This is a HeadGum Podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check that when you're packing your electronics for a work trip, you also make sure you pack all the cords, wires, adapters, cables, and wires. you need to ensure that those electronics work properly.
Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Pretty little episode. Welcome! You go ahead, Mae. Tell them who you are. Well, I'm Mae Martin. And I am Tig Notaro, and we are the hosts today.
of a pretty little episode of this gorgeous little bite size app yes and what people don't know is the scrambling that was going on before we started. I'm flustered. We've had tech problems. I don't know what's going on, but as long as you can hear me. I would say you had tech problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's infuriating. Like I wish we were doing this through like a tin can microphone with a string. It'd be more reliable.
I mean, we kind of are at this point because your mic broke. My mic broke. Yeah. I was using it last night. I recorded a little song. Wow. Well, I guess you rocked it out a little too hard. Yeah, I blew it. Blew it. I was scrambling, too. As you know, Max and Finn are in the middle of a massive baseball tournament. Oh, my God. I mean, I hate to be the... cliche parent that is like, it's baseball all the time, but it is baseball all the time.
Do these games like dominate the topic of conversation in the house? Oh my, it's yes. And then the Dodgers are on the TV and then they're out throwing the ball to each other. And then they go to practice and they're on the rec league. They're on the travel team. They're on the all-star team. So there's like so many different teams and practices.
Yeah. And then their grandfather is a coach on one of the teams. So it's very, very crazy. I can't believe there's an all-star team. Is that like all the MVPs from the different teams? You know, I'm not the person to ask. I just today yelled, hit a grand slam. I don't know who it was, Finn or Max up to bat. And Stephanie turned and said,
I'm surprised you even know what that means. Do you know what that means? And I said, I actually heard somebody say what that means today, which means the bases are loaded. And if he hit, I guess if he hit it. out of the park yeah then everybody runs home that's the dream I was standing yesterday uh I was at the park you know the the games are going on I was standing right at the fence watching
And this dad came up to me and he said, hey, Tig, is it the fourth? And I said, oh, I don't know what's going on. I don't know at all what's going on, even though I'm there all the time. Right. I still to this second, don't know if he must've met the fourth inning. I wouldn't, I would have been like, it's May 24th. Yeah. So, but this was yesterday. So he didn't mean May 24th, but.
Who knows when this will air, right? But so, yeah, I just, I know when people hit the ball. I know when people catch the ball. I know when they're running. I know roughly when the game starts and when it ends. I just can't.
relate to the feeling of like they must of them being excited to go and play a sport like when I was a kid and had soccer practice or whatever I would just dread it till the moment I got there like putting my knee pads on or whatever guards yep shin guards knee pads all but they love it they love getting all dressed up and Yeah, they love it. And, you know, all their little friends are there, some from school, some that they've made through the leagues and or league. And yeah, they just.
They have a blast, but it's it's it's pretty. It's just nonstop. It's nonstop. But when baseball season ends, it becomes basketball season. It never ends. It doesn't. It does not end. Stephanie said there's three months in the year when there's no baseball going on, and that is completely dominated by basketball. Right, right, right, right. I played soccer and I was very into it. I was excited to put my knee pads on and my shin guards and my cleats. I loved getting new cleats. And I remember...
Getting a new pair of cleats. And my mother telling me, don't wear these on the cement because it will wear the whatever spikes down. So I was. I was wearing my cleats after getting the new pair. I was so excited playing in my yard. And then I wanted to go to my friend's house. So guess who crawled across the street? On all fours? Yes. Oh, my God. Because if you know me well, you know that one of my favorite childhood books was, wow. What is her name? Do I know me well?
Amelia Bedelia, who took things very literally. And I think I must have clearly related to that because I took things and I still do. I take things very literally. Right. Like if someone says hop in the shower, you're hopping. Yeah, a little bunny appears. But yeah, I took it so literally and seriously and I crawled across the street. So dangerous to be crawling. I know, I know. Oh, man. Anyway, so that was my scrambly day. Well, I've been scrambling, too. I woke up, I had a massage. Oh.
Not so scrambly, by the way. Yeah, kind of the opposite, but I had to rush there at like 9.30 in the morning. Then I went to this place. Why did you have to rush? Because I woke up too late, you know me.
I went to this place, the Pixel Rooms in Echo Park, that you've got to take Max and Finn. It's like... um fun games and activities and there's a room where it all lights up and then you play the floor is lava you have to avoid the red and you have to step on the blue and the green and it's it's such a workout it's so fun and this is with kids as well
Well, there was a birthday party there of 20 kids, but I had my private time in the room with, not by myself, that'd be bleak, but with my friend Joe. Oh, old Joe. Old Joe. I was sweating. And so this is for adults or children? Yeah, and it's one of the only activities I've done that is truly fun for both. They also have a laser maze there where you have to...
you know, not touch the lasers, but it's super fun. And there's like a soundtrack that someone's designed for the laser maze. It's like laser maze, but I would listen to it. I would, if I had it on Spotify, I'd be grooving. And what is this place called? Pixel Rooms. Pixel Rooms. Okay. I don't work for them. This is not an ad, but I've been so many times that the guy, I'm on a first name basis. The guy's like, I'll just text you if there's a new game. That's hilarious. And so...
