Pretty Little Episode #37 - podcast episode cover

Pretty Little Episode #37

May 02, 202522 min
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Summary

Tig, Mae, and Fortune discuss their recent tour, listener questions about gross-out triggers, favorite nuts, and silly things they've become obsessed with. They share personal anecdotes about touring challenges, encounters with spiders, and surprising product attachments, while engaging with listener queries. The episode wraps up with podcast credits and a promotion of their merchandise.

Episode description

Tig and Fortune discuss fave nuts, weird and creepy stuff, and silly products on a jam-packed pretty little ep for the ages!


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Transcript

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Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. With a $5 meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. It's for a limited time only. Pretty Little Episode. Oh, Fortune Marie, is that you that I see across from me? I'm a poet. It sure is. Welcome to our pretty little episode. Yes, welcome, welcome.

It's good to see you, my friend. I am feeling extra gay today. You're looking extra gay today. As I said, it looks like your coming out party. It looks like I just got off the baseball field. Did you not? No, I just recorded radio. But I was doing your thing, treading water, and had to go right into my radio and haven't showered. So hence the half. So you're full of chlorine? Yeah. Are you somebody that goes to sleep with your body covered in chlorine? I'll rinse off.

Okay. But I am a morning shower gal. Okay. So whatever happens during the day, you're like, whatevs, I'm going to bed. I'm taking this to the bed. Yeah. Wow. Because I need the shower in the morning to wake me up. You're a night shower person. Um, I'm just kind of a whenever it feels right, like I showered right before I got on today. Yeah, tell us more. well that was it that was the end with your loofah uh-huh my loofah and um

you know, shaved my goatee. Yeah. No, I shower at different times. I, you know, I mean, do you really care? I think our listeners do. I'll tell you what I don't do is I do not... Tread water and then spend the day with chlorine body and then go night night. Yeah, it does have a smell to it. Oh, and also it's gross. It's not like the grosses. Okay, what's grosser than having chlorine on you? I don't know. See? Like dirt? See? See? Now, can we acknowledge that we just got back from our...

Our handsome tour? Yeah, we had awesome shows in Nashville and Austin. Mm-hmm. How did you enjoy them? Oh, my Lord, I really enjoyed them. Yeah, yeah. Our live shows are just life-affirming to me. it's pretty incredible right yeah yeah it's not like i don't enjoy doing our audio recordings but There is something about being in front of those live audiences that is just magical.

It's really magical. And it's so different from doing standup because, I mean, if you've seen our After Midnight episode, it's that kind of vibe where we can go rogue. And if anybody tells me you can go rogue, man. There is no turning back for me. Yeah. Yeah. So did you have a good time? I had a great time. The passion for the podcast is.

Still a year and a half in really mind blowing to me. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty great. Yeah. And it's always surprising. It's like I was telling Stephanie after we dropped Max and Finn at school this morning that. It's always fun to find out who listens to it because, of course, I'm not lying in bed thinking, oh, I wonder who from my past is listening to this show. But our mutual friend Jamie Babbitt. Yeah. writer, I think she's more a director, producer, but

She texted me and Fortune saying... Because she heard us talk about her on the podcast. Yeah, and she was like... Yeah, I did set up a dinner for you two to meet each other because I thought you'd be friends. And I was right as I sit here listening to you on your podcast. And then I was like, oh, God. How funny. Jamie Babbitt listens to us. Do you have those moments where somebody is like, oh, yeah, you were saying that on Handsome. I'm like, you listen to this show?

Yeah, or like I'll go on different talk shows or whatnot, and the producers are like, we all listen. And I'm like, whoa, so cool. Yeah. And I'm always thinking, God, what have I shared on here? I know. And you have shared a lot. I probably have revealed way too much. I know. I have those moments as well.

