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This content is intended for audiences in the U.S. only. Savings vary, terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. This is a HeadGum Podcast. Pretty little episode. Well, well, well. All three of our handsome faces together. Aw. As it should be. On a pretty little episode. All is well. We've reunited. That's right, Mae. What does it feel? Feels so good. Yes!
Oh my lord. This is a special pretty little episode because Fortune has a headset on. I have a headset on. Can I take your order? But we're... Closing out one year and heading into another. How do you guys feel about that? I feel really good about it. Really good. Apparently, numerologically, the next year is a goodie. Oh, wait, for you or for everyone? For me. Sorry, just for you. Okay. Yeah. What's on the horizon? Yeah. This psychic said a lot of growth, a lot of expansion.
And yeah, because I was like, oh, I think I'm just going to be like nesting, settling down. She was like, no, next year, 2025 is a big, fun year, crazy travel growth. And then she said, 2026, that's when you're nesting. Oh, wow. Okay, little bird. Yeah, you know me. That's our little bird. Spreading my wings and flying. But then nesting. And then nesting. That's the little bird. I bet next year is going to be great for you guys too. We'll see. I haven't been to a psychic yet.
Wait, why do you bet that next year is going to be great for us? Are you just trying to be positive? I think so. Yeah, I just feel bad being the only one who's going to flap my wings. Sore. so we don't know we don't know what's in store for us to have yet to see a psychic no but we should together we should oh my god please the psychic will be there trying to figure out what your relationship
We found your Groupon for the two-for-one psychic reading. Okay, and are you two a couple? I know we're podcast co-host. Not yet. You tell us. We're a podcast couple. We're actually in a thruple. Our other one. has already been so we'd like to know are we soaring yeah i always like a new year you know you you shed the last this year has been good and positive for the most part
A couple little hiccups here and there, but I still like the freshness of a new situation. Me too. I hate the pressure of resolutions, though. I don't do all that. I do them throughout the year. Yeah, yeah. That's smart. Every morn with your morning coffee. I haven't been drinking coffee. Really?
Yeah. So healthy. I've gotten really into my morning smoothie that I just I don't even remember. I just don't even want coffee every now and then. Like I had some coffee yesterday, but I can't believe how much it like. Kicked me off coffee. It's weird. Very bizarre. Have you guys ever had like a really electric New Year's countdown kiss?
Oh, good question. With each other? I mean, with my wife, of course. So many electric kisses where our mouths are sparking. New Year's Eve, in my opinion, is always kind of anticlimactic. build up and then you're like five four three two one yes yeah it's here we're still yeah it feels like you're about to lift off but you know yeah so if you had an electric kiss i guess that would be a nice cherry on top but
usually Jax and I have a smooch and you know she shoves a strawberry in her face I shove a macaroni or whatever is nearby me in my face wait why a strawberry in a matter that feels very new year's eve like does it a strawberry in the mouth no like a chocolate covered strawberry Well, you didn't add that. It's like, and then she, you know, of course has a prune and then we're in the new year. It just feels very New Year's Eve. I don't like strawberries, so that's not on my plate.
That's why I was trying to scramble to think of a different dessert. I totally understand. I just, you have to mention the chocolate dipped strawberry, not... You're right. I left that important part out. It's so important. And then we have a handful of grapes. We kiss. The grapes are a tradition in Spain.
for new year's yeah when it hits uh they have a whole thing where you go into um like the they do like public she's celebrating her arms i'm flapping my arms like may soaring but also you can do it at home and they hand out a bag of 12 grapes and at midnight like a clock rings every like how many ever seconds and you pop a grape in your mouth That's a lot of grapes. It's a lot of grapes. That's dangerous. Yeah, but it's their tradition. I did it in Barcelona.