Yeah, Max and Finn watched The Floor is Lava. I haven't seen them watch it probably in the past year, maybe. But they play it in their rooms. I'll hear them playing The Floor is Lava. Perfect. Yeah, they would love it. this yeah okay this is good to know yeah wow well um should we um should we get a question from uh our listeners i'd love to one of our listeners one of our lovely wonderful handsome
Pretty little listeners. Yes, please. Hello, handsoms. My name is Anna. I'm calling you, not calling you, recording from Seattle, Washington. And I love the show and all three of you. The only one I haven't seen live is May, and I have to fix that. Anyway, my question for you is, I just went to a baseball game with my son and thinking about walk-on music. So if you were in a sport or...
some event where there was walk-on music for you, what would your walk-on song be? Wow, so timely. Is that the work of our producer, Mr. Thomas? That was remarkable. Yeah. Also, I love her energy. Isn't it crazy? You can tell someone's energy right away from. Yeah. I'm just like, what a fun person. She also sounds Southern.
Oh, really? Yeah, I would like for her to get in touch and let me know if I'm right. Do you have stand-up walk-on music? Well, I guess if you're touring or something, you choose your walk-on. Yeah, or sometimes I'll just walk out. Sometimes I like to surprise the audience and then just appear. Yeah. Because a lot of times I don't have an opener because I want to use the whole hour and a half to kind of fumble around.
with material but um so you wander out when the lights are still up or not not when the lights are up but like when you know people are kind of The lights go down and there's some cheering and they're anticipating a voice or something or an introduction and I'll just walk out and then they can add it up. It's me. I like that.
When I was performing in Canada over the past, you know, whenever I was there filming Star Trek, they started bringing me up on stage to some hilariously... bad like not bad meaning not at all right for me like gangster rap no it was more like i've got like i got the power or something like that or
You know, I don't even know if that was the song, but it was something like that. And at first I was like, oh, that's not quite right. And then I thought, oh, that's really funny, actually, to start my show out.
with that kind of energy and then i just come out like eeyore yeah hi hello i've gone out before for a while i was going out to one direction steal my girl because it's so upbeat and joyful um but the lyrics are about being 16 and being in love with a 16 year old girl so it doesn't it doesn't really work because they were teens when they wrote it yeah but what else
oh it'd be good to go out to like queen we will rock you or something sure and then really milk it like let it play while you're standing there get the whole audience going to tell jokes yeah yeah yeah and then walk off when the song's done it would be good to go out to like the uh like a theme song like a really like the friends theme song or really well-known existing themes or like the um i was telling max and finn they should go out to jingle bells
Yeah, something incongruous. Well, another mother on the team put together a playlist of everyone's walk-on songs. Oh, nice. Yeah, Max and Finn, of course. course walk out to eminem and kendrick lamar they do yeah oh my god i would love to see that yeah it's pretty cute
Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check what time the running club starts their weekly runs so you can be there on time. You don't want to be racing to catch up with the group if you can help it. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Should we hear Anna's answer? We should. Mine would be I Got The by Labby Sifre. And I don't know which part of it because it's a song that's got kind of multiple parts. I got the. But yeah, that's my answer. Love the show. Thank you so much for taking my question. Bye.
God, music's good, isn't it? Music is good. I don't think I mentioned my walk-on, did I? You said... Oh, I got the power, but that's not my walk-on. But, you know, it's good. I've walked on to Start Me Up by the Stones. Oh, yeah. Great choice. Yeah, yeah. All right. Thank you, Anna. Yes, Anna. That was wonderful. And what else we got, Mr. Thomas?
Hello, handsome pod. This is Charlie from Sesha in the UK. And my question to the three of you is, what is the biggest fail that you've made while you've been traveling? What have you done that's made you feel a little bit silly at the moment, but you can laugh about now? I'm like giggling at Charlie. It's hilarious. It sounds like she's about to laugh so hard. I know. Yeah, she has some real joyful energy. Was she asking a travel fail? Yeah, travel fail. I can think of a lot of yours.
You've like lost luggage. You've broken femurs. Well, I didn't break a femur. I fractured my wrist and then I ended up on crutches because somebody cut me off with their gigantic suitcase. But I have a good travel fail. Okay. Again, lost luggage. I was in Ireland. I'm in Ireland. I've lost my luggage. I have to stand in this long line to talk to somebody at the counter, fill out information. And I finally get up there.
And now there's a line behind me, of course. Yeah. And I'm talking to the woman and she's going through all these different questions. And then she says, are you a farty? And I said, uh, excuse me. And she said, area fire tea. And I was like, i was so stunned and i was also mortified because there's an entire line of people waiting behind me and i was i was like
on what planet are you asking me this question? And she's like, are you farty? And I'm thinking, okay, well, I was on a long flight. I mean, who knows what's happened? And it turns out she's asking my age. But also what? Because filling out. I have no idea. I have no something to do with the paperwork. But I, of course, didn't hear it that way. And I was just like.