But yeah, it was just so fun. And then it was fun to be back in, I mean, I so enjoy Nashville, but it was also so fun to be back in Austin, where I think I mentioned I lived there for just a blip in time. But it's someplace that I return to like once or twice a year because I have family and. do my you know stand-up shows and whatever but um it just feels really good and it's also nice stephanie and max and finn love austin so it just feels like a version of coming home

Even though it's not quite. Right. Yeah. A very familiar place. I love that. But it's definitely not. A handsome show is definitely not something that I invite my family to because they don't listen to the show. And I think it would be. Confusing. Inside baseball things. I think they would just be like, what the hell is this? Well, one of my friends, I had a good friend come and she brought another friend who I don't think listens to the pod. And she had said she had a great time.

Oh, okay. Well, my aunt and uncle are like 83. They definitely were not going to be into it. But... I wondered, actually, does my family know I'm here for Handsome? Because I had been there two weeks before for the human rights campaign. Right. I was in Austin for that. And so I told them I was there for that. But then I didn't tell them I was back. Do you ever struggle with that of like who you tell you're in town and when and...

Yeah, I usually don't tell anyone, but they see my tour schedule. And it's always, I caught up with a lot of friends this past weekend, which is great. But there are, when I'm in the thick of the tour, like in six months. It's so hard to find that extra energy. I know. I was in Houston before Austin, clearing out my parents, doing the final sweep of their...

storage space and shutting that down. And I had two days off in Houston. And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna reach out to some old friends. And then I was like, Oh, my God. I can't get up and do anything. Yeah. And I just I saw an old friend who I'd known. You met her backstage at Handsome. Yeah. She's who I spent my whole Texas trip with. I have the good intentions to see people, but yeah, it gets so hard. Well, that's a lot of energy output on a tour. Yeah.

and uh traveling so you know do you get people going oh you think you're too good for me now that has happened yeah oh really and what it's been a minute it's been a minute but early earlier days yeah And is that what you felt was, I am too good for these people? No, it was just... Each of my tours are a hundred and. 50 shows in 100 cities. Yeah. And that's not even my full-time job. Right, right.

It's just a lot of output. No doubt. Especially for you, man. A lot of output from Fortune Feimster. That's right. Yeah. But... All good stuff. I'm glad we did it. For sure. It was really, really fun. Should we check in with listeners and see if anybody has a question for us? Yes, clean.

How dare you. Hey, handsomes. I'm Natalie. I'm a pretty little lady from Vermont. Hey, I'm Lily. I'm from Athens, Georgia. Oh. And we go to school together. We go to Mount Holyoke. It's in Western Mass. We think you should come visit. There's lots of handsomes here. Thomas, will you please put that on the list? Our question is, what's something weird that creeps or grosses you out? Clearly, chlorine on a body for TIG. Yeah, yeah. I already answered that.

Were they not listening? It can be like anything that grosses you out. I mean, this is like more of a thing, but spiders, I hate spiders so much. They gross me out. So you don't pick them up like me with your bare hands? Mm-mm. I'm all like, that's what I turn into a dainty lady. A pretty little lady. Pretty little dainty lady. They are. I'm not into them. None of them. Don't like them. When I was touring in Australia, our tour. Oh, are we talking about Australia again? Yeah, down on the.

He showed me a huntsman spider that was at his house. And I'm telling you, like the size of a bat, like basketball. And I would die if I saw that. And they're just like, yeah, look at that. Look at that big spider. We're just going to leave it up there. So wait, where was it? In his, like, doorway. Oh. Look up, next time you have a free minute on Google, look up Huntsman Spider. And be prepared to. So it's like in the doorway. Just hanging out. And so what if it has to relieve itself?

How big is that? I didn't dig into the ins and outs of that. Right. Okay. I'm looking at it now. They're ginormous. Y'all, you don't even know. I probably wouldn't mess with that, but I do have to say I really enjoy making Stephanie squeal. I'll have to look it up. But that was for the YouTube folk. If you'd like to see the size of the, I was going to say the podcast.

of the spider head on over to youtube but i couldn't see it apparently um they're friendly but that doesn't matter to me like they shake hands all all eight legs they kind of do their thing they leave you be But I don't want that. I don't want that. I dated somebody that had a spider in a web. And I lived with her briefly, like 20 something years ago, here in LA and in our closet.

