that we know of that's new and exciting? Let's see. Who is. Dating. Oh, Thomas is typing. Maybe he's going to reveal. Oh, Sophie Turner and Chris Martin. Sophie Turner from Game of Thrones and Chris Martin from Coldplay.

How'd you hear this, Thomas? Yeah, why is Thomas? It just came up, you know, in my news feed. While we were talking about it, or girl, were you Googling hot goss? You know what? I think I heard about Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, and then I started kind of down a celebrity rabbit hole because of that a couple days ago. Well, I feel like as the weather gets colder, people start coupling up. People start...

wanting to stay in, they want to feel in a little lonely. It does add an element of pressure when both people and a couple are in the limelight, right? Like, or... When it would be a news story for them to break up or date or like, do you ever think about, have you guys ever been the subject of like a headline? You and Stephanie? Well, didn't I tell you, this isn't a headline, but didn't I tell you when I went.

on i don't know what i was on must have been social media or something but this thing popped up that said are you involved in a may december relationship and the picture was me and stephanie no Yeah. And so a May, December is like an older. Yeah. No way. Yeah. Like an age gap relationship. Oh, my God. Or maybe that's what they said, an age gap relationship. And it was me and Stephanie.

In the picture. That's insane. I can send it to you. Yeah. I was like, this is hilarious. Did you send it to Stephanie? I did. Yeah, of course. So what's the age gap? Me and Stephanie? Yeah. Is it 10? 15 years. 15 years. Yeah. Yeah. Have we been in a headline? I mean, other than just like we're celebrating an anniversary or we had babies or got married or.

you know any of that stuff we're not really it is weird like the parasocial relationships people have like i feel i feel connected to some celebrities i've never met like i like to think of myself as being very aware that I don't actually know these people, but then you see someone out and you're like, yeah, I know this person intimately. Well, like I remember hearing David Schwimmer's voice. I was in a restaurant. I heard his voice and my.

I wanted to walk up to him because I was like, I know this guy. Yeah, but you don't. No, but you don't. You can. Yeah. Even if you met them. Yeah. A time or two, you know, it's like. Is David Schwimmer coming up to you? Is he reaching out to you? No. I do think with the podcast, especially people do feel like they, they intimately know us and those can be tricky to navigate.

Yeah. But most people are cool and don't cross boundaries or get weird or, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Most people are great. Absolutely. Especially our handsome community. God, they're so good.

Yeah. They're so good. Speaking of which, shall we hear some questions? Yeah, let's hear from them. Hello, Hansomes. My name is Rhiannon and my question is a two-parter. First part for Tig, I'd like to know when and how did you know that Stephanie was the one for you? And for me and Fortune, I'd like to know if and when you meet somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

How will you know that they're the one? It's, you know, maybe I've mentioned this before, but I remember years ago when I had met Nick Offerman and he is. What? He's the one for me. Well, yeah. But, you know, he's married to the actress Megan Mullally. And I remember him talking about realizing. She was the one he was going to marry.

And I can't quite, I want to revisit this conversation with him because it really struck me because it was before I had ever met somebody that I for sure knew I wanted to spend my life with. And I remember him saying something to the effect of like, yeah. And then I was like, I'm going to have to marry her. Yeah. Like she's the one I'm going to marry. Like it was something like it could have sounded like he's not excited, but he was like, no, no, no. It's not that at all. It's I think, I think.

Now that I've met Stephanie and I felt that thing of like, it's undeniable, I guess it's coming for you. It's like an avalanche. It's like, we're getting married. This is it. And I used to. always ask people Nick I think that's why he was telling me I was like how do you know I was always wanting to know like how what was what because it's that thing that before you've experienced it

You don't know how to know. Right. How will I know? Like our listener is asking. And I think if it is that feeling of uncertainty, then you haven't had that feeling. And I for sure had it with Stephanie. I was like, oh my God, I want to marry this person. I love that. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking the sky for beautiful clouds.

Even if you only have five minutes, nothing's more relaxing than watching some clouds float by. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. But then also that's probably because partly you were both...

You were ready for that. I think we get decision paralysis and that we're overwhelmed by all the options and choice. There are probably multiple people for everybody. Sometimes the person who's the one is the person who you both are just like, we choose this, we want this. And so we're going to choose it and keep choosing it. And then there's... The thing that makes them the one is that they keep choosing it. Well, yeah, I definitely relate to that now that like, you know, Stephanie and I are.

I mean, obviously anything in life could happen, but I feel like we're very locked into our life and our love and family and all of that stuff. And yeah, you're choosing, but not because it's like... we're having a hard time. We're going to just choose to do this. But of course, there are times when it's hard and you make those choices to stay in it.

which is great because you should see what's on the other side of it. And maybe there's not anything, but I didn't feel out of the gate. Like I chose it. I felt like. It chose you. Yeah. It's like, wow. Kind of like what Nick was saying. Like, well, I guess we're getting married. Yeah. You know, I want to revisit that conversation with him. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Should we hear Rhiannon's answer? Yes, of course we should.