I really did not know how to answer this woman. I was like, you're not Farty. And I'm like, no. It was such an embarrassing misunderstanding. Are you Farty is the best? Are you a farty? Oh, my God. Sure. I don't know. I've been asleep for hours. I just landed. Yeah, I just want my luggage. Why are you asking me this? That's pretty good. Did you get it? Did you get the luggage?
We say, I lost my luggage. They lost your luggage. Yeah, they lost my luggage. That's a good point. Thank you for taking that off my plate. Yeah, don't carry that with you. That's not your burden. No. I can only think of my parents' travel fail, but I was in the car. I was four and my brother was eight. And I remember it vividly that...
We were on this trip through Europe and we were driving. And the big debate was, should we pull over and get a hotel or are we going to make it to get the ferry from Brindisi to Corfu? And my mom was like... We should stop. Wait, where were you? What are these places? We were in Italy and we're going to take a ferry to Greece.
Oh, OK. And driving through the night, two small kids in the back, like my mom's just like, James, let's stop. Let's just get a room somewhere. And he's like, no, we're going to make it. We're going to make it. And as we arrived, we see the ferry like pulling away. And the tension in the vehicle, like I remember it to this day. And I don't think they spoke. We ended up sleeping in the car.
for like six hours and then getting like the first morning ferry and they did not speak to each other on the ferry either. They were, my mom was so mad, but I'll remember it forever. My poor dad, like, I mean, also he should have stopped, but. Now, was there an actual altercation between the two or did they go immediately into silence? Immediate silence.
complete silence but apoplectic rage in the car but like not a word spoken and just me and my brother wide-eyed knowing that something fucked up has happened And you didn't know it was the ferry. No, we knew. Oh, okay. Oh my gosh. That is hilarious. Yeah. I bet if I brought it up, they would still. It would still be a sore point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Oh, wait, should we hear Charlie's answer? We should. I bet Charlie's going to be giggling.
And my answer to that question is about seven years ago, I was backpacking around Europe and saw on the map, oh, Vienna. I thought, oh, people speak highly of that. that city, I'll go visit it. So I hopped on my little train with my backpack, ended up in Vienna. I was there for a few hours and I thought, where are all these canals that people talk about?
What I had done, ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, and everything in between, is confuse Vienna with Venice. I wasn't going to be in the right country, was I? Very silly. oh charlie oh charlie classic charlie if we know charlie and we do i mean what else would you expect right but with that attitude how could anything ever really be wrong for long because you're just
I got my backpack. I jumped back in the train and I headed back to Venice. My friend, my childhood friend, Shannon was, this was before. Before 9-11 when things were way more lax. Yeah. And she was overseas and she had gotten on a flight and she drank too much, fell asleep, something like that, and woke up. She had a layover and she was supposed to get off.
And she slept through the layover on the plane. Oh, no. And woke up as the flight was taking off to another country. Oh, my God. And she said she was running up the aisle to the front of the plane while it was there. She was like, ah! anyway have you ever heard that that molly shannon story it's in her autobiography and she was telling it on on you know talk shows for a while but that
Yeah, back when things were lax enough, she and her friend, they were 11 years old, just walked onto a flight. And they said they went to the airport for this purpose. And we're like, we're going to go to New York. And then they just said, oh, yeah, our parents are on the plane.
and they the woman was like okay fine and then they just got on the plane they went to New York and they had like ten dollars with them and then they called her dad I think from a pay phone and we're like we're freaking out and I think he was like I can't remember, but it's a great story. Wow. Very Home Alone. Wow. Yeah. That is fascinating. Those are the days. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. Well, that was not just fun, but quick, man. That just...
That flew by. Keep sending in your questions, please. We love hearing them. Yes, we do. Go to speakpipe.com slash handsomepod and leave your cues. That's an abbreviation for question. Oh, I was going to say, I don't know what that is. And yeah. Do you have anything coming up that you want to plug? I sure do. June 13th, I'll be at Largo in Los Angeles. June 14th, I'll be at Eureka Springs Pride. But I think that's basically sold out. June 21st, Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles.
los angeles august 17th get this west hampton beach new york whoa I have two shows, August 23rd in Provincetown, Massachusetts. The first show is sold out. I think there are some tickets left for the second show. The things I really want is for people to come to these three big music shows I'm doing, June 10th in San Francisco. go June 12th in Portland and June 13th in Vancouver. If you go to maymartinmusic.com, I'll tell some stories, but mainly I'm going to be playing music.
Doing meet and greets and I'd love to see you. Tell your friends about Handsome. Share episodes, rate, review, subscribe. Also to YouTube because you get to see Biggie. You get to see Fortune's Gam. You get to see May's face, okay? Okay, that's a sale right there. And then you also get to see me counting this list of things you get to see. Right? Yeah, exactly. Okay, and then what? Until next time, keep it pretty handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome. pod. What a podcast! That was a HeadGum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.
Like, you know, to check and see if your local area has any fun outdoor events coming up this summer. There's nothing like spending time outside with the family, enjoying a strawberry festival or crafts fair. Checking first is smart. So check. Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.