There was a large spider, not that, I'm sure not that big, but probably the size of the palm of my hand, in a spider web, just chilling, and she did not want it to be bothered. So we just kind of got our clothing and I followed the spider rule. But I do, I enjoy making Stephanie squeal because I'll pick up spiders with my bare hand and throw it out. And Max and Finn are very... They think it's cool. And they love seeing Stephanie squeal. But what creeps me out?

Grosses me out. You know what? I am not great with blood. Oh, yeah? I am somebody that will basically pass out if I see blood. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. So... I'm not great in medical emergencies. Okay. Yeah. I am not great at medical emergencies if there's blood. Yeah. I don't have a thing with blood. Really? You can just like... Deal. I get lightheaded. I get faint.

Interesting. Yeah. Cannot do it. I always say if there was a murder, I didn't do it. I can promise you I did not do it. You're like, I promise. Yeah. I hate blood. Yeah. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

Like you know to check that you've got plenty of sneaky places to tuck yourself away in when you're getting ready to play a big old game of hide and seek. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Should we hear their answer? Yeah.

I don't know why. They've always creeped me out. They're very flimsy. I think they kind of look like witch fingers. And my friends will text me when there's baby corns in the dining hall and say, watch out. There's baby corns today. My answer is bouncy houses. They don't bounce. Thanks, guys. Love the podcast. And keep it pretty handsome. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Those questions could not wait. Could they? That's so funny. Have you seen those cans of baby corn and it's called corn holes?

Oh, I didn't know they were called cornholes. Oh, no, baby cornholes. Okay. I've seen cans of them, but I didn't know that's what it was called. Yeah. Some cans will say baby corn holes. We'll keep them away from them. Uh-huh. That's right. I love that a bounce house creeps her out. Yeah, yeah. Just because it doesn't bounce. I've seen the bounce houses blow away on YouTube. Wait, why are you calling them bounce houses? Aren't they bouncy house?

bouncy houses yeah a bounce house whatever well i'm curious do you call them bounce house a bounce house bouncy house i think either works no For sure. But I've just never heard Bounce House. Well. I don't mean to get all, you know. I don't mean to get whatevs. Yeah, but I just know him as bouncy house. I'll keep it in mind. Okay, thanks. Should we move on to another question before Fortune and I really get into a bad argument? Yes.

Hi, Tig, May, and Fortune. This is Izzy coming to you from up here in Alaska. And my question for you is what are your top three favorite nuts to eat? An Alaska gal. I love Alaska. I do too. And I love nuts. I haven't been in a long time, but I went on a cruise to Alaska, and it was a highlight. With your mother? No, this was with a friend's family back in the day. Oh, okay. All right. time of my life do you enjoy nuts i do i can name my favorite nuts let's hear it number one

Cashews. That's your number one is cashews? For nuts? Yeah. Wow. Okay. Number two is a good old peanut. Cashews over a peanut. For sure. Wow. All right. And then number three would be Pine Nut. Pine Nut. Do you like a pine nut raw or cooked? I like it a little seared. Yep. On a salad? Oof. Ooh, sear it a little bit and then put it on top of a salad. Love that. Heck yes. I follow, um, not perfectly, but I, I follow a, um,

a diet called the how not to die diet. Oh, yeah. But one of the things that this diet recommends is one handful of mixed nuts per day. Really? Yeah. And the nuts that I have, well, I guess I'm supposed to say the top three of my favorites. I would say probably... Peanuts would be my number one. Okay. And then pistachios. Those are high up for me as well. Pistachios? Oh. Yeah. God, they're good. Yeah. And then I would say probably after that. Walnuts. Okay.

Are you into cashews or? I do. I like cashews, but I'm not in the top three. I was about to say I don't go nuts over them. But in my daily. you know you're not supposed this this diet says you don't have more than a palm a handful of peanuts or of mixed nuts a day but i have pecan, walnut, cashew, A nice mix of things. I love it. Yeah, I love you too. Should we hear Izzy's answer? My top three are... almonds, pistachios, and cashews in that order.