I've never noticed your accent before. Only when I say Barcelona. Yeah, I thought you were Australian. That is their tradition. So I don't know. Look it up. Try it. You know, in Japan, at New Year's, people get a... a bowl of warm soba noodles that's how you bring people are you guys making things up right now no i swear bowl of warm noodles in japan
I'm not making mine up. Well, I read that that's a tradition. Okay. I shoved 12 grapes in my mouth. And now it's a tradition in Barcelona. I believe it's pronounced Bar... How do you say razor blades? Oh, I did get corrected on that. It's Rise Up. Yes. Oh, I see, I see. My bad. It's Rise Up. Rise up lights, not raise up lights. But honestly, either works. But thank you to our lovely listeners for pointing that out multiple times. Okay, but how do you say rise up lights in Spanish? Rise up.
Blaze. Okay. How do you say paella? Paella. I guess I just said it. In that one, so you can just say it normal. Paella. It's the thing with this thing. Sumo de piña. Gracias. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Anyway, enough about that. Guys, we have to answer some questions. We sure do. I really forgot that we were doing that. Yeah, let's do that. Did you think we were all just meeting on Zoom to hang out? Yes, kind of, yeah. We were just checking in.
let's do it yeah hello handsome it's jen from just east of toronto hey uh my question for you is if there was a movie made about your life What are three songs that would be included on the soundtrack? Three? That's... Whoa. Well, I would definitely have that song. Story of my life. Yes. Oh, that's a good one. One Direction. Oh my God. I didn't know that you were into that song. That's like my karaoke song. I love that song. Me too. I love it. And I can't play cool about it.
Yeah. So that's going to be in my movie. Look at you. The best part is where it kind of breaks down. It gets quiet. And then Zane sort of breaks it down. Story of my life. I don't know it well enough to name the boys. No, no. In fact, I didn't even know Harry Styles was in One Direction until recently. But I love that song. Okay. That's maybe opening credits. Oh, and then. Oh. I can't decide. There would have to be an Indigo Girls song in there. 100%. Get out the map.
Because it would be like, and then Tig traveled from Colorado. Get out the map. Get out the map. Get out the map. And it's you in a car. Yeah, there'd have to be an Indigo Girl. But also Pretenders. You can have all three. How come I can't think of one song? You've already got five. Willie Nelson. Ray Charles. Okay. You don't know me. Oh, that would have to be in there. Just like right when you're falling for somebody. Oh, yeah. Nice. Okay. So that's like maybe you meet Stephanie. Yeah.
Or when I met Fortune. Yeah. My life partner. Okay, mine would be right when I'm born, I want Breathe, Pink Floyd. I think. Or I want... You know the Black Sabbath song that's like... and then he goes what is this i see before me i want that like i'm a baby and i open my eyes for the first time and i look around i'm like what the fuck um And then I think I want Spice Girls. I like colors of the world. I get it. Yeah. Spice up your life. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe Benny. I mean, Benny and the Jets is my favorite song. Oh, that's a good one, too. Yeah. Maybe my team. Me, too. Like an Elton John. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe, what if I picked really filthy, you know, Nine Inch Nails? I want to fuck you like an animal. Oh, yeah. On the day you're born. I could see that. No, that's later. No, that's later. That's later. Cut. Cut. No. This doesn't fit.
You know what? I also, just to be on the nose, I want Gladys Knight's... What is the name of the song? If anyone should ever write my life story. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, you're picking very... Well, I wouldn't pick the ones that... Yeah, talking about life story. I like Gladys Knight. I would do Midnight Train to Georgia, but then I'd be like...
You know, when I moved to LA. LA proved too much for the man. And then I would come back and go, I'm actually from North Carolina, but you guys get. Wait, can we? Can we do Gladys Knight right now where you sing Gladys and I'll do the pips? Okay. Wait, what do I do? You can pip in. LA improved too much for the man. Too much for the man. Take, this was your idea. So he's leaving a laughing. I'm forgetting which one is this. He's coming to know. He's leaving. Leaving.
