Pretty Little Episode #52

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check and see if your favorite independent bookstore has any books by local authors. Nothing is more thrilling than reading a book and saying, hey, I'm... recognize that place.

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Pretty little episode.

Welcome to the Handsome Pod. And our pretty little episode, it's Fortune Feimster, one of your hosts. And I am another one of your hosts, and my name is Tig Notaro. Yay! Yay. Hi. Yay. Hi, Tick. Yay. Hi, Fortune. I was laughing. I don't know if it was today or yesterday telling Stephanie about, I think May pointed it out, that how many times, how often we show our guns on the podcast.

Yes. Yeah, we do do that a lot because we're proud of them. Well, May's got the like full on working out. Yeah. Like pushups. May's got the bulge. What is this called? Bicep? Arm. Oh. And I just have a little crease in the, is that tricep? I don't know. Yeah, I have a seventh grade education, but. But this summer, I got a trainer. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Well, yeah, I, you know, I'm almost 55.

I'm 54 and a half. Hard to believe. Easy, easy to believe. And, you know, I got to work on my bones and strengthen my body and stuff. It's been hard. I've tried a couple of times before with no success because of work and whatever. Yeah. But now that I'm... I'm taking things down a notch a little bit with my schedule. I'm getting kind of excited about it, you know, because right now I just walk and tread water.

And it's really interesting because I start to think I'm in decent shape, which I am. Right. But then I'm not somebody that lifts weights. And so that really. reveals everything because i am just not i mean the trainer said here we're gonna do we're gonna go easy Mm-hmm. And it was a 10-pound weight that I had to, like, lift up on my side. And I was like, oh, boy. Oh, boy. And she was like, oh, okay, we can go down. All right, we'll see.

start we'll start light yeah she thought she was oh my gosh yeah so they say after 40 i think it is that lifting weights for women is most imperative When I was buying some fitness equipment for my home because I didn't want to join a gym. Yeah. And I told the guy, I said, you know.

uh should i get a rower you know one of those rowing machines and he goes honestly he goes how old are you and i told him he goes you need to get this uh weight machine he's like the weights are gonna do way more for you than the rower i was like and so do you lift Yeah, I have like a thing that has like the bar, the pull down. Okay. How long have you been lifting? I mean, I need to be doing it more. I try to do it like once or twice a week. I should be doing it like every other day.

And it's like one of those stations where it has the pull-down bar, it has the lateral thing, and then the one that goes up like this, and then the one that goes out like this. It's like six different things in one machine. Is it a Bowflex? It's not a Bowflex, but that's, you know, it's actual weights and stuff. Now, but I guess my question is, when did you start doing that? Years ago? No, like two days ago. Oh, okay.

Two years ago. Yeah. But I've been, because I've been treading more, I then get lazy and don't go in there. I should be adding it to the treading. And then I would be treading and shredding.

Shredding and shredding. My goodness, that is your new gym. Is it not? Treading and shredding. Shredding and shredding. Yeah. But, you know, for me, I have to start working on my belly. That's what I got to target next. That's where my fat goes. And what are you trying to do with your body ultimately and your health? I don't have any particular goal other than not being as chunky as I've let myself get.

Just trying to be a help. I don't have, maybe that's part of the problem is I don't have a specific goal, but it's just trying to, I put on a ton of weight. Not the tour I'm on, but the previous one. And when I look at pictures, I just can't believe how big I got. I'm just trying not to do that again. Got it. I've reached a point where I'm somebody that is not terribly into a really cut look.

But I was walking down the street in LA and I saw actually a guy that had a body that wasn't, he looked like he actually did things that made his body that. Yeah. You know what I mean? He didn't look like he had just full on gym body. Yeah. He looked like somebody that was, I don't know what he was doing, but I was like, God, that is, I really like that look. And it's like a subtle difference, but I think that's...