Thank you. We didn't think about almonds. I know. Almonds are in my daily mix as well. Yeah. Excellent question, Izzy. Yeah. I wonder if Izzy drinks Izzy's. We'll never know. No, I bet we could know. I bet we'll hear from Izzy. My son Max loves him. Oh, really? I haven't had him. Let's get another question. All right, let's do it. Hi, Handsome Pod. My name is Balin. I live in Maine.

And I'm a huge fan of the three of you and your pods are a highlight of my week. Every week I'm always laughing and I think you all are hilarious. My question for you is, do you have something in your life you felt kind of silly buying or maybe it was a gift and you thought it was just like kind of ridiculous, but now you're obsessed with it and you're really into it?

I'm like looking around like, what happened here? I have to say, you know, I got a fanny pack and I had a little bit of a feeling of like. Am I really getting a fanny pack? And I really wore it in a fanny pack way. Hilarious. On the back of my fanny. And then I'd wear it in the front. And then I was like, all right, I'll do the cooler.

thing of you know across the shoulder but man now cannot live without a fanny pack really yeah a lot of people make fun of fanny packs and um no we have a handsome fanny pack you know I do know, but I'm not going to wear a handsome fanny pack. I would go through the airport with our sweatpants on all the time. Are you serious?

I swear to God. Oh, my God. They're the most comfortable sweatpants I own. Also, did Brad Paisley wander off with a handsome fanny pack? I don't know. Did he? God, I hope so. I think he got some hats. So he might be wearing a little cowboy hat sometimes. Funny. I'm trying to think what I bought. I'm looking at this yellow lamp in my office. And I... It's really bright and bold and doesn't fit any of the decor. and anywhere in my house, but it sits here on my desk.

And, um, I love it. Hold on. Let's see. Oh, this is crazy. yellow fun fun yellow lamp and you can't live without that i can't live i can live without it i just really like it it's like a bold bright fun piece in my room yeah um but i don't buy a lot of i'm not a big stuff gal i don't buy a lot of things same may bought his tap shoes that i hope to have a part of my

routine, more. I want to start tap dancing. Me and you both, kid. Me and you both. Let's do it. Let's do it. Should we hear Balen's answer? Yeah. Mine is an instant espresso machine where you don't have to pull the shots yourself. I mentioned I liked one in a family member's house, and then I received it as a gift for the holidays. And now I use it every day. Absolutely. That did remind me I did buy a Breville espresso machine.

and i use it all the time it was expensive and i thought this is really expensive but it's probably saved me a gazillion dollars on coffee wow that's a lot of money that's what you're spending Do you not go out for coffee, really, when you're home now? I will here and there, but usually I save that for the road. Yeah, same. Keep sending in your questions at speakpipe.com slash handsomepod if you want to ask us something.

So excited to hear from you guys. And also, if you want a handsome fanny pack or a little cowboy hat or a sweatpants. This keychain. What is it? A keychain? Oh, yeah. Key party chain. Yeah, man, that is good. That's real good. Head on over to our website, get you some. And tell your friends, share an episode. And until next time, what do you say? Keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

Like you know to check that you give your family pets a good grooming before scheduling that fur family photo shoot with adorable coordinating outfits. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state, fire, and casualty, insurance, company, and affiliate.

Hey, I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg. And I'm Kristen Schaal. And we're going to be hosting the new podcast, The Extraordinarians, where we are going to be interviewing... Extraordinary people doing extraordinary things, things that we have never and probably will never do. We talk to people who have broken records on slack lines suspended by hot air balloons. We're talking to people who have done multiple flips on trampolines. You'll have to...

Tune in to find out how many flips they did. Subscribe to Extraordinarians on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And watch videos. Watch it on the YouTube. There's new episodes that we release every Wednesday. We do. I've never seen you cry before. I know. I don't know. This is upsetting for all of us. They don't let us pray for lunch.

They do. The podcast is so competitive. They make you just talk and talk. Guys, we're watching a spin out. Please subscribe. Oh, man. Extraordinarians.

This transcript was generated by Metacast using AI and may contain inaccuracies. Learn more about transcripts.