On a midnight train to Georgia. On a midnight train. Said he's going back. Going back to fine. This isn't going well. This is really bombing. I know you will. That's what I wanted to do. I know you will. Right. We'll work on it. We're working on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're almost there. Maybe at one of our next live shows. Yeah, we'll have it down. You know what I want when I arrive on the planet? I want Circle of Life from The Lion King.
that's a good one from the day we set foot on the planet yeah i want all else and john have you guys exhausted enough i feel like there's like eight songs in here okay yeah let's hear let's hear her answer maybe uh oh wait i can add another song if you want yeah let's do it not button joe the button maker no uh maybe brandy carlisle the story of course okay That's enough. I did Gladys Knight. That's a good one. And then maybe a Celine Dion song. New day.
Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know how to check that you have your passport before heading over the pond for a handsome holly bob. Yeah! Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the U.S. only. Savings vary. Terms apply.
Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. All right. Jen's answer. Jen's answer. My first song. would be Lose Yourself by Eminem. It was the song playing right before I won a really big championship in women's box lacrosse with my team. The second one would be... Van Morrison's Into the Mystic. Yes. The third one would be from a Belgian band called Kay's Choice. Oh, yeah. And it would be the song Believe.
That's amazing. Case choice. That's a blast from the past. Well, thanks for your question and answer. Yeah. Thanks, Jen. That was fun. All right. What's next? Hey, Hansels. I'm AJ. I'm from Maryland. First of all, love the podcast. I love each of you all. And the podcast kind of gives us a little bit of insight into your personal lives outside of the stage and film.
I just love the podcast. I hope you all keep going. But my question is kind of based on Tick because I'm a fan and when I describe her to other people, I'll usually say, oh, she's like the female version of Larry David. And generally people will get it. So I'm curious if you all have been described as either another comedian or just someone with a huge personality that we would all know. And did you agree or?
You're like, nah, that's not me. Like, Tig, do you think you're the female version of Larry David? Do you think that? That is hilarious. He's a little more curmudgeon-y. Yes. I know I have- I don't know what it is, that side of my personality where I'll be a curmudgeon. But I don't think I'm curmudgeon-y. I think I'm just dry, you know? Yeah. I mean, I can see. I can see.
that that would be like kind of a but you you don't get worked up like him like you're not you don't have that kind of manic yeah i don't get yeah i'm more like this is really yeah Yeah. Let me think this through here. And not as neurotic. No, I don't feel neurotic at all. I mean.
So maybe she's wrong. I think we answered that one. Did you guys ever have in the early days, like before you kind of had your own... like i used i i mean still i will just get compared to any gay comic like any or any like queer born female like it's just like oh may martin's like you know like ellen or tig or you know i don't think we're that similar, but that's like the lazy comparison.
But also, I don't know, I get compared to inanimate objects a lot, like a lamp or a Q-tip. Oh, specifically those? Or are you just saying you as a lamp? I can see a Q-tip. Yeah, those two. came to mind that i've heard and then also think well i told you my co-star recently said i have mosquito energy or you know things things like that you know weasel you know may is like a q-tip with mosquito energy I just usually get compared to any comic that's a larger size.
as i am so they just kind of pack us all in together yeah lazy i sometimes have in the i i don't other than we have blonde hair and are you know kind of out there at times and Some people have thought I was Bridget Everett. I've had people say that they love my show. And I'm like, what? the podcast and they're like oh no the one on hbo and i'm like okay i love bridget she's amazing amazing but we are so different
It is funny when people come up and they'll go, oh my God, I love your show. And then I'll say, what show? And they'll laugh at me and go, you're blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, that's not my only show. I have my podcast as a show. My standup's a show. I'm on this TV. show or what i'm i'm showbiz you know what i mean i'm showbiz yeah and when people have congratulated me on whatever show i've been on and that i haven't been on i was like thanks Bye.
Well, I'll tell you, I didn't say who people compared me to, which, of course, people say Tom Cruise as far as like looks and stuff. But what I thought was interesting when I first dated Stephanie was. I reminded her of Bob Dylan. Hey. Interesting. You know what? Which is so interesting. I kind of get it.