I'm only working out a couple of times a week, so it's not like I'm going to be some shredded beast anytime soon or ever, really. Well, you do all the hard work in the diet area, which is huge. that is something I need to reel in for sure all I've been doing better is eating a lot less but I now need to start making better choices

Well, I can't wait to make that smoothie with you. And I'm very curious if you'll like it. Stephanie loves it. I make it for us every morning. And it is her favorite thing in the world. mine aside from my other favorite things in the world but anyway it's just an interesting thing to um you know it's that thing of like I was younger I took it for granted

And then now I'm like, oh, I'm 54. I better get a trainer. I got to work on my strength and I got to help my bones. And it's like, man, I'm like sliding in there in the last moment because. I really am. This is a great time to start. Sure. Anytime's a great time to start, but I should have started, like you said, when I was 40, if not sooner. But I was like, I'm not working out. I would just do things like hike or swim or do some cycling.

That's more than most people do. Yeah, for sure. But I can feel it. I like feeling sore, but I don't like the I can't move the next day vibe. Right. You might notice a little more muscle on me. You're going to notice you're lifting weights and you're a lot stronger. That's right. You're doing a good job lifting those weights and not being a little girly girl. I am such a girly girl. Should we hear what questions are waiting for our little ears to hear? Please.

Hello, May, Tig, and Fortune. This is Tracy from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Edmonton. And I love, love, love the show and have listened to every episode since the beginning. Wow. my question for you is if you could join any band present or past What band would that be? I'm sure you have a quick answer to that one. I don't. You don't? Because my brain is jumping around like... Yeah. I'm a big Pretenders fan, but I...

would not want to be in the band. I feel like there's only room enough for Chrissy Hind, you know? Yeah, right, right. She didn't have the vibe of like, you know the band 38 Special? No. They're a Southern rock band. They have two drummers. Yeah. That's very generous to have two drummers. You don't really need two drummers, I don't think. But like, yeah, it doesn't feel like.

They're like, Carl needs health insurance. But yeah, I just don't think there'd be any room for me with Chrissy Hynde. When I saw... Paul Simon and Edie Raquel joined him on stage singing. I was like, God, their voices are so... insane insane i saw them when we were in austin for our live show yeah and um

I don't know. Anytime I insert myself into these fantasies, I'm like, well, I just ruined everything because I can't sing. So it's like Paul and Edie are singing. Well, I'm very basic. You'd be a third drummer. I know, I could be the third drummer of 38 Special. Actually, my cousin was like a promoter in Mississippi, and he would bring bands in. I was living down there for like a summer when I was like 21 or something. And he gave me a job going to pick up.

bands from the hotel to take him to the venue oh nice and I picked up 38 special oh okay but they're like these you know big old bearded southern guys yeah so nice But I was driving them, got lost in the backwoods of Mississippi with 38 Special in the car. And then, you know, before a concert, how a local radio station will like. play the band's music to get you pumped for the concert. I was driving around.

And 38 Special's music was coming on the radio while we're lost in the backwoods of Mississippi. And I was like, I just awkwardly turned to them. do you want me to turn this up or down? I just, I, I, it was very, it was, it was a fun little moment in my life. Really funny. Anyway. What band would you be in? I need to think more because you know who I'd be in a band with is Emily Saliers. Oh, yeah. Because I have performed with her on stage twice. One time in my Netflix special. Yep.

I played drums. And then one time I sang Closer to Fine with her on stage. So you would kick Amy out, Amy Ray. Well, no, Amy is more than welcome to join. I'm just saying Emily has been, I've had two experience. I've only had one experience with Amy. I've had two experiences. Well, yeah, I guess I'll just join the Indigo Girls, actually. Just join them. Yeah, because I was just, it's the most recent thought I had was like, when I played drums with the Indigo Girls.