My answer to this question is that a few weeks into dating my wife, I realized that even though we spent just about every spare minute together, I never got tired of being around them. And I wanted I didn't want personal space. I didn't feel like I needed any space. And so about 15 years later, here we are. I still think they're the most interesting person I've ever met. And I just, yeah.

So I'm curious. Well, thank you for your podcast. You are keeping us laughing in dark times. That's so nice. I mean, it is the person you're going to spend the most time with. You have to be friends. You have to. I remember with Parv, when we lived together, we'd often find ourselves in the kitchen, like losing track of time, just mingling almost, like just talking. We'd be standing in the kitchen for like an hour, just talking. And then it was like...

Yeah, yeah. I love the idea of mingling with your girlfriend. Mingling in the kitchen is crucial, yeah. I'm going to invite Stephanie to meet me in the kitchen to mingle a bit before the day starts.

Yeah, pretend you're at a party and you found each other. That's great. Should we get another question? Yeah, let's do it. Hello, I'm Indira. Sorry for my English. I'm not a native speaker. I'm your listener from Germany. And I have a question to May especially, but I would be happy to hear the answer from any of you. So I have a niece who I could call.

a wayward, a troubled teenager. And I would love to build a stronger connection to her or help my mom, her grandma, to build a stronger connection to her. And the question is, what can you recommend to a relative of such a teenager to build the stronger connection? That's a really good question. Really good. Yeah. I think the temptation is to be. Well, I think you.

To remember, so probably this person like wants to be with their friends all the time and is maybe like, I don't know what they're struggling with at the moment, but thinking why is it that teenagers feel? that pull to their friends and that, that sort of individuation from family where they, they feel like, I mean, I think everybody has that as a teenager, right? You get so bonded. Yes. It's so important, but thinking, well, what.

I have to get to know this person as an individual. What does she like to do? If I want to connect with her, how can I connect with her with things that she's interested about? Take her somewhere that... is in line with her interests or, and yeah, like instead of being like, why won't she come to the family dinner and like sit? Yeah. Like, Hey, take me to your ideal day. Show me your ideal day. Start to finish.

Where you want to eat, where you want to go. Introduce me to your friends. I'm so curious about your life. Totally. And I think a judgment-free place for her to talk. Like if you want her to open up to you, then you then. when she does you've got to hold that like you can't you you have to be non-reactive you have to listen and um yeah because i think it's so easy to tell people to be honest but

it has to be a safe environment for them to be honest in, you know? Yeah. But that's tough. I mean, I would, yeah, I would just resist any like labeling of her or pathologizing, like just really. help her to feel that this is a fluid transitional time and that. Yeah. Maybe sharing stories about your own life and naturally putting that into a conversation of times that you were.

Maybe feeling a little off track or confused or troubled in some way. And I know when I've shared things with Max and Finn, struggles as a kid. Yeah. They're blown away. Oh, they like, yeah. Kids love to hear the stories. Yeah. They're like, you really marry you? You didn't. And I'm like, no, I didn't. Yeah. I can't believe it. I would also say like, pick your battles. Like if.

Like this is a, like, for example, and I'm sure this is not the situation, but let's say this person's like doing coke or doing drugs or like, then if they. are going to hang out with you on the condition that they can smoke a cigarette around you like let them do that for now like if you know what I mean or yeah like pick your battles and let them let them be

As long as they're not putting themselves in danger or, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not being very articulate. I want to know who you are. Yeah. Yeah. Like my, my friend Carolyn Taylor, who I've talked about so much, who would just, when I was like.

on sofas and such a mess and she would just take me for a burger once a month and and sometimes we do laser tag or we do painting and it was like sober activities that were really fun and I would look forward to it and I could I could be a mess and I could I could smoke cigarettes and you know what I mean? But I looked forward to it all month and it was so wholesome. I think that's great. Yeah. Well, thanks for reaching out, asking the questions.

Just really, really appreciate you guys and gals and ladies and themdies and everybody. We do. Yeah. And share episodes with friends, help build the community. I've been really enjoying the advice questions like that one from Indira. That's, that's juicy or yeah, but anything. Yeah. We remain open. We remain open. If you have like an encounter with a ghost or something that you want to share, I'd like to hear it. Maze all ears and wide eyes. And go to speak.

pipe.com slash handsome pod to submit your questions. Yeah. Share episodes, rate review, check out YouTube, all of it. And I don't know until next time. Keep it. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited. by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast!

That was a HeadGum podcast. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? not checking that you packed your favorite sweater for a weekend up in the mountains. My favorite sweater is so warm that I can only wear it in the coldest weather, so I take it...

Every opportunity that I can get. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.