I could kind of see that. There's like, well, there's a phase of his life where he just, he sort of, when he had no time for press and stuff and he was like in no direction home, kind of like he's just gone electric and he's kind of like. he's pretty cool yeah i could yeah i see that yeah i don't know i'll have to ask more about it like um uh but those days are gone do you think she means because your voice is like
Good morning, Stephanie. Good morning. That's probably the best I could sing. Yeah. Once upon a time. That's good, Mae. That was good. I love that question. Let's get one more before we finish our pretty little episode. Hi Fortune, May, and Tig. I'm a big fan. My name is Rachel from the Valley. I just got my first kitten he's a little black and white tuxedo cat and I cannot for the life of me pick a name I have a dog named Ziggy and the cat is his little brother
But I have no idea what to call him. Every three days, I'm changing my mind. I would love your help. Thanks. It sounds like she's going to cry. Yeah, or like we woke her up. Maybe we should whisper. I had my very first cat was a little tuxedo kitten. I got her when I was two and I named her Stripe. And she didn't have a stripe on her. But I remember thinking that was a cat name. Yeah, that's a good name. I called her Stripe. So if you want to keep that tradition going.
and call your little tuxedo kitten stripe please do i have two suggestions oh great okay uh i thought of cookie from black and white cookies you know so cookie uh depending if it's a girl yeah and because i when i think of tuxedos i think of fancy fancy or handsome a tuxedo Oh my God. What do you mean fancy? Handsome. I didn't even think of handsome. I was thinking of Reba McIntyre. Fancy. Fancy. Those are my suggestions. Those are my suggestions.
May, what's yours? When I think of tuxedos, I think of like putting on the Ritz. So maybe Ritz, maybe Ritz. Ooh, Ritz. Yeah, maybe Penguin or something. But then also... I really. Oh, who wears the tux? Whoever's hosting the Oscars. Call it Oscar. Oscar. Interesting. I like where our brains go. I feel like we really gave this person a lot to work with. A lot of names. Hopefully she can go back to sleep. get some rest sleep well Rachel hopefully you can go back to sleep and just snuggle in with
Oscar. Oscar. Handsome Oscar. Fancy Stripe. cookie there's is there anything is there like a combination of the three of our names like how would you if you were gonna ship us for instance like a hollywood yeah yeah like what would you call us now i'm listening let's go back to that psychic as a thruple. Matifo. M-T-F. Matifo. Matifo. Faux. Fortune. I mean, what is fortune? She's called fortune. Okay, Matifo. Or...
We're just petering out like mumbling. That's what happens at the end of the year. That's right. You're tired. You're really tired trying to name your throuple. Yeah, it's exhausting. I mean, what a treat. This is always a fun time. I love doing the one-on-ones with you guys on the pretty little episodes. uh you know it's just a fun vibe there but i always love it when we're together too yes me too this is the best way to head out of the new year old year head into the new year yeah whatever
Blast off. We just really appreciate everybody who listens to our pod and has been since we started. We are so excited for the next year and all the good stuff to come. Yeah, we have so many fun live shows coming up. recordings and more merchandise headed your way and uh yeah the just the vibe of the listeners that good people yeah the like you can tell on our instagram page there's so many funny comments and kind comments and the
community that's building around it and seeing people like wearing the gear at shows and then finding each other and chatting. It's amazing. My show in Toronto the other night, just like the most. subtly handsome dude sitting in front row and his pretty little lady.
yes oh i love her sweatshirt whatever it was i did a show in santa rosa i saw so many handsome shirts and pretty little lady shirts in the audience it was wild yeah very cool thank you guys for supporting that and uh yeah we'll be in uh Nashville and Austin in April. So get those tickets are going fast. Boom. And until next time, keep it pretty handsome.
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check what time the headliner starts playing before going to a concert.
yeah checking first is smart so check allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds you're in good hands with allstate this content is intended for audiences in the u.s only savings vary terms apply Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.