That was fun. And I remember Emily just being like, who cares? Do your best. And then when I had to sing Closer to Fine and Ojai on stage. Yeah. I was like, oh gosh, I'm going to ruin this. And she was like, you're not going to ruin it. Like she wanted me to take a solo, essentially. Like she was way chill. And that's all I need. That's so her. Yeah. She's like the most positive person. Yeah, so I guess I'll just join the Indigo Girls as long as Amy's cool with it.

I think Amy would be fine. She listens to the handsome pod. She told me. Oh, my God. This all sounds familiar because I forgot that Stephanie and I sold a pilot for a multicam. Yeah. And my character. Oh, my God. My character. This is so funny. My character was delusional. Like I was totally a normal person, but I had blown up in my mind that.

I missed my big break because I was supposed to be the drummer of the Indigo Girls. But like if you dig, remember Thomas when we were working on that script? What was it like if you dig a little deeper, you find out that what happened? Like I wasn't ever in the Indigo Girls. I was never. Yeah, you had like convinced yourself because you.

Maybe I played with them once. Yeah. Yeah. And then I told everyone like, yeah, I was supposed to be the drummer of the Indigo Girls, but now I'm not. Now this is my life. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check and make sure that sailboat you're renting has a motor as well as sails. You don't want to be stuck out in the middle of the lake on a windless day.

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois. Kind of like the drummer Pete Best for the Beatles. He was the original Beatles drummer. Oh, wow. Boy, did he miss some cash. He missed out big time. But, you know, we got Ringo.

Yeah, I'm going to join the Indigo Girls. Okay. That's a good one. Thank you. I mean, I'm going based on my personal experience as well. I know what it is. Right. It's pretty obvious. The chicks. Got to. I got to. I mean, they don't need me. Yes, they do, Fortune. You kidding me? But performing with them in Nashville was one of the greatest nights of my life. Yeah. Their songs are so fun. I hope Alanis isn't listening. Well, I'll join Alanis too, but she really, she doesn't need me either.

Yeah, but the Chicks need you. The Chicks is easier to join because they're already a multiple person band. And adding another person doesn't. And you're Southern. Yeah. I know all their songs. Atlantis would be like, I feel like. people that Kind of love the chicks from listening on the radio, but maybe they're not diehard fans that know what everyone looks like. You could just be on the stage and blend in. Yeah. But like if Atlanta started touring and people were like.

who is that that would be more jarring yeah yeah and the chicks need you It's such a specific sound. Natalie would still be the singer. I could just join in the harmonies with the gals, with Marty and Emily. Right, but I don't think anyone would notice that you weren't... Yeah. The already part of the band. Yeah. And we would have like a sexy photo shoot together. Of course. Like short shorts and cowboy boots.

I love that we both went short, short. We got to see those gams. Girl, you can't hold, you can't withhold the gams. Well, when they go back on tour again, I might try to wiggle my way into another song, Don't You Worry. Oh, of course. And then also, you and I need to... join little big town, the two of us. That's right. Since we both know them. I mean, well, you know, Amy and Emily too. I've met the chicks, but long ago.

Yeah. Well, cool. I love this. We've got quite a touring life coming up. A big future ahead of us. Yes, we do. Let's hear Tracy's answer. I'm thinking if I could join any band, it might be... the mamas and the papas for a very weird reason. Their vocals, their harmonies, their music was so beautiful and the era they lived in was so interesting even though on the flip side their personal lives were complete gong shows maybe not the best band to join but that's what i think i'd do

Thanks. Keep up the great work. So wait, is Tracy saying she wants to join because there's a lot going on? because they were such a cool had such a cool sound and it was a cool era but you know obviously that the band had some oh i thought she said she wanted to join for a weird reason uh

I don't know. I don't know. You know me. I'm in and out. But I love the mamas and the papas. All the leaves are brown and the sky is green. You just said you love them and then you like hesitated on the first few words. I've been for a while. on a winter's day I love the line I'd be stopped into a church and I began to pray I got down on my knees. Oh, that's what it is. I pretend to pray. I hesitate on the first line because if you remember with my Atlantis experience from what we told you.

I second guess myself on the lyrics. So I was like in my head, is that the right one? And it was. Yeah, I got their lyrics jumbled up just now because it's stopped into, I love the way. They say stopped into a church. Love that. Stopped into a church. We were just listening to that this morning. It's a great tune. It is. All right, Tracy. Well, good question and good answer. And good luck. Good luck. Good luck, Tracy. What else you got, Mr. Thomas?

Hello, handsomes. I am a pretty little lady from North Carolina. My name is Sarah. My question is, do you have a favorite word? And I don't mean a word that you use frequently. I mean... Just a word that you love the sound of it or what it means. I do. A word not that you necessarily use often, but it's just your absolute favorite. Sarah, I hear you. I got it. And my word is telepathy. Oh, I love saying that word. Yeah.

Telepathy. Telepathy. That's a good one. There was a song in the 80s. I can't remember the singer, but the guy, he sings, I'm glad you picked up on my telepathy now, baby. Thomas, will you Google that line and tell me who that was? That's a good song. That makes me think this is a different word. Greg Abbott. Greg Abbott. That's the governor of Texas. His name was Greg. What is the name of the song?

Gregory Abbott. He sings that song, the governor of Texas. What is the name of that song? Telepathy. Shake you down. Okay, yeah. I like the word, the biblical. Word Thessalonians. Here we go. What is it? Thessalonians. Thessalonians. That's an interesting... Why can't I say it now? Telepathy. Telepathy made me think of that. My favorite word, we all know. I cannot be denied the power of this word. Cooter is my favorite.

This is my favorite word. It will always be my favorite word. Cooter, cooter, cooter. It also stands for a turtle. So I could just be talking about turtles all the time. We don't know. Wait, a cooter is a turtle? Yeah. Okay. And other things. And if you're asking me for my favorite Spanish word, mariposa. Oh, that's a butterfly. It sure is. Yes. Mariposa. There's those words for you. Oh, my goodness. It's a bilingual episode. Trace. Oh, my gosh. Fortune. I'm deep in the woods here trying to.

translate what you're talking about. Let's hear Sarah's word. Let's hear it. My answer is sesquipedalian. What? Which means a person who uses really long words. Thanks, guys. Can't wait to hear your answer. Love you. Classic Sarah. Classic Sarah. She looked that one up. Oh, boy. And studied it. But to be fair, May probably would have chosen that word. May would have had some kind of...

Long word. Yeah. Not cooter. Not cooter. I gave you a biblical one, a ridiculous one, and a Spanish one. That's well-versed. Well, I gave you telepathy. That's amazing. Say the word. Telepathy. There we are. It just takes my brain a second.

Well, let's move on into where we're going to be and what we're doing. Fortune, I'm going to tell you that I'm going to be at the West Hampton Beach Performing Arts Center in West Hampton Beach, New York, August 17th. And then Fortune, Provincetown, Town Hall, Provincetown, Massachusetts, August 23rd. Fortune, Dynasty Typewriter, right there in Los Angeles, California, September 21st.

And then Fortune, Beau Ravage Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, September 27th. And then boom, Dynasty. Boom, Largo. Boom, Dynasty. And so on and so forth. Go to tignotaro.com to see where I'm going to be working out new stuff. Toronto, I'm heading to you soon enough and I will be at the comedy bar.

but I don't know when yet. Check tignotaro.com. Fortune, what is going on with you? What are you doing? I'm going to be at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival, August 23rd in Spokane, Washington. And then coming up in September, San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, and Richmond, Virginia, Washington, D.C., Portland, Maine, Boston, and Burlington, Vermont.

And then, I don't know. I feel like that's all we can do at this point. That's right. Until next time. Until next time. Keep it. Keep it. Pretty handsome. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.

What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check to make sure that the water in your bird bath is nice and fresh for all the various birds in your garden. Birds like a fresh bath just as much as humans do